Brunette River Walk with Madigan

This may be the first time since we returned from the south that we’ve actually walked the Brunette River.  Madigan was obsessive about sniffing everything and peeing on everything.  He is very territorial and likes to let every other dog that he now owns the walk.  It’a a perfect day with sunshine and blue sky. I was in my Irish Clomachnoise t shirt and canvas shirt.  There was a light refreshing breeze with scents of the forest.  The river was what I think of as its normal height. It runs high in the spring and gets quite low in the summer.  I was glad to see the mallards. Just a very nice morning walk.

We’re are back.  Laura’s SMART Car battery is dead and BCAA doesn’t heave smart car batteries so I’ll get in the Jeep with Madigan and go to the rescue. 

She has it in hand so I’m back to what are Madigan and I going to do. Possibly lunch.

I had thought to ride my motorcycle . I think my Lazer ink printer may be at the post office so I can drive the jeep there to pick it up. Madigan can guard the home.  HE’es fsacinated by looking out the screen door

All chaos broke out.  Peter passers by with the girls. So I had to put on some sweats and shoes and caught up for another walk around the park. Peter and Larry go to Cochran Alberta next to a RV park on the Bow River.

I’m considering what will be the best bike to have with the Jeep, the Harley, Vespa 300 or get a Vespa 150, or a folding electric bike I can carry easily on the back of the Jeep.  Peter is getting my old folding electric bike fixed up to take out. I gave it to them thank them for the inspiration that got me through this summer trip south in the Motorhome. Now I’m waiting for the Blue Ox hitch to be installed then I don’t think I’ll want any other vehicles because that’s would allow me to come and go. I’d like to spend a couple of weeks this summer by a lake somewhere, maybe the okanagan, with a hot springs, maybe Halcyon.  

They’re planning on going back to Sidney next year and I certainly want to do that.  Working virtually gives me that flexibility.  

Burnaby, Friday, Thor

What a lovely day. After days of rain the sun has returned again.  Blue sky. Temperature warming. Spring. Motorcycle weather.

I’ve slept in a half hour.  I’m finishing my morning coffee, planning to walk Madigan shortly. I ‘m wearing this multicolored light and bright polyester kaftan.  I bought it a couple of years ago but rarely wear it. When I do I love the slick polyester feel and bright circus beach colours.  I’ll have to get dressed soon.  

I saw yesterday.  Kaloo Kalay.  Tomorrow a Chiropracter visit with Dr. Ready. I’ve been more active the last two weeks.  

When Laura was leaving in her Smart Car the battery was dead after her being here a week. I was again able to save the day with my Motormaster Jumper battery. She told me last night she’s getting a new battery today. 

I don’t know what I’m doing.  My priority is the Blue Ox Hitch for the Jeep to be towed behind the Motorhome. I sent the pictures of the Jeep to them this week.  They’ll get back to me for when they can book the installation. Sometime in the next weeks.  

I’ve called Corey at Nova Scotia to find out if I did deposit anything in the TFS account last year. Anil said he didn’t see any.  I’d like to contribute to retirement but all my money has been going to Thor and Willy the jeep. It’s settling down.  The quad and trailer are up for sale.  There’s the little boat at trailer I’m not heard about. I’m thinking of selling the 300 win mag.  Also I’m waiting for the buyback from the government for the black creek 223

I caught up on the clinic practice yesterday and will address calls today or tomorrow.

It’s otherwise a fairly blank sleight after a whirlwind of activity.  Madigan always votes for more walks.  We can certainly do that. Then a trip to the mall. I could go to the storage locker too as I’d like to get some books out to donate.  

I learned that Harry Hay ‘s Radical Fairies has chapter’s here. A patient surprised me by telling me he belonged.  My distant uncle started the first civil rights Matrachine Society in the 50’s and the radical fairies in the late 70’s.  I remember reading ‘not queer’ by the couple who complained that the Gay Parade caused their neighbours to look at them oddy. They were against the deviance as they were fully accepting into the power circles of Washington.  Harry Hay by contrast was on the west coast promoting the idea of ‘not fitting’ in but rather that the LGBT community should be its own distinctly different and separate entity.  I m reading the history of the Orthodox Church and the same issue arose when Islam invaded Turkey and allowed the church to continue though like in Communist China , the ‘different’ bits were removed .  On X and Facebooks there are ads saying Muslims love Jesus. But their ‘Jesus’ isn’t the Son of God or God or part of the Christian Trinity.  I often think it’s difficult to explain color to the color blind and the image of the deaf folk watching people dancing comes to mind.

I enjoyed being a nudist swims and beaches and have often thought I’d have enjoyed joining a nudist club. I like naked bodies and know I like sitting at coffee shops and watching people . It’s even better or the beach but the job is not to stare. I’d have to resist that at the nudist colony.  The orgy is a part of the gay scene with the casual pick up and casual sex more pronounced that college frat experiences .Girls used to be rate limittimg steps but with the hundreds of partners and competitions to fuck as many men as possible, birth control and constracetptive they’re not appearing so different. My lesbian doctor friend said it was difficult in the lesbian community in her city as everyone knew everyone and so many had been intimate.  

I’ve always been fastidious and fearful of disease.  Not ironically that didn’t stop me when I wass drinking and alcohol washed away my frontal lobes and hers leaving the Amygdala free rein.  Now I’d like to think I’m a gentleman and not a barbarian because of my high standards but frankly I’m more afraid of strangers not just the aspect of disease. I like my own company and the dogs.  I enjoy company and intimacy with a friend though we’re growing older and her interest is declining. I laughed talking to my friend about her still getting out dancing and I was thiinking I’d like to dance again but it’s too late. In the evening I like to be home. I don’’t like to drive after dark and I like my couch and tv in the evening. I’d like to go to the symphony but like my dogs company so would rather walk around the lake.  She told me they weren’t dancing at night but having afternoon dances and I laughed because I could do that. Reminded me of the old guy joke when the girlfriend says , “lets go upstairs and make love’ and he replies I’ve told you before, at my age,  I can do one or the other but not both 

I like the time I’m away getting into a bathing suit and hanging out in the hot springs. I was swimming yesterday and the little guy didn’t mind my being away a half hour. He’s getting older and tolerating separation anxiety better.  I’m beginning to think of him as a guard dog rather than physiotherapist and companion.

Laura texted me that BCAA is coming to put a new battery in her SMART car as it’s died again.

Time for a walk. 

Thank you Jesus for this day. Thank you for family, friends, loved ones and Madigan and vehicles. Thank you for this day. Thank you for my health.  Thank you for all your blessings.

 

   

Burnaby, Thor

Each day is a routine. I wake to an alarm and am thankful for the light.Last night was good dreams. I often am thankful for Madigan stumbling over me. It’s a bit annoying but reassuring. His little squirmy body enthusiastic for the day. I am careful moving so as not to elicit pain. Aware that this has been present for years but the instability has been five years now. 

Washroom. Shave. I shower every day in my Fusion but now miss days.  The WC more functional and less a place to linger under hot water jets.  Now I shampoo and wash with Irish Spring soap. Then towel . 

Today I go straight to the prayer rug easing down to cross legged position, saying Our Father,  Prayerfs and meditation.  Today the Jesus prayer is centre. Other’s day the Sinner’s Prayer. Some days Om and amen.  Some days I am in the light and the circle is unbroken then there’s angels and Jacob’s ladder. More often than not there’s communion.  Daily decades.  Now I’m still asking for Jesus to come into my life guide me show me the way.  

What is my purpose today. How can Iservce God.  Show me.  

Gratitude. I’m thankful .  There was the time decades back when I was just angry, all the loses.  Now I don’t think of the negatives. I don’t suck on the tit of despair. I let it go.

The routine continues. Gettting up doing exercises.  Foundations and Dr. Goodman.  Tai chi.  I am counting to 5 .  A couple of weeks ago it was 2. It will be 10 or 20.  Every progress is rewarded with more flexibility and less pain each day.

The coffee is the great cal.  I put two scooped Ethiopian ground into the Breviot expresso machine, press the buttons, watch the lights to come one.  Then it’s into the WC to lay out pills. Baby aspirin to prevent strokes and as antiinflamation from joints, the AREDs eye vitamin formula. I was taking Ibuprofen but now I’m taking a Tumeric. I’m taking a break from NSAIDS because of the effects on Calcium .  They work really well for back pain. But I was up to 4 a day for the month and was taking a couple a day for a year.  I like to take a rest or change out. So the Tumeric is the change.  Each med has its side effects. I’ve even just use Naproxen for a month or so before going back to Ibuprofen. Tylenol doesn’t work that well for me but it helps pain.  I look forward to a chiropractic visit. I’m gaining back mobility. But I have to walk more and swim more. I planned a minimum of twice a week and made that last week. But I’d wanted 10,000 steps a day and only made 6000. The rain limits it. Even Madigan doesn’t want to go out in the downpour. We’re at two walks a day this week but normally it’s three or four in addition to the regular walks about doing things like errands. I get him to the dog park a couple of times a week too.

It’s routine.

Now I m having coffee with the milk and honey and will eat the yoghurt for probiotics and I like the taste.

I have a day of patients and must take pictures of the Jeep bumpers front and back so E&H hitch can prepare for adding the Blue Ox hitch. I talked to them yesterday and they have to order parts once they have the pictures. They need the Jeep for three days and then on the 4th day the technicician will go through the connecting the Motorhome to the Jeep so I can tow it.  That’s will be the completion of this major project. When I had a sailboat and was sailing offshore I’d have similar project each year, the adding of radar , the installation of communication arras etc. Now it’s the same for this land barge home.  I expect to be travelling and living here till I’m 80 at least .  I’d rather 90 even. I’m a ‘snowbird’. Traveling south in winter then returning in the spring. I would like to go to the island too and imagine travelling north to see my father’s family. 

I also imagine trips to Hotsprings for a week or two at a time continuing to work.  Harrison’s, Nakusp, Halcyon.  I’d like to get into fly fishing again and expect to continue grouse hunting in the fall.  

The first trip with the jeep I imagine is the Whistler RV park for the view and the breakfast sandwich. I’d like to take the jeep into the little town for coffee with Laura and the dog. Because Laura’s working we only have 3 or 4 days weekend windows but with the Thor I can see doing this. I want to plan a couple of week or more jaunts for longer out of the city. It’s breaks the routine. I’d like to find less expensive place to stay not because the rent is so high here, it’’s the going rate but I’d like to find ways to reduce my overall maintenance costs going forward.  I’ve 10 years to pay off the debts for this adventure.  I have the money in the bank but the bank has leant me the money and the accountant says it’s best this way. So I’m doing as I’m told though I was raised to ‘own’ yet the taxation in Canada is gouging and reactionary discouraging work and progress. 

