tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21423273416089987112024-03-17T19:59:57.983-07:00William Hay, WriterWilliam Hay, winner of 3 Kenneth R. Wilson Writing Awards and Folio Award, Canadian Author Association member,author of Caesarean Section and Love Between the Sacred and Profane poetry books, and Psychiatry and Addiction, Personal Perspective book, magazine short story and prose columnist.haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.comBlogger4104125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-82764592457126487012024-03-17T13:30:00.001-07:002024-03-17T13:33:00.926-07:00St. Barnabus ChurchIt was a close call whether I’d get to church this morning. I slept in. After the first coffee I’d thought I’d have to get dressed in a hurry. I did. Madigan needed a walk anyway. Once dressed all is possible. <div>I actually was amazed as we arrived almost on time the service just beginning. It was March 17 St. Patrick’s day. I had my green flannel shirt and my Irish rag vest I’d bought in Dublin. </div><div>Priest Emily gave a wonderful sermon on rebirth and resurrection in the preparation for Lent. With the help of a child from the congregation she showed how what appeared dead in nature, seeds, came to life in Spring. I enjoyed seeing the daffodils near my place were in bloom. Madigan was glad to see his friend Fritz. Bill was there and Patty kept the singing alive. We are blessed with accomplished pianists. </div><div>I enjoyed the coffee after church. I talked with June again whose conversation and wisdom I’ve so enjoyed. I met Jill and talked with Margaret who is such an amusing raconteur. It was good to see Bill. He was in spring clothes and not dressed for official capacity. I liked the coffee. So often I have enjoyed the coffee meeting after the meeting. People are so interesting and those in our church so diverse and amazing. Lovely people. </div><div><img id="id_2417_f05e_cc68_9d10" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1eBQ97RNIt8St08XHjv6JDhGUI9y3Jmhm" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_1a55_422a_d24b_add2" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1BfFSb0Ax0I51P5Yry6ZBaSdW-RDXKOsT" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-1486415903360265292024-03-17T13:19:00.001-07:002024-03-17T13:19:27.412-07:00Squamish Spring Motorcycle Ride, Sea to sky highwayFriday was fantastic. I rode my motorcycle, the new HG Nightster Special, with Madigan in his box on bag, head up, to Horseshoe Bay. I’d done this ride so many times in past years. I used to motorcycle to White Cliff meeting where I’d also scuba dived in the sea below many times. Now I just loved passing Cyprus Mountain entrance with fond memories of chilli after snowshoeing up to the Cypress Mountain Hollyburn Lodge with Laura one year. The views were incredible of English Bay with the tankers at anchor. All around snow capped mountains and the distinctive lions.<div><br></div><div>Madigan was a bit chilled by the ride despite his sweater so was glad to get off and walk. Horseshoe Bay Ferry was just leaving and seagulls were everywhere. I had fond memories of coming here for birthday celebrations with George. Also memories of Archie and friends. Such great nights as well as all the fish and chips dinners at Trolls. I walked Madigan on the shore so he could get off leash and enjoy the sunshine and freedom. </div><div><br></div><div>Rogina arrived on her motorcycle and recognised me with Madigan. I suggested Trolls so we had take out Halibut and fries with their amazing clam chowder. It was great to meet up with another biker and talk rides. Rogina loves the Horseshoe Bay ride as a break from her art studio where she paints and sculpts all day. I just loved being in the sun and warm loving being by the sea remembering the times I docked the SV GIRI here.</div><div><br></div><div>The ride back to Vancouver through West Vancouver and the serpentine trail was a delight. I ‘d ridden my first Aprilia on that road, the leather the Buell Blast and Harley’s. More memories , more nostalagia</div><div><br></div><div>I loved passing where George and I had monthly ‘sole food’. Rogina separated at Taylor way while I headed through North Vancouver to struggle with the traffic before the bridge. Glad to be past there I had a pleasant ride out to Burnaby and home. What a great day. </div><div><br></div><div>Rogina said she and Carolyn were planning a ride to Squamish next day. I’d not done that since before covid.</div><div><br></div><div>I had a chiropracter apt with Dr. Ready at Klein chiropractic. After that relief I was glad for a nap. </div><div><br></div><div>It was 1 pm when Madigan and I headed out on the Harley figuring we could at least get to Britannia. He was gung ho to ride. He jumps up on the seat and tries to climb into his box while I’d lashing it to the bike. A mother perfect day for a ride with glorious sunshine and blue sky. I couldn’t help but think of George Harrison’s Here comes the sun as we headed up the spectacular Sea to Sky Highway.</div><div><br></div><div>I stopped at Britannia so Madigan could have a piddle. I’d doubled his sweaters and he seemed to be warm enough. Sure enough after a quick piddle he had jumped up on the seat and was waiting for me to chauffeur. </div><div><br></div><div>Next stop Squamish!! Sure enough the congregation of bikers was meeting at the Starbucks. Dozens with all manner of ride. I remember my first time here on the Buell and then later with the Roadster when I’d take the circle route through Pemberton to Lliloouet. Carolyn and Rogina were there with a table of bikers. They had to buy a battery for one of their bikers like I’d needed to buy a battery for my key fob. The alarm had gone off until I drove to London Drugs and return with a little 3 volt battery. $6. Meanwhile their motorcycle battery cost more than $200. Madigan was everyone’s favourite puppy. A joke fest was going on with Hilton remembering jokes I’d not heard since I was 8 year old. All the now banned material. </div><div><br></div><div>How can teen jokes today? I thought given the rise of censorship in Canada .The joke fest took me back to nights on call in the north listening to bush pilots and nurses. Humor is considered the highest of developmental coping like altruism but our government is so far removed from reality it doesn’t get the joke. The nurse and pilots and soldiers did of course. Here were bikers and the laughter was infectious. I admit I thought a couple of times, no more, that speeding beside a cliff on my Harley wouldn’t be a good place to have the onset of senility or a stroke. Better to laugh and live.</div><div><br></div><div>Riding down the mountain was fun as a group. Reminded me of the HOG and poker runs to a whole lot of bikes. There were the three of us with lots more passing us. Seeing the ocean I thought of all the times I sailed the Giri up the arm and looked up at the cars and bikes. Here I was now looking down at the ferry and fishing boats. Perspective. I just love the sea to sky highway and the motorcycling was at it’s finest. </div><div><br></div><div>Carolyn and Rogina peeled off to cross their bridge and I continued west. More traffic but eventually home in Burnaby. What a great day.!!! What great people!!! My HD was a great bike. This winter I’d ridden it in Arizona desserts enjoying cactus and speed but now I’d enjoyed its excellent climbing and turning capabilities. British Columbia is god’s country. I realized again in Southern California what a beautiful city Vancouver was with so many great activities so close. Covid had really thrown a monkey wench into the works. I’d really not participated in the city since then and felt glad I was getting out. This ride had been an almost annual event before Covid and I was so glad to have done it again. Next it will be the Tulip festival. </div><div><br></div><div>Madigan loves the motorcycle rides to so a great companion and fun to meet up with other bikers for a coffee on a sunny day. </div><img id="id_e09a_dd18_a7d6_3468" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1PIQgZowBRD-_mt8hHC191r8ZMN91ATJ9" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 198px; height: auto;"><div><img id="id_9184_6017_cff2_7846" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1a_Bn9JfZvLfZG78PF416NNr_kj7tpj54" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 194px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_618_2a02_615e_7761" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/14xMyE7v6MFRSkVNNKN_ZVW4-Qu3JSBVH" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 208px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_b673_58ba_b2ce_7c4c" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/11gVqgTKCAxEB2axR2_TAy1U1Zb3xjEi6" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 205px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_e46b_7f73_93a6_5c12" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1Oj_mEpsFmtszGOHGOKkVPp1uFH6hFjuV" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 214px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_d99d_25e5_7540_619f" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1k49XoUYQ1VjGTZanvHrkYI340MqFt954" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 209px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_f99c_80c1_8a34_8e32" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1YUHbJUKHWGBsdCihKVAXgBmv3HnxxPmO" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 200px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><br></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><br><div><br></div><div><br></div><div> </div></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-82169760330062941422024-03-13T08:24:00.001-07:002024-03-13T08:24:27.217-07:00Wednesday Gratitude Thank you Lord for Wednesday. I dreamed I was preparing for a space flight alone in a little space ship and my mentor gave me a harpsichord. I was with a the girl saying good bye and I was worried my back would hurt and if I’d have enough space to exercise for the year. It was like I was preparing for a 9 month journey. Between trips. Anxious about the loneliness.<div><br></div><div>Then I read the Einstein quote about cold and darkness not being real but just the absence of heat and light. Like evil, as the absence of God. I am he, I am He, Blessed Spirit I am he. Lord Jesus Christ Son of God Have mercy on me. I’m in God and God is in me and all is God. I love spirituality of imperfection by Kurtz and Ketcham and your God is too small by Phillips</div><div><br></div><div>I remember often the beautiful women who shared life with me beginning with my mother, grandmother and aunt. They brought flowers inside and appreciated beauty bringing attention to art and music when I might otherwise have walked by.</div><div><br></div><div>Spaceship earth.</div><div><br></div><div>Spaceship self.</div><div><br></div><div>I worked hard a couple of days, busy, full days and the sense of accomplishment that comes from participation. I’m am thankful to be awake this morning. I’m thankful to have this little dog as a companion. He is waiting impatiently for our morning walk. I’ve work beginning in 45 minutes and that walk is calling now.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you for this body and mobility Lord. Thank you for this day. Thank you for the Impossible Dream and the writing this morning encouraging the focus on possible dreams. I was thankful to be taken back to that time in the choir with Danny and Kirk singing Impossible Dream for the completion of high school. I was being disruptive and Danny was really enjoying the singing. We were being loud and the teacher asked us to mouth the words when we’d not sing softly. She wanted to hear Danny. We’ve enjoyed listening to Danny all these years. I’m still being a jokester at times but am thankful that I can sing softly today and silently in my mind where the music is ethereal. I want to hum along and sometimes sit with the gods around campfires and do just that.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice. Thank you God for creation .Thank you Holy Spirit. </div><div><img id="id_43b9_4dff_e7e0_72f5" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1GPsjTKaWOHgjvqUfeadm16bndK3N2p3_" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 298px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_4cc4_39b6_8dd3_5504" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1Qjuhe1AoyVYBglJp1DzvPf9JEweXgQt7" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 207px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div><div><img id="id_c328_eb4_51ca_2d48" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1MYPGXUD4C0qhrBOkwvtjbPjRCyvBXDus" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 251px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div><div><img id="id_dcb8_ce5a_ea12_b1b3" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1jWGNvNoIfhPbbaAZAc5D0Ax5KApccyj1" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 233px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-54773170454374505452024-03-10T08:12:00.001-07:002024-03-10T08:42:29.871-07:00Daylight savingsI went to bed last night after a movie and an episode of NCIS. Jethro was working on his boat in his basement. I remembered dad making a boat in the garage. I’m trying to sell my boat since age and back pain and weakness since my fall in Scotland have discouraged me from hopes of sailing with my brother or taking the inside passage to the Caribbean in preparation for an Atlantic crossing to the Mediterranean. It’s hard to believe Ron passed so many, so few years ago. My friends George and John died . Then Vivian in Covid. I bought sage to smudge this place after it’s time in storage. That brought back thoughts of her. The world’s a lonelier place. I’ve actually enjoyed my camper truck motorcycle land yacht and am even considering this beast as a nomad’s castle. I’ve plans of visiting Hay Bay this summer. I haven’t seen the nephews or the great nephews. I feel so alien in contrast to their normalcy. Adell is in pickleball tournaments and Alen and Megan are saving for a house.<div><br></div><div>I’ve signed up for a new course and now wonder about the timing. It’s feast or famine in my life with too little or too much work. I was beat up this weeks with one physically threatening patient and another beaurocratically threatening. Both were a product of their disease so I felt sadness for their sickness and understood that their anger with the authorities who had failed them was now directed at me the front line worker they had contact with. Their calls are not being answered by government services and they’re been refused and cut off. Drugs and alcohol, isolation and alienation but I’m afraid because I’ve been hit several times in the past. These were virtual but the psychic stress of verbal abuse and biting the hand that feeds and false allegations and deceit all still come through the screen. I was exhausted this weekend. I’ve others phoning and wanting to speak but I was emotionally raw and felt that all I could do is recoup for another week in the trenches. I’ve also several ‘yes,but’ terribly soul sucking negative people believing in their marijuana which no longer is working like alcohol fails and now they blame me and the antidepressants for their problem. I wouldn’t mind so much but I’ve talked with the back benchers and administrative set and they’re so far removed from reality they may as well be on the space station. They don’t even register that our clinics now have to post signs don’t hurt the staff. Everyone is lying about the post covid mass illegal immigrations and the devastation rapid inflation by corrupt government has had on those with fixed pensions or disability.</div><div><br></div><div>I’m actually blessed. My dog is well. We walk several times a day even in the rain. I had him at the off leash dog park a couple of times this weekend and I even swam doing laps and getting much needed exercise.</div><div><br></div><div>Now I’m planning on church. I’d thought about church last night but felt with the time change confusion it would be okay if I didn’t make it . It was Burnaby round up yesterday. I had tickets and wanted at least to go for the evening program. Yet driving at night was discouraging so Me and Ed’s lasagna and a movie instead. </div><div><br></div><div>Now I really should get up and get dressed. </div><div> </div><div>Gratitude. Thank you for the electric blanket. Thank you for the electric heater fireplace. Thank you for the propane heater. Thank you for the warm. Thank you for Madigan. Thank for Jesus. Thank you for running water. Thank you for my health. Thank you for my mobility. Thank you for my car and truck and motorcycle . Thank you for my home and work. Thank you for today. Thank you for incense and smell. Thank you for feeling. Thank you for sobriety. Thank you dance. Thank you for theatre. Thank you for music. Help me to find the time and resource to attend the symphony. I’d hoped to this weekend but maybe next. Thank you for stories. Thank you for plane flight. Thank you for milk and coffee. Thank you for yogurt and gummy vitamins. Thank you for thought and reflection. Thank you for reading. </div><div><br></div><div>Thank you God. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Holy Spirit. </div><div><img id="id_6cf0_99ea_a681_a760" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1ZPgh_n4ExBPh_fPXJ7HvhFQ4AE_Nw_zm" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 221px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-28496761876895384302024-03-09T12:20:00.001-08:002024-03-09T12:20:06.643-08:00Religion and Ritual decisionI am happy. I’ve enrolled in the Oxford Online Religion and Ritual Course. I looked at this course a year ago and have been looking at on line courses for several years. I tried the Biblical Hebrew last internaltional course I attended but the broadband was spotty. My experience with Starlink has been so good that I feel ready again. The Continuing Medical Eduation courses at UBC and the Pacific Psychopharmacology courses on line the last couple of years have been excellent.<div><br></div><div>I’ve been in survivor mode since covid. I’ve relaxed with my time south this winter. I really did benefit from the sun rest and working virtual only 4 days a week with the clinics. I had a day this week with a patient threatening me because he’s been refused funding by another agency, another patient angry that I’d reported their extensive drug use in my report as a substance abuse issue. They’re definitely precontemplation in regards to change and were uninterested in knowing the effects of the various drugs they were using on the brain. Finally another patient was psychotic and angry at me because they didn’t feel they needed antipsychotic medications despite hospitalization. I was exhausted and all beat up and came home to see we will still dealing with the patient who threatened the clinic. I was peripheral in that but became anxious about work wondering if I really wanted to deal with the anger so many patients have these days because of the lack of resources, high costs and horrendous delays in health care. I feel as usual being a front line worker I’m the one that takes the hit while the back benchers and those out of touch on the space station called the shots then scapegoat individuals for the system flaws in the system created by the stupidity, ignorance, incompetence, corruption and greed of those calling the shots in Ottawa. </div><div><br></div><div>I was going to work and coming home and eating and watching tv and sleeping but I feel alive again. I did talk to my mentors and colleagues about the dangers in the workplace and the false accusations and entitlement and demands and the signs now in the clinics to not abuse the staff and that violence won’t be tolerated. It’s not surprising that no one wants to work on the front line. I was actually enjoying being of service until that day when the damn broke and all the verbal abuse and aggression came out, completely unrelated to me, but because of problems the patients had in their lives dealing with authorities. </div><div><br></div><div>Before Covid I was on a couple of boards and was taking theology course in the evening completing a master of religious studies as well as receiving an M. Div ironically from an online institute that was shut down. I have the Master of Religious Studies but the M. Div I’m amused by given the irony of a fraudulent colllege. I was only interested in that institute because the other M.Div’s with denominational and I wanted a non denominational degree. I loved studying theology and evening courses at Regent College, St. Mark’s Catholic and Vancouver Theological College. I have no difficulty identifying as a Christian and I am an Anglican but I find that some aspects of St. Paul’s Judaic cultural and historic teaching no longer seem true. I continue to be able to say the Creed and agree with that but it’s a challenge to accept the evangelical position of biblical truth. At the same time I don’t believe in cherry picking either. </div><div><br></div><div>The fact is I’m really excited about studying anthrooploy’s Ritual and Religion. At the British Museum I was most impressed by the exhibit of early man and astonished by the advances that have occurred in understanding of prehistoric man. I’d studied Anthropology of Canadian Natives at University of Waterloo enjoying the study of Boaz and others and read Prehistory (a very short introduction) by Chris Gosden and the Scots a genetic journey, by Alistair Moffat looking at what we’ve learned from such advances as DNA testing. It’s all fundamental to the psychotherapeutic work of psychiatry , understanding the need for ritual. I loved Dr. Jung and Dr. Freud’s work in these areas especially considering today that anxiety patients are experience without routines and the break down of the cultural and community supports. <br><div><br></div><div>I dreamed last night that I was sharing accommodations with women in the Meditarrean area. The significance was one of them asking for a bath or a shower. It reminded me of all the shitty dreams when I didn’t have a washroom or the hole in the floor was plugged. In other dreams I was in the third world hole the floor was wet and covered in urine and I had to balance tried to squat and keep my trousers from touching anything. It was a dream breakthrough last week when I actually had a white washed washroom with a new flush toilet. I love dream analysis and this represented an ultimate progress. Then to have last night’s dream of the my friend wanting a bath or shower and thinking that there must be one was truly exhilerating. Hope and faith were being restored. </div></div><div><br></div><div>I’m old now, a birthday just passed and that was the time of the clean dream. The Mediterranean habitat luxury living communities continues to be enjoyable . In the dream there were meetings and friends mingling and I confess I don’t know if it’s my future or heaven but it’s as positive a dream as those with my dogs. I wake feeling uplifted, grateful and capable.</div><div><br></div><div>I feel God is with me too. I pray always and feel carried on eagles wings. </div><div><br></div><div>I’ve completed the collection of paper I needed for the Anil Auluck my accountant. I’ve also completed the cleaning and organization that has me back here from having been almost 3 months on the road. I’ve a functional life and am thankful that I was able to complete that adventure.</div><div><br></div><div>I have a bucket list, lying on a beach in Phuket, a trip to Europe to visit Berlin, Vienna and Venice, a return to Ireland and Scotland, and a visit to my nephews and family in Ottawa and Napanee. I imagine the latter trip would be a drive with my truck and camper. My sister in law is selling their property and I imagine bringing back the hard bottomed dingy I had with the big sailboat I’ve up for sale. I’ll be happy with progress.</div><div><br></div><div>The fact is I ‘ve turned it over to God. So much is out of my control so I simply do the next right thing and continue. </div><div><br></div><div>I am thankful. Today it’s not raining and I took Madigan for a long walk. I would have walked further but my knee was seriously painful after I over did it a week ago. I’m having to pace myself. He liked our visit to the off leash park and I imagine I’ll do that again soon. </div><div><br></div><div>My expresso machine began to act up so I bought a new one only to find it’s not working optimally so I’m considering returning it today. </div><div><br></div><div>Everyday errands and cadillac problems abound. I just work away at it.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Thank you God. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Holy Spirit. </div><div><br></div><div><img id="id_1ec2_1590_9df9_4eec" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/17NyExySxNCwUHjgUIJm22S3MH6H-ZoCo" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 232px; height: auto;"></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">This was the snow days last week then we had the hail and then the rain. Today is dry. Grey sky but pleasant. I’m thankful the snow and cold sleet are past. In like a lion out like a lamb is the old march saying. I’m hopeful we’ll continue to see the weather improve. The light is better and the clocks change today.</span></div><div><img id="id_8d1_cbba_2199_9cf1" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1gKzBP-HzyMr4iCkx-cHbjRk-E0L0ytjP" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 204px; height: auto;"><br><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">I love my new helmet mount. I might even get out on the motorcycle this weekend. </span></div><div><img id="id_931f_a916_7428_5c6a" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1lRmJQRlcFXNwkzJewG2zLAZPf8J9CAaM" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 222px; height: auto;"><br>We’ve had some beautiful skies and sunset . Mostly I’m pleased I’m looking up and paying attention.</div><div><img id="id_54a4_ee4f_93e8_5ab9" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/16xGEWRpFfrIg1PrGA4jjuWRunbKQjYL5" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 215px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">The best buddy. He keeps me active. Loves to go for a walk and take me along. <br></span><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-78106723299925002672024-03-08T05:32:00.001-08:002024-03-08T05:32:57.418-08:003 am awakeI woke feeling afraid, anxious, vulnerable. I have resisted the paranoia of the world. I’ve fought against the psychosis of modern society. I have struggled to stay open. I began to write stream of consciousness journaling, having read Artists Way and Finegan’s Wake and seeing so much mental anguish in work. People were afraid to speak and share, living lies of ‘quiet desperation’ .<div>I recently explained that ‘the man who mistook their wife for a hat’ was the best little book about brain damage. It was in a discussion of dementia when a person was medicalizing forgetfulness and slippery sliding into denial of civil liberties for forgetfulness. I explained that medically dementia was a failure of neuroplasticity. The brain was a self healing organism and yet over the time the capacity to function with rationality and meaning were lost. The point was that it was ‘the little stuff’ but big stuff that counted ‘like the man who mistook his wife for a hat.’ </div><div>I was concerned decades ago that people believed ‘insaniety’ was what one ‘thought’. I was so aware of the communist persecution and tyranny of dictatorships at the time. I was a member of the Canadian Civil Liberties Society and Psychiatrists against the Politial abuse of Psychiatry. I’d studied logic at university and saw that rhetoric was the norm in parliament. I was concerned reading of the Gulags and twisting thinking of Marxists whose generalizations were so appealing yet no better than the ‘deconstructionists’. Hypocrisy. </div><div>The oldest law of the world is the ‘Chinese Law of the Fish’.</div><div>The problem of creativity was that one’s thinking was ‘strange’ and ‘alien’. One step ahead of the crowd you are a genius, two steps a head of the crowd you are a martyr. The problem wasn’t in the ‘thinking’ and a need for more ‘thought police’ but rather in action. </div><div>My Jewish genius friend told me that he is afraid to step outside anymore. “I meet people who aren’t even in the 15th century. They come from countries where the ruler is considered divine so there’s been no group consensus like the Magna Carta. Others a living before the 18th and 19th century. They don’t know the French Revolution guillotined the poor leadership or that the American War of Independence rejected the foreign dominance. They certainly haven’t experienced the 60’s revolution. Sex is still the ‘state’s’ And ‘my body my own’ is unheard of . That said I’m discussing quantum entanglement in my home and mind body spiritual epistemology questioning the purpose and meaning of existence and the role of the artists in society and my new neighbour wants to live out 1950’s all over again. When I step out of my home I find myself in this time warp recurring loop and am persecetuted by those who don’t even know the power of marketting, fringe politics of Hitler and just want consumerism and conformity.”</div><div><br></div><div>I wrote my blog to celebrate the breadth of ideas and that diversity was the acceptance not of the ‘state approved’ ‘groups of acceptable concerns’ but rather for the bizarre unusual and anxiety provoking. Stephen King was an alcoholic. The government is the primary drug and alcohol pusher for the sake of self serving taxation conveniently forgetting the 30’s referendum in Canada at least that said ‘sin tax’ was only to be used for health care not to reward politicians. </div><div><br></div><div>It’s easy to be a critic. Critics are a dime a dozen. Desire is the root of all suffering, says Buddha. Yet Jesus said ‘take the timber out of your own eye before taking the sliver out of your neighbours’. Jordan Peterson said that 10% of society now did not have the intellectual capacity to function in a modern society of computers and AI. Piatian psychologists studied a cross section of society and found that the development of abstract thinking seen by Piaget in his children as occurring with adolescence wasn’t achieved by a surprising half or majority until well into their thirties. </div><div><br></div><div>I just came back from a couple of months in the US and was aware of the vast differences between the political systems and government of Canada and the Us but know most Canadian media homogenizes the systems to utilize generalizations. We do. it’s communication.</div><div><br></div><div>I wanted my patients to realize that ‘normal’ people had all manner of fear, anger, loves, emotions , doubts and that this wasn’t insane. I wanted to share my own ambivalence and show that yes I can be the ‘leader’ and hide my thoughts with ‘boundaries’ and all manner of ‘state approved’ deception but that this focus on the exterior in terms of thought was horribly disabling and gave rise the the greatest of tragedies. Now we have all manner of insaniety with the term ‘emotional abuse’. All manner of insaniety. There is a society of malignant subjectivity, a culture of narcissism and a world of the selfie. Whole tribes aim to be ‘influences’. Marketting is preferred to truth. All truth is ‘my’ truth or ‘your truth’ and perspective. There’s a superficial interpretation of relativity in a world of ‘if it feels good do it’. Yet the word feeling can come from lust or love and both feel good but in an amoral society where ethics are not longer respected there’s a devil in the details.</div><div><br></div><div>I’m anxious because of Julian Assange and the honey traps perfected in WWII and the Cold War still being used today. Gossip and mob violence reign. Law and order decline. Cowardly leadership. Weak men and long necked women.</div><div><br></div><div>In the middle of the night I wake afraid because I’ve tried to bare my soul to say this self reflection and expression of the good and bad is okay. It’s all about he Spirituality of Imperfection. The leaders aren’t perfect. Their power suits and pretty houses and body guards and hidden wealth are all rather passé. I like the story Reacher. A modern day St. Francis, the zen monk of my youthful television days. </div><div><br></div><div>I have wearied of the cacophony of criticism and the demand and bullying for my time and attention and gone off alone on expeditions to the north and to sea. I’ve enjoyed solitude and not been lonely with a woman and a dog and often with just a dog and even when I had a fish or a houseplant. So many don’t know the essence of such relationship. I am at times aware of the great mystical wonder of being apart of the forest or the world.</div><div><br></div><div>I’ve found gratitude helps me adjust my attitude. When I’m afraid and can’t sleep I write what I’m thankful for. I give up fear and replace it with faith. I believe in love. I believe the other is God. I believe I’m playing peekaboo all day with Jesus. I pray that the saints of all religions love shine on my devotion. I am thankful for the air I breath for breathing, for the sun, for warmth and heat, for food and sustenance, for my room mate dog companion, for mobility and walking. I am thankful for feeling. I’m thankful for showers. I’m thankful for all the well wishers. I have this fault where I hear a dozens words of praise and one word of disdain and I disregard all the positivity and focus on the negativity. I magnify disease so that I can heal it which is good in the objectivity but subjectivity I must remember Jesus said, Love God and Love your neighbour as yourself.</div><div><br></div><div>The weasel words are ‘God’ and ‘Neighbour’. The natives say ‘all my relations’. I enjoyed meeting the Jain and spending the day with him as he shared how he struggled with killing a mosquito. He was like the Quakers who fasted for killing to but that of humans. Their neighbour was ‘humanoid’. The war of Gods was the history at the beginning of civilizations when Yahweh and other gods were tribal gods. </div><div><br></div><div>God to me is life. All things. All. I loved Phillips book, Your God is too small. Then I’m talking with aetheists whose reductionism is infinitismal. But there are no aetheists at sea or in fox holes. Aetheism is a hot house plant and the religion of communism, a dictorship. </div><div><br></div><div>The movies are all ‘revenge porn’ or ‘sex porn’. Primal stories of the Joseph Campbell variety. The joke was if you are younger than 40 go to a Freudian because your issues are all sex and aggression but if you’re over 40 go to a Jungian because your issues are about alienation and integration. I loved the book Denial of Death. I fear even fleeting thoughts of suicide in depths of despair because I believe in the law of attraction.</div><div><br></div><div>I see depressed and angry and frightened people all day and their emotions and ideas are like infections and they are infective. I am hours on the front line knowing that the administrative class and upper class and the powerful want nothing to do with the ‘people’ . I’m daily facing at least one ‘soul theif’. They’re there to ‘steal my joy’ or ‘run in my day.’ They’re the kafetch and Im trying desperately to survive an hour of their fear which grates like nails on a chalkboard. They are angry at the world and as I’m part of it I’m in their sights. </div><div><br></div><div>My job is not to be their lawyer</div><div><br></div><div>The psychiatrist focuses on changing the invidual with psychotherapy or medications or other physical therapies. I’m an addiction psychiatrist and trauma psychiatrist. I am like a driving instructor who sits in the car and asks that they let me take the wheel as we crash and burn. I walk a mile in their shoes and hope to return. I’m thoroughly buggered at the end of the day. I’ve been spat on hit, shat on, held hostage and thoroughly abused by my superiors who hide in institutions and avoid contact with people and have the resources to walk about the wards as ‘gangs’. I’m a lone cop in a police car. I’m the priest in the battlefield.</div><div><br></div><div>I am holding on to life. I’m holding onto this work. I ‘m said to be at retirement age. I’m supposed to have a referral service who screens out psychopaths and sociopaths. Theres’ a public service and a private service but everyone is now treated as a government worker by the populace who don’t respect private business or that the damage they do to the building I’m in comes out of my income. The government says they should be ‘free’ . The government makes all manner of promises but takes the wealth and leaves us on the front lines like the soldiers on the beach. I wonder how long I can do this. </div><div><br></div><div>I was threatened three times today. I’ve had patients point guns at me in the office. I’ve been robbed and mugged. So many patients live in their tv. There are signs all over the city now don’t hurts the healing staff. The delays and lack of services are caused by Ottawa, not me. I’m not the enemy. The rabid dogs are bitting the hand that feeds and the police are hiding in bunkers while the corruption and greed stalk the world.</div><div><br></div><div>I go to work in the real world. The majority of critics and complainers live in the safety of their screen, experiences a sanitized propaganda version of reality.</div><div><br></div><div>I tried explain that the diagnosis of PTSD came from what soldiers experienced not ‘emotional abuse’. The entitled privileged narcissists screamed at me that I didn’t understand. She had a monopoly on pain and it was always about her.</div><div><br></div><div>Since in the end the other is God and I am looking in a mirror I had to reflect with sadness that that was me when I was a teenager. She might be much older but the suffering I felt in her uncontrolled rage was no difference than my mother ‘s pain when I was a teen and shouting at her, blaming her for my emotional immaturity. I sat years later in the Ashram and the Church trying to forgive myself. I still am so ashamed that I was a toddler and shit myself. Now am facing this in old age and wondering about compassion missing my father and brother and grand father and feeling alone. I feel forsaken yet know I’m not.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you God for the good times. Thank you God for the ‘tools’. Thank you God that I am able to recalibrate. Thank you God that I have learned what I struggle to pass on. Thank you God that I have some patience as I progress towards the only choice of acceptance on deaths bed. Thank you God for preparing me for departure. help me to know I’m not this body, this ego, this suffering and am joy . Thank you for my being a spiritual being in a material world and knowing my mind is more than my brain.. Thank you for peace and calm and faith. Thank you God for being there with me when I feel persecuted and alone threatened and afraid. So many threats today. So much anger.</div><div><br></div><div>i know these people sometimes for an hour and they say that’s they’re going to kill me as if that will solve a life of errors and defeats. I struggle to help them up while they’re flailing about having a tantrum on my office floor threatening homicide and suicide and claiming they’re going to make the world a better place by annihilating me.</div><div><br></div><div>Then I read that my government which paid and murdering terrorist 10 million dollars supports the Hamas terrorists and I hate that the Prime Minister is such an evil twot. As above so below. God gives us the leaders we deserve. Politics is the choice of the least bad alternative. I want to go back to Israel and sit in the temple . I remember the three markets and the disorder and sense of safety I felt or didn’t feel in each of the markets depending on the religion of the people. I don’t like the Religion of Peace that kills homosexuals.</div><div><br></div><div>I must find the God within to heal fron the verbal assaults and threats and abuse and the broken system with so many afraid and angry with the mismanagement of the economy and the inflation and corruption. It’s tax time. I’m trying to gather all the paper. I’m pressured to meet deadliness.</div><div><br></div><div>I have this sense that I’m waiting for Godot. that this is where it’s’ come to. Younger I worked and looked to a future with hope of a private plane , a family , a </div><img id="id_7a7_c049_1062_c962" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/16em0Suz5QDkq9RLigC3NETmFcj2gXqyd" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 203px; height: auto;"><br><br><div>mansion a white picket fence and a family. Here I am some days feeling like the old. My retired friends are leaving the miliaray captains or colonels knowing they didn’t make it to general and that they ‘failed’. The rich are poor in the end. We are all 3 paychecks from eviction. I have saved only to have the trust fund boy steal my savings and the evil witch threaten bank accounts and freeze the assets of those who love freedom. I’m afraid and can’t build up riches on earth.</div><div><br></div><div>There is only you God. there is no where to hide her. I went to Meteora and Cappadocia and I’ve been to the islands and to the north. There’s nowhere to hide. I have my back up against the wall of death and the abyss is there. I walk among the delusional immortals who know no respect and haven’t been stabbed or attacked. They’ve lived quiet lives as bullies and haven’t been to jail and asylum and haven’t seen the inside of a quiet room or solitary. They don’t know the feeling of restraints. They’re living young without the experience of a body that betrays them, a glass spilled because the weight can not be sustained by the wrist and arm. The shaking and tremors are apparent now. I’m laughing thinking of the shame. </div><div><br></div><div>I liked Clint Eastwood, I don’t let the old man in</div><div><br></div><div>Trudeau wants to euthanize the mentally ill. He claims it’s what they want. I dentificatin with the aggressor. Power and homeless, Solyet GReen eappeals but the rich and powerful aren’t leading the way. Trudeau leads from the rear. Communist leaders do. </div><div><br></div><div>But then wars are for old men to kill young men. They play their families against another’s families. The gangs go on ….It’s like the animal and insect behaviour. All the poetry doesn’t change the barbarism.</div><div><br></div><div>You’ve survived.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you God. thank you Jesus. Thank you for the heat. Thank you for this body. Thank you for sleep and wakeful. Thank you for the mind and heart and soul . Thank you for this day and night. May I know you more truly and surely. </div><div> </div><img id="id_8ea1_e7d0_427a_19b7" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1eY7df6wM4pcep3tNIdICm1e4VJrEnm_1" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 243px; height: auto;"><br><br>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-91038834471350355802024-03-07T05:49:00.001-08:002024-03-07T05:49:27.442-08:00Wee hour peanut butter and jamI am having a peanut butter and marmalade open sandwich. It’s 5 am. I woke up at 330 am to pee and now have peed twice, said prayers, petted Madigan and read university on line course offerings. I completed my winter adventure and the spring now waits. I have a course to complete on driving and driving training to do. I continue my studies in gender. I’m attending church and AA. I could play guitar and sing again now that I have hearing aids. <div>I’ve a day of work tomorrow. I’ve paperwork to gather for my accountant to complete my taxes. I’m been whittling away at such tasks. I’ve laundry to pick up and drop off. I’ve not yet returned to doing my own loads in my own washer and drier given the bags of laundry I’ve been doing. The Merry Maids came yesterday and did a marvellous job of leaving the place clean and tidy. It’s uplifting to have that feeling of being cared for each time they come and go. I slept from 10 to 330 in a well made bed with clean sheets and comforter. I have been using the electric blanket and enjoying the warmth of bed. It was snowing/sleeting yesterday. The temperature has been very low and my propane heating costs very high. </div><div>The 10 week 10 hour a week course on prehistoric ritual and religion appeals to me. I considered the history of medicine and history of art too but keep returning to archeology and anthropology in my on going training in spirituality. </div><div>WPATH is meeting in Lisbon. I’d thought of attending. Portugal is appealing but what as far as I can tell my bucket list now is only Venice, Vienna and Berlin. Southern Ireland and Scotland are forever calling now. I always think a bridge too far and must reign in enthusiasm. I enjoyed reading the philosophy of mind course addressing the mind-body issue andd yes I’d like to take that. I enjoyed studying Biblical Hebrew from the University of Jerusalem but the problem then was poor broad band connection with the internet I received on the boat at dock. Now my Starlink is really serving me well. My home is back to normal with too much clutter. All I need is available but I do need a run to the storage locker and I have that nagging feeling I have to seriously reduce the cost and collection. I have too many old clothes. Given how little I needed this 2 1/2 months in the south I really don’t need all of what I have here or especially what I have in storage. I enjoyed putting bags of excess clothing in the diabetes clothing bin behind my Ford dealer. </div><div>So here I am with my mind considering all that I have to do. I did drink strong coffee at the meeting last night. George told me he’ll be 82 next month and shared tales of his younger years travelling about partying with friends and losing jobs and changing jobs with his portable skills in waiting and bar tending. I reflected back to those days when I enjoyed the freedom of having a ‘job’ compared to the ‘career’ I have today.</div><div>I enjoy my work on line. I’ve been back in the clinics and will be back at docside next week.</div><div>I thought of doing a series of papers on psychopharmacology and doing a simple utube presentation of the studies. </div><div>I also reflected on those folk who watch documentaries and learning channel, History and National Geographic. I do that very little, my principle night television watching a recent movie, a thiller or war or spy, or detective. Last night I watched another episode of NCIS and enjoyed Gibbs. I’d earlier watched an episode of Star Trek. I feel inspired not only to learn but to write and create but so far all it comes down to is I can’t sleep and I’ve now had a peanut butter and jam sandwich so should get back to sleep with the hope of another hour or two.</div><div>Maybe I’ll read in bed for a bit. </div><div>I’ll fill out the university application tomorrow. I resisted doing it today. It’s the same course I contemplated a year ago. The British Museum exhibit of early man excited me as did my archeology studies in undergrad of the Minoans and Mycenaeans. I was blessed to visit Knossos. </div><div>I was glad to get back in touch with Bob, his accepting a referral I made. I really ought to arrange for coffee and discussion . I’d love to keep up with what he is doing and enjoyed our discussions in the past. </div><div>I’m 72. I was thankful for all the birthday wishes on Facebook. Otherwise it was a non event that is still dawning on my. 71 was a very good year. I’m grateful for the blessings I’ve had .</div><div><br></div><div>I don’t struggle with Jesus as son of God. I appreciate Yahvew as being and creator. I understand Jesus as the human face and the Holy Ghost as a motherly force but the idea of Jesus ‘dying for our sins ‘and Paul’s Judaic ‘blood sacrifice’ though is lifted out of the primitive religions I wish to study. Like Golden Bough. I find that interpretation of the Life of Jesus stilted. I more easily relate to the mysticism of Jesus and Christianity. Knowing God. Prayer and meditation. Sin means to miss the mark, the imperfect. I like Kurtz , the Spirituality of Imperfectin and Cohen’s the crack that lets the light in. Our Brokeness but the ‘sacrificial’ no so much which is why I guess I am attracted to this course. In addiction the person is killing self and turning their back on life and God. </div><div><br></div><div>We discussed faith and fear last night. FEAR - Fuck everything and run or Face everything and Recovery. George shared another I’d not known False Evidence Appearing Real. </div><div><br></div><div>I have knee and back pain. I have been careful because I need to be able to walk to serve my dog. We had roast chicken tonight. </div><div><br></div><div>Well, another try at bed. </div><div><br></div><img id="id_8b22_d434_b0d1_4c20" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/16bZ_i0DYhSXsWIB3ijUXiEUUSycDmVo0" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 221px; height: auto;"><br><br><div> </div><img id="id_554f_3747_d0d1_78" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1fPTEbNw_mqZZ_vGBOQzWpnH3iRvN-XbG" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 231px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_74c5_6b02_6ae2_5e7" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1_SwGUyaI68O48uPT7m-AHJI5sNRNJqxA" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 227px; height: auto;"><br><br><br>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-3917058367465389792024-03-02T11:48:00.001-08:002024-03-02T11:48:53.501-08:00Commercial StreetCommercial street is my favourite people watching street. Great coffee shops. Joe’s is a favourite. Today I’m sitting in the heated balcony having delicious breakfast. I had the chorizo hash. Madigan loved the burger paddy. Now I’m eating his fries. <div>So far I’ve seen two women dressed in skirts over pyjama bottoms. Not quite up to the Walmart Standards of attire but an uptown version. It may well become the next fashion. Commercial has that community feel. I suspect these two just see the Havana balcony as their own veranda. They’ll live in one of the funky partitioned house apartments loved for the outdoor gardens tenants managed. There are a few apartment buildings but it’s not at all downtown. People actually live as families in the houses too. </div><div>Commercial is known as the second Davie street. Davie was the original gay friendly street but in recent years more people have moved to this friendly neighbourhood. The west end remains the west end but became a bit iffy with Covid and more violence and drugs. </div><div>Commercial has a bit of that problem . A friend bought a house and moved away a couple of years later not liking needles left in her backyard, It’s a modern urban problem . The DTES is the highest density of this but its effects reach out to West Vancouver and Kitzilano. All one hopes for is that the light is greater than the dark. Like here on Commercial. Mother’s with children, and even a couple of babies in strollers have passed in the last few minutes. One doesn’t see yuppies and babies in the DTES but here they do. </div><div>It’s also known for the artists and students it attracts. Once the Italian sector as evidenced still by the coffee shops and huge tv screens always tuned to Soccer. I used to come here for the Italian foods, pasta sauces, rigaretto , delicious bread and fine sausages. </div><div>We loved a Saturday meeting called ‘alive on the drive’ which attracted a half dozen or more of us as the meeting place before going for breakfast at the then avante garde Vegetarian restaurant before everyone because vegetarian because they could no longer afford meat. </div><div> I couldn’t help but notice the steak I bought a year or two ago for $5 is now $20. Obviously global inflation is a problem but Canadian government financial mismanagement and corruption has contributed massively to the simple cost of living. The head of the Bank of Canada actually in an unprecedented response pointed the finger directly at the prime minister who has denied accountability for everything negatively like an underdeveloped teen age tyrant. It’s disheartening at times but thankfully history is replete with rise and falls of tyrants and bad times being followed by good times. It’s simply best to maintain hope and faith. Canada is still my home and despite extensive travels I keep returning here if only it’s the devil I know. Obviously there are better places and better governments elsewhere but they’re simply not ‘home’. </div><div>I heard a Trudeau Liberal Cabinet minister asked what he would do if he was elected in the election and he responded, “I’d probably go home and enter politics there.” He consider Somalia home, not Canada. I consider Canada my home and don’t respect uncultured miscreants like Trudeau who claims to be post national. The Global Communist dictatorship agenda promoted by the rogues gallery of the UN under the new guise promoted by Schwab, today’s Lenin. All the jet owning jet setting millionaires love to gather and discuss totalitarianism and bug food for the middle and lower classes knowing they’re continue to drink champagne and eat caviar at the next incarnation of Epstein Island.