Respect/Respectful/Respectfulness and Dental Work

A person I admired called me disrespectful.  We disagree but the precise implication was that they by contrast ‘disagree respectfully’.  

In communication theory one of the strongest schools of thought is transactional analysis. This suggests that communication break down occurs when a person speak to another not as adult to adult, or parent to parent, or child to child but rather innappropriately as in parent to child or adult to child, the so called ‘talking down’ or ‘we are not amused’ or ‘who made you sheriff’.  

I have been fascinated by the shift in political debate from logic to purely rhetoric and marketing.  For a decade I’ve used Canadian Parliament as an example of the worst communication strategies.  I’ve suggested our PM should wear a wife beater under shirt because his ‘gas lighting’ and ‘never addressing questions’ but using all openings for promotions and blaming is the outright lowest form of communication.

There is a palpable arrogance of the indoctrinated left who believe that they are ‘right’ as only a parent can believe they are right and rapidly their discussion shifts from adult to adult or child to child into their taking a parental tone in speech or the very nature of the communication.

In marriage therapy I commonly encountered this distraction from the discussion at hand when one or the other said,”don’t use that tone’.  As a hamm radio operator we commonly tell each other to turn down the ‘squelch’ however this is mearely a break in the communication to repair the technology it doesn’t ‘stop’ the discussion.  However emotional communicators can easily ‘derail’ discussions by shifting from adult to adult to being the ‘child’ and suddenly claiming ‘victim ship’ or by claiming the parent and suggesting ‘you shouldn’t speak like that’.  

In the movie Grand Canyon a punk brandishing a gun says ‘do you respect me? The old guy replies “I respect the gun”:.  

I was drinking and joking on holidays with a group of tourists we’d met in Mexico decades ago when this fellow out of the blue, or it seemed to me, said ‘You can’t speak to me like that. You have to show me more respect.” “I’m sorry I said “I didn’t mean any disrespect’, I said not knowing what I’d said or done that triggered his reaction.  But at that moment he waved to some men in the near empty bar and three guys came over and opened their sports jackets showing their guns.  I’d never seen a mini oozie outside of a movie so truly remember that moment. The other two guys had hand guns.  I can honestly say I respect the gun and apologized profusely and was glad to get away alive. I also never wanted to play there again and have never returned.  

The old adage is you have to ‘earn respect’.  Much older and more experienced and now having worked in jails and asylums I can honestly say I probably didn’t do or say anything to ‘upset’ this person since as a cartel criminal with respect based on violence earned as such I would tend to believe this is a game he plays to assert his authority with his gang, joining in with rich tourist, I was poor in the company I was that night, mostly university professors and businessmen . None but him would ever have had the need to dominate the conversation with such a shore of force. There is this idea of an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.  By contrast I remember an argument with a Harvard PHD I had and I remember we all deferred to his opinion in the matter of physics not only because of his obvious authority on the subject but also because he made sense.

My South American professor friends says she finds Canadians insipid because they won’t talk about religion or politics and are too emotionally immature to shout about such subjects as she and her friends do in cafes when they’re not taking sides in soccer games.  She escaped from being tortured and left her country when a dictator took over and only returned a decade later.  I enjoyed working with refugees and torture victims and listening to the lessons they learned about politic.  So many these last few years have told me that the communism they escape in Eastern Europe is now here.  Persians tell me that Trudeau is just like the Ayatollah’s men. Always there ‘politeness’ and ‘people playing nice’ then the gloves come off.  

The business of ‘victim ship’ is ‘micro trauma’ and of course those who can be hurt by a ‘slight’ are very special and can get ‘stolen glory’ from those who by contrast have the scars of jails, cigarette burns and lashes.  Stolen glory

The definition of ‘respect is the ‘feeling of admiration or high regard for someone or something”.  Synonyms for respect are ‘esteem’ and ‘veneration’.

So in a discussion if a person uses ‘rhetoric’ to ‘muddy the discussion’ , a particularly distasteful form of communication like ‘muddying the waters’ does saying the person who has assumed the role of sheriff or parent is being ‘hypocritical’ suggest ‘disrespect’. I respect the gun.  The victim wins by massing others to do ‘proxy violence’.  

The women’s liberation movement and suffragette movements arose in the time of chivalry when a woman could feint and men would rally to defend her. Now we have an era of ‘false allegations of sexual violence’ or ‘rape’ where so often the ‘victim’ says ‘well he would have ‘or he had that tone’ or ‘micro violence.’  

In parliament the opposition party constantly said yes or no answer please to the childish leader who would not engage as an adult but use any opportunity to blame, shame and then self advocate while never answering the question.  We were raised on Perry Mason which became the Lincoln Lawyer but all we see is Goebells and Hollywood.  Accuse the other guy of what you did and lie lie lie.  

There a concept of ‘terms of engagement’.  In marriage therapy no one plays the ‘court game’ because who threw the first punch can never be answered.  Respect is earned.  

We are kind to each other. Being kind to the proverbial Hitler does not mean I would treat him with admiration or high regard.  

I shared with my friend the anti Americanism is again being promoted by our government.  It was the same when the American objected to Victoria dumping its sewage in the oceans so Canadian condoms were all over the Washington beaches along with other refuge. Eventually Victoria cleaned its sewage but politically it demonized Americans and played the ‘we are Canadians’ card implying our shit didn’t stink.

I miss the CBC with Barbara Fromm and truth and honesty in Canada before the Liberal Party became communist china with the Mao Cultural revolution censorship and the CBC as the liberal newsletter.

I’m a conservative and remember when I stopped drinking that I realized that my being liberal was because they supported free drugs and binge drinking.  I miss the country songs that preceded today’s marketing of booze and the rock and roll songs that promoted peace and had insights that we don’t hear in rap.  I am so dissapointed in the news. I probably don’t show a lot of ‘respect’ to people in political discussions because it always seems that someone is getting paid for their position and my own experience is dealing with the elderly and disabiled on fixed pensions and the fat cat liberals and those with indexed pensions or owning houses that are sky rocketing in price while the food banks are being used the highest amount in history.

I’m not retired. I don’t’ have a pension or health care or all the advantages that others have but I have had wealth and privilege and am doing just fine but the atmosphere of fear that has been percolated in Canada this last decade affects me as all those i know and care about are buying chicken instead of steak and staying home as opposed to going on vacation.

So I’m probably just not a wanting to hear more ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’.  “Jan 6 was as bad as Pearl Harbour” Democrat ranting and Bill Gates polluting the sky allegedly to block the sun and slow global warming with C02 the food of plants and our breath demonized by arts students.  It’s all bizarre and I’m told again ‘You are being expelled for saying ‘fuck’.  

I respect the gun and I don’t want to play with people who want me to ‘behave’ as they do.  Disagree with me but don’t tell me how to behave in peaceful conversation. 

I remember being drunk at a New Years Eve party and these two women showed up for the lobster feast my friend put on. I think I said ‘nice tits’ because the woman had nice tits and was wearing a big hole fish net top that did nothing to cover herself up. She was competing with skin and frankly I must have thought they were nice tits because I said that. She had a glass of scotch and threw it at me. I ducked . And the glass broke on the wall. The host came over and asked her to leave.  She said ‘did you hear what he said.  My friend said yes, “nice tits’. Bill thinks of himself as a conneoseiur of tits and probably is but we respect freedom of speech in this house and don’t respect violence.  If Bill hadn’t ducked you would have hurt him and as it is I’l have to fix the damage your glass did to the wall so please get out’.

I was so disheartened to hear that British are being jailed because there is no longer ‘freedom of speech’ there.  L

I am here on the border of California, Arizona and Mexico.  I’ve been enjoying talking with people with a variety of view. Interestingly the Mexican merchants I was speaking with who my friend Laura and I like are appalled at their corruption and mismanagement of cartels and borders. I was fascinated to hear them describing their president as we describe Trudeau.  Meanwhile I was in a line and a dozen of Americans around me were thanking their lucky stars for Trump because they had hope for their economy now. Several vets were glad that he was pulling them out of the stalled wars which 70% of money was going missing.  

Another Canadian and I shared how we so enjoyed being able to travel to the US and hear a different view from the propaganda of CBC and eastern Canada.  I’ve personally been enjoying Smith from Alberta’s and wonder what I’m doing staying in BC when so many of the people I respect and admire have moved to Alberta.  Well, I keep thinking about fasting from food as it’s obesity that’s the basis of cancer and fasting counteracts it. Fasting also can cure cancer early.  

Yet here I am feeling alone and isolated wishing I could agree with the sickness of communism as it pollutes . I’ve spent so much of my life at variance with group. Not drinking these last 26 years has been a huge difference. I sometimes miss the stupidity of dope smoking .  I got to church and hear the minister sharing that the pope says we shouldn’t be putting up walls and I can only think of this Emperor Pope Francis in his Vatican country a veritable fortress.

Hypocrisy. I thought I was a hippie because I was turned on to hypocrisy. 

Oh well I miss the editor who would take this reduce it to a paragraph and make me a bunch of money. As it is I journal and journal and journal and feel better in the end .

Saying thank you Jesus. I hope I can stay in Canada. I love the wilderness. My friend moved to Texas. I thought of going to Ireland yet I love my life now leaving BC for Jan and February to get sun because I’m afraid of dying of pneumonia now having had a near death experience with Covid in Bombay.  I also had a year of treatment for TB and too many friends are dying. I’m of that age. Another mentor died. 

