Algadones, Mexico, Day 13

I’m so happy to be here.  I woke at 7 am, even had a shower and walked Madigan before I attended my morning meeting.  It’s a wonderful group of inspirational friends. Some call us family.  I try to attend as often as I can on line.  There’s an overlapping meeting Monday and Friday with some of the same people.  We talk of god and the unmanagability of life. Fate and free will discussion and spirituality.  It’s a wonderful way to begin a day listening to geniuses and sharing.

I crossed the border into Mexico at 930 am but here in the time zone was 830.  I first met Sandra and was able to buy the earrings Laura picked from the photo I sent her after seeing Sandra yesterday.  It’s Laura’s birthday so jewelry goes well and is easy to ship with Fed Ex or UPS. Last year I used the US mail but don’t trust Canada Post yet after their strike,  Sandra’s husband’s name is Israel and they got to the Catholic Church Sunday.  I bought some more earrings for the girls in the family as well.  I sent purses last year and they were liked .I’ll send wallets or little purses this year so it’s easier to mail.

I walked over to Sol Opticians but they had a line up so I said I’d go for breakfast. He recommended the outdoor Prius cafe down the snowbird alley.  It was good to sit outside in the sun. I loved the huevos rancheros.  Huevo Rancheros is a favourite food I first encountered in Mexico 40 years ago and have loved ever since.  The same goes for Mango Lassies I discovered in Bomba India when I visited there in the late 80’s.

At Sol Optical, the lovely woman optican told me I needed to see a specialist since she was concerned I may be developing cataracts,  My night vision has declined. She asked about floaters but I ‘ve had those since I had a ball hit me in the eye.  She recommended I see my ophthalmologist before investing in another pair of glasses. I’ll definitely do that when I return.  Dad said blindness was the worst in his late 80’s as it took away so many of his enjoyments, watching, tv, reading, driving.  I liked that at Sol opticians they were more interested in my health than making a sale.  

After I left there I walked around the corner to my favourite leather store.  The last couple of years I’ve sent purses to family and bought some for Laura when she visited. This time I only bought my sister in law a large purse while the niece in laws and Laura I bought new smaller Coach purses that appear contemporary.  I liked that being smaller they’d be easier to ship with UPS or Fed Ex.  Now I’ve done all my major gift buying but will be in the area a week or two more at least. I’ll have time to consider the God kids in that time.  

For now I’m having express at the Coffee Shop. Each year I come and sit in this corner typing with my iPad and enjoying the Mediplaza atmosphere, fairly tranquil and out of the way.  The street vendors haven’t bothered me as much this year but then I’ve only been au drab while in previous years I was dressed au femme most of my visits  alone.  It goes in waves apparently aligned with my anxiety and boredom. Right now I’m rather content with my masculinity.  Also medical conditions tend to focus attention on survival.  I don’t seem to be able to escape aging.  I might want to face it and try not to be distracted.  

I’m ambivalent about the future.  I have lost my two best friends of decades in Vancouver and my brother these last years.  My childhood best friend remains in the islands and I’m grateful for his contact.  On Facebook I see school friends and am inspired by them.  It’s difficult aging and making decisions for the future.  I am wealthy today but poor without pension and if I live to be 100.  I continue to work because I enjoy being of service.  The alternative would be to write books and I’ve certainly been procrastinating that. I really should write a discourse on psychiatry and gives talks when I travel so I can continue to write off trips.  

With the high costs of living in Canada and the punitive tax burden of the communist oriented Liberal government and their corrupt PM Trudeau who has just retired, I don’t know what to plan for the future I envisioned living in Mexico younger. I thought it would be great to live in La Paz on my ship and work half the year.  Now here I am living in southern Arizona relatively inexpensively.  I’m essentially on a mixed work vacation and can afford to do this as long as I’m working.  But there’s damage to my Camper that will cost to repair.  Last year my camper repair costs were $10,000.  My RV home costs were $2000 a month.  If i moved out of Vancouver to the country I could live for $1000 a month for housing like it is here.  I simply don’t know.  I’m mostly here because Laura is here and I’ve work and friends in the two clinics I work at.  I have my men’s group and George and others there give me a sense of belonging.  

I’m very grateful for the adventure of life.  I love my dog and travel and have enjoyed sailing, skiing and scuba diving but don’t do those anymore. I’m not even excited as before about hunting. I like motorcycling and quadding, camping, reading and writing.  I like my meetings and church.  I would like to get back into Tai Chi.  

It’s the whole issue of living in the present.  I’m calm and happiest when I’m present.  My mind is mostly at peace,  I drift into future zooming and dooming and then the anxiety strikes.,  Being told my eyes are aging is unsettling ,  For several years my back pain has interfered with sex and exercise. I’ve tried to do the exercises and swim but the pain is straining.  

I am thankful that Trudeau has stepped down. He was evil and my nemesis.  Now I feel there is perhaps hope.