</div><div>That said I’m here on Commercial street robust with the college grads who often looking for work or working three jobs. This is where the centre of creativity is, the powerhouse of the middle class crushed between the peasant thugs and elite bullies. The middle class doesn’t say ‘steal from the rich and give to the poor’ or tax the middle class more. They go to work and create. Commercial Street is that hot bed of creativity with fashion boutiques, and little shops and unique people from all walks of life. I liked that Rufus Guitars continued to grow my youth and now has large building here. The ethnic foods have changed from European to Asian to Africans. </div><div>My favourite second hand books store was here. I don’t know if it still is. I used to walk this street with George each week discussing philosophy, medicine and theology before he died too young, an old man who we never thought was old. I’m that age now. My knee aches and what I thought were sailors sun wrinkles are looking more the influence of gravity.</div><div>Havana’s is filling up. Great restaurant. Love the waiters and waitresses. We’ve had a lovely meal and some time to reflect on this incredibly diverse street and exciting street. </div><div>I’m thankful for the times times I’ve had on Commercial. </div><div><br></div><div> </div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-48726331546404711992024-03-01T10:00:00.001-08:002024-03-01T10:00:07.903-08:00Thank you God for the rest.I am grateful today. I’m settled back into my residence with Star Link finally working. I’d restored electricity , water and sewer and had the marvellous ladies from Merry Maid come to clean my place as well as clean and sort the camper. I had simply done so much since arriving back from two and one half months in the south missing winter here. It’s not a minor matter. So many matters need to be addressed with even a short term move. I’m still sorting out my mail which wasn’t forwarded but collected at the post office to be there when I returned. <div>The greatest challenge was the death of Starlink, the cable and dish interface failing. Starlink sent me a new dish and cable but in the the couple of weeks I had to use Tengointernet which has a limit of two devices and sometimes intermittent coverage. It really did tide me over. Now my Star link is up.<div>At Apple gifted myself the new Titanium tough watch, good for scuba diving and having gps and maps. It replaces my Garmin and the Apple iWatch that really was too gentle for the hunting and camping trips I took it on. I was glad for the $200 trade in.</div><div>There was the mini ipad that Apple Care replaced since it had broken with a bang being carried in a knapsack. I bought the new Samsung 43 QLED Smart TV having had such pleasure upgrading the tv in the camper to a ‘smart’ one. I was able to give the old one, still in great shape to a friend who told me his smaller tv had just begun to fade. Timely advance</div></div><div>Kelvin of Travco helped me with the getting the electricity and water and ensuring the camper was set up for storage. Murray was so kind to make the time to come out to Chilliwack with the camper, get it off loaded then tarp it against leaks. He drove my mini home and I drove the truck. </div><div>I worked the week too. I even made it to the clinic and gave Karen the hard copies of work that I’d turbofaxed her from Yuma. </div><div>Today I’m picking up my new hearing aids.</div><div>I’d kept money in reserve while travelling in case of any calamity in the US. Only minor costs , like fixing the sewage outlet arose so I felt I had this ‘saved’ money so could do some self care. I was even able to gift family which always feels good. When I was young my aunt use to surprise us with small gifts of ‘fun money’ she called it. </div><div>I had my hair coloured and nail painted black. I’ve been to church and meetings.</div><div>It’s like I’m reestablished in my home.</div><div><br></div><div>I learned some things. One was that I didn’t ‘use my city’. What I enjoyed away is right here at home. The beaches and birds of Oceanside California with the surfers and people having fun on the beach is readily available in English Bay. It’s simply been to long since I ‘ve made the time to go there. Covid so disrupted my life that I became a homebody. I used to have season’s tickets to the Ballet, Theatre and often went to the Opera and Symphony. Since Covid I’ve just made it to a couple of sympthonies. I’ve the New Westminster seawall I can walk and I’ve done that a couple of times. It’s not quite Stanley Park but it’s a working riven and truly lovely. I really need to do that more , having the fish and chips on the outings. It’s been too long since I’ve been to Steveston’s. I haven’t had chilli at the top of Grouse or Cyprus and haven’t been snow shoeing or skiing since before Covid. Since Covid I’ve mostly walked the Brunette River with little change in routine, a circumscribed life and too much time watching tv and not venturing out. I realized that while I ride my motorcycle I’d not done more than day trips and the fun was weekends in the saddle a camping nights. I’ve been hunting a few times and still love Princeton and Merritt and 100 mile. I’ve done a few weekends at Harrison but simply not enough. Away I was taking trips to ghost towns, riding my bike to the Marine Airfield, going to the Proving grounds, checking out the wildlife museum, trying out different outdoor cafe’s. I love people watching on Commercial and it’s the best but too much time I took the path of least ressstance. I did several virtual meetings a week but before Covid I was doing them in person. I was attending the Canadian Author Association monthly meetings and making it too regularly. I was participating in my city. I realized that and have made the plan to mend my ways. More exercise and more being a tourist in my own town. It was good to see Murray , Dave and Mack. Covid isolated me and now I’m realizing I need to make the effort to reconnect. </div><div><br></div><div>I gather I was depressed by the time I left. The stress of Covid and illness and all the patients struggling with finances because of government corruption and mismanagement. It was great being away because I wasn’t hearing of Trudeau mania, the frenzy of a bad kid spending no everyone else’s money as if it was his own. Twisted and evil. I let it get to me because finances were so hurting my patients and as I listened to them every day it got to me how the lies of Ottawa were hurting the little guys of the west. I got away and for 2 and 1/2 months didn’t see the devastation, didn’t have to watch the countries decline to a third world nation. America had its problems but they were not my problems and I was just passing through. I really have to let go of the politics of my home because I’m just passing through.</div><div><br></div><div>I am praying every day. I meditated daily but not long enough. Not deep enough. It’s like walking the dog. I do that every day three times , about an hour and a half to two hours but I know I’ve done a better job when on some days I’ve walked him more. In Arizona I had a longer walk routine and we both benefitted from the exercise. He’s my physiotherapist. </div><div><br></div><div> I’m supposed to be writing books but frankly I’m enjoying my work and time.</div><div><br></div><div>I’m astonished at the ‘mess’ I’ve created since returning. I really need to ‘cull’ my stuff. I’m far too cluttered and after living just fine in a little camper for 2 1/2 half months I can see there’s just so much I’ve got that’s duplicated or in excess. I’ve pots I don’t use and mugs I don’t use and everything is duplicated in the storage locker. I have a dozen dress shirts and would only wear those if I had to go to court. I have so much trouble reducing and wished I had someone I could do this work with.</div><div>Should I keep this, give it away, or toss it ? Person. </div><div><br></div><div>I’m going to make an effort. Maybe a trip to the storage locker too. That’s gloomy though and I’d love some help there. I’ve spent so much of my life entertaining others and serving their needs that it’s good now to show self care. I’ve not got into the chiropracter her though my back has been painful. My knee has been problematic too but I did swim and can do more of that. Before I left I was swimming twice a week though not doing enough laps or spending enough time. I picked up a couple of hand weights and need to simply move with them to help the tremor in my hand from the neck injury in the pitchpoling rolling car crash, my first near death experience. God has been good to me , what with helping me survive plane crashes, motorcycle crashes, truck crashes , assaults and being held hostage. it’s been an adventure and always God has been there. Thank you Jesus. </div><div><br></div><div>I really need to read scripture more but I do this is spurts whereas I did better when I took courses and need to do that again, commit to study. I’ve a conference in psychiatry I must attend to find the answer to questions I’m encountering. One day at a time. One step after the next. </div><div><br></div><div>Today I’ll address the hurdle of banks and taxes. That’s the next step . I’ll get started right now. </div><div><br></div><div>Thank you for the air, the earth, the trees, the river, Madigan, wifi, cell service, propane, heat, running water, electricity, my heater blanket, the refridgerator, expresso maker, milk, honey</div><div><br></div><div>thank you for all this God. Thank you for feelings and the temporary material pleasures of consumer happiness. Help me to seek joy more in you and know that attachment is still a struggle. Help me to over come fear of financial insecurity and better manage my time and resources to your end. </div><div><br></div><div>I’m happy in my own adventure. I know that so many do it. It’s not like bicycling a cross Europe, becoming a specialist, being a flyin doctor in northern canada or on tropical islands or sailing solo to Hawaii through winter hurricanes. It’s fairly mundane. Driving a truck and camper with a dog and motorcycle down to the Mexican border and skipping a Canadian winter for a season, living and working virtual for 2 and 1/2 months. It’s something I dreamed of doing when I read Steinbeck’s Travel’s with Charlie and a dream I had when I sailed my sailboat to Sea of Cortez and left it there to return to only to have a divorce limit that dream and adventure. I know now to chart my own course but while I invite others along they don’t share my dream and have their own ideas of what brings them joy. Now I’m again wondering what I’ll do when I grow up.</div><div><br></div><div>What’s the next adventure. I imagine Venice, Berlin and Vienna or Thailand and India again. I ‘d love to return to South Ireland and scotland but truthfully I’m travelled out and think maybe this year I’ll just visit family and maybe join a moose hunt. I do want to go to Victoria again. It’s one of those places I’ve been too long away from. </div><div><br></div><div>I continue to explore the anima feeling I’ve done my animus time as best I can and physically feeling no longer capable of the ‘masculine ‘ idea of being the ‘woman’s tool’. Serving her lifting and carrying and defending and supporting her. I’d instead like more massages and maybe visits to the hot tub and spas. My body has really hurt with the storms and weather here. It was more comfortable in the dessert but I expect that in time that would have worn. I love the air here now as I loved the air there. I am here with the coming of spring and that’s joyous. I love the bird songs and look forward to the migration that’s so exciting here. </div><div><br></div><div>thank you Jesus. Son of God you came to earth and faced the ignorance and fear of the closed minds of the worldly. Help me open my heart and mind to your lesson of faith. I would know your grace and be more aware each day. Thank you for all your blessings.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you for the dreams. I loved that the toilet that accommodation had been painted, the room was white and not the sordid shitty mess that it so often is. I loved discussing paranoia in another dream with my esteemed colleague. It’s like I’m emotionally able to confront the greatest threat and time of greatest abuse in my life in a different way. I can look the betrayal in the face racially but my unconscious is letting me know I’ve moved forward.</div><div><br></div><div>It’s like every time I finished a motorcycle ride I’m again assured that God loves and protects me. Thank you Jesus. </div><div><br></div><div><img id="id_e0f9_b3ca_2003_f0da" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1M1Oenwdqj2ELsuF1FGwFRdudbizmttyb" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 154px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_d7e6_3d82_f5ad_4ecf" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1ahXc4Lt1XLP0do9I1uo9EFL2J8eCi94B" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 153px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div><img id="id_54d_c9dd_1ba2_6e49" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1kUtPmHxlRgGUSsGgVyK4o9Etx-rgB4e6" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 152px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><img id="id_5434_73ad_de9d_cc08" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1igyoeqwLVoD35ALWt4hBre11PRUrHjni" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 159px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_8f09_ab38_2fba_a8a2" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1tw2d30sh8s0qBxoVlphD0UW0cJCgQcop" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 184px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_1eba_d24d_dfec_6d51" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1k3iLwyUtz2aqrAsNRUCeJTx9E6fIx7nP" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 200px; height: auto;"><div><img id="id_bf79_9e36_f06c_9c31" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1ONSAjBYbCD5HwHdZ0ic2b8-iL-Z69F8k" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 227px; height: auto;"><br><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><br><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-42780366588610884732024-02-22T09:11:00.001-08:002024-02-22T09:11:22.443-08:00Gratitude for a Workation SouthI am thankful today for the last few months. Seeing the Fifth Wheel I remembered the chaos of departure. I’d not moved the fifth wheel in years and was thankful for Kelvin from Tavco’s help. Paul at Yarrow Towing was great too. John from Chilliwack RV storage introduced me to Paul, another in his list of reliable guys. <div>So there was all the stowing that went into it and the selection of what I’d need for 2 1/2 months. I had everything I needed in the camper and only had to buy an expresso machine., I was so well outfitted. </div><div>Now I’m here and just so thankful for Merry Maids and Alena and Ilena ,who were cleaning the fifth wheel for 4 hours yesterday and are coming back today. All the important and necessary items have to be transferred from this unit to the big unit. I’ve also filled a large laundry bag and will pick up another one or two from the fifth wheel. It’s overly apparent I had too much stuff over there, mostly clothes. I’ve clothing in storage and don’t think I’ll be needing more work dress shirts or jeans with little waists I may never know again. </div><div>It fills me with such a good feeling. Yesterday as everything fell into place, getting the water and propane working on the fifth wheel, renewing my passport, having the glass fixed on my iPhone and Apple Care taking care of the broken mini ipad and the lady maids arriving and late Kelvin from Travco. Then the men’s meetings, seeing all the guys , being asked to share and also passing on the rosary I’d brought back from Mexico for Mario who’d asked if I would. All along Madigan was at the camper and going for walks in between errands. I rode the motorcycle despite the rain and the truck.</div><div>It’s a whole lot of moving parts.</div><div>I loved that I was able to work with the help of Apple Computers and IPads and Starlink, Oscar program and the staff at the two clinics and cellphones. I was in Arizona visiting Territorial prisons, vacationing with Laura , going to Mexico with her to get her dental work done and my teeth cleaning and Christmas leathergood gift buying. I ridding my new Harley Nightster special around the dessert, out to the Army proving grounds and armour museum, the wildlife museum and the marine air base. It was a question whether I’d have any problems carrying the machine on the front rack of the F350. It had worked for Logan Lake but this was 5000 km’s plus of driving. I had so little repairs, the wiring cable and the sewage discharge. The truck passed inspection and for all the wear I consider myself blessed at how little went wrong. I really had a great go of it though of course I’d made sure everything was fine before leaving. </div><div>So many moving parts. My first time taking an RV to the US and back with customs waving me through both ways. I had a dog with me and he rode on my motorcycle. Everything was amazing and all of it carried a bit of fear. I feel alive facing so many challenges. The hours of driving high speed especially in the LA freeways and the night driving looking for a camp spot were all challengeing. I downloaded audio books onto my IPhone and played through the sync system on the Ford. Driving on the highway was so much better with audio books.