Trek Bicycles, Burnaby

I had the rack for a bicycle.  I followed Jerry from Rack Attack’s advise and phoned Trek. My first mountain bike had been a Trek which I left when I bought my Harley from Trev Deely.  

I phoned Trek and spoke to Jack who was really knowledgeable and helpful.  I told him I want’ an e bike for city and trail that had a rack from my 20 lb cockapoo and would bit on the new behind my jeep Rack Attack bike rack.  

“We have a couple of bike’s here. The Verve who saw is in stock and there’s are sever others that would work.  When you can come in we can let you take a test ride to see what works for you.

I’d thought maybe I’d wait a week or two. I didn’t need a bike immediately but the store opened at 10 am and I was there just as it opened.  

Jack was great in person and the store was really dog friendly. He liked Madigan my cockapoo and saw the Harley box he rode in.  

“No problem, it will fit on our bike racks. I’ve a black lab and I tow him behind me in a trailer.” Jack said.

I really liked the Vercve right off. He showed me a Borrego mountain bike with really fat tires which I would have liked for bow hunting. Years before I tried a mountain bike which had worked well for travelling in the wood quietly but I went back to a quad because it freed me up to look about more and carry game home. I saw myself using the bike mostly for trips to the mall, trips to the dog park and riding  on trails.  I travel with my Thor motorhome and carried my Vespa 300 tech on a rack on the back. It worked really well until I was in LA. The 12 lane free way was too much for me on the Vespa. I’d ridden my Harley Electroglyde on American freeways but that’s what the Harley is made for. Now I had the Jeep Wrangler and just wanted a bicycle for exercise and quick trips. 

Thankfully all the bikes were built for a heavy load, more than Madigan and I together.  

It was great to be back on a bicycle.  The Trek low ride Verve 34 was perfect for me. It was really easy riding and the Bosch e bike electronics were the best. Such an advance in a few years over my original e-bikes.  It fit well on the rack.  Jack and the delightful service tech showed me how to manage that. I paid and they had it all together waiting an hour later.  Madigan and I had gone for burgers at Wendy’s.  

I had  added the saddle bags remembering how important our had been when we bicycle camped  across Europe in the early 70’s.  I also had a new yellow green helmet with red back light and a mount for a Go Pro.  

Now i look for ward to adding some go pro footage of me bicycling to add to the quad and Harley footage I’ve already taken. It’s just that the design has come so far they think of that. 

Amazing.

I thanked Jack and the service tech and drove home.  

Just like the Rack Attack stop I was in and out of Trek in a couple of hours.  Efficient and just an all round good shopping experience.  

Normally shopping tires me out when I arrived home and unloaded the Verve 3 and parked the Jeep I was ready to take a ride to the mall for mail.  The power pedal assist worked great on the flat and low hillls between here and there but I had to walk the bike up the steep hill on the way back because I wasn’t in gear and was carrying a lot of groceries. The Bosch tells me to lower gear and I have to do that or I’ll be caught like I was stopped and having to walk the bike up the last 20 feet.  Basch actually has a ‘walking assist function’.  It goes for low power assist called ‘eco’ to the high power assist called ‘turbo’ I think.  I was amazed I could do it and see that with practice I’ll lose weight as well and my knee I’d torn the ligament it tolerated the whole experience well. Now I’ve a new vehicle for the mall trips.  Next up will be taking Madigan for to the dog walk park.  

I saw a review from a guy in his 70’s who really loved his Trek Vervc. Older I appreciated the consideration and the positive attitude of the Trek folk. 

Thank you Trek. What fun!!!

 

Rack Attack, Coquitlam

I mentioned to my colleague Dr. G. Horvath who cycles back and forth to Squamish on the sea to sky that I planned to buy an E-bike but that I had to get a rack firsr that would work with my Thor Motorcoach and the Jeep Wagner I tow behind it.

“Rack Attack” he said, “That’s the best place to get a bicycle rack.’  

He would know so I called Rack Attack Coquitlam on Blue Mountain Streeet by #1 near the IKEA store. Ipoke with Jerry.  We discussed my concerns over the phone. I was impressed with his knowledge and choices.

Next day I drove into their shop. I had my jeep.  I told him I didn’t want to be lifting onto the roof . I showed him a picture of  the 29 foot Thor Hurricane with the Excalibur hitch attach between it and the Jeep Wagner that H&E hitch had installed.

“It could got above the hitch but I think it would be best behind the Jeep.” Jerry said. He was looking through the computer at the various combinations.

“I didn’t want to lose the use of the back gate as that’s’ where I put my shopping especially weekly groceries.”I said,

He showed me a couple of swing hitches which would open with the opening of the gate.

Definitely skookum.

The carrier itself was state of the art. I could see what my colleague Gary liked them. He has bicycles that cost as much as my motorcycles so he really wants something safe and sturdy.

Jerry had the swing bar and carrier in stock

I paid the few thousand for the set up.  

It really wasn’t that much more than the carrier I’d had for my motorcycles but this was really well made by comparison.

They did the installation in the back giving me time to take Madigan for a half hour walk in the nearby park.

When I saw it on the jeep it was perfect.  Everything had a lock too.  

Madigan liked it and I could see he want to pee on it to make it his.

“You can’t do that in the garage. You’ll have to wait till we’re parked in our parking lot.”

Given I really like my Jeep I was thankful this rack didn’t detract from the appearance. Vanity. While I was there a very sporty young lady drove in with her new Range Rover and had a 4 bike bike rack at the rear of her car.  I felt i was definitely in the healthy athletic set and tried to pull in my gut.  

“Where would you recommend I get an e bike around here, I’ve had several but the last one was a company that went out of business and the battery couldn’t be replaced. I’d like something where that wouldn’t happen.”I asked

“I’d try Trek Burnaby or Citi-bikes. They sell the most dependable stocks that have been around for years.”  

I really thank Jerry at Rack Attack and made a plan to make my next stop Trekj. 

 

Burnaby Journal, Monday , July 20, 2026

I took my Jeep into Journey Jeep.  It was my 4th visit since the little dashboard light came on saying the Circle A with exclamation mark was not happy.  There was a recall part install first then a new battery and then another little battery replaced and finally the door electronics were reviewed a second time. The problem in the end was the car sensing when the door closed and opened. I’m just thankful not to see the warning light.  It’s very positive.

Then the really big event was Madigan’s grooming. I had to give him Trazodone and Gabapentin at night and then in the morning.  I can only get him to take pills with vanilla ice cream.  I’m anxious when he’s at Dr. Biernecki North Shore Vets but that’s only because I’m anxious about anaeszthesia.  Every time he gets groomed he does well. Laura had come over a day early so was there Thursday afternoon when we picked him up. He was more growly than usual and acted a bit stoned that evening.  Friday morning he was well.  They said he was a little overweight.  Me too.  The stout crew. 

Laura likes to eat and rest and read and watch tv . So that’s what we did  I barbecued steak and made a bacon sandwiches and ham cold cut sandwiches. We had the chilli I’d made and frozen and I even made and omelette.  WE had a burger I barbecued on white bread.  We didn’t get out o White Spors or order in Me & Eds Just an at home weekend I did some work but not much..   

I finished reading a Louis L’Amour western and China Gordon biography.  We watched the new Rookie Series in the even.  We walked Madigan and celebrated when he pooped.  We talked with Mack and Shane, Helena, and Ernest.  Not very social and superficially so.. I did the Saturday doctor recovery zoom meeting.  I swam a couple of times and sat for a bit in the hot tub.

Not too busy. Not too shabby.  

There’s so much I could have done.  I’ve the storage locker to reduce.  I’ve an e bike and swing hitch I need to find .  I was paid so was able to manage the bank and pay the Tax Free and credit cards.  

I carried on.

I read and slept.

I was comfortable in family, Madigan Laura and I.  

The wars continue in Iran and Ukraine.

The big event this week is taking the Thor to the Ford for maintenance.  All is well except the forward HVAC has not worked since I bought it.  They didn’t have a part and said hat the part was no longer available.  It’s only a few years old but the generator and Thor A/C will work alternatively .  I sometimes think it may need to be fixed in Yuma.  For me to take in the Thor I have to stow and bring in the slide.  II stuggle with that a bit. Like weighing anchor and docking.  It’s a challenge but I’m gettin better at it.  

Now I’ve had a coffee but feel like a nap.  Laura left this morning so Madigan and I were up at 530 and saw her off at 6 am We are blessed by her visits.  So kind.

