Respect/Respectful/Respectfulness and Dental Work

A person I admired called me disrespectful.  We disagree but the precise implication was that they by contrast ‘disagree respectfully’.  

In communication theory one of the strongest schools of thought is transactional analysis. This suggests that communication break down occurs when a person speak to another not as adult to adult, or parent to parent, or child to child but rather innappropriately as in parent to child or adult to child, the so called ‘talking down’ or ‘we are not amused’ or ‘who made you sheriff’.  

I have been fascinated by the shift in political debate from logic to purely rhetoric and marketing.  For a decade I’ve used Canadian Parliament as an example of the worst communication strategies.  I’ve suggested our PM should wear a wife beater under shirt because his ‘gas lighting’ and ‘never addressing questions’ but using all openings for promotions and blaming is the outright lowest form of communication.

There is a palpable arrogance of the indoctrinated left who believe that they are ‘right’ as only a parent can believe they are right and rapidly their discussion shifts from adult to adult or child to child into their taking a parental tone in speech or the very nature of the communication.

In marriage therapy I commonly encountered this distraction from the discussion at hand when one or the other said,”don’t use that tone’.  As a hamm radio operator we commonly tell each other to turn down the ‘squelch’ however this is mearely a break in the communication to repair the technology it doesn’t ‘stop’ the discussion.  However emotional communicators can easily ‘derail’ discussions by shifting from adult to adult to being the ‘child’ and suddenly claiming ‘victim ship’ or by claiming the parent and suggesting ‘you shouldn’t speak like that’.  

In the movie Grand Canyon a punk brandishing a gun says ‘do you respect me? The old guy replies “I respect the gun”:.  

I was drinking and joking on holidays with a group of tourists we’d met in Mexico decades ago when this fellow out of the blue, or it seemed to me, said ‘You can’t speak to me like that. You have to show me more respect.” “I’m sorry I said “I didn’t mean any disrespect’, I said not knowing what I’d said or done that triggered his reaction.  But at that moment he waved to some men in the near empty bar and three guys came over and opened their sports jackets showing their guns.  I’d never seen a mini oozie outside of a movie so truly remember that moment. The other two guys had hand guns.  I can honestly say I respect the gun and apologized profusely and was glad to get away alive. I also never wanted to play there again and have never returned.  

The old adage is you have to ‘earn respect’.  Much older and more experienced and now having worked in jails and asylums I can honestly say I probably didn’t do or say anything to ‘upset’ this person since as a cartel criminal with respect based on violence earned as such I would tend to believe this is a game he plays to assert his authority with his gang, joining in with rich tourist, I was poor in the company I was that night, mostly university professors and businessmen . None but him would ever have had the need to dominate the conversation with such a shore of force. There is this idea of an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.  By contrast I remember an argument with a Harvard PHD I had and I remember we all deferred to his opinion in the matter of physics not only because of his obvious authority on the subject but also because he made sense.

My South American professor friends says she finds Canadians insipid because they won’t talk about religion or politics and are too emotionally immature to shout about such subjects as she and her friends do in cafes when they’re not taking sides in soccer games.  She escaped from being tortured and left her country when a dictator took over and only returned a decade later.  I enjoyed working with refugees and torture victims and listening to the lessons they learned about politic.  So many these last few years have told me that the communism they escape in Eastern Europe is now here.  Persians tell me that Trudeau is just like the Ayatollah’s men. Always there ‘politeness’ and ‘people playing nice’ then the gloves come off.  

The business of ‘victim ship’ is ‘micro trauma’ and of course those who can be hurt by a ‘slight’ are very special and can get ‘stolen glory’ from those who by contrast have the scars of jails, cigarette burns and lashes.  Stolen glory

The definition of ‘respect is the ‘feeling of admiration or high regard for someone or something”.  Synonyms for respect are ‘esteem’ and ‘veneration’.

So in a discussion if a person uses ‘rhetoric’ to ‘muddy the discussion’ , a particularly distasteful form of communication like ‘muddying the waters’ does saying the person who has assumed the role of sheriff or parent is being ‘hypocritical’ suggest ‘disrespect’. I respect the gun.  The victim wins by massing others to do ‘proxy violence’.  

The women’s liberation movement and suffragette movements arose in the time of chivalry when a woman could feint and men would rally to defend her. Now we have an era of ‘false allegations of sexual violence’ or ‘rape’ where so often the ‘victim’ says ‘well he would have ‘or he had that tone’ or ‘micro violence.’  

In parliament the opposition party constantly said yes or no answer please to the childish leader who would not engage as an adult but use any opportunity to blame, shame and then self advocate while never answering the question.  We were raised on Perry Mason which became the Lincoln Lawyer but all we see is Goebells and Hollywood.  Accuse the other guy of what you did and lie lie lie.  

There a concept of ‘terms of engagement’.  In marriage therapy no one plays the ‘court game’ because who threw the first punch can never be answered.  Respect is earned.  

We are kind to each other. Being kind to the proverbial Hitler does not mean I would treat him with admiration or high regard.  

I shared with my friend the anti Americanism is again being promoted by our government.  It was the same when the American objected to Victoria dumping its sewage in the oceans so Canadian condoms were all over the Washington beaches along with other refuge. Eventually Victoria cleaned its sewage but politically it demonized Americans and played the ‘we are Canadians’ card implying our shit didn’t stink.

I miss the CBC with Barbara Fromm and truth and honesty in Canada before the Liberal Party became communist china with the Mao Cultural revolution censorship and the CBC as the liberal newsletter.

I’m a conservative and remember when I stopped drinking that I realized that my being liberal was because they supported free drugs and binge drinking.  I miss the country songs that preceded today’s marketing of booze and the rock and roll songs that promoted peace and had insights that we don’t hear in rap.  I am so dissapointed in the news. I probably don’t show a lot of ‘respect’ to people in political discussions because it always seems that someone is getting paid for their position and my own experience is dealing with the elderly and disabiled on fixed pensions and the fat cat liberals and those with indexed pensions or owning houses that are sky rocketing in price while the food banks are being used the highest amount in history.

I’m not retired. I don’t’ have a pension or health care or all the advantages that others have but I have had wealth and privilege and am doing just fine but the atmosphere of fear that has been percolated in Canada this last decade affects me as all those i know and care about are buying chicken instead of steak and staying home as opposed to going on vacation.

So I’m probably just not a wanting to hear more ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’.  “Jan 6 was as bad as Pearl Harbour” Democrat ranting and Bill Gates polluting the sky allegedly to block the sun and slow global warming with C02 the food of plants and our breath demonized by arts students.  It’s all bizarre and I’m told again ‘You are being expelled for saying ‘fuck’.  

I respect the gun and I don’t want to play with people who want me to ‘behave’ as they do.  Disagree with me but don’t tell me how to behave in peaceful conversation. 

I remember being drunk at a New Years Eve party and these two women showed up for the lobster feast my friend put on. I think I said ‘nice tits’ because the woman had nice tits and was wearing a big hole fish net top that did nothing to cover herself up. She was competing with skin and frankly I must have thought they were nice tits because I said that. She had a glass of scotch and threw it at me. I ducked . And the glass broke on the wall. The host came over and asked her to leave.  She said ‘did you hear what he said.  My friend said yes, “nice tits’. Bill thinks of himself as a conneoseiur of tits and probably is but we respect freedom of speech in this house and don’t respect violence.  If Bill hadn’t ducked you would have hurt him and as it is I’l have to fix the damage your glass did to the wall so please get out’.

I was so disheartened to hear that British are being jailed because there is no longer ‘freedom of speech’ there.  L

I am here on the border of California, Arizona and Mexico.  I’ve been enjoying talking with people with a variety of view. Interestingly the Mexican merchants I was speaking with who my friend Laura and I like are appalled at their corruption and mismanagement of cartels and borders. I was fascinated to hear them describing their president as we describe Trudeau.  Meanwhile I was in a line and a dozen of Americans around me were thanking their lucky stars for Trump because they had hope for their economy now. Several vets were glad that he was pulling them out of the stalled wars which 70% of money was going missing.  

Another Canadian and I shared how we so enjoyed being able to travel to the US and hear a different view from the propaganda of CBC and eastern Canada.  I’ve personally been enjoying Smith from Alberta’s and wonder what I’m doing staying in BC when so many of the people I respect and admire have moved to Alberta.  Well, I keep thinking about fasting from food as it’s obesity that’s the basis of cancer and fasting counteracts it. Fasting also can cure cancer early.  

Yet here I am feeling alone and isolated wishing I could agree with the sickness of communism as it pollutes . I’ve spent so much of my life at variance with group. Not drinking these last 26 years has been a huge difference. I sometimes miss the stupidity of dope smoking .  I got to church and hear the minister sharing that the pope says we shouldn’t be putting up walls and I can only think of this Emperor Pope Francis in his Vatican country a veritable fortress.