The government concerns me with its globalists agenda and unscientific horror stories and justifications .  Horrendous spending and debt and ‘institutionalized backsheesh’.  I suppose I should be thankful purely that I’m okay today.  I really am. Gratitude is a much better state than resentment. I’m hopeful for a regime change just as I’m hopeful for the same in Iran. Israel and American have barricaded the Strait of Hormuz after Iran did the same so the world energy crisis is ongoing now.  Minesweepers are being brought in but in the meantime Europe and Asia are suffering while American and Scotland are selling their oil at twice the price to make up the loss. It’s 

a very strategic affair that appears to be mostly hurting the Communist Chinese NWO neocommunism take over of the world by the globalists and displace American.  The original players have all back out except Canada so it looks sadly like once again the elite are lining their pockets while the rest of us are paying dearly for their financial back room scheming.  I don’t want to have hot Communist Chinese on Canadian soil running the show. I trust America more than Ottawa and yesterday even looked into the work in Alberta.  They’ve remote positions and I’m considering getting a license there or in Arizona. I really do like my present situation and work but wonder if I’m unprepared for the future given the government direction. I said I’d not do well in a communist country and am concerned about censorship and the most recdent threat of demanding a half million to leave Canada.  It’s like Nazi Germany and Stalin Russia and I said the ‘smartest ones’ got out. Hundreds of thousands of the leading 1% have already left Canada.

It’s true or paranoia.  I’m thankful for today.  I like that I’m lightening up.  I have the storage locker to address still.  That’s a nemesis.  Old memories and now outdated office records.  A challenge.

I’m thankful for today and glad to be looking at going fishing soon.  I am truly blessed to have a dog, work and a body that is still mobile.  I have a meeting tonight.  Madigan and I will have our rotisserie chicken dinner after.  I’ve the Harley and the Jeep so can consider options. Cadillac problems. Truly a blessing.  

Jesus said ‘do not be afraid’.  I’m still anxious and lacking in faith. I must trust the Way.  Thank you Jesus. 

Rainy Burnaby, Clinic Tuesday

I slept well from 1030 to 430 am.  Woke. Peed. Went back to bed. Slept some more. Great little dog my companion. Lots of room on bed with Laura not here.  Not such a good thing.  Comfy with her beside me. Cozy. 

I was disappointed that Carney got a majority.  I really don’t like the globalism and beaurocratic and coruuptio.  I’m against communism but it seems to be gaining hold again. The religion of aetheism. Politics and power.  I fear communist china using Canada in the coming war between the Communists and the west. The WEF NWo is a world with Communist China number one. 

Meanwhile the war in Ukraine progresses with Russia on full time war footing and erupt responding the same.  NATO spending up with Trump pushing.  The Iran war continues with the Strait of Homuth blockade and extortion by Iran and now blockade by America in a classic siege scenario.  The world is screaming for energy and the US is giving it at a massive profit.  Without Iran, 20% of oil supply, pivoted to the US.  Meanwhile the Netzero, Green idiocy of UK and France and Canada, that globalist cabal lose money.

Canada could be the wealthiest but our federal government policies only serve China not Canada.

I’m feeling ‘economic insecurity’.  I’ve loans for the Thor and now the Willy. The money in the bank would cover it so I could ‘own’ them but right now I’m just paying the debts quickly and steadily I just find myself watching the numbers. I’ve sold off the cooper mini and the F350 and maybe the Honda 420 quad. I’m minimizing and making myself a nomad , lightening up. I may actually attack the storage locker one day.  I saw a box of books I can pass on.  That’s a next step.

Today I’ll book the installation of the Blue Ox hitch on the Jeep so I can tow it with the Thor motorhome.  I’m thinking I’ll get out to cheaper RV places this summer out of the high cost city. I’m fluctuating with thoughts of Alberta and the US then I think of going to the Sidney RV Park.  

I’m going downtown to the clinic today and am anxious about taking my car into the war zone that’s down there. I have anxiety and then I’m there and so enjoyed the people. I’d ride my Harley which is now out of storage but it’s raining.  I’m wondering about 2 wheel transportation too. 

I’m praying. The Orthodox Christian Church with the Bustards for the Baptism on the weekend was an uplifting Christian experience.

I deleted Facebook apt.  It’s been a year since I did that but I’m weary of the politics and don’t want to be faced with the ‘doom zooming’.  I want to be closer to God. I’m old and his home is my next destination while I’m here in his presence here.  I’m hopeful for less challenge.  My back pain and difficulty with balance and walking and my tremors bother me. 

I know I need to do more exercise but I’m primarily focused on things like driving my Motorhome from the south, seeing patients, getting the jeep and reducing the extraneous ‘stuff’.

It’s bear season and I don’t have any desire to hunt bear. I don’t particularly like the taste and I’m feeling too sympathetic to animals and trees and birds. I felt such sorrow when I shot the rabbit. I ate it fine.  It wass like killing fish with the bat . I felt everyone living and dying but I ate them.  I am sad and fear.  

there is love and fear, confidence and lack of confidence . Positive and negative.

I’ve been a mix but I’m moving away from the path I was on and looking for the new purpose and direction.  Last year I drove south and back then across country to see the nephews and great nephews and now there’s a great neice. I think of Wayne and consider driving north in the summer to visit Dads home.  

I miss sex.  The desire. It was a motivator when I was young.  I wonder about becoming a celibate monk like those days when I was a disciple of Paramahansa Yolanda. Vegetarian and meditating whole days.  Lots of exercising bicycling everywhere.  But I just lived to make love to all the gorgeous beautiful sensual sexy women through my life.  

