Showing posts with label hunting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hunting. Show all posts

Saturday, September 14, 2024

Camping, Hunting, Ford F350, Adventurer Camper and Honda Tracker ATV

Rifle hunting season opened this week.  I thank Kevin Bustard, a most enthusiast hunter for letting me know he was heading out last night with his amazing older children, Izek, Alex and Kendra.  Anna is in Newfoundland with the little boys, Bobby and Billy visitting.  They are so enthusiastic.  I remember there was a time I drove all night to get an hour of rest before setting up pre dawn to hunt.
I’d had a Happy Jack die on me last weekend bow hunting and camping with Laura.  I’d asked John if he’d be able to fix it short notice.  So I was up at 7 am this morning but after prayer and meditation I was on the couch drinking coffee and waiting to phone John at Chilliwach RV Storage,  
9 am.  ‘Good news! “ he said after greeting, “Your camper is ready to go. My son and I finished up the work just yesterday. 
            “Thank you John!  I’ll be out by this afternoon.”
I loaded the F350.  Hunting license, Rifles, Ammunition Clothes, hand held winch, generator and satellite phone. I’m a little older and in the last few years I’ve taken to carrying the Iridium satellite phone I’d used blue water solo sailing. I get 6 months of limited time. I’ve never used hardly any of it yet.  I phoned Laura with it last week. 
“Hi Laura.”
“Hi Bill”.
‘Madigan and I are up on the mountain. Just checking out the satellite phone”
“It’s working fine. Have a great time.”
“Thanks “.   
Laura like to stay at the camper and read.  She does cross words too. I enjoy knowing she’s there.  It’s comforting to return to company, Madigan loves her,  
I take the Star Link dish as well, That’s why I need the generator in addition to charging cell phone and ipad.
I had to stop at Bosley’s for Madigan’s food.  I forgot how much I had here already but he loved a visit to his favourite store.  He’s been liking chews recently.  He really likes the little squeaky toys too.  Now it’s the little one, once it was big ones.  I try to keep up.
In Langley we stopped at the MacDonalds for the quarter pounder patty for him and a quarter pounder and cheese for me.
It was noon by the time I got to John’s.  His son is taller than him now.  They are both what my mom would call tall strapping men.  Lots of work with hands and shoulders on vehicles.  Remind me of my brother and dad.  Good men.  Skookum work. I love people that are reliable and trustworthy.  I like too that the folk he’s introduced me to like our tow truck driver and Kevin at AdventureRVCentre.  Kelvin from Travco did a great job on the body work. I’d backed up with too short a neck on the trailer.  It had damaged both sides severely.  Kelvin made it all presentable again.
Now John had restored the Happy Jack and reinforced more damage.  
“We had to take our the posts and straighten them, Both rear one were bent.’ John said.
“I thought you were strong but not that strong,” I joked,
“We had the equipment to do it and greased it up so to slides now and won’t burn out the engine,”
I love these guys and the work they do.
After they helped me load the like new Adventurer Camper onto the F350 I drove round and hooked up my trailer.  
Victor had taken my ATV to Kelly at Chilliwack Motorcycle and they phoned just as I was leaving John’s at 3.  I really like having my ATV serviced each year just like my Harley. I don’t want ot break down out in the woods somewhere so I’ m really thankful for the maintenance. I was thankful to Victor for introducing me to these guys some years back.  Just as I was loading the ATV onto the trailer the skies opened and it began to rain buckets.  I drove back to ESSO , filling up the truck , exchanging the propane tank and using the water to fill my tank. Across from the ESSO I saw the Work Wear Store. I’d forgotten rain gear so I stopped in and bought a new fall Helly Hansen jacket
An expensive day,  
In Hope I loaded up on groceries and was pleased to see the refridgerator temperature was falling,  Madigan and I are spoiled and like ice cream camping. 
It was 7 pm when I was leaving Hope. It was still raining, I was listening to the Teacher Great Course Psychology series. I really like learning on the go I spent my life listening to rounds from Psychiatry, Neurology, Family Medicine and Addiction Medicine commuting.  University of Arizona has great podcasts. Each is an hour long and my commuter was usually a half hour each way so each week I’d listen to two or three rounds.  Decades of that in addition to the conventional learning.  I stopped at Macdonalds for  another hamburger paddy for Madigan while I had the chicken sandwich. 
It was dark and rainy and I stopped a few times.  I liked pulling over to let the cars pass while I looked up in the rain at the mountains either side of the road.  Madigan and I liked our road side pee break.  I had a train of cars  behind me a couple of times in Manning Park even though they have excellent passing lanes.  The pull offs are great too. I was tired and going 60 and 80 Km most of the way.  I found my eyes struggling with the dark, rain and on coming lights. It was slippery too and I did a little sliding so was glad to go slow.  It’s quite a load.  
Passing through Princeton I’d thought to rest at the A&W but decided to head on out to here Kevin and his kids are across the valley but I realized that I’d rather go here which is high up, so cell phone coverage, and I know it well, And yes I’ve shot lots of grouse here even if it’s not the best for deer. Also lots of hunters come here now. Not like it was decades back when I was usually the only one I’d encounter.  The last few years there’s been so many hunters you could get a hockey game going with a couple of teams.
There are a couple of RV’s and a couple of big tents by the lake. I’m right in the middle. I had to move the truck to get it level enough and then I used the happy jacks to make it even more level.  I might improve on this in the morning.  But I’m here.  It was 10 pm when I arrived.  As Laura always says , “A day travelling each way,”. 
But we all love the camper especially Madigan.  I’ll be able to unload the quad and get out first thing in the morning. Maybe not the crack of dawn or pre dawn but I’m here and I’ll get in a morning hunt and and evening hunt Saturday and Sunday.  
It’s 11 pm,  Today was Friday the 13th.  Fortunately I’m still working so had the money to do the repairs and maintenance that my bad luck and poor driving cost me from the spring off grid hunt.  I am really delighted that this little home is restored. Last year I drove it down to Arizon and had a terrific time working virtual from my camper and riding my Harley about the incredible cowboy country down there,  Laura and I liked having the camper in Harrison’s .  Thanks to Kelvin’s body work I’ll be able to take this camper into the Good Sam full service resorts which I like to stay at as a break from off grid.  I’d actually thought I’d do more off grid than I do but I like the electricity for the Star Link and indoor hot tubs and pools.  After all those years in tents and roughing it I’m apprciating how dad and mom when they got older loved their bus and also cruises in the Caribbean,  My favourite place now is my couch at home but days like this with all the work and exercise sure make me appreciate home. It’s a joke but it really is true that these expeditions in the wild surely make the comforts of home and luxuries of the city so much more appealing. Laura sent me a picture of her new Roomba checking out her bedroom floor and cleaning it up.  This is Madigan’s world. He got all muddy in the rain and lay on this table so I had to clean of dirt and sand before I had a place to type. At least I don’t have to share a bed with him. He sleeps down here while I sleep on the higher bed which he can’t climb up to. At home he likes to walk accross my face in the bed.  He really is good company Cuddled beside me most of the way.
Well I’m glad to be here.  I’ve arrived safe and no damage to human dog or equipment. Thank you Jesus!!!!Thank you God,  Thank you Holy Spirit.   
