Hypocrisy. I thought I was a hippie because I was turned on to hypocrisy. 

Oh well I miss the editor who would take this reduce it to a paragraph and make me a bunch of money. As it is I journal and journal and journal and feel better in the end .

Saying thank you Jesus. I hope I can stay in Canada. I love the wilderness. My friend moved to Texas. I thought of going to Ireland yet I love my life now leaving BC for Jan and February to get sun because I’m afraid of dying of pneumonia now having had a near death experience with Covid in Bombay.  I also had a year of treatment for TB and too many friends are dying. I’m of that age. Another mentor died. 

It’s a sunny blue sky day without the wind and warmth instead.  I have a little work and calls to do but really it’s a free day between dental treatments.  Tomorrow my mouth will be done and I can move along with a major task of self care and treatment completed.  

Thank you Jesus. Thank you God. Thank You Holy Spirit. Thank you Trinity. Thank you 3 in 1 god . Thank you ancestors . Thank you Mom and Dad. Thank you brother and cousins and aunts and uncles and living and dead. Thank you grandparents and great grandparents. Thank you neanderthals’ .  Thank you Homo Sapiens. Thank you CO2 and O2. Thank you Sun and Moon and Stars. Thank you planet EArth.

Thank you God of Gods.

 

Winterhaven, California, Dawn

I woke up from first night with new crowns and mouth guard.  I really was refreshed and happy. I’m feeling better with the sun and prayer. Madigan was well. He’d had diarrhea when I was out so I’ve made him rice and not fed him last night but given him several walks.  Today we had a long walk and enjoyed the sunrise.  He had an okay little poop.  I’m hopeful.  

The big questions this morning was whether to talk to the dentists about lower crowns since the upper ones make it apparent that the lower teeth aren’t as ‘pretty’. Maybe I just need cleaning. I could come back next year too.  Right now I like my smile.

Laura texted me that Ebby has told Canadians not to travel to the US because Americans don’t like us. He’s probably just trying to affect tourism but really sounds like the fool Trudeau is.  Rustad is sounding  really intelligent by comparison. The whole climate change ‘emergency’ and demonizing carbon was so artistic but scientifically stupid. Trump has returned ‘meritocracy’ and stopped the favouritism of DEI which I really like given the stupidity of having dwarf, celibate, Inuit neurosurgeon because they vote Liberal or NDP.  Such political and legal nonsense. I loved hearing that Trumps pulling the US out of the Paris treaty would save them trillions and wondered of course why ‘the budget will balance itself’ Trudeau won’t do the same.  I’m horrified at the state of the economy and the invasion of Islam young men. Trump is demanding that the borders be secured and it’s a fact that the US invasion of fentanyl and terrorists is coming mostly through Canada.  

I don’t agree with two genders but the pronouns and the entitlement went too far.  Scientifically there are 2 sexes and gender now is directly as consequence.  The ‘official’ languages in Canada are French and English despite a large number of Germans, Chinese, Indians, Persians.  So the ‘official’ genders are two.  I suspect there will need to be tweaking of this but all that nonsense of prisoners wanting sex change may be addressed more appropriately.  Pushback was guaranteed when University of Toronto wanted to fine Jordan Peterson for mistakenly misgendering a student.  I don’t know the gender of biological people but to make it my problem is grossly inappropriate. Yet there are the legitimate intersex and those who have completed sex changes.  Post orchiectomy and genital surgery I suspect there will be a place for those to be ‘female’ or ‘male’ but new definition.  This will be a scientific medical determination rather than a political legal one solely.  I will be glad to see the end of the bearded ladies. Somehow it was becoming a circus show and that was hurting those who were not into special status.  Politics.

I’m glad Trump has pulled out of the WHO.  It became a communist institution with Chinese involvement and the Ethiopian communist CEO. Truth and medicine and science are no longer at the forefront given the abuses of Covid.  

I can’t support the UN when it keeps doing shariacommunist maneuvers like calling Israel a terrorists after it is only defending itself from Hamaz and Hezballah attacks. I did see General Milley as treasonous.  So I’m glad to see him go.  

The irony is all those people who were fear mongering and doomsaying about the Republican’s last term in office turned out to be utterly wrong. Indeed Biden’s reign resulted in near WWIII many wars and major shift in power to China and the Middle East.  Russia is no longer communist but shooting missiles at Russia like Trudeau encouraged and Biden and Zelenskyy did would certainly support the return of the old hardliners.  The Orthodox Church and the middle stream have a chance in Russia without an invasion.  The Ukraine war is far more complicated than the media has portrayed it and the Crimean has been Russian since before the Crimean war so it’s no more black and white or one sided than Israel.  In fairness to Biden Syria fell on his watch and thankfully Taiwan was not invaded.  I really believe that communists don’t attack strength. That was Mao’s teaching and now with Trump a strong leader in power especially with Vance there is hope for peace , detente.

I’ve been distracted by the news so it’s all above my pay grade and wheels within wheels. The truth is all I know is today. I’m delight to talk with Laura, pray for my family and friends, glad my dog is better and thankful I have work and can be of service.  I believe in God and Jesus Christ. I pray each day for guidance.

Thank you Jesus.  

I’m enjoying being here on the Quechan Indian Reserve in their Sleepy Hollow RV Park in Winterhaven California ten minutes walk from the border of Mexico.  I really like Los Algadones.  Everyone is friendly and I’ve this new dazzling (smile) smile

Now I just need a face life, liposuction and a fountain of youth.  Thank you Jesus.

President Trump’s Inauguration

I am a Canadian here in the USA, Yuma Arizona, on the border by Los Aldagones.  I was glad to be able to watch the inauguration before my virtual work began.  It was more like Buckingham Palace events. Very regal and impressive. I loved the tenor and the band.  Great to see the previous president’s and their wives.  Michelle Obama was absent. Certainly that suggested some her lack of First Ladyship quality    Jill Biden did look good.  Melania was magnificent. Her outfit and carriage were reminiscent of Jackie O.  Vice President Vance’s wife was darling, so beautiful and so good with the kids. I loved watching the interaction of the various outstanding men and women. Baron Trump and Ivanka. Elon Musk, the who’s who of America. Truly a great event. Melania’s hat interfered with Mr. Trump’s attempt to kiss her cheek. A human moment. His presentation was awesome though I couldn’t stay for his speech.  His policies will unfold now. 

Politics is choosing the least bad alternative. Frankly having the FBI go Stazi like  made Trump the only choice. The so called ‘swamp’ was indeed  intent on making the USA a third world shit hole country. What was all that refusal to have election identification?   Trudeau was doing the same Maoist shit in Canada.  Soros depravity, Floyd a hero  and finally the assassination attempt made  it all look like time for a change before the world went Sharia Communism.  I really  hope for something less corrupt than the police state the US was becoming.  Certainly I don’t want to see either Canada or the US become like Britain.  I’m libertarian leaning and support free speech.  I simply don’t like the absolute attack on the conservative middle class or the ageism.  

I confess a part of me was watching fearing an assasination attempt .Democrats who want to ban guns  sure are pro war and  violent. .  I was hopeful the transition would be peaceful.  As it was with Biden and the Democrats passing power to the Republicans stopped the one party state they had been pushing for as Trudeau has been doing in Canada.

I truly hope that Trump’s presence will hurry the Liberals in Canada out of power.  a Trudeau and the Liberals have done so much down right evil and corruption. Third world shit hole politics.

Mr Trump was in 4 years and the destruction of the world didn’t occur as claimed by the left.  The celebrities who said they were moving to Canada didn’t.  I can hope for better things. We tend to vote people out rather than vote people in.  I’m glad Mr. Trump survived.  It waits to be seen what his policies turn out to be.  He’s like an old time businessman, say anything before the deal but what’s written in the contract is what holds.  I enjoyed the prayers of the Archbishop and the Minister.  In God We Trust.

Trump Wins USA Election 2024

I stayed up watching the election results. I was anxious.  I’d watched the Democrats pull every dirty trick, the false insurrection claims and all the legal attacks, all in an attempt to override the democratic election process.  That’s been so much about what this is about, the SWAMP,  The non elected inner circle of people making all the decisions. Like CBC’s skewed propaganda network, 80 % of employees liberal and Trudeau buying this rag.  Our political organizations are not supposed to be so partisan,  The FBI back the Hillary lie of the false Russian dossier and covered up the Biden Crime Family links in Ukraine and the Hunter lap top.  Yet there was Trump constantly under scrutiny and attack.  Finally the assasination attempts.