I still don’t know what I’m going to do when I grow up.  This years big challenge was to add the hitch and Jeep to the Thor. The test will be the drive south this Winter.  It’s a long haul. Laura is jointing me at Palm Springs and there’s FOY Bombay Beach and Algadones and Yuma. I’m looking forward to having the jeep with me.  

I’ve felt the outsider again and realize that the most distinguishing feature is lack of children.  Raising children has been the primary activity besides work of most I know.  

Thank you God for this day. Thank you for this weekend. Thank you for Madigan and Laura, my family and friends, my work and patients and associates . Help me to be of service. 

Thank you for George. He takes his 50 year cake in a couple of days.  Thank you for Sobriety, AA and the church. Thank you for educations and learning.  

Thank you Jesus.  

Burnaby Journal, July 18,2026

I had a dream where I was an outsider.  I didn’t belong but I wanted to be accepted. There was a Lord of the Manor and his close friends.  He liked my dog and we talked of dogs and clothing for a bit.  People came and went in small groups.  I was alone. It was an English setting.  

I remember my friend in England saying they traced their family and power back hundreds of years.  He’d asked if my family like ‘antiques’ and I’d said my mother liked ‘old’ Canadian furniture. How old. A hundred years I’d said,  My mother likes Roman and pre Roman furniture. He told me we were sitting on a seat two thousand years old.  I remember they haa a horse in the back yard.  He’d introduced me to the Queen’s sister the day before with her Captain. They’d been at the local riding club.  

In other dreams I’m in a great house of light m like the Green Island of Sat….something.  IN this house it seemed a part of the old mansion connected somehow to the cathedral. I’d visited the castles of my relatives in Scotland and the farms of my relatives in Ireland.  

My brother and sister in law in Ottawa were very concerned with status.  I hadn’t thought of it much growing up except we lived on North Drive and the rich with bigger houses and bigger cars and back yards opening onto the river .  When my brother took over my parents estate when my father and mother grew too old to manage his affairs he was angry at how wealthy they were because my parents had been very discrete.  

I’d asked my dad once why he didn’t buy a new car like our neighbor, the chemist. He’d responded , I own all I have. I own my house and all else.  I expect the banks own all our neighbours possessions like I know that new car was bought on credit,  

Dad was a master of living within his means and saving.

He was a mechanic and engineer and fixed everything himself with rare exception.  He hunted and fished.  Mom gardened and preserved.  Looking back we were raised well attending the finest of public schools participating in all the sports we desired, having music lessons and travelling across the country by train and to visit family in Toronto and northern Canada. 

When my grandfather died we found that the lawyer who managed the estate in the small town along with the other small town farmers estates had absconded with the millions my grandfather had saved from his ranching and logging business. He’d arrived as a Scottish immigrant whose family had been farmers and loggers and fishermen in Scotland.  He became the Reeve of the county.  My dad his oldest son described him as very hard.  Still my grandfather came to visit us each year in the south along with the younger brothers.  My father only had 2 sons with my first grandmother I never met.  My father never liked his brother when we were younger because his mother died giving birth to him.  Years later they because closer partly beause my father liked his son as well as us.  Dad had one full brother and 4 step brothers. His step sister died. Mom liked our cousins too.  We visited the north too.  I was old enough to shoot gophers with my 22.  I’d chase chickens and upset my grandfather. “Chasing my chickens will make the meat tough”.  He’d put me high up on the Clydesdales and I could see all over.

My grandad’s grand farmhouse was very large with many rooms but very little furniture and few pictures on the wall.  I think it made it easier for my step grandmother to clean.  My grandfather didn’t believe in ‘frills’ and the farm house seemed always like a house but never like a home My mother quilted and crocheted and had a picture of the ‘Blueboy’ in the sun room where she keep flowers and plants all year.s She especially liked her Christmas cactus which bloomed each year at Christmas.  I grew up in a home my father and mother made.  

I don’t feel an outsider when i was in the Greek conference centre where al lathe young people dressed in light clothing mulled about like I was at a medical conference.

There’s a medical conference going on this week.  IDAA in Chicago.  I’ve always felt a part of there even though I know there’s a hierarchy.  When I was in London the people I knew all knew and felt the hierarchy but I was outside of the restrictions in a different category. 