It’s a sunny blue sky day without the wind and warmth instead.  I have a little work and calls to do but really it’s a free day between dental treatments.  Tomorrow my mouth will be done and I can move along with a major task of self care and treatment completed.  

Thank you Jesus. Thank you God. Thank You Holy Spirit. Thank you Trinity. Thank you 3 in 1 god . Thank you ancestors . Thank you Mom and Dad. Thank you brother and cousins and aunts and uncles and living and dead. Thank you grandparents and great grandparents. Thank you neanderthals’ .  Thank you Homo Sapiens. Thank you CO2 and O2. Thank you Sun and Moon and Stars. Thank you planet EArth.

Thank you God of Gods.

 

Sin and the 12 steps

Richard Rohr, Franciscan monk, proposed that sin was the biblical word for what we call addiction today.  Sin was used in archery to denote ‘missing the mark’.  

 In Romans 7:19 Paul said, For I do not do the good I want to do but the evil I do not want to do …this I keep doing.”

This gets to the core of intention and outcome.  Dr. Phillip Ney felt that the second law of nuclear physics pertained to sin in the world,  A perfect state would be described by the first law of thermodynamics without entropy.

Milton in Paradise Lost best described the first angel , Satan, as preferring to look at his shadow than to turn around and lose himself in the light of God’s gaze.  

Pride is the first sin and also the hubris of the Greek philosophers.  

The 12 step programs once called  the “way out’, describe the individual aa overwhelmed by separation and alienation and seeing their individuality, the ego, as all.  Psychological studies of alcoholics and addicts showed them to be developmentally regressed, selfish and self centered..

Anna Freud, the child analyst daughter of Sigmund, described the developmental journey from the narcissism of the baby to the altruism of the grandparent.  Alcoholics and addicts were seen as “stuck’ in childhood or adolescence using coping skills which no longer served in the mature adult world.  

C.S. Lewis , the great Christian theologian said ‘ don’t look for God in the wall’.  That’d like looking for love in all the wrong places.  

The old joke about the materialist scientist of the distant future is that they confront God and say they can create human and all of life from dirt just as God did. But as they are about to demonstrate their prowess God says, ‘get your own dirt’. 

In the church the sins have been separated in to most serious or mortal or lesser. Venial..  Pride is considered to generate all other sins,    Humility is considered the ultimate antidote as is the understanding of Grace,  The song of addiction is Frank Sinatra’s I did it my way’.  I especially like the Eagles Song, Desperado. The first step of AA is ‘surrender’ but not as in the military use of the word which my friend skips to say ‘her own position was likely overrun’.   It’s more like the Kenny Rogers song the Gambler. You have to know when to fold them,  We don’t need to take the down elevator to the basement or subbasement. We can get off at any floor.  

The 12 mortal sins are 

1, Murder

2. Adultery

3. Theft

4. Bearing false witness

5.  Blasphemy 

6. Apostasy

7. Despair

8. Gluttony

9. Greed

10. Lust

11 Sloth

12. Envy

AA and NA address these in the 12 steps and it’s interesting to consider the 12 step spin offs that have occurred.  Sexaholics anonymous focuses on lust , Overeaters anonymous on Gluttony.  Indeed Alcoholics, narcotics, cocaine anonymous and marijuana anonymous could all be said to focus on gluttony and sloth.  The addiction is not just what is done but what is neglected.  

Dr AbrahamTwerski addresses much of these ‘errors’ in his classic book ‘Addictive thinking, understanding Self Perception.  The alcoholics and addict wants to be the ‘victim’ and say ‘poor me, poor me, poor me another drink’. Yet in AA the men say’ get down off the cross we can use the wood’.  

The idea of right size is finding purpose and meaning and joy and pleasure in right measure but not in over indulgence or unhealthy abuse,  As Joni Mitchel sang of Wood stock we have to get back to the garden. For  most that means we have to sacrifice something, the apple being the image.  Each person’s apple is different.  The epidemic of America is obesity and fentanyl and the study of disease is about not judging the person who has a different addiction  Take the log out of your own eye before you try to take the sliver out of another’s eye, said Jesus.

Trungpa, the great Buddhist teacher,said that we in the west suffered ‘spiritual consumerism’. We wanted to ‘own’ and keep that which is at best rented or leased.  Ernest Becker wrote the classic psychiatric book, the Denial of Death.  Existential angst is fundamental root of human existence.  Yet in communion we can love and only love conquers all.  Jung talked of the shadow self. In 12 steps they say we are as sick as our secrets. Addiction is the symptom of the spiritual disease. The anxiety we feel is described as the god shaped hole that substances can’t fill but community can. We are not alone.

Love God

I was taught to Love God. I was taught humility in my home. As a child I was taught to kneel beside my bed beside my mother praying to God. God was the parents of parents.  God was Father.  God was Creator. God was Mother. God was All.

Later I would learn the spiritual stories of God. I’d read the Scripture, the Holy Bible, the story of the Western Men and Women’s relationship to God.  I’d later read the Gita, the story of the God Krishna,  I’d read of the Yahweh and Allah and the Abrahamic God. I’d read of primitive peoples and the Golden Bough. I’d read of child sacrifice and killing the king. I ‘d read of cults of mushroom, Peyote, and drugs, then the cults of sex and tantra and all the taboos cults with their inner secrets, so often experiential and secretive. 

I’d study in depth the first 300 years of Christianity. I’d see that the Church would be like a cellular creature dividing, not only in Christianity but in Buddhism and Islam.  Quickly one movement would become 10. Always the traditional would then war with the latest ‘anti traditional’.  They’d have the fanciest names.  It was always us and them.  The war was always among men to get you to agree with me. The old paranoid tribal chant. « You’re with me or a gin me.’  We are a religion of peace, only if you become Muslim.  We have the one God. We are the True Christian Church. We’re the only ‘right’ Buddhist teaching. We are only path. We are the one. Me first.  I am the prophet of all Gods. I’m the prophet of one God.  

People are funny.

Religion is made by people out of the god stuff of Spirituality.  Spirituality is about the Holy Spirit.  The second person of the Holy Trinity of Christ. The most basic idea is that there is an unseen world. Nature spirits and superstition.  Freud’s unconscious. 

The plants will grow only if you don’t have sex on Sunday.  The fear of this food or that clothing. It was everywhere.  You knew your tribe by the fears and superstitions.   You had to cut your hair in just this way. The penis was cut in this way. The Labia that way  If you were with us you had your patch that way. If you were agin us you had your triangle pointed up or down depending on whether or not you ate the placenta or were vegetarian. 

It’s truly bizarre.
Don’t criticize my dreidel and I won’t criticize your cross.  There was the war of weapons and the war of words. All over the world the war of religions went on.  

Then finally the best religion of all was the Trojan Horse religion calling itself Aetheism. We are the ‘No God’ religion and the Communists arose with their red colour and new rituals and their Trinity of Lenin, Mao and Marx.  Kill the ‘God’ people because we’re the « No God’ people . The Philosophers fought the Theologians and the Red hats slayed the white hats and aborted all their babies. The elites kept their babies and even created child sex cults in Brussels to play  with the babies of Catholics whose babies lived only because they were not being aborted..  

No God Religion with new or words and new old rituals fought the God Religions with Old new words and Old new  rituals. Separation of Mosque and State never occured.  The State had it’s State Religion and called them Chinese Churches.  The No God religion let in the God Religion and the Religion of no Separation of Church and State spread in the Religion of Acceptance, tolerance  and love.  The religion of the head in the sand.  While the nature spirit religion joined with the no God religion and they all got angry when you called their obsession God because they now used new term Culture, the culture religion fought the fashion religion.  Then the Secularists were the Aetheists in disguise when originally the secularists were for all God religion.  Pantheism and One God. The names changed faster than hockey teams.   

Only the children got confused with the names.  Vegas was Vegas whether it was Brussels or Dubai. 

The No God religion liked to propagandize the children like the God religion did. They all used the children for food and cannon fodder and propaganda movies.

It was ridiculous. It was all just absurd!

It was so human and adolescent. The Fuck God cult versus the Fuck No God Cult.  The idols of money and power and the planet. Save the goat in the Honduras. Help the spotted owl in the Congo.  Whose going to care for the homeless. I’m the Goddess of Fashion. Dress like me. Speak French like I do.  Drive a BMW,  Vegetarianism or insect eating .  Sex dolls.

It’s all such Silliness. God is a comedian.  The No God Religion has outlawed comedy as hate speech. 

Today it’s Christmas.  A baby was born.  The birth of Christ.  God came to see and live his creation.

Jesus, a God Spy.  

Jesus thought childhood was okay despite the constant attempts by the Big Man /Big Woman to kill his parents.  His friend John was beheaded by the Big Woman. The Big Woman just got the Little man to do her will. The Big Man killed babies.  But he didn’t Kill Jesus.

Arjuna asked Krishna why go to War.  Why not. The war will go on with or without you.
Buddha said « Desire is suffering ».

Killing women and children is easier than killing men.  It’s a major embarrassment if a Big Man can’t kill a little child.  Jesus lived.  

Jesus taught love.  The Big Man/Big Woman, the No God, and many Gods, Power and Money Gods, , really , everyone , they all killed Jesus.  But not as a child.  He was lucky. Today he’d be aborted.
But he made it to being a young man before they got him.  He fooled them. For awhile. It was all God’s plan, story,script.

