Thor Hydraulic System and Life On the Lean

I am experiencing life on the lean an expression of sailing in tropical seas.  Today it’s the hydraulic jack system down and waiting for a new hydraulic motor. Nick from Traveland RV Mobile serviced who did a great job of fixing my slide came out and showed me how the jacks worked and how in a pinch I could bring them in manually.  He was a helpful when the slide didn’t come in. So much is elcetronic.  Right now there’s a slight lean forward but I’ve still got the slide out and I’m going to be able to make the Dam’s Ford appointment tomorrow.

It’s been a fine week. Laura was here Friday to Tuesday. Just good company and dog walking and swims in the pool.  I wass thankful on the weekend for my MD2 doctors recovery meeting on zoom Saturday morning then my chiropractic visit with Dr. Ready.  I missed church. My comment being I’m a summer pagan and winter Christian.  Despite the day of rain I enjoyed the sunny days walks about the park with Laura and Madigan. I also enjoyed riding the power assisted Trek Verve to the off leash dog parks and letting Madigan run free.  

I’ve had a lot of work and have been trying to keep up with the beaurocratic forms. A lot of disability forms and school forms.  The school year is starting in a month and these disability forms have to be in. I couldn’t book Carolyn and Ragina in at the office so they drop by at 630. Laura and Madigan headed into the bedroom while we all did the various school forms and disability accommodations for BCIT at the table. I was rewarded with a loaf of Carolyn, the little chef’s, incredible bread.  They were at Denman Island and I’m enjoying the Colour that the holiday week painting in the country brotugh to Regina’s paintings . I have a painting of hers and am grateful.

Laura left in her red smart car with Madigan barking his goodbyes and then Nick came and diagnosed the hydraulic problem I was so thankful it was electronic and not mechanical.  I ‘m praying instead of worrying which I fear manifests negatives but I’m still prone to catastrophizing about machines and repairs costs.  A long history of maintenance of the SV Giri so I could expedition on the ocean.  Now this Thor land barge is having it’s challenges but the vehicle is on warranty and each challenge has been discrete and addressed though the big slide problem solved over several days in the repair yards of Traveland was a trial.  I was able to work in their office in the day and stay in my home at night.  I feel like all of the demons are being expelled and look forward to some good road trips this year.

I’ve been hoping I can move out to the country by a lake for a couple of weeks and possible after the Friday Dam’s visit I’ll be able to look into what’s available.  I’m booked here till Sunday and will book another week so I can have a visit from the mobile service to have the pump replaced.  Today the propane guy is coming.  I’ll ask Merry Maids to come next week.  I feel busy.  Yet I’m muddling along.

It’s busy in the park.  Nick thinks it’s because of the wild fires in the north causing people to head south to camp.  Vernon has serious forest fires.  Years of ‘Climate Change’ lies and not addressed appropriately forest management or catching arson’s.  That’s begun again though Carney and the WEF have cut the forest fighting capacity while increasing the NWO agenda.  it’s infuriating to see all the money going to foreign affairs which is unaccountable and to causes which don’t align with my own concerns. I was upset that Carney celebrated Palestine when even Bill Clinton said they were just interested in killing Jews.  The Iran war continues and I keep hoping the regime falls so the Iranian people can be freed. I’d love the Ukraine war to end so that Russia is not pushed into the arms of Communiost China which is so belligerent. Their invasion of Taiwan was stopped by the attack on Venezuela and Iran curtailing oil supplies to China.  We are the richest of nations in natural resources but our government has tied up production and distribution with its own self serving policies for domestic votes.  I like that the Americans are standing up for their nation and against the globalism and tyranny and beurocratic Neo communism .

I read social media Facebook and X and catch some of the news but really don’t know what’s happening. My patients are collectively concerned about the inability to plan for the future and the high cost of living in Canada compared to other G7 nations.  The Islam immigration and failure of open borders continues to plague the west. I just can’t account for how it became a think. We have 2 million immigrants who have been rejected and are waiting to be deported but they can’t be found.  We’re only 40 million people I just keep feeling that if I was as inept as our federal government is costing as much as it does I’d be out of work. I’m mostly doing diagnosis and psychopharmacology so with the shortage of mental health resources and the need for appropriate medications I seem to be muddling through. I’m most pleased when some on gets off drugs and alcohol and turns their lives around.

I was pleased to be at peace enough to look up a tree, the sweet gum tree and a hedge, the white cedar hedge. I remember Scotty saying years back to get out of my head and ‘get a flower book and learn the names of flowers on the way to the meetings rather than rehashing resentments.” I did and I’m still curious about what’s outside and am thankful I regained that interest in biology I’d lost during my last divorce dealing wither her and the chaos then and all the nefarious behaviour.  It was such a terrible time and today I ‘m alive and blessed and still interested in biology.  

I was at my men’s meeting. Burnaby Fellowship and glad to see George. We gave him his cake and medallions last week and met his friend who won the intnerations awards for singing harmony.  I enjoyed seeing Neil and Dan.  Ward was there celebrating his 10 year  and I got a picture of George with his 50 yo of abstinence.

I’m thankful.  Really very grateful.  Thank you Jesus for all your blessings and your sacrifice.

Thank you God.!

BC Day, Monday,

Friday Laura came over. I’d stowed and closed up ready to take the Thor to Dam’s Ford for Service. The trouble was the jacks didn’t retract.  I called Traveland and tried to trouble shoot by phone without success.  Traveland Mobile RV service will be out Wednesday. I’m hoping it’s a fuse.  Regardless the Friday and the rest of the weekend were free so Laura could come earlier.  Madigan was so pleased.  

I barbecued steaks. 

On Saturday I made a trip to IKEA and was so impressed with all the store had to offer. I didn’t find the stick on mirror I’d hoped for but did find a very thin mirror I could use with the Velcro double sided fasteners.  With Laura’s help I mounted a mirror on the back door and really like it. I’ve another one the same which I don’t know how I’ll use. The big stand up mirror I’d had can now go to storage or be given away.  

At Canadian Tire they ahd a fruit mart so I shopped for nectarine and plumbs and cherries. 

I only received half my check. Garry has separated them in two in the past but I didn’t know this time if that was it because the cheque was so small. I was able to pay taxes but went into overdraft. The bank has inrreasing fees for these things and I’m just annoyed at the high taxes high cost of living and that I just seem to be living cheque to cheque.  I did buy a Trek bike and rack actatack rack but I ‘m selling the Vespa and that’s not concluded.  Then there’s the rifle the government buy back program targeted but I’ve never received the money from that.  So I had a day of feeling poor when I wasn’t and called the clinic that confirmed I had money coming. When it did I felt good but I’m not too spiritually awake as I want to achieve my goals without more stress considering all I’ve done is work and I see the government wasting money it’s taken so long and hard for me to acquire. Even now I still owe the bank money for my car and motorcoach home.  The fact is I’m very happy with my life now and grateful for all my blessings. It’s just that I relapse into catastrophizing and stinking thinking on occasion.  Such a little trigger and I’m back where I had no money for food and I’m paying off the debts my ex acccured.

Poor me- I’m so quick to slide into self pity. I’m really thankful for the tools of AA that has taught me to accept birds can shit on my head but that doesn’t mean I should let them make a nest in my hair.  Life is good. I have to resist the self pity pity parties.  I used to be so angry and sad whereas now I’m working on gratitude.

I enjoyed my zoom doctors recovery meeting and the visit after to the Chiropractoer. My back is so much better than it was and I’m able to walk fine.I even think of hunting in the fall again.  

Traveland this Wednesday and dams’ Friday and Jeep has a reccal so another appointment there.  Meanwhile the Merry Maids came last week and my home was so clean and inviting.  

Laura has been eating, showering, reading and walking the dog.  I’ve been joining her in reading and napping.  It’s been hot and sunny weather and since I cleaned the filters of the air conditioner I’ve had cool interior.  

I’ve focused on prayer and living in the day.  ODAT.  I’m taking eye vitamins and ibuprofen and asa and sotimes spironolactone.  Just like dad did I take vitamins and meds sometiemns psychologically.  It’s all psychosomatic.  I need to exercise more but I’ve ridden my Trek bike to the mall a couple of times already.  I’d like to be by a lake so I could swim each day.  I might yet get some time to do that but I’m enjoying Burnaby.  Laura is house sitting the next two weeks.  She calls coming to visit me from the city ‘going to the country’..  Burnaby is a suburb.  She drives over in her little Red Smart car.  Madigan is so happy our ‘gang’ enlarges.  I’m really relaxed with company.  This reading westerns and napping then eating and watching the Rookie Blue series, despite its occasional heavy handed political correctness is fun.  Rookie Blue is a soap opera of beautiful women and handsome men juxtaposed with police action.  As Laura says cops in general don’t look like that.  This is true for all of the illusion of television and escapism.  

Propaganda is rampant.  The Ukraine war is winding up.  There’s a shift to the right along with America and the open borders invasion is being stemmed in America and Europe.  Poland who never allowed it is a success.  

I’m just annoyed with the high costs of living in Canada but should be thankful for the health of my extended family and my dog.  Expectations are preformed resentments.  I’m blessed to be here on a holiday with Laura and Madigan.  I have a pool to go to but I resist it because it’s normally so busy in the summer.  I have a car I could drive to a dog friendly beach with but I’m lazy. I walk around the park with him so he has his daily poops .  Yet i have the Brunette Lake and Brunette River walks I could do more often. I did fast another day and I’m alive and thankful.  

I’ve been reading Mystics of the Church and am not driven know samadhi or nirvana. Perhaps the good is the enemy of the best. I’m paying my taxes, doing service and work. It was last week I gave George his 50 year cake and was honored to celebrate his success and inspiration.

I’ve missed church the last couple of weeks. I say I’m a summer pagan and a winter Christian. I’d rather be outdoors in the summer than in church it seems .  Much of the vehicle maintenance and work are for the 3 months winter expedition south . I’m aiming for that. I’ve got a hunt planned for a week beginning of October and head to Palm Spring early December. Laura is flying down to join me then it’s FOY and Algadones and Arizona.  Right now it’s perfect here and it’s a grand day but I’m sometime in the future not quilte living one day at the time in the presence of God.  At least I meditated today.  

Madigan has taken to wanting to play at night when Laura is here waking us then napping during the day.  First world problems with a crazy dog companion.

I enjoy seeing pictures of the nephews and great nephews and great neice as well as the God kids.  I’m in a bit of a mental spiritual limbo. Life is good and I’m muddling along, thankful 

We identified the Sweet Gum Tree with the Green seed gum balls (fruit) here in the park. I liked putting the picture in the Grok and asking for idenfitication.  I really do like AI of this kind and may again move to using my voice more to ask questions of identification of the plants and tress. I have apps for all these, like stars and flowers and birds but am too often in my head and not appreciating the wonders around me.  Walking Madigan with Laura I checked out the name of the Sweet Gum Tree even though I’ve passed it a hundred times.  Naming of things. I remember my first heart in recovery Archie recommended I stop thinking - I was in the past of fear and resentment going over and over the lies and betrayals at the time. I got a wild flower book and distracted myself. I regret that I struggle to remember all the naming I’ve done but it’s problem staving off dementia.  I loved being with my brother Ron walking in the woods with Dad as he would name plants and the foods of the native. I most remember him pointing out Rose Hip.  The gum tree fruit is used for wounds, diarrhea and as chewing gum.  That was a native use but it’s used for incense as as a soap ingredient.  The balls are used as decoration on festive occasions.  So much to know.  I’m going back to reading Louis L’Amour last treasure series.  

Travelland Mobile RV Service

I so appreciate Traveland Service. I bought my Thor Hurricane 29 Motorcoarch there and they’ve been so helpful.  On Friday I was about to take the Thor to Dams Ford for the engine maintenance.  However I decided to pull out an extra lawn chair to take with the other things I was putting in storage.  I didn’t notice then that I’d yanked on some wires as I did it.

In the morning when I was all set to leave for Ford the Slide didn’t come in. 

 I did the check list of things that are listed to check on the panel.  I had the brake set and the ignition on. I’d leveled the Thor when I set it up.  The C hassis battery said I had more power than need.  13.2 Volts.  Nothing. 

The fellow at service took me through the list and noted that the slide motors were not engaging. He then recommended I look underneath at the slide controller and see if the lights weren’t on. They weren’t.  He said he could send out his mobile service then because there was nothing more I could do with him on the phone.  

On my own later I looked at the slide controller unit and found some wires disconnected and firuged that was the problem but I wasn’t sure which wire connected where and didn’t want to wing it as the tech was coming anyway.  Dams rebooked my visit a week later and were gracious ‘these things happen.’

8 am Monday morning Nick Jansen this sharp young man arrived and greeted my dog who as usual thought the visit had come to play with him.   He was ready to have his little duck thrown for fetch and disappointed Nick and I proceeded through the checklist.  Nick checked the main power switch for the battery at the stairs.  He turned the ignition a couple of times.

