Tuesday, July 6, 2021

July 4, 2021. Sunday, Hope

Thank you God for this campground. Telte-Yet. On the banks of the Frazer in the town of Hope.  I am happy to wake to fresh air and quiet. Madigan woke me from sweet dreams. He was whimpering to join Laura and I in the camper bed.  We normally wake at 630 am and he has no idea of ‘sleeping in’. I ‘ve been pleased he hasn’t needed a pee pad this trip.  With late walks and early walks he’s learned to hold it through the night.  I shot out of bed to accommodate him.
Others were on the trail, but only a few. A girl walking from the washroom with a blanket over her shoulder. The older native couple dressed and having coffee by their little camper. They smiled again as we walked by.  A dark bearded Harley guy  was dismantling his tent.  His bike had the machine sticker.  A pretty Filipino was leaving the outhouse wearing a leopard skin sheath dress. Her two companions, one male and one female were finishinging pack the tent and sleeping bags in the trunk of their older model white sedan.  This was the campground end of the park.  My camper was back along the high bank where there was water and electricity at each site.  Madigan was good enough to do his business which I picked up in a baggie and deposited in the green plastic garbage cans.
Seeing the campground wakening in the morning sun and cool fresh air, I was reminded of Salt Spring Island Round Up, Boy Scout Jamborees and camping with my parents.  I’ve tented all my life.  Car camping, motorcycling camping and now with this veritable tiny home on wheels.  I think so much of the experience is that it makes me so appreciate the ease and routine of my regular life.  Everything is a step back from the ease and comfort of home.  This coffee is made on a stove top expresso machine compared to the electric expresso machine at home.  To get wifi I have to walk down closer to the office.  At home it’s there. Here I have cellular but it’s intermittent.  Everything is just a bit more effort. I have to ration water and be aware of the holding tanks. I can’t just leave the taps on.  It’s a change too.  We’re more outside here.  At the picnic table, lying on the lawn chairs in the sun.  My home is a step back from houses. I’m mobile uncertain of where to live. Not wanting to ‘retire’ in Vancouver.  I’ve a sailboat in Ontario and spoke with friends in Calgary.  I’m paying off the mortgage just want more time to recoup. I feel like a front line fighter who is not ready for retirement but would surely like a three month break to travel again. This is good. We’ve taken long weekends to camp and I feel I get back to work and have energy to face the negativity, depression, anxiety again.  The news is never that good these days. A censorship bill didn’t pass in Senate. That’s good.
Thank you Lord for all your blessings. Thank you for my health today. Thank you for the health of Laura and Madigan. Thank you for the sunshine. Thank you for this coffee and the refrigerator of food.  Thank you for the breeze and wind here that keeps the mosquitoes and bugs away. Thank you for Madigan’s enthusiasm and love. Thank you for the books I’m so enjoying reading.  I’m devouring novels.  Just this weekend I’ve finished a dark Irish private eye detective novel, a light western and now am into the Marshall Family western. I even wrote a brief sci fiction.  I believe I ‘should’ be writing but I’d much rather read.  I blog.  This journaling is something, Like doing scales when planning symphony. Acceptance.
It’s July 4.  July 1 came and went with people wanting to cancel the day. Trudeau and his globalist traitors believe theu’re ‘transnational’. They’ve given allegiance to the UN and other world corporate communist sharia dictatorships.  The idea of a ‘federation’ is anathema to them. They want homogèny  It’s clear that ‘double speak’ rules. Diversity is the word for ‘homogeniety’.  Antifida, supposed anti fascist, is indeed fascist.  It’s 1984.  Covid has come and for now is gone. Masks off.  The fall remains uncertain. We are back to small gatherings. Maybe next week I’ll be in church, 
I took the Honda 420 Rancher ATV into Chilliwack Motorcycle to have it’s first service and the winch mounted. I have to pick it up.  One more action. More moving parts. One more challenge.  Tie and time constraints.  Challenges and adventures.  It was something to pull the trailer this weekend.  I compare this complex challenging life to those who live in condos and stay in resorts. Ironically the resort is what I associate my work with.  Going to 5 star hotels which I don’t appreciate but which do allow me to focus on the topics of study without distraction,. Here by contrast we had the refrigerator which isn’t working on the propane but is working on the electricity.  I have all these systems to maintain and will have to arrange a refridgeration fellow to come and solve it. I ‘ve done all the trouble shooting I know and now think some part is broken.  I don’t know enough but have throughout my life tried to learn about all these different systems that have been part of the survivalist, outdoorsman world.  Maintenance has always been a challenge.  Even the truck is needing to be serviced because it’s at that number of hours and miles.  One day I’ll be in a nursing home or apartment and like my dad have little to keep up. We all arrive there. The challenge finally to move our bodies and feed and care for the very basics of existence.
I’ve always asked God why. What am I supposed to be doing. What is the meaning of this existence.  What is my purpose. I liked the Donovan song « looking through crystal spectacles I can see I had your fun…..the doctor bit was so far out.’   Today I’m aware that Donovan was Scottish and that Van Morrison was Irish and the book I just read was about the troubles’.  
With my Dad he was disappointed that though I arranged for Christmas Eve dinner at the Empress while with Mom I took her to the Anglican prostestant church but she found it ‘papist’.  My grandfather was an ‘orangeman’ and marched in the Toronto Orange parade, for Queen.  My Scottish aunt was Queen Elizabeth’s chambermaid when she came to Scotland.  I visited the palaces and castles.  Dad was a successful man with 150 men working for him at times.  Mathew Conveyor’s.  I, like my brother, never appreciated these things that are so important to others. It’s not that we took them for granted it’s just that we were focussed differently.  
Thé people beside us, three units, they’ve formed themselves in a U like wagon train compound. They played their music late two nights. It was irritating.  Laura finally figured out it was the radio, a DJ, and comedy, but in a foreign language. They are brown and black, maybe Figi, maybe East Indian, maybe even black, as one is so dark, or just Caribbean. But again their teens were crossing behind our camper at 11 last night and I went out and gave them shit.  
They had no respect for ‘noise’ and no respect for ‘space’.  They are barbarians by my mind.  I laugh . They could be third or fourth generation Canadian. Our neighbours on the others side are Chinese. They are discret. Across from us there are natives and a white family with dogs and a Filipino family, as well some young people in tents. The fact that these people are ‘loud’ and ‘intrussive’ isn’t a reflection of their ‘colour’ just a lack of ‘respect’, an immaturity. They are sound bullies and space bullies.  Laura was upset.  «
« they have no respect for seniors. They just see us as old people who don’t count. It’s like the west end where everyone is drunk and stoned and smashing windows. I come here to get away from the city and it’s like I’m living next door to the DTES.’
I locked everything,
« I could kill them all and go to jail. I’m a bomb maker, knife handy, sniper insane person.  I could do that and go to jail or die in the floor of the last stand. There’s only 6 of them and against me they don’t stand a chance. I can go ‘no tomorrow’. But  I think having spoken to them as I have they’re be respectful now’ 
And they were.
I remember the day the bikers moved into the campground at Blue Lake. Thirty of them with trucks and motorcycles and boom boxes . Mom and Dad old like I am today were in their little RV. The music was blaring past midnight. Everyone was drunk and stoned. I walked up to the biggest MF and told him ‘turn your music down. My mom and dad and I are trying to sleep. This isn’t a night club. ‘. And the guy had said ‘what are you going to do about it’.  I said « I think you know » and looked him in the eye and everyone had stopped and we stood and we stared and I waited and he said, ‘let’s shut her down guys ….music’s too loud….people are trying to sleep.  And they turned the music down’ a
And I think my parents were afraid of me that night. Dad never back down from a confrontation that came to him but he’d never have walked into a group of thirty and confronted the leader. They worried about me but thanked me. We slept well that night.  
Last night we slept well.  I worry though that the lawlessness in North America is increasing and the police and courts make a show of doing their high priced jobs by arresting victims and avoiding confronting the gangs.   
I just don’t think I should have to ‘work’ on vacation but increasingly I don’t see others stepping up. It was clear that this family was offending dozens around, People don’t like having to listen to others loud music, bad smells, or have their kids in their space. I went out and checked my locks and was thankful for the security light.  Before going to sleep I touched the ligh I kept by the bed and was thankful for the puppy alarm system.
Women aren’t interested in intimacy anymore. They don’t know what that is. Consumerism is all that matters.  
I dont care for any kind of rejection any more. I’ve lost interest in gender games.  Men are beggars in Canada.  It’s an anti male society .  They call fathers’ deadbeats’.  I’m afraid of women. I’ve seen the authorities repeatedly support female psychopaths and liars to destroy good men,. It’s the Canadian version of the Communist ‘honey pot’.  Sex as a weapon.  Equality but special status.  Victim cards.  Antisemiticism. Homophobia. Islamophobia.  Feminists. The courts play the Marxist divide and conquer and favouritism. 
If you can’t beat em join. No one wants a ‘we win’. It’s always ‘I win, you lose’ in the end. Piaget development stops at the concrete.  Fear and negativity reign. I’m weary.  Get down off the cross we can use the wood.  
Laura is up saying that the neighbours have been shouting loudly, a man there all morning, shouting at his family. “Don’t know what they’re saying.”  “He’s been shouting since 6 in the morning’ 
We looked over now and see that they’re packing up to leave,  He’s likely giving orders to the teens. I think of all the little irritations in the park. The white couple, long bearded ozarks type guy, skinny lady, both sounding like smokers and drinkers, with dogs that barked and they were irritating.  The Chinese couple beside us have several kids and the natives across the way are at least seven or 8.  Gatherings. Sunday morning.  Preparing to leave.  
Madigan has ripped up his bed and torn out the stuffing. I’ve cleaned it up and put it in the garbage. He’s now fascinated by the next door children playing with space pistols. 
I’m judgemental, 
I’m irritable.  
Laura said “I wished they’d go’.  
They are.

