Wee Hours

Don't know what dream  woke me
The clock face in darkness didn't lie
About the wee hours
I got out of bed
Lying awake makes sleep less likely
Sitting up, reading, walking about
Worrying about tiredness tomorrow
Thinking of you
Your warmth
And remembering
How much better
It was waking you
To make love in the wee hours
Knowing you indulged me
If only to get back to sleep
Quicker
Obviously a
Dream
Awoken by a beast.

Jesus Christ

I heard a person say they were tired of hearing the name of Jesus Christ.  I realized that were this person in a Buddhist country, they'd be tired of hearing the name Buddha; a Hindu nation, Krishna; or a Moslem nation; Mohammed.
Being a secular materialist atheist they didn't even recognize that even the Athenians of St. Paul's time celebrated the religion of atheism.  Their idol was the source of St. Paul's discourse, "To the Unknown God."  The Greeks being great cataloguers might well naturally catalogue atheism as the unknown god since the symbol zero had at this time not even been conceived of.  Aetheism and secular materialism to the enlightened is juvenile in it's arrogance.    The intolerant invariably fail to see their own exemptions.
As a Spiritual Person, I never tire of the name Jesus Christ, if only because I know the spiritual meaning of the words.   Jesus  means "God Within", and Christ, "God Will Come Again" , so Jesus Christ means 'God within, god will come again".  Spiritually speaking this mirrors the  Hindu mystics sanskrit chant, "I'm am the bubble, make me the sea."  
Dr. Carl Jung said that we all were part of the 'collective unconscious'.  The original meaning of 'shallow individuals' was that they knew only the 'surface" of things and never the 'depth' of the matter.  Present days physicists agree with those Jesus minded spiritualists, saying that matter is really 'frozen energy".  Einstein's equation E=MC2  indeed shows light and energy are much alike the digitally created hologram lacking only the  fourth dimension.
Dr. Carl Jung said "I know God exists. I don't have to believe." All atheists have been disturbed by the 'name' of God.  Ironically the term 'YHWH" was the name of God that the Hebrew priests said could not be spoken aloud.  It translated to "I am that is who I am" appearing as a burning bush, i.e. light.  The dark flees from the light and only the light can dispel the darkness.  In addiction the drunks, dry or wet, and the addicts, simply don't like the sober because sobriety is extremely contagious.
"We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension".states the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous of those who have 'recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of body and mind."  
In general relativity 'time" is the fourth dimension.  Three dimensional reality is what we perceive but time defines space-time.  In dreams we move out of the limitation of this godless world into a godlike state of awareness where ideas are manifest.  Personal ego is lost in the group awareness without a loss of sense of self.  In hypnosis and trance states we can experience the meditative awareness of connectedness lost to the godless, unenlightened or anxious. Anxiety is a measure of ones' distance from God and also relates directly to 'denial of death'.  Existentialist reality addresses the central angst of existence and yet connected to God or a higher power the experience of powerlessness of separateness is lost.
Jesus - "god within' speaks to this experience of companionship as opposed to alienation and isolation.
Christ - 'god will come again' speaks to the sense of 'being lost and I was found' of the parable of the Prodigal son epitomized in the poem of the footprints in the sand. Where there was only one pair of footprints it was God's carrying us.  The terrified ego will not let go of the idea that the earth is the centre of the universe rather than orbiting around a sun in a galaxy of a countless number of suns. All metaphors speak to the reality that alcohol and drugs and countless other addictions and distractions that individuals turn to rather than the 'self' or 'oversell'.  Ego in these terms is the 'construct' or 'false self' whereas the true self is connected with I am ness. Hope, Love and positivity are the state of recovery, as opposed to the hopelessness, lovelessness and negativity of the self pitying resentful fearful individual
Jesus Christ is, in this sense the Cosmic Christ, but also the 'historic Jesus' described and taught in the Holy Bible.  The language of the Bible, even more historic than Shakespeare appeals to Christian followers much like Shakespearian English appeals to scholars.  So much is lost in translation to the 'insider' but 'outsiders' find it easier to learn from modern day translations. Christianity permeates all the Western ideas, philosophies, laws, courts, democracy, women's freedom, politics, literatures and tales.   It is the very basis of morality and the essence of 'fairness' central to even the games of childhood.
The idea of God expressed through a suffering man dying to be God is even seen in the realm of mythology as central to the world as we know it.  Inside/outside/up/down, the winning of the underdog,  and all manner of dimensional connectedness is somewhat different from even neo platonism.  The aetheist Sartre believed in the Master Race and couldn't understand the idea of the phoenix rising in the suffering god or indeed a Jesus king who washed the feet of his disciples. The very idea of this manner of democracy surpasses the noble lordly democracy of ancient Greece.   The Magna Carta could only have been written by Christians. It would be inconceivable to a Confuscian
Over the centuries various conceptualizations have been forwarded about heaven which is of course here and now as understood in even todays ideas of the multiverse.  Time in this sense is the I am of Godliness and the psalm teaching, "Be still and know that I am God".  It is the stillness not the business of life that is central so that in Christian terms, the mary not the martha, is right.
But of course, Jesus Christ is like kryptonite to the Superman.  Just like sobriety frightens the drunk.  Freud saw humour as covert aggression but modern day theorists disagree and only see humour that separates as such.  Humor that joins is Godly for in communion we become truly human and truly human we become the spiritual beings beyond the pseudoscience of modern atheist scientism.  The greatest scientist of our life times Newton and Einstein knew God as Dr. Jung knew God.  Knowing God to the Christian is knowing Jesus Christ.  God within and the reassurance that God will come again.  In the three dimensional world this is messianic but not in the spiritual sense of the individual life. Individualism is modern, for only today in the robot age of things. can one consider themselves truly separate.  Descartes had to sit in his oven to think in an age of relations, found still today in modern tribal natives who say 'all my relations' much as a medieval European would have spoken.  Addiction is the disease of idolatry in which C.S. Lewis, the great Christian theologian saw man looking to the wall of the building for the architect.
Dr. Carl Jung laughed and said that the addict was seeking the Holy Spirit but got caught by the word 'spirits' which resulted in the wrong thinking disease which he summarized with his classic latin phrase "Spiritus contra Spiritum"
"His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language, the union with God."  Carl Jung.
Jesus Christ
Personally I love the name of God.  The Zen master shouted "hay" to awaken the student from the Lethe of sleep.  To the Christian this world is a shadow of the real world, heaven.  To the lover, you are in heaven, when you can love hell because Jesus taught 'love your enemy' for even animals loved their own.  Narcissism is love of face or shallow love of vanity.  Love is the stuff of creation.  Agape not just eros and by no means the sentimental love of the vulgar.
Jesus Christ was mocked by the soldiers before the crucifixion as they argued over the things he wore and crowned him with thorns.  How modern to love things more than people. How unspiritual to grab the golden egg and kill the golden egg laying goose.