I am lonely at times .  I returned to Canada earlier last year after only a couple of month because I was lonely.  I am a lone with. God.  I enjoy being here than being alone in wilderness as I did before. I like sitting in cities writing. I have my camper and it’s isolated in an RV park miles front Yuma.  Tomorrow I’ll ride my Vespa with Madigan into Yuma to attend church.  

Madigan is beginning to bark at strangers When he gets into sheriff mode, he’s bored and wants to move on,  There are children playing on the crow in the plaza and he wants to play with them.  Considering how many people I’ve seen in my life I am rather aloof now in life . That goes with the territory.  

Thank you God for this life Thank you for the color and sights .  Thank you for Madigan. Thank you for Laura. Thanks you for Adell, Graeme, Andrew , Allen , Tanya, Meagan,  Elliot and Finn. Thank you for the dogs.

Thank you for all the blessings, Thank you for the glorious hot dry weather. Thank you for the kindness and friendliness of people. Thank you for coffee. Thank you for my ability to travel. Thank you for all o the senses. 

Time to use the washroom and head for the border crossing. 

It’s a good day.  God is good all of the time 

Los Algodones Coffee Shop in Mediplaza

« I’m shaking, » Laura said as we drove to Mexico. 

« I was awake half the night. I felt you pulling my hair. »

« I was brushing it out of my face. You were sleeping on top of me. I looked over half the bed on your side was empty. I thought it was intimate of you to cuddle so but your hair was in my mouth. » I said

« Does it hurt much to have a root canal. I’ve never had surgery. I’ve had wisdom teeth out but the thought of surgery has me shaking. »

I reassured her as best I could telling her I’d had 4 root canals, one done in Mexico and another in Costa Rica. 

« They save the facial bones.  With dentures the only alternative the calcium is reabsorbed. «  Laura had two broken teeth and growing wrong.  She’d been covering her mouth and worried about this since Covid.  Now I worried. Hoping and praying all would go well thinking I’d have one right to have her see Dr. Doug Lovely the New Westminster dentist who had done a root canal and other cosmetic work on my teeth. I’d lost a tooth and looked like a pirate when I met him 25 years ago.  I arranged for Laura to see a dentist downtown where she lived but she’d been unhappy with the care and somehow was lost to follow up.  I really liked recovering from my root canal in Mexico I had when I broke a tooth at a conference. I’ve always felt a little icky after dental work but not in Mexico.  The heat and sun are so healing.  Algodones is the snowbird dental paradise and thousands of Americans and Canadian’a have work done here in winter because of the convenience and costs are a half to a third.  I like that I don’t have to take off work when I’m on holiday and found the experience of the clinic an adventure.

Now I’m hoping Laura will have as fine an experience. She loved the staff and her experience the first day.  I know she’s really excited about the prospect of having her dental cares finally addressed.  She doesn’t complain and yet I’ve known how she has been anxious about her teeth letting me know the second one was broken only when I asked her directly.  

I bought friends a tent and wood stove and chimney for winter camping. I’ seen them roughing it out and wanted to give them a Christmas present they’ d enjoy.  I’d only sent it when I worried they’d set fire to the tent so then I sent fire retardant material to double protect the chimney tent.  I always have these second thoughts wanting to do no harm and yet be helpful.  It all turns out well but I have this anxiety streak that has me thinking of every potential catastrophe.  Giving a plastic bag to someone I’d worry they’d put it on their head and not be able to breathe.  Thank God for prayer.  I’m praying all the time to shut off the Stephen King and Poe stream of consciousness.  Now I’m praying Laura’s dental work today is going well.  

I’m here at the coffee shop outdoors where I brought Madigan . I sat at this table a year ago.  I think I was waiting for my glasses to be done then. I’ve a couple of pair of glasses being prepared now .  Sol Opticians.  I bought 2 here and had an exam last year.  A gentleman businessman and his beautiful optician wife. They had my prescription in the computer.  2 hours..   I’ll see Laura and then together we can get my glasses. I bought her some earrings from Sandra , the lovely lady I bought earring from last year.  She texted me she wanted the little identical pair for the second earring.  I’ll get that for her as reward for surviving her first dental surgery apt.  Sandra had lovely earring I bought for gifts for the neices and I’ve already bought the belts for the boys.  I have one sweater for the great nephews but was uncertain of the size for the other so will go back with Laura and hope she can guess the size.  It’s okay if they’re too big.  

I have to get more American money too.  I’ve Visa but they say the lines are down , more likely they don’t like paying the fee but it’s not a big deal for me to get to the bank in Yuma.

Madigan is in the camper doing his duty as a guard dog. I may bring him next time.  

I’d hoped to get hearing aids but there is only one fellow selling them and they’re about the same cost as Canada.  I saw a hearing aid shop in Yuma so may go there.

I was thankful to join the daily noon zoom meeting here and learn that theere’s a daily 3 30 pm dog friendly meeting just up the street from where I am on north Frontage road.  I’m looking forward to when I’ll be riding my Harley to meetings.  I’ve Madigan’s carrier box to so it will be an outing for the little guy too.  