The oldest law of the world is the Chines law of the Fish. There are big fish and little fish and the little fish must be fast and numerous.  

Jesus was killed as a young man.  Crucified.  But then he  resurrected.  Unlike today  they couldn’t censor the tv and internet in those days so the word got out. This world of money and power and big men and women,  No God and Idols, couldn’t stop the Gospel, the Good News. The word got out.

The Gospel spread.  The Holy Bible said the Baby Jesus resurrected. There was life after death. There was Good and Evil. God’s law said don’t fuck the children.  There is a God And God’s law. It’s not seen. It’s inside. It’s all creation. It’s here and now.  

Love God.  Love your neighbour as yourself.

Today is Christmas.  It’s not No God day. It’s not Santa day. It’s not Muslim day or Pagan day or Lenin Day or Mao day or Money day or shopping day or whiskey day. It’s the Birth of Christ. It’s the Birth of the one who said Love God and Love Your Neighbour as Yourself. So the Big Man and Big Woman Killed him along with all the people who couldn’t put Humpty Together . God Creates. Good m’en and women create. Bad boys and girls destroy.  The Creator came to earth and we killed him.

 I killed him. You killed him. We killed him  There’s only Now. Time is the illusion of mind. On this  day of the Birth of Jesus there was the Crucifixion and the Death of Jesus and the Resurrection of Jesus and God.  It’s all in the seed.  The idea of Love. 

Love God and Love your Neighbour as Yourself.

Love God and Love your Neighbour as Yourself

Love God and Love your Neighbour as Yourself.

That’s what Baby Jesus is all about. It will probably get you killed. you won’t be popular.  The nations of the world, all the United Nations,all the Prime Ministers and Presidents,Politburoes ,Priests ,No God Cults,Climate Change Cults , Drug Cults, Herb Cults, Nature Spirit  cults, Culture Cults, fuck baby cults and Kings and Queens aren’t going to much like you.  They’ll fake it.  Big people aren’t known for their humility.   

Jesus Christ is Lord.

Love God and Love your Neighbour as Yourself.

Today a Baby is Born.  

Gratitude, Psychiatry and World Politics

Well I’ve made it to another weekend. I haven’t been fired by the extreme left wing government. I haven’t been arrested (yet) on any of the new anti speech legislation.  I’ve not been notified by the authorities that some one has complained ‘anonymously’ about me.  I’ve survived the zero tolerance that’s now in place for being masculine. I’ve read the article in the news this week about why it’s okay to hate men.  I’ve tried desperately to be as boyish and girlish as I can be and it seems to be working.  I’m staying under the radar. In Canada the tall poppy gets cut.  The left makes themselves look taller by cutting off the heads of the right.

I’ve not been raped in Canada ( known the world over as an infamous world rape centre.).  I’ve not been shot at.   I’ve not been bombed. I’ve not been attacked on the street by rabid crowds of Trump Haters who lump anyone whose not a card carrying Pravda spouting Marxist as a Trump fan.  I’ve continued to say I’m a Christian and only been persecuted in covert ways.  It’s still not quite acceptable to persecute Christians in Canada overtly. The Jews are taking a beating there. Since Trudeau came to reign it has been open season on Christians and Jews but I’ve got through the week without being attacked or arrested. I think it helps that I’m not a very good Christian.  I hear that the finest Christians and Jews and even Sikhs and Buddhists I know are feeling the heat much more than me. It’s always indirect though. The enemies of freedom don’t feel strong enough to do more than send the Antifida Nazi Bullies to shut down speakers.

I watched the Munk Debate on Political Correctness and Steven Fry gave me hope.  I enjoyed Red Sparrow and the exposure of the thinking in the State spy schools.  It’s a way of believing. It’s all about ends and means and power. But I’ve not been assasinated or attacked in the newspapers by the big money Bud Inc Goebbels with their lies and marketting. Big tobacco and the Liberal money are so behind the marijuana legislation passing in Canada, money, money and more money.  If I was still smoking marijuana I’d see freedom to grow my own plants as an advance and not notice that freedom of speech has been stepped back decades.  Tit for tat.  Politics.  It’s somehow not affected me directly. It’s a bit removed.

The tax grab carbon tax and all the lies and corruption associated with that has affected me. I am paying double to drive and commute.  I can’t afford to live in Vancouver, the money laundering real estate and casino capital of the world.  I increasingly question whether it’s worth the commute.  It certainly wouldn’t be if I had to drive my truck. But this week I’ve been riding my motorcycle and as dangerous as that is in Vancouver where so many bad drivers reside it’s been really enjoyable and cheap.  So I’m thankful that these things in general have not been in my face.

I’ve watched the Lindsay Shepherd tapes and am so glad that these back room sociopathic administrators are being exposed. I’ve been involved in several of the those kangaroo court quasi legal affairs with exactly the same personality and lines right out of the same ‘playbook’.  It probably had something to do with the nightmares I had several times this week.  Being interrogated in a room with swaggering men and women intent on silencing opposition to their rule and gaining more power for their aberrant ideological position.  It’s been terrible watching the palace revolt and going along with it because I felt so alone.  

Yet here is my heroine Lindsay Shepherd suing Wilfred Laurier University for it’s nepotism.  It took me back to my correcting this administrator, pointing out their error, quoting and referencing the true facts only to be told “I don’t care what the facts are . This is the way it’s going to be and I don’t care what you think. Either you do as you’re told or you’re out.”  By then I’d learned to tow the line, not
question, do as I was told, collect my pay cheque and thank God I wasn’t the other guy who was getting shook down and robbed.  At times like this I’m back on the playground surrounded by the tough boys and their girlfriends having the boots put to me and getting knifed knowing all I can do is



be defensive protect my head and hope the abuse is over soon. Because if I fight back the whole legion comes forward. I’ve stopped the killing and negligence so many times but it’s just ended in pay back.  But there’s  Lindsay Shepherd standing up to these low brow knuckle dragging thugs.  It gives me hope. I am so thankful for seeing that this week.

I was thankful too for the Christian baker going free but saddened that Trinity Western College couldn’t graduate law students because the aetheist hegemony in the Canadian law society has yet again dominated the administration.  I can’t wait till the pendulum swings back to the middle and the extreme left wing Supreme Court of Canada gets a compass.  CBC news propaganda persisted so I was happy that I resisted the fried foods of journalism and listened to audio tapes this week instead.  Campbell’s series on Neurology was terrific.  I liked best the interview with the writer of Neurology for Dummies.  My gay neurologist southern friend did a great job of an addiction medicine series that I so enjoyed. His humor was infectious.  

It’s so easy to get into tunnel vision and miss the really good in the world. I loved the blossoms and taking pictures of the first black berries of the year. I loved walking with Gilbert along the river and seeing the glorious green foliage.  The winter is over and spring and summer are on us. The sunshine and heat have been so life giving. I ve enjoyed being outside. More walks for Gilbert.  Motorcycling and cycling.  It’s really wonderful to be in the green of Burnaby. I love the green of Burnaby.  It’s just that I can get in my head and miss what’s around me. I remember my sponsor Scotty telling me 20 years ago that his sponsor told him to get a wildflower book and pay attention to the surroundings. I did then and I’ve done it again.  I’ve got the app, Plant Snap and am so enjoying getting an idea of the names of the wonderful inhabitants of forest and garden. 

I think maybe the grief is lifting.  Losing my brother, my best friend and another really good friend and Gilbert losing his eyes was all so sad and tragic. I hate that any weakness brings out the attack in the hostile toxic workplace. I’ve only shown weakness a few times in my life and each time the authorities have played their ‘we’re only helping, we’re not the enemy smiling attack’. Any imperfection and you’re struck down while they’re utterly grandiose and incompetent and only
survive by being above the law that the rest of us play by.  It’s equally true that I’ve not been focussed because my hearts been broken again. When my mother died it was the same.  Get back to work and don’t pause , 2 weeks for grief and any longer and we’re kick you out. Bean counter Stalin’s . I see it done routinely in my work and do everything I can to protect the grieving. 

I’m thankful for the week I trained with Elizabeth Kubla Ross.  I didn’t know the society was so cruel then when she spoke of advocacy but I know it first hand now.  I’ve been blessed to be there helping so many parents who have lost their children and their childless bosses have been incorrigible.  I’m thankful I still have empathy. I found myself again wishing I had more psychopathic traits to deal with the authorities but I know that to be like that you have to see the world in a unidimensional way. I’m thankful for Piaget and his teachings of development and the capacity for abstraction. There’s a capacity for ‘empathy’ which is a developmental process.  The minds that jack step and fill little

boxes and do exactly as they’re told suffer the banality that was Neuremburg. 

I don’t have that ‘missing bit’.  I do judge too much and have a false idealization of authority as a Canadian. My immigrant doctor friends laugh at me because they say coming from the corrupt
countries they came from they don’t expect the management to be anything but corrupt so are more often impressed than I am who expect the beurocrats and leaders to just do their jobs without all the favouritism and nepotism and influence peddling.

I’m grateful that I know these great docs who give me perspective. I’m really blessed to be in Canad and must resist the old man thinking of ‘the way it was.’  I’ve lived with more ‘acceptance’ this week, with reality, living ‘life on life’s terms’.  I was at more meetings too. I was honoured to be asked to give a friend a cake.  It was a wonderful return to a place where I had so many years of friends and saw some of them again this night.