Jesus Christ

Surrey International Writers Conference

I almost dare not blog about this penultimate event. No doubt massively published writers the world over have penned their experience.
I didn't attend the workshops.  Had I, I'd be a much better writer, no doubt.  I heard one American  leader was teaching how to get 'advances' when 'advances' bring 'sexual harassment' to mind  rather than anything monetary a writer might truly hope for. .  It was indeed a point of humour that one could be a respectable writer in Canada and not earn a living.  Writing has never been as lucrative, here as, say, dog sledding.  There are notable exceptions. But these have more likely gone abroad (or south).Theres  something vaguely suspect, almost un Canadian, about a writer that actually leaves the igloo.
I enjoyed the exhibits.  There were books and publishing companies and printers and paraphernalia.  I actually purchased an Anne Perry bag.  The Indigo bags lacked the  substance  hers had.   I also purchased Jack Whyte's latest book, The Renegade.  He actually sat at the table I'd randomly chosen at lunch.  I told him I'd just read one of his books last year and couldn't remember the name. It turned out to be The Forest Laird, a story of Scotland's Wallace, the precursor to the Renegade about Bruce. I'd also read his Knights Templar series.
So there I was at lunch with a lovely writer from the island and her two friends only to be joined by Jack Whyte. To make this table even more blessed, the great KC Dyer joined us.  I knew her from her dramatic informative presentation one evening at the Canadian Authors Association. One of Canada's foremost young people writers,  her latest book is Seeds of Time.
With these two great writers conversing across from me ,I focussed on the excellent Sheraton fare,  eavesdropping as if I was President  Obama  listening in on the conversations of  Germany's Chancellor and some other world leader.  Jack Whyte not only writes his marvellous historical fiction but sings as well, I learned.
It's actually surprising I heard anything because, when I arrived that morning, I'd found my own book, "Love Between the Sacred and Profane", sitting like the jewel it is on the crown table of  Island Blue printers.  Ben Nuttall-Smith, the President of the BC Federation of Writers had inspired me to put out another poetry book guiding me through the process.
My first poetry book, Caesarian Poems, had been more of a book for friends and family.  Influenced by poets Bernice Lever, Jean Kay and Lilija Valis of the Canadian Authors Association I wanted this book to be something for a broader audience.
Ben is a prolific writer whose published his books in a variety of ways as well as maintaining one of my favourite web pages.  His historical fiction, Blood, Feathers and Holy Men was a fascinating read.   Thanks to him and my assistant Hannah Pagarigan, my book happened. Now a collection of short stories is due for publication in spring.
Ben said it would be kind of like seeing a new born child.  It was. I confess I was mesmerized.  What a source of pride. My chest, not knowing cliche, actually burst (not quite like Sigourney Weaver and Alien, but kind of).  I picked the book up lovingly, from the table and declared aloud, to no one in particular,  this was "my" book.  I danced a jig in my inner world while outwardly maintaining  composure, (except for the silly grin).  
Well, that's why it's quite amazing I heard anyone else thereafter.  I  was surprised I was able to pay  polite attention to those around me. They couldn't possibly know the cost . I did notice though that our table wasn't the only table with published arthurs.  Anthony Dalton , the President of the Canadian Author's Association's table was a sardine can of authors.  As I looked about I saw one famous writer after another lurking here and there.  Some were stuffing the tasty Sheraton cookies into their jackets or skirt pockets, leftover habits from leaner years.  I learned that my Ed Griffin was a cofounder of the Surrey Writer's Festival. Just as I love Anthony's travel adventure writing I love Ed Griffins prison stories.
The workshop and key notes speakers were a list of whose who in writing.  KC Dyer was wearing a Michael Slade pin from his workshop.  I had the Anne Perry's bag.  My neighbour had Diana Gabaldon's latest book.
Bruce Hale was the luncheon speaker.  I loved his talk. Not surprising he's a children's writer. He had a joyful presence that so appeals to children.  He told how his first Chet Gecko book had followed a series of rejection letters. He learned to qualify rejection letters from never touched by human hand to a not so rejecting rejection letter.  His principle encouragement was perseverance. He encouraged writers to connect as well.  He began with an exercise of having each person contact another who they'd call in a week to report their writing progress. He humorously told of his own 'accountability' partner and how much he wrote the night before the call was due.  At the end he sang an uptempo delightful inspiring song about persevering when publishers don't respond.  It had everyone laughing and singing along.  A WAVE formed in the audience  and several participants held up lit lighters.  It was a great way to end a conference with everyone enthusiastic and motivated.
I talked to Carol Tulpar later.  She'd loved the conference which was helping her progress with her present book.
I'm now sitting here with boxes of my own books.     Now the book launch. Thank you all those organizers of the SIWC (siwc.com).  It was a great day of a conference. Next year I must attend the whole workshop.  

 

Halloween on Davie Street

I love Davie Street at Halloween. It's always carnival.  Not just a night but a season.  Everyone seems to get in the spirit and dress up. Costumes galore.
Certainly every man who ever wanted to wear a dress was doing Benny Hill's Lads in Frocks. Eddie Izzard would have been lost in the crowd.
The Smurfs were sensational. A lot of beautiful girls had maintained their genetic advantage by wearing form revealing skeleton leotards.  I wondered if Leonard Cohen hadn't met such young women when he wrote his classic, "As I lay dead in my love soaked bed......".
I simply donned a blond wig, glasses and hat and with some lipstick became my favourite old fat church lady self, with a funky purse, mind you.  It was 10 pm when I drove to Davie for coffee. Other years I've come for late night dinner getting a window seat in one of the many many excellent restaurants.  A dozen parties were advertised but with Gilbert not invited I wasn't much for late night activities.  11 pm as it was is  my normal bed time these years.  Still it's a tradition. Other years I've taken in the Rocky Horror Picture Show bringing along a roll of toilet paper at very least.  Tonight though, I was proud of myself for making the  drive across town.  It never ceases to amaze me how many late night people live in Vancouver. It's become like New York in that way.  
I regretted not bringing my other camera when I saw photographers out enjoying the medley of creative genius.  One young woman's face was unforgettable with the most amazing zombie painting over her chin and lips leaving her beautiful laughing eyes unscathed.  A couple of women, there were a lot of older people to my surprise out in costume like me, were dressed in Napoleon soldier costumes. Very period.  I love the 'period' dress. Some with hoop skirts Great bodices.  Lots of ghosts.  Its a wonder what you can do with a sheet.  Some very impressive pointy hatted witches carrying wicked brooms. There was every  variety of animal and one amazing Sasquatch.  A 'flasher' with the the biggest store-bought  dildo ever sold, flashed me and everyone else on the street.   Several fairytale figures. Lil Bo Peep.  Not so many disney characters.  But cartoon figures and an authentic Spiderman for sure.  A group of Chinese people lead by an emperor, a dozen in all, a wide variety of costumes did a parade up one side of the street and down the other.  A bear was incongruously in their midst.  What was prettiest was a group of young women who'd all dressed together as red and green bubble wearing somethings.  They looked a bit like very perky cheerleaders except for these bright coloured bubbles all over their torsos.
Line ups everywhere. After having a coffee and walking about the hood I returned to my little dog and had a late night movie with pastry from East Vancouver Bakery.  Someone was shooting off fireworks. It's Vancouver so someone is always lighting up the sky.

Normative Sociology and War

All the norms of our social life are derived directly from Christianity.  The Christian social life was derived in turn from the Hebrew.  The Abraham social tradition gave rise to Judaism, Christianity and Islamic traditions.  All of these were essentially Patriarchal with heavy emphasis on family and child rearing because all these traditions grew in the times of farming and war where a large workforce was necessary either to make food or armies.
Jared Diamond eloquently describes the importance of food stuffs to the growth and success of armies.  The Abrahamic tradition began in Polygammy which persisted into Judaism and Moslem culture but was lost in Christianity.  Male dominated Monogamy or male dominated Polygammy were therefore the norms of family with women's role predominantly as bearer of children, educator, manager of home and farms, and adviser.
War has been the principle industry of all empires and nations.  The greatest trade commodity has always been advanced weapons technology.  Leonardo da Vinci, known today for his art, was known best in his day and paid greatest for his advances in castle defence.  Today rocket guidance system and stealth technology are simply stated major 'trade secrets'.  Trade has secondarily been of significant importance to nations.
Canada's genetic modification of wheat, shorter growing life, greater abundance, resulted in the ability of the world to feed itself and gave rise to Canada being called  "the breadbasket of the world." Today modern scientific farming methods and food production has achieved the means to feed one and half times the present and future populations, but the distribution of food remains limitted  by the "art of politics".  Starvation has long been a 'seige' technique of war fare.  Food is a commodity of war. The world as a whole has never known peace as much as the 'winners' celebrate it's sweet relief.  
Even fashion has been deeply influenced by war, with the present day men's suit a slight variation on the 19th century British officer suit.  Futurist writer, William Gibson, has written of the importance financially of competing camouflage fabrics when one considers the millions in uniform, especially in China and Korea.  It stands without reasoning that Armani would as soon have that contract as one on Wall Street.
The family was a rudimentary vestige from earliest hunting and gathering societies with the importance of 'blood' and 'kinship' lines establishing relational loyalties which gave rise to the power of  banking families like the Rothschilds.  Even today the lineage of the royals, i considered as 'breeding', is celebrated.  Genetic modifications, eugenics and breeding are all 'purposeful'. To what end, is usually defined by the principle world pasttime of war and dominance.
Marx and Engels felt that the family had to be destroyed and the communist model, even tried as the Kibbutz in Israel, was to remove children from their parents at the earliest possible age to propagandize the children while keeping the mothers directly employed in the production of the state, ideally weapons and their support industries. Today in the West women are allowed out of the workplace at best 6 months and the children's education by the State is ensured by age of 3 but latest by 5.  Home education is commonly discouraged, financially for sure, and often legislatively.  In the east the family and role of mother is even less supported by the State, which is always some variation on a War Machine model.
The collective payment of physicians is directly linked to their contribution to the war effort, surgeons being first paid more than other tradesman when their successes restored fighting men to the trenches of Europe, doubling, tripling and sometimes quadrupling the available cannon fodder.  The fame of nurse, Florence Nightingale, came from her halving the post operative battlefield mortality rates by use of the modern techniques of Listers's cleanliness.
Psychiatrists only collectively saw their pay increase when it was recognized that they could reduce the 30% rate of 'war psychosis' and 'shell shock' that most afflicted the 'unpopular' Vietnam warriors.  These 'successes' once established then develop an industry that surrounds and conceals the very roots of the contribution. Todays counsellors and psychologists predominate just as when the first 'priest' painted blue of wearing god awful feather and bone clothing exhorted the troops to success was celebrated, whole religions of beaurocrats followed the success of this one 'holy man'.  Religion thrives today as does psychological services financially because of that first holy man and that first psychiatrist who made these subsequents fields of 'material consequence' with increasing high pay.  Transportation and roads and ultimates planes and space stations all had principle material value as they contributed to the 'war effort'.  None of these people were 'paid' for 'peace'. Peace is cheap by comparison to war but peaceful interludes between wars are the commodity of successful wars.  The Germans in the 30's didn't 'enjoy peace' and were happy to return to 'war' whereas the the Frence and British winners of WWI were highly impressed with the peace of the 30's This was a great old time especially in the US.  Victors love peace.  It's not hypocricy or rocket science. Peace is not nearly as appealing in the long run to the 'losers'.