“You’re a colonial’” the old Scot liked to tell me.  I’m a Scot and not as much of an outsider as the Irish.  Colonials are just thought to be passing through and are treated better for a short while because no one wants to offend the folks who bring in all the money we have.  You’re what makes us an empire.:

I’d been comfortable to be kicked out of high school and to land a job as a carpenter.  I felt comfortable there and think my life may have been quite different and alright if I’dstayed as chiropractor.  My mother wanted me to go to university.  She was concerned bout hierarchy. My uncle , her brother in law.was a dentist and her older sister lorded it over her that her husband was a doctor.  

I liked becoming a doctor.  I felt when I became an MD I was finally a member of a secret society. The felllowship and more advanced degrees including the American MD didn’t add to that sense of being part of something.  I’ver never regretted the MD and loved the training and experiences . I most loved being a country gp but my wife was interested in the hieararchy of the city and wanted to stay with her mother who considered her self superior to her neighbours because she had a nursing degree.  University education made me an ‘officer’ according to the civil/military ‘service’ model of hierarchy.  

I liked most training as a surgeon but the government administration class were such ignorant bullies and a terrible gang of white collar thugs . They controlled the access to the beds and the very best surgeons were always struggling to get opoerating time and space. It was terrible to see, all the politics and the corruption. Government resources were ‘largesse’.  Einstein might not get a lab because the distant cousin had more ‘political pull’.  There were tribes and power and money that was dirty or clean defined that space. I believed in meritocracy and just wanted to save lives. I didn’t’ decide. I was very angry when doctors in Muslim countries were jailed for treating prisoners. I wanted to be a missionary doctor. I was raised Christian and a member of the Baptist church and mystical and spiritual as a teen and early 20’s when i became more and more involved in meditation and Easter religions. 

My mother’s father was university educated. I think he was a banker. In Ireland we learned his brother was a local famous geologists.  My other family from my mother’s side in Glasgow were professors and journalists and great artists.  I met them and loved the laughter in the home because my home more a serious affair and these aunts and uncles were all close family and best of friends.  Even now i think back to the ancient brothers and sisters with everyone talking and story telling hilarity.  I was invited into the queen’s home with my aunt in Edinborough but didn’t register it as I was a self absorbed intellectual in the day all intent on my reading and writing. 

I’m 29 years sober and I like my life today.  I’ve an online meeting with doctors I’ve to attend today.  I have other dreams which are mostly in mountain and valley hunting or in the sailboats at harbour in the sea.  Now I’m sitting in the Thor motorhome.  My girlfriend of many years is sleeping in the bedroom with my little dog who had his hair cut yesterday and looks very dapper today.  I pray each day to know God more truly and to know his will and have the energy and power to carry that out each day.  The next big event in my life is being at my friends 50 year sober “cake’ next Wednesday.  Then Friday I’m taking the motorhome with its Ford motor in for engine maintenance.  I had the Jeep in and the error light on the dashboard was finally ‘fixed’ Thursday and Madigan had his hair cut Friday.  Laura got away early and came Thursday.  I’m very thankful and blessed today.  

Thank you Jesus. 

 

Rate Your Doctor

I made the mistake of checking this out , the first time in a few years. A patient said they’d read the reviews and it disturbed them.  It disturbed me too.  It was a classic ‘attack’ piece and I don’t think the review was from a patient I’d actually seen.  It’s like the attack bots. 

The forensics psychiatrists argue that like judges ‘rate your doctor’ reviews were inappropriate for psychiatrists because the best psychiatrist will invariably make enemies.’ 

I was the supervisor in the psychiatry emergency and the dangerously insane ward in asylums and a consultant in jails. It is rare for regular doctors to ‘certify’ or mandate to be hospitalized or take the freedom. Diagnosing a borderline personality disorder, psychopath, narcissistic personality disorder, or antisocial personality disorder or alcoholic or addict isn’t a welcome diagnosis that brings praise and thanks.  Neighbor does cancer but cancer is a diagnosis which isn’t ‘blamed’ on the doctor’.  Second opinions don’t change the diagnosis of crack addiction and yet the diagnosis of crack addiction can affect a persons employment or insurance. As a family physician I was never offered money to ‘lie’ to the insurer.  As an addiction medicine specialist I have been offered money and threatened if I don’t change my ‘opinion’.   I did run into this issues when i worked at a street clinic diagnosing STD’s and being told ‘you can’t tell my doctor because my wife /husband can’t know I have ‘gonorrhea’.  Yet a public health requirement was that the contacts had to be notified.  Diagnosing HIV was a lot harder for me and patients than when I diagnosed cancer but the patient didn’t ’blame me’ and rarely believed that the ‘diagnosis’ would go away if the doctor was just silenced. 