I’m watching Friends and Neighbours - the guys and gals are in their fifties and they’re fucking like bunnies, the women initiating sex with the guys chasing money and having sons and daughters they need to put through college.  

I’m in a world of post menopausal women and men dying ten years earlier than the women worn out from carrying their burdens and the constant lack of appreciation.  The deep sense of betrayal when CBC every goes on and on about ‘toxic masculinity’ and I see men ruined by divorces to make lawyers rich, their wives aligning with these slick strangers in the greats family destrying scam.

I work to let go of resentments and remember the millions I lost but then that’s just the partisan deal. I wrote the script and couldn’t have stayed in the traps and faced jail time or drug addiction. So many men are damaged by providing and protecting.  And the women complain about sex like it’s worse that being shot at.  Meanwhile they celebrate the politicians who bring in the barbarians who rape and pillage while the citizens are disarmed and jailed for questioning the great replacement.  

We get pretty boy Trudeau and banker hustler Carney be cause the girls like them but as men we don’t get Pamela Anderson or Sidney Sweeney. I’d vote for Sidney Sweeney even if Cameron Diaz says she was hotter younger. Both are better than Taylor Swift who is always blaming men.  

I have been on social media too much. My mind is mush.

I want to know God and follow Gods will. I want to forgive and be forgiven. I want to know love and swim more.  There’s a pool a minute from me but I resist putting on a bathing suit and walking over. That’s the plan. That’s Godly. I’ve not walked the dog enough.  

I was glad to see Peter and Larry return with their Havanese Eva and Luka. We’ve walked with Madigan a couple of times since their return. I’ll get moving more. I’m delighted to be reading the Orthodox Church history and reading the latest pscychopharaamcology text. All the banking and transferring vehicles was distracting. I want to get healthy routines established .M ore prayer, more exercise. More kindness. More positive thinking.  More love.

Thank you Jesus for this day. Helpe me to focus on the positives. Help me to be optimistic despite the negatives of politics. I listened to George Straits I saw God today and loved the positivity. Listening to Amy Grant in the car singing Elshadai .  

Well time to get ready and go to work.  Thank you Jesus. 

BCRV, Thor, Sunday Morning, April 12, 2026

St. Constantine and Helen Greek Orthodox Church, HD Nightster Special, 

Thank you God for Laura and Madigan.  Thank you for family. Thank you for pictures of Maizy crawling. Thank you for the boys and of course the nephews and their wives. Thank you for may amazing siterinlaw Adell. Thank you for George and my men’s meeting. Thank you for Neil and Jack, Stan, and Marty, Terrence, Rocky, Paul, Dean, Manny, Mario, and all the others . Thank you that George is well.  Thank you for cake.

It’s been a busy weekend and weekend since returned a month ago for my trip south.  So much has happened .This Friday the challenge was to get my Harley from Vespa Metro and leave my Vespa for service and storage foe the summer. It’s as a steep learning to readjust to the 1000 cc from 300, more power and more bike, manual gears instead of automatic. I had to figure out where the lights were.  Trepidations.  Adjusting mirrors on the fly.  Power.  Vrooom.  Glad to be back on the Harley out on the freeway.

Then I had to deposit more taxes having visited with Anil my accountant the evening before.  I drove over in my 2024 Jeep Wrangler and am increasingly enjoying my Jeep. I had to take $25,000 of th $30,000 I got for the F350 and take it to thee Royal Bank to deposit on the loan I’d taken for the Jeep.  I’m in debt from the Thor and Wrangler but have enough money in the bank to pay for them if I needed too.  I don’t like debt but it’s not tax and such to pay outright. This is the recommended route even though the payments are high. I’m okay. I feel better and it felt good to pay down the loan. I’d not been in RBC in 30 years since my divorce.  That had been my old bank and brought back memories of financial betrayal and deceit.

I’m watching the TV series Friends and Neighbors where the rich stockbroker loses his job to dirty tricks.  Carney our PM is doing all such things with paying MP’s to crossover and the risk of the Communist Chinese controlling Canada increases every day. I’m speaking out against it and in favour of Pierre Poilevre on FaceBook and X social media.  There’s a new law against ‘hate’ on social media discussion. Increasing laws of censorship.  There’s all manner of political missmanagement with Canada plummeting in the ethics scales and increasing corruption with Carney’s wife celebrating the NWO in which China replaces America.  

Meanwhile the Israel US war on Iran whose terrorists proxies are Hezballa, Houthi and Hammas, continues.  Iran mined the Strait of Hormuz.  This has cut off 20% of oil going to China and Europe . There are fuel crisis in Ireland  When Venezuela regime changed Cuba lost its oil supply.  The war in Ukraine continues into the 5th year with increasing dependence on robot and drone technology.  Iran was making drones from Russia.  Iran ‘s industrial military and leadership have been wiped out. The mining of the strait has been the last leverage. Iran was ready to have a nuclear bomb but as terrorists would have eventually on their timeline extorted the west by taking over the Strait of Hormuz which it now has done, the US and Israel forcing their timeline and catching them off guard.  American and Israel military has proven itself the best in the great military arms bazaar so China and other countries have lost sails.  

The Artemis II circled the moon with 4 astronauts, one of them Canadian and one a woman.  They were in the Orion space ship and returned in the Integrity space capsule after 9 days. Laura and I watched it on tv.  Graeme and Adell and the nephews were wartching the return too.  