Friday, September 6, 2024

Writing, psychiatry, development, blogging, gratitude

I just read C.S. Lewis on writing.  I am a writer but I am not writing as I could.My stream of consciousness open journal blog project is a bit old.  I like writing my thought. I’d originally thought to share these because so many ‘bad’ people were attempting to censor not just speech but thought. I wanted to clarify that sanity was not a sanitized mind.  As a psychiatrist I wanted people to see that creativity and imagination could be cluttered.  I wanted to share that all the drives and impulses and good and bad thoughts passed through the mind of a supposedly ‘bormal’ or ‘well’ person, The distinction was what one focussed their attention on,  
Cognitive behavioural Therapy certainly teaches us that what we focus or dwell on is what matters.  
The Twelve Steps teach us that we commonly hold resentments and fears and that they underline our daily actions and achievements , 
Mystics like Brother Lawrence have taught us to remain in the present. Carpe diem.  Seize the day.  One day at a time.  Get your head in the same room as your ass is.
Christianity and other faith healings taught the rational person to be aware of their addiction or obsession with the various ‘sins’ ‘errors of distraction”. These were Pride, Lust, Gluttony, Sloth, Envy, Greed, Anger.  Peace of mind and focus on the’ good’ were goals of enlightenment.  Moderation was sought rather than extremes.  
The psychoanalyst taught us that there was an unconscious which influenced our day to day life.  Fundamental drives influenced the rational.  Reproduction or sex.  Fear of death.  Aggression and competition,  
Psychology taught us that the mind wasn’t the Lockian tabula Rosa like the computer or chalkboard but rather a mixture of nature and nurture.  Genetics and imprinting and epigebnetic factors affected our behaviour. 
The philosophers taught us about existential angst.  Victor Frankly taught us the need for meaning and purpose, what he learned from surviving Auschwitz.  
Positive Psychology looked to resilienc, determination, meaning, motivation.  
Motivation therapy helped break old coping strategies which had once been beneficial but now had become chains,
The desire to be ‘free’ was fundamental yet cooperation was necessary for evolution and advancement of individual and group,  Sociology, sociobiology, history, tribal wisdom, memory all contributed to allowing the individual and group to ‘actualize’.  Maslow delineated the various developmental processes and stages.  Freuds original Oral, Anal, Genital stages of development was much expanded by. Erickson with his 8 stages of development. Piaget showed the progress of Neuro development from concrete to abstract. Today we know the brain doesn’t really achieve maturity till 25 and indeed neuroplasticity is such that learning continues throughout life despite the pruning and focus of the neural network towards certain pursuits.
I ‘ve enjoyed journaling my inner confusion, the likes of the play Waiting for Godot’.  I’ve enjoyed sharing my journeys and adventures.  I’ve imagined that others have appreciated seeing that the ‘unneditted’ work precedes the editted work.  Indeed for creativity we encouraged presence, childlike mind and stream of consciousness.  The artist is necessarily at odds with the police.  
Freud described the Id, Ego and Superego.  This was later developed as the Parent, Adult, Child model of Transactional Analysis.  The artist is necessarily more childlike in their approach to reality while the police man is more parental.  Interactions are often at conflict in tone due to these differences in mods of communication.  Don’t talk down to me is a telling phrase.  Who do you think you are is another.  The content or data may not be as problematic ass the carrier wave or tone as in communication theory and ‘static’ seen in Hamm radio frequency 

I like to take pictures, I like to share them, I like that my journal serves to be a reminder of my own history.  If we forget history we are bound to repeat it.  I am amused at the repetitive challenges I encounter when I look back at my journal here.  This is unedited. It was to be the basis for edited works. I have three books in preparation and I’m making low progress because it’s more work.  Writing is fun.  Editing and organizing and such is more work.  I miss having an editor.  I like the division of labour.  I wrote columns and magazine articles saying I became a master of the 10 page piece.  Now we’ve moved to sound bites. I am hoping to complete the book. One is on travel with dogs.  Another is on psychiatry another on spirituality and addiction,  I seem to need time and spac to organize these.  Blogging I can do in a half hour. I don’t need a desk or floor to lay out the whole work . Yet that’s where I want to go and imagine if I retired I’d simply retire to a desk with the three projects set before me and devote three months to each.  I’d like that but frankly I like my life as it is now,  I continue to write as exercise as well, It’s like rifle target practice,  It serves many purposes. For years I wrote and buried the journals of cursive writing in baxes in the basements,  That was before politic abd dark web and social media.  Today we know there is no black and white but always grey and a rainbow of colours. I’m grateful for that. I’m tired of being around the paranoid and angry. I want to play in imagination and dalience enjoying the journey more than the destination, Thank you