</div><div>So many pictures.! I saw such different terrains, the great views of the amazing coastal road, the Oregon Beaches, the Redwoods, the desert and cactus, pelicans and sea lions, jets and just a whole alien adventure. I ‘m really thankful for the experience. </div><div>I’ve returned having avoided another Canadian winter . I am here in the grey rainy darkness of Vancouver late winter and so thankful I had a heavy dose of sun. I was feeling drained and vulnerable when I left. Now I feel alive again and hopeful. I listen to such sadness tragedy and anxiety. Day in day out I respond to mental illness and physical illness in the worst of political times and here I’ve had lots of sunshine, exercise and relaxation. It’s been a change too. Madigan is a constant companion and keeps me active. I’ve had musculoskeletal pains and been to chiropractors but the main message is exercise which thanks to him I do daily 3 or 4 times , half hour to an hour walks. He’s such a peach too for a rascal who became a grumpy groweller after a bad experience with a groomer. </div><div>I was trapped in the same old same old for a bit and now I’ve broken free from that. A regained joy of life. I’m loving cleaning up and organizing and being stationary.</div><div>I’d lost my appreciation of Burnaby and my work and this Workation has helped me refind my sense of purpose and a future. </div><div>There’s even a fellow wanting to see my sailboat which is up for sale. I’m planning on getting the extended RV towing license just have to first get the ICBC knowledge test completed. I’ve a hearing aid meeting tomorrow. All goes well I’ll take the camper to storage and have my home office set up and be back in the routine but with a renewed mind. I’m blessed.</div><div>Thank you God for helping me do all this. It’s a major challenge for me. I know sailing across winter seas through hurricanes is a big deal. Bicycling a cross Europe as a kid. Becoming a doctor and delivering babies, specializing and subspecizlign, managing a major practice for years and surviving the terribly outdated bureaucracies has all been achievements like fishing and big game hunting and all the little trips and the travels overseas. It’s all something. i ‘m getting old and was feeling old like there was nothing much to do. Always being asked about retiring. Well I like my practice. I like what I’m doing. I liked that I worked sufficiently that I could take a month and take Laura to Scotland , London, and Paris, visiting the Hay castles and finally getting to the Louvre. I liked that I was able to work and save and yet there I was with a major cost and no money coming in. This time I did that thing people talk about , not touching the principle or savings but rather with continued work was able to pay the travel costs and dental bills. I also liked having work. I’m not doing the 80 to 120 hour work weeks but enjoying half time work at 30 to 40 hour work. I loved taking 2 hour lunch breaks to lie in the sun or sit by the pool. That way I got the best of the sunshine where as when I’d only taken 1 hour lunch I rose in winter in the dark and finished in the dark. The Spanish approach to mid day improved the winter season. I’m thankful now that days are getting longer and I’ll soon have evenings of light.</div><div>I’m back and I’m safe. It’s been a whirlwind at times but despite being older I’ve had a new adventure which was all the more fun because I could pay as I went and didn’t return to bills or loss. </div><div>Actually I don’t as yet know what I’d do if I was fully retired . I really enjoyed having the 4 days of work each week. The three day weekends were sufficient for play and I liked that I didn’t have to generate ideas of what I was doing to do this week because work and walking Madigan and activities of daily living structured my time. </div><div>I’m home. I ‘m still in Gypsy mode. When my brother became sick I prepared to move east sending my sailboat a head of me, applying for jobs in Ontario , to be close to my brother, and then he died. I’ve never settled since. I have regained my love for BC and Vancouver. I’m looking for ward to enjoying this amazing city and province. Being away as usual made me see what I took for granted and lost the appreciation for . I really am looking forward to being a tourist in my city once again. I have a new set of glasses.</div><div>I’ve loved the bi weekly doctors meetings. I was feeling alone and alien and know I’m apart of a great human undertaking. It was good to be back at church.</div><div>I’m supposed to be writing novels and theology and memoirs but I’m just happy to be enjoying Walden Pond. </div><div>I find myself thanking God for life, for the new day, for the air I breathe, for Madigan’s health. Yesterday , starting with the passsport to ending with the men’s meeting was a whole day of joy ‘in the flow’. Thank you God for bringing me through this safely and now helping me return to a renewed life. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for life in the spirit. Thank you for the opportunity to serve and be of service in my work as a physician, psychiatrist, and addiction specialist and the adventures I’ve undertaken along wit those pursuits. Thank you for the study and learning. Thank you for the mentors and teachers and elders. Thank you for humans. </div><div>God is good all of the time.</div><div>Thank you Jesus. </div><div><img id="id_95c2_fd0f_3831_a251" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1kBZRtCTkJEYrurPF_MfjsEbdm3qP4X4X" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 156px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_ff88_df04_3494_442e" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1hUjnPlEaEbBOaJCIiPJWPMVWb3Az3Etq" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 166px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_7991_d317_88b1_85dd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1XJY2yGkD6bHiqrP0k21v1bRFwasVcE22" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 197px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_6eb7_1c7f_34d9_671d" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1WALcdmFM7OnQKnxfN-pbWP1Aoj13QRl2" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 172px; height: auto;"></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><img id="id_e8ee_e938_cd06_11c1" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1sw6TWicKNmO5huJlQq36TDn2CxxraR8O" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 185px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_98d_d1d0_4b49_503c" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1R_FVmSQSKBcy3Xfze-wZWudPJx1pnnJp" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 204px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-25386982418192826892024-02-20T09:08:00.001-08:002024-02-22T08:18:30.321-08:00Burnaby HomecomingI’m happy to be home. I felt good crossing the border. At least after I’d been passed through customs despite Madigan humping my arm. In retrospect the distraction might well have been helpful in her loss of interest in the old guy and the creepy dog. I felt at home, Less alien. It also felt slower. Northern California had been slower after LA, then Oregon and Washington and now I was at a peaceful home pace. <div><br><div>My first irritation was the traffic slow down only to find three fire trucks , three police cars , two ambulances and a collection of boys and girls playing emergency. No evidence of a car crash. Yet the arrogance of government workers all having a laid back government privilege moment, while the working forces and myself were delayed in the reality of life. I’d just come from LA and this charade of over kill just wouldn’t cut it. I noted I was irritated and yet here I was home. My attitude of gratitude was affected instantly by one of my triggers, the countless times commuting my commute was increased by a bumper whip lash moment and ICBC legal lottery game. All the public vehicles there and a lane shut down because of their presence. I prayed and calmed myself. Get on with enjoying being in Vancouver!</div><div><br></div><div>I’d achieved my goal. The snow was gone. I’d missed another Canadian winter. I may not be rich in houses or wealth but I’m richer in summers than many. I’m thankful too. I have friends who remained in Winnipeg with its long ugly winters and terrible mosquito black fly springs. I’ve lived in the Frazer Valley and Vancouver Island with mildest winters and almost no mosquitoes and black flies. For a decade I drove most weekends for down hill skiing in Whistler but returned to the mild winter in the south. I was even winter sailing winters while living here. </div><div><br></div><div>I’ve wintered in London England, in rain, in Baja California Mexico in heat, in the terrific climate of the Northern Marianas Islands. Most years I’ve done a few weeks in Hawaii or Mexico but this year it was December and half of January in Arizona and the rest of January and most of February in California. I’m ready now for this spring that begins in March. I always associate March here with buying my Buell Blast motorcycle for a birthday and driving it for the first time. Laura who had a motorcycle license drove in the car behind me as I only had my beginner’s license.</div><div><br></div><div>I enjoyed coming back to my home spot in Burnaby greeting Mack first then neighbours Nicoleta and Ernest. I talked to others. Like friends, where people knew my name.</div><div><br></div><div>I was disappointed with Laura who had other priorities. I would have driven into the city with my big truck but I was exhausted driving and feared an accident after the success to date. I’d hoped to run over on my motorcycle but what I thought was a dead battery turned out to be just a stuck transport mode. I naturally found this out the next day when I bought a motorcycle battery tender at Canadian Tire. Putting it on the bike got the transport mode symbol. I had battery and just had to figure out how to get out of transport mode. I found the other battery charger I’d taken with me when I put the next unnecessary one in storage. </div><div><br></div><div>I spoke with Atilla about enhanced towing license and began the beginner process. I’d thought I’d do the whole thing this week but realized I didn’t have time. The priority was to get my passport renewed as it ran out this month. I was thankful to have colleagues be references and used my motorcycle to ride to London Drugs for passport photos. </div><div><br></div><div>I had a lovely ride to Coquitlam Apple Store to have the broken glass on my iPhone repaired and to have my old mini ipad restored on Apple Care. The earliest appointment on that day was in 2-3 hours so I made an appointment for the following week and traded in my I watch for the latest tough one for outdoors and scuba. I had taken to leaving my iWatch on even though it wasn’t meant for the terrains I did, like hunting on the quad . This new titanium one is suited to my lifestyle and has some features I appreciate. The watch has been really helpful with maps and directions . It’s my early birthday present,</div><div><br></div><div>Now I’m back in my camper in Burnaby. I’ve phoned everyone I need to , the Paul from Chilliwack towing, to bring back my forty foot fifth wheel, John in Chilliwack RV storage to know my plans and to prepare to get my Mini Car back and my Fifth Wheel exchanged for the camper. I’ve contacted the Hearling Life folk for hearing aid apt having lost one of mine. I even contacted the clinics to let them know I was physically present. I enjoyed talking to Adell my sister in law knowing she cares that I have arrived safe and sound.</div><div><br></div><div>It was a big to do. Another adventure. I really was able to snowbird and work from the south through the winter. The cost wasn’t great given I was working rather than being off for a month. Star link and cellular boost were terrific. I’d felt the absence and cost of going to Britain and France with Laura but this trip even with Laura joining me and seeing dentists in Mexico hasn’t been the same disruption. I’ve enjoyed working having the pleasure of motorcycling on weekends. I especially liked the long lunches and will be continuing them.. I’ve been able to walk Madigan before work , over lunch and in the evening. We have benefitted from the exercise. I’ve even learned how to access bank statements from on line and will begin sending my material to Anil ,my accountant. I feel I’ve kept up despite doing 5000 km or more of driving my home about California and Arizona and making day visits to Mexico. </div><div><br></div><div>It’s been a rush. I’ve prayed. I enjoyed St. Paul’s Church in Yuma. I was glad to see Priest Emily at St. Barnabus as I returned to give thanks. I loved visiting the Bustards, Billy, Bobby, Alex, Izek, Kendra, Kevin and Anna. I’d been on the way to dropping off stuff at the storage locker and missed the turn ending up in Surrey so visitted and was greeted by Vader their big German Shepherd type dog and the kids, Hugs from Kendra. I realized too that the stuff I was taking to the storage locker belonged better with them so they received the cd’s I’d taken from the Camper for the rainy day, the hose and pumps I had for transporting lake water to camp and the old sturdiest of them all tripod. It saved me a trip to the storage locker which needs above all to be culled. I spent 3 months without all the ‘excess’ I have in home and in storage and now I really need to lighten up. So good to see the god family and god children,</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you Jesus. Thank you God. Thank you Holy Spirit. </div><div><img id="id_808b_f8d_7ad5_c929" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1wKddbEN_aElkb7Py3jq9-y49xMXRdzsC" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 266px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_bf55_817_fd80_5992" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1S77DzwgmHGDpboh8g01aaMFfPDXmfOEc" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 264px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_50e6_4b34_dfe4_f236" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1r5JtHeFqwEviG2PyepJiWG1khZIUlLVD" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 263px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_c0ab_146c_70c0_eabb" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/11DESZ3mV59OD72KzKUbBy-YR7BNZ-KYz" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 261px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_96a0_61c3_aefc_7a73" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/14rLELfWg7P2WGvXihXfY4YknhR1LKC6V" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 254px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_47c1_15f0_f80c_a0f4" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/100VmAAvBxdKj7NIGRjlnWsNnEXyqewDi" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 257px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_e263_e247_60a7_c3ac" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1vsstgC8a1Wksiukw9eK0LL02P-orvyPZ" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 288px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_84d_eb2e_8ed7_d382" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1AOyf_TwscXpen_hPGW7HJ4eBh03KpZW5" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 248px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_21c5_ddc_361d_f33f" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1Ar6YA3HnBu4DlxohqOrTx6ud7GkTNUQk" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 251px; height: auto;"><br><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><img id="id_9645_7a06_d2ae_7ced" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1vAakt55wLloaZNgITob8itLK9sWLsVZF" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 255px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_a7ab_a90_59b7_10d5" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1y9HdikzZFO6XwrDOxMg0kVyyY28RYg99" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 265px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_b893_1180_9c16_ce8c" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1QfxwGtxu-PzMlQaxBhAnkOR9EEA4aMUf" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 272px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_7d86_13e6_fb26_5125" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1J1KW72fhuceCePoPiGvc3rRD3NBHzUPj" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 270px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_d5df_9801_1224_2521" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1Mbj0jfMe4C2GpvfHaxOpXzXsj4ysMtvB" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 312px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_7ce_8bb1_a6c3_441b" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1gp80lbXsAmzh9AIgKSTOv6pUGbkfXXEX" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 299px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_a941_52e6_6cff_4c87" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1bmxkVaKapjGA49l6hsx0chN6WmCtoc9p" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 296px; height: auto;"><br><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><br><img id="id_5e1a_c730_6976_8502" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1anPXZhY8qsToQBoHudbS3A6XCMeWBlyx" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 285px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><br><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><br><br><br><br><br><br><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div> </div></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-8108879926967449242024-02-18T09:13:00.001-08:002024-02-18T09:13:04.568-08:00Burnaby HomeI feel relaxed after the hours of driving to see a friend. It’s good to feel safe and rest. I’ve made a list of the many things I must do in the next few days. Renew passport. I arrived home under the deadline so I don’t have to get guarantors as I would if I wasn’t renewing my passport with the old one there with me when I made the appointment. I’d hoped to learn to pull my large trailer with the enhanced driver license and training. However to do that I must first get a beginner’s permit from ICBC. That’’s the most I’ll be able to do this week. I’m going to church this morning to give thanks. <div>Right now Madigan is on the table and needs a walk. I’m having coffee. I’ll phone Paul to bring back my Fifth Wheel. I’ll have to transfer the contents from this to that and get the cleaning ladies in. I also need to replace the animal destroyed couch with a new couch and maybe a smaller mattress to facilitate making the bed. Right now it’s really difficult due to the oversized mattress. </div><div>I’ll take the beginner’s test then set up the test training and road test later in the year. I really like this camper which has truly proved itself with Logan Lake, Harrison Hot Springs, Yuma and Oceanside.