Monday, April 18, 2011

Post Wisdom Tooth Extraction

I knew I was in for trouble when my dentist called for the plumbing tools.  The big red long handled wrench seemed out of place in that little dental office.  When that didn't work and he asked the nurse for C2 explosive I admit I was a bit anxious.
I've trusted my dentist alot but his recent divorce had me a little concerned. I thought too the patient, not the dentist, was supposed to get the laughing gas.
When he shouted 'clear' all the staff were out of the building, the C2 went off and my face felt different.
The Masked Dentist, just sat back in his chair scratching his head.  More drilling and finally he said,  "A little something I got from Fukushima. My dental colleague Osama said it works when all else fails."   The tooth came out when he hit the remote detonator.
After he said,  "You might have a little swelling for a few days. If it hasn't gone down in three days, come back and see me.  You might have a 'dry hole. Ibuprofen is all you'll need for the pain."  He was smiling the way men going through divorces smile.
I've been counted the seconds and minutes until three days.  I chewed so many ibuprofen I started blowing bubbles with them.  I even mixed them with acetominophen and acetylsylic acid.
When I couldn't get any narcotics there two nights back, all they were selling was crack, I got a 38  for the same price day's worth of the  ibuprofen I'd been using.   I thought it might add to my negotiating position when I returned to my dentist office. I was definitely going to need Fascial Reconstruction.
After the first night of sleeplessness and pain, I figure he'd  held out on the T3's until I promised to kill his ex for him.  I just couldn't see him wanting the mother of his children dead. He used to be such a nice guy before the divorce.  The second night of pain and sleeplness  I figured it out. He wanted me to kill his ex's lawyer.  Lawyer's are fair game. Even Shakespeare said Kill All the Lawyers. I'll show him the gun and that will get me something better than ibuprofen.  Three nights without sleep. His office opens in a half hour.
I should never have told him I was a recovered alcoholic. Why else would he have gone on about the possibility of a 'dry hole'. Does he think I don't know what hell is already.
I better get on the Harley and get over to his office before the swelling closes up my eye.
I thought of Jesus last night.  Funny how pain takes you to the cross.  What the hell was that guy thinking anyway. Sacrificing himself for the world.  They didn't have 38's back in his day, so I guess the choices were limitted.  I'd think twice about doing a hit with a sword myself.

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