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Tuesday, September 3, 2024

Camping Gratitude

Thank you Lord for the morning Thank you for the quiet.  There is only the sound of the creek rushing by. The sound of the highway has hardly woken. I heard one truck go by. There are no sirens. I don’t even have a heat making noise.  She mumbled in her sleep a bit. The dog didn’t make a sound till I got out of bed and used the toilet. Thank you for indoor plumbing and water.
Thank you that I have water. Yesterday I backed the trailer into the water hose post catching the hose on the trailer and pulling off the top causing an unstoppable geyser requiring public works to be called.  She was sitting beside there and didn’t call to tell me I was going to hit something. I couldn’t see it in the mirrors. I’m no good at backing up and relied on her there to help. « I didn’t know what you were doing , » she said, « I couldn’t see. » 
I was blaming and upset.  Another expense I thought. I could pay but equipment costs too much to maintain.  I did damage my last trip out also backing up the trailer.  There are problems in design of the equipment. I’ve asked for help and been brushed off.  It’s the story of my life these days.  Aging.  I express concerns and they’re brushed off. I aware of death.  
Thank you for this day again. I’m glad to be alive.  
Yesterday I got lost in the back woods driving my quad. I took a left turn thinking it would lead to Jura,  It eventually lead to Eris.  But I’d started to secondary main looking logging road only to have it descend into a rock strewn steep trail that had me descending in a bit of terror using first gear and a lot of braking. Madigan was on the Honda Tracker quad behind me.  I’d long given up looking for game and was focussed totally on the descent and not pitchpoling or tipping to left or right. I was glad to cross the railway path but turned north rather than south.  Fortunately some kids on motorcycles appeared and I headed down from where they came up.
That’s when I found the Eris fire department. Across the road a delightful man was backing up his hoe. I drove the quad to him. He got out of his cab when I asked him how I’d get back to Heimbre Mountain Road.  He asked how I’d come to be there and told m I’d made a wrong turn at the sand pit.  He drew me a map. His kid come out to watch the adults. His dogs visitted my dog.  I turned around the quad and headed back out only to find myself in a private property. 
I came out of the private property and turned up a road leading up the mountain. It didn’t seem steep at first but when I hit the bend I could see the next stretch was way to steep. It was broken rocky uneven and I’d have to stand the whole way up if I hoped to make it. I tried to back down but the path was uneven and I immediately feared tipping to the side. There was only one hope, gun it. I did. Ending on a bit of flat beside the trail, heart racing and breath shallow. I didn’t even bother looking back at Madigan. He was leaning into my back his little heart thumping. I was about to be frozen so gunned it again making it to a turn on the off road moss not quite tilting over as I came around.  Then it was straight and back down the trail convinced I’d been guarded by angels and nearly escaped rolling with a quad on top of me,  I headed back to Eris and took a different trail up the mountain eventually arriving at the railway trail , back to the sand pit and onto the tunnel, the helpful guide had marked in his hand written map.  The tunnel clinched it . I was going to be okay.  I found the highway and took the Hiembre Mountain road back to my truck.
Thank you God the truck and trailer were undisturbed. Thank you God that Madigan and I were unhurt.  Thank you God for the beautiful sunny day with just a touch of rain and cloud now,  Thank you God for the Camper. It was great to see it there and great to see Laura sitting outside. I’d thought on the way I’d ask for her help backing in.  But as she was  sitting outside I thought she’d be watching, That’s when I backed the trailer into the tap and created havoc the geyser creating a puddle as I went to get the manager.
He returned and called city works. It was a municipal campground, 
They had it fixed and I was thankful.  I was tired and didb’t know what I was thinking. That they’d shut down the camp. Catastrophising as usual. They did shut the water off for a few minutes but only to that site.  
With Laura’s help I actually backed the trailer into the site without hitting anything else.  I then unhitched the trailer and backed in the truck. For future reference I won’t bring a trailer to this campground. We’ve been coming here thirty years and only twice have I brought a trailer. This is the only time on season and the park was packed and maneuverability was anxiety provoking. I’m exhausted at the end of the day of hunting too. Too much time on the couch and Netflix since Covid. I walk the dog but no athleticism sinc the crisis.  The camper has been in repair half the time too during hunting season because I keep breaking something or it’s just wear and tear. This weekend a happy jack failed and I’ve had to hand crank the jack.  When I get back I’m hoping John will fix it. The waitlist for repairs on trailers is 3 to 6 months. Now I’m in the season when I actually use the trailer.  Oh well, Thank you God I’m alive, Laura’s alive, Madigan’s alive and we’re out here in the wilderness taking a break from the city and the work demands and insaiety.  Thank you for all your blessings ,Thank you for Oxford which has been continually distracting me and filling me with doubt and concern.  Looking back is difficult these days as there seems so little forward. I’ve begun reading old books and watching old movie s and enjoying them. I simply don’t see a future. I’m just muddling along and that’s okay but the new adventure just isn’t there. I m. I’ve a list of achievements but I read Thomas Merton on obscurity and consider the need to surrender and question letting go.  I am going gentle into the night and I’m not raging. Just muddling. I dob’t like the politics and the lies and taxes and the corruption upst me.  Gratitude is the answer. God is good all the time. The Infinite holds every possibility. Phillips was right . My God is too small. I must trust and accept grace. This too will pass. The Hound of Heaven will find me. The long dark night of the soul will end, I’m do the next right thing,  Time is of an essence, Joy awaits. Thank you Jesus. 




