On Saturday the Bustard Family was at St. Constantine and Helen Greek Orthodox Church having three of the children, Alex, Willy and Bobby baptized and Kendra and Izak and Kevin and Anna Christified.  The Baptism was full immersion. The Christification wants an anointing by the priest as the orthodox does for those who are baptized but are joining the Orthodx church.  /we were honored to be there.  It was a long service but a wonderful Christian community. Anna feels at home and Kevin and the children are content there too. Great to see how much the kids have grown and the family finding a new church that so suits them. I remember how happy we all were together with St. James until the priest annd his wife and dogs left and the church changed.

I’ve been studying Orthodox Christianity listening to an audiobook on The Orthodox Church by Timothy War.  It’s been great driving in the car. I’ve also been reading the oriental Orthodox Church writings of the Ethiopian bible and have a history of Nicaea and the creed to enjoy next.  I gave Kevin and Anna some orthodox Bibles for the family 

For 

I continue to see patients veritually and go into the Dockside clinic every two weeks now. I even swam in the pool twice since I returned .I have to double le that and increase my walking.

The psychosomatic back pain persists and a couple of trips to Dr. Ready the chiropractor have definitely increased hope.  I am doing a little of the Foundation training but am typically strugglign with the pain and stiffness as I try to recover and heal. 

My aim is to complete the next task, taking the Jeep into Langley E&H to have the hitch installed so I can tow it behind the Thor.  They want it for 3 days and then I’m to pick it up with the motorhome.  They’re not open on the weekend.  It costs $8000 and I’ll have to use credit cards.  Victor is selling my Tracker 420 quad and trailer so that will help.  Once that’s done the reward will be a trip to Whistler RV park where I can enjoy the view from the Class A window and test the system so that from then on I’m fully mobile with just the Thor and Willy.  I keep thinking I could sell the HD or the Vespa but now that decision is on hold.  

I will be prepared for going south next fall. I sometimes think I’d like to take a trip to visit Wayne.  Then I also think I’d like a really stress quiet run till next fall, working, saving and doing maintenance.  I’ve done a lot.  This is a whole change a move away from hunting like a Ieft skiing and sailing.  Now I’ve minimalist and have only the storage locker to deal with. I’d like to get back to completing the books I’m working on.  This feels like the way to do that. I’ve not signed up for Chicago IDAA but am looking forward to St. Louis.

I have a desire to return to Ireland, also to go to Berlin, Vienna and Venice as well as east Europe.  St. Athos has been calling to me but all these calls have been rather faint. I’m more interested in lying in a lounge chair outside reading.  I’d like to go to Harrison Hot Springs with Thor and Willy.  Sunshine Valley will be easy with their pull throughs .With Willy I’ll be able to swing back to Hope and explore a logging road if need be.

I’m considering selling the 300 win mag and perhaps getting a Marlin Lever Action 3030 like Dad had and like I had before.  The government outlawed my Ruger 223 semi auto and now my Black Creek Siberian 223 but they have offered to buy back that for $1600. I’d like that. Everyone I know hopes the Carney overthrow will be blocked by Pierre Poilevre and the Globalist war will fail with America remaining in charge.  Then we wouldn’t have the communist fascist attack on the citizens on behalf of the criminals with citizens having their guns confiscated while all the criminals are armed.  In England the thugs are using machete.  The gun was the counter to the gang of bullies.  It’s frightening for me as I grow older and really am becomeing a bit ‘frail’ with the back weariness and pain.  Gangs of ex soldiers from the third world have been let into Canada as scab voters and for some duplitoouts Liberal reason , mainly disrupting the country to control the populace to install the digital surveillance and all the communist measures of China in Canada.  I’m suffering flashbacks to being attacked by gangs 10 to 1 in Churchill and Athens.  Then I’ve been remembering being held hostage by the Canadian Solider in emergency.  

That said I’m having wonderful dreams lying in bed with Laura and Madigan. I’ve been visited by family, dad and mom, aunt sally and Ron and the previous dogs and cats. I’m in the happy places in my dreams . the meeting places the conferences halls, the cabins and the trucks.  I wake up thankful.

Thank you Jesus. Life is good.  Laura and I danced last night here to Bayou.  Months go by without my dancing.  Yet once it was my life.  I move on.  When I see scuba diving on the tv I think of the years I dove daily.  Then there’s the sailing but the sea always looks a bit scaring. I watched the sea when Artemis II crew were getting out of the capsule. I’m not missing sailing. I like the land and my Thor Land Barge.  Today I’m looking forward to getting out on Harley but I have to take Willy to get the clean wash at 4 pm.  Madigan will need walking and Laura will need feeding. Meals are important here. We all participate.  When Laura is here it’s more formal .  We’ve had barbecued steak a couple fo times this last week, last night barbecued chops, a couple of days of deli quiche , a couple of days of soup and cold cut sandwiches, deli salads, a couple of orders of pizza , a Chinese take out and a White Spot burgers and fish and chips. Despite the doubling of the cost of food and living we’re still eating well, maybe small meat cuts, and little eating out, but no major change.  Laura prepared smoked ham for last Easter.  I hear of patients eating more rice but I’ve always had potatoes and perhaps eating more eggs. I liked seeing how health the god kids were and thinking how many bear they’ve shot to feed themselves . It show in their healthiness. Kendra and Izek have really stretched up. 

I am blessed.