I like that he’s sober

I like that he has been backed by some of the most incredible and powerful women like Sarah Saunders and Kayleigh McEnany.  By contrast Trudeau fired the best women in his cabinet.  Corinne Biden’s presss secretary never seemed to do her homework and was always unprepared so yes I liked Trump.  I know businessmen talk but what they sign in the bottom line.  He’s always been a salesman.  By contrast the suits like Obama and Bush sound like lawyers, platitudes and niceties but in the end gobble gook.  I love the reality rather than the plasticity. The raw.  Xi Jinping is always orchestrated. Hitler made nice speeches.  The middle class has been destroyed by these globalist totalitarianism. I am a libertarian and like freedom.  I like free speech and Biden, Kamala and Harris don’t. I loved that Elon Musk who loves free speech joined Trump. I loved that Kennedy joined  Trump.  I loved that KellyAnne Conway. Of course I love Melania and Ivanka.  I didn’t like all the democratic lies, pointing fingers while five pointed back. I didn’t like that Obama spied on all his allies and all Americans,  

I lost faith in the UN and WHO during covid and watched Fauci and Xi Jinping do awful things.  There was so much chicanery and pseudo science. All the lies from the Climate Change Cult are terribly concerned .I liked that the economy was improving. It had been great under Harper and now with Trudeau and Biden were destroying it and the war with Russia was so corrupt.  So much criminal money and money laundering.  All the while I was having higher food prices nand everyone I knew was struggling. The mass illegal migration was offensive since Trudeau is supposed to protect the country and there was he and Biden and Kamala encouraging terrorists and criminals into the country

The media, the fluffy issues like pronouns, the attack on saniety all was like the Borg and I felt like Picard was facing the Borg.  

So yes I was glad when Trump won.  But I most enjoyed a fellow I know posting on social media fearing gong to sleep because last election he’d done that and woken up to find Trump had lost the election after truck loads of votes had appeared.  

I knew Xi Jinping was at fault because he invaded Hong Kong and refused to allow the Wuhan Lab Leak to be investigated.  Similarly I knew the voting was corrupt because the Democrats fought voter ID.  I don’t believe Trudeau won the last election either because he wouldn’t investigate the electrion tampering and corruption especially by the Communist Chinese.  I don’t trust the voter machines much either because the hackers have broken every code and no one has shown how these voting machines are better than cray computers.

Tired I fell asleep hopeful at midnight and woke at 3 am to see that Fox News had declared Trump a winner, I stayed up for a couple of hours watching news and then went back to bed feeling evid was vanquished. Anyone who promotes third stage abortion and the death of children or even isn’t right. I’m pro life but I want women to have the right to abortion heist term but when a baby is a viable life 3 to 6 months let the baby live,  I don’t like Trudeau’s euthanasia and maid for the Menatlly ill. The left has been promoting all these Nazi and Communist totalitarian ideas. Also a hundred Christians churches burnt to the ground in Canada in the last months but everyone on CBC and NBC and CNN going on about Islamophobia while these radical attack Jews and block traffic.  I liked the Jews and Israel and don’t like the Palestinian Hammas or the Maxist Leninist Antifid and Black Lives Matter get a free pass, I do’t like what the cities are doing to the rural people, I identify with the underdog.  I support the gay community but not the weird increasingly  privileged demands and all the pronouns shit,  Stop it.  

I smiled when I saw Trump win.  I felt hope, I might have shed a tear of joy. I felt finally there was hope that Trudeau would be removed and Canada would not be taken over by Sharia Communism.  I an so tired of being bullied by aetheists and Islamic terrorists.  Trudeau paid an Islamic terrorist , the son of a bomb making fanily , killer of an American medic 10 million dollars.  Seeing Trump and Vance win I had hope that Pierre Poillevre would sooner be Prime Ministr of Canada,  There was light at the end of the tunnel,  Soros was exposed.  All the undermining of freedom and totalitarianism of Democrats and Liberals was challenged.  I had hope.  When I woke I felt there was possibility. I felt truth and freedom was possible I felt safer.  I am thankful.  I fear beauroccrat reign and the Borg.  I hate the lies and arrogance of ‘do gooders’ and the unscientific claims of the Climate Change Cult There are more polar bears and Carbon dioxide iss’t demonic.  Everything isbn’t racist or political The arctic is still there so is the Antarctic.  

God is good.  Thank you Jesus,  

Colonial

« You’re just a colonial, bloke. Without us, you’d be nobody. » said an English fellow. I was a Canadian living and working in England in the 70’s and was often mocked and bullied in this way. The English society was rigidly hieararchal.  My buddies, some working class blokes I’d met at the local pub were friendly and would always say ‘don’t mind him’ when someone would spout off .

This group I hung with were what might be termed ‘lower middle class’.  They commonly had some college education and office assistant level job.  They weren’t ‘posh’nor were they ‘common’.The rigid class system distinguished upper, middle and lower class. There didn’t seem to be much movement as position depended so much on your parents, their past, where you lived and the dialect of English you spoke. As a ‘colonial’ I was an ‘outsider’ , welcomed by some , disparaged by others. I was novel and appealing to a certain extent but if I crossed some secret law of class behaviour I was « corrected’.  « Bloody colonial. » 

I’d read some 80% or thereabouts of land in England was still owned  or controlled by some relative or ancestor of the Norman Conquerors of a thousand AD. 

Years later I was working as a doctor in a small town and this local woman approached me inviting me to a ‘party’ at her estate.  She said that ‘we’ve had a discussion about you and observed you this last year you’ve been here. We think you’d be a good addition to our social group. We’re all the right people and tend to make all the important decisions in the community together. You’d do well to join us, » she was rather pleased with herself.

I thanked her but stayed apart remembering how I’d  been rushed for several fraternities and remained aloof then too.. For a social person I’m really quite the loner. Today I most enjoy hanging out with my dog , going for walks and getting together with the girlfriend on weekends.  I have a few close friends and many acquaintances I hold fondly. I’m anxious to get close to people at my age. So many of my closest friends have died and divorces and betrayal has taken it’s toll on my trust and socialization. I feel rather raw perhaps as a nature of my work, sensitive to the ‘loudness’ of peoples emotions.  

I encounter people today who disparage me as a ‘radical’ politically but I’d characterize myself as middle of the road,  libertarian really. It’s ironic how those in their left or right bubbles believe they are in the middle.  It’s difficult being in a world where people argue constantly about two humped versus one humped camel. Frankly I don’t care much about camels.  

People often identify with the larger group to give their own meaningless insignificance value.  The family is brought into the tribe and the tribe the nation.  Now there’s the Globalist One World Order. They want everyone to identify with their latest totalitarianism.  I cringe.  So often I want to be left alone.  Often I feel even a bit paranoid as if  I’m targeted already by the Borg Like government burearocrat. If I don’t ‘conform’ I’m one of the  ‘enemy’.  

I  read Voltaire , « Patirotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings’.  Identification with the group and knowing right thing to say is fear and anxiety reducing.. 

There’s comfort and solace in being ‘in’ .  I so enjoyed reading Arendt on the ‘Banality of Evil’ after she’d seen the Nuremberg trials where everyone denied accounatability.  Robert Graves in the Golden Bough said that the choice of a king or chief was that he could be sacrificed while the group survived.  It’s like blaming the mind today as ‘he was of two minds’ and couldn’t focus whereas in the not so distant past it would be said ‘his heart wasn’t in it’.  I’m always reminded of my colleague who specialized in anal surgery. Asked why this rather than heart or brain or kidney, he replied, ‘I’ve done them all but when I could relieved a person’s constipation they were the happiest and most grateful. I get cards at Christmas from patients I saw 30 years ago ».  Not surprising we call people assholes when we’re not fond of them .

I must remember I’m loved by God and that first and foremost I must love what I am and have for so many people driving Honda’s wish they had Lamborghinie’s,  So many people poor wish to be rich.  There is never enough in this world.   reigns.The wise also warn that we should beware of what we wish for.

The Buddhist master describes the west as  suffering ‘spiritual consumerism’. It’s no surprise that addiction rules not just the gutter world but Wall Street and politics.

I’m reading David Baldacci’s the Calamity of Souls. It’s a story of a trial of a black man accused of killing white people in the south.  It’s set in the time of Rosa Parks.  

In the 70’s I eventually moved home to Canada.  I haven’t been called a ‘colonial’ in decades.  The feelings of shame have come and gone for other reasons.  Life is changing.  I still feel an outsider a lot. 

Shakespeare’s King Lear said, « So we’ll live, And pray, and sing, and tell old tales and laugh at gilded butterflies, and hear poor rogues talk of court news , and we’ll talk with them too - Who loses and who wins who’s in who’s out - and take upon ‘s the mystery of things as if we were god’s spies,’  

Social Intelligence

I confess I loath Justin Trudeau. He’s intellectually vapid.  I expect if his parents weren’t so rich he’d be lucky to have a high school diploma. He is simply put, stupid.  Sadly like most ignorant people he has no grasp of the depth of his disability which makes his arrogance even more offensive  His smug smirk is viscerally repugnant.  A party boy.  As a director I’d cast him as the pool boy.