Sunday, March 24, 2024

BC Outdoor Day

BC Outdoor Show was a huge success. I drove out to Chilliwack in the morning leaving poor Madigan to guard the house. As it turned out there were dogs at the event and he could have come along. Next year.
Kevin and Anna with their children Izek, Alex, Kendra Bobby and Billy were going to be there and had left before me.  It was in the Chilliwack’s Convention centre in Chilliwack’s Heritage Park.  When I entered I saw a wide range of sport boats, ATV’s and trailers. I pretty much have everything I could want for hunting, fishing and camping but love the trailers.  Great workmanship. My quad now sits in an open trailer covered by a tarp. The beauty of enclosed trailers is that they protect the equipment, are safer but also can be used as camping accommodation once the quad is out.  
I caught up with Kevin and Anna and the God kids at the archery display.  Willy was riding on Kevin’s shoulders and Anna was teaching Bobby to shoot a bow.  Together we walked around the exhibits. I most enjoyed seeing a video of Izek’s first bear on display at the Italian Sporting Store. I’d bought my first Browning Cross Bow in the 80’s from Italian and shortly after shot a deer. A friend of Kevin’s was videographer Ashley who does great out door films.  Kevin is writing delightfully entertaining stories of himself and family hunting fishing and camping. Originally from the Maritimes, Kevin is following in the footsteps of Farley Mowat.  While we were there he even had ‘fans’ coming up and expressing their enjoyment of his humor.  With the 5 little characters from his story all about it was hard for him to be camouflaged.  The kids had also enjoyed the Big horn Sheep hats and advertising stickers from each of the booths they collected and wore.
Anna who has taken up taxidermy enjoyed most the leather working folk while the kids met up with other kids.  A true family event. We stopped at the Heritage Hut inside for hotdogs and poutine.  I was interested in the Canadian made Kodiak rifle and some other 223 semi auto’s which had not been moved from non restricted to restricted rating when dictator Trudeau tried to outlaw any rifle not painted pink.. I understood the concern for the AR 15 since the communist chinese had developed working to alter the semi automatic rifles to automatic and naturally everyone was concerned about Communist China after the Wuhan Lab leak and spies being found with stockpiles of the AR 15 parts. I was upset because in the typical anti American Trudeau family nonsense they outlawed my Ruger Mini 14 semi auto ranch rifle the one I’d used for shooting so many rabbits and served so many farmers from varmint protection.  Now here were these equivalent Israeli and Canadian and other equivalent rifles not outlawed.  I was tempted to buy the Kodiak but resisted the impulse though was really glad to have the chance to handle one at the Chilliwack gun stores exhibit. 
Alex was fascinated by demonstrations of new moving fishing lures and told me about the fishing rod he’d bought himself.  The knife exhibit was something else and I don’t know how I resisted buying another knifes since all the very best were represented.  It’s not unusual for me to resist buying something at a trade show only to purchase it a year or two later. Certainly that was the case with my Harley Electroglide and Honda Pioneer ATV.  Trade shows are so much more exciteing and 3 dimentional than Amazon and the catalogues that are so much apart of the shopping geography today.
I really did enjoy the kids. Kendra is becoming a beautiful young lady fortunately following her mother Anna’s.  I imagine the boys will all have ZZ top beards one day like their grizzled father. I loved when Kevin bought Bobby and Willy toy keeps they just dropped to the floor oblivious of passers and turned the carpet there into some Indie 500 off road track of a child’s mind. 
It was a great Saturday and one of the best all round Outdoor show’s attended at a perfect venue.  Later this year I’m planning on hunting in the area of where Kevin hunts with his family if only to be able to radio for help if I shoot big game. I’ve had to admit that despite the help of my Quad and winch I still would anticipate having a really hard and likely unsafe time getting big game out of the woods.  I really want to eat more venison and maybe moose but I don’t need the hundred and thousands of pounds of meat so would gladly trade for some hauling muscle if I’m succesful as I fear slipping and falling breaking something at an age when healing takes long. I’m humbled by age remembering nostalgically when I carried quarters of moose out of the woods and ran down a mountain side carrying a black tail over my shoulders.  Kevin’s got some little men and women to help him along with Anna who insists on doin the skinning so she can get the best hides.
All round a great day.  All that was missing my my little guy, the great grouse retriever, Cockapoo Madigan.  Next year he’ll come along for sure. 





  



















Sunday, October 22, 2023

Chain Lake

It was all day getting here. I packed last night but this morning slept in some and didn’t get away till 1030 am. So much for the break of Dawn start. I had to pack as much stuff for four days as I would for weeks. 
The Langley bottle neck was worsened by a truck’s load turning over in the ditch. Once we passed that with everyone slowed to look we moved along well to Bottsford.
I stopped at Cabelss. Again great store, great selection but surly staff. Negative vibe.. I asked for a mule deer tag and the guy pointed at a sign saying mule deer tags sold out. Superior attitude. I so like the staff in other game and fish and gun stores.
There’s no 30:06 180 grain ammo, I bought some 12 gauge bb and 8 , ducks and grouse. I’ve the 20 gauge and 12 gauge barrel. 
I get some cookwear and small,propane bottles for the camp stove,
I bought the Garmin mini inreach which works as gps and pairs with the cell phone to send text messages on an iridium plan. 
I wasn’t able to get the iridium plan on line or at Canadian tire or Best Buy. Fortunately Ralf’s was able to set me up on the phone for a satellite iridium 6 month plan. I feel comfortable now in the outback with this. It keeps me in touch with clinics too. Very professional being reachable.
I collected the ATV and trailer at John’s, Chilliwack RV Storage. I was missing a key but found my bolt cutters. It was a challenge to hook it up and see that the Honda 420 Rancher started. I was pleased.
Madigan and I had Macdonald’s burgers outside Cabelas. 
There was a forest fires outside Hope. A couple of helicopters were water bombing it. Lots of smoke. They we were on number 3 headed for Princeton. I had a couple of patients calls to manage.. Glad to be of service. 
At Princeton I filled up with gas. just-inflation, $400 for the truck and ATV and 3 5 gal jugs..
I stopped and the store and bought a couple hundred dollars worth of food missing the refridgerator in the camper.
I bought Madiganand I A&W burghers and onion rings
I’d begun listening to a Johstone Preacher audio book, a movie in your mind,
It was dark.
I’d thought of joining the bustards and May tomorrow. I worry about leaving truck and stuff when o go off alone hunting on the ATV safety in numbers
Queen Elizabeth died.
I saw a notic that the Chinese were attacking US Navy.
I was tired when I pulled into Chain Like. It was pretty full, all the lake spots but I have this place. I put up the North Face thankful for my head lamp, lots of memories of putting tents up in the dark.
It’s pretty skookum. I’ve got a MEC Draco -7 degrees sleeping bag and it’s really cozy. Madigan’s first time in a tent. All very strange for him. He’s finally settled.
I tried to sleep but couldn’t.
Reading western novel then thought to journal.
Thank you God for this wonderful day.


