I’m getting the routine down. Driving long distance and driving at night are more of a challenge. The clutter at times gets to me. Having parts to so many things in such a small space. I had to move about in the cabin where I have the bars for the canvas ATV cover for fall rain hunting expeditions. They don’t store well but just sit to the side. I had the dinghy in the trailer worried it would be stolen but all the parts that go with it are in a duffle on the bed. If Laura had been along I’d have to throw the duffle in the truck or on the trailer. I see some evidence of wear and tear here and there and make a point of bringing some goop to spot check matters. The camper has really done well since I bought it.
Now the ATV is essentially new. This week I’m taking the truck in for service. Everything requires constant service and maintenance. I look at the girls who are at the gym and doing yoga taking care of their bodies and I’ve been planning another chiropractic apt for months
I caught the Vespa front wheel between the truck and carrying unloading. I’ve an improvement to make on the carrier which was meant for scooters.
I am envious of those who simply use the city and have no obligation for building or maintenance. Meanwhile I talked with a couple of guys, one redoing their kitchen and another doing drywall. We feel more competent and accomplished.
I loved the picture last night of the billionaires Musk and Bradigan. The Virgin Galactic has begun it’s space flights, million dollar joy rides I love it Circus for the elite. Meanwhile the Mars expeditions progress and crypto currency is progressing. Biden and the US are pulling out of Afghanistan. Taliban is back in control. As if no one was there. Russia is flexing it’s military muscle, taunting US and England with fly by and sober rattling. China is making up with North Korea. India is launching an air craft carrier. There is still lots of China Sea Military preparation. China has the largest Navy in the world. China told it’s nationals to get out of Afghan now the US is pulling out. The China Iran relationship continues but Afghan’s new president won’t talk to Biden. Trudeau continues to be an utter embarrassment. Dope head, pretty haired sock boy fool, taxing Canadians to poverty for the sake of his corrupt cronies in China and Asia and Africa. Canada suffers. Seniors are screwed. Health care falters. I’m concerned.
I was with Victor yesterday.He’s recovering well from his orthopaedic surgery and heart attack after his fall. It’s good to see him mobile and working so hard to get well. Madigan was a nut bar, puppy brained enthusiasm and energy. It’s interesting talking to folk in their 60’s, such life experience.
We talked of our favourite naval doctor who retired and took a younger wife 5 years ago and now seems to isolate with her. I’m amused at the stories of retired doctors. Two I know left medicine and became artists, one a sculptor, another a painter.
I sometimes reflect on 40 years of 10 hours a day 5 to 7 days a week listening to humans complain, seeing all the sickness and despair. Yes I lightened loads, yes I fixed bones, delivered babies, convinced the suicidal not to suicide, encouraged people to carrying on another day, got people to stop tormenting themselves, brought them out of the darkness of their own minds, journeyed into their past with them to the places of shame where they’d hooked their skin on a bramble and couldn’t get free. I untied knots with them. I fought devils. I was with them. I was there when no one else was. In the dangerous ly insane wards, in the jails, in the asylums. Relationship therapy. When all other humans had turned them away, the pedophilesx, the murderers ,the liars, the psychopaths and sociopaths, I sat with them. I explored their ideas and their feelings. I did this day in and day out. Others had fun. Others did things like ‘management’ and plying with money and building things. Mostly I stopped people destroying. I got them another day. And there were always those who said I wasted my time and they should be left to die or killed.
Now I’m working a lot with angry lying addicts and alcoholics, the women who project their poor decisions of the past onto the care givers of today. Those borderlines who invest their sexuality in getting an administrator or lawyer to hurt a person from their past. I have been idealized and devalued by these sorrowful creatures with tits and vaginas and dirty filthy minds who offer men their bodies so that they will whip their enemies. The evil of the Eva Brawn girls still bothers me.
I pray to forgive the men who for the sake of hope of sex with these creature3s hurt me.
I remember the first fellow who punched me at the junior high dance saying that his girlfriend said I disrespected her. I refused to kiss her. I refused b cause I knew her boyfriend who was now punching me for her sake.
I have been punched by such a stupid needy little College shit who for the promise of a fuck believed a honey pot psychopath and punished me.
I always see the movie of the communist leaders with their pistols sending the unarmed men into the war against the Germans. They are there to shoot their own in the back. The college is like that They no longer lead., They no longer have respect or validity. They just stand and shoot doctors in the back who falter.
I’m full of self pity at times wondering what life would be if I wasn’t being punished for lies. False accusations. I refused to sleep with her so she said I asked her to sleep with her. I’ve never raped or forced myself on women. Yet I have been raped and I have been ‘fucked over’ by women.
When I think each day of forgiveness. I pray to forgive my enemies. I also know that I’m not going to today hunt them down and torture them knowing that if I leave retribution to God then he’ll do a better job. He will pluck out the eyes and infest the genitals of these cows who lied to the loathsome stupid bureaucrats who dishonestly weild their Nuremberg power only to go to hell where their asses will be filled with burning rods and their genitals cut off and stuffed in their mouths over and over like Sisyphus. Liars and prostitues.
I’m trusting in Karma.
So when I wake and think about revenge. I’m thinking of the past. Revenge is best served cold. I can come back and get my enemies now as they have a score of others they have hurt. I can sneak up on them in their sleep and burn their houses down with their families and friends leave a sign on the door to show what happens to those who abuse their powers and work for Jezebells, for the Judas’s. But then Judas killed himself. And these scum of medical life will when they have a moment of realization take an overdose or kill them selves and their children so the contagion doesn’t spread.
It’s a Steven King thing.
I am looking in the past. When I look in the past and select such negatives, drawn to the old wars, made bitter because I soldiered through and did my part, my next right thing, when they did evil. I did not return evil for evil and today I’m knowing that I select the past memories based on my mood today.
I can only suck on the tit of despair if I first have a tinge then fan the flames. Yet the past is full of joy. Just this weekend camping I remembered all those wonderful times in the woods with my parents and brother. I was taken back to the good times. There are always good times . Being alive means every day of the past the good outweighed the bad.
God is good all the time. I’m off to work today. I’m thankful that I’ve had some time in the woods. I’ve a home and friends and family. I’m blessed and know grace. Thank you Lord for all the good times. Thank you for all the blessings. Thank you for this beautiful summer day. Thank you for the walk Madigan and I enjoyed and his getting into the habit of pooping when we are outside.It’s been weeks since I changed his pee pad inside. Thank you Jesus he’s alive and growing well
Thank you Lord for this day. Help me to be a better person today. Help me know you better. Help me serve your better. Thank you Jesus.!!!!
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