She has no air conditioning in her West End apartment. There’s been partying all night and ambulances and police and shootings. Homeless now in the streets that once were ‘uptown’ before COVID. Now the government has given free money to so many and there’s no work and no incentive and housing prices are the worst in the world.  Imagine. Highest priced housing in our city the worst in the world.  Human feces on the streets.  No law and order.  High paid government officials everywhere and corruption.  

I’m rather blessed.  It’s a good life I have. My Cadillac problem is gettting a fellow to fix the refridgeration before I take the camper out again next month. We’re going off the grid for August long weekend.  I’m happier with bears and wolves and sleeping with a gun.  I like the wilderness.  Here I’ts actually luxurious but there’s people.  Not so bad.  A little noise and a little irritation.  I felt sad listening to the people tell me about the refugee camps, districts of thousands, gang run.  I liked the Clint Eastwood movie of the old vet on the veranda and a car name, helping the smart kid next door.  

I’ll be that irascible old man.  Any day now. I wonder about sailing solo.  There were the dinghy theives and the risks there. But in yacht world it was working fisherman and competence. Here anyone can be a member.  The cost is low. Price of a tent and sleeping bag.  We complained as sailors about the power boats, ‘stink pots’ we called them. As a young man I identified with the ‘soft rock’ folk rock jazz rock crowd and didn’t identify with metal. I was an intellectual, A poet. And there were those who wrote porn. Movie makers who made horror and I was into ‘liternature’.  Now l like symphony.  Bach appeals to me.  

In and out.

The level of tolerance, the perception,.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
The wisdom to know the difference.

I laugh thinking of Kevin and Anna with the hoard of kids and them getting out in the wilderness. The poor guy last night and the poor guy at the other RV park where the tents were walking through out campground ‘Whatever’.  The attitudes of children. My parents had their trials with me.  Now I’m experiencing karma.  Wisdom comes so late. 

Lord thank you for this wonderful place. All these people with a distribution curve and the family next door not quite getting why their loudness and lack of respect for boundaries has placed them at the lower end of the socio economic status. I’m old. I always think my ‘rig’ , the selection of things , this camper and truck for instance, it’s efficient, like my boat was salty. Now the Vespa is unsual but it’s carrier on the front of the truck is ‘smart’.  The men, especially older, compare ‘rig’s. I complimented an old guy who was here beside us the first day on his camper truck combination with the boat he was towing. We discussed adding a second stages , I’d like to add a second story to my trailer to carry a boat above the ATV and he wanted to add second story about his boat to carry more gear.  I laughed to hear Kevin thinking of one signed bigger boat to accommodate the additional kids. 

It’s nothing to do with racism here.  It’s nothing to do with the little minded political issues of Ottawa and the corruption in government and the media desperate to ‘make a story’.

Here there’s everyone and the only ‘offender’ , discriminated against, were the ‘noisy ones’.  There a sign that say quiet after 10 and the lawless beside us didn’t respect that. I’d easily be the bottom of the social heap if I began screaming at the children.  I remember in India this couple , a man and wife, who were yelling at each other. Quickly they were at the bottom of the community

I told Laura the joke about Quiddo, Everyone called me the greatest architect, the best of the best, everyone treated me with such respect, but now…no….and why? Just one goat. Now you know what they call me, not Quiddo the architect…..no”

Our social faux pas.  

I’ve used the word ‘fuck’. That’s my social faux pas. It doesn’t matter how good and kind our neighbours may be. They played their music till 3 am and were loud at 6 am.  They broke the law.

I thought it was the ‘fuck ‘ word but that was only part of it. I was supposedly an insider and it was okay for barbarians to swear but I was an ‘academic’ and we were ‘a cut above’.  I was an ‘officer’ and not an ‘enlisted’. But the officer class acted like boers with no honour, no professionalism and untrustworthiness, creepy, greedy little posers hiding behind a mask of ‘propriety’.  

I ask God what it will be when I am in heaven. Will I there get to learn the truth. Will I learn about Billy Joe and the Tallahatche Bridge, what went on at Epstein island, what ever goes on in her mind and heart when she can be so selfish, what is he thinking when he’s being a little shit. What did I do, right or wrong. They promise that your life plays before your eyes and you review all your actions. See your wrongs and your rights from the eyes of God.  

Each day I review my day and it’s okay. I’m doing okay.  I’m getting by. More positives. 

It’s a good year.  I’m thankful for Madigan and Laura.  I”m thankful for this camping trip. How Wild.  The forest fires. A town burnt to the ground.  Toxic air. No where to go and this lovely native lady letting us stay in this camp that at the time was full and because of the fires has faced so many cancellations. We’re here . it’s been a break. A change. A relaxed life. What others do who are retired. They’d stay here for the summer or some place similar. Months of reading and writing and chatting about the neighbours.  Irritation at the teen agers,

I understand conscription and peace corps.  I really am blessed. Thank you Lord for this day and all that you provide in this mystery.  










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