I am blessed to have Laura as a friend.  It’s sad there are so many lonely people, so many alienated, frightened souls, all the Elinor Rigbys of all the  genders. It’s fun to have friends’ like Kevin and Anna and the God Kids and to go to church and join wit  the other hopeful positive members of society. 

I tried to tell a ground burrowing person an air and sea story. I suspect it’s like the Air Force guys and Navy guys experience talking to the mud jumpers in the Army. I was telling them about a famous psychiatrist, now dead, one of my earliest mentors, author of dozens of books, world renowned. He had been praying at funerals for the dead to resurrect.  It’s not something he broadcast.  I heard about it from a world renowned minister and another psychiatrist.  The minister was worried for the great man’s ‘reputation’ whereas the other psychiatrist, a close friend had told me he’d begun doing the same. The latter said it helped keep him humble. Neither he or the great man had resurrected anyone. He believed however that Jesus  could resurrect a person and said that we could do what he did if we believed.

We’d all seen unexplainable miracles in our practices and we knew the great man’s idea about mind over matter and spirit over mind. He believed that the world was a collective idea, like Dr. Owen Barfield, one of the Inklings in Oxford and Dr. Carl Jung’s “Collective Unconscious’.   Like Dr. Eben Alexander, the Harvard Neurosurgeon, son of a Neurosurgeon and father of a Neurosurgeon, explained in “Proof of Heaven’ he believed that the “person idea’ , the ‘soul ‘ as it were ,continued and that perhaps it was possible to communicate with this ‘person’ despite their death.  Lazarus was by far just one of thousands of cases and Dr. Moody another psychiatrist had taken the time to study
the Near Death Experiences. 

 I was trying to explain ‘gently’ this idea in terms of the ‘information packet’ and the computer,servers , nodes and the internet. I’ve always been interested in fractals and communication but I could tell I was ‘upsetting’ this person.  Like a lot of people even the word ‘death’ upsets them It was obvious she wasn’t a psychiatrist and hadn’t read the classic text “Denial of Death’ which so informs the work of a psychiatrists communication like the other classic “the Discovery of the Unconscious’ or even “Man’s Search for Meaning.”  

She thought the ‘great man’ was ‘crazy’ and said ‘he’s wrong’. And I knew she was a ‘judgemental’
on the Meyers Briggs scale, that this was her character and that the ‘great man’ by contrast was the
opposite, a “Potential” , truly open minded sort.  I was ‘both’ and so often wished for that closed mindedness that couldn’t see the ‘possibility ‘ in people. In my work in psychotherapy I have ‘believed’ in my patients. I’ve seen the IQ increase 10 and 20 points in therapy and I’ve watched the 
become rich and the psychosomatic heal. Over and over again I see people overcome addictions and it’s always a joy to be part of this process.  If anything I know to my very bones the possibilities of people and have been so glad to see the work on ‘resilience’ catch up with our clinical observations. 

But this ‘ground person’ didn’t ‘believe’ and was even angry that the great man with no illusion persisted in trying to see the dead resurrect. I thought of the Wright Brothers and their plane. This woman would never fly no matter how important she was in her own eyes and the eyes of the Army but I love the ‘creative’. I loved reviewing Dr. Valiant , head of Harvard Psychiatry’s book on Creativity and Psychotherapy and Communication.  I was taught I must believe because the patient has given up hope.  Yet I’ve also been taught that I can help an individual who wants help and I can even according to Prochaska move their motivation along from contemplation to determination but that I must consider always the very essence of ‘triage’.  

Four of the ISIS killers Trudeau says can be ‘cured’ with ‘counselling’ have gone ‘missing’ in Canada. The veterans who fought fanatic Muslims in the Middle East think Trudeau is a dangerous fool. I just talked to one who was wounded overseas and they’ve had increasing nightmares since it was reported that this murderers were lose in Canada. Apparently there are now hundreds of them. 

Dr. Milton Erickson believed that people could be healed and changed with hypnosis but he knew that ‘time’ was a factor.  Even with millions of dollars worth of psychotherapy many hours weekly and years there were those sociopaths who simply could not be changed any more than school can teach all students to read and write let alone work computers.  A Canadian ISIS returnee has been bragging in the American papers about killing allies and raping women. Trudeau didn’t ask psychiatrists about the ‘limits of counselling ‘ and didn’t even respect the scientific, medical and public health communities concerns about the ‘legalization’ of marijuana. We have all considered ‘decriminalization’ but the Liberals and in the south the Democrats have always been keen on manipulating language.

I just learned their are 32 recognized pronouns in New York. I pity the immigrant trying to learn English.  I’ve always liked the idea of the three , masculine, feminine and other, as this idea is actually present in a lot of languages. In English it was subsumed under the ‘plural’.  He , She , They.
 No need for ‘new’ pronouns and further obfuscation just a little creative intelligence, solely lacking in law and government.  Think of all the law makers who can write 32 versions of the same law charging $300 an hour. It’s that simple really, sadly, but a major factor.  In Canada the label companies were a major proponent of the two languages because all the tomato cans in Canada needed new labels and these Quebec sign makers overnight became millionaires. 

The trouble is this all doesn’t contribute to the whole. I’m thankful though I’ve the eyes to see this and haven’t been praying for stupidity as I once did. I’m blessed with intelligence and heart and family and friends.

I can see the silliness and down right insanity without being hysterical and also know that none of
this really affected me this week. I had a good week. I had a place to stay. I had great food. I even tried SKIP this week and we had a meal delivered other than Chinese or Pizza.  The possibility and advances in home improvement are so easily overlooked. I love the Grocery Store and London Drugs. I love the city with everything available so easily. I also love Amazon. I order Kindle books and physical books. Niall Ferguson’s The Square and the Tower and Barbara Ehrenreich’s Natural CAuses. They are here  on my desk being read slowly and savoured ,thanks to Amazon.  I ‘ve even got an item I’d normally have got at a hardware store but ordered on line and got it rather than waiting till I remembered to get it in some ‘specialist store’. This is amazing.  

I love that Gilbert and George are such good friends. Dogs and cats can get along so it remains possible that people will likely muddle along as they have for at least 80,000 years. 

I love that Anita and Ganesh have married and loved so long and their family is so amazing. It’s great seeing these people like seeing the cranes on top of buildings. Naomi and Dereck and Faith are just so precious. Whenever I feel down and hope fades I just look up and see the cranes which show so many people believe in the future, just like the fabulous women having babies.  I love these ‘signs’ like the spring flowers and the first berries I tasted.

God is good.  I love jokes and animal pictures on Facebook.  I seem to be helping more than 90% of those I’m with. It takes me back to being a straight A student.  I’m still getting A and even A plus in my life and work and yet the expectation is always perfection. Increasingly the society we live in demands 100%, with words like Zero Tolerance bandied about in the workplace and the mess of social life despite every engineer in the real world understanding the true nature of ‘tolerance’ . I do think Social Justice Warriors need to be required to run a dangerous machine for a few hours to learn the importance of oil and ‘tolerance’.  

But then Professor Fiamengo from the u tube  Fiamengo Files out of the University of Ottawo so graciously acknowledged the contribution of men even if the media so discriminates against the work of men.  I’m thankful I her You Tube  and saw that the ‘worker’ and the ‘doers’ were acknowledged. I never lose sight of the importance of the ‘builders’ .  I love my refrigerator and the plumbing and freshwater. I love the contributions of science and would never denigrate them or their workers. I appreciate art and culture but know even a hair dresser with her scissors depended upon a miner, a metallurgist and an inventor to be able to have the finely honed blades.

I”m thankful for today.  I see some blue sky. That’s heavenly.  So much is perspective and I am so thankful that I know that a bad attitude just makes things worse.  I loved learning the saying this week, that ‘worrying is praying for bad things to come.”  Paradoxical but true. I am thankful for the daily learning and that while there are so many struggles I am able to rise above them and see things truly.  I loved reading the history of the Crimean War with the politics of the day and Florence Nightingale and the spread of the telegraph. It was hilarious hearing how angry the Generals were to have the politicians suddenly with telegraphy trying to ‘micromanage’ the battlefields from their armchairs.  

 So much of today’s politics remain the same, what one person called ‘monkeys in space ships’.  Cannons versus rocket launchers. But the same bickering and the same childish debates.  Lots of saber rattling. Let’s hope North Korea continues to move forward into the 21st century and I can only hope that the religious fanatics in Iran will stop their supporting attacks on Israel. Yet locally my own concern is that our city council stops increasing the city congestion and pollution with more bike lanes.  Now there’s a reminder on perspective. Things really have been good this week even if I have been unsupported in work and saddened by the ravage of the Fentanyl crisis.  

I loved the  best joke this week, “I hope they don’t find life on another plant so Justin Trudeau doesn’t start given them our tax dollars and pensions.” 

I’m so grateful when I see the humor in this place. I’m thankful for the laughter.  God really must have a great sense of humor.  Thank God for comedians.  

