Spaceships

“The aliens are here! The aliens are here”, the boy dropped his bicycle in the yard and ran into the house, screen door crashing.

‘What aliens,’ the old man, asked of the lady serving tea.

“I don’t know,’ she said. 

Huge spiders that all over the galaxy people found cute and cuddly were even then climbing out of a dozens spaceships. The happy lizards that were also friendly arrived in their own spaceship wanting so much to be at the greeting party.  

A broadcaster announced that the government was sending a delegation of officials to meet the spaceships that had entered the atmosphere and landed in the briefest of time defying present knowledge of physics.

‘Do you think she’ll be back with another tea soon.” Asked the old man

‘She usually is.”

The child had run next door to tell his friends and they’d all ridden back to clearing in the woods just outside town where the first spaceship had landed. It did look like a dildo. Mrs. Liu would comment that to the girls at the hair salon a few days later when they got the nerve up to visit the site themselves. They’d done their nails and hairs and wore fetching dresses with appropriately visible cleavage but also sensible shoes.

The things were huge.

Like a half dozen skyscrapers end to end the width of a city district.  The spiders were ugly. The lizards were no better.

The smiles looked liked gashes and grimaces.

The government officials , Prime Minister included, would not approach without the support of the military which they’d been trying to defund for years.

“What are we paying them for if not for this,” the pretty Prime Minister had said when another government representative questioned the cost and the impression the military might give. The Air Force had already flown a few jets by to take a closer look. The spiders had waved.

“Hello,” the prime minister said into the loud speaker, his voice finally sounding manly with the bass added electronically.  He was wearing a black suit with white shirt and tie standing atop a Hummer. A crowd had gathered despite attempts by the police to set up road blocks and keep civilians back.  

The lizards tongues shot out.

“Hello,” the spider’s said inside the heads of everyone within a few mile radius.  It was a warm mellifuous sound reminiscent of the way an adult read a story to an infant.  One almost expected to hear next, ‘once upon a time’.

The Prime Minister had been counselled as to what he said but he promptly forgot the gist of it all and in the moment the voice spoke inside his head. He’d long heard voices which he didn’t share with his fellow politicians but this was different.

“Who are you,” he blurted out instead.

The sound he heard next was meaningless, guttural ,with ratcheting hacking noises.  “The people,” he finally understood. 

A boy appeared out of nowhere on a bicycle with a few of his friends shouting up to the Prime Minister, “Ask them what they want?”

“What do you want?” The Prime Minister asked.

“To say Hello”. The spider replied in his head.  The lizards was nodding.  The movement off their gigantic heads set up a wind that threatened to blow the Prime Minister off his perch on the Humer.

“Hello, then” the Prime Minister finally said.  There were a lot of suits wanting to confer but none were ready yet to come forward.

“Hello,” the melodious sound appeared again in his head,  The masses of people were quiet waiting.  The sound of tanks and missile launchers filled the air as well.  A back ground vibration.

The boy was wrestling to stop being pulled away by a black suited muscle man with an ear fob. He had his friends had been surrounded by these body builders in suits with ear fobs. Their bikes were being confiscated.

“Ask them where they’re from.”  The boy shouted as he was being carried away.

“Where are you from?” The Prime minister asked with the help of his loudspeaker.

“There,” the answer came back from the spiders. 

‘And there,’ the lizards said as well. Looking up.

The lizards sounded different in their heads, higher pitched, almost feminine.

There was a pause then.  The spiders and lizards waited.  

The Prime Minister now conferred with his party leaders and generals.

Before they had thought to say anything more, the spiders, whose fur was considered the softest in the galaxy, climbed back into their huge spaceship. The lizards slithered back into there. The Prime ministers and masses watched as the spaceships departed en mass leaving the people behind gossiping or awestruck. The security detail let the boys go but kept their bicycles.

The Prime minister finally got into a limousine and departed along with all the other officials.

Media talking heads would speculate and say nothing for weeks to come. In the months that followed the Prime Minister stepped down despite his wavy hair.  There was much talk about the tone of his ‘hello’ and how it could have been better.  Books were written about how offensive it was to ask ‘where are you from’.  Countless shows were aired discussing what ‘should’ have been said.  Wars returned and pornography saws aired on prime time as social media.  Liquor and cigarette manufacturer profits soured.

When the lizards and spiders next met the spiders shared how they thought the little people,

 ‘Tasteless.’  said the spiders.

 »Ungrateful’. Said the lizards.

It would be hundreds of years before another spaceship visited.  By then the little people would have their own spaceships but they were unable to leave their solar system because a force shield had been set up around the perimeter.  

The little boy who’d first said ‘the alien’s are here’ was never heard from again. He and his friends never left their neighbour hood, but grew older, left home and sold used cars for a living , going fishing on the weekends. For the rest of his life though he heard the voice of the aliens in his head and was comforted by them.