I slept in this morning. 8 am. The sun is up. If I wake by 6- 7 my normal awakening time, I am blessed with the colours of the dawn. I like morning. But I stayed up last night watching another episode of Harlan Coben’s Shelter on Prime TV. Then I finished reading Bear Gulch one of a series of westerns by Bunnell. After that I began reading the War for Tripoli about Greece and the Ottoman’s at the turn of the century. I enjoy historical fiction.
Now I’m drinking coffee. I prayed and meditated asking God to guide me and show me the way today. I want to be a better person, a disciple of Jesus Christ. I have a monthly doctors meeting on virtual. I’ve been participating virtually more here.
Yesterday I sat in the hot tub and paddled a bit in the pool. I made a trip to the RV store for more toilet paper and a hook for the shower. I drove into town to Best Buy to get back up hearing aids and they didn’t work, the Sony Hearing Control not being available. The TB external hard drive I purchased was not for Mac so a bit of a smozzle. The cellular booster was not available in store but only on line at Walmart and Best Buy. I enjoyed the drive. I’d been out in the day getting whopper burgers for lunch. It was a pleasant day with Laura and Madigan. She sat outside most of the day reading in the sun with Madigan sitting on her lap
I’m grateful for the sun. I’m grateful for the colours I’m grateful for being in Yuma. I’m grateful for trips to Mexico. I’m grateful for my truck and camper and that my motorcycle will be ready in a couple of days. They’re waiting for a new ignition module part. I’m grateful for my work and my ability to be of service. I”m grateful to be able to pay taxes and to put savings in the bank. I’m grateful that I’m able to work and am healthy and well enough that it’s not necessary to retire yet. I look forward to retiring someday and hope that my health continues well. I’m grateful to be sober and not smoking. I’m grateful to be part of a men’s group, Wednesday night at Burnaby Fellowship, and to be part of Doctors in Recovery and International Doctors. I’m grateful for my sister in law , Adell and nephews and neice in laws and great nephews. I’m grateful for Laura and Madigan.
Laura just crawled and tumbled out of the bed with hair a muddle and Madigan delighted to lick her ears. He’s a peculiar being.
The hills I see in the distance were what we saw in the Movie Yuma we watched one night. I’m really enjoying the picture and interconnectivity of the new Amazon Fire TV. I bought that at Best Buy when I arrived given my old tv to a fellow begging on the street corner. I appreciate the easy of connectivity. There’s actually a built in app for Prine and Netflix and ease of operation is superb. I take it off the bedroom wall and set it on the tv counter after dinner then remount it on the wall before bed. It’s convenient with the transfer of the mount from the old tv to this but this one has the struts for standalone making it moveable like that.
I’ve been rather techy here with my Star Link working great and the Bonita Mesa Wifi being excellent as well The Cellular is good with my new iPhone SE and T-Mobile .
Laura is up and I’ve given her my coffee. She’s petting Madigan who looks so happy and content. I can hear the doves cooing.
I had this thought I’d review my year but I’m thinking I’ll read instead. Learn more about Tripoli . I’d thought it was a book about the US marines but I’m thinking now that happened earlier and this is WWI era Tripoli
I had the dream that I was in a high rise apartment with balcony. Three large mountain lion cubs followed by their mother came in off the balcony I had the Ruger 30:06 but advised a friend now to use it, The girl there was pleased with the big cat cubs who were friendly. I did worry about the mother and was glad when I could shoo them all out into the hallway. I have no idea what the meaning of that was. It was pleasant and positive.
My back ache is hell on earth and yet I can’ decipher its meaning. Sexuality and spirituality and work and play are all caught up in low back pain. The studies of discipline and chronic pain and in my case no doubt false accusation and persecution by corrupt authorities. But first sense of grave misunderstanding stems from Dad being angry with me screaming when my brother let his friend hit me in the head (was it the head or back) with the 2 x 4 with the nail. I’d certainly been bugging them and refusing to leave them. The older boys. The oldest law of the world is there are big fish and little fish and the little fish must be fast and numerous. I screamed, the cry of the baby, Sunday after noon. My father blamed me for the disruption and I wrote on a piece of paper I’d been wrongly accused ‘the big boys started it….hit me first…with a weapon’. Mom liked my articulation in writing. Dad thought she was siding with the kids against him. He was Air Force. Mom was mom. The great triangle of politics . Then Ron and Mom siding together against me for upsetting dad and me the ‘black sheep’. My back hurts. Later caning and later rape.
I pray to God and turn it over but keep struggling with anxiety . All of this what R.D. Laing called a ‘Knot”. Certainly this effect the kundalini and flow of spiritual energy and love. Shame separates me from the love of God. Jesus said love God and love your neighbour as yourself. I veer from self love to self soothing with all the sins of the world gluttony, avarice, lust, anger. It’s all in the chronic back pain. Needless to say it is silly here in heaven with sunshine and beautiful skies and love. I know God loves me and I’m loved by Laura and Madigan and family and friends. Do not be afraid was a teaching of Jesus. Willie Gutowski emphasized that. He just had a birthday Laura said and I should send him a happy birthday wish. We’re getting old and it’s taken way too long for me to address old trauma that keeps cycling back like a bad rash. Termites. Mosquitos.
Thank you Jesus. Thank you God, Thank you., It’s been a very good year.,
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment