Winterhaven, California, Dawn

I woke up from first night with new crowns and mouth guard.  I really was refreshed and happy. I’m feeling better with the sun and prayer. Madigan was well. He’d had diarrhea when I was out so I’ve made him rice and not fed him last night but given him several walks.  Today we had a long walk and enjoyed the sunrise.  He had an okay little poop.  I’m hopeful.  

The big questions this morning was whether to talk to the dentists about lower crowns since the upper ones make it apparent that the lower teeth aren’t as ‘pretty’. Maybe I just need cleaning. I could come back next year too.  Right now I like my smile.

Laura texted me that Ebby has told Canadians not to travel to the US because Americans don’t like us. He’s probably just trying to affect tourism but really sounds like the fool Trudeau is.  Rustad is sounding  really intelligent by comparison. The whole climate change ‘emergency’ and demonizing carbon was so artistic but scientifically stupid. Trump has returned ‘meritocracy’ and stopped the favouritism of DEI which I really like given the stupidity of having dwarf, celibate, Inuit neurosurgeon because they vote Liberal or NDP.  Such political and legal nonsense. I loved hearing that Trumps pulling the US out of the Paris treaty would save them trillions and wondered of course why ‘the budget will balance itself’ Trudeau won’t do the same.  I’m horrified at the state of the economy and the invasion of Islam young men. Trump is demanding that the borders be secured and it’s a fact that the US invasion of fentanyl and terrorists is coming mostly through Canada.  

I don’t agree with two genders but the pronouns and the entitlement went too far.  Scientifically there are 2 sexes and gender now is directly as consequence.  The ‘official’ languages in Canada are French and English despite a large number of Germans, Chinese, Indians, Persians.  So the ‘official’ genders are two.  I suspect there will need to be tweaking of this but all that nonsense of prisoners wanting sex change may be addressed more appropriately.  Pushback was guaranteed when University of Toronto wanted to fine Jordan Peterson for mistakenly misgendering a student.  I don’t know the gender of biological people but to make it my problem is grossly inappropriate. Yet there are the legitimate intersex and those who have completed sex changes.  Post orchiectomy and genital surgery I suspect there will be a place for those to be ‘female’ or ‘male’ but new definition.  This will be a scientific medical determination rather than a political legal one solely.  I will be glad to see the end of the bearded ladies. Somehow it was becoming a circus show and that was hurting those who were not into special status.  Politics.

I’m glad Trump has pulled out of the WHO.  It became a communist institution with Chinese involvement and the Ethiopian communist CEO. Truth and medicine and science are no longer at the forefront given the abuses of Covid.  

I can’t support the UN when it keeps doing shariacommunist maneuvers like calling Israel a terrorists after it is only defending itself from Hamaz and Hezballah attacks. I did see General Milley as treasonous.  So I’m glad to see him go.  

The irony is all those people who were fear mongering and doomsaying about the Republican’s last term in office turned out to be utterly wrong. Indeed Biden’s reign resulted in near WWIII many wars and major shift in power to China and the Middle East.  Russia is no longer communist but shooting missiles at Russia like Trudeau encouraged and Biden and Zelenskyy did would certainly support the return of the old hardliners.  The Orthodox Church and the middle stream have a chance in Russia without an invasion.  The Ukraine war is far more complicated than the media has portrayed it and the Crimean has been Russian since before the Crimean war so it’s no more black and white or one sided than Israel.  In fairness to Biden Syria fell on his watch and thankfully Taiwan was not invaded.  I really believe that communists don’t attack strength. That was Mao’s teaching and now with Trump a strong leader in power especially with Vance there is hope for peace , detente.

I’ve been distracted by the news so it’s all above my pay grade and wheels within wheels. The truth is all I know is today. I’m delight to talk with Laura, pray for my family and friends, glad my dog is better and thankful I have work and can be of service.  I believe in God and Jesus Christ. I pray each day for guidance.