Thank you God for this good life. Please protect me and my family and friends. Watch over us.  Keep Madigan healthy and protect Thor and Willy and Harley.  Help me to learn more as a healer and become closer and know you more deeply and truly.  Help me open my heat to you Lord Jesus.  I am a sinner come into my heart. Lord Jesus Christ Son of God Have Mercy on me.  

Thank you.  

Burnaby, Friday Morning,

God is good all of the time.

All is God. I imagine that I am created in the image of God , that I am in God’s imagination. All is God.  Creation. All that is present, All that is. God is omniscient, omnipotent, omnipotential. God is Love.  

I was reading Dan Brown’s Secret of Secrets , that consciousness is non local.  While the closest idea of God and ourselves is the computer.  There processing of the computer is childish compared to the brain or the galaxy.

A Nobel prize winner said that the climate model’s used to create the ‘religion’ of Netzero and the banker wet dream, a carbon based is foolish. He described the models as so infantile as to be like a 5 year old child’s drawing of a city and country side compared to a photograph or video or the thing itself.  I loved Phillips book, Your God is to Small.

So many of these WEF and UN and IPCC characters are arrogant ignorant aetheists. Even Hitchens as brilliant as he was fell before the vastness of creation. The expanding universe is like my own fascination with microscopes.  It’s all humbling. Humbling as God is.  We are co creators.  Of course there would be no God without a creator of God, as the idea but then there would be more important no us without the creator of us.  What is the sound of one hand clapping.

Direct awareness of God is seriously open minded. An agnostic isn’t aetheist but more theistic because of this humility. They are open to the direct awareness of God. I have known miracles before such that I find it more ‘reasonable’ to consider all a miracle and life a miracle.

My desire is to know God, to Grok God.

I’m a huge fan of Evelyn Underhill.  I like St. John of the Cross and St Theresa. 

Laura walked through dressed to take Madigan for their morning walks.  

I ordered several books on Amazon - mystics of the church by Evelyn Underhill, the The mystic theology of the eastern church and clinical neuopsychiatry 2025 .I bought the kindle edition.

I’m reading an Indian James Bond Thriller which is good but I’m only partly into it. Mumbai connect. It’s actually very well crafted. A CIA brother saving his journalist sister and a dirty bomb.  I supposed fiction isn’t as interesting as reality

The Israel American War on Iran continues into its second or third week. I don’t know about the premise of a nuclear bomb being made. It likely is but Israel has used that for years as a premise. More importantly Iran’s proxies Hexbolah, Hamas and youthi have all been getting worse. The Oct. 9 murderous terrorist attack on the beach music festival m Oct a couple of years back left 100 to 200 Israeli teens and young adults dead. The aid sent to Hammas wasn’t given to the people but used with build a military bunker tunnel system under and through Gaza. There is no ‘Palestine’.  Hammas and Palestine are one.  

So Isreal bombed Iran.  The US joined in. Then the France and Britain and several other NATO countries backed off with the few remaining Iran Guard military took control of the Strait of Hormouth with drones and fast tobacco boats and underwater bombs. The Ayatollah, a reall animal was killed and all the leaders. They’d massacred Iranian protests by the 50 tthousand. 

Maduro the Venezuelan narco terrorist was captured in Venezuela by US Marshalls and specials service military in Jan.  

Venezuela and Iran supplied Communist China with 20% of their oil.  Iran also supplied drones and military supply to Putin who is fighting Ukraine for the 3rd or 4th year with Canada giving 25 billion dollars in aid , 18 billion cash and the rest military supply. The later doesn’t raise concerns . It’s the 18 billion. Foreign Affair spending is ‘unaccountability money’ and the liberals are not unreasonable accused of corruption and money laundering

- suspicious  Canadian banks had to pay millions of dollars of fines for criminals funds - sounds like Florida during the cocaine cowboy days.  

- in the world corruption index Canada plummeted under the Liberals Trudeau and Carney from in the least 10 countries in the world for corruption to position 25 to 30 and still falling.

- Trudeau said he was giving gender and LBGQ funding to Muslims countries.  - they kill gays and beat women so naturally the money is considered to have gone to Trudeau and Carney friends in these countries

Maduro has admitted that they were involved in backdoor manipulations of voting machines.

Communist China has repeatedly interfered in our computers, CSIS and elections but he liberals while having several MPS literally installed by Communists China won’t do anything. The Electrion fraud has been exposed while in Canada here is increasing censorship and millions of unaccounted for money.

So Iran took control of Hormuth Strait and European NATO members are afraid to be involved in the war because of the dependence on energy from Muslim Countries.

King Charles has celebrated the Ramadan and sung the praises of the Quoran but refused to speak at Easter.

China is pissed.  Cuba is near to following with lights out gbecause Venezuela provided them oil . China has sent them a month care package but the Castro gangsters are on the verge of capitulateing to the US and freeing the people from Communist tyranny.

Meanwhile Carney is making a partnership with Communist China. He gave them our Gold and now has given them our lastest Goldmine and has against invited Communist China Military to deploy in Canada.  They were training here to the changrin of generals and now are here as ‘security’ for China investments.

I’m Communist phobic by new language that would have described the allies in WWII as Naziphobic. 

Cost of living is up and inflation is up and Carney is massively mismanaging the economy trying to make China No. # in the NWO.  Trump and the Republicans undermined this attempt to remove the American dollar and use Carbon Credits.  

I’ve loved that American has undermined China’s war plans for invasion of Taiwan.  I’d love to see Iran and Cuba under a different non communist , non sharia dictatorship rule.  I like that the Russia is no longer communist but another dictatorship.  I’ve seen so many refugees and known so many torture victims from communist and Muslim countries.