Sunday, September 26, 2021

Cogburn Wilderness Camp< Harrison Lake

It’s truly lovely here. I have the Adventurer Camper on my Ford F-350. The ride up Harrison East was daunting after I hit a pot hole last trip doing damage to the camper corner and breaking the actual bar that holds the camper down on the truck bed  The bar fell off on the road through Rosedale. I stopped and a couple of young girl stopped and offered to drive their car back to where they saw it fall off and picked it up for me,
“It was just a mile back, I saw it come off,” said another young fellow who stopped.  I’d had to wait till a safe place to pull over and  put on the flashers. Before heading up Harrison East I attached a tie down cord.  It was better than nothing. I was pulling the trailer and ATV.  Nice people,  Reassuring young people stopping and offering help.
The Cogburn Camp owner said they officially closed the week before but could take me as it was clear I wasn’t there to party. 

“We brought in a damage deposit and that stopped the loud partying set coming here.  My wife and I like the folk who like it here for the quiet and beauty.” He was a pleasant fellow. A bit like Hawkeye from MASH.  Tall, lean, blue jeans, clear eyes. 

“I thought I’d like to go for swim if it’s not too cold,” I said.

“There’s a dock with a chair on it and the beach stretches forever around the way,” He suggested a spot close to the beach.

I took the spot right away. There were only a few RV’s and I loved the isolation,

I set up the camper and unloaded the ATV. It was 6 pm when I headed back up to the logging road.  I didn’t see any deer but I saw 4 separate grouse. The first two flew up way ahead of me. I shot at the next two and was sure I hit one but it flew away into the forest.  Madigan was excited by all this action. I concluded I was using 7 1/2 shot. Good for grouse when you can walk up closer but I switched out my pocket for number 5. If I’d had #5 or #6 I’m sure I would have brought that one down. The ATV scares them when I’m further away.  It was already dusk after the last one got away. I headed back down..  I’d made it here and set up and actually got in a bit of the evening hunt,

I unloaded the guns and stripped off the hunting clothes. My jeans with a belt load of knives and ammo weigh a ton. Good to lighten up.  Next in my bathing suit wearing teva’s I walked along to the beach then waded way out in the cold water. The sky was beautiful.  The Big Dipper and Cassopeaa.  Mountain all around. The lake beautiful. I’d accommodated to the cold when I finally dove in and swam a bit, enjoying floating  on my back looking up at the endless sky of galaxies 

I’d left Madigan in the camper and he was really glad when I returned.   I boiled up some smokies. I had cole slaw and potato salad from the deli, fresh white buns.  A delicious meal. Madigan liked half a Smokey. He prefers steak.

I couldn’t put down Tanis Laidlaw’s, Tuesday Child, a mystery thriller, only able to fall asleep when I finished it after midnight.  Worried about the power and batteries I didn’t put on the heater but didn’t need it. It was warm.  I got up once to look outside. I just love the air and the lake and the mountains all around, the stars and nearly full moon. Awe inspiring,

I didn’t get a before drawn start. I made expresso and filled a thermos.  I had left the Honda 420 Rancher pretty well loaded. It was 730 when I headed out It was a blue sky day, I loved the early morning calm, the ATV chugging up the mountain trail. No grouse but great slash. I parked the quad, taking only my Ruger 30:06 stalking  up the trail off the logging road.  I could imagine bucks and bear but despite slowly walking uphill for an hour stopping and scoping nothing appeared. 

Madigan who loves the ATV loved this mountain hike.  A couple of hours of exercise and I turned around , glad to get back to the Honda and coffee. Madigan had water.  We shared a granola bar . Madigan jumped up on his seat ready for more road hunting.

On the way out I met a fellow in a 4x4 SUV. I was surprised he’d crossed the two cuts in the road, in his vehicle. They were veritable ravines. I’d wondered about doing it with the ATV, standing as I code up the steep sides.  We talked.  He was young and exploring. I’d just seen a grouse but it had skedaddled away.  AFter he left I saw another grouse. This one stayed down when I hit it despite it being a long shot and he was about to run.  

Madigan is two point tied behind me. He’s doing a veritable CARRIE swivelling round and round. Like  a kid in the back seat he’s keeps going side to side.  It’s then a challenge to untangle his leashes. I actually did this time before the bird died.  When I ran up to the bird still flapping he ran right by it then came back. That was an ‘aha’ moment. He pounced on the live squeaky toy and killed it.  That was it, He was now just too excited, I rescued my dinner and gutted the bird putting it in a green bag.  Meanwhile Madigan did circles and jumped on and off the ATV.

Excitement, Bird dog heaven. He’s learning,  



Back at the camp I went for another swim taking soap and conditioner,  I’d spent the afternoon reading a western  Rovky Mountain Saint, young mountain man Tate and his pet wolf,,, Lobo,  I’ve had the generator going charging everything up.  Even my satellite phone had died for lack of power mid call to Laura letting her know where i am. 

It’s really beautiful here, Like summer I love the beach and lake. Time to get ready for the evening hunt. I thawed out some steaks for later. The lantern is charged and I’ve potatos to boil.  

Madigan has been sitting at the picnic table while I’ve been here reading and writing.  He’s be so exited when I start loading the ATV.  










Sunday, October 25, 2020

More Fall Hunting

As I’d forgot the key to get into the RV storage ,we’d brought the camper home to stow another week. It had to be winterized with non toxic antifreeze as well.  
Friday morning at 2 am I was up and headed for the camper with my rifle.  I’d packed everything else I’d needed and shopped the night before.  3 am I was on the road.
My plan was to hunt between the  Coquahala Summit and Merrit.  A snow storm was in full force by the time I got up the Coquahala. Big trucks were sluicing sideways.  I had chains but couldn’t stop to put them on. By the time I got to the summit the snow was heavy and I wasn’t sure if I went out of the big truck tracks I could get back.  This was not going to work.  I left the highway at a turn around and almost got stuck trying to drive through fresh snow.  Crusty with ice underneath. 
I came back on the highway heading the other direction. I’d had to wait for the big trucks to pass and have a really large space. Even so I was drifting and sluicing and couldn’t accelerate without fishtailing the camper loaded truck.I steadily gained speed as I saw another big truck in my mirror gaining. Finally, I had enough speed  to keep ahead .  At the chain up area I pulled off to wait. I’d almost pissed myself.  Thank God for my own portable toilet. I didn’t know how I was going to get down.  Finally a plow came along and and with several big trucks we convoyed down the mountain slowly.  My wiper was frozen and visibility was terrible. It was still night too so altogether awful.  
I was praying and really thanked God when I got down to the rain. I pulled off at one of the creeks I’d remembered people tenting at during the summer.  I found just such a pull off and had a nap waking when the sun came up.  I hiked 5 km up the mountain using the Sat Phone to give Laura my Lat and Long.  High enough up the cell phone showed one bar and I was actually able to text.  
No deer or bear or grouse.  My feet hurt walking on the rocks and coming down my legs were rubber.  It really was beautiful.  4 hours of hiking in the backwoods.  I was thankful to find my truck.  I made duck and pork pate on buns and ate up.  Then I headed over to Harrison’s wanting to stay low to be out of the snow and sleet.  Harrison’s was just right. I’m parked on a bit of space separated from the main logging road. I’ve done the night hunt....walking painfully uphill a km and sitting listening to the night sounds beginning. In the dark I walked down to the camper.  
Barbecued pork chops and barbecue chips.  Delicious meal. I’ve been listening the brilliant Louise Penny All the Devils Are Here audiobook and loving it. I’m also reading a John Steel book .Now I’m going to bed.  I’m exhausted. I’ve taken robaxin and Advil .  Mostly my calves and feet hurt, but there is my back that chirps up.  Amazing how restorative a night of sleep is.  I realize I only had 4 hours sleep last night.  Hunting is a lot of repetitive work.  I stalk and slowly walk as quietly as I can be going up.  Coming down I’m not so quiet.  Tonight I sat on a log really quiet not moving.   Loved watching the night come on.  The moon and stars are out among the clouds.  Just lovely. 
This camper is skookum and my meal was perfect.
Thank you God for these days!!!!

















Sunday, June 16, 2019

35 yo Comox Campbell River Courtenay

I’ve been hard on administrators and bureaucrats. It’s obviously not totally fair. There was a time when they were lowly paid and highly honorable. In recent years their union has caused them to be paid the highest in the land. Unfortunately their training and competence have not increased.

My father didn’t respect Unions.  He felt they served the workers well and believed in the need for this given the history of management. No one with Scottish Irish roots can trust overlords.  I remind people that the English were more than willing to tax the Scots and Irish to death by demanding all their potatoes each harvest without consideration of how the subjugated people would survive.  The phrase ‘hide the potatoes’ followed because people who were highly cooperative eventually overthrew their masters because they simply had to have potatoes.

Now in Campbell River there was a terrific hospital administrator.  There were wonderful doctors on the north island in general too. The Campbell River Hospital wanted a day hospital for the psychiatric patients in their regions and north of them.  The psychiatrist in Comox along with that administration had made Comox the ‘regional psychiatric hospital’ so was intent on getting all the resources.  The Comox psychiatrist was in league with the local NDP politician. They had some nefarious arrangement.  Lots of backrooms in politics. Lots of glad hands and slippery hands.  All about dominance and control and not about what was needed most in the communities. Campbell River was a boom town and simply need psychiatric services the most. 

In Campbell River to get a Day Hospital, they needed a psychiatrist. This terrific administrator with a group of dedicated doctors and wonderful townspeople truly caring for the needs of the community askedme , when I made the mistake of not moving there full time, if I would come up a couple of days a week so they get the Day Hospital. I loved meeting with these people and working with this great administrator to bring the resources and people to bear to get the Campbell River Psychiatric Day Hospital.  It was such a totally different atmosphere than the Byzantine cloak and dagger administration my colleague had working in Comox. Everyone in Campbell River was transparent and concerned not looking for power or a personal kick back for themselves. It all went well and we got the day hospital with the help of Victoria administrators who acknowledged the need for the psychiatric patients in the day hospital.

I loved Campbell River. I loved the doctors there. I loved the youth and vitality in the town .I loved the fishing and hunting and logging.

I’d be hunting one day in the fall.  An older gentleman was sitting on the side of the road.  I stopped. He immediately asked me what I was looking for, “a deer of course.”  

‘What are you looking for?”  

“A doctor.”

“I’m a doctor, “ I said.

“Well I’ve got a deer. I may have had a heart attack trying to pull two out. They must have been twins.  One stood up and I shot it. Then it stood up again and I shot it again.  When I got to where I shot them I had two identical deer.   I pulled the first one out but when I began pulling the second out I had chest pain.  If you’d pull them out for me I’d gladly give you one.’

That’s how a friendship of 25 years began. I checked him over and concluded he may well have had a mild MI.  He was over it now.  I had him rest and went where he pointed. Sure enough there was a two point deer at the base of the hill. I pulled that out to the road and left it with him.  Then I climbed up the hill and found an identical two point deer. What was amazing was that both gunshot wounds were indentically placed in the heart. incredible shooting. That’s what I’d learn too. My new friend, Bill Mewhort, was an incredible marksman. 

I got the deer down and got his truck round and loaded one deer on his truck and the other on my truck then followed him back to Campbell River where I unloaded his deer and made sure he went to the hospital. I left him there. Sure enough he’d had a minor MI.  It wouldn’t bother him again.  But it began this great friendship . AFter my father and brother Bill became the man who taught me the most about hunting and fishing. He’d once been a guide and now worked in the mill.

I’d be working 5 to 6 days a week with a 20 bed hospital ward and a full private practice I shared with my colleague.  The longer I knew him the more I knew that everything he did was purely self serving. He’d pressured me to stay in Comox over Campbell River because he rented me my office. Always about the money.  Always about control and manipulation.  He actually ‘gas lighted’ people. I’d learn from the other specialists who I got along with that whenever anyone had a problem with him in town a week later they’d get a call from the College saying there was a report that they’d might be doing cocaine. Several of  the specialists concluded that the person making the false allegations was this psychiatrist.  None of them were doing cocaine but a person who could manipulate ‘gossip’ in a small town was a powerful person. Meanwhile whenever his wife was out of town there was a loose woman coming to see him late at night in the office after he’d dismissed his secretary. I’d come to pick up files from the office and be surprised that he was always seeing some pretty older woman alone at late hours.  There were several of these women.  His wife was away a lot.  A very cold arrangement.  Very peculiar behaviour. Lots of nastiness. I’d quickly learned he was a ‘backstabber’ of the first order. Highly duplicitous, saying one thing to me and another thing to staff and directors.  

When I first came on the ward I admitted an anorexic girl. A very pretty teenager.  I came back to the ward an hour later and suddenly found a literal party going on. My colleague was to be away for a week and he’d left the ward full of all these apparently healthy young and middle aged men who were suddenly very frisky with the arrival of the girl.  I was instantly suspicious about the diagnosis and treatment, reviewed the half dozen men and found they were not ‘depressed’ but rather all malingerers and drunks. I changed the diagnosis from Bipolar II to alcoholism on all of them. I saw no drug and alcohol histories were being taken by my colleagues.  The men were at first quite  the braggarts about their drinking and drugging. No wonder they were depressed. They were all hung over and had all been on a bender.

Now there was 20 bed alcohol detox and drug treatment in town. I visitted it. It was empty.  All the drunks and drug addicts were being admitted to the psychiatry hospital. That changed then. Those 6 guys ended up in the detox. Another  fifty followed along with them after I corrected all the diagnosis.   Overnight the ward changed from a belligerent entitled hang over ward to a regular psychiatry ward. Simply taking a proper history disclosed the long standing problems.  The town had a lot of drunks and addicts working in the mills and logging industry.  My colleague had been ‘enabling’.  

What was even more interesting is that the “designated addiction gp’ (no official training, just took the job for the money and status) became angry at me because he suddenly had a full unit and it remained that way. 

“All I can do now is take care of drunks.”

“That’s what your detox unit is” I said. 

“But it’s never had patients before. I had a great thing going here till you came.’’ He actually laughed. 

He’d actually be pissed for a while then he really got on board and the detox and treatment unit began to function the way it should.

A number of older women with depression and a group of parents whose children had schizophrenia approached me thanking me for what I’d done.

“I was afraid to be admitted to the psychiatry unit because of all those bad men.....I’d be suicidal at home rather than come to the hospital. “

“We couldn’t see our daughters and sons admitted there because it was always the drunks and the drug dealers living there.’

The head nurse was figuratively in bed with my colleague but a number of other nurses told me  how  the ward had been functioning at. I couldn’t have been there more than a month or two before the amazing public health nurse approached me and thanked me for sorting out he psychiatric unit because she now had a place to send psychiatry patients.

The joke was always ,”You don’t have an alcohol problem if you’re not drinking more than your doctor.’  

The psychiatrist called himself a ‘wine connosieur.’. I was happy to drink and smoke dope but it never changed my diagnostic acumen. 

He’d been a social worker before becoming a psychiatrist.

I’d meet other psychiatrists who had worked in Comox and got a whole lot of ‘skinny’ on the man.  One psychiatrist, a marvellous old scotch drinking English fellow said, “Couldn’t stand the fool. Loved to read the latest counselling book and talk like an authority but didn’t seem to know any medicine and less psychiatry.  Prancing about with his NDP politician friends.  Called me a drunk because I liked a scotch but I never saw him without a bottle of wine.”   This fellow was a Liberal and had left the community for the city in the south. .

“I left because it was clear he was going to kill someone and try to blame it on me. Always looking over my back when I worked there.” Another fellow told me. “ When I came there , there were a half dozen of us but one after another he ran us out of the town.  The worst was the child psychiatrist. Born there. Wanted to work there because his family was there. Top doctor. But smart. Met with us and took the measure of him and came to work in Victoria instead.  Truly great psychiatrist. That happened over and over. Watch your back. Greatest area but odd town.  Courtenay is like any other rural community. Lots of the farmers and long standing people that lived there for generations. Then there’s that other places with more pubs than churches. Comox meanwhile has been the place where the Ottawa bureaurcrats who did as they were told retire and now suddenly believe they can think for themselves. They can’t but the politics is crazy. The military base is there and those folk often retire. Nothing wrong with them. And lots of leaders in the resource community. But this guy is in with the NDP and frankly they’re mostly communists.  I’m a Liberal myself. Part of the reason I left.  Too much politics and in breeding and this social worker flunky trying to stir up trouble anyway he could. Watch your back. He’s a liar.”

I’d become the Vice President of Psychiatrists of the British Columbia Medical Association on the Island and really enjoyed meeting with my colleagues once a month in Victoria.  I’d take the time to drive down for my sanity.  They were truly an amazing group of the finest psychiatrists. They had a monthly dinner but the real treat was talking with them after the meetings and just getting together with some of the wisest and finest physicians and psychiatrists I’d ever know.  Many of them had worked the north Isldand before coming south. There was a nother great group of psychiatrists working in Nanaimo who I came to really admire and enjoy.  

I was staying in the Anglican Church manse which I rents. . A few months later I’d have my windows shot out. 22 rifle. Someone plunking at the windows from across the street.  Beer bottles would routinely be smashed at my door. 

My gorgeous nurse girlfriend came up to visit and she was stunning. She still was considering joining me yet her car window was broken and beer cans piled inside. She was afraid and didn’t like what I told her.  Of course she wanted me to come back to Vancouver.