Thank you Jesus.  

I’m enjoying being here on the Quechan Indian Reserve in their Sleepy Hollow RV Park in Winterhaven California ten minutes walk from the border of Mexico.  I really like Los Algadones.  Everyone is friendly and I’ve this new dazzling (smile) smile

Now I just need a face life, liposuction and a fountain of youth.  Thank you Jesus.

May 26, 2020 Covid Questions

I don’t know much more today than I did yesterday.  We seem to be moving further and further away from science and more into politics and hidden agenda’s each day. I don’t know why we still have a state of emergency here. I believed that business could open up and government could step back May 1 but no.  The government hovers like Big Brother.

The UN is not my government. It is a body of men who are mostly dictators and have demonstrated their intrinsic evil in their repeated calls for the death of the Israeli state. I don’t like the beheadings or the terrorist attacks or the rapes and yet the UN doesn’t really seem to care much about human rights. 

The WHO is no longer the organizations of mercy it once was. It is as corrupt as the Canadian government has become.

Every where I look I see bullies and the elite. I feel small and vulnerable and afraid.

I pray and meditate more because I don’t feel those around me are awake or aware and that they are out of their own fear trusting authorities which have proven themselves self serving.  

I think Justin Trudeau is a traitor to Canada and feel what I think Germans felt watching the rise of Hitler and his browns shirts. Trudeau is a pretty boy red  shirt thug.  It’s terrible to be born and lived in Canada and participated in politics and see the utter travesty of justice and mockery of all the traditions and conventions that were part of my upbringing.It’s like having a mad man decide that all the beavers must be killed, all the maple trees must be cut down, and all the ideas of freedom sacrificed to encourage the Sharia Communist rise in power.  I’m looking about and seeing that all the hard working responsible middle class folk I know will be like me ruined in the coming months. Already the price of food has doubled. Taxes have increased in everything and I’m working twice as hard for half what I did when I began. I see the lowest idea of ‘give them cake’ being perpetrated daily and all at a time when we know the virus is passing and herd immunity is taking place. 

We need to be cautious, us older and the sick but it’s time for the young, the under 60 year old crowd to gather outside and party hearty. Let there be love in the streets.  Camping, beaches , street festivals. They should be resuming.  That’s science and medicine.  This other thing is wrong.

But I don’t know so I’m attending a webinar with the leading minds and I’m going to listen. I’ve read all that I could, studied all I could, and I just don’t see them listening to the genius of Taiwan because of the lies of CCP and especially the dirty dinosaur WHO.  Taiwan and Iceland, Stanford and Singapore are all on the same page. Yet we seem to be listening to Brussels and Belgium, the EU, and UN yesterday news folk.  Brussels and Belgium and the EU had the poorest showing in the west. The Communists, continue to lie and cheat and war.

I’m flummoxed.

I pray. I meditate. I walk the dog. I don’t like the rain. I want to lie in the sun.  I want to hold my girl in my arms and believe in a future that is not more rape and pillage by the elite. I want to trust that Canada is my home. I have nowhere else to go.  As a third generation Canadian and a Christian and white I’m constantly being bullied these days by people who insist that it’s okay because someone somewhere in their groups past was but I’ve not done it. I’ve been a good guy and I’m being walked over and I’m tired. I’m really tired of the constant abuse by people who claim the right to abuse because they were abused. Well, I think they should have learned. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But that’s now the elite that are coming here. It’s the survival of the fittest crew, the rich and privileged who ruined their own nations and now come to ruin my country with their love of terrorism and world domination. 

Justin Trudeau gave us Islamaphobia.  Now we’re going to have Communistphobia and it will be hate speech to speak out against the Godlness murdering Communist Chinese Party just like it’s now hate speech to complain about Islam mutilating little girls before their marriage to old men at the age of 9.  I don’t want Sharia Law. I don’t want Marx. I don’t want any of that.  I’m tired like John Cleese described his feelings of watching his city deformed from a place of welcome to one of no go zones and terrorists with trucks and knives.

I’m meditating and praying and trusting in God. I’ve no faith in the government. I’ve no faith in politics. I’m ready for the inevitable war that Trudeau is creating with his divide and conquer and playing everyone against each other the exact way the Communists and the Fascists have always done.  It’s evil and satanic and yet this is the world today.  No mention of Jesus. The closing of the churches and schools while the liquor stores and pot shops stay open. It’s weird and bizarre.

I will spend the day reassuring people and telling them not to kill themselves. I will calm them. I will note that the relapse rates and suicide rates are skyrocketing while the hysteria about the virus has replaced last weeks hysteria about the planet dying. The arctic still being there hasn’t resulted in Al Gore having to give back his millions made from lies. Obama has a beach front palace despite telling us all the world is at risk of inundation by climate change. Now Bill Gates is bound to make a fortune off vaccines and Trudeau and Clinton and everyone else has tax shelters called ‘Foundations’ . I just learned that when I die Trudeau just raised the estate and death tax from 30 % to 50% . I was kind of going to work thinking that I’d leave something for my nephews and great nephews. Instead I’ve a lifetime of work that will go to a sociopath and his criminal friends.  I have lost all faith in this government.

Steal a little and they put you in jail. Steal a lot and they make you king.  Where are you now William Wallace!  Fuck Joe DiMaggio.

Alright.  Just for today.  Emotional sobriety.  All shall be well. All shall be well. All manner of things shall be well.  

Walk the dog. Make gratitude lists. Stay calm.  It’s all above your pay grade.  Jesus loves you.  Just for today.  Get through this 24 hours.  You’ve had good coffee. You have indoor plumbing, soap and shower. Be thankful. Right now it’s okay.  I will do my best today and do the work I’ve trained in and will continue to do my best.  

All shall be well. 