Today robots and machines have reduced the need for large families because wars can essentially be fought with very few numbers.  Overpopulation and Article 21 of the United Nations are directly associated with the new 'dehumanized social model'.  The 'mother' eulogized, romanticized and celebrated for generations, for her capacity to produce large families, and as importantly educate and 'breed' good citizen children, is no longer as important to the secular materialist vision as her role as 'worker' and 'entertainment device'.
Humans are simply less important and the fewer the better given the advances available to war brought with bioweapons, nuclear devices and strategic or cloaking technologies.  The importance of GPS and satellite systems and space exploration was that it gave intelligence dominance in matters of war.  Todays facial recognition software from satellites can identify terrorist or warrior leaders individually, so long as they don't wear the 'dreaded hoodies'.
Constantine made Christianity the official religion because the Christian armies, based on Christian families, were the most powerful war machine, given their loyalty, and devotion to cause.  The Christian family won against the pagan family of Nazi Germany.  It had been a near thing between the Anglican English and Catholic French and Lutheran German in WWI but by WWII, Hitler had returned the Germany dream to the 'pagan' roots in which polytheism, polygammy were intrinsic.  Not surprisingly 'polytheism' has been 'divisive'.
The atheist communist experiment of Russia and it's copy cats, finally leading to China, returned to the polygamous leadership model.  Communist patriarchy had, like traditional kings, multiple wives and mistresses.  Ghengis Khan before all other male leaders' 'bedded so many women, especially of conquered nations that 1% of all human genes can be traced directly to him.  The communists with little moral restraint have maintained their pleasure dachas and bedded women with all the gusto that secular materialist corporation leaders have in the west.  Indeed in all secular atheist or atheist communist social arrangements the woman is no longer valued most as 'mother' but rather as 'comfort companion' or frankly 'sexual object' and 'entertainment device.' Despite the popularity of Clinton his amorous dalliances as acceptable to Hillary as they were for the power of their combined success, were ultimately unacceptable still to the Monotheistic Monogamous "norm' of the Western model.
The communist attitude towards women in general has been seen primarily in their abortion of the feminist gene in China with only male children being saved from the scalpel. This has created the single male armies of the east available to conquer the west with the promise of available 'sexual entertainment devices. '  In China white woman pornography is the most popular.  Islam offers 'virgins' in heaven to their jihadists.  The Chinese communists soldiers aren't looking for virgins in the west.
Meanwhile in Canada, a mixed communist, democratic country the destruction of the family continues with the rise of polygamy covertly.  Women's primary role is no longer mother hood.  Feminism has been primarily 'imitation of men' with all that was historically 'female' debased. Indeed feminists call 'mother's , 'breeders' and the 'worker' is the model.  Women who have children are no longer given status as 'fully employed' as 'mothers' previously were, they must quickly return to the ranks of workers, work production being ultimately aimed at creating better competitive war machines. The most successful women in banking, design, leadership are indeed those who contribute most to the production and sale of weapons.  The greatest women leaders of the west took their countries to war, Thatcher, Ghandi etc.  Some feminists today even encourage their membership to get pregnant and abort to know the 'power of women'.  Woman as 'creator' is thereby subsumed by woman the 'destroyer'.  Seeing these modern dynamics one can't help but appreciate the ancient religions of old countries like India where the gods are creator, maintainer and destroyer and the female goddess Khalli has far more traits than the goddess Athena.
Hillary Clinton the foremost feminist leader, defined herself by her 'pant suits".  Indeed all women in western worlds are 'transvestic' in their dress with male dominance in fashion persisting as traditional military based garb, suits, cargo pants, etc.

The importance of homosexuals to the Christian war effort in WWII was noted with Turing and others.  The SS were  based on homosexual male bonding 'hyper testosterone' Greek warrior Spartan prototypes in contrast.  While  'police elite ' loyalty was achieved through that model , well documented in "Pink Swatika" it's effectiveness generally was highly limited.
The modern Christian world by contrast "delisted' homosexuality given it's contribution to the war effort.  EvenLawrence was thought bisexual at best with a penchant for self flogging.  As long as homosexuality didn't interfere with the production of 'cannon fodder' it was acceptable. Indeed lesbianism, a popular sideline of polygamous societies where the concubines had children but were denied men, like male prisoners, turned to each other for entertainment.  Lesbianism today is commonly acceptable as it doesn't interfere in the war machine which has dominated society for countless thousands of years.

There have never not been a 'war machine' though enclaves of society 'outside' of the mainstream, like monks of Nepal and the Christian monks of Meteora have been able to avoid through isolation participation in the principle human beaurocratic activity.

The question then today is whether the present day rise in secular materialist social constructs, none of which are related in any way to the priority of child production can compete with the traditional family based social models.  Today the principal atheist materialist societies of communism have failed to show the creativity of the Christian, Judaic or Moslem or  Hindu, Buddhist societies.  Buddhists continue to fight Buddhists with modern weapons over the ownership of different temples. The Indian Society, based on Polytheism Monogamous families succeeded in winning their war against the aetheistic polygamous communist society of China.  Chinese monogamy continues, not as a product of the ideology of communism, but rather as an as yet persisting 'cancer' of old society.
Dessert Storms Arms Bazaar showed the superiority of weapons built predominantly by American and European Christians and Jews.  The Moslems during the Crusades had indeed brought us arithmetic ballistics and the religious Chinese of their day developed gunpowder.  Issaac Newton, Einstein, were great theists.  Secular atheist "promissory"  materialism is indeed a recent 'hothouse plant' with great promises but no shelf life or demonstrated success.  Its ability to kill enemies 'externally' has been poor at best and their greatest killing success has always been the destruction of their own people and through 'betrayal'.  The ideas continue to proliferate with the hundreds of millions of their own people killed by atheists in their own countries.   No wonder, Christian evangelicals say, Satan, the greatest aetheist of all, was always a murderer and liar.  Commonly 'language' obscures the facts of war and competition, neurological theorists arguing that man's big brain developed solely for duplicity, his principal means of success in cave man days against the much for effective predator big cat.

But the fetal alcoholism in Russia and infant mortality in the USSR was directly associated with its failure as a competitive 'social norm' to the 'norms' offered by the theist societies to date. The division of the USSR hasn't been to some advanced 'aetheist' 'norms' but rather a rejection of 'aetheist polygammy' and a return to variations of 'theistic monogamy'.  Poland embraces the Catholic Monotheism and Monogamy and eastern formerly moslem parts of the old USSR are opting instead for Monotheistic Monogamous norms.  Aetheistic polygammous 'norms' fail competitively for the majority of people despite an appeal to the elite.  Queens and Kings have succeeded through the ages by overt monogamy and covert polygammy and at least paying lip service to the success of monotheism.  Kennedy might well have been more of a swordsman than Clinton but Kennedy's overt Catholicism and the discretion of the pre feminist females protected him. It helped that he was a war hero.

My own Celtic Christian Pagan forebears couldn't compete as a social empire, despite individual superiority and tribal superiority, to the English Christian Empire social model based more directly on biblical patriarchal monogamy. My Celtic forebears, the scots and Irish, were much less disciplined sexually and more prone to overt polygamy and homosexuality. The Celts celebrated women far more than the English and admired our mothers nearly as greatly as the Mexicans but our social structure couldn't compete with the Christian Roman Model that effectly created the present day empires.  All the empires previously built had not been able to manage the numbers or space or maintain the success that this monotheist monogamous model of social 'norm' to date has.

