« I was awake half the night. I felt you pulling my hair. »
« I was brushing it out of my face. You were sleeping on top of me. I looked over half the bed on your side was empty. I thought it was intimate of you to cuddle so but your hair was in my mouth. » I said
« Does it hurt much to have a root canal. I’ve never had surgery. I’ve had wisdom teeth out but the thought of surgery has me shaking. »
I reassured her as best I could telling her I’d had 4 root canals, one done in Mexico and another in Costa Rica.
« They save the facial bones. With dentures the only alternative the calcium is reabsorbed. « Laura had two broken teeth and growing wrong. She’d been covering her mouth and worried about this since Covid. Now I worried. Hoping and praying all would go well thinking I’d have one right to have her see Dr. Doug Lovely the New Westminster dentist who had done a root canal and other cosmetic work on my teeth. I’d lost a tooth and looked like a pirate when I met him 25 years ago. I arranged for Laura to see a dentist downtown where she lived but she’d been unhappy with the care and somehow was lost to follow up. I really liked recovering from my root canal in Mexico I had when I broke a tooth at a conference. I’ve always felt a little icky after dental work but not in Mexico. The heat and sun are so healing. Algodones is the snowbird dental paradise and thousands of Americans and Canadian’a have work done here in winter because of the convenience and costs are a half to a third. I like that I don’t have to take off work when I’m on holiday and found the experience of the clinic an adventure.
Now I’m hoping Laura will have as fine an experience. She loved the staff and her experience the first day. I know she’s really excited about the prospect of having her dental cares finally addressed. She doesn’t complain and yet I’ve known how she has been anxious about her teeth letting me know the second one was broken only when I asked her directly.
I bought friends a tent and wood stove and chimney for winter camping. I’ seen them roughing it out and wanted to give them a Christmas present they’ d enjoy. I’d only sent it when I worried they’d set fire to the tent so then I sent fire retardant material to double protect the chimney tent. I always have these second thoughts wanting to do no harm and yet be helpful. It all turns out well but I have this anxiety streak that has me thinking of every potential catastrophe. Giving a plastic bag to someone I’d worry they’d put it on their head and not be able to breathe. Thank God for prayer. I’m praying all the time to shut off the Stephen King and Poe stream of consciousness. Now I’m praying Laura’s dental work today is going well.
I’m here at the coffee shop outdoors where I brought Madigan . I sat at this table a year ago. I think I was waiting for my glasses to be done then. I’ve a couple of pair of glasses being prepared now . Sol Opticians. I bought 2 here and had an exam last year. A gentleman businessman and his beautiful optician wife. They had my prescription in the computer. 2 hours.. I’ll see Laura and then together we can get my glasses. I bought her some earrings from Sandra , the lovely lady I bought earring from last year. She texted me she wanted the little identical pair for the second earring. I’ll get that for her as reward for surviving her first dental surgery apt. Sandra had lovely earring I bought for gifts for the neices and I’ve already bought the belts for the boys. I have one sweater for the great nephews but was uncertain of the size for the other so will go back with Laura and hope she can guess the size. It’s okay if they’re too big.
I have to get more American money too. I’ve Visa but they say the lines are down , more likely they don’t like paying the fee but it’s not a big deal for me to get to the bank in Yuma.
Madigan is in the camper doing his duty as a guard dog. I may bring him next time.
I’d hoped to get hearing aids but there is only one fellow selling them and they’re about the same cost as Canada. I saw a hearing aid shop in Yuma so may go there.
I was thankful to join the daily noon zoom meeting here and learn that theere’s a daily 3 30 pm dog friendly meeting just up the street from where I am on north Frontage road. I’m looking forward to when I’ll be riding my Harley to meetings. I’ve Madigan’s carrier box to so it will be an outing for the little guy too.
They have morning Spanish lessons and after noon tai chi some days at Bonita Mesa RV Resort. I’m looking forward to that.
It’s great to sit here in the warmth and sunlight people watching and writing. Lots of motorcycles today. I don’t remember the big white bull being here. I think it’s an addition.
I was here au femme last year but have no such desire or feeling now. I expect there’s a link to anxiety and depression. Here I’m happy and feel that men are appreciated as opposed to the toxic masculinity delusional world of Trudeau world, I loved Jordan Peterson’s comment, if you think strong men do damage it’s much worse with weak men. Trudeau has been such a weak parasitic leader and the WEF and Agenda 21 and Soros Open Borders NWO have been frightening. Here I feel I’m out of that Borg like reality. In Yuma I like the older community I’m in without the easily offended and entitled.
I’m really blessed. I loved that the Methodist Church here sent me a card and I look forward to attending their service again . They were so welcoming of Madigan. I’d like to go to the Christmas Eve mass with Laura and hope the Catholic Church here follows with that tradition. I’d like to arrange turkey dinner from a hotel or restaurant so we don’t have to cook.
Last night we had a feast of Kentucky Fried Chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy. We watched another episode of Lincoln Lawyer and really enjoyed it. I’ve had so many good evenings and meals with Laura. Last night reminded me of when I used to visit her old place and stay the night after a dinner and a movie. I’ve really been blessed to have such a fin friend and lover. Too often I think she deserves better but don’t want to ruin a good thing given the chaos of my past. All the women I’ve known and been with have been beautiful. I’ve known too little and now am becoming good enough person I’ve felt some contentment and serenity.
The anxiety of covid has been huge. I had that year of treatment for TB in the US after the years of work as a flying in doctor in the far north. The hearing loss came with the TB treatment but I joke it was guns, ex wives and rock and roll but no it was more mundane a si effect of a tb drug. Nothing to write home about. I joke to conceal my fear. Coming back from Delhi I had such severe bronchitis I couldn’t breathe. The air had been so bad when we were there at the excellent Internatial Addiction Medicine conference. The air hunger though and symptoms were identical to Covid. I was so anxious feeling as I did when I ran out of air under the reef and had to surface to breathe. Breathe is essential and it doesn’t take much to be humbled. I really felt that this year I had to get out of the wet and cold to be safe from covid after years of working through the pandemic. I was working virtually but Laura who was working front line in a clinic visited every weekend. I was exposed to so many people too and even attended clinic once a week. Psychologically I’ve felt my resolve waning and my anxiety increasing. I really like my life and the work and the balance and the people but I felt that I needed a break from the fear. My patients have been like nails scratching chalk boards and I don’t blame them with the media hysteria. I felt a bit spiritually bankrupt too struggling to resist the onslaught of negativity. Now I’m relaxed and truly gratefully.
Now my back has been a bother continuously since my last fall in Edinburgh. It’s actually feeling better here in the dry and hot. A year ago I had such sciatica that I wasn’t able to walk a block the pain so bad but now I’n enjoying walking the dog. The only real pain is when I walk too much. Hunting season was tough. Also at night rolling over. Dr. Gary Horvath gave me some excellent exercises which naturally I’m not doing enough. My own fault. I’m hoping here I’ll increase my exercise. With Laura here it’s been a whirlwind and I’ve not even made it to the swimming pool yet. So much to do. I’m smiling to myself at times.
I’ve not made enough time for meditation but I’m still praying and meditating and so pleased I made it to a meeting. I could do so much more but I’m muddling along. I really feel hopeful whereas before I was feeling less so. Lydia, Gary, Belinda, Mary Lou, Karen and all the folk at the clinics, especially Minos who did the xray of my back and reassured me the fracture was old and stable, all make me feel like I’m not alone. George and the great guys in my men’s meeting are such a comfort. I so enjoy Jack and Mario, « our table’ buddies. I’ve told Mario I’ll get him a rosary from Mexico so must get Laura’s input into the decision. I sometimes think of converting to Catholicism but grand dad was an Orange Man and Mom would only like Laura because she’s lovely but mistrust her because she’s papist. She ddin’t like the time I took her to Christ Church. I was raised Baptist and taught Sunday school at the Fort Garry United so I’m caught likely the ritual and pageantry of the high church and the inclusiveness and earthiness of the methodists and united church.
I need to pray and meditate more and study scripture more. Willie is right about the need for bible study and I’ve been remiss in following the reading recommendations of Phillip and James. I really ought to write a book on spirituality and psychiatry again to do my own growth in the process of sharing my thoughts. I really want to finish another book and hoped I might do that in Jan and Feb. The book on dogs is almost ready for publication but the book on spirituality would be better for my own personal growth and development.
Well it’s time. Laura ‘s probably ready. I’ll run now. Thank you Jesus for this time in this outdoor cafe and all the blessings you bring. Thank you Jesus.
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