Progressive Nature of Alcoholism and Addiction

In meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous people who relapse describe their descent into the abyss of addiction by saying "when I was in the rooms of AA, my disease was in the parking lot doing push ups."  Returning to the struggle with alcohol they went from the plan of 'drinking like a gentleman" or 'drinking like a lady" to the all consuming animalistic life of serving the god of the bottle.
Millions of people come to AA but don't stay, simply using the success of AA to initiate their recovery in some other form.  AA showed the world in the 1930's that Alcoholism and Addiction could be 'cured' through abstinence and 'one drunk helping another'.  The 'self help movement of 12 step programs with the essential spirituality of a 'god of your understanding' ie no longer making yourself and your own desire God but rather joining group and community for a consensus reality, has served countless others with compulsions of wide variety. The recognition was the Aristotelian idea that one couldn't 'think themselves into new action but rather needed to act themselves into new thinking".  The cognitive behavioural therapy of the 12 step program as opposed to the 12 step fellowship showed individuals through action that their belief in the benefits of alcohol were cognitive distortions induced by the insaniety of addiction.
Untreated alcoholism progressed to institutions or death.  Once a person passed a certain point the so called up elevator or down elevator place, the future was either a slow or fast descent depending on how one 'controlled' the drinking, all paths downward being at best 'harm reduction' .  The only cure to date in chemical addictions remains the abstinence which causes so many addicts to say "I don't like AA because......."  Those who themselves achieve abstinence by any means see the value of AA and don't disparage it. Those who don't achieve abstinence will likely condemn all programs which come between them and their drug of choice with the passion which most recognise when we say, "the lady protesteth too much."
A tenet of AA is that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.  This is certainly evidenced by scienttfic research which to date has not be able to identify those who won't relapse to previous levels and worse.  Vaillant's research showed that relative to the general population, an alcoholic 5 years sober was 'statistically' no greater risk of drinking dangerously than a person who never drank. This is important in the work place but on an individual basis no one sober knows if he or she could pick up a drink "safely".  A Montreal study of 'controlled drinking' showed that despite 5 years of abstinence of those who returned to drinking 50% within the year drank alcoholically.  I believe it was a Dutch study that showed that 30% of those 15 years abstinent returned to drinking alcoholically.
The research suggests that there is a decreasing risk after 3 years of abstinence of people returning to their previous behaviour but that the risk of this even at 15 years sobriety is that a third risk death or institutions for the sake of a drink.  The World Health Organization designates only 'abstinence' as a cure and requires all other programs be called 'harm reduction".  Further it recommends that 'harm reduction' programs only be used in the context of a stepping stone towards abstinence not as an 'end in themselves' .
This suggests that the insaniety itself persists.  People with simple 'allergies' don't decide I'll try taking something that once caused a horrible rash, again.  Yet people who broke out in police and divorces seem to somehow figure 15 years of good living later that picking up alcohol is again a good thing.
The progressive nature of alcoholism has been the principle reason for people explaining that with relapse a person returns to previous level of abuse much more quickly than the first time. People who drank 'normally' for 20 years then drank abusively for 2 abstain only to relapse and find themselves drinking abusively either immediately or a year or so later.
Personally I remember smoking an occasional pipe or cigar for 10 years before becoming a pack a day cigarette smoker for a year.  Quitting somking on 2 separate occasions with the intent of just having a weekend smoke or at most one or two a day I was back to smoking a pack a day within six months.  Quitting again then I found the next time at six months in the week before I quit I was smoking 2 packs a day, a truly exponential increase. It's almost 15 years since my last smoke and still I occasionally 'romanticize' an 'occasional' cigarette.
Functional MRI studies of gamblers have shown that the addiction is not driven by reward associated with the 'win' but rather by the 'dice' being in the air 'just before the 'decision' of 'win or lose'.  The 'thrill' for the brain is that moment of uncertainty.  Psychoanalytically the addict has been seen as having failure in primary relationships and seeking to re enact that 'moment of abandonment'. Melanie Klein described this as the 'good breast, bad breast' moment for the infant.  The infant wants food and the 'good breast' is the one that delivers it. The 'bad breast' is the breast that doesn't appear 'on time'. The longer the delay in a child having basic needs met, ie the period of neglect, the greater the division between the good breast and bad breast.'  This explains to some extent those who are at greater risk for addiction though to date no one appears to be immune to addiction. As one cocaine researcher said "some of us might not sell our grandmother's for crack in the first week of addiction but all of us would after a few years." Addiction itself causes reversible or permanent brain injury with increasingly loss of the more human motivational structures seen in Maslow's research with the devolution over time to the 'animal' and finally 'lizard' brain of the McLean triune brain model.