</div><div><br></div><div>I’m thankful to be home.</div><div>I’m feeling relaxed and healthy and leaving for Yuma I was feeling sickly and afraid I’d die of Covid. Another winter outside of Canada. What a blessing. That is rich indeed. I’ve been able to renew and am looking forward to work and the new year. Just have to stay active. I’m so pleased with the outcome of the ‘land expedition’ . I have never respected all the RV’s passing on the highway. I now appreciate what they have done. I have even greater respect for my Mom and Dad. LA freeways were a challenge. It’s the fear. Night driving and so many challenges. I loved that I could get repairs done on the road. I loved that I could stay a couple of nights off grid in National Campgrounds. I liked that I could stay at the side of the road with the camper something I couldn’t do with a big rig. It’s a whole learning process and I feel my mind has been rewired. Neuroplasticity and learning tasks.</div><div><br></div><div>I’m going to take Madigan for a walk and get on with the lists of things to do. </div><div><br></div><div>Thank you Jesus. </div><div><img id="id_7a72_2dde_5f41_9bfa" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1NDaBuJNEWVHX2xxFQi6Wb4aRT7USVeBY" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 205px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-38836164111966150752024-02-18T03:36:00.001-08:002024-02-18T21:12:53.788-08:00PrayerOur father <div><div>Who are art in heaven (haven)</div><div>Hallowed be your name</div><div>Thy kingdom come</div><div>Thy will be done</div><div>On earth as it is in heaven</div><div>Give us this day our daily bread</div><div>Forgive us our trespasses</div><div>As we forgive those who trespass against us</div><div>Lead us not into temptation</div><div>But deliver us from evil</div><div>For thine is the kingdom</div><div>The power and the glory</div><div>For ever and ever</div><div>Amen</div><div><br></div><div>God Grant me the serenity</div><div>To accept the things I cannot change </div><div>The courage to change the things I can</div><div>And the wisdom to know the difference</div><div><br></div><div>God I offer myself to thee</div><div>To build with me and to do with me as thou wilt</div><div>Relieve me of the bondage of self </div><div>That I might better do thy will</div><div>Take away my difficulties</div><div>That victory over them</div><div>May bear witness to those I would help</div><div>Of thy power, thy love and thy way of life</div><div><br></div><div>All shall be well</div><div>All shall be well </div><div>And all manner of things shall be well</div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-54316477212675236572024-02-18T03:27:00.001-08:002024-02-18T21:17:07.702-08:00PoemIt’s not the first time I’ve said you are number one <div>And she’s said you are number two</div><div>I never minded being number two</div><div>Or even three</div><div><br></div><div>But the pattern remains</div><div>I slowly find myself displaced </div><div>Somewhere after the hair dresser or the cleaning lady</div><div><br></div><div>It’s the basis of war</div><div>I believe</div><div>All these men eventually give up </div><div><br></div><div>The game of fight or fuck</div><div>Make love not war</div><div><br></div><div>She doesn’t care</div><div>She has her mirror</div><div><br></div><div>There was a time when she was life</div><div>She hardly remembers it now</div><div><br></div><div>The dementia of women is different from men</div><div>There hearts go before their minds</div><div><br></div><div>The world has become soulless </div><div><br></div><div>What do you make</div><div>Is a question of money</div><div>Not of life or love</div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-44183529311779868762024-02-18T03:08:00.001-08:002024-02-18T03:08:32.740-08:00PoemThere is no passion<div>I will schedule love for another day</div><div>Another week</div><div>Another year</div><div><br></div><div>My heart is all booked up</div><div>I have only time for money</div><div>And fear</div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-3896198430364338642024-02-18T03:02:00.001-08:002024-02-18T03:02:18.911-08:00PoemShe’s ne ver said she’s sorry<div>She’s never made amends</div><div>She’s always the victim in her story</div><div><br></div><div>She blames</div><div>Finds fault</div><div>Judged</div><div><br></div><div>Such pride</div><div>No humility</div><div> The irony is the denial</div><div> </div><div>She nirrors</div><div>And is well behaved</div><div>Wears the trappings of class</div><div>The superficial concern for appearances</div><div><br></div><div>Never the fool</div><div>Never mad</div><div>Never taking risks</div><div><br></div><div>Afraid</div><div>Always afraid</div><div>Trusting only government</div><div>Not God.</div><div><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-83374504484580270512024-02-18T02:51:00.001-08:002024-02-18T21:14:45.819-08:00PoemI drove thousands of miles<div>For an audience </div><div>She told me she was busy</div><div>To wait a week</div><div>I was not a priority</div><div><br></div><div>I’d felt that</div><div>Deep inside</div><div><br></div><div>If she lies about love </div><div>What else does she lie about</div><div><br></div><div>She doesn’t love you</div><div>Not like that</div><div>She no longer loves like that </div><div>Or has another </div><div>And lives a lie</div><div><br></div><div>She slaps your face</div><div>And is so superior</div><div>She’s always the victim</div><div>Living the life of blame </div><div>Victim ship </div><div>Self pity</div><div><br></div><div>You do this</div><div>It’s repetition compulsion</div><div>Always caring, giving, serving</div><div><br></div><div>It’s dutiful and good</div><div>Admit your fault</div><div>You lack discernment</div><div>Are generous to a fault</div><div><br></div><div>Love your neighbour as your self</div><div>Self sacrifice</div><div>Is for children and elderly</div><div>For the sick and true</div><div>Not for romantic love</div><div>She turns that to a transaction</div><div><br></div><div>She doesn’t make time for you</div><div>Her time is for more important ones</div><div>Not you</div><div>She can make a case like a lawyer</div><div><br></div><div>But love is present</div><div>Not in a week</div><div>Not tomorrow</div><div><br></div><div>The depth of the angry and unforgiving</div><div>Withholding</div><div><br></div><div>You can not see me today</div><div>Maybe in a week</div><div><br></div><div>Disdain</div><div><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-29902855420803745362024-02-12T08:39:00.001-08:002024-02-13T19:58:49.707-08:00Gold Beach RV Park, OregonI left Ventura Beach Saturday morning . I’d hoped to find a place at Santa Cruz but the RV park was full so I carried on. Santa Cruz was inviting and I could have checked around for other RV parks but I confess I had a desire to get home. Horse to barn. I also saw getting though San Francisco as the last challenge. Cities with 10 plus wide freeways were intense. <div>I travelled through Oakland missing downtown and the Golden Gate Bridge somehow. I never left freeways but passed over a lot of bridges until recognised San Rafael where I once lived. I thought fondly of my buddy there , a brilliant guy who I’d discussed gravity and life with in kitchens and garages fixing his motorcycle. One of the good guys. </div><div> I have depended on the electronic map plotter on the Ford F350. What a life saver. The trip has been as pilots say, “flying by instruments’ all the way. I can’t imagine how I did this decades back with hand held maps. </div><div>I continued north having put Bodego in my plotter, I saw some great sunsets near there then got back on the 101. I eventually pulled off the road a ways and crashed. I love having my own camper. We woke before dawn and Madigan got a chance to pee before we were heading towards Eureka. I stopped at the MacDonalds for egg sausage McMuffins, coffee and hash browns. Unfortunately they don’t make the burgers Madigan loves till after 11 am. We did find his favourite wet Food, Tiki Greece and Tiki France. I cleared that out while he visited with a Maltese poodle. </div><div>We passed through the winding dark Redwood Highway, a motorcyclists dream. I loved doing it in little cars but was not so excited in a truck with top heavy camper. I passed a herd of Elk in Elk Valley. Madigan was really interested.</div><div>I never tire of the Northern California Beaches with the wild crashing waves and surreal coast. We passed on to the Oregon Beaches I love this whole stretch since my previous cockapoo Gilbert having had eye surgery became blind and anxious till I brought him. Here . Sailing we’d played on beaches. So here he was in known territory and finally safe to run after banging into everything. He ran free doing circles around us. Laura and I cried to see his joy. </div><div>Madigan likes the beaches but he’s happy to run free everywhere. </div><div>I was glad to pass out of California. Every time I visit I find it less appealing, more chaos. ‘Are you going to San Francisco. If you are you’d better wear flowers in your hair’ had been the siren call the summer of the hippy. I hitchhiked there from the Colorado Peace and Love Festival with my first wife, Baiba, the most beautiful girl in the world. She was my Bobby McGee then and we’d arrived in the streets of San Francisco and danced in the streets to Gracie Slick’s psychedelic rock. Baiba had painted love on my forehead with red lipstick. It was the boomer generation and as far as the eye could see there were young people. We’d travel north to Vancouver then fly to London England and bicycle across Europe. Those were heady days and the fondest memories. </div><div>Now I’d been back to San Francisco with two separate wives and lived in Marin with a girlfriend and come back some more with my present girlfriend Laura of 24 years of grateful love and care. I’d sailed the coast of California in the SV Giri and returned later alone to San Francisco Bay to outfit before sailing under the Golden Gate Bridge on the Christmas Passage to Hawaii through northern Pacific winter hurricanes. I love California and loved my time in Oceanside but was glad to get to Oregon. It’s the beginning of the pristine north for me. I miss Canada and love the coast highway. 10 hours to go and I’ll be back home,</div><div>Gol Beach RV Park was a find. The manager was welcoming and it’s truly a bit of heaven on earth with the greatest view of Oregon beaches and crashing waves, seagulls and sea air, </div><div><img id="id_50c0_8752_4c1f_2b3b" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1cx12mt1YQoqt53OMR1X1KgaSpNgL42hq" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 223px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_a968_3bf9_31df_3ef0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1m3aiArfxiKIiyg1iO_d5BNLx70YwoxyD" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 218px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_6cd1_284e_ee05_56cd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1YpZIfd9ssbrGghj5qM-dV9Wj2pWvWAQt" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 259px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_8e5e_6d00_d507_8475" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1mCc39NjO-Ks3d3Hbb0v4vDQ-UKYS047o" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 303px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_c611_bb55_799a_16ba" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/13Fdmvb6eDjqlbKDjt3fUKlSGxQqZ6hVf" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 303px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_b80d_b7f3_1ad1_dafe" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1R61wXkxBwzJ2f0Jk9wc-Yfc2ZJJuXKVU" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 310px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><img id="id_3305_ddb4_c571_1764" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1Nabv1NofTZM0RYizwy8anEFF7hV_P4Um" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 267px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_b3be_ae3f_77a0_6d97" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1NrJOWbFHfs58auabjh3HCXKzbfWtfPav" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 291px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_7a1a_5454_52ed_ab32" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1KRTIOpTJF6UA1tkt0Yh9-jFpxVREbg0q" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 284px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><img id="id_a6fe_5cb0_9b43_99c0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1eMxw17Yg_-Qh40EMiDtPr9fHKi4cS6p8" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 280px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_b3b8_2f56_bffd_8f0f" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1J9wdCFts_sCiHYuo8QDQbiVDPswk4R4i" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 260px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_71f1_1d6e_6552_e765" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/19nG781csU4Ida1u5EulMWRm5M8BsFzQP" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 259px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><br><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-71976485094930210362024-02-09T08:37:00.001-08:002024-02-09T08:37:09.271-08:00Oceanside - leavingI loaded the Harley Davidson Nightster Special on the front rack yesterday by myself. I’d taken off the brake which stopped my forward motion a foot from the end. That made pushing it on easy. Only when I had the Harley tied down it was obvious that tire break provided a lot of stability. Luckily I was able to bolt it back on,<div>I completed the day of virtual work yesterday. The rain stopped so Madigan and I could go for the Hawaiian Barbecue we both enjoy. I had the umbrella and had to use it on the way back,</div><div>This morning it’s not raining and the sun is out. I’m packed and just have to take down the Starlink to leave. I really enjoyed my stay here, I especially liked the walk to the coast along the little river where I saw the large King Fisher and took pictures of the Egrets, Twice I had breakfast at the Buccaneer Cafe, California Burito. The views of the coast was spectacular and several times I walked down to watch the waves and sea birds. </div><div>On the weekend I returned to the Pier where I’d first stopped when I arrived. The surfer and sail surfers were out. The Pelicans were tremendous. I loved the happy sea lions contented in their close proximity. I loved motorcycling about Oceanside I’m wearing the hoodie I bought at Breezy. </div><div>All round I had a good time here despite this last week of storm and rain with daily warnings of flooding and road wash outs. The weather prospect is better today with sunshine tomorrow I’m planning on getting past LA and stopping somewhere before San Francisco. The temperature drops at San Fran so I’ll leave that for the final run starting next Friday I think unless I enjoy the drive a lot this weekend. I’ve 20 hours of driving and want to stay on the historic scenic 101 but may go over to the I5 if traffic’s is an issue.