I was very ‘popular’ as a family physician.  I was told when I came into psychiatry that I must realize that not only can’t I please everyone I will for certain make enemies.  

I have reported a number of pedophiles who told me they were doing these things despite my telling them that I was required to report these behaviour if they persisted, I’m not required to report them if someone said they ‘did’ something,  The law is exacting .It allows people to talk of their past but as a psychiatrist I am required to protect people from future negative behaviour if I believe the risk is there., Pedophiles have told me and argued that they would continue have sex with children and that it was their right.  I reported them. They have hated me since. They have made one or more comments on ‘rate your doctor’.

I had fired a crack addicted staff member and they wrote several scrurillous comments on ‘rate your doctor’. Their boyfriend threatened me and threatened my staff.  I was disappointed that we faced so much risk in our work and had so little protection from authorities.  I worked with ‘victims’ and know the limits to what police and the legal system can do. I was a member of the Canadian Civil Liberties and Psychiatrists against political abuse of psychiatry so know the challenges judges and legislators face. I’m a libertarian at heart but having worked in prisons think the anti police people are generally ignorant. I’ve known psychopaths who would just as soon kill you as play golf with you. Fortunately when I’ve offended one they have a list and it doesn’t take long before they are hostile towards someone else.  

After family medicine and psychiatry where I specialized in Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD, I did a specialty in Addiction Medicine. As a psychiatrist I worked in the north and in reserves where they couldn’t get doctors to go.   Most family physicians and psychiatrists avoid patients who are actively addicted or even those in recovery.  They are commonly psychotic and often emotionally in a state for ‘for me or agin me’.  There’s a lot of paranoia and black and white thinking.  

Cherry picking is a way a psychiatrist can be popular. I was impressed with one colleague who only saw dependent women patients The patients never got better or changed but were mothered and soothed. She was a good businesswoman too and fired any patients who didn’t appreciate her.  Originally psychiatrists were taught to help patients most by ‘working through their negative transference’ but now there we are taught to work with people who have a ‘positive transference’ and mostly medicate.  The rich can afford psychoanalysts but today one is lucky to even see a psychiatrist once as psychiatrists are encouraged most to just see people for one visit every 6 months like other specialists.  Given half my patients don’t have family physicians and at least that many can’t afford any therapy let alone psychologists I continue to talk to patients as psychiatrists do asking them about their work, relationships ,intimate and friendship and their recreation. Restricting interaction to questions about medication response is safe and good business but it presumes someone else is doing addressing all those other areas of the persons life. The result for me is making hundreds of diagnoses and identifying multiple problem which were ‘missed’ by patients and others but were critical to the medical and psychiatric care.  

The other way to be a popular psychiatrist is to ‘enable’. This is where you agree with the negative behaviour.  Counselors are commonly faulted for this,.  It’’s a marvellous business model and supported by the College of Physicians because “enablers” don’t attract complaints.  Saying things like ‘of course you need a little cocaine’  and ’prescriptions of opiate for minor pain” are very popular with certain individuals.’ The best ‘enabling’ psychiatrists are those who do not address ‘accountability’ but rather ‘triangulate’ and agree with the patients saying  ‘of course your boss is an ass’,(the 10th job in 2 years).   ‘your mother in law is a bitch’.  “Your ex , all 50 of them were narcissists’ is very attractive to personality disordered folk especially borderlines.  I have been the first one to ‘diagnose’ addiction in countless individuals who have been seeing doctors and psychologists and counselors and psychiatrists for years.  It doesn’t bring a ‘thank you’ if the ‘lie’ has been working up to then.   

I have made very important enemies by reporting a senior physician who caused the death of a patient and tried to deny and falsified records. Back in those days I thought like Clint Eastwood, the good guy and the bad guy.  I now know there’s a ‘nest’. I encountered an ‘alcoholic department’.  People also rally to protect their own. A bad judge had to be so bad that his brothers and sister judiciary found him at fault for falsely calling my a liar.  I was very thankful for the lawyers but not at all pleased to have let myself get caught up in his illness   I did catch a hospital administrator stealing money from the medical equipment so thought I should report that the money for an incubator had gone to decorating his office. I was even more incensed when he stopped paying for the oxygen tanks to be filled and I was trying to resuscitate  a person and had to get another tank which had oxygen.  My surgeon colleague said it had happened to him but he was afraid to complain because administration has all the time in the world to battle and he just wanted to do surgery.  I was told I should be more Canadian and not ‘rock the boat’.  The hospital now requires a non disclosure agreement from the doctors.  There are no whistleblower protections in Canada like there are in the US.  Even then I wouldn’t like to be Assange. While I might have a tendency to see a ‘popular doctor ‘ as one who is ‘political’ and plays it safe I know colleagues who are amazing individuals and I’m doing my best to learn from them.  First and foremost those individuals are amazing clinicians and secondly they have a bed side manner which I admire. Lawyer’s and administrators and especially beurocrats wouldn’t last a week in the active clinical world of addiction pscyhiatry except by avoidance.  

The good news for me is I have a story of the bad judge, or a drunk pharmacist or the stealing hospital administrator.  These stick out because they are rare. I’ve worked with dozens of BC and Manitoba Judges and a half dozen American judges and they have been the most amazing people, really, really really.  The lawyers I have worked with in the majority have been truly caring and educated and not at all like media sometimes portrays them. Today I believe that 90% of journalists give the 10 % of good journalists a bad name. By contrast 98% of judges I have known like my heads of psychiatry and medicine and surgery reassure me. The bad applies are few and the good apples are the norm.    The hospitals with exceptions have been generally well run but really I’m thankful to be able to work from my own clinic and other peoples clinics because I’m no longer institutionally inclined. I admire people who are. My brother worked in government and had amazing skill for accommodation. I thought he was a pretzel but my congressman friend says politics is like herding cats and it’s a good day if you can convince them to get up and move at all. I’m not political.  I’m a clinician and it’s been a great experience to have the decades of education and years of experience to still be able to help people.  

I have opinions and that means I have declared biases.  I do use evidence based data and refer people to scientific literature  to challenge the misinformation that is now common in media especially social media.

I don’t like the ‘hollow men’ and the attempts of the people pleasers and those who learn to talk” beaurocracese” - lots of talk but no substance or matter., Politicians recently have been making all manner of statements but not giving proof.  Intellectualization and politics are not scientific.  Emotionalism isn’t either 

Psychiatry is biological, psychological, sociological and spiritual,   Prescribing a medication, psychopharmacology, is well researched.  Canada’s CANMAT is  the best reference available. I am disappointed that so many Canadians are graduating high school and college without training in scienfic method or logic and fallacies.   Patients become very anger when I say I can’t prescribe them something because their friends or social media says it is good for them.,  I can lose my license to practice medicine if I maim or kill people.  Some 30 to 50 thousand people later I am very blessed and thankful especially to my teachers and for the researchers that I haven’t harmed or killed people.  Like all specialists I may have to do more than one trial of therapy to get the right answer.  As a family physician when I was very popular it was common for me to have to try several antibiotics to cure pneumonias and other serious infections. Psychiatry attracted me as a specialty because it was the most difficult. 

I’m very thankful for pharmacology.  I’m also thankful that as I was training psychoanalytically I was asked questions that ‘offended’ me.  These  ‘emotional’ charged areas are the “cathetic areas.”   Something is triggered,  The ‘transference’ is central to psychiatry especially the psychology of psychiatry. If someone upsets you the next question in psychiatry is what does that remind you of in your child hood.  Usually it  is a  mother or father or sibling.  That’s what the Menninger Triangle is all about.  Freud challenged about his cigar smoking said ‘sometimes a cigar is just a cigar’. Today there is a dumbing down of the ‘process’ so more likely someone might say a cigar is a Freudian slip. ‘Political corrrectness’ rules in society.  Challenges to ‘freedom of speech’ are reported daily.  

I suspect that I’m under attack because being a member of WPATH I agreed with the age of 18 for sexual surgery. I also distinguised ‘cosmetic surgery’ from ‘gender affirming surgery’ and was personally ‘attacked’ as not being an ‘ally’ of the victim transgender.  Meanwhile I’d treated hundreds of transsexuals providing the assessments for surgery required in Montreal and Vancouver without special payment for those letters. I’d treated dozens of very complicated medical cases and fought on behalf of transgendered people who were persecuted.  I was told that I had to be ‘100%’ behind requests for cosmetic surgery .or I wasn’t an ally.  Surgeons respected me beause I’d done a year of surgical training and knew what they needed to serve.    The same occurred when I objected to patient not getting methadone and suboxone and equally for supporting methadone and suboxone in the jail   When something is controversial and you are taking the middle path you are likely to be hated by both extremes.  I misss the certainty that extremists feel and the terribly lonely place that being moderate brings, arrows and bullet wounds front and back. 

So often people confuse , ‘the doctor didn’t listen to me’ with the ‘doctor didn’t agree with me’.  Commonly, especially mentally ill patients who have no knowledge of logic and courts believe they’re right and they have just enough time ‘you will agree with them’.  The trouble is that applies for the rich who pay themselves for a counsellor who will agree with them and will listen ad infinitum so long as the sound of Ker Ching is heard in the back ground.  I work for the patient and the health care system.  I’ve had a 2 year waitlist and there’s been a horrendous shortage of psychiatrists and Psychiatric services for decades.  The ‘catchment’ figures for government psychiatric services run around 30 % in some studies while collectively the private clinics services are 80%.  People prefer a family physician to a walk in clinic mostly.  I keep my waitlist short in the last decade by turning away cases that are better managed elsewhere.  Most of my colleagues turn away addiction and personality disorders. A half of my practice is that group of patients who are most likely to complain.  My colleague who only sees schizophrenics is a great doctor but least likely to have a complaint because schizophrenics don’t complain,  

I was impressed with our Supreme Court Judge from UBC who argued that the courts needed to be more transparent.  I’ve believed in radical transparency but politically and economically libertarianism as opposed to authoritarianism is on the rise.  I wonder about ‘sharing’ when I see that people view ‘honesty’ and ‘truth’ as ‘weakness’.  

I have no plan of retiring or leaving as so many of my favourite colleagues have done to avoid the harsh demanding climate with burn out and lack of resources ,  I’ll muddle along today.  In the last months dozens of my patients have expressed hope that I will continue to work.  I say I have to pay the bank for my car and mortgage and am enjoying my work and have no reason to leave yet.  But they’re just thankful for care and someone to sign their papers. Half my patients don’t have a family physician.  People with an axe to grind, the patients I refused to give more controlled substances to than indicated or the ones angry that being on benzodiazepine I am taking them off because the college demands this as does the latest research.  When I wouldn’t write more Xanax for a patient  pulled out a gun and showered me what he could do. I didn’t give him more medication and certainly didn’t say ‘make my day.’  I did tell him though if he killed me no other doctor would ever prescribe him Xanax,  It’s a tough withdrawal and it took a year for him to get clean.  Recovery is a challenge and abstinence is a major achievement but today so many people are encouraged to opt for ‘palliative care’ rather than ‘cure’ when a ‘cure’ is possible but costly financially.  

I’m against ‘MAID” for the mentally ill too but I’m not allowed to explain why.   I have let people die  on my watch when I could have kept them alive but know that our government refuses to date to accept ‘external review’ of MAID for the mentally ill. Government t has a conflict of interest in letting poor people die when what they want is better housing and  mental health services they can’t access but are being offered ‘death as healthcare’.  The dead don’t complain.  .  I don’t make friends by suggesting politicians in favour of MAID lead the way with themselves or their family members.  Canada has long had a two tier medical system, for the rich and for the poor. The rich often get care in the US . 

Despite all criticism I am here because I think our College and Health Care Premier and UBC are doing a good job in very difficult times.  I love our Doctors of BC association. I see Ottawa as a problem more tthan Victoria on any day.  I believe that when people are open and honest that we can improve, individually and collectively.   Shining a light into the darkness is restorative.  I feel blessed to have been a psychiatrist and known such remarkable teachers and patients.  Critics are a dime a dozen.  I am sensitive to ‘ad hominem’ and appreciate constructive criticism over destructive criticism.  Yet I know several psychiatrists who have stopped seeing people with addiction or personality disorders so they can avoid the complaints which are the norm and common in these populations.  

St. Barnabus Anglican Church, July 12,2026

What a delightful day to attend church. Sunshine and summer.  I drove the Jeep with Madigan to the little church on the hill enjoying seeing all the others on the street going to and from church.,  There’s an aliveness is their presence, I love the ladies in fetching frocks and bonnets.  Near St. Barnabus there’s are Asians, Ethiopians, and Latin American churches.  Lots of white tops and coloured skirts.  