That said, Christianity in Canada is now only 70%. This is similar to other Western nations where a decline in monotheism has occurred.  Jews at most are 1 % of Western societies, mostly secular aetheist despite their ethnicity whereas Israel with it's military success to date has been dominated by zionists and monetheistic monogamous Hebrew of the Old Testament tradtions.  Monotheistic Polygammous Islamists are on the rise throughout the west .Secular atheists, especially communists, despite their lack of any sustained success and high suicidal and murderous rates persist. The Aztec were a similar religious killing machine but failed before the Christian Monotheistic Monogamous 'norm'.

I don't know who will win the next war.

Frankly.  I have little doubt that the Christian Monotheistic Monogamous normative model of the British WWII winners (technologicaly and on the battlefield) could win as has the Christian Monotheistic Monogamous normative model of America to date won against all other competing models.  The only real question is whether an 'attenuated strain' of this norm as is arising in Canada, Europe and the US can compete agains,t say the Islamic Monoteistic Polygamous norm.  In the Crusades the Christians beat the Moslems on all battlefields essentially but not by so great a margin.  The Chinese Korean atheist polygamous communist models have grown strong by incorporating the strengths of the Christian Monotheist Monogamous norms reintroducing 'god' as has Russia to the failed 'atheist' paradigm.  Russia's recent anti homosexuality stance has been seen to be a means of making itself attractive to the Muslims, Orthodox, and Catholics which have to date prevailed over the atheist communist model. Putin in this regard is seen as no different a 'general' than Constantine was who 'converted' when it was obvious that Christian military was greater than all other militaries of his day.  Aetheist militaries have to date failed against theist models and just as armies re tooled from horses calvary to tanks the communists the world over are 're thinking' God while the 'fat' west continues to 'play' with the very 'sexy idea' of aetheism especially given the aetheist model of woman as 'sexual entertainment device' or 'worker'.  
 In contrast the prevailing successful Monotheistic Monogamous West has introduced the very components of the failing competing normative model of communism, i.e. the denigration of the feminine, especially of the mother, destruction of religion, woman as 'entertainment device' , unisex, all normative of communism when it failed in all competitions to date with the west.
Given that the West is rejecting God as the East embraces it and Islam grows stronger by its adherence the question of which 'norm' will succeed in the next war remains to be seen.

In the West, the successor of war, the existing empire of war, the idea of war is furthest from the mind of the  slick and safe ideologically effete intellectual city light weights.  Their likes were well known to the Chamberlains of England and the Roman "thinkers' as the 'barbarians' were invading Rome.    To the rest of the world, those outside the winning zones of Europe and American,  war and revolution are the foremost thought. Losers want desperately what they perceive the winners have.  Revolutionaries by nature are theives and not creators.  Age old tribalisms have prevailed to today.  Mohommed's Koran is as much a warrior code as the Old Testament of the Bible or Mao Tse Tung's writings.  Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Empiror, wrote the pagan stoic model of his day,  but it was St. Paul who drafted the 'norm' for society that gave us the last 2000 years of successful Christian empire and relative 'peace'.   As the west devolves, the Roman empire too died from within, with the result that  the real competition might well be between the Monotheist Monogamous "Norm" of Islam versus the western modified Aetheist Polygammous "norm' of the Eastern Communism
.
I simply don't know.

The greatest european 'peace' movement of the young occurred in the 1930's when nudism also was terrifically popular.  Here in Canada we are having a marvellous love affair with marijuana and a delusional adolescence of denial.  The world Big Daddy America is criticized for not allowing us to smoke up and drop out.  We forget that the Empire of China fought the west to free it's people from Opium in the famous opium wars.  We succeeded in fighting the Indians (natives) of North American by giving them booze and attacking them when they were hung over because their 'society' had not been able to 'control' or 'prohibit' alcohol.  The British Navy had long held 'alcohol prohibition' and control successfully to achieve it's goal of being the greatest war machine the world had ever known.

Personally I prefer nudism but know that the best money in the fashion industry is on cammo designs, epaulets and boots. Jewelry was originally a 'worldly crown' of 'conquest' or the 'conspicuous consumption of Veblem.  The best bling of all has been those given for 'heroism'.  While it was normative for men to let their girlfriends wear their 'football jackets', I don't think anytime soon we'll see women letting their boyfriends wear their 'purple hearts' gained in combat, even if they were shot and wounded by robot drones.

The "norms' have a way of being 'normal' because they 'worked'. The 'test' has always been 'war'.

Waking Friday Morning

I woke at 7 and didn't get out of bed till 7 30.  I was enjoying my dreams.  I love when I dream and the world I'm dreaming of seems that parallel universe.  Friends now dead in this time line visit me there and there's a sense of belonging in some of the scenes.  It's like all the divisiveness, especially ideological, aren't there in that dream world.  I was sitting and talking with an old friend and others were moving about.  One of my favourite dreams is being a young kid with all the elder ladies, mostly church ladies. My aunt and mom are in the group and I'm welcome.
Then there are the dogs and cats. Old friends that come by in the dream and hang out a while. Shinto, Moon, Calico, Sunny. I've had visits with dogs especially from throughout my life. I miss the geese though. I'd like to visit with the geese again. Last night there was a horse in the dream. I think I was feeding it sugar. I don't remember ring but I rode a lot when I was younger. Grandad was a rancher.  It wasn't dressage or anything fancy. Just riding a horse like a bicycle because we were kids and horses were friends and great transportation.  
Gilbert jumped into bed with me. That's why I got up at 7:30.  Squirming hairy tongue licking body all over my chest and face.  Well, okay, it's time to get up. The first reward is always bladder relief.   I pray and meditate.  I want to be closer to the Creator. I want to know God and be a companion of Jesus.  I enjoyed discussing with a friend the way the Trinity relates.  Bernie loved the Holy Spirit. I've had my Holy Spirit times though mostly the Lord is the Lord and frankly I anthropomorphize God a bit like my father.  Aloof, loving, caring, present, not too talkative. An engineer creator but someone who can always fix things, worried about me.  So the Lord is a bit like Dad and all the other collection of elders in my life, Prime Ministers, Professors,  Teachers, Church Leaders.  I've been blessed by hundreds of fine older men in my life.  Even now I can think of Ron, Phillip, Willie, Arch, John, George.  Some of those I know are only a few years older than me but they're wiser. They've gone before me. They've survived. They've set an example.  And in those I know I really am blessed because they are the kinds of people I'd like to be. They're closer to God in ways and I'd take them as Lord. I'd give my allegiance to them. I'd follow them in battle and certainly I'd come to their rescue or the rescue of their families in a pinch.
It think that's the Tribal Scottish thing. We're loosely knit but ferociously loyal. Put a dastardly Englishman in our midst and even the Campbells and MacDonalds might stop mealy mouthing each other.  That's the way of tribal groups and I think of my friends in basic tribal terms.
I think of the Holy Spirit as more maternal.  As for Jesus, the closest idea I have of him is my childhood friends Garth and Kirk and my brother when we were still kids.  Older I think of colleagues. I'm at best one of the apostles and I think of the guys I love working with in clinics, those fine doctors I've shared offices with over the years. One is in Houston now.  So many are in Winnipeg and Toronto.  I still have so many fond memories of the doctors I knew on the island and the north.  Here in the city I have this loose relationship with a collection of family physicians and specialists and that's the apostle type thing. But Jesus is special. He's a Best Friend Forever relationship and I look to him as companion.  So when I pray and meditate I feel and listen for the relationship.
Then it's blessed coffee.  I had peanut butter sandwiches today too.  Then it was the mail.  Countless emails. Some spam.  Groups I belong too and wish I had more time to participate in more but I simply don't .  I want to study Hebrew simply to learn the meaning of biblical words that intrigue me and I  don't have the time for that. There's a dozen books and a dozen movies on my table.  Writing festivals are going on. I've a book of poetry to get too.  I've a book of short stories thats now collected but just needs editing. The great Canadian novel needs writing. I've not shot a deer for the winter freezer yet. I've got fishing to do. My little boat is so wanting to be ridden on the waves. There's the motorcycle that longs for a final ride  before winter storage.  I've a weekend ahead of me and I'd liked to take that train ride to Seattle just for the fun of it but there's chores to do.  I fixed a couple of the lights in the boat but before winter there's a myriad of maintenance tasks I have to do before I could leave it for the RV experience.  Heat is still a problem here because a neighbour is using what I think is my 30 amp socket leaving me only 15 amps.  The electric heater doesn't quite do it. I feel like I did in England when I had to pay the meter for heat and didn't have much money or had to decide whether to be warm or go to a play.  I have a propane heater that I can turn on and the diesel heater certainly gives a whollop of heat. I've a 5 gallon jerry can of diesel on the truck and another in the boat. I could go fill up but I'm leaking oil and it's a hassle in the fog.