I was Mr. Popularity in high school but realized that being popular meant you normally lacked substance and authenticity except in unusual times.

I don’t think Trudeau’s IQ is anything to write home about.  He’s all show and facade.  He’s an actor and an elite. The elite are groomed and trained to appear intelligent. 

Chrétien by contrast was intelligent. He had book smarts and street smarts. Harper was really intelligent too.  Amazingly accomplished bright loving man with truly superior intelligence.  Trump was intelligent to like both Clintons and old man George Bush. Trump’s intelligence was less academic and more street smart,  Conrad Black said Canadian parents want their children to grow up to be breurocrats whereas American parents want their children to be entrepreneurs.  Trump wouldn’t succeed in Canada where the shadow of colonialism prefers the servant to the king to the sales man.  American’s love and admire the salesman, the merchant, the trader.  Trump was loved by half of American’s especially the women. Canadian don’t even know that.  Hillary wont the educated women vote but Trump won the moms and the older women vote.  Those are the Canadians who don’t vote for Trudeau.  He gets the white urban girls for sure but the wise old women don’t vote for him,  

Hillary lost the election not because she was a woman but because she wasn’t the ‘right’ woman.  Margaret Thatcher and Merkel were winning women.  Indeed Trump won the election because he was a great quaterback but his campaign manager, Kelly Anne Conway was the first winning female campaign manager who won an American election, She was life Obama , the first black president. She was America’s first winning female coach. Personally I’d have liked to see her or Melania as President but Trump’s genius was in his social skill and intelligence of picking the amazing people around him. Biden has done this too.  The loyalty that he inspires is like the kind of Loyalty Mulroney inspired in those around him. Definitely a feature of social intelligence.   

George Bush Junior was socially smart but not in the league the men I’ve mentioned like Canada’s Martin or Europe’s Merkel.  I say Trudeau is just stupid. Not in the IQ or EQ league.  Kind of a Kim Jong level of brain capacity. Slow RAM, limited hard drive.  Half or less than the processing speed of Obama.  

Obviously Biden was ‘smart’ when he was younger. Truly a big brain but today probably dementing, “doddering Joe”.  I  still think he is  more intelligent than Trudeau. If you take away the make up and pretty face and remove Trudeau’s ar wig voice , feeding him his lines, telling him what to say, this political puppet shameless mascot, dim wit would show up at the village idiot he is.  All show, glitter and mirrors but a hollow man, no substance,  Stupid. 

I’m smart, not in the league of any of the aforementioned, certainly not.  But on my worst day I have more computing power than Trudeau on his best day. I’m a Lamborghini to his Lada.  I’m a Harley Davidson compared to Trudeau’s skate board,  I’m not a jumbo jet like Chrétien or Harper. I’m not jet fighter like Trump or Netanyahu’s.  I’m not a rocket like Kennedy or Reagan , Thatcher or Merkel.  Most of us can fly circles about Trudeau which makes his arrogance and ignorance so disappointing,  The stupid don’t know they’re stupid. It’s kind of like body odour,    

So why is he Prime Minister of Canada and I’m just ‘critic’.  How come the great athletes are playing sports and I’m on the couch shouting at the teams on the screen,

I’ve emotional intelligence.  Goldberg clearly showed that the left brain computer intelligence was a different kind of smarts than right brain and heart kind of intelligence.  I know a mentally challenged friend who can hardly hold spit in their mouth but is a steady worker and a ‘good guy’.  No arrogance, no smugness, no elite superiority.  Just a dumb good guy, a bit of a goof.  I like him. I liked hanging out with a group of Trisomy 21 at my church  , Down’s Syndrome patients that weren’t ever going to get to the waiting room of Mensa, I loved their company. They loved singing but were generally god awful, not that I was much better. They loved food. They loved sex and were sensual.  Poor boundaries but human, physical, loving life.  I  wouldn’t ask them to balance the budget or plot a navigation trajectory around the sun.  Great to hang out with and go for a walk.  Loving.  I might trust my dog with them more than I’d trust my dog with Trudeau.  

Trudeau doesn’t impress me as having much emotional intelligence,  A lot of psychopaths and sociopaths are noted for their ‘camoufflage’. They can act human feign empathy, but they’re ultimately lizard like,  narcissistic. All leaders need to be narcissistic like judges need to be, like commanders in chief,  They can’t be wi shy washy. The trouble with politics is you make enemies. You need to be tough skinned.   Harper and Chrétien wanted to be liked. We all do but Trudeau is a weak man and he’ needs’ to be liked.  He’s narcissistic in an immature way not like the mature narcissism of Henry Ford who encouraged to give away his fortune said. Then my workers wouldn’t get paid and there’d be no cars.  He knew the silliness of the childish altruism.  Robert Hare in the movie Corporations discussed altruism as it pertains to this essentially psychopathic political company. There are democrat and liberal corporations and conservatives Republican corporations.  

Trudeau loves his children. He loves his  mother in a concerning way, not surprising because of her life of addiction and dependency.  Both Trudeau’s  parents scored high on  narcissism.  Pierre, cold elite intellectual fish that he was, was still more present for Justin than Maggie’s whose grasp on reality has been marginal at best.    The world was  lucky that there was no social media when she was younger or we’d have had millions of selfies of Margaret, Margaret in Morocco. Margaret in Cuba. She’s have created a CBC Kardasian franchise. She’s truly vapid.  With Justin the acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree.   She was beautiful and sexy.  Sophie, Trudeau’s wife, complaining she needs 3 nannies while her and her husband live the high life and Canadians suffer is so like Maggie, off the drugs.    They say some men marry their mother.  The family is full of tragedy.  Normally that can ‘build character’ whereas with Trudeau it caused the opposite.   The most unethical Prime Minister in Canada, he will never be called a man of character. Liberal  JohnTurner of great character.   Trudeau by contrast is spiritually bankrupt.

That said, I personally don’t think he’s a psychopath but rather see him as a sociopath. “Steal a little and they put you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king’ (Voltaire paraphrased by Bob Dylan,)   Trudeau  is not the cold chameleon intellectual psychopath but rather a stupid domestic common sociopath.  He has empathy for the elite,  He  loves his children.  He loves his wife, a pampered vapid elitist. Like the French Marie Antoinette you can hear her say  ‘let them eat cake’ to the Alberta’s peasant middle class now joining the food lines.  

Trudeaus’ well groomed and if you met Prince Andrew or Justin Trudeau you’d see what private elite schools teach.  My friend who went to Upper Canada College said so much of his education was about how to ‘treat the help’.   He has that feigned sincerity and practiccs looking into a person’s eyes, forcefully  appearing to listen, He’s the quintessial Flashman of George Macdonald,  But He’s human.   He’s got family and friends and like Trump he cares for them.  He doesn’t care for them like a Churchill or a Kennedy.   He’s just  not a psychopath.  A sociopath, maybe, but not as most people understand that. He’s a white collar criminal.  He was judge by the high court of parliament.  Blue collar would be doing time for equivalent transgressions.  In Canada’s parliament the conduct for politicians is the lowest in the land, In the states a Congressman is said to be able to get away with anything except bring caught in bed with a live woman or a dead boy.  Trudeau has been judged by a jury of his peers, repeatedly below the lowest bar possible.  He’s utterly shameless and so lacking in character, literally immune to criticism.  Obama and he have both used the actor trick of cayenne pepper on the fingers to rub the eyes bring on crocodile tears.  Politicians are performers.    He’s part of a gang with all the gang attributes and relationships. The mafia were good to the family and their community. They even supported the church.  He’s not like a Hell’s Angel.  His gang doesn’t wear leather and tattoos.  He’s part of that Laurentian gang,  They wear designer suits, skin softener and cologne,  He’s an elite who pissed on the middle class truckers and business man and ike Hillary, part of the Washington swamp gang,  called half of America ‘deplorables’.  Trudeau outright called French Canadians superiors to English Canadians and is more racist and sexist than any he smears with those epithets, 

Trudeau doesn’t think people outside Toronto and Montreal are worthy. He disdains the West, He’s ‘elite’ and fiddles like Nero while Rome burns,  He’s not alone, He has his gang and that’s critical. Psychopaths are more loners, 

Trudeau has ‘social intelligence’. Not like Gandhi. Not like Kennedy.  Not like Attaturk.  But still compared to me on the social intelligence scale he’s a genius,  I’m politically incorrect, a loner, contrary and difficult.  Dr. Jordan Peterson,  Canada’s most famous and leading psychologist described Trudeau developmentally as 14.  I’d fixed him as a teen, a flying boy.  Not man enough to hold the adult position he has, immature in so many ways, a clown, a mascot and a fool. Yet he is as socially intelligent as Hitler or Lenin or Bill Clinton,   American Democrats said they wouldn’t trust Trump with the nuclear codes, ignoring the brilliance and solidity of his partner Pence,  I don’t trust Biden with nuclear codes because I suspect he’d forget what the number or phone was on a bad day. He’s got a lot of lapses and rambles incessantly.  Meanwhile I wouldn’t trust Trudeau with a weapon of any kind, certainly not a gun.  Probably he’d be safe with a spork.