Madigan became excited about a block from the church.  We’ve attended here since before he was born.  He was friend’s with Priest Emily’s dog Fritz. Today he was so well behaved.  Other days he’s fussed and growled in prayers.  None of that today. Hde did bark at the celebrant priest when during the peace the celebrant tried to pet him.  Madigan wasn’t sure of the long bear and great robe. Madigan was wagging his tail when he barked.  The priest said , ‘your dog is very discerning.”  

I loved seeing Martha and Bruce and Neil.  I love the wood in the church interior  and the high ceiling architecture.  A classic heritage building, the best  the Canadian Christian church with stained glass windows and polished wood.  I feel at home here.  I  took great comfort attending during Covid when we were all so alone except here in the heart of community.

John Marsh was the visitting celebrant.  He said he’d retired. He looked the part of a holy man, perhaps even a Druid.  His sermon was captivating and thought provoking.  He clarified the teachings of Paul regarding the teachings of Jesus and spirituality versus the teaching of the world or the flesh. He chose realistic examples of institutional goals as compared to the simple teachings of the Bible.  He described the gospel as revolutionary.  I felt like I was back at Regent College or Vancouver Theological College hearing the cutting edge ideas of theology.  He made it clear  why it’s so important today.  

Over coffee I expressed my concern that the head of the Church of England like our Prime Minister Carney were celebrating Muslim values.  Even the Pope has been pushing Islam despite the vast difference between the religion of the ‘servant king’ and the ‘Jehad King’.  

John Marsh is truly a brilliant man and a thoroughly entertaining speaker,  He spoke to the church and church attendance saying they were well and good but just as standing in a garage didn’t make one a car one must experience the transformative spirit of Jesus. It was the works that counted.  

I felt good after church. Inspired and uplifted. I like that this group of people gather each week to celebrate the One God, the Father almighty and one Lord Jesus Christ the only son of God.  

Normally in summer and fall I’m away camping, fishing or hunting.  I once told my pastor I was a ‘summer pagan, and winter Christian’ apologizing for my absences. My work takes me on travels as well so I attend other church’s then but love coming back to my Burnaby home church. It’s such a special place with the kindest of people.  I hope I’m able to attend next weekend as John Marsh will be the celebrant again.

Thank you Jesus! 

  

 

Journal - Saturday, July 11,26

It’s an overcast day.  Lovely weather.  Warm but not too hot,  Slight breeze.  I have the door open.  Just the screen door.  Last week with the sun out it was so hot that even with all the blinds closed it was 80 in the Thor.  Now it’s 77 and the A/C comes on occasionally. I have the front blind at Half mast and the awning is out.

I took the jeep in yesterday and they’re now waiting for a part again.  The warning light continues on.  I had to be there for 8 am and did some work but wasn’t into it.   I billed a few hours yesterday though with calls in the afternoon. 

I was fasting.  Thursday I’m a bit crazed by the work and figure I wind down on Saturday.  I finished reading a recent Clive Custer with the Oregon ship.  I watched a western I’d seen before,  I slept but poorly. Waking a couple of times to pee.  I’d been drinking lots of fluids fasting.

Today I had yogurt and boiled some soft boiled eggs. Enjoyed the meeting. Terry is at the IDAA in Chicago.  500 people there.  I enjoyed the meeting. I feel an outsider.  A couple had relapsed , One doing well.  

I enjoyed the visit to Dr. Ready, chiropractor.  I picked up laundry after. Then drove to the East African store where I bought 7 kg of Ethiopian Yirgacheffe green beans.  I also got some dates and stopped in a a shop where I bought some ground beef. They had a variety of sausages and I got 4 Tuscany. I think I’ll go back some days and get the Roumania.  I am also glad I bought the caraway seed edom. I also bought a litttle 2 quart crock pot.  I’m planning on making of chilli.  I will return to my making stew and curry too,  I’ll have enough for a meal and a left over meal or two.  A change from my focus on barbecuing.  I may be making a move to being healthier and less meat.  

I’m breaking even financially but not much more.  I talked to Dave and he hopes to get a couple of thousand for the boat and trailer and motor.  Entropy.

Thank you Jesus for Madigan and this day, this home, my life, my sobriety, my family and friends and work.