That's how the mind goes.  But I've a day of work to do.  I've a ticket to the theatre too and shopping that needs doing.  Gilbert already got me to throw the tennis ball a half dozen times.  Now is napping again.  I like my work mostly. The paperwork is making healing and saving lives less appealing.  All those folk who want to criticize and look over your shoulder and tell everyone else how to do things  but can't do diddly squat themselves, well, I'm getting old and realize that after 30 years of doing my best work for the least pay without any of the promised resources these self righteous arrogant interfering bullying sorts aren't really part of the solution and yet they lack any shame.  I find myself more and more looking at places outside of Canada to work simply because of the soul sucking strangling beaurocracies.
Another group of professional 'activists' held up hastings yesterday.  I don't know what their cause was .  There seems to be the same group every week or two. I look at the CBC and see this group of people being filmed and the 'cause' they represent being bolstered by a photographer doing his best to make the numbers look more than they are.  There's a permanent nest of them on the Art Gallery steps.  Reminds me that England's democracy required "Speaker's Corner" where all these sorts could get their 'say' without their having to do the hard work of democracy.   I heard Russell Brand yesterday going on about revolution and thought yes, there's a rift between the rich and the poor but an article that bemoaned this fact overlooked the truth that never before in the history of the world have there been so many people and so many people living so well despite the rich who have always been with us.
Now I've got to rush and shower and get to work .  I seem to be always 'late' , rushing from one task or activity to another.  All the research on the cases I'm seeing, the evening meetings, yesterdays talks of new innovations in my work.  Last night the emergencies and now it's a final day in the week and the weekend.
Just another waking friday morning with so many behind me and so many more to come.  Thank you Jesus.

Today is the first and last day of my life

Brother Lawrence taught "practicing the presence of God'.  A Chilliwack military man told me 16 years ago when I stopped drinking and shared at men's meeting, "Bill, you've got one foot in the future and one foot in the past. You're pissing and shitting on your day. Get your head in the same room as your ass is."
I heard a spiritual speaker from the Hazelton Treatment Center, a clergy man, say that "we notice when people begin their recovery they are 80 % in the past and future, only about 20% in the present.  After a while they are 60% in the present with 20% in the past and future."
Today I've showered, dressed and driven to work.  I made the mistake of listening to CBC Currents instead of inspirational music.  I arrived at work thinking about ancient history in Canada, the scandals and negativity and fear mongering of Currents and forgot to see that this is a beautiful October morning.  The colours are magnificent.
I'm alive and well with a great dog and living in the greatest country in the world. I'll begin my day over again and hopefully do my best in my work today remember, Just for Today and that Today is all I really know I have. This moment I am with God. The present is called the present because it is a gift.

CBC - Cancer Broadcasting Company

Last year while Canadian soldiers fought and died in Kundahar, CBC ran a month long anti government campaign trying to convince us that Canadian soldiers were wrong to hand over their prisoners to the local authorities even though this was the 'law' of engagement and NATO.  While this "news' was taking place, so that driving to work prime time or returning from work prime time I got to hear the likes of Anna Marie Tremonte go out of their way to create a 'scandal' in hope of blemishing the government.
I remember when the same was done to Paul Martin.  Both Paul Martin, a liberal Prime Minister, and Steven Harper, a conservative Prime Minister, were fiscally responsible and concerned about jobs and the economy.
Now we've heard day in day out about a 'scandal' of Senate's inappropriate spending when this is de rigour for Bureaucrats and Government the world over. It's called 'perks' and thankfully we're addressing the sordid likes of Duffy who is like other senators embarrassing to the government and their constituents.  But it's not the real 'news'.
The real news is the European Trade Agreement.  This is likely to be the most important economic achievement of the decade and CBC, in it's continued anti government, anti free trade, anti economy, anti jobs for Canadians, privileged, entitled skullduggery gives it a foot note.
CBC has a billion dollar tax payer paid budget.  It has unfair advantage over alternative media.  It's programs are some of the finest and for the sake of the programs, like Vinyl Cafe, Tapestry, Spark, the Debaters, Vinyl Tap, White Coat/Black Art I want to forgive the petty stupid propaganda of it's daily news. The Current is sickening regularly.  I heard a story and look it up only to find it's been given this communist spin or some sentimental twist that simply doesn't match the facts.
Then when things really big happen, like the biggest news of the year, a Euro Canadian trade agreement, it's pushed aside because it would only show that in contrast to the wasteful CBC the government is thinking about Canadians out of work and wanting to ensure a future economic well being.
Listening to the arrogance of CBC news I'd believe that Canada's foremost leaders and ministers aren't the extraordinary men and women they are. I write to these leaders and ask about matters of state and find out that in contrast to what CBC says the government is doing it's job.  The debates in parliament and the bureaucrats that supply the ministers are highly intelligent, impressively informed individuals.
CBC news is hurting Canada and if the only way to save the country from ignorance is to slash the CBC budget then that's a must do.  I'd rather keep the pearls and get rid of the pig shit programming of news.  BBC seems to be able to report stories without the obsessive propagandistic communist jingoism day after day as if the journalists really think they're some kind of Woodwards on every matter.
Canada is one of the greatest countries in the world.  We have all manner of strengths.  When our soldiers are fighting overseas Canadians like me want to hear the news not reporter ignorance.  I was in Italy and the news there reported the location and movement of the troops serving in NATO. The country had a moment of silence for the start of their campaign.  A couple of weeks in the US I heard 'both sides' of the discussion on the news, not a cleverly disguised and sold one sided propaganda pitch masquerading as 'balanced ' reporting.
CBC News needs to grow up. it's fat on daddy tax payer support and continues to bite the hand the feeds.  Our governments are democratically elected. It's not the job of the national government funded media to 'pull down' the government whether it's under fiscally responsible, mature Paul Martin or economically wise and responsible Steven Harper.
I don't want my tax payer money going to CBC news.  i love the CBC programs but when I drive to work and return from work, in the prime time listening, I'm thoroughly tired of hearing anti government propaganda.  Even Mulcair is portrayed by CBC poorly.  The only favourite they seem to have is Troudeau and frankly, I fear, they don't like him for his merits but only because they're smoking up.  It sure sounds like the Currents is stuck in bell bottom pants with daddy issues.  CBC news hates the majority of Canadians, that's for sure, and we pay for this perversion of reporting.
Grow up CBC news.  Or  get out and make your own money. I'm tired of supporting such biased stupidity with my hard earned money.  I'm tired of hearing Canadians insulted.

Fog

It's been pea soup fog here in Vancouver the last couple of days. I liked the wet air myself. My boat is at dock. The fog horn is sounding in Coal Harbour.  I certainly remember sailing in fog, the anxiety and other worldliness on those occasions.
It was after a winter sail when returning English Bay was blanketted in fog, that I decided a radar was necessary on the west coast. We'd had to wait till a fishing boat with radar came near.  We'd heard their bell. I was sounding off my hand held foghorn.  My partner was on the front of the deck as look out. 
This fishing boat entered False Creek like the Pied Piper with 3 or 4 sailboats tailing behind.  That was scarey indeed. 
After that I had the radar but even with the radar it was only last year that I almost ran aground in fog in English Bay. There I was watching the radar and depth sound totally disoriented only to have to stop because my depth sounder showed me coming on land I couldn't see. I had to turn off the engine to listen to get my bearings.  I had GPS, radar and depth sounder but still couldn't see out of my cockpit.  It was humbling to find myself facing the opposite direction from what I thought heading into shore. Without instruments I'd have run aground.  No wonder 'instrument flying' is it's own special license. 
In  France I first encountered road fog so bad we had to crawl along on our bicycles fearful of traffic. The Citroen's had yellow fog lights and these were the only cars easily seen.  Our bicycle lights just blurred into the obscurity ahead.
Here the fog's been so bad that there's been several accidents, one fatal, with rush hour traffic jams and sky train slow downs.  Just a little weather confusion and a whole city is humbled.  For all our superiority as a human race fog over rules the rat race. 
Walking along with Gilbert, at human and dog pace,  I can appreciate the surreal beauty of my surroundings shrouded  in fog.
Fog humbles and clarifies. Slow down. Pay attention.  Humility and beauty go hand in hand.