I , however, could not get elected Prime Minister of Canada or President of the United States, Trudeau and Trump and Obama have the highest social Intelligence scores in their respective countries.  They are  like all celebrities.  They have a following and they remain popular. I was popular as a teen. My aunt insists I ‘peaked’ at 11. “You were such a nice boy then’.   As a teen I was a popular ‘rebel’. I was expelled from high school for saying Fuck Up.  I use the word aggressively.  ‘What a fuck up. this is a cluster fuck, Fuck off”.  I’ve a ‘trucker’s mouth’.  Trudeau won’t even talk with the working man.  I worked in construction and admired the working men of my family the rancher uncles and grandfather.  My brother and father didn’t swear.  My mom fed me soap when I was young,  It’d didn’t work, I still have a potty mouth.   The men in my family sweated when they worked Trudeau and his Laurentide Gang  obviously only sweat in the gym. His encounter with the word fuck was with a student when he was fired as a high school teacher, black faced and stoned, his fanily paying millions to keep a girl from testifying. Everyone is getting ‘gag orders ‘ in Canada under Trudeau, even Commedias. His father was notorious for getting the attorney general to get his children off.  Trudeau just fired the female attorney general.  Fuck her. He didn’t say he’d grab her pussy,. He was too smooth for that, Like Bill Clinton he abused women but he didn’t call the Attorney General a pussy when he fired her for not joining his corruption.  Doesn’t she know that Trudeau men are above the law.  Emperor Trudeau.

Personally I lived in fear of breaking the law as a kid because I’d come hone to my father and mother who were law abiding and believe one law for all,  Pierre Trudeau like his son Justin are the quintessial elite. It’s ironic that Marxism, the great language of class struggle should have been taken up by the competing elite. They twisted Marx, not a bad sort though an ugly little man.   It was the murderrr Lenin, with his Bolshevik murdering robbing thug  bully buddies, Stalin and Molotov and Trotsky who coined created the communist lie with the little line,  ‘dictatorship of the proletariat’. Every liberal to date allows that deceit.  Godless.  Trust me I’m a conmunist.  All Communist governments like fascist governments are closer to Mafia gangsterism than any other form of rule,   There wasn’t a democratic bone in Pierre Trudeau’s body.  There’s  certainly not a democratic ‘cell’ his  son’s. The Trudeau DNA is elitist and the women they choose are elitist like the Eva Brawn’s and Marie Antonette.   Pierre was a classic Napoleonic dictator and Justin is a little Napoleonic  wannnabe.  He admits he admires dictators. Xi Jin Ping is his mentor as Castro was his father’s, 

I don’t like communism,  I’m not even very civilized.  I’m happy solo sailing with a dog and a cat alone off shore in winter hurricanes weeks on end,  I’ve felt suicidal sitting in government committee meetings,   I’m a libertarian.  I believe in the messy muddle of democracy and the wisdom of children, Not the adolescent ranting angry Greta nonsense.  I don’t like these new propaganda kids, political child soldiers little different from the African war lord child solders.  I know kids can Lord of the Flies but I’d  rather the sort of message in Pooh Corner and the kinds of insights that dogs and children about  safe and cozy places. If a child said,  Mommy I don’t like that man,” I’d listen, not to their views on the complexity of strategy and policy.  Kids are cute.  Greta knows shit about climate or chemistry, She’s a Kardasian brand.  A lot of those ‘social media influencers these days’. Look at the success of the Kardasians,  Smart family business,   

 I don’t have that smooth exterior. I’m not good at chit chat, at fashion or  ‘court talk’ which King Lear callled it, ‘whose in, whose out’.    Betrayal is always worst because it comes from your friends.  Politics and social intelligence is its own kind of genius,  

Trudeau is napoleonic and good at court chat, He’s like the Kardasians in that way.  They are very smart women but their show is all fantasy, fluff and intrigue.  B movie porn,  Trudeau like Putin kept taking off his shirt. Meanwhile our first female prime minister Prime Minister Campbell got shit for showing her bare shoulder. With identity politics and cancel culture maybe elections in the future will skip debates and just show the candidates fucking.   Politics as the new porn industry.   Trudeau  shouted  ‘fuck’ in parliament with calling himself a feminist when he titled an NDP.  Meanwhile Trump says  ‘pussy’ almost loses the election, grovels and apologies for his decades old faux pas and gets a pas,  If Harper said fuck in parliament or man handled the NDP female MP’s he’d be’d have been in jail.  Double standards.  Bill Clinton almost got away with fucking the female help and countless trips to Epstein’s island.  If  if Pense even said Pussy he’d be kicked out of politics for ever.   Trudeau and Trump are playboys.  Old playboys but playboys nonetheless. They  allowed a lenience which Ralf Nader or even Churchill wouldn’t be allowed. At least Trump keeps his shirt on.  His hair actually improved as he gained more gay voters,,  

I can only admire and envy Trudeau’s social intelligence like I admired Trumps and Clintons.  They are truly political geniuses,  The whole world of politics is a team. We look at Trudeau and Trump, Biden and Johnson and we think of them as individuals like we do of Spielberg.  My spiritual friend Kirk encouraged me to sit through the credits at the end of the movie, sometimes as long as the movie, all the unsung hero’s , all the deplorables, all the truckers and workers that go into make Spielberg, and Brad Pitt,  Angelia Jolie, Hellen Mirren, an all of Hollywood the incredible invention that it is. .  

I know that Trudeau isn’t Goreski on the ice rink. He can barely tie his skates but the Liberal team with its long series of wins is not the Maple Leafs. They are the main hockey team in Canada with the Cobservative team occasionally gets a win only taking office when the Liberals irreparably fuck up.    Trudeau has a coach that speaks in his ear. He has some adult supervision even if he acts like the world is his toilet.  He isn’t expected to think like Conservative leader  Pierre Poilievre, a good man with a good heart and a big brain. Trudeau is pretty and popular and knows how to do as he’s tol. He can even act  polite and or even manly but not off the leash.  He’s not the man Trump, Harper and Obama were. He’s a boy but he’s a genius politically. True social intelligence,

I guess in a way he’s my Richard Cory. He’s had it all and he’d rather kill Martin Luther King than be a Martin Luther King, He’s a pleasure boy and not a Kennedy. Jacqueline Kennedy was like Melania.  Marilyn Monroe was a whole other story.    Trump could be assasinated Kenndy or shot like Reagan.  Trudeau is a coward and isn’t significent enough to atract that sort of attention. He pays terrorists.   Biden won’t be either. He’s not Keith Richard’s.  Assassin would think if they wait Biden my trip and die on his own, poor doddering Joe.    They’re still all politicos, social folk, some with real substance,  other just paid big time by the big men behind the scenes,  Only some are good but all can be nice. I’m not good at nice.  

I want to be good. I strive for character.  I pray and meditate.  I feel badly if I don’t do my best.   I was raised by godly parents who said that bad elites might eat well but they didn’t sleep well. I sleep well except those nights when the nightmares of past traumas wake me in cold sweats. I have scars. If you don’t have scars, St Peter asks you if there wasn’t someone that you saved and fought for.  I expect Trudeau drugs himself to sleep. He’s like Scrooge,   I was taught there was a hell that the Trudeau’s would go to.  Communism is a religion of aetheism They’re total materialists.  Trudeaus believe who dies with the most toys wins.  I’m looking forward to a heaven  like Mark Twain’s Captain Storm field heaven.  I believe that Churchill and Kennedy will be there. .  Putin and Mao and Xi Jinping are already in hell. Communism is the religion of aetheism.  Their god is money. They’re materialists like Trudeau.  I don’t believe Scrooge gets to heaven unless he makes a mends.   I was raised an idealist,  I’m the fool on the head. One step ahead of the crowd you’re a leader, two steps ahead of the crowd you’re a martyr,  

Trudeau is the crowd,   He’s like Trump and Merkel and Thatcher. He’s the Prime Minister.  He’s a world leader. In terns of the social olympics he’s a silver star like Biden whose spent a life time compromising and being the servant of Washington is a golf star.   Biden’s a survivor.  Trump and the Clintons excelled but Biden has staying power.  They all have amazing social skills.  

I still fart in public.  I’m even feral at times. I’m comfortable coming in the back door but feel awkward coming through the front door. I like camping, Turner was like that.,  I don’t wear a white shirt because I spill things. Trudeau’s suit cost more than I make in months.    Churchill was a ruffled old man with a cigar but young he was spick and span, a lady’s man, a mommy’s boy whose wife was as important to his success as Melania was to Trumps and Hillary was to Bill’s.  Sophie is not Melania and certainly Maggie is not Mrs, Bush. Maggie might have been if she wasn’t an addict but again her husband and son were world leaders just as Mrs Bush in so many ways made the two George’s.

