Friday, February 3, 2012

I don't know but I'm Celtic Canadian and Canada is perfect

I like to criticize authority.  In the Celtic Canadian home all problems could be laid first at the feet of the weather, or the weatherman, and then the government, unless of course you voted for that government.  This is because Scottish people, and worse even the Irish Catholics, were under the rule of the dastardly English, a depraved lowland people so utterly without morality or character as to have Scots preferring the French or Spanish for allies.  A race of people has to be deeply decadent and downright evil as to have the French seem superior. The Spanish weren't much better.
Then Scots moved to Canada as did the Irish and French and collectively left of the worst of the English behind.  No King or Queen of Europe moved it's palace to Canada and Canadians collectively were quite thankful for this.  Soon even Germans were coming to Canada and everyone was happy while Canada was a Dominion.  We paid England to stay away and Quebec as a province was content to do the jig and play the violin as far from Paris as a happy people could be.  Life was good in the old days.
Lots of furs and mines while  people smoked tobacco drank excessively and hunted and fished.  What could be better?  Anything necessary, even brides, could be obtained by mail order.  The Chinese had their opium and East Indians hadn't yet realized Canada was the greatest country in the world.  There was logging and wheatfields and when the Europeans got into wars Canadians were called upon to bail them out.  Australians kicked ass as good as the Canadians but the Gurkas and Africanners impressed everyone except the Canadian Indian warriors who terrified the Germans as much as the allies.
Canadian women were the best mothers and grand mothers in the war, became the best navy mechanics and air plane domestic pilots before being collectively condemned by radical feminists as powerless womb slaves.  This was ironic given Queen Elizabeth ruled the country, was thorougly a lady,  and never felt deprived or a victim a day of her royal life.
Now because Americans were outlaws and revolutionaries and bootleggers and thieves they refused to help Churchill in the war until the free world and the Nazi and Russians had almost killed each other.  Only because the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbour and the British Navy and the Australians knew how to fight Asians did the Americans belatedly enter the war as paid mercensaries.  Later they did some lend lease thing and set up the world banking system the way the English had done centuries before with the Scots and Irish. "We get everything and you get what we don't want." banking.
Canadians were a mouse and Americans were an elephant but Canadians kicked American ass when they tried to invade Canada and annex it in 1812.  We tried to give them Quebec for the last few decades but even America wasn't stupid enough to take it.   They already had enough trouble with Califorinia and Washington, DC.  French Canadians are much loved people but like anyone who gets infected with politics they can become zombies.
So Scottish Canadians and all other Canadians realized that America had taken the place of England as a satisfactory explanation for all ill in the world of Canadians that bad weather couldn't explain. Even better the CIA could be blamed for any ills one didn't want the Supreme Commander of the greatest World Army, Navy and Airforce to be accused of. It was one thing to criticize an agency as a mouse, another to criticize the world Emperor.
Long ago it was recognised that America was abducting all talented Canadians ,not aliens, and that explained why Captain Kirk was a Canadian.
Now the government of Canada has a choice, either to get along with the American God on earth, or be nuked. Alot of Canadians simply don't realize that while Canada would naturally win a war against the US, Canadians being individually superior in all ways to their American counterparts, there's just a whole lot more of them. Indeed if the Americans went to war with the Chinese and Indians and Russians maybe Canada could stay peaceful until the end when along with the Australians they could wipe out the survivors. Otherwise war with America would be costly.
So I sometimes think that maybe there are some people, and they aren't in the media or hollywood who actually know what's going on. I don't think they teach at universities either or they'd have lost tenure years ago.  Maybe a ski bum in Whistler or a trapper in Fort St. John but nobody in the cities for sure, actually knows what is going on in the world.
Canada is great. Canada is true. Canada is the best country in the world and Canadians are superior in all matters to everyone else. This goes without saying.  Even Canadian dogs and cats are intrinsically better.  The weather sucks at times but any other problem in the universe is probably due to the Americans who have taken over the role of utter stupidity and depravity every Scot knew was the genetic heritage of the feral English.  Ironically the English leadership had come over from France at around a 1000 ad and conquered the Celts of the day, glorious race of sacred folk they were. If the Celts hadn't sold out for French cuisine there might well have been peace on earth and everyone a billionaire.  However that was not to be and Celtish blood was to be mixed with inferior English blood.
Americans are lucky to have some Scottish blood and even some Irish.  But because America is a melting pot with more Americans than illegal aliens they lack the intrinsic superiority that Canadians have as Gods' truly chosen people. Jews sometimes think they are but Canadians know they are. God only gave Jews Palestine and Arabs as neighbours. Canada got Americans.
Obviously this is a perfect Scottish Canadian summation of world affairs.  There might be some details  I missed like why BC Bud is vastly superior to Jamaican and California smoke. It's just fact that  everything Canadian is the best except what America touches.
That said, Americans, though inferior, are kind of like family, like the lesser adopted children of the Lord.  When they wouldn't take Quebec they got the respect of Canadians. There is hope for them. They are growing up.  Maybe one day they will have an Indian president.  Maybe one day they'll have a Mexican president. Better still a Mexican Indian woman president who isn't a lawyer.
The bottom line is "I don't know'.  I know I know more than most media. I know that my ideas given the Scottish Canadian genes in my blood are superior to all American ideas even that doesn't help me know perfectly.  God speaks to me in the highlands of Canada, this pure and perfect country of the greatest people on earth, but  I don't know what to do about the lowlander Americans.
In the best of all worlds I'd organize a cattle raid and steal some beef. While we were at we'd grab Angelina Jolie and Oprah for sure.  A good cattle raid was made best if you could bring back some girls as well. The Irish would love to join us in doing that. But the trouble with that is the best beef is already in Alberta.  Long ago Quebec annexed Florida for the retired people and all I can really hope for is a future prime minister from western canada who would annex Hawaii for western Canadian retirees.  Otherwise Canada is perfect as it is.
Beyond this veracity I don't know.  Canadians are so intrinsically perfect and true and right that we can admit not knowing everything.  Not like Americans or even Europeans for that matter.  Worse the Asians and the Africans are especially bad at this.  They can't  admit their inferiority to Canadians and they they don't know.
See, Canadians are humble people. I am a humble person.  Superiority gives us that edge.  I don't know.  But then I know I don't know.  I'm humble. That's what makes Canadians dangerously superior.

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