A lovely morning

I woke up at 6 am, Great sleep. Great day.  Dog at my side.  Prayers for Center ing and help with work.  ODAAT.  Thanks

It’s a day of play with God. This walking in the Garden, naming things, appreciating things, Creation abounds. I’m blessed. Thank you.

Time to shower and then walk the dog.  Work. Tomorrow a weekend. Reading a Rimmel novel and enjoying the characters and relationships, brothers and lovers.

Fond memories of DH Lawrence. Hesse.  All those incredible books I read in my 20’s .. Meeting Dostoyevski.  A life time of greats.  In addition to the texts and technical knowledge, the study of chemistry and physiology. Now I read papers, google drugs, quickly review a review.  Then I savour a novel or a history.  

Sensuality beckons. Living in this material world.  Yesterday roasting Ethiopian coffee beans.  Today enjoying lemon yoghurt.  

We’ll be walking in a bit. He loves to sniff all the messages in the morning while the robins talk loudly above.  Robust chirps. 

Free will and determinanism.  

I learned of a colleague making twice what I did at the height of my career and had a moment of annoyance, all the sweet deals. And then I don’t focus on work like I once did making half again and feeling weary, worried that with exhaustion I might offend.  I’m overwhelmed with the increasing demands, the constant demand for perfection and the overriding threat of punishment, the obscenity and hypocrisy.  Then I realize it’s me. I’m working with a plan to paying the mortgage and face ing depreciation while asking myself what I would do other wise.  Stoicism or Epicureanism.  I am truly blessed and have no time for envy or quesioning choices.  Reflection is fine but not the self doubt or what could have been. I was a fool but that always precedes wisdom and todays wisdom might well appeal as foolishness from ahead.

I’m quite shocked at reading the ages of some celebrities.  I don’t know how I happened to be this old. We are the invisible. I don’t know why I clinic to past ideas and views when I’m no longer of an younger age.  I need to overhaul my values .  I struggle to maintain order and progress in the chaos and constant opportunity.  There’s always work to be done but its it my work. Am I best seeking God and his will for me.

Thank you Jesus.