</div><div><img id="id_51c5_af4c_1b18_edec" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1YVNYZQERGkUMTSFiVKUYhyiPmRRjfapX" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 130px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_e4eb_30ba_db97_63fd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1u77_ZZRqDyalhBq_bll28PvDQ7rYx3qd" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 202px; height: auto;"><br><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><img id="id_e896_41c7_5e3c_9377" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/13ftvqhtyamNfHlBImrFUxr6g-klDBhWs" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 179px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><br></div><div><img id="id_e933_ad4_a81e_826" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1EjAgSeCDNI6Yl3RNQRxiRNHYU5sP8F67" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 147px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_6fdb_55ee_70_d7c5" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1-seub5biteUsktX58_rsCKiG8L8daowZ" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 176px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_d07d_2881_afe3_a129" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1e2qrEYo-3ghoReA572S5aPXgYxsH8CVw" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 193px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_2691_7369_45ed_4739" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1UJ5XmWp7y4w6xxan44_UggnRLLgORnTY" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 201px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_e8a4_479c_7e46_30dd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1liTkM4DJNcdBKJfdBcIhmcA1KhCUAJ_3" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 222px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><img id="id_ff50_1800_b2fc_b7b7" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1lp8MhPVSCCGD7SMrmEm23A6_Jh62r6-z" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 208px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_34b8_53e9_baa5_2f30" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1d-_1i_sxazxHCyBEPlkURuJFVEZ5LoLx" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 223px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_7756_e193_8f21_9a77" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1oLMMqW8CUkiLktxOn5vIE6hjVC_XF_AK" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 216px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_f950_45e1_105e_3b04" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1qDYdJjhNneDUnHLeeRwkzOHAylnF0cSi" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 217px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_4faa_397e_920_9dcf" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1D4_gUCcGGIA-TM8L7hCm06y1izYu8mQ5" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 211px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_5c9f_fbda_4bde_9a73" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1tzPBxjLhpx-slExFG5u88e1Qi-JshLbK" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 217px; height: auto;"></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-66135501331312700282024-02-07T08:42:00.001-08:002024-02-07T08:43:06.007-08:00Oceanside - rain storms continueSeveral times through the night I was worken by the hard deluge. Heavy loud raining and winds shaking the camper. It only lasted a half hour and then lessened to steady rain. I got up to pee, reassured Madigan and went back to sleep. This morning I’m tired but thankful that the clouds broke and the sun came out, This gave me time to walk Madigan who started the day well with a big poop and lots of sniffing, He’s happy and having his morning nap on the table. I’ve had a coffee and texted Laura <div>The rains come and go with moments of sun. Oceanside weather reports and warnings of flooding continue. Laura says Mexico is having problems now. The Pineappe Express.</div><div>I am hoping to leave Friday but the weather report says that this weather may continue till Saturday. I’m ready to move on,</div><div>People I talk to ask how my ‘vacation’ is? And a part of me shudders. I work Monday to Thursday virtual, a 35 hour work week, part time considering a lifetime of 80 to 120 hour work week. I’ve not have a regular government or union job. I’ve been a self employed consultant and identify with the truckers and the farmers now who are being attacked by big government. All of us who are the workers have carried this cancers of tax and regulations that no longer, in my opinion, contributes. There’s a sweet spot between left and right, communists and capitalism. Canada is now ‘far left’ with censorship, propaganda working for WEF and Beijing with Trudeau devastating the working middle class and western canada. The slackards of privilege white French Quebec continue to raise thee cost of everything Canadian. There’s now an increasing white and blue collar welfare,</div><div>I’m not on ‘vacation’ four days a week but yes my weekends are in Paradise. I’m thankful for that. It’s taken a lot of saving and working to here and to be consistently supportive of others. I don’t think many understand what ‘steady eddies’ like I am. I also don’t have sickleave , benefits , pension, or days off. The media is dominated by CBC Pravda type corruptions and never praises the people who work two and three jobs. I’ve done that most of my life and certainly did it for school and now so many of my patients are the unsung hero’s working those jobs and doing night school all the while a trust fund arrogant toddler full of evil and corruption abused the old stock Canadian values and wars on the people who live here and made this country. All the institutions developed based on Judeo Christian ,western and protestant work ethic are being taken over by those who come from countries of slaves and cowards who haven’t stood up to their royality or dictatorship so just see ‘every man’ for himself . I loved Maher’s utube on Musical Materialism. The descent into money and money as all. </div><div>Now I’m striving to be better, I haven’t done St. Francis or Buddha. I’ve worked and served and now deal with the resentment that Trudeau as his father before him abuse the elderly and dazzle the young, Was it always that young people could be conned by glitter and didn’t understand substance. I miss my Mom and Dad who were the salt of the earth and the karma of my experience today is my lack of appreciation for their wisdom. I was no better than the young today but my youth ended at 25 and I see so many who are playing teen ager like the PM well into their 30’s and 40’s. </div><div>My own fiscal problems were related to marrying women who themselves had no appreciation of economics or self restraint but looking back I see they learned. We learned from our time together. When we love we share traits and lessons. The gullible becomes toughened by the cynical and antisocial, I still catch myself blaming and must repeatedly remember that my ex’s gained and lost as much with me as I with them. The shame in the world today is the cultural Marxism of selected ‘scapegoats’ in their victim/victimizer games, with divorced men being evil and divorced women being long suffering. It’s the black and white game and here I’m doing the young and old, All the divide and conquer that fuels the left and our Liberal government is so easy to fall into.</div><div>Meanwhile I’m in comfort here. With my coffee maker refridgerator hot water tank and heater, I’ve Star Linkk and Apple Computer and IPad. I love zoom and doxy.me. My dog is well. I’m well. The rain comes and goes and doesn’t interfere in today. I am avoiding riding my motorcycle and talking short walks but it’s warm and most of day I have only the screen door closed. </div><div>Thank you God for all my blessings. Help me increase in an Attitude of Gratitude and grow in my understanding and love for all in the world. Guide me and show me the way. Lead me today. Help me criticize less and create more. Thank you</div><img id="id_ab97_2cf8_4588_5986" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1N92cPzjagBZMhZPxZAh43sik93soNZUT" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 188px; height: auto;"><br><br><div><img id="id_60fe_f7b3_8945_dd8c" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1tTQmXCDtwdzEtBD5pLt73s5Wr6y8TII4" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 210px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_8c7d_9eef_ebb2_9579" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1h0Q_rYwAvU5GWc9CJxY_79QYRHDgsEaT" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 208px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_ea44_81b3_25d6_822d" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1_ZgVS8hd13kN5aQHMzhYj1Ja5PtkFGWr" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 197px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-36260657655662788082024-02-06T08:36:00.001-08:002024-02-06T08:36:26.385-08:00Oceanside - morning reprieve from rainThank you Lord for this day. Thank you for the night of rest. Thank you for this Adventurer camper that saw me through these days of deluge. Thank you for the lack of leaks. Thank you for the dry. Thank you for Madigan who greets me each morning when I climb down from the camper bed, his tail wagging and body squirming. Thank you for the toilet and shower and running hot and cold water. Thank you for my eyes and sight and sensation, Thank you for this world and the opportunity to serve you.<div>Thank you for prayer and meditation Thank you for fond thoughts of Laura, family and friends. Thank you for Adell, Graeme, Andrew , Alan, Tanya, Megan. Thank you for the dogs Thank you for Mack and Murray, Peter, Kevin and Anna, Dave and the god kids. Thank you for Lydia, Gary and Mary Lou, Belinda and Karen and Ruby. Thank you for all the people in my life. Especially thank you for the children Aim and Mark’s son and daughter, Finn and Elliott, Izzie, Alex, Kendra Bobby, Willie. </div><div>Thank you for communication and technology. Thank you for the chance to be of service. Thank you for my health and work. Thank you for this day. Thank you Lord for all your blessing, Thank you for spirituality, Thank you for scripture, Thank you for John and George and Vivian. Thank you for Willie, Phillip and Dr. Lam. Thank you for Christ Church Cathedral, and St. Barnabus. Thank you for Emily. Thank for patients and the chance to be of service. Help me be the best doctor I can be today,</div><div>Thank you for energy and the matrix. Thank you for flux and Heisenberg. Thank you for Einstein and Shakespeare. Thank you for Bach and weather reports and police and firefighters Thank you for nurses and hospitals. Thank you for roads and maintenance. Be with those suffering today due to the storm and floods. May the weather clear that I can continue my journey safely north this weekend, Thank you for this time in the south,</div><div>Thank you for AA and sobriety, Thank you for George, Dean, Stan, Mario, all the guys. Thank you for Bill. Thank you for people. Thank you for namaste. Thank you for interconnection and the glue of creation. Thank you for neurons and glial cells, Thank you for electricity and thermodynamics, Thank you for this day Lord. ODAAT. Thank you for the present. May I keep my head in the same place and time as my ass is.</div><div>Thank you again for Laura , I do look forward to being with her again. It gives me a warm feeling in my chest and so many fond thoughts pass through my mind not to mention that happy genitals. I just worry that Madigan won’t let me alone with her when we return, I am thankful for him as my buddy and partner in this adventure, Thank you for his enthusiasm and presence,</div><div>Thank you God for this life,</div><div>Thank you God for today</div><div>Thank you Jesus. </div><div><img id="id_978c_a113_84bd_7493" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1n-6NJwyQim-JgdbFbICA5tnFJOVKFxHY" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 209px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_315_bbd3_767c_4b16" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1iFDeIqdT163X2uJVh1C1VSk5a0U-go3U" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 248px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_6c38_7bc1_f1c2_bed" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1WG1PHocGQfzEje_1vEKrPp8SRSjEKtiK" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 266px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_a3a6_4a8c_f45a_dda0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1MIJUtPkbVn5SjTUL-dRH8j-rOIqEJGgt" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 247px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_f7f5_6d65_93ca_e978" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/15bSlsDxRwXgYqWtiGUBN8-hNdwTkk_gk" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 246px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_c955_f98f_d54b_82eb" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1PO3fp20G3z8VdJ8NNA1rbla7_tHLD929" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 255px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_3334_8544_7036_224e" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1-rN849MaoRXPMid4AJoj-Z-gd-shcaID" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 167px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><br><br></div><img id="id_2dff_9098_2bd4_e4ae" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1S4ENfqsnTYU2Rkj2InHOeYd1Rg8sRG8X" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 224px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_7fe6_baec_6c58_47a4" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1Grt9KoqnDpBNdgfXHPlkccNm6HWUggwO" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 244px; height: auto;"><br><br>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-70959456799104754982024-02-04T09:20:00.001-08:002024-02-04T09:34:17.228-08:00Frazier Farms - Oceanside, CaliforniaYesterday afternoon I found Frazier Farms up Oceanside Blvd. What an organic food treat of treats. In Vancouver we have Choices and Urban Fare which I really enjoy shopping at. Safeway and other big chains are obviously good enough. Frazier Farms is Choices on steroids. I just loved the variety foods. <div><br></div><div>I was there for bread and bought the most delicious Rosemary Asiago Focaccia Rolls. I wanted eggs too and the choices were myriad. The competing labelling was something else. Ultimately I bought the ‘free range personally raised by our children in our backyard hand fed flies’ eggs. I’m looking forward to making eggs Benedict. They’re way too special for mere hard boiled or scrambled. I wanted rice too. There wasn’t just brown or white but an infinite variety from around the world as well as local. I settled for Organic California Brown Basmati rice. </div><div><br></div><div>I also wanted some cold cuts for sandwich’s, a change from the salami. I chose Applewood Smoked Ham and Kretschmar Roast Beef. They didn’t appear to have any bologna. I didn’t see any Old Cheddar so bought Prima Donna Old cheese. Such a range and so typically California. <div><br></div><div>At checkout they didn’t ask me to do the work but packed my food bullion in paper bags for me. I took them gingerly to my Harley motorcycle and transferred the precious goods to saddlebags. It was a short sweet ride back to Oceanside RV park my stomach grumbling and saliva drooling out of the sides of my mouth and helmet. No doubt the locals thought I was frothing. I like to write home that I’m roughing it camping at Oceanside RV park. Frazier Farms foods will obviously add to my exquisite suffering.</div><div> </div><div>I’d told the check out girl that I really enjoyed Frazier Farms. I enjoyed her happy employee reply, « I love seeing people’s amazement when they first come here. ». She beamed</div><div><br></div><div>As soon as I unpacked my motorcycle I peeled and ate the most delicious grapefruit sized orange. </div><div><br></div><div>The song, California Dreaming jumps right into my brain, along with the Classic Beach Boy tunes like California girls. I can’t help but notice Oceanside has a lot of beautiful young girls and boys. When I passed through San Francisco on the way here the people looked like a cross section of other big American cities. Homogenizing globalism was eating away the once unique city of my youth. Oceanside however retains a taste of the San Francisco of my 20’s when the baby boom peaked. We were dancing in the streets with flowers in our hair. </div><div><br></div><div>Obviously lots of hard working parents in this neighbourhood as ours were back then. The older folk like me are mostly walking their designer dogs looking tanned and fit after attending all those yoga studios and spas. Still haven’t seen any obesity. Frazier Farms provides less bulk and more choice and quality for the price. Oceanside is definitely a tasty bit of heaven on earth.</div><div> </div></div><div><img id="id_d556_279d_d979_57f8" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1UKP13ScBpO_-Pk5Zhk23MAx12V8PFqhv" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 276px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-78838737301698904452024-02-03T10:54:00.001-08:002024-02-03T11:06:05.900-08:00Oceanside, CaliforniaThe sunrises and sunset here are heaven. Orange, yellow, gold, red canvases painted daily by the master. Coming off 101 I drove to the Pier. What a view! Pelicans, egrets, sea lions, fishing boats, sailboats, and surfers. It was a visual feast. A Pamela Anderson kind of beach too. <div>The halibut fish sandwich from the daily catch market was delicious. My cockapoo Madigan savoured the myriad of sniffs while I gloried in the seaside scenes of picnics and bright blue skies. When the seas were high the surfers ruled. When the winds were high the multi coloured sail kites provided the visual delights.