Humility as a Spiritual Law

"Neither fear of God, nor mercy, nor faith, nor self mastery, nor any other virtue can be achieved without humility. Moreover , humility destroys all the arrows of the enemy. All the saints followed the way of humility and laboured at it…Do you see the power of this virtue? Indeed there is nothing stronger than humility, for nothing can conquer it. If some affliction befalls a humble man, he immediately blames himself for deserving it and will not reproach or blame another. Thus he endures everything that may befall (him) untroubled, without grief, with perfect calm; and so he is angered by no one and angers none."
St. Dorotheos of Gaza
I have been obsessed like many with politics recently. It is not good for my peace of mind.  I see that there are those of my friends who feel towards Donald Trump the new president of the US the way I feel towards Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister of Canada. Indeed the failure of Justin Trudeau has no doubt caused major anger and displacement of that anger towards Trudeau onto Donald Trump since Liberals will blame anyone but themselves for their failures.  I like Donald Trump and I don’t like Justin Trudeau.  They despise Donald Trump and don't have any real feelings for Justin Trudeau To the doctor in me I’d say we both have allergic reactions to two different antigens.
Regardless of this both men and their influence is in the affairs of men.  Jesus said , “Give unto Cesar, Cesar’s due.”  He repeatedly said his focus was the “Kingdom of Heaven”.  When I allow my feelings and passions to be played with by the deceitful self serving media I become a victim of the propaganda.
The basis of anger is fear. I have resentment towards Justin Trudeau because of what I perceive as his terrifyingly incompetent leadership, his wasteful spending, his allegiance to the United Nations and Saudi Arabia, his giving billions of Canadian dollars away to cronies overseas under the guise of ‘foreign aid’ where repeated investigations of Canadian ‘foreign aid’ has showed its gone directly to arming criminals;his Globalist  Agenda, his sole allegiance to Quebec ruled by biker gangs and mafia, his arrogant disgust of English Speaking Canadians and Western Canada specifically,  his importation of thousands of angry migrant young men whose extreme religion is against all that Canadians like myself value;and his appearance of utter ignorance of the cost and despair his ‘aggressive’ policies involve along with all the broken promises of the election campaign. His utter deceitfulness is frightening when one looks back at history and sees that leaders who have got into power on one mandate have suddenly switched gears and proposed a personal agenda which is self serving but threatens to bring the majority of Canadians to poverty and war.  His economic polices are disastrous.
Obviously I could go on.
I have this recurrent image of myself on my Harley Davidson Electroglyde 1600 cc Motorcycle barrelling along life’s freeway at a 110 km/hr and there in the centre of the road is a huge steaming pile of human excrement, a bullshit pile of immense dimension.  Now like a rookie motorcyclist I’m studying that pile with fascination.
( “if some affliction befalls a humble man, he immediately blames himself for deserving it and will not reproach or blame another.")
Emmett Fox, the spiritual leader, teaches quite succinctly the fundamental spiritual  ‘law of attraction’, that that which I am attracted to I will go to and will find more of and indeed God, a loving parent, will give me more of.  I am seeing politics everywhere.  I am aiming my motorbike right at the pile of excrement. I am emotionally disturbed to hear Justin Trudeaus whining snivelling debutante voice, the voice of a high school acting student. I am irritated to see his fatuous face. I’m emotionally invested in his male imitation of Myla Cyress.  I have given him power.  It’s not at the rational thought level that the law of attraction works but rather at the ‘feeling level’.  The problem with Trudeau and with politics and the media is that I’m watching them and listening to them. It’s mostly Facebook with that weasel leftist little Lenin wannabe Zuckerberg and his advertising now on my once personal stream.  His propaganda is constantly bringing forward the radical leftist agenda he wants. He’s a lipstick liberal, just like Lenin, a rich lawyer boy who maintained his wealth and status manipulating brownshirt peasants just as the socialist Hitler did to put himself in power and Lord it over the masses.
Zuckerberg now is promoting poverty for all with the globalist agenda that guarantees a liberal elite unprecedented power. World Communism (often presented  under the guise of socialism, like a candy coated tourd)achieved finally through the Frankfurt school and work of Italian Gransci et al.  This isn’t ‘paranoia’ or ‘racism’ or any of the ‘propaganda’ ‘sloganeering’ that passes as intelligence to this incredibly stupid people whose principal communication is ‘name calling’.  At least their standard chanting war refrains have gone up a notch from their ‘running dog imperialist’ poor English translation of Chinese and Russian bullies.  They’ve refined their marketeering to the local but continue to wage war on society because only with global war can they topple those who are in charge and place themselves in charge.
The Left want a revolution and they want war.  The lipstick liberals and their limousine elite crowd want total war.  Only in WWIII will they be able to ‘win’ to the top. Lenin was as great a murdering leader as Mohammed.  Mohammed was as great a war  lord as Stalin and Hitler.  There is no surprise that communists and muslims have formed ranks today to create global jiahad, sharia communism, because they are both spawn of warlords, the genius of murdering mad men.
By contrast Jesus and Buddha are not war lords.  Constantine, a Roman emperor lead Christians as did eastern leaders lead Buddhists to war but the religion of Jesus and the Buddha were not war leaders. Islam is a religion of war. Buddhism and Christianity are religions love and peace.  Marx promoted war and claimed that war was necessary. Communism is a aetheist death religion given it's the only true political expression of aetheism.  Nazism, another socialism was neopagan, lead by the neo pagan Hitler.  The paid gangs of rioters who serve George Soros and his economy crashing ambulance chaser follow the actual play books of toppling nations created by  Mohammed and Marx/Lenin/Engels and Castro and Mao.  Pierre Trudeau, Justin Trudeau's father, used the same agenda to bring tanks into Canada and declare national law before destroying the economy and overwhelming the health care system by bringing the sick families of immigrants into the country as paid voters.  It's called 'political science' and it's the science of 'soft war' which precedes 'hard war'.  These men aren't pacifists. They war mongers.  Stalin just continued the mass murdering Lennin began. Mohammed's family continued jihad right into Spain and almost took Venice were it not for the defensive Crusades that stopped their global war after the Muslims killed millions of non muslims , a practice they continue today.  Every day an Iman in a mosque in a western country calls for the death of non muslims. This is no religion of peace. Communism is equally a religion of death and destruction. Why Justin Trudeau is lying to Canadians is what terrifies us.
Intelligently I disagree with the Liberal position because Communism has destroyed country after country and the destruction of the once great Europe is occurring now because of the very policies that Justin Trudeau is putting forward.  Atheists have killed more people in a century than all the religions of the world killed in all the centuries before.
So I am afraid.  If I were calm about this matter I’d be like the great political writer JJ McCullough who always has a certain aloof wry humour to his commentary. He doesn’t have the hysteria that is so obviously insane that immediately indicates that a person isn’t there for a discussion but rather for an argument. JJ McCullough only tried to discuss the privilege and bullying of Canada by Quebec and Quebec parliamentarians wanted him silenced and censored. Today the left wants to silence anyone who doesn't promote Sharia Communism.
I don’t think I’m perfectly sane when I speak about that great asshole Justin Trudeau. There is the Big Kahuma and then there is the big Asshole.  I’m indelicate and this bothers me to.  I have been taught as a gentleman that I must respect the ‘rank’ even if I consider the ‘man or woman’ who holds the rank a ’turd’.  Yet here I am down at the low brow level of the leftist Trudeau calling him names like he and his followers did to Mr. Harper.  I have lost the high ground and am fighting in the sordid streets where the brown shirt gangsters of the liberals and their low brow followers congregate with niqab covered faces so the cameras don't pick up their looting jewelry stores.
Politics because it is about fear and aggression brings out the worst in us.  It's brought out the worst in me. It’s like the business meetings of Alcoholic Anonymous. I saw the most serene and loving of people who had shown no hostility go mad with rage over the discussion of how the chairs in the room were to be placed.  I’ve watched churches divide over the politics of who will be granted the contract for the repair of the roof. No greater hostility and violence of spirt was apparent to me than at the university where the vilest of human behaviour occurs because of the lust for power and grants in those not so hallowed halls of a great deal of business and a huge dollop of politics and just a little taste of learning.  Institutions are by nature the seats of politics and the place where humans best learn ’the sport of politics’.  There’s compromise and team playing. But they're commonly vicious and deceitful.  Canada is a toxic country.  It wasn't always such.
Anyone like me who is happiest alone is normally no better than a critic because critics are a loud cacophony of idiocy that surrounds all human endeavour. It’s the boots on the ground people like Justin Trudeau and Donald Trump who are the leaders of the world.  Donald Trump goes every day to work and Justin Trudeau goes to work when he’s not vacationing with his large extended family.
 I honestly fear I couldn’t last a day in parliament because I think politics is downright stupid. It really scares me. They’re like a street gang in suits.  Tough boys and girls fighting for their personal gain and claiming that it’s for the good of all, all the while trying to please a myriad of rich and poor suitors.  It’s horrid.
In psychiatry we speak of projection and counter projection.  When I use the term ‘projection’ I mean that I’m putting emotionally on another what I am carrying over from my past.  Counter projection is the equal and opposite play of emotional baggage. No one is without it.  If a black man has been beat up by three white men he will be suspicious of the fourth. If a white man has been beat up by 3 black men he will be suspicious of the fourth.  Everyone uses tactics to get the other person to ‘disarm’ emotionally. The strategy favoured by psychopaths and sociopaths is to demand ‘unilateral disarmament’.  “Trust me”.  The naive youth are forever becoming the cannon fodder because they’re so stupid. I’m a crotchety old dog because I’ve survived this long only because I’ve been beat up and lied to by politicians and media and the rich and powerful and gangs and I’ve just barely survived with an inordinate number of scars. If people don’t have scars they weren’t in the fight.  The guy who lost his leg in war wasn’t stupid as the people back home think, he was where the action was.  Only the wounded know.  A whole lot of people live off the deaths of others and because they’re dishonest about their indebtedness come up with all manner of insanity to convince themselves they’re better.
When I first reported to the authorities a person who was killing and breaking the law I was savaged. I have been savaged every time I have reported killers, pedophiles and thieves.  Kill the messenger is the basic Canadian strategy of ‘preserving the status quo’.  The ‘bad man’ is part of a ‘bad nest’. If you just take out one as I learned early in my career the others who support that evil turd will come after you.
Justin Trudeau represents a third of Canadians, most of Quebec, a whole lot of Eastern urban girls and boys and a whole lot of bought votes like the refugees he brought in on condition they would vote for him.  Two thirds of Canadians don’t like him.  The vast majority of Germans did not like Hitler or his party initially.  It doesn’t take a ‘majority’ of people to take over a country. That’s the basic principle of communist revolution. They take over countries by infiltration of key organizations and undermine individuals.  The problems the Americans faced with North Vietnamese is the assassination teams that roamed the countryside of south Vietnamese killing any good leaders in the villages.
 In Canada ‘character assassination’ is the name of the game and anyone who stands up to the bullies in power will be subjected to attacks the likes of what we witnessed with Donald Trump. No one will ever know how many women Obama groped and how often he said he was going to get some pussy other than Michelle.  It didn’t matter that Bill Clinton was a rapist or at least Hillary paid a woman off so she would not have to face that slur in court.  Who cares if Hillary and Abedin had a lesbian relationship but Donald Trump was slurred in the most intimate way.  The prostitutes that Mao or Lenin had were never an issue politically because the left doesn’t care about their own leaderships ‘foibles’ or ‘humanity’.  The bullies don’t have a code or standards.  They exist to use those with a code or standards against them.
I always hear loner aetheists calling people who go to church hypocrites yet there is no greater group of hypocrites than an atheist philosophy department. My favourite hypocrite is an atheist philosopher. The greatest whiner of modern times was the great deconstructionist who had an emotional hissy fit when a brilliant philosopher subjected his pet deconstruction theory to deconstruction.  Critics are only good when they are pointing fingers.
I brought up PROJECTION because I know I’m “projecting’ when I am critical of Justin Trudeau. He and his wife Sophie absolutely remind me of my time professoring at the  university when I was married and I believed and spoke all that fatuous effete dilletante crap that gets a guy laid with stupid girls after drinking a little wine and smoking a few joints. We all ‘love’ and ‘love’ is good and the girls back then were so easy, like Sophie. Sexy, easy, adoring, sensual.  A regular white bra Kardasian.  You imagine they’ve got dildos and do anal and oral sex and it’s fun in the bedroom when Sophie isn’t manipulating and conniving and giving Trudeau shit, when Sophie and his mother, the drug addict sexsensationalist Maggie Trudeau aren’t ganging up on the poor guy.  He’s actually taken his "in laws" on vacation. Where are the comedians with such rich material.  Really. Where are they.  Cowards. The Justin Trudeau family with all the sex scandals and drugs and Maggie and Sophie and Trudeau and the nannies and the private helicopter rides to satanic islands of concubines and privacy is just hilarious material but no, the comedians don't dare. Canada is a police state. Comedians have been fined for 'speech'. Overnight with the throning of Justin Trudeau the Dark Ages settled into Canada and we reverted to a world where criticizing Mohammed or Allah meant death.  Now comedians don't laugh at the bizarre nest that is the dope smoking Trudeau family.
I was Justin Trudeau. I was a young man in a very bad place and I felt suicidal with the difficulty of the decisions I had to make when I was at the top in my University days professoring and lecturing and sounding like an arrogant idiot I was. I blamed anything and everything on everything and anything but me.
Justin Trudeau’s life is the shits. I had it. I was right there mouthing platitudes and arguing with the wife at home. I never had the monster children that required 2 nannies and the dozen army and navy seals surrounding them and talking to them and keeping them in line along with the crazy wife and crazy mother and all the manufacturers of weapons and marijuana wanting me to push their product. Then there’s  the nightmares of Daddy's  elephant and the mouse  causing him to be with out sleep and he’s just wanting everyone to love him. Then the fucking media who he's bought and paid for takes a picture of him eyeing Ivanka’s tits with raw lust , and only yesterday  he elbowed the tit of just about the best looking breasts in the opposition.  No one understands what it’s like to be a castrated man and he’s acting his very best trying to please the bike gangs and mafia in Quebec and when he met the head of China he wet himself if he wasn’t sodomized by that really barbaric scary dude.  Justin Trudeau keeps having to have dinner with guys who have literally killed thousands, many with their own hands. He's dining in Cuba with guys who have gone into jails where they've personally tortured peasants then killed these defenceless unarmed men with a shot to the back of head or a slash of a machete.  Muslim leaders   are chopping off the heads of people in public executions today and men chop of the heads of their wives without legal consequence.  Justin is meeting these people and he''s got to be in shock.  This is a vacuous part time drama teacher and pot head snow board who calls himself a 'feminist' to get laid by his really bitchy silly wife.  You really don’t think the Chinese leader hasn’t taken some personal pleasure in physically snuffing out the life of his enemy with his bare hands. Lenin got a real rush killing people personally . He loved being able to use his spy agency to hunt down Trotsky and snuff him in Mexico.
Justin Trudeau liked his bro Obama, he was slick like the other boys at school, a lawyer, who joked with him after dinner snorting a few lines of coke maybe . A couple of the boys laughing over cigars Obama told Trudeau what a rush to authorize a drone strike.  They probably laughed about how they'd like to drone strike Donald Trump and maybe Rona Ambrose. God, power is glorious.  Obama was Justin's friend and now this fucking Donald Trump is just as likely to poison Trudeau in Trudeau’s eyes as he is to whack a terrorist or drug cartel leader.  Donald Trump scares the shit out of Trudeau.   That explains why Trudeau always walks like he has a wet one in his white shorts.  He’s shitting himself.  Now where are the Canadian comedians with this stuff.  Charlie Head was murdered and the fact is no one in Canada not on government pay is pay enough to take any risks. Canadian comedians are cowards. I don't blame them. But really, the material here is priceless.
I was shitting myself when I was in my thirties and forties trying to sort out the lies from the lies and having all these idiots criticizing me and judging me.  .
Trudeau is my younger self. I’ve not forgiven myself. I’ve not forgiven my gullibility. I continue to hold resentments to the leaders who punished me for reporting their killing drunken drug addicted cronies. I”m still angry that the women protected the deadly drug addicted women even more than the old boys club.  I hated the double standards.  Racism is all about letting a minority kill because they’re a minority and I watched that happened and reported that but they got a free pass but the white guy got it then I got it for ‘not being a team player’.  I was supposed to watch the killing and stealing go on and wait my turn.  I was supposed to be a support to organization and never never never never be a ‘whistle blower’.  Being a ‘whistle blower’ in my case just served to hurt the good leader who had the weak secondary so that the really evil dirty killing competitor got in power.  It was a lesson in what Winston Churchill called "real politic".  His mother slept around too but she was discrete about it. My mother didn't.  My mother and father were salt of the earth.
That’s what I like about Melania. I don’t think she sleeps around. Her son is most important to her.  My mother didn’t sleep around because her children were most important to her.  Naturally having been a son I like that trait in a woman. It’s otherwise dubious especially to a group into orgies.  They would naturally not like that trait in a woman. I didn’t like non drinkers when I drank.  I really like that Donald Trump doesn’t drink. I keep wanting Trudeau drug tested but that’s just my past talking. I was punished with years of drug testing because being the least important youngest member of a drunken orgying  drug doing important crowd who were competing with the resentful fearful political non drinking non drugging monogamous crowd.  I was the sacrifice.  Nothing changed in the bigger picture. I lost millions in potential income.  Some would say I saved my soul.  I somedays think I'd rather of saved my ass.  I took the road less travelled. Now all that history is dying around me. The players are 5 and 10 years older and dying of cancer and sexually transmitted diseases and alcohol and drug abuse and dementing early.
I don’t think Justin Trudeau has the character I had.  I probably sell him short. Politicians are such whores. I was like that. I turned down a gig as a naked pole dancer and refused to do major crime. I was invited. I was there at the gate. I turned away. I don’t know if Trudeau would.  He's always seemed so weak.  Power crazed liked his father in that way and addicted like his mother.
I’m old today. I really believe I’d take a gig as a naked pole dancer today.  If someone offered me the kind of money they offered me at 20.  I just turned down a couple of thousand dollars a day pushing marijuana. I turned down the easiest job of doing abortions with a couple of months vacation, half million a year and 30 hour work week.  God there’s really money to be made on the dark side, that grey area that the Liberal government celebrates.  I personally have moved more into public health than the personal health arena simply because I’m so tired of being beat up defending the underdogs. I’m tired of constantly paying big money out of my own pocket to stop people being killed and for what.
The fact is we get the leaders we deserve.  Isaiah said that of Israel.  Trudeau is a puppet. He’s a silly little boy with a bitch wife and a crazy mother and a flakey fatuous life and low brow take on reality, experiencing a kind of drug addicted party with all the trappings of a gang fest and he’s probably dying in side.  He's mostly likely sold his soul and his ass.
When I was in that world it was horrible. Sitting next to a guy talking about maiming someone for profit with a whole lot of shakers and makers of society around me and the wife kicking me under the table to shut up.  I remember the dinner parties of bores and all those UN type egos and the utter stupidity. I just haven’t been able to do that without pot and wine. When I was smoking pot and drinking wine I could sit at such a function and get through the night ogling the girls tits. I could even listen to my second mother in law, the greatest nut bar of womanhood mother in laws whose insanity competed with the third mother in laws whose existence was the basis of all the worlds’ jokes about mother in laws. I simply couldn’t do that today. I sometimes think that the only way a sane person could accept Canadian politics today or listen to a CBC news cast is with a shit load of LSD on board.
Some one has to do that job which is probably worse than public sanitation.  I never liked tuxedos and having my picture taken and the sycophants saying how great I was.  I look at poor Justin and see that he’s really struggling.  The mentally retarded don’t have an easy life.  I’ve known Downs syndrome trisomy 21 adults and they laugh a lot and like eating and sex but they’re befuddled by life.
I’m clearer visioned today. That they had to do that old style communist political play with Justin in front of the blackboard equation prop massacring a description of a quantum computer he'd been coach all night on and prompted by the paid sycophant reporter was just too tragic.  Seeing that and the millions that went into that little play really showed just how stupid Justin must be and how many people really know it that they have to do that kind of political marketing. It was like when the Kennedy's were boinking Marilyn Munroes their handlers couldn't get enough of them backdropped by churches and talking to mother child functions.  It's politics.  But not for the good guys. They don't stoop need to stoop so low.   And I don't have to follow them there.  I'm the one watching this World Wrestling rigged massive theft fest.
I just have to follow the spiritual laws. The spiritual law of motorcycling is to focus on where you want to go.  If you see a big pile of human excrement on the highway of life you don’t watch it. You aim away from it. You go around around it.  When you were a kid you loved to scream ‘wee’ and go right through that shit but you’re not 20 30 or 40 anymore and you don’t drink and you don’t smoke so forget it. Keep your eyes on the road and enjoy the ride.
Go to the light.