All research to date on persons who develop alcoholism or addiction shows them as being inherrently 'immature' psychologically especaily around the issue of  'gratification'.  Despite this the head of the Supreme Court of Canada's alcoholism was a serious concern for the high court only decades past.  No doubt some of the early work of Beverly McLaughlin, present supreme court head of Canada was undoing that 'wreckage of the past'.
The more 'instant' a substance has for providing 'gratification' the greater the risk of addiction. This is shown in the 'addictive' potential of crack which smoked or injected has greater addictive potential than coke which is 'snorted'.  The addictive potential of injected and inhaled substance is greater than that which is ingested. This is one of the distinctions which separate the marihaua or cannibis addict from those who want cannibis for 'medicinal' purposes. The addict must smoke the cannibis whereas the healing benefits of cannibis are equal and more medicinal if taken as a tea.  Those wanting it for medicinal purposes, a highly significant minority, despite the eupheminism of "medical marijuana' the precurser of 'medical prostitution', are therefore not those who insist it only 'works' for them if it is 'smoked'.
Following on this progressive disease of addiction it's been said that the sex addict who has made a life of orgies,   doesn't truly thereafter, want to hold just hands with a nun.
The brain of the addict is demonstrably changed on a whole range of neurochemical measures. Dopamine pathways associated with the nucleus accumbens, the pleasure centre of the brain, are changed and the change persists.  Frontal lobe utilization of sugars, the food of the brain, is altered on MRI studies for 3 months after the last use of cocaine.  Marijuana remains detectable and active in the system for 6 weeks and possibly 3 months.  Alcohol influence on the liver is detectable days and weeks later.  The minimum true test of abstinence and once a diagnostic test of addiction was the abstinence from a substance or behaviour for 4 seasons or one year.  If a person couldn't stop gambling despite negative consequences, or drinking despite dui's, this was pathognomic of inherrent addiction.  Marijuana smokers who say they can go a days or weeks without a 'toke' are akin to alcoholics or  who say they can go a few hours without a drink.
There is permanent organ damage with addiction as well.  Women are much more susceptible to the physical deterioration of addiction which is a kind of poisoning of the system physically and obviously spiritually.  Spirituality is likened to Freud's 'eros' or life drive as opposed to his 'thanatos' or death wish.  The dice in the air or really 'playing with death' seen in the 'adrenaline junkie' and 'compulsive risk taker'.
The definition of addiction is that it is unhealthy and hastens risk of death whereas a behaviour such as AA attendance, normal work or church or sports or any recreation moderately followed is by definition not an 'addiction'.  The term addiction is used for 'unhealthy' substances and endeavours.
The other factor which obviously plays a role in the apparent progressive nature of alocoholism is the aging of the host.  A person will drink to a steady state they may maintain at a younger age but this drinking behaviour is 'hard' on the 'body'.  When a person abstains or takes a break it's a bit like an athlete who leaves and returns to the sport.  The alcoholic now has an older liver, older lungs, and older brain.  Addiction is a burden at the best of times.  A common time for 'relapse' is with early retirement when one has means, loss of life  structure and there's just so much golf one can play. These executives who stopped drinking often 20 years earlier begin to drink excessively in their late 60's. Alcoholism is a principal cause then for the heart disease and illness and death seen specifically in this population.  It's not so much that the 'disease' is 'stronger' it's that the 'host' is older.
The neurochemical explanation for the apparent 'progressive' nature of the disease and the high risk of return to previous level then worse for addiction is that the addiction has established an information 'highway' in the brain.  Not using the highway results in the development of other 'tracks' for neurochemical communication. However the 'highway' remains and can quickly be brought back into use. Much like we say about learning to 'ride a bicycle' .  Once one 'learns to be a drunk or addict' it's like 'riding a bicycle', the learning is always there to return to and build on.
Further if the 'thrill' or 'adrenaline rush' is of the 'dice in the air' then the death wish of addiction is to go further than one's worst last drunk.  So if a person crashed a motorcycle drunk at 70 mph  and lived maybe this time one's unconscious wish would be to 'crash a motorcycle drunker at 80 mph" and see if one lives..
Certainly that's the picture that the sex addicts give in their simply 'pleasure' driven experience so well described in  the snuff movie 9mm starring Nicholas Cage.   Only increasing risk and degradation gives the same 'high' so more and more of a thing is sought in the ancient adage of heroin addiction when one is forever 'chasing the tail of the dragon.'
Thankfully abstinence resolves this issue if the alcoholic or addict can 'surrender' to the notion that this is not their 'war' and there are countless alternatives in life worthy of such intense endeavour.  Addicts and alcoholics not surprisingly when they change their focus from death resulting activities to life enhancing ones commonly go on to great contribution and amazing success and altruism.
 It's well recognised  today that one doesn't need to take the elevator to very bottom of society but rather can get off any at any basement floor.   That then can  become one's'personal bottom' and  the basis for the springboard into a life that has been called for may 'the 4th dimension'.  Peace, bliss,  joy, happiness,  love and meaning  are  far different from the frenzied withdrawal and driven  pleasure lust of addiction.