I’m  untidy and distracted and more interested in study, learning, reading and writing, being alone and having personal freedom.  I’d go to jail for killing paperazzi if I couldn’t get one of my biker friends to take care of the bodies.  I’d rather be walking the dog than sitting in a committee meeting any day.  I’m apolitical.  In terms of social intelligence I might be autistic.  

My political military friend tried to teach me that you ‘salute the rank not the man’.  I don’t want to fight city hall.  I may feel Trudeau is Smegma as a leader but that’s as much a personal feeling about anyone ‘above the law’, all the ‘special’ and ‘favoured’ elites. I rose in the ranks. I did the heavy lifting I don’t like any of these parachute boys and girls.  I’m anti authoritarian that way. 

 I loved and admired and followed the leadership of my mentors.Dr. Jack Hildes and Dr. Nady El Guebally received the Order of Canada for their contribution, personal heroes and well rounded men of not only genius intellectually and great emotional intelligence but profound social intelligence. I’ve been blessed with the best of the best teachers in my life, Dr. Carl Ridd, Dr John White, Dr. Arnold Naimark, Dr Bebchuck, Dr. Sam Sussman, Dr  King,  Dr.  Gutowski and Dr.  Ney.  I’m blessed.  But I wasn’t a good husband. I’m not a father . I’m impatient. I don’t compromise. I mostly see life as a lesson and adventure. While I compete with myself , I don’t like to compete with others.  I was on television and stage and podium but clearly prefer a weekend with a girlfriend and a dog.  I just couldn’t do  all that social stuff poor Trudeau must do.  I’m more concerned how god sees me than how my fellow man sees me.  

So it’s not nice that I am so harsh a political critic of the idiot child.  His mother and friends love him.  When I was young or stoned or drunk maybe I would have liked playing with this guy though he seems to me like the rich bullies I grew up with who abused their privilege rather than having empathy and caring deeply. Trudeau doesn’t seem like the ‘noblesse oblige type’. He’s just entitled. 

 I strive to love others as myself. I’ve lived and worked in asylums and jails and have this broad appreciation of my fellow man and woman as a child of God. There but for God go I.  I don’t see myself as ‘anointed’.  I don’t feel there are ‘them and me’. Like I perceive Trudeau does, deploring Albertans and anyone not French. I’ve had grease and don’t on my hands a lot. His father didn’t like being touched and didn’t like when I shook his hand, Chrétien was by contrast a great hand shaker. Chrétien is the most memorable handshake in my life and I loved being hugged by Harper.  Trudeaus doesn’t even look at people real and won’t even answer an honest question,  I don’t see half the world as ‘deplorables’ as Hillary does.  

I also see Trudeau as repulsing me because of some part of myself that I haven’t accepted, I know we ‘externalize’ our demons.  We deny our Shadow that Dr. Carl Jung so well described. I think of Trudeau as Screwtape but really I am unwilling to accept the ‘eichman within.’.  To be like God as we are encouraged to be in empathy and at the emotional level, I have to love the unloveable within me and in others,  Jesus comes to us the stranger.  I have to love Trudeau as a sick and sinful man but not as Satan in the I and it way but rather as the true Satan who turns his back on God’s love,  I’m the prodigal son but so am so far from being the Prodigal Father. My priests Father John and Father Mark and Father Peter have all been prodigal fathers.  

In the song ‘were you there when they crucified my lord, the challenge is not to see oneself as Jesus, as the narcissist, psychopath and self pitying easily do, everyone in jail is a victim, but rather see oneself  as Herod, or Pontus Pilate.  Dr. Carl Jung said we were all the characters in the dream.  I can see myself smirking as I put the thorns on the head of Jesus mocking him I suppose.    That’s me aiming at humility.  I don’t see Trudeau doing this but when I mock and satirize him I’m doing the political game I see like chess.  Politics is debate, I’m concerned that Dr Jordan Peterson is being gagged and politics in Canada is like politics in dictatorships,  Lenin and Stalin and Hitler, the Ayatollah and Putin were murderers.   Trump and Trudeau weren’t murderers.    Lenin ordered the murder of millions.  The FBI silenced Republicans in the last election but they didn’t kill  Trump. Maybe they and CIA wasted Epstein .  In Canadian politics, until really recently things were more civilized in a colonial sense.   

I salute the rank of Prime Minister and President and like a good Scot Chieftan of old will even swear allegiance to the British Kings if there’s no Robbie Bruce available. I’m orderly in that sense . I don’t have to like the ‘man’ or ‘boy’, woman, girl or other.   Personally I would apologize for calling Trudeau a stupid conniving fuck up but not politically, Not in Canada. In Comnunist Countries and the middle eastern dictatorships I’d just hide. Hide your light,   If I conceded a chess game to him it would only be because he has a communist chinese military crony pointing a gun at my head. Even in Canada I don’t think you can ‘win’ anymore as it might ‘offend’ someone,   I’d never even try to  beat Putin in a chess game,  if I could.    Putin would lace my coffee with plutonium and soon glow  in the dark.  

I would gladly leave and yet when the Liberal Cabinet member was asked what he would do if he lost in the recent Canadian election, he said, “I guess I’d go home and do politics there’. He’s an immigrant but like so many of our recent first generation immigrants he does’t see Canada as his home, Even Trudeau sees himself as Trans Canadian, a globalist.  

Frankly I put my hope in Elon Musk.  I truly have wanted to get off this planet,  Beam me up Scotty.  I’m hoping I can get to Mars and find some peace there.  Unfortunately I take myself with me where I go so it’s unlikely

More likely I’ll just die and be reincarnated as Justin Trudeau.  Walking a mile in his shoes and life I d see if I could do a better job.  I’d probably be just as big an asshole, But maybe next time round I can skip being Judas and maybe Peter though I’d rather be John,.  I can hope.  There’s always faith.  But best of all is grace,    

Fear of Death/Love of Life

Fear of death has been thought the greatest fear.  Many variations of the theme exist like fear of dying, fear of pain, fear of powerlessness, fear of loss of control, humility, and much more.  

The classic psychiatric text was Denial of Death by Ernest Becker.  Denial is the most primitive of coping mechanism and used primarily when overwhelmed or perhaps negatively surprised.

The historic and traditional, microcosmic and microcosmic, approach to death is reproduction.  Children have been humans ,individually and collectively, response to fear of death and mortality.  Art and empire and monuments are all other ways of attempting to reach beyond the apparent limit of life.  Religion and all manner of thought systems further attempt to extend this life.  Not only is this the forward thinking approach but the study of history and archeology further advance the idea that life isn’t brief and perhaps sordid but rather long and noble.  

Love of life and imnortality go hand in hand. 

Vanity.

Children and family and genetically related individuals and groups are the building block of society.  

Yet coitus interruptis, the ‘withdrawal method’ was mentioned in Genesis.  L’Chaim , to life, but not if it’s to one’s dead’s brother’s progeny which was the requirement of Hebrew Law. If your brother died without an heir, you were required to i pregnate his wife.  Onan, much maligned for Onanism, or masturbation, rather failed to impregnate his dead brother’s wife and give her and him an heir. Instead he wanted to keep the land for himself and his progeny.

Land and land ownership and all that ties to that was of course part of the need for the construct of permanence and denial of death and change and fear of course of change and death.

The reformer is the enemy of anyone who benefits from the status quo but as change is frightening.

Faced with fear we ‘freeze’, ‘fight’ or ‘fight’.

“Freezing’ is very popular.  However what happens to an ostrich who puts its head in the sand. “It doesn’t know who kicks it”.

Birth and death.

We only have other’s word about our birth and the Big Bang theory, and we can’t tell anyone about our death.  Just one more of the great paradoxes of life.

The Book of Mormon was a sublime comedy and satire of all philosophies and religions.  The play was a challenge to all ‘people of the book’.  The major books are Bible, Bhagadvagita, Koran, Talmud, the Tripitaka, the Tao, Communist Manifesto, and the list goes on.  Each book has a protagonist,  Moses, Mohammed, Jesus, Paul, Buddha, Confuscious, Marx, etc.  There are a variety of these emotionally carthaced individuals with a mythology that surrounded their venerable lives.

The notion of God is ideas coming down from God, Intelligence and ideas going up to God , competing elevator ideas.

The oldest law of the world is the Chinese Law of the Fish, there are Big Fish and Little Fish, and little fish must be fast and numerous.

Having children made people bigger.  We protestants didn’t like to fight the catholics because we had a couple of brothers and sisters in general and the catholics had a lot.  Throughout history empires were made on children who provided the armies and the equivalent of slave labour.  Today children are pets. Then they were tools.

Feminist is a great myth. Women’s individualism was a product of contraception and the myth of overpopulation and the Industrial Age.

The Machine,

The Dark ages aren’t as dark as intellectuals would have you believe The advances in engineering are mind boggling.  Just the idea of the lever and the pyramids and stone henge are more monumental than space flight. 

The dark ages and Middle Ages were a time of physical advancement and not just paintings.  The renaissance was a recovery and advance of science.  

Science joins two with the ‘neutral term’ ‘associated with’.  Marxism and it’s little sister feminism joins two ‘events’ with the value laden term ‘oppresses’. Hence the hysteria of victimship and legal equivalent of side taking, and blame and shame.  Politicians advance with divide and conquer and ganging up. 

Individualism was never desired.  In face of threat humans congregated.  Being alone was for the lunatic and the religious.  Even monks were a community as Thomas Merton showed in his study of Buddhist and we knew of the Dessert father.

War is us against them.  It’s all fear based and paranoia.  Steal a little and they put you in jail , steal a lot and they make you king. The winner writes history.  Women are equally guilty.  Eva Brawn and Hitler’s Mother created Adolf.

Women have been second class only because of their unwillingness to accept accountability.  No praise without blame.  Today the various victim cults want license not freedom. The language is changed to validate whatever ideology suits , such as murder and abortion or Medically Assisted Suicide,

I turned 70. I am an individual.  I realized 28 days alone at see with only a dog and a cat.  

The only day we have is today. Carpe Diem. ODAAT. One day at a tine,  We live from sleep to sleep. 

Life is a manifestation of memory desire and today.  Buddha did say desire is the root of all suffering.  Kierkegaard said life is suffering unto death.

Freud said Eros and Thanatos.  Life wish and death wish.

Politicians promote their children today and say vote for me “I”m a parent’.

The division is ‘parents and single’s, ‘families versus individuals’,  With the machine we don’t need many more. A dog and a cat perhaps, a God, a friend.  

Sex was first for pleasure.   Later it was connected to child making.  Later it was known that the largest armies one.  

Gender is a product of the past.  

Humans are heard animals. Raising children or even monkeys alone created insaniety, death wish dominant.  Raising biologically disconnected children, adopted, kibbutz etc worked.  

Science takes groups and compares them and finds general trends and directions which can guide but don’t predict the future of the individuals.

Individuals and individualism is associated by farmiles and countries.  The paranoid sees the individual as oppressed by the group.  Certainly the Communist Committee Gangstrism continues to oppress individuals.

Others see all relationships as mutual ,versus parasitic,

I like my dog,  Dog and human have been a long history of mutuality.  

I remember family and being born but my father’s generation was born into the celebration of the ‘family unit’.  The Asian family unit vernerates the old.  Children are a mother’s old age pensio.  Mother’s collectively are cared for by children in old age while the world is full of disregarded old men.  Men die 10 years younger than women because they are uncared for .  The lie of feminism was that women were tougher, but when put in the same jobs they died as young. Feminists haven’t been creative but have raised children for themselves .  Today women have sons on leash. Men have dogs on leash.  

Men are becoming women and women are becoming men,  God doesn’t make mistakes.  The whole idea of that is fate versus choice.  I chose to dress as a woman and because of that I can be deemed wrong, bad, mad.  But the other who says God made a mistake. Is the latest in the victim motif.  I love the advances of science and women getting big breasts and women getting little breasts is called cosmetic surgery. I’d like breasts as a man for the sake of cosmetic surgery.  Not because of fate or free will.

However the great industry of law and psychology is to ‘advocate’ for the outside.  Today one of the wealthier groups is the new ‘drug pusher’ who is the ‘advocate’ of the ‘drug addict’ who can’t abstain but must have safe source.  The natives did the land claims game with native getting 1 million dollars while two lawyer groups got 10 million dollars each to gabfest.  The safe source debate is little different,

The same debate occurred with Sangster and birth control and abortion.  The pregnant girl could abstain or the rape could have been compensated as in tribal society superior and more sophisticated than today which is a lewd and obscene society.  Neither better or worse. Difference.

The idea of the Christian’s refusing to take the plank out of their own eyes while attacking on mass the mote in their neighbours.  The Christian who is obese slanders the Christian who murders.

Hierarchy of hate and shame and inside out sider is perpetuated in the law of the fittest.  Are we reducing the gene pools but helping the wounded

I don’t have children. I like wearing dresses. But I liked wearing cammo. I liked wearing the military imitation officer suits popular with lawyers and politicians. I liked wearing yachting gear and dancing wear and clinical lab coasts and college cordoroy.  Gender is not who I am.  

Yahweh - I am who I am.  

Namastes - the God in me salutes the god in you.

Alone I am never alone,   I am a Christian.  The Christian god is loving and always loving and not judgemental ,  Incluseive , not exclusive.  But then God is loving and judgemental and inclusive or exclusive.  God is all or nothing and All and nothing.

I loved the 60 tv show Prisoner.  A totalitarian dystopia whereas I’ve a libertarian dystopia.

As a Christian I’m top of the class as married man with good kids today.  As a politicians, the same.  Historically the Christians were individuals and disciples and groups and some were alone and some some were married.  We don’t hear much of the children of the disciples.

Cherry pickin Christians have rejected Paul on women and slaves but also cherry picked Jesus ‘. Thoughts on enmity and money.  

I loved the 60’s books, Be Here Now (a take off from Brother Lawrence, Pracrticing the Presence of God’ and Elkhart Toole, Power of Now.,  I also like the couple who wrote ‘what to do till the messiah comes’.  A Jewish couple who did’t believe Jesus was the messiah,  I heard an Anglican Priest say he didh’t believe the Bible.  Another Protestant Canadian female minister didn’t believe in God or Jesus but wanted the job and pension.  

The government doctor told me “Act like a doctor’, and he had the arrogance to think he did To me he was just another ‘suit’.  

My life as a community psychiatrist was always “attraction’.  The world of ‘prevention’ is even more attraction.  The ‘police doctor’ the ‘licensing doctors remind me of the time when I was in charge of the asylum. If you wanted out you needed to do as I say.  There’s a world of coercion in medical politics,

In the healing profession the person is dying and you can delay the process and relief suffering.

All medicine is palliative care in face death,

I and my family go to heaven. You and your family go to hell. Your mother wears army boots.  Amazing what we can’t learn from what children discern. You’re in or out.  King Lear at the end speaking to his daughter.  Shakespeare calls it ‘court things’.

90% of cross dressing men are heterosexual .  The whole feminist movement of today is the woman wearing pants. Chanel to Hillary Clinton. The argument that post modernism is just a pretty name for the Super rationalism that denies the feminine and denounce the mother, the holy mother, the sacred mother.  Women in communism the religion of aetheism were denied children. Abortion and hysterectomy . Vasectomy is not a communist thing,  The primitive tribal woman says we count a man by the number of his children.  

The number of children and number of wives

Anthropologists define the west as ‘serial monogamy’. In my childhood 50 year marriages were normal with divorce rare and families in tact to some degree mostly. Today the urban divorce rate is 50 % and 5 year marriages are the norm.  Based on individualism and science perhaps the 50 % marriages that persist are the bad marriage.

My friend who left high school and became a millionaire called me a slow learner because I spent another 12 years in institutional learning and even went not to teach at a couple of universities.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  Women act more like men than their mothers,  Marx and Engles wanted to destroy families as a threat to the almighty god of the State.  Communists call mothers ‘Breeders’.  

It’s fun getting to know women more.  I also see gays and other minority groups in a non child centered fear of death way.  

An early female Judge found 320 consecutive family cases against the man.  

The woman registrar at the College of Physicians and Surgeons said “Women don’t lie about sex”.  I have to date never been compensated for all the sexual harassment I have experienced in the work place, the rape, the caning in school, being hit in the head by a teacher’s wooden mallet, the individual list of ‘wrong’s’ and manure of self pity that power the ‘pay me’.  The story of the fisherman and the beggar is lost to history.   

I don’t like being among strangers.  I have worked in the jails and the asylums and I have been in government offices.   I am good at my work.  I’m like a motor parts guy, a spiritual fixit.  I know the products available and have a lot of answers to all manner of questions most of which people are afraid to share with others.  

Live and let live.

Jesus taught Love God and Love thy neighbour as yourself.  If any passage in the Bible veers from this then that’s what needs to be discussed not whether a trucker wears diapers.  

To thine own self be true.

God is all and I am a part of God.  

My identity is not my self’.  C.S.Lewis’s said thoughts are ‘creatures’.  St. John of the Cross, Nada.  The spiritual path.  The long dark night of the soul.  

I am a lone but not alone,. 

 

Despair and the Complaints Department of Life

Some moments I feel the loss within, an emptiness, a sudden sense of aloneness and alienation.  I forget that you are there.  I cry. I fill with self pity and narcissism. I am a child of God. I know this. Yet the struggle, to get up, get dressed, move forward, start another day, go to work,  meet stranger, hear the pain and horror of their day and life, to suffer with them, and hope to offer relief. The despair is knowing their government, this kleptocracy is stealing their future and lives. I’m shocked by the poverty encroaching on people, the poverty not of starvation, but that poverty of ideas and third world mentality.  

I get distracted by the pictures of government elites partying endlessly while in the streets my patients are disheartened and suicidal.  I have fleeting thoughts of suicidal and try to bolster myself up to face another day of negativity. It was easier when I believed the PM and government were sane. Now I don’t know.  The policy of covid and lockdowns and the behavior of the PM has destroyed any faith I might have in those around him. He’s appalling, such an ignorant little arrogant hypocritical evil.  I must find it in me to accept him.

I’m also aging and feeling the end of life over the horizon. I never know if it’s time to retire and if it is then the plans requiring money need to be changed as so much cost is involved in ‘working life’.  Without work I can live cheaply. I have in expeditions and adventures. But now I work to resist retirement. I feel it’s giving up but I’m finding myself fragile The constant pain wears on me.  The recurring stupidity of government. The increasing burden of tax and waste.  It’s all demoralizing.  

My depression is lifted not working. I just don’t have that joy I had that lifted me up when I faced day and day out peoples whose beings grated like nails on a chalk board. I don’t wish to ‘argue’ with the suicidal and addicted. The government is killing wantonly and the doctors doing euthanasia are fat cat rich just lie the abortionsist and now the drug pushers. I weary of the administrative doctors standing as far away from patient as they can with lasers and snipers to shoot the front line workers in the back scapegoainting us for the destruction of the health care system.  Shortages everywhere and I don’t have time. I’m harried from morning to night and worry alway I’m missing something.

Then I sit alone and cry.  

Meanwhile I still compare and that’s the problem. I know the problems are mine. I have the problems with communication . I don’t live and let live. I rescue and people please and don’t love myself.  I don’t take the advise I give each day. I’m a child of God. I have Jesus as my friend but I fear the government these people who have never read Arendt or 1984.  They are among us.  Tinder has shown us who near us is doing what extraordinary sexual practice but where’s the political app to show me how many of my neighbors are Vichy Canadians. If I lived among those who voted for Trudeau I could move and be away from such perfidity.  

See how my mind goes back to that dirty filth. Intrusssive thoughts and obsession.

Here it’s a beautiful day. Sunshine and warmth. I’m due for a mini holiday 6 days off over the long weekend. I’m looking forward to driving in the ccountry .  Time with Laura and Madigan.  I’m missing my camper an we’ll stay in the lodge but I love the restaurant there and the days will be filled with exercise.  Stalking mostly.  Teaching Madigan the ways of the woods and wild. I’m not taking the quad just the truck and comfort.

I’ll make it. I’m winding down for a break.  

There’s a meeting tonight.  I’ll be reassured among friends. I don’t know where the time goes. I used to take courses at night and attend church more but now I’m just reading an watching some tv and sometimes just napping. I am glad for Madigan because I walk him frequently.  

Life is good but I don’t appreciate it enough.  I live in uncertainty. I must focus on patients and watching how I am infected by their despair. I must not let my own misgivings bring them down. I must be uplifting and caring.  I assure them they are not alone. But in withdrawal they want a ‘new’ drug, the Huey Lewis song. After decades of isolation and drinking they want a life. I can’t give them what a job gives. I can’t tell them they chose ‘disability’ and safety and now are being beat up by the very people who threw them the lifeline. The inflation of this government and the decisions of the leaders in their ‘one trick pony’ virtue signalling ‘ Covid wealth promotion schemes”. Like war is ‘ammunition and guns sales promotions’.  I am cynical.

God is good all of the time.  I believe in live and let live but this government is a tyranny and wants me to pay for their drama queen gabfest events.

And see there I go focusing on the negative.  So many patients so disappointed.  I will prescribe more antidepressants to help them through this. It’s like prescribing aspirin for a fever caused by the government torturers burning the souls of the tax payers feet.  The old are so collectively poor.  They are sad. I’m finding it hard to get moving and take my seat and serve as the complaints department for life.

Time to move. All shall be well. All shall be well. This too will pass.  God is good.  Life is good. 

Anti testosterone take over

It wasn’t long after parts of the government were exposed for their complicity in the Communist Chinese doping Chinese urban fast food with anti testosterone agents.  That it had gone on for years without anyone being aware wasn’t surprising since the media was no longer free and journalists were ghosted routinely. 

 The success had been greatest in LA, San Francisco New York and Chicago.  The Midwest was essentially immune because of their access to Whole Foods.  A lot of home cooking remained except in the large urban areas where young men often didn’t even  have microwaves. The inflation and housing costs had increased so most loved in their pseudo barracks lwith room mates and little freedom or independence.  

The girls were increasingly attracted to the immigrant men from large families shouting fertility to the Marxist feminist minds of increasingly pheromal young arts students.  Offended by everything masculine in their white cohort they couldn’t find fault with the swarthy men because that would be racist. They didn’t even bother to report the gang rapes growingly prevalent in these crowded urban settings where police were castrated and only criminals carried guns.

The Communist Chinese forces landed in Canada with the welcome of Prime Minister Trudeau.  The Chinese in Vancouver had been warning of this invasion but those most vocal just went missing along with their families as Communist secret police had been resident many years.  PM Trudeau called the massive increases of Communist troops  across he country a training exercise.

“Are you suggesting a Wolverine or Red Dawn  scenario?” Matt asked his friend as they sat by the campfire in the hills. They’d had a feast of rainbow trout they’d caught that day. 

“I think that movie was a wake up call but not at all realistic if you’ve watched the war in the Ukraine.  I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re all chipped already but if we weren’t the communists here would chip anyone they suspected or even chip their own informers and napalm the whole area. Communists are godless as everyone is quick to deny. Stalin kill millions as did Mao. There’s no way a kid commando exercise is going to work”  John said sipping the coffee he’d laced with evaporated milk and Canadian honey.

‘What do you suggest?” 

“I don’t know. Really. The communists are ready and willing to take us back to the dark ages so long as they win. They will nuke and starve and destroy. That’s always been their modus operandi. They’ve controlled world media and universities too so they might not win the hearts they always have the minds.”

“Why can’t they win the hearts too if they’re so good.” Asked Matt.

“Too many witnesses. Too many survivors.  The massacres and mass graves stink up their history despite how many CBC outlets they buy.”

The pine trees surrounding them looked especially pretty in the light of the fire. The red orange embers glowed beneath the dancing flames .The wood smoke blew away from them but the scent was divine.

“Argentina, even Chile might be the answer.  Commando units and family based resistance was the reason the success of the Chetwyns and Afghans. Lenin and Engles hated the family. Saw it as the supreme  threat to the State.”  Matt said.

“What about Trudeau and traitors like him.”

“They’ve been bought.  Promised that they’re be safe on some island like the Khan’s .  All these weak men will seek out everyone for their own protection. I suspect he cares for his children.  But beyond that he’s pure narcissist.  The joke is the guys envision themselves in some Utopian post law and order state ,not realizing they may as well be in a prison of their own.  Gilded cage no less. But imagine Trudeau with a place down the road from Korea’s Kim.  Trudeau wouldn’t last a week.  These pampered western leaders haven’t a clue what the communists and jihadis are really like.  They’re so Christophobic and terrified of  God that they don’t even realize the depth of the demonic and soulless. Civilizations isn’t that bad when you consider the alternative. “

“I’m rather fond of indoor plumbing’ said John putting another log on the fire.  The dog woke up to watch that event.

What about the girls.”  Asked John,

“That’s been what’s so hurtful. If they all began growing beards men would express some concern and investigate. But it just seems the women have been glad to take over. They’ve never wanted to work together. They’ve just wanted dominance and don’t care that there’s millions of Communist Chinese soldiers whacking off now to western girl porn having all  promised a big breasted white girl after the takeover.  Cleopatra is an ideal but she was the smartest woman of her day and there’s a lot more dumb Karadasians today”.  

The tent beckoned as they both doused the fire before turning in. 

“I think the girls are a silly lot  but I have a lot of faith in the mothers and grandmother’s especially those who kept their men and didn’t fall for the promises of government hand outs that put their children into second class dependency”

“It’s all bunk you know,” said Matt

“Yea.”

They were looking up at the canopy of stars.

“I haven’t a clue what is happening. Democracy is a conspiracy theory. I might just be a voice over on this comic strip written by Steven King when he was drunk.”

John laughed.

“I prefer to think I’m in a Richard Adams comic strips”

They stepped through the tent flaps. They had two cots with sleeping bags and a hanger for clothes. They’d even laid out a small woven carpet between the cots. Matt turned on the battery operated lantern.

When they were both in their bags John finally said.

“There’s always the hope of space travel to escape.”

“Yea escape. There’s always hope.”