They have morning Spanish lessons and after noon tai chi some days at Bonita Mesa RV Resort. I’m looking forward to that.  

It’s great to sit here in the warmth and sunlight people watching and writing. Lots of motorcycles today.  I don’t remember the big white bull being here. I think it’s an addition.  

I was here au femme last year but have no such desire or feeling now. I expect there’s a link to anxiety and depression.  Here I’m happy and feel that men are appreciated as opposed to the toxic masculinity delusional world of Trudeau world, I loved Jordan Peterson’s comment, if you think strong men do damage it’s much worse with weak men. Trudeau has been such a weak parasitic leader and the WEF and Agenda 21 and Soros Open Borders NWO have been frightening.  Here I feel I’m out of that Borg like reality.  In Yuma I like the older community I’m in without the easily offended and entitled.

I’m really blessed. I loved that the Methodist Church here sent me a card and I look forward to attending their service again . They were so welcoming of Madigan.  I’d like to go to the Christmas Eve mass with Laura and hope the Catholic Church here follows with that tradition. I’d like to arrange turkey dinner from a hotel or restaurant so we don’t have to cook.

Last night we had a feast of Kentucky Fried Chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy.  We watched another episode of Lincoln Lawyer and really enjoyed it.  I’ve had so many good evenings and meals with Laura. Last night reminded me of when I used to visit her old place and stay the night after a dinner and a movie.  I’ve really been blessed to have such a fin friend and lover.  Too often I think she deserves better but don’t want to ruin a good thing given the chaos of my past.  All the women I’ve known and been with have been beautiful.  I’ve known too little and now am becoming good enough person I’ve felt some contentment and serenity.

The anxiety of covid has been huge.  I had that year of treatment for TB in the US after the years of work as a flying in doctor in the far north.  The hearing loss came with the TB treatment but I joke it was guns, ex wives and rock and roll but no it was more mundane a si effect of a tb drug. Nothing to write home about. I joke to conceal my fear. Coming back from Delhi I had such severe bronchitis I couldn’t breathe. The air had been so bad when we were there at the excellent Internatial Addiction Medicine conference.  The air hunger though and symptoms were identical to Covid. I was so anxious feeling as I did when I ran out of air under the reef and had to surface to breathe.  Breathe is essential and it doesn’t take much to be humbled.  I really felt that this year I had to get out of the wet and cold to be safe from covid after years of working through the pandemic.  I was working virtually but Laura who was working front line in a clinic visited every weekend.  I was exposed to so many people too and even attended clinic once a week.  Psychologically I’ve felt my resolve waning and my anxiety increasing.  I really like my life and the work and the balance and the people but I felt that I needed a break from the fear.  My patients have been like nails scratching chalk boards and I don’t blame them with the media hysteria.  I felt a bit spiritually bankrupt too struggling to resist the onslaught of negativity.  Now I’m relaxed and truly gratefully.  

  Now my back has been a bother continuously since my last fall in Edinburgh.  It’s actually feeling better here in the dry and hot. A year ago I had such sciatica that I wasn’t able to walk a block the pain so bad but now I’n enjoying walking the dog. The only real pain is when I walk too much. Hunting season was tough. Also at night rolling over.  Dr. Gary Horvath gave me some excellent exercises which naturally I’m not doing enough. My own fault. I’m hoping here I’ll increase my exercise.  With Laura here it’s been a whirlwind and I’ve not even made it to the swimming pool yet.  So much to do.  I’m smiling to myself at times.  

I’ve not made enough time for meditation but I’m still praying and meditating and so pleased I made it to a meeting. I could do so much more but I’m muddling along.  I really feel hopeful whereas before I was feeling less so. Lydia, Gary, Belinda, Mary Lou, Karen and all the folk at the clinics, especially Minos who did the xray of my back and reassured me the fracture was old and stable, all make me feel like I’m not alone.  George and the great guys in my men’s meeting are such a comfort. I so enjoy Jack and Mario, « our table’ buddies.  I’ve told Mario I’ll get him a rosary from Mexico so must get Laura’s input into the decision.  I sometimes think of converting to Catholicism but grand dad was an Orange Man and Mom would only like Laura because she’s lovely but mistrust her because she’s papist. She ddin’t like the time I took her to Christ Church.  I was raised Baptist and taught Sunday school at the Fort Garry United so I’m caught likely the ritual and pageantry of the high church and the inclusiveness and earthiness of the methodists and united church.  

I need to pray and meditate more and study scripture more.  Willie is right about the need for bible study and I’ve been remiss in following the reading recommendations of Phillip and James.  I really ought to write a book on spirituality and psychiatry again to do my own growth in the process of sharing my thoughts.  I really want to finish another book and hoped I might do that in Jan and Feb.  The book on dogs is almost ready for publication but the book on spirituality would be better for my own personal growth and development.

Well it’s time. Laura ‘s probably ready.  I’ll run now. Thank you Jesus for this time in this outdoor cafe and all the blessings you bring.  Thank you Jesus.