Grouse

I was supposed to be deer hunting.  I was up before dawn.  We stopped at the A&W for sausage eggers and coffee. The second day out I'd even bought a new thermos so we'd have more coffee. Gilbert, the dog, didn't particularly like the sausage.  It was peppery.  We liked it. He frowned but eventually ate it.  We drove the Old Hedley Road.  Lots of deer in the farmer's fields. None a buck.  It's only buck season.  I could have shot an antler less white tail but white tails are more easterly.  Around Princeton it's mostly Mule Deer.  I'd shot big mule deer there before.  I was certainly hoping to shoot another this weekend.
We were talking though.  Mostly about Jesus and Communism.  The world thought the Cold War ended the era of spies but today old KGB and Chinese Communist spies, government and industrial, popped up everywhere.
Communism is Atheism operationalized.  Just as Canada was Christianity and Catholicism operationalized.  Isreal today is Judaism operationalized. Russian and China are Atheism operationalized.  Put simply the religion of atheism is communism. That's it's manifestation just like Saudi is the manifestation of Islam.
Jesus wouldn't much like being Communist.  But Putin seemed to be returning to Old Russia and making allegiance with the Orthodox Church by sacrificing the gays.  Weird times.  Even weirder times for China where capitalism, confucianism, communism and abortionism go hand in hand.
"Feminism is cultural communism."  he said.
"It's not Marxism. Marx was a slouch. Scottish socialism and the union movement proved him wrong,utterly wrong before the turn of the century.  Marxist was binary and the Scots were trinitarian.  Three dimensional chess trumps 2 dimensional chess every time. Lenin just needed him to create his little gang, which would 'dictate to the proletariat', to give his totalitarian dictatorship some substance.  Engels and Marx wanted to destroy all that was Christian. They hated the family.  Marx got his cleaning lady pregnant then dumped her.  Without the London School of Economics no one in the West would have paid one iota of attention to his mad ramblings which parodied the old testament."
"Lenin was the lawyer and murderer.  He's the real gangster.  After him Stalin was just a foot note. Everything utterly evil about communism comes direct from Lenin.  He engineered the program and everyone including the Pol Pot followed on it.  It was a template for genocide and mass murder.  80 million killed in Russia and 120 million killed in China.  Millions more wherever communism became the dictatorship of the committee. And Lenin devised the one committee to 'dictate to the proletariat.'  Marx was an idiot compared to the Machiavellianism of Lenin. In comparison Marx was a mad man."
We were riding in my Ford F350 4x4 Harley Davidson edition Truck with my Honda 250 enduro motorcycle in the back.  Gilbert sat between us.  We climbed the steep mountain up to the Rattler branch of the Forest Service Road. There were spruce and pine on either side, clearings where a deer might be standing. There were openings in the new growth forest where a bear might be wandering. We drove along looking everywhere.  I probably should have got out and sat waiting for the deer or stalked them in trails that led out from the main logging road. But the truck was warm and we were having a really good conversation. It would last two days.
"I thought Freud was as much a parody of the Old Testament as Marx." I said.
"They both hated God.  Have you noticed that the ungodly aren't particularly creative and rely mostly on theft for their ideas. "
"The Communists knew about the nuclear experiment before the President."
"Obama is spying on everyone. Everyone is being monitored.  The United States under him has become even more under surveillance than the Communists kept their population."
"They'll only be happy when everyone is a slave."
"I'm a wage slave as it is."
"No I mean a real slave. You're able to own a truck and drive out to the woods but it won't been long before you'll have to get permission to travel from one city to another or province to province.  You soon won't be able to afford it with the price of fuel.  Everyone will be working and only have enough money for their accommodation and some toys to entertain themselves before they go back to work."
"I just heard a similar scenario when I was overseas.  There's a lot that believe that the world as we know it will collapse soon.  My colleague figures that just as Israel was punished by leaving the ways of God so he thinks that society as a whole will be punished for murdering babies en mass. The Nazis could be said to have been punished for their carnage.  He makes a good point about the history of consequences. "
"I think the people who were behind communism saw that the west ruined their vision of being the ultimate dictators of a one world government of proletariat  so they'll do anything to bring down the west.  They're destroying it from within.  Everyone whose a threat gets taken out with some honey pot sex scandal and then is replaced by some lightweight party liner.  Can you believe a three star General in charge of nuclear weapons got burnt by a fabricated gambling charge. Then the best of the presidential guard get knocked off with a prostitute scandal.  These aren't random events. "
"I thought that when they got rid of the next President of France to be with the cleaning lady scandal."
"The KGB perfected the honey pot scandals.  I heard that politicians asked in Europe said they were all afraid their reputations would be ruined if they spoke up"
"Then there's Weaner showing pictures of himself naked on the internet. Can you believe the God shot of that guys name. His high school classmates must be saying now "He always was a weaner."  
"It's just that the women here as so stupid. They are being lead by the nose. It was the same with the long gun registry. Long guns never used by criminals. No registered guns used by criminals. Criminals killing Criminals.  They lied about the suicide stats too. They were killing themselves jumping out of palm trees when I was in the Polynesian Islands.  The stupid girls all jumped on board to out law guns and suddenly they'd disarmed themselves and now couldn't carry a purse gun.  The long gun registry was a 2 billion dollar government money grab fostered on everyone because women didn't take the time to study the stats.  Mark Lepine wasn't even who people thought he was.  But suddenly every rural person with a gun was a rapist and needed to be disarmed.  I couldn't believe it and only believe that enough woke up that that was why Ignatieff was turfed. Now they're getting them to vote for the electorate to be stoned, none of them remembering "give them cake. I hope enough women get a real education, not that stupid women's lit shit in women's studies.  They don't even read Alice Munro just Gloria Steinem ad infinitum so they can get memorize the communist slogans for their chants. Once women get educated they want meritocracy as much as the next guy rather than being slaves and living on pig slops.  The Iron Curtain kept people in.  Meanwhile everyone legal and illegal is trying to get into the west. Communism destroys everything eventually . "
When we stopped to pee Gilbert ran around the truck and through the woods all about doing circles and patterns in search of grouse. He was bored by our stupid conversation and wanting us to get on with grouse hunting. We call him Grouse Master Gilbert. He's only a little guy and not much help with deer or bear but when it comes to grouse he flushes them ,finds them and even catches them with dog olympic leaps into the air.
"The UN is communism all round. It's into this Article 21 thing and wants to reduce the world population to a matter of millions.  They all want to be the dictator though. Like Mortgentaler aborting the Catholics in Quebec. He didn't get his wife to abort his children.  The Communist leaders have always had their dachas and concubines.  It's just that the proletariat don't even get condoms and all the women have their babies ripped out of them."
"I heard about the Chinese women who try to have a second baby, they're killing them even as they're being born, sucking the brains out as she's delivering."
"It's a death culture.  More people have been murdered by atheists in a hundred years than any God based group has done in the whole history of th world."
"Bolivia is making a lot of fine bird guns."
"Apparently they have a problem with crows on the plantations so everyone has shot guns to handle the predators."
"I love my Bolito 20 gauge. The 12 gauge shot hurt the meat but the 20 gauge is like sand and so far I've shot 14 birds with it and they've all been fine eating without any loss of flesh.  I think I like it better than the 22 guage.  Shooting the head off grouse is fine but I'm more certain with the 20 gauge and when I hit the shoulder of the bird with the 22 I lost a lot of meat.   Sonny was big on the 20 gauge when we were up in Fort St. James and I have to give it to him I'm a convert now.
Other than the dozen or more doe we'd seen coming in we didn't see any does, or moose or elk or bear all morning. Then we were driving down this side road when I yelled stop.  I took out the 20 gauge and blasted the grouse standing in the high grass along side the tree line. I'd just seen the head turning to look in the direction of the truck.  Gilbert leaped out the window of the truck and was a blur of motion as he pounced on the bird.  I had to find the bird underneath him to wring it's neck.  I missed the next one.  And the ones after that too.  By the end of the weekend the tally would be a dozen grouse free and only 2 shot.  Gilbert flushed the ones in the bushes but I never got a clear shot in the heavy woods where we found them along the streams. I took the shot but the birds were long gone.  Gilbert followed and ran circles and patterns looking for more. He was a little disappointed in me.  Tom was driving the truck and he felt Tom had done his job but I was the shooter and I was supposed to hit more birds. He gave me those looks hunting dogs give, "what am I doing hunting with you." looks.  If he had a cell phone and an agent he'd have been on another hunting team before the weekend ended.
We were staying in the motel in Princeton.  Great place with pool right by the highway beside the gas station near one of the best hunting and fishing stores in the province.  We had a pizza from Pizza Party just a short walk from the motel.  Gilbert had spooked 5 deer when we'd got up at 6 in the morning and headed over  to the A&W.  They were in the parking lot of the motel.  Talk about spies.  I'm sure they were there to report back to the rest of the deer in the valley when we woke up. That's why we didn't see any bucks.
A guy we met told us he and his friends had shot six bucks up north. Like we need to hear this when I've just missed another grouse.  Early in the season the grouse are really stupid and easy to hit. But later in the season they're running at the sound of the truck and when they see you out  walking they're way gone flying in the trees like alien space saucers.
"I told you I met Prime Minister Harper and he was a really decent man."
"That's all I've heard about him too but the media certainly aren't going to tell you the truth about him.
"I met the Liberal leader Turner and he was a good guy too but the media trashed him."
"Right now Troudeau is the media favourite."
"That's because the Canadian media are all dope heads and he's going to legalize their marijuana. For years they were getting drunk in the parliamentary media room and now they're be able to smoke up and write their fantasies about Canadian politics."
"Did you hear Clinton liked to watch porn on the #1 plane and the secret service guys didn't like that.  A general said it was tough advising him about possible war in the middle east with all the tits and ass going on on the screen."
"Do you think the secret service who didn't like porn are the guys who got trashed in that honey pot scam."
"Could be."
"It's all about my pay grade. Watching politics in the world today is no different from the ancient Greeks listening to stories of the Gods on Mount Olympus."
