Sunday, church, god

I woke at 6, prayed and meditated. I’ve not planned to go to church.  I miss the ritual.  I enjoyed the festivity.  Yet my church experience was disrupted by covid.  The abuses of the lockdown weren’t challenged by the Anglican.  They were conformists and mainstream. I don’t even think they question climate change and collectively quite likely could vote for Trudeau.  I found myself feeling at variance with my church.

It’s pro LGBT but as I sat in the pews in a conservative dress and considered God I felt vaguely alien.  Does god love me as much cross dressed, au femme, or au drab. The church has taken on a female leadership with a mothering sense .  I found the mystery and intellectualism of Christian theology much more appealing than the social work trend that’s crept into the modern female church.  I know about rational intelligence and emotional intelligence and recently discussed social and spiritual intelligence. The latter might well be an oxymoron but I wondered what difference there would be in the feeling in the crèche or the church of the day.  The maternal church is so much before the fall.  I don’t know the ‘sin’ of women and don’t hear them ever admitting fault or sin. They judge and blame and are angry and use the courts and vote for war but they abdicate responsibility.  Did Jesus die for their sins.  Those I know are indeed most ashamed of what they did to their children in AA, talking occasionally about negligence but never regarding men yet men in AA commonly talk of making amends to their wives. The Marxist narrative of CBC and Trudeau is women are good and men are bad except in the Trudea chauvinist family where the men are superior.  Nothing was more offensive than Trudeau claiming he was feminist while having paid over a underage girl for abusing her, an act of dominance and control.  

So wherwe’s the female Bonhoeffer. Where’s St. Joan of the Cross.  Where’s the mysticism of St. Theresa.

I actually was told my a female priest that they liked the lockdowns because they had time off from ‘work’.  Where’s the ‘calling’.  What ‘s the difference between a calling and a job.  

With all the attack on ‘toxic masculinity’ and the support of women’s liberation from men where are the women counteracting the ‘toxic masculinity’ claim.  I admire the women standing up to state abortion and abortion of convenience but what of the women standing up for men.  I’ve seen mother’s and sisters but not as a whole. It was a tragedy that young women were the voting lobby for the evil Trudeau.  The evil of comminuted, the religion of atheism, was accepted by women. The church seems a favoured place for women with children or family but not the single girls or rich. I wondered about all this when I went to church had had great lady minister.  

I’ve a mother and a father and I believe I know the difference whereas the church like unisex communism at the lower levels denies the diffe3nce. Why was Jesus a man not a woman.  

Meanwhile I like the feel of smooth and as the world no longer needs me to fight the whole feminine of peace is appealing.  Fightin and war are characterized as masculine while women are celebrated as more civilized though history says men fight to protect women who were with child but today are mainly female lawyers lying for their own benefit. I was actually attacked by a greedy lying female lawyer psychopath and didn’t feel females were against her. They chose to side with the female not the victim or the right and truthful wone. Repeated ly the primitive tribalism of women and central narcissism has been an issue in these false allegations.  Right now Russell Brand is falsely accused as was Wiki leaks Lassange.

I’m reading the biography of Lich , the aboriginal women who was with the Freedom Convoy and stood up against the deeply evil Justin Trudeau, the drug pusher and liar, their and traitor. His father elected PM of Canada served only Quebec and attacked Canada and the west raping alberta and the commonwealth.  Like father like son.  I was young and liked that Pierre war a flower in his Lapel.  I was young. I was anti communism but didn’t even realize Pierre Trudeau was a communist.  

I am anima and animus, the Jungian masculine and feminine, the yin and yang, with the need for balance and I’m here spiritually wondering about female spirituality or the spiritual female or masculine spirituality or the spiritual male.  It’s the alienation. The women who makes life in this world is of this world in a way that the intellectual man is not.  I have an active an receptive personhood too with overt an covert aggression.  It’s all confusing. I muddle along

Laura and Madigan are my companions.  Laura and I had a wonderful day walking to Buraby lake and another day walking by the river wharf and lunching on fish and chips in the paddlewheler pub  We watched Barbie, the movies and the Hollywood consumer flagship.