Politics in general is a cluster fuck and a shit storm. CBC is the worst of news sources.  You know listening to it is like sticking a curling iron in your ear or up your ass. You’ve never done that, thank God so why do you ever turn on CBC and see how your tax payer money is being wasted and hear the worst sharia communist propaganda. They’re not going to give you the real news. They’re not going to show Justin Trudeau hugging the porcelain and upchucking his wine and guts into  the gilded toilet. CBC is not going to let you hear that Sophie is still telling him what an asshole he is after the media showed him ogling Ivanka’s tits.  It was maybe okay for Obama and Michelle and Sophie and Justin to do a little coke and have a little group sex in the White House but despite what the media say about Donald Trump he’s not going to like a foreign dignitary lusting after his brilliant beautiful and married daughter.  It doesn’t matter that he was a young cad, a father doesn’t take that shit.  So there’s Justin with a hangover and a headache and Sophie is giving him  her "I’ve got a feminist head ache for another lifetime routine " and Myla Cyress has a sexually transmitted disease and that fat ass Kardasian that Trudeau can’t get enough of watching when he’s not having to go to those boring boring meetings, has obviously got really bad hemorrhoids.  The Kardashians have hemorrhoids. Really. I thought everyone knew.
And I’m here with my dog.  I’m an egomaniac with a inferiority complex. I’m envious and afraid. And it’s got nothing to do with what’s happening today. I’ve got to get my head in the same room as my ass is and I’ve got to get my one foot out of the future and one foot out of the past and I’ve got to count my blessings.  I've got to accept God's in charge and the world is unfolding as it should.
I’ve got to accept that if I had never smoked dope then maybe Trudeau would not have become prime minister. That's the multiverse, at that node where I chose smoking and drinking to prayer and fasting,  I took chose the path that lead to this reality. I personally by my behaviour contributed to the cluster fuck I see us facing now.  This is my part of the group karma. In an alternate reality Justin Trudeau is still snowboarding and teaching kids drama. He has the fish mongers wife and the overbearing in laws and the nannies and all that shit but Canada has a real worthy prime minister who is a statesman and doesn't do drugs.   If I had been a good man and kept my nose to the grindstone instead of ogling girls tits when I was his age I would have perhaps stayed married to those darling women I married who make Sophie look like something hit by a truck . I”m reminded of my wive’s when I see Melania with Trump and her son Barron.  My first wife really looked like Melania. My second wife looked like Nicole Kidman. My third wife when she wasn't doing drugs was great.  I really was a loser like Trudeau when I was young sounding just as god awful stupid, singing ‘we shall overcome ‘ and smoking joints and fucking outdoors after the peace rallies. God it was great to be young and stupid.  At least I knew more about science,  physics,  computers on my worst day back then than he did on his best with all the best acting and science tutors and he still got it wrong.  I also taught drama back then so I really can see how incredibly bad he is in what he's supposed to be best at.  Whenever I see him and hear him in public it's like seeing Peewee singing opera. Such a bad performance. Maybe he snowboards better. I never snowboarded so maybe I'd not know what a farce he is.
Face it .  You’re jealous of Trudeau not because of his position but because of his age. You wish you could be young again and say no to dope and save yourself that wasted time when you took so many knocks in life because when you’re not fully aware you become a target. Poor Justin probably dreams of snowboarding and smoking a joint and wonders what the fuck happened to his life. And if he hadn’t smoked dope maybe he could still be a part time drama teacher snowboarding and not having to listen to the awful little kids, the in laws and the bitch wife Sophie a real fishmonger wife if ever there was one.
Here you’ve survived. You’ve got through the age of stupidity and there’s really no need to go through it.  Fast from face book. If you can give up beaujolais you can give up Face book or at least politics. Not JJ McCullough. You can read JJ but stay away from CBC and all those other main stream media marketing war mongering lie telling smooth sounding talking dick head programs.
Remember last week how good you felt listening to neurosciences driving to and from work. And don’t you see how much better you feel reading the writings of saints.  You read what Trudeau said about something and had to clean up the shit because your bowels didn’t know wether to vomit or have diarrhea. it was so unappealing. Go to the light.  Aim the motorcycle where you want to go.  Go around the shit and the shit heads.
You want to go to the light.
Forgive yourself.  Forgive Justin Trudeau. Forgive Donald Trump. Forgive all the politicians. Forgive the institution of politics. Forgive that little weasel Zuckerberg. Forgive Merkel. Forgive Mohahmmed even if he’s dead centuries and his killing still goes on.  Forgive Jesus and even Buddha because they left you and are probably in heaven watching the world and laughing at the entertainment that all this people wandering about in shit brings those who’ve gone before and get to look back from a place of grace.
And humility.
Always remember the mantra you created in your yogi days, “I am insignificantly significant and significantly insignificant’.  Get some humility happening. It’s all outside your pay grade.  You’re just another silly critic and poor Justin Trudeau gets enough shit from his mother and his wife and those Quebec biker gangs and all his other handlers.  He’s got the stupid downtown girl groupies but he can’t even look at Ivanka’s tits  Remember the trouble that porn dog Bill Clinton had.  He must have had Hillary blasting him every night. It's amazing they had a daughter with how angry that woman is all of the time.  He just wanted to get blow jobs from every young women and whatever success he had in life he’ll always be remembered as not knowing a blow job was a ‘sexual relationship’ and being an even greater liar than Nixon.
Why focus on these guys. There’s amazing guys doing amazing science and you listen to the stupid news when you can be listening to neurosciences like you did last week, hearing about the latest researcher on synapses say.
I know you hardly ever listen to this shit. You really do spend most of your time studying science and history and theology.  You've read dozens of texts on ethics and morality.  You practiced yoga and Tai Chi and pray and meditate.  I know  You try to avoid CBC like the plague turning it off but you still turn it on.  You're like a porn addict who can't resist a peek.  Everytime you listen to CBC propaganda it makes you sick.  Still you listen a bit.  5 minutes of kiddie porn.  That's all it takes to get the addiction to depravity raved up. And here you are indulging in just a taste of CBC like a crack addict who thinks he can just have a little taste then wonders why his whole attitude goes to shit.
Then yo go to Facebook despite the bullshit it’s become with more advertising and Zuckerberg filling your screen with his left wing propaganda pieces and saying 'we thought you'd like that'. And you screaming you Zuckerberg might like crack and kiddie porn but I don't want you shit lies in my home on my computer.
I liked the  dogs and humour. It’s like you keep opening the door to strangers and wondering why you can’t even block the intrusion of psychopaths and sociopaths because you won’t accept your mind is valuable. You love when you read the Bible. You felt so good last week reading Kierkegaars that your friend John Christiensen gave you. I know you don’t seek out this bullshit but you sure spend a long time looking at this piles of human excerment on the road before your swerve your motorcycle to safety. You're like a guy whose sober standing outside a liquor store window reading labels on the bottles and complaining about the display.   Go to the light.  Stay focused on the journey.
The journey is you become more humble, more virtuous, more honest, more learned, more wise, more relatable, and more spiritual.  You want to be a good person. You want to be of service to your fellow man. You want to make money so you can direct it to where you think it serves the most good. You want to do a whole lot of good things and instead you are distracted by all the shit.  You really have to get your act together and stop letting people get into your home and keep you from doing what you were doing.  They have child locks on computers to keep the criminals away from children. You need a Facebook without Zuckerberg's propaganda. You need a radio with the CBC news deleted from the dial. You got Sirius to listen to hymns and symphony but no you still, tired, at the end, of a very long day, driving home, turn on the radio to get the CBC news and what do you get, a headache.  And it’s okay to eat ice cream and watch Star Trek. It’s not like you don’t deserve it. You’ve served for decades so doing some things for yourself is okay. But why don't you really look on the bright side of life. Let someone else take care of Trudeau and Sharia Communism. You've spent your life fighting evil and getting beat up saving lives and doing the right thing.  For nearly 20 years now you've been clean and sober and you only binge drank and smoked dope a few years of your life.  You quit drinking because of your wife's drug problem.  It was great to get the help to stay sober and it was great to make all the friends who left that Justin Trudeau Sophie Obama Michelle Ottawa Washington Swamp life.  You have a good life. You're supposed to be preparing for a good death.  Prayer and fasting. Leave this world of Trudeaus and lies and CBC propaganda and globalist communism to the next generation. They may have to have a World War III and maybe they will not make it. I worry for my nephews who are so trusting and good and my god children who are so young.  But mostly I worry for my old age.  I see the government killing us old people off and having taken from us all our lives now when we are too old killing us like the Communists always do.  Firing squads or physician assisted suicides.  It's fear of aging that makes me cranky. It's my brother dying young.  It's the patients dying daily because of Trudeau's underfunding health care and encouraging addiction and drug abuse.  It's the insanity of greedy public policy.  It's aging. I'm afraid. I'm not doing well at humility. I'm not trusting God enough. God is good all of the time and God has been good to me despite myself. I must practice the presence of God and follow the light. I have allowed myself to be pulled down into the swamp and am choking on my own choice to swim in this muck.  My job is to do my work humbly thankful for what I have and focussing on the good I can do.  I must celebrate the good and avoid the piles of shit in the road.  I need to sing praises and celebrate the journey.  It's been glorious at times.  I love my little dog though his blindness in one eye has been so demoralizing.  I am upset with the forced move and the failure of administration.  I am utterly tired of the constant demands and no resources.  I am thankful for what we are doing. I must pray more for my friends with cancer and my friends who are older and feeling as afraid as I am about the destruction of the health care system, the lack of pain management and the abuse of pain medication. But my job isn't in politics.  I have to focus on healing.  Healing at the microcosm level.  I must heal myself. Recovery and my relationship with God and learning to be more humble.  It's all going to be okay. This too shall pass. Just keep cleaning up the wreckage of your past.  Thank god you quit drinking wine and smoking dope and smoking tobacco as soon as you did and that you didn't continue along that dead end.  Take the right way around the shit in the road. See the clear open high way.
Love God and Love your neighbour as your self. Your problem is that you haven’t loved God enough. You haven’t meditated enough, prayed enough, read uplifting literature enough, laughed enough, exercised enough, walked the dog enough.  That’s where you need to focus. That’s humility. You’re a student of life. Focus on the clear path. Pay attention to the Way.
Humility is a spiritual law. If you want to feel good look to what you yourself are doing or not doing that is making you feel bad.  And if you are doing something that is off then make sure there’s more balance. Remember Gandhi and Martin Luther King both made essentially the same statement, “It’s a tough day, so I must spend more time on my knees”.

I don't know but I'm Celtic Canadian and Canada is perfect

I like to criticize authority.  In the Celtic Canadian home all problems could be laid first at the feet of the weather, or the weatherman, and then the government, unless of course you voted for that government.  This is because Scottish people, and worse even the Irish Catholics, were under the rule of the dastardly English, a depraved lowland people so utterly without morality or character as to have Scots preferring the French or Spanish for allies.  A race of people has to be deeply decadent and downright evil as to have the French seem superior. The Spanish weren't much better.
Then Scots moved to Canada as did the Irish and French and collectively left of the worst of the English behind.  No King or Queen of Europe moved it's palace to Canada and Canadians collectively were quite thankful for this.  Soon even Germans were coming to Canada and everyone was happy while Canada was a Dominion.  We paid England to stay away and Quebec as a province was content to do the jig and play the violin as far from Paris as a happy people could be.  Life was good in the old days.
Lots of furs and mines while  people smoked tobacco drank excessively and hunted and fished.  What could be better?  Anything necessary, even brides, could be obtained by mail order.  The Chinese had their opium and East Indians hadn't yet realized Canada was the greatest country in the world.  There was logging and wheatfields and when the Europeans got into wars Canadians were called upon to bail them out.  Australians kicked ass as good as the Canadians but the Gurkas and Africanners impressed everyone except the Canadian Indian warriors who terrified the Germans as much as the allies.
Canadian women were the best mothers and grand mothers in the war, became the best navy mechanics and air plane domestic pilots before being collectively condemned by radical feminists as powerless womb slaves.  This was ironic given Queen Elizabeth ruled the country, was thorougly a lady,  and never felt deprived or a victim a day of her royal life.
Now because Americans were outlaws and revolutionaries and bootleggers and thieves they refused to help Churchill in the war until the free world and the Nazi and Russians had almost killed each other.  Only because the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbour and the British Navy and the Australians knew how to fight Asians did the Americans belatedly enter the war as paid mercensaries.  Later they did some lend lease thing and set up the world banking system the way the English had done centuries before with the Scots and Irish. "We get everything and you get what we don't want." banking.
Canadians were a mouse and Americans were an elephant but Canadians kicked American ass when they tried to invade Canada and annex it in 1812.  We tried to give them Quebec for the last few decades but even America wasn't stupid enough to take it.   They already had enough trouble with Califorinia and Washington, DC.  French Canadians are much loved people but like anyone who gets infected with politics they can become zombies.
So Scottish Canadians and all other Canadians realized that America had taken the place of England as a satisfactory explanation for all ill in the world of Canadians that bad weather couldn't explain. Even better the CIA could be blamed for any ills one didn't want the Supreme Commander of the greatest World Army, Navy and Airforce to be accused of. It was one thing to criticize an agency as a mouse, another to criticize the world Emperor.
Long ago it was recognised that America was abducting all talented Canadians ,not aliens, and that explained why Captain Kirk was a Canadian.
Now the government of Canada has a choice, either to get along with the American God on earth, or be nuked. Alot of Canadians simply don't realize that while Canada would naturally win a war against the US, Canadians being individually superior in all ways to their American counterparts, there's just a whole lot more of them. Indeed if the Americans went to war with the Chinese and Indians and Russians maybe Canada could stay peaceful until the end when along with the Australians they could wipe out the survivors. Otherwise war with America would be costly.
So I sometimes think that maybe there are some people, and they aren't in the media or hollywood who actually know what's going on. I don't think they teach at universities either or they'd have lost tenure years ago.  Maybe a ski bum in Whistler or a trapper in Fort St. John but nobody in the cities for sure, actually knows what is going on in the world.
Canada is great. Canada is true. Canada is the best country in the world and Canadians are superior in all matters to everyone else. This goes without saying.  Even Canadian dogs and cats are intrinsically better.  The weather sucks at times but any other problem in the universe is probably due to the Americans who have taken over the role of utter stupidity and depravity every Scot knew was the genetic heritage of the feral English.  Ironically the English leadership had come over from France at around a 1000 ad and conquered the Celts of the day, glorious race of sacred folk they were. If the Celts hadn't sold out for French cuisine there might well have been peace on earth and everyone a billionaire.  However that was not to be and Celtish blood was to be mixed with inferior English blood.
Americans are lucky to have some Scottish blood and even some Irish.  But because America is a melting pot with more Americans than illegal aliens they lack the intrinsic superiority that Canadians have as Gods' truly chosen people. Jews sometimes think they are but Canadians know they are. God only gave Jews Palestine and Arabs as neighbours. Canada got Americans.
Obviously this is a perfect Scottish Canadian summation of world affairs.  There might be some details  I missed like why BC Bud is vastly superior to Jamaican and California smoke. It's just fact that  everything Canadian is the best except what America touches.
That said, Americans, though inferior, are kind of like family, like the lesser adopted children of the Lord.  When they wouldn't take Quebec they got the respect of Canadians. There is hope for them. They are growing up.  Maybe one day they will have an Indian president.  Maybe one day they'll have a Mexican president. Better still a Mexican Indian woman president who isn't a lawyer.
The bottom line is "I don't know'.  I know I know more than most media. I know that my ideas given the Scottish Canadian genes in my blood are superior to all American ideas even that doesn't help me know perfectly.  God speaks to me in the highlands of Canada, this pure and perfect country of the greatest people on earth, but  I don't know what to do about the lowlander Americans.
In the best of all worlds I'd organize a cattle raid and steal some beef. While we were at we'd grab Angelina Jolie and Oprah for sure.  A good cattle raid was made best if you could bring back some girls as well. The Irish would love to join us in doing that. But the trouble with that is the best beef is already in Alberta.  Long ago Quebec annexed Florida for the retired people and all I can really hope for is a future prime minister from western canada who would annex Hawaii for western Canadian retirees.  Otherwise Canada is perfect as it is.
Beyond this veracity I don't know.  Canadians are so intrinsically perfect and true and right that we can admit not knowing everything.  Not like Americans or even Europeans for that matter.  Worse the Asians and the Africans are especially bad at this.  They can't  admit their inferiority to Canadians and they they don't know.
See, Canadians are humble people. I am a humble person.  Superiority gives us that edge.  I don't know.  But then I know I don't know.  I'm humble. That's what makes Canadians dangerously superior.