<div>I am staying at the Oceanside RV Park across from Tracy’s Piercings. It’s a really uptown place for my F350 Ford ,Adventurer Camper and Harley Nightster Special. Used for fishing trips in Northern Canada they’ve seen less orderly surroundings. Extremely helpful administration and superb facilities. Very dog friendly. </div><div>The Oceanside community caters to young and old and very young looking old. There’s all manner of fitness places providing a wide range of activities Vital Climbing Gym ,the Nevarez Boxing Centre, Axe fitness so many more. There’s no evidence of the American obesity epidemic here, or unsafe streets. I loved walking the dog in the area along the beach and on the paths leading to the beach. </div><div>In addition to the exotic Tracy’s Piercings and Marine tattoos , there’s all manner of the traditional California yoga, therapeutic massage and beauty rest studios. There’s the big mall with Walmart and Better Buy on the other side of the I5 but along the coast it’s just small speciality food shops and little stores. There’s the widest range restaurants but with a dog ,I prefer take out places. There’s quite the variety. Vietnamese Pho and Hawaiian Barbecue are really good. As would be expected there are countless gift stores and hand made art along with galleries of the finest California. Personally I liked Breeza with it’s great tourist gifts and clothing. I liked the salty hoodies and unique colourful beach bags.</div><div>Right now I’ve laundry being done at the nearby laundry for a great price . I’m planning on walking the dog down to the coast and then loading him into his box on the back of my Harley for another ride about the neighbourhood. It’s really quaint. The houses are all shapes and sizes individualistic from hacienda style to modern and a lot of what looks like they started as seasonal beach cottages only to expand into luxury homes. </div><div>I like the coastal churches and am intrigued by one called the Rythym Church. That must be stomping for Sunday Services .</div><div>What a wonderful place to visit. My friend loves Carlsburg that’s the next place south. I’d been to Encinatas 20 minutes further and loved it too. The Self Realization Fellowship ashram is there. Right now I’m loving Oceanside. For those who love God in nature this place is heaven. </div><div> So glad to have found it thanks to a call to the Good Sam Club accredited Oceanside RV Resort. The staff enthusiasm was well placed. </div></div><div><img id="id_d3da_4ab_b543_1200" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1BpPwjnwnWgs8M54V40lgVvMP-b_LhXnQ" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 155px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_89e4_462f_a5d_cbd4" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/14RmN1opJHMupy-N-gsIDPeeBF_mLkPhi" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 164px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div><div><img id="id_5484_b724_8eb1_ef3f" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1BUwqPv28OwAy9lWNrAqW4-uUUPIPpE6U" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 204px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_81ad_de01_316_9f5c" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/12ph2zoZoCfUUh5pisTthYpQNJCCTiwgq" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 187px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_5de0_2345_4745_252e" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1iQ-HlYGz2if4z3pETMJ1y0HRqG6atvB6" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 190px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_3fa2_281c_a61a_9906" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1FjAjOXtl2yVRNg-0Ng7KomHZ8_9XoTPD" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 187px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_8a90_58f6_e391_6726" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1pJ74zj2eV6dqFRGyPEBkkDi21gdixXGI" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 185px; height: auto;"></div><div><img id="id_1a45_79ac_64d8_fb5e" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1NVupfWEAbz9NYJmyzHVpPL38PuqaMydK" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 194px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_b6b2_e6bc_6d55_225b" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1ic6JeDsW8vJGobGLzf0bwkA0G1B3Bxhb" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 196px; height: auto;"><br><img id="id_7bc5_6fad_aaab_a041" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1jbedm7jptAhkWWVn9l947_4sjvJi9YJc" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 200px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><img id="id_9fc4_824f_acac_1c58" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1dSYLwkUxWn60Nkhuikg5YjoePen8PM8C" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 198px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_5809_7a89_d326_a149" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1YbsiqQvsRnE3IWM1ZvjcNQI-Tbi7laYa" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 201px; height: auto;"><br><br><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span><img id="id_18d_97cd_e351_d97f" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1eH7IkVqFa7rC6Kx0qpeyJXaV1Q9MrgfG" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 194px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_5ad8_6e17_d45e_fb2f" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1nA3iOScIt_AXkwQ1W7l6CVpw4GaiMQjD" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 191px; height: auto;"><br><br></div><div><img id="id_c6ad_2056_ee84_af1b" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1-CWkiPENjD5Vmu_84G66AIqRVig77Y0s" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 244px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_e1c2_9c9f_5cfd_9406" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1cvoRIA4GgO8g5gxx6Bb427vp-5tpwM7M" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 257px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-9822106278415352672024-01-28T07:48:00.001-08:002024-01-28T07:48:32.655-08:00Yuma - leavingI’ve been out of sorts a few days.I’ve been homesick, missing Laura. I got a call from Bonita Mesa at the worst time. I was driving my truck to an apt at Bill Alexander and couldn’t find the dealership my address a number off. I’d phoned them and was hoping they’d phone me. I don’t normally answer the phone driving but I did.<div>What sounded like a young girl said,</div><div>“This is Bonita Mesa RV, you have to move your truck. “</div><div>“I’m driving my truck right now” I said,</div><div>“You have to move your motorcycle then”</div><div>“I can do that but I’m going to an appointment and I won’t be back for a couple of hours.”</div><div>“You have to move your camper too”</div><div>Now I was upset, I’d been there 2 months and it’s not a little deal to unload and load a camper and stow and I stow gear. I had paid for another two week.’</div><div>Then the manager came on. Deep mail voice.</div><div>“We’re having 20 new units coming in and you’re in the wrong place taking up one and a half units. You should n’t be parked there.”</div><div>Your staff put me int this place,”</div><div>“Do you know which staff”.</div><div>I should have pulled over. I don’t know who their staff are. Was he suggesting I was lying. </div><div>“Excuse me I’m unable to move my unit. It sounds like you’ve made a mistake. If I’m going to pack up and load up to move a space then I’m going to leave Bonita Mesa and go elsewhere. Whether I move a foot or a mile is all the same with a camper loading and stowing. </div><div>“You’re right we made a mistake.,When would you be able to move,”</div><div>I normally move on Friday since I’m busy the rest of the week. </div><div>“Okay we can work with that We can work this out after the weekend,’. </div><div><br></div><div>With that he was gone. I’d been falsely acused and ambushed and never received an apology just orders and accusations,</div><div>I had missed the Bill Alexander Ford Dearlers ship and was late for the appointment. They were great. The inspection, lube and such, fluid flush and change was going to take a couple of hours and they recommended a great sandwich restaurant where I sat outside with Madigan and ate a Reuben.</div><div><br></div><div>I actually fume,</div><div><br></div><div>After the terrific experience with the really helpful Bill Alexander folk I headed back to Bonita. Mesa. I could not see the problem. I was partied in 115 and I was connected to the 115 outlet . The fellow in the camp who’s there for weekend stuff came by and told me they wanted me to move a car width sideways. They were planning on parking a vehicle in my space beside my truck because I was parking my truck in front of the camper and if I moved a space over they could pack in a trailer with the extra vehicle in my space.</div><div><br></div><div>I called Laura. I’d packed up and now only had to load the Motorcycle to leave. </div><div>“I think they’ve overbooked. Greedy people, So sad. I liked it there.’</div><div>‘I did too but it’s like there’s a cloud over the experience, ‘ I feel like I’ve seen the underbelly and don’t know what their ‘mood’ or treatment of me will be now I’ve resisted being bullied.’ I wonder too when things like this happen if it isn’t God telling me to move , that I’ve been too longer here . I almost feel like coming home. The weather is nice but I’m feeling lonely. </div><div><br></div><div>I told my friends from home I meditated with, “God tested my serenity and I failed. I’m not in the present like Elkhart Tolle ‘power of now’ but keep replaying the conversation and the absurdity of the beginning, blaming and the lack of amends. I called my academic military friend in Washington and told him </div><div><br></div><div>“It’s like I’m doing all this self development work, learning not to guilt, shame or blame, and keeping my side of the street clean and suddenly I’m assailed by an ape. Everyone likes me because I shower each day and smell nice but they don’t even bathe,”</div><div>He laughed and asked, “what’s the positive?”</div><div> </div><div>“Im humbled . I ‘ve still got more work to do on maintaining peace of mind. I might have thought I was a Navy Seal of Serenity but I’m still in boot camp. More work to do but also maybe I am supposed to move. My musician friend would say, “Ive been on this stationary scene too long,”</div><div><br></div><div>I’m always anxious loading the camper but it went well and another guy from Canada walked by and gave me some advice for straightening the load. Nice guy. We talked of motorcycles. </div><div><br></div><div>Now all I needed to do was load my Harley. I packed Madigan on the back in his box and had a great ride to Bobby’s Territorial Harley in Yuma. </div><div><br></div><div>“I had problem with the transport mode on my way down , I had to take out the main fuse to stop my new Nightster Specail alarming. Could you go over that with me again. ‘</div><div><br></div><div>‘The repair guy was great showed me how to do it. The old way was pressing both turn signals where as with the 2023 edition both turn signals are on one so I had to hold down a different button. It worked. One anxiety reduce. One step at a time. </div><div><br></div><div>Now Im here this morning, having had a coffee and thinking I’ll shower then load up the water tank and empty the holding tank and try loading the harley on its front rack. It’s about 9. People are about and in the past I’ve had a challenge getting it to snug in the last foot. I’ve loosened the blockage so it should be a problem. </div><div><br></div><div>But if the harley was loaded then leaving might well be the answer. I think I’d feel better to be heading home because I really do miss Canada and friends so heading it that direction will help the homesickness. Despite being a Gypsy at times I often get enough travelling and am ready to be back in my known comfortable world. </div><div><br></div><div>I really have enjoyed Bonita Mesa until last night and Yuma has been great so I think it’s just time for me to be moving on. I have to remember to take down the Star Link satellite and stow that. I worry I”ll head out without doing that. So many moving parts. </div><div><br></div><div>Madigan is sleeping on the table. He’s had a great time in the Dessert. San Diego is only a few hours a way a way. There’s place along the route too. I really should see more.</div><div><br></div><div>I drove my Harley over toe. </div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2142327341608998711.post-83709456266134945612024-01-26T07:46:00.001-08:002024-01-26T08:00:30.387-08:00Yuma - loveI ward off fear every day. I like that religion is for those who have never been to hell and spirituality for those who have been and don’t want to go back. My very life and being and mind were threatened by a satanic man . I knew fear. I’d seen the torture provided in the name of justice. I’d witnessed the grossest abuse of power. I was afraid. I was experiencing ‘incomprehenible demoralization’ and cried out to Jesus. I had felt beyond Grace. I felt every path I took was blocked. I thought ‘how could all these bad things be happening to a good guy like me’. I felt the depth of betrayal and knew terror and despair. I cried out to Jesus. I cried out to God. <div><br></div><div>“My God My God why hast thou forsaken me?” “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?’ I was in the long dark night of the soul. </div><div><br></div><div>I survived. Later I’d be in a hurricane in winter at sea, days inside of the washing machine like sail boat unable to find comfort, totally at the mercy. I felt then the same physically as I’d felt imprisoned by enemies. This time I did not feel I was alone or that I had done wrong. I felt close with God. I’d not turned my back on Jesus but knew he was with me. I had faith and trust in the Lord. I’d clung to him in the darkest of times and been rewarded. I’d confessed my sins. I was no longer alone and alienated. I’d been the Prodigal Son returning to my family. I’d sought the guidance and leadership of Christian missionary doctors and Christian professors, and spiritual friends. I’d begun the path back to the god of my understanding. I once again sought to know daily God and God’s will for me. I prayed daily and eventually ceaselessly as St. Paul had taught. I meditated as I had long ago learned. I lived. I humbly turned my will and my life over to God. I accepted I was powerless over alcohol and drugs and that my life had become unmanageable. I found the lost strength and hope within me. I attended church and meetings and studies. I pilgrimaged to the Holy Lands and prayed in the places of worship of the holy. I literally let go and let God. </div><div><br></div><div>I contrast the time I have today with that turning point decades ago. I’d put my faith in romance back then and looked to sex and drugs and rock and roll for answers. Today I talk directly with God and ask for his forgiveness and guidance. Each day I begin the day in gratitude and ask for the presence of Jesus Christ in my life. I pray to God and the saints of all religions . I am a seeker and yet trust in the Hound of Heaven. I know the footprints in the sand and see the hand prints of God in my life. Theres’ a fourth dimension I often stumble into. . That flow or consciousness that is beyond all human understanding, the transscendence. I fear at times I am a spiritual consumer seeking the nectar of God. It is a journey and destination. I accept I am in this life and enjoy food, .exercise, sleep and fellowship that is itself Godly. I live in this world but I ‘ m not of this world. I am a child of God but I am vigilant, less naive, older. </div><div><br></div><div>I dreamed of being given marijuana by a taxi driver last night. I took the package and woke. I still have dreams like that, not using, but as C.S. Lewis say thinking that God could be found in the wall of his creation. I want direct contact with God . The old tantric path was thoroughly explored. The journey is forward not back. It served its time back when. Now it has no future. I don’t know why it came to me out of my memories, as a tease or temptation. I imagine it was because I ‘ve been watching 007 and revisiting the 60’s. I’m remembering youth and love and dancing in the streets of San Francisco with flowers in our hair. I’m reading a book on the history of Northern Africa and remembering being in the Kazbah, me and Bobby McGee. I’m grieving my youth. </div><div><br></div><div>Today I’m old and life has been a grand adventure with my Doystoeyski encounter with the sophisticated devil who offered me a choice. I look the road I did and the one he din’t not know. Now I’m feeling sometimes that I’m in Heaven’s waiting room but I know that’s decades a head. It’s the weariness that assails me now sometimes. I remember the single footprints in the sand then. I say All shall be well, all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. I remember Hal’s teachings on an Attitude of Gratitude. I try to get over myself. I try to keep my head in the same room as my ass. I know God is in the present. </div><div><br></div><div>It’s best then I go for a walk. My dog is always happy to walk with me. He’s a great teacher. </div><div><br></div><div>Thank you God for rescuing me from myself. Thank you God for loving me as father and mother and giving me a father and mother who loved and taught me love. . Thank you God for this life of mystery and adventure. Thank you for the journey, companions and memories. Help me do my best today, Grant me serenity, courage and wisdom. </div><div><br></div><div><img id="id_bf28_9c6e_f1b6_9126" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/13e064iJ9V40HIskSvg1E-XJwBxM8p7ix" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 149px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_8154_945b_1bd_cf16" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/105v7zgVt425rfmGeYd56tLoqnBDc4lpe" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 159px; height: auto;"><br><br><img id="id_b2a0_fffa_6b27_5c06" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/13EXwQsHYm8vxTAfu71dUed4h0GFnbCKr" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 161px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div>haykindhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07390376509834647445noreply@blogger.com0