"I think they're trying to undermine everyone's belief in authority so the totalitarian authority guys can step in and kick the girls out after they've killed off all the men. "
"Dr. Ney said men don't care about anything any more because they can't even protect their babies.  The Moslems are righteous and they'll fight for their families whereas western men aren't going to fight like that.  The Chinese guys are all going to fight to rape the western women.  That's what Ghengis Khan and Attilla the Hun were in it for. I read somewhere that 1% of the human genome can be traced to those 2 guys because of all the conquered women they raped.  The Chinese are killing all their feminist babies in the womb so the guys are all single in their armies and ready to do to the west what the Japenese did to them when they invaded. They're still pissed at the West for the opium wars."
"I heard this General talking about the Cowards in Washington  forcing women to fight in the Seals.  He said the Israelis had tried having women  in combat roles but it hadn't worked."
"It's not supposed to work. It's supposed to destroy the Navy Seals and the Marines. The only thing keeping law and order in the world these last 50 years is the American military so everyone wanting to take over the west wants to destroy them so what better way than to put women in their ranks."
"I don't get it.  All the other groups who proved themselves in combat like the blacks did it by proving they themselves could fight as well as the white, like the black air combat patrol.  Yet there's no woman's combat group just women  with men and the men are getting themselves killed trying to save the women rather than carry out their mission . Women aren't going to get themselves shot to save men but that's hard wired into men.  We're protectors."
"Not any more.  Any man who tries to protect a woman in this society gets hit with a sexual harassment suit".
"I couldn't believe all this bullshit about women not being able to get jobs yet I heard they're doing anything to try and get women into the trades but they're now having to get 500 Irish men to come to Canada for these high paying jobs because women don't want to do any heavy lifting. My female surgeon friends say the feminist don't want to get blood on their hands. They like telling everyone what to do but don't want to do the real work. That's why they're all in women's studies and administration."
"And the new Harvard administration schemes all say that you don't need to know anything about anything to tell people what to do. That's why Allan Rock, a lawyer, got to be head of Health Care and botched it up royally because he didn't know anything about the industry. "
"None of them knowing anything about farming either and yet suddenly theres some ivy leaguer whose minister of agriculture. It's like the nobility in the Charge of the Light Bridgage. You bought an officer position. You didn't need to know anything about anything. We're going back to the medieval days with these Lords and Ladys in charge, the new Beugeosie. Out with the old and in with the new. Propaganda beats the guillotine anyway."
We watched an episode of NCIS eating pizza.  I like the show.  All the gender politics are played out. But the woman in charge isn't one of the new 'light lifting'  sorts.  It's all about protecting democracy and I like that.  Good scenarios.  Mix of the terror and the old cold war themes.   The female geek star is as believable as the gorgeous tall policewoman.  The guys get their hands dirty and they're believable too.
We talked about Tom Clancy and C.S. Lewis.
"It's through our Wounds we grow."
I told Tom about Azerbaijan and he told me about his dad not being able to maintain the house .  There'd been a flood and his basement had caved in. "Were it not for a miracle he'd have been taken down by the deluge that  burst through the door.  It's an assisted living place. " Tom figured he was going to like it.  I talked about Dad some too.
I told him I'd had my boat cleaned and how I felt cared for.
"Gilbert's not pleased. I'd been a human living in dog house and now he was a dog living in human house."  Amazing what having a place clean and tidy can do for one's spirit.
"A lot of friends are retiring."
"Some  dying too."
"We're that age."
"I worry some of the ideas about the world at large by old people aren't a projection of their own fears about dying."
"Like Suzuki saying we'll all going to be toast tomorrow and the projections say we're hundreds of years away from any real catastrophe now once the lies are put aside."
"Yea, but not just him.  Anyone who starts saying the worlds going to end when they're old.  I know I'm going to end but I haven't a clue about that or anything else. It's like the whole of life is about coming to terms with the mystery of birth and death."
"I think more and more that the Christian life is about preparing for death. I looked up the 4th dimension and it was a big thing in the 19th century everyone thinking that these 3 dimensions couldn't explain everything but that there was a 4th dimension that they were apart of, the sacred, God, synchronicity, something other and outside of this material world."
"I've always thought that.  I've had all these experiences and I see people loving in spite of circumstance.  I loved Victor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" after his near death experience of Auschwitz. I loved Bonhoffer too.  The Nazi's were pagans, not atheists. They killed a lot of Jews but they didn't kill anything near the numbers Stalin did as an atheist."
"They're still finding the mass graves like the one in Poland."
I missed another chance at shooting a grouse and Gilbert gave me another 'whatever' dog look. Back in the truck he sat on Tom's lap and didn't look at me.
"I think that one was a ptarmigan. They're tougher than partridge.  I think I hit it but I was too far away.I'm finding out how close I have to be, about 30 yards. With 12 gauge you can get grouse out around 50 maybe 100 yards but not with the 20 gauge.  Gilbert's not happy with me."
"The orthotics are helping my injured toe. It was crushed and I got arthritis in it.  But it's actually healing. I asked George when I finally couldn't walk for the pain.   Ttupidly I'd been doing all the wrong things and made it worse. Hows your shoulder."
"Healed right up. I think it' got better when you told me it might be a rotator cuff injury and wouldn't ever heal. "
"I find I'm not willing to hurt my body as much as I did when I'm younger. It's like the truck. I don't want to roll  or crash any more vehicles.  I 'm getting more cautious because it just costs too much to fix things and it takes that much longer for injuries to heal. "
"You know the Roschild's banked both Wellington and Napoleon but before Waterloo Napoleon's troops didn't get their pay."
"I heard Rockerfeller was involved in some dirty politics and I'd have thought he was pro american but you can never tell these days."
"We're living in nation states but the multibillionaire families could already be living on space stations and we'd never know it. Maybe Roschilds, Rockerfellers and Bill Gates and all these guys we know of are just the tip of the ice berg. They're the guys we know of but they take their orders from these guys even richer than them that have so much money they can be truly private."
"I saw that whenever they point the Hubble Space Telescope at empty space they find millions and millions more galaxies."
"Dr. Ney was telling me he figured Satan was the second law of thermodynamics and that heaven was perfect without entropy."
"I actually smell sulphur when I'm around truly evil people. I think it's a pattern recognition trigger that I've learned for recognizing the clear cut psychopaths."
I got back into the truck after missing another grouse.  Gilbert climbed into the back and went to sleep. He was being a bit dramatic.
"I told Phillip I'd concluded that women who want to marry psychiatrists are clearly the craziest whereas the poorest women would be attracted to bankers and the sickest to surgeons."
"Men are stupid. They're just interested in cleavage."
"I'd like to do a comparison study of men breast fed and those who weren't.  I truly don't know which would be more likely to fixate on breasts but it would be a great pure science study. "
Gilbert pounced on the second grouse I finally shout. He held it down with all the might of his little body,  till I came up and took it out  from under his paws. While I was wringing it's neck he was running circles looking for more in the woods.
In the morning pre dawn with our A&W breakfasts we headed out to Tullameen and took the Lawless mountain road back towards the coast. I pointed out to Tom where the highway had caved under and they'd made it a one lane.  I'd been there when there was an avalanche of rocks another time.  A lot of people live out their lives in city ghettos and may as well be like the Bubble Boys. Out in the real world it's more about surrender than control.  But you can't tell the arrogant young and beautiful about reality. Sometimes they live their fairytales right up to death and then they wake up fighting tubes in their nose and throat. I've seen the terror when they realize their whole lives were a lie and they're unprepared for mystery.
When Tom was riding too close to the outer edge out the high mountain logging road I told him I was feeling anxious.   I reminded him of the time  I'd had my truck dangling over the edge of just such a high mountain logging road, when the road caved out from under me . I 'd had to climb out the passenger door and use the winch to get the vehicle back on the road above.  It had been dangling like a teeter totter and I'd been afraid if I blew on it it would have gone down the 6 story high cliff.  I was blessed to get out alive. Driving down with two wheels on what was left of the road and two on the wall , I was worried I'd flip.  In that split second I'd gunned it over, it  was a very scary thing.  Tom kept the truck closer to the rock face after that.  He said he was trying to save the suspension by missing most of the pot holes. There was only a little road around the potholes at best.
We talked of Luke, John, old friends, theology classes we'd taken together, the new technology. He gave me the Tom Clancy Debt of Honor book to re read. It's all about Saipan.
"I know. I read it when I was there."
"It's even more important now.  Do you think Tom Clancy died of a hit put on him.
"Could be.  We still don't know who shot Kennedy. "  I said.
"I cook the grouse in butter after I've de boned it. I sometimes use curry or some lemon for spice and then I serve it on rice."
We'd only shot 2 grouse. The diesel fuel we'd used was about $150 just driving around in the back woods.  Adding the wear and tear on the truck, the missed shells, motel and A&W, we figured each grouse alone was about $200."
"The caviar in Azerbaijan is worth $400 for 100 gms.  This grouse is like caviar to me.  I think knowing all that goes into it, and the joy of watching Gilbert, makes grouse my favourite food of all time.  Better than caviar."
 "It sure is tasty."
"Good seeing you.  I probably should have been out sitting on a rock waiting for the deer or stalking about in the bushes alone but I enjoyed the conversation and driving around the backwoods in a warm truck with a gun,a dog a thermos of coffee, a friend. Well it can't be beat."
Tom wanted to wash the truck but I told him I'd done that the week before.  I was planning on going out hunting again next week so why bother.  Before going out on the highway I got the trigger locks on all the guns and emptied my pockets of ammo, putting it all in my waterproof cases. Then it was a drive down to Tom's country place before I headed back to the city with Gilbert.
I don't know what's going on in the world but it's not what it seems.  I know for sure it's not what we're being told.  The media only gives us what sells.  Jesus said the devil is a liar and a murderer.  There's a lot of that these days.
And if you want to get rid of the devil without you have to address the devil within.
I gave one grouse to Tom and took the other home with me.  I'll share mine with Gilbert.  

