“Alright I’m sorry I judged you. I”ve never been locked up or attacked. I guess I’m safe by their standards. Or they know they can always get to me through my children. Your being single made you a wild card I guess.
It was a year before I thought clearly again. The drugs confused me and literally scrambled the wiring of my brain. I accused his best friend of criminal behaviour and he admitted he believed it was true. The rape wasn’t isolated. That was the modus operandi. They circled the wagons and those who told me to blow the whistle used me as a weapon. They sacrificed my mind for their own progress. I’ve watched the trajectory of careers and it was readily apparent that payoffs occurred. I was marginalized. No longer a threat. My mind didn’t work and wouldn’t for a few years. If I hadn’t persevered it wouldn’t have worked again maybe.
They were sitting in a bar in Can Cun sipping iced coffee in the heat. The palm trees were moving slightly in the breeze. A long of beautiful women looked great in bikinis. The sea was flat sparkling in the sunshine.
It’s not easy being different. Spiritual rather than material . Genius rather than stupid. They use the thugs for their loyalty. They get a lot of rewards and don’t ask questions . Security guards with corvettes. The beautiful bodies and lots of time in the gym. The two eyes don’t know what they’re missing. They’re just working and their reward is inclusion and a modicum of leadership.. The inclusion is the motivation. Shame is a terrible thing. I know. Do you.
No I’ve said I don’t.
Well, what can I tell you. These are experiences. You need to take a touch of the shame everyone experience to a little degree and blow it right out of the water. That’s what this was like. Isolated and marginalized and left to flounder to the point of suicide then reeeled in and welcomed. Social solitary. That’s the stick. The carrot goes to the thugs. The sticks are for the sensitive ones. I was one of those. Once. Younger, much younger.
I met their operatives. Wealthy powerful men whose sole purpose is to protect their rule. They want control and power. All else doesn’t matter. They see themselves as number one and they even see their game and group as number one. In a world of billions they actually reduce it all to their grasp and make up rules that they can manipulate. It’s not rocket science .It’ not secret clubs. It’s just pride. Spiritual pride. Satanic some might said. But the end justify the means. And what ever hedonis pleasure they desire they take. That’s the missing children and fetishs and exotic conaibalism and hormone treatments and extraction of essence and research. Htler’s medical researchers were novice comepafre to the gulags . Decades of modern research later has progressed the possibilities endlessly. I was an experiment and frankly I don’t know why i survived . Other’s had their brains extracted . For some reason i was just given the drugs and watched . Nothing was done for my benefit. The research had a diffe3rnt purposed. It was years before I could get beyond the nightmares and give them the attention they deserved . Going through the horror, going through the pain, beyond the anger and shame.
That’s what i want to learn. I’ve interviews hundred or more like you who did survive and it’s pretty clear its a continuation of the 60’s Toronto research with Campbell. They can make people think you’re crazy and they can do that temporarily or permanently. Anyone they consider a threat.
You know I meet a woman who was given a lobotomy Her hsuband wanted it. He was one of those . She was completely compliant after . A Regular lMarlyn Monroe who never talked back and would do woutever the ma’s sexual desire was . A sweet lady. She told me like she was a child. Which was only a precursor to the children tool The story of O and the mentally impaired. Then the missing girls.
It’s Calle d a conspiracy theory but there’ s only censorship in the communist world and the world pre Magda Carta, pre French and American Revolution. It’s pre sexual revolutions. Ironically they don’t want their daughters to do what their wives do. They don’t want their sisters to do it either. The women know they can go missing It’sa terrible feeling. I sat in a cell knowing that I was totally at their mercy. They reveled in it. I thought but it was just technical . A tactic. I was in solitary. Totally isolated and if they wanted to damage my mind more they could. I was only to be scared.
She told me that when they took hammers to her feet so she’d never march in protest again that her friends were gang raped but her family was powerful enough the guards never rant a train on her. The poor girls. Yes. But not here. She was limping and told me she was going back in hopes of freeing her friends of a decade a go.
I understand your fear.
I don’t know if you can. But I am afraid and still am. I guess it’s also what turned me to God. This world is hel and purgatory and heaven all mixed together and only God can intervene to make a difference. Jesus and the apostles are in the jails and asylums today. Herod and his daughter are in the palace. The faces change but the stories are the same. I remember reading them as a child and they were just entertaining tales . Morality tales. History but I never realized they would happen today. The song were you there when they crucified my lord is the key. I was peter and Paul and now I’m searching for Mary. Nothing can be done for Jesus. When you realize he’s being taken by the San Hedran and judge by Rome it’s already in motion and you just get carried along. Maybe I carried the cross. Maybe I mocked nd made the cross. Maybe I was a theif alongside. I cry to think of it. That’s the revelation.
Now i just answer the call and pray I’m up for the challenge. And you know i hope your hear and see if you have eyes and ears. I just don’e wish the horror on you or anyone. Better to be surprised by joy.
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