He showed me that the panel had a host of information that I ‘d not known. There;’s a locked and un locked feature for the bunk, awning and slide.  

Under the slide in the last storage area he said, “Yes those wires should not be disconnected.”  He then reconnected them and tested the voltages and ensure the controller was powered.”  Then he proceeded through the original checklist but the slide remained locked.  The bunk and awning now had power though.  He checked the fuse box and showed me that the fuse for the awning was good still. Then he returned to the panel.

The power said 13.2 but he turned on the generator which in a minute brought the power up to 14.  

The little symbol for the slide ‘unlocked.’  He tested it and it now moved back and forth.  Bringing it all the way in he looked over his accomplishment and then put it all the way out checking it then on the outside.

What a feeling!!!

My slide was working. I’d learned a whole lot more about my Thor and I was free.  Nick tidied up and threw the duck for Madigan who was just pleased we were focussed on the priority. Fun.

Thanks to Nick and Traveland I was agin mobile.  Before leaving he used ties to ensure the wires from the controller were secured along the wall and not at risk of being caught when I was pulling things out of storage.  

I was very thankful and so appreciative of Nick’s technician training and knowledge. He told me a couple of more things “I learned at school’ about electrocinics, maintenance and prevention. God tips.  

He was gone just after 9 and I was able to get to my work thiankful I had learned so much and this had happened here in Burnaby near Langly, Traveland’s base. 

 

Trek Bicycles, Burnaby

I had the rack for a bicycle.  I followed Jerry from Rack Attack’s advise and phoned Trek. My first mountain bike had been a Trek which I left when I bought my Harley from Trev Deely.  

I phoned Trek and spoke to Jack who was really knowledgeable and helpful.  I told him I want’ an e bike for city and trail that had a rack from my 20 lb cockapoo and would bit on the new behind my jeep Rack Attack bike rack.  

“We have a couple of bike’s here. The Verve who saw is in stock and there’s are sever others that would work.  When you can come in we can let you take a test ride to see what works for you.

I’d thought maybe I’d wait a week or two. I didn’t need a bike immediately but the store opened at 10 am and I was there just as it opened.  

Jack was great in person and the store was really dog friendly. He liked Madigan my cockapoo and saw the Harley box he rode in.  

“No problem, it will fit on our bike racks. I’ve a black lab and I tow him behind me in a trailer.” Jack said.

I really liked the Vercve right off. He showed me a Borrego mountain bike with really fat tires which I would have liked for bow hunting. Years before I tried a mountain bike which had worked well for travelling in the wood quietly but I went back to a quad because it freed me up to look about more and carry game home. I saw myself using the bike mostly for trips to the mall, trips to the dog park and riding  on trails.  I travel with my Thor motorhome and carried my Vespa 300 tech on a rack on the back. It worked really well until I was in LA. The 12 lane free way was too much for me on the Vespa. I’d ridden my Harley Electroglyde on American freeways but that’s what the Harley is made for. Now I had the Jeep Wrangler and just wanted a bicycle for exercise and quick trips. 

Thankfully all the bikes were built for a heavy load, more than Madigan and I together.  

It was great to be back on a bicycle.  The Trek low ride Verve 34 was perfect for me. It was really easy riding and the Bosch e bike electronics were the best. Such an advance in a few years over my original e-bikes.  It fit well on the rack.  Jack and the delightful service tech showed me how to manage that. I paid and they had it all together waiting an hour later.  Madigan and I had gone for burgers at Wendy’s.  

I had  added the saddle bags remembering how important our had been when we bicycle camped  across Europe in the early 70’s.  I also had a new yellow green helmet with red back light and a mount for a Go Pro.  

Now i look for ward to adding some go pro footage of me bicycling to add to the quad and Harley footage I’ve already taken. It’s just that the design has come so far they think of that. 

Amazing.

I thanked Jack and the service tech and drove home.  

Just like the Rack Attack stop I was in and out of Trek in a couple of hours.  Efficient and just an all round good shopping experience.  

Normally shopping tires me out when I arrived home and unloaded the Verve 3 and parked the Jeep I was ready to take a ride to the mall for mail.  The power pedal assist worked great on the flat and low hillls between here and there but I had to walk the bike up the steep hill on the way back because I wasn’t in gear and was carrying a lot of groceries. The Bosch tells me to lower gear and I have to do that or I’ll be caught like I was stopped and having to walk the bike up the last 20 feet.  Basch actually has a ‘walking assist function’.  It goes for low power assist called ‘eco’ to the high power assist called ‘turbo’ I think.  I was amazed I could do it and see that with practice I’ll lose weight as well and my knee I’d torn the ligament it tolerated the whole experience well. Now I’ve a new vehicle for the mall trips.  Next up will be taking Madigan for to the dog walk park.  

I saw a review from a guy in his 70’s who really loved his Trek Vervc. Older I appreciated the consideration and the positive attitude of the Trek folk. 

Thank you Trek. What fun!!!

 

Rack Attack, Coquitlam

I mentioned to my colleague Dr. G. Horvath who cycles back and forth to Squamish on the sea to sky that I planned to buy an E-bike but that I had to get a rack firsr that would work with my Thor Motorcoach and the Jeep Wagner I tow behind it.

“Rack Attack” he said, “That’s the best place to get a bicycle rack.’  

He would know so I called Rack Attack Coquitlam on Blue Mountain Streeet by #1 near the IKEA store. Ipoke with Jerry.  We discussed my concerns over the phone. I was impressed with his knowledge and choices.

Next day I drove into their shop. I had my jeep.  I told him I didn’t want to be lifting onto the roof . I showed him a picture of  the 29 foot Thor Hurricane with the Excalibur hitch attach between it and the Jeep Wagner that H&E hitch had installed.

“It could got above the hitch but I think it would be best behind the Jeep.” Jerry said. He was looking through the computer at the various combinations.

“I didn’t want to lose the use of the back gate as that’s’ where I put my shopping especially weekly groceries.”I said,

He showed me a couple of swing hitches which would open with the opening of the gate.

Definitely skookum.

The carrier itself was state of the art. I could see what my colleague Gary liked them. He has bicycles that cost as much as my motorcycles so he really wants something safe and sturdy.

Jerry had the swing bar and carrier in stock

I paid the few thousand for the set up.  

It really wasn’t that much more than the carrier I’d had for my motorcycles but this was really well made by comparison.

They did the installation in the back giving me time to take Madigan for a half hour walk in the nearby park.

When I saw it on the jeep it was perfect.  Everything had a lock too.  

Madigan liked it and I could see he want to pee on it to make it his.

“You can’t do that in the garage. You’ll have to wait till we’re parked in our parking lot.”

Given I really like my Jeep I was thankful this rack didn’t detract from the appearance. Vanity. While I was there a very sporty young lady drove in with her new Range Rover and had a 4 bike bike rack at the rear of her car.  I felt i was definitely in the healthy athletic set and tried to pull in my gut.  

“Where would you recommend I get an e bike around here, I’ve had several but the last one was a company that went out of business and the battery couldn’t be replaced. I’d like something where that wouldn’t happen.”I asked

“I’d try Trek Burnaby or Citi-bikes. They sell the most dependable stocks that have been around for years.”  

I really thank Jerry at Rack Attack and made a plan to make my next stop Trekj. 

 

Burnaby Journal, Monday , July 20, 2026

I took my Jeep into Journey Jeep.  It was my 4th visit since the little dashboard light came on saying the Circle A with exclamation mark was not happy.  There was a recall part install first then a new battery and then another little battery replaced and finally the door electronics were reviewed a second time. The problem in the end was the car sensing when the door closed and opened. I’m just thankful not to see the warning light.  It’s very positive.

Then the really big event was Madigan’s grooming. I had to give him Trazodone and Gabapentin at night and then in the morning.  I can only get him to take pills with vanilla ice cream.  I’m anxious when he’s at Dr. Biernecki North Shore Vets but that’s only because I’m anxious about anaeszthesia.  Every time he gets groomed he does well. Laura had come over a day early so was there Thursday afternoon when we picked him up. He was more growly than usual and acted a bit stoned that evening.  Friday morning he was well.  They said he was a little overweight.  Me too.  The stout crew. 

Laura likes to eat and rest and read and watch tv . So that’s what we did  I barbecued steak and made a bacon sandwiches and ham cold cut sandwiches. We had the chilli I’d made and frozen and I even made and omelette.  WE had a burger I barbecued on white bread.  We didn’t get out o White Spors or order in Me & Eds Just an at home weekend I did some work but not much..   