Communism is the principle religion of Aethesim.

I’ve been reading social media a few hours a day since return from the south. I am usually watching tv and reading so it’s not solely reading.  But I’ve become a bit addicted to the scrollings and responding to the liberals and communists.

I’ve reading Zuckerberg Facebooka and Elon Musk’;s X

Last night I saw Anil and completed my taxes for the year.

The big event was buying the 2024 Jeep Wagner and trading in my truck and Mini. I feel I’m missing ten thousand in the process. I found a label on the car for 10 thousand less than I paid.  I find myself thinking that anyone who hurts me seems to suffere horrible consequences.  I feel like I have a guardian angel and it’s the worst karma to hurt a practicing physician like myself. I continue to serve. But I really don’t know and my paranoid edge might go back to when ex wives were indeed lying and steal and doing coke and cucolding me and in work where the college falsely accused me and supported the enemy psychopaths and the judge that questioned me was found to be at fault so as always I was vindicated but a year or two late.  I have this thing with money when I don’t focus on it b it believe it I do god’s will and focus on god then the money will follow. Amazingly it does.  So I’m not terribly concerned.

I am excited that I have the jeep and I’ve done all the trade in and transfer of Trucks and Cars . Victor is selling the quad and trailer this week. I may ask him to sell my 300 win mag rifle. I’m downsizing and minimizing.  

I imagine soon I’ll have the Jeep with its hitch to pull behind the motorhome and I’ll be able to come and go around BC for the rest of the year.  Until this I’ve had to pay for my place here because I had two vehicles.  The jeep replaces my truck and mini and quad.  I’ve still got the Vespa and Harley and today I’ll take the Harley out of the shop and put the Vespa in for the summer.  I’ve money fromn the truck to add to the RBC loan.  

I’ve laundry to drop off and clean laundry to pick upo.

I’ve worked all this time and Laura has been here all week with Madigan and I. I actually have swum a couple of times since I returned. I only returned early march, a month ago, and so much has got done, including Madigan’s grooming, and Traveland repairing the slide on the Thor.  We attended St. 

 and enjoyed Shannon of Shiloh United’s Easter sermon. I’ve been studying Orthodoxy since the God kids have gone to the Orthodx Chruch since Jan and are getting baptized tomorrow. We’re invited.  

Today I’m about ready to head out to get the Harley .All the while I’ve been doing about 30 hours of work a week maintains the cash flow and helping the patients being of service, a cog in the wheel.  I like that I’m being of service.  I’m studying medicine till though my interest is spirituality. I’m attending Burnaby men’s groups and the western Canada physician group and Cyberdocs.  I do a lot but feel I’m not moving though I see all this and am thankful..

Really thank you God.  Thank you Jesus.  

 

Tuesday, Burnaby, Thor Hurricane

All shall be well, all manner of things shall be well.

I awoke early. I’d been dream of Wes Hazlitt from high school.  He was wearing a black turtle neck and tux. He’d been conducting a choir and was walking down among the audience. He only had the slightest limp and no crutches.  

I often dream these nights of heaven. I liked the book Proof of Heaven by the Harvard neurosurgeon described his journey in a coma and his family praying for him.  

There is a hidden strength within me to overcome all obstacles and temptations.  Paramahansa Yogananda

I thought of the three person God, the Triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  I’m reading the history of orthodoxy, Constantine and the eastern and oriental church.  The filioque was the ‘and the son’ addition when Holy See was Charlemagne.  The Latin Pope claimed to be Pope or Pateriarch of all but the East Patricarch in Constantine believed there were two equal leaders as when the empire split in two with two emperors.  The seven ecumenical counsels were the agreed laws and positions of the church . But the Latin pope began to act as the word of God and make statements without discussion and confirmation at the highest ‘council’.  The Eastern church was by contrast ruled by the word of councils. This is more like Judaism

So the filioque was not agreed or accepted by council.

There was God the father and God the son and the Holy Spirit and they all came from God the father Creator but the filioque believed the Holy Spirit came from God the father and God the son.  It’s a bit ticklish Very much a discussion of how many angels could be on the head of a needle. One suspects the holy fathers drank wine.

There’s an argument that the ‘visionary’ texts like Enoch and revelations were assisted by substances That doesn’t detract from the holiness. All is God.  All is God.

The Tibetan Book of the Dead believes reincarnation occurs as a community. A cast reincarnates till everyone has experienced both sides.

If the red slayer thinks he slaws or the slain thins he has slain they know not well the ways I keep and turn and toss again - Emerson

- god poem 

In Job God and the Devil and wagering together liked old friends.The devil was the first son.  His failing is humus or pride. Milton describes him as preferring to look at his shadow than to turn and face God where the light of God would consume him.  There a bit of Plato in the God and light on the wall.

This world is a ‘perceived’ matter. I may ‘grok’ it but more commonly I experience it at a delay through senses and synapses that have a finite amount of time for transmission. So I’m really experiencing ‘yesterday’.

Dan Brown’s book Secret of Secrets discusses non local consciousness. It’s a metaphor of computers and the cloud. The consciousness is non locals, stored in a ‘cloud’.  That modern tech for ‘God’ and all the ‘book’.  

The mystic would ‘know’ God .  Prayer and meditation and mysterical practices all attempt to have direct awareness of the present and bypassing the ego , memory and thinking , interpreting self.  