Caviar - Baku Azerbaijan

We're leaving today. I have heard that the Azerbaijan Caviar is the finest in the world .I have had sturgeon here and it's the most delicious fish.  I liken the experience of eating to the joy I have had eating arctic char in the north. They're different fish, for sure, but the experience is equally joyful.
Well, to get caviar I went on an expedition. I walked about the markets and shops of the Old City and New City about here until I was told that I had to go to the Park Bulvar.  So I got a London taxi and off I went in search of caviar.  In Park Bulvar there is a food shop with everything, the Bazaar Store.  And there I found Caviar.  Hallelujah. In Canada this caviar is apparently  it's 5 to 10 times  or more the price.
There's a limit on how much I can take out of the country. I have several jars and couldn't wait. I ate one. My goodness it's good. It's the best caviar I've had and I've had fine caviar. Nothing so fine as this.  Wow!

Heathrow Airport

Here I am again in Heathrow.  Dr. Ney had wanted to go to the bookstore while I went off to look at the caviar.  Here the sturgeon caviar is $400. Beter packaging that my lowly Baku market caviar but a 'ku (coup) none theless.  I think there's a component of selection and certification, a bit like champagne and sparkling water. What I've got tastes very fine if it lacks the the fancy packaging.  The market up in "health food stores'  is equivalent to fashion industry, 50% or so.
I liked walking in the little Harrod's shop here.  Nostalgia for my days living in London and working across from Harrod's.  We arrived here from Azerbaijan and stayed over at the Holiday Inn.  The gate's not been announced so I'm waiting here for Dr. Ney to appear. I've perused the books and can't say I'm up for another terrorist attack novel.  More serious reading is fatiguing on a long flight.  Our seats were changed without our knowledge but I've been able to get an exit in lieu of the aisle I'd requested.  Dr. Ney likes window seats.  We've both logged some hundreds of thousands of miles flying and trust in prayer.
People watching at Heathrow is spectacular.  All manner of folk pass this way, interspaced with the glamorous stewardesses of countless air lines.  I simply love being back where English is the language of choice.  After a week of hearing a foreign tongue my own is musical in comparison.

Flying Carpet, Old City, Baku, Azerbaijan

At my request, Nancy took us to one of her favourite carpet stores, the Flying Carpet, in the Old City ,just by Maiden Tower in Baku, Azerbaijan.  Nancy loves carpets.  Even before I left Vancouver for Azerbaijan I'd read about their carpets, the finest in the world , hand made in homes.  A mother makes one for a daughter. They're passed along.
Over 70 years old they're antiques and sell for thousands. The ones made up to 50 years old in the Russian era are still for sale. And new ones are being made with different regions of Azerbaijan having different styles and quality.  There are silk and wool carpets which due to the quality of silk seem best for hanging on the wall. Cotton and wool are tough and feel lovely. Wool on wool is durable.
I wanted a simple 'runner' not a whole carpet. When we arrived who should we find but Dr. Katme, our colleague. He's befriended this fellow Muslim and they've been having tea and discussing scripture and family.  The owner spoke English fluently and was helped by his brother. He had a great sense of humour and much respect for our elder gentleman colleague, Dr. Ney.  Nancy had told me how Azerbaijan is so gracious and admiring of the older people. Here I saw it as the two bartered playfully the younger man holding his own barely against the wiley Dr. Ney who'd just been telling us of his time working with cannibals.
Dr. Ney wanted flying lessons to be included in the cost of carpets.
We were served tea while different carpets were laid out, their pros and cons discussed and the prices and materials and history of each given. It was an experience as much as anything.  Quite the delightful past time indeed.  When it came to buying I found he didn't take Visa, American Express and Mastercard being the preferred cards here. No problem because a bank ATM was located down the street and I was back with cash in flash.
Nancy's husband arrived with their children and off they went.  It was a too brief good bye to a lady whose coming and going deserved cymbals and violins at very least.    She's the kind of person that  makes me want to serve Jesus more.
Indeed all the men and women I met this week had me wanting to be the best person I could be.
Dr. Opah, Dr. Ney and I continued on to look at the outdoor stalls for more presents for Dr. Ney's family, children and grandchildren.  

Karvan Sara Lunch, Baku, Azerbaijan

Nancy has become one of my favourite anointed ones.  She is a humble Catholic lady whose heart and service are  amazing. She speaks of her husband and children with love and joy. Her being lights up as she cares for others. I enjoy being with her.  Her spirit is calm.
She has joined with Dr. Ney in the fight for the unborn babies.  Her friend, Angelique is equally kind. She's Dutch and speaks to the heart of matters. The two are friends and together have taken upon themselves the daunting work of pro life in Azerbaijan where state abortion was the normal. Women here  have been forced to have abortions mostly by men.  Now they struggle damaged with loss and grief.
Today we had lunch in Karvan Sara.  It was a unique experience. The sturgeon was incomparable.  Kebabs of lamb, chicken, with cold cuts of tongue, roast beef, cheeses and sauces were thoroughly salivatingly delicious.  We talked of silly things and serious things. It had been a week of intense work and service.  Dr. Opah from the Phillipines and Dr. Ney spoke to the international work of Hope Alive.  Developing counsellors to address the consequences of abortion. Healing words and practice.  We shared talk of our homes and local events. The old president is the new president.
On the walls were famous Azerbaijan carpets alongside black and white pictures of yesteryear.  A cat joined us and gravitated to Nancy and Angelique. Go Figure!
We talked of faith and God and Jesus.  It was a unique experience.  Here in this ancient building with the finest of food and the best of comrades.  When we had finished, we bid farewell to Angelique  What a remarkable woman, wife, mother, organizer. Nancy came along with me having agreed to help me buy a carpet, a passion of hers too, here in Azerbaijan where the carpets are known the world over.