I finished reading a Louis L’Amour western and China Gordon biography.  We watched the new Rookie Series in the even.  We walked Madigan and celebrated when he pooped.  We talked with Mack and Shane, Helena, and Ernest.  Not very social and superficially so.. I did the Saturday doctor recovery zoom meeting.  I swam a couple of times and sat for a bit in the hot tub.

Not too busy. Not too shabby.  

There’s so much I could have done.  I’ve the storage locker to reduce.  I’ve an e bike and swing hitch I need to find .  I was paid so was able to manage the bank and pay the Tax Free and credit cards.  

I carried on.

I read and slept.

I was comfortable in family, Madigan Laura and I.  

The wars continue in Iran and Ukraine.

The big event this week is taking the Thor to the Ford for maintenance.  All is well except the forward HVAC has not worked since I bought it.  They didn’t have a part and said hat the part was no longer available.  It’s only a few years old but the generator and Thor A/C will work alternatively .  I sometimes think it may need to be fixed in Yuma.  For me to take in the Thor I have to stow and bring in the slide.  II stuggle with that a bit. Like weighing anchor and docking.  It’s a challenge but I’m gettin better at it.  

Now I’ve had a coffee but feel like a nap.  Laura left this morning so Madigan and I were up at 530 and saw her off at 6 am We are blessed by her visits.  So kind.

I still don’t know what I’m going to do when I grow up.  This years big challenge was to add the hitch and Jeep to the Thor. The test will be the drive south this Winter.  It’s a long haul. Laura is jointing me at Palm Springs and there’s FOY Bombay Beach and Algadones and Yuma. I’m looking forward to having the jeep with me.  

I’ve felt the outsider again and realize that the most distinguishing feature is lack of children.  Raising children has been the primary activity besides work of most I know.  

Thank you God for this day. Thank you for this weekend. Thank you for Madigan and Laura, my family and friends, my work and patients and associates . Help me to be of service. 

Thank you for George. He takes his 50 year cake in a couple of days.  Thank you for Sobriety, AA and the church. Thank you for educations and learning.  

Thank you Jesus.  

Burnaby Journal, July 18,2026

I had a dream where I was an outsider.  I didn’t belong but I wanted to be accepted. There was a Lord of the Manor and his close friends.  He liked my dog and we talked of dogs and clothing for a bit.  People came and went in small groups.  I was alone. It was an English setting.  

I remember my friend in England saying they traced their family and power back hundreds of years.  He’d asked if my family like ‘antiques’ and I’d said my mother liked ‘old’ Canadian furniture. How old. A hundred years I’d said,  My mother likes Roman and pre Roman furniture. He told me we were sitting on a seat two thousand years old.  I remember they haa a horse in the back yard.  He’d introduced me to the Queen’s sister the day before with her Captain. They’d been at the local riding club.  

In other dreams I’m in a great house of light m like the Green Island of Sat….something.  IN this house it seemed a part of the old mansion connected somehow to the cathedral. I’d visited the castles of my relatives in Scotland and the farms of my relatives in Ireland.  

My brother and sister in law in Ottawa were very concerned with status.  I hadn’t thought of it much growing up except we lived on North Drive and the rich with bigger houses and bigger cars and back yards opening onto the river .  When my brother took over my parents estate when my father and mother grew too old to manage his affairs he was angry at how wealthy they were because my parents had been very discrete.  

I’d asked my dad once why he didn’t buy a new car like our neighbor, the chemist. He’d responded , I own all I have. I own my house and all else.  I expect the banks own all our neighbours possessions like I know that new car was bought on credit,  

Dad was a master of living within his means and saving.

He was a mechanic and engineer and fixed everything himself with rare exception.  He hunted and fished.  Mom gardened and preserved.  Looking back we were raised well attending the finest of public schools participating in all the sports we desired, having music lessons and travelling across the country by train and to visit family in Toronto and northern Canada. 

When my grandfather died we found that the lawyer who managed the estate in the small town along with the other small town farmers estates had absconded with the millions my grandfather had saved from his ranching and logging business. He’d arrived as a Scottish immigrant whose family had been farmers and loggers and fishermen in Scotland.  He became the Reeve of the county.  My dad his oldest son described him as very hard.  Still my grandfather came to visit us each year in the south along with the younger brothers.  My father only had 2 sons with my first grandmother I never met.  My father never liked his brother when we were younger because his mother died giving birth to him.  Years later they because closer partly beause my father liked his son as well as us.  Dad had one full brother and 4 step brothers. His step sister died. Mom liked our cousins too.  We visited the north too.  I was old enough to shoot gophers with my 22.  I’d chase chickens and upset my grandfather. “Chasing my chickens will make the meat tough”.  He’d put me high up on the Clydesdales and I could see all over.

My grandad’s grand farmhouse was very large with many rooms but very little furniture and few pictures on the wall.  I think it made it easier for my step grandmother to clean.  My grandfather didn’t believe in ‘frills’ and the farm house seemed always like a house but never like a home My mother quilted and crocheted and had a picture of the ‘Blueboy’ in the sun room where she keep flowers and plants all year.s She especially liked her Christmas cactus which bloomed each year at Christmas.  I grew up in a home my father and mother made.  

I don’t feel an outsider when i was in the Greek conference centre where al lathe young people dressed in light clothing mulled about like I was at a medical conference.

There’s a medical conference going on this week.  IDAA in Chicago.  I’ve always felt a part of there even though I know there’s a hierarchy.  When I was in London the people I knew all knew and felt the hierarchy but I was outside of the restrictions in a different category. 

“You’re a colonial’” the old Scot liked to tell me.  I’m a Scot and not as much of an outsider as the Irish.  Colonials are just thought to be passing through and are treated better for a short while because no one wants to offend the folks who bring in all the money we have.  You’re what makes us an empire.:

I’d been comfortable to be kicked out of high school and to land a job as a carpenter.  I felt comfortable there and think my life may have been quite different and alright if I’dstayed as chiropractor.  My mother wanted me to go to university.  She was concerned bout hierarchy. My uncle , her brother in law.was a dentist and her older sister lorded it over her that her husband was a doctor.  

I liked becoming a doctor.  I felt when I became an MD I was finally a member of a secret society. The felllowship and more advanced degrees including the American MD didn’t add to that sense of being part of something.  I’ver never regretted the MD and loved the training and experiences . I most loved being a country gp but my wife was interested in the hieararchy of the city and wanted to stay with her mother who considered her self superior to her neighbours because she had a nursing degree.  University education made me an ‘officer’ according to the civil/military ‘service’ model of hierarchy.  

I liked most training as a surgeon but the government administration class were such ignorant bullies and a terrible gang of white collar thugs . They controlled the access to the beds and the very best surgeons were always struggling to get opoerating time and space. It was terrible to see, all the politics and the corruption. Government resources were ‘largesse’.  Einstein might not get a lab because the distant cousin had more ‘political pull’.  There were tribes and power and money that was dirty or clean defined that space. I believed in meritocracy and just wanted to save lives. I didn’t’ decide. I was very angry when doctors in Muslim countries were jailed for treating prisoners. I wanted to be a missionary doctor. I was raised Christian and a member of the Baptist church and mystical and spiritual as a teen and early 20’s when i became more and more involved in meditation and Easter religions. 

My mother’s father was university educated. I think he was a banker. In Ireland we learned his brother was a local famous geologists.  My other family from my mother’s side in Glasgow were professors and journalists and great artists.  I met them and loved the laughter in the home because my home more a serious affair and these aunts and uncles were all close family and best of friends.  Even now i think back to the ancient brothers and sisters with everyone talking and story telling hilarity.  I was invited into the queen’s home with my aunt in Edinborough but didn’t register it as I was a self absorbed intellectual in the day all intent on my reading and writing. 

I’m 29 years sober and I like my life today.  I’ve an online meeting with doctors I’ve to attend today.  I have other dreams which are mostly in mountain and valley hunting or in the sailboats at harbour in the sea.  Now I’m sitting in the Thor motorhome.  My girlfriend of many years is sleeping in the bedroom with my little dog who had his hair cut yesterday and looks very dapper today.  I pray each day to know God more truly and to know his will and have the energy and power to carry that out each day.  The next big event in my life is being at my friends 50 year sober “cake’ next Wednesday.  Then Friday I’m taking the motorhome with its Ford motor in for engine maintenance.  I had the Jeep in and the error light on the dashboard was finally ‘fixed’ Thursday and Madigan had his hair cut Friday.  Laura got away early and came Thursday.  I’m very thankful and blessed today.  

Thank you Jesus.