This morning I awoke and looked at Laura. She has the most awesome curves. She was lying on her side and her pyramid hip and leg curved in that unambiguous motherhood form. She had thin striped grey and white soft cotton pajamas making her look a little like a prisoner in some erotic heaven. Madigan the dog sat beside her. He is her canine baby .  I think he’s perhaps 5 years old in human terms though his 5 year old age would make him 35 in dog age.  His mental ages doesn’t match his growing age. Dogs live to be 20 at most and I long for him a long life.  Laura and I have known each other a quarter Century.  I feel maybe 17 or 25 or maybe even 35.  I met her when she was 4O with three children.  We’re both so much older now but always see her as that ‘sexy thing’ , the young woman.

In the song when I was 21 it was a very good year, and I see her as a girl in that song at a younger age.  

I’m struggling with a back injury . I have had many trauma’s to my spine.  A plane crass. A motorcycle crash.  A pitchpolloing crash in a Corolla through ditc h after a boat of an old car lost its control on black ice and took me off the side of the highway. Then there was the Chinese feellow who drove through the stop sign and hit me descending Burrard on my bicycle to see the Priest.  Then there was the original parallel bar injury in high school gymnastics. Then there was the carrying milk containers up moving docks to floatplanes. Then the wrestling of dangerously insane men in the asylum stopping them escaping or attacking nurses.  

There was this litany of unsung injuries. Each was often a week or days in bed. The car crashes were at most a couple of weeks in bed and off work.  The research says that the hose who had physical trauma in childhood had 10 times the pain and disability after an equally back injury as an adult. I was caned on the back of my thighs at school. My mother strapped my back as a teen.  The teachers and principles strapped me in school.  But that was the hand. 

This back injury was climbing Arthurs seat in Edinburgh. It wasn’t a high climb by any means. I’d climbed coastal mountains hunting deer in Pemberton. I’d hiked above the clouds with Madeleine the intrepid hiker who worked as the base camp doctor in the Himalayans.   The things I did to be with beautiful women. I was with Laura in Edinburgh and I remember I’d been there before with Baiba. On this occasion I’d heard of Arthur’s Seat from Henderson.  

My father had back pain as did my brother. My mother would give him massages at night when he was home from his work as an engineer supervising a hundred and fifty men installing conveyors systems in airports and grocery stores.  He had been in the war, The RCAF, working as a spitfire mechanic when he wasn’t assisting the bombadier on west coast flights.  He told me if Iwas ever in the military “never volunteer’.  All his life hee was closest to his veteran buddies.

As boys and as a family we would joke that dad’s back ache was worst on days of work but not on the weekends fishing. He loved to take mom camping where she’d sit in the tent and screened tent front reading and drinking tea while he told my brother and I on hikes along lakes or drive us in the boat to another lake. He never complained of his back ache then but during the week he’d often moan aand complain. Thinking back now it wasn’t that much really. It’s just hat after dinner he’d like to lie on the couch and watch tv and his back would sometimes be and excuse not to do more.  I am astonished thinking back to how he was always working, Probably his only time not ‘fixing’ things, building garages, building boats, pouring cement, fixing his cars, making skis and toboggans for his boys was that hour or so after meals when he’d watch the news or a hockey game with us lying in his easy boy chair. He’d read technician books but I remember him complaining of his back pain and judging him. 

I believe my pain is psychosomatic.  I don’t exercise enough. I’m overweight. I’m learning humility and forgiveness. I realize that I was a little shit as a teenager and so unkind and inconsiderate of my family from high school to my early twenties when I began hunting with him again.  My brother had children and they became grand parents. I was forever in school and in clinics and married to incredibly brilliant and beautiful women.  My turning my back on my family coincided with my love for wine and later smoking pot.

When years later I stopped drinking after a 10 year run or so, my mother said she was ‘glad to have her son back’.  Alcohol and ego were such.  My father in my eyes since then has grown in stature and I have realized what a mensch he was and how wise. I wish I’d paid more attention.

So now I’ve back pain and it will leave as I forgive myself and my father .  His father was a heavy handed rancher.I was in Scotland and later Aberdeen searching for roots of my father’s family, grandad. I imagine he walked on some of those streets in Edinburgh and Aberdeen. I could have acquired the back pain as a voice from my grandfather’s past. 

I certainly don’t agree with surgeons.  

Grandad would come to visit and Dad would enjoy taking him and his brothers out for dinner . Mom would put them up in our Winnipeg home for the few days they visited. I remember visitting Minetonas chasing his chickens and being put up on the back of a Clidesdale and impossibly high heigh. I remember another time shooting gophers in the cattle fields and later playing in town with cousins and even later completely overwhelmed by a day of bailing hay with my cousin.

We keep in touch with Wayne.  I still do.  There’s Donna too. I sometimes think the pain will god when I visit my father’s family.  

In the next weeks I’ll get e&H hitch to hook up my new Jeep to the back of my Thor Motorhome.I’d like to dive up there perhaps this summer.I’ve the fondest memories of fishing with my dad and riding horses when we were in Saskatchewan.  I’ve not been there or seen any of that side of the family since I was pre teen. My brother returned and visitting as an adult.  That’s certainly a consideration. 

I’m able to work and travel.  Everyone would love to see my dog. He’s a favourite even though he’s anxious uncertain and growls a lot to act tough when he’s often scared. Not at all a therapy dog. I worry about him.  

Time for a day of work and another coffee. Laura has arisen and has taken Madigan out for a walk.