I had bought a Ford Broncho II and began my love affair with hiking and camping in the woods Emily Carr made famous. Every weekend off I was out in the woods. I got a dog too. Life was good. Work was scarey. I kept diagnosing alcoholism and kept having threats. Guys would phone me at night and threatened to kill me, say how they’d had me in their sights and tell me where I’d been camping.  

I had a Browning 30:06 and a 22 rifle and added a smooth Bore Defender shot gun. I slept with that. I’d also begun to collect poisonous plants and dry them and keep them in jars in the basement. I loved botany.  

I met an old farmer and he had a freezer full of marijauna. He gave me a couple of pounds of his throw away.  I began smoking pot and drinking red wine at night, writing. I had cats too.  I lived behind a grave yard and walked the dog there at night. It was a peculiar existence.

The first girl I went out was a a cowgirl country western singer. I’d been asked to speak on the television doing a half hour on eating disorders and then on fashion and women and how fashion hurts women. I’d been asked to be the speaker at a dinner for the ecumenical churches function and enjoyed the people. I was going to each different church rotating through them. I made a great alliance with a nun who also did counseling.  The cowgirl would turn out to be a story I wrote about because it was so country strange. 

I’d refer patients to the local counsellors and this worked well except a few of them were crazier than the patients I referred. One man came back to me for his antidepressant medication and asked if he had to continues to see the counsellors.  I asked him what was the problem.

“I don’t like stripped naked with him and the two of flailing each other with whips. It makes me more depressed.” 

I contacted this local powerful famous counsellors and discretely asked him about his ‘techniques’.  He alluded to this therapy and confirmed for me that my patient wasn’t psychotic though the counsellor might be. I didn’t refer any more patients to him.

The other bizarre seriously deranged counsellor was a friend of the psychiatrist and claimed every child she saw had been sexually abused. I’d end in court repeatedly over turning these weird diagnosis because her basis of this conclusion was  always esxtraordinary . The one that sticks out was the report. “The child played with the slinky toy in such a way as to be certain she’d been sexually abused by her father.”  

I’d learn there was a dirty industry going on in the town. Victim’s compensation would pay for counsellors to see women and children but only if they had been sexually abused. So this major conflict of interest drove this incompetent ladies diagnosis. Unfortunately being pretty and a friend of my colleagues it had worked well I came along and ruined the busiensss by repeatedless saying I found no evidence for sexual abuse. By property examining the children and parents I’d changed a least a hundred of this diagnosis and make a arch enemy of this counsellor. 

My friend Marion, an actual PHD psychologist was delighted because she’d seen these politically and financially motivated diagnosis occurring to the detriment of children and families.  Further my friend Anne was the social worker and truly delighted that someone finally stopped this particular counsellor whose family unfortunately had money and were prominent in the local NDP.

Anne , a regular Anne Margaret/ Audrey Hepburn social worker and Marion , the local Joni Mitchel. Judy Collins psychologist were working in mental health north island, had invited me out for lunch shortly after my arrival.   I was blessed to meet two of the brightest most extraordinary women and therapists who’d become my life long friends.  

My friend from university who’d married a biker drug dealer and paid lawyers hundreds of thousands to keep him out of jail when he was caught was also working on the island in the south. I told her husband about my windows being shot out and how great the hunting was . This lead to a half dozen guys arriving one night on Harley’s engine rumbling, driving around the town,  each carrying a rifle either in a scabbard or across the Bars. Another guy brought up a truck. We’d use my Broncho II and the truck to head out into the woods the next morning. The guys got a couple of deer.

More importantly I slept fitfully for the first time in months.  Surrounded by friends with guns, thankful they’d made a circle of the town and now I had a half dozen Harley’s in front of the church manse, I felt ‘safe’.  Never again would there be beer bottles smashed on my doorsteps and no longer would people plunk at my windows with a 22 rifle. 

Thanks to Bill I had a deer to share. I’d butchered it my self and began my life long love of cooking wild meat.  The guys loved the barbecued steaks.  
I was really enjoying northern and rural medicine. 

My nurse broke it off and I continued to love the country.  I loved my time in Campbell River and enjoyed my private practice but the hospital was just politics and trouble. Whenever I went away I found my colleague changed my orders. He was a classic ‘passive aggressive’ little shit and was constantly politicking.  Constantly smiling to your face.  

Meanwhile I was playing a lot of guitar.My budgies were killed by the cat.  My first dog, a rescue dog, a runner, escaped and was hit by a car running across the busy highway. HE died in my arms.

Shinto came into my life after that.  Shinto. Oh now I remember. I was told there was a puppy and I went out to Quadra Island to meet him.  Cross Irish Setter and Springer Spaniel. My secretary was a dog trainer and when I told her I was looking for a dog she was kind enough to put out feelers. My dad’s dogs had been springers and my brother’s setters.  Shinto was adorable.  I named him Shinto for the spiritual essence that Japanese believe pervades life.  I miss him this day.  What a wonderful dog he was.  The best companion and a great hunting dog. He went with me everywhere though he stayed at home when I went to work.  Life is great when a guy has a dog for a companion.

The doctors in Comox and Campbell River just continued to show themselves as really good clinicians and fine people.  I had the best referrals from them but my popularity made my colleague even more jealous.   A husband and wife team of GP’s were the best.  There was a brilliant Intensive Care internist. I’d shoot skeet with the specialists at the local gun club I’d join.   I was kayaking too so all my activities put me in contact with other doctors and showed that I was a real part of the rural northern community. By constraint my colleague did nothing in the community but drink wine and conspire with his NDP friend and see pretty single women patients late at night in his office.  

When winter came I’d begin down hill skiing at the near by slope. A great lodge and great fun.  Comox Campbell River is truly one of the most beautiful places in the world.  I’d date these amazing women there too. One nurse will forever remain in my heart. I just wasn’t mature enough to be the husband she deserved. I loved the local pharmacist, an elegant lady of a girl with exquisite sophisticated tastes.  Much too good for me. I was a bad boy and did’t see any real future. I wasn’t sure if I’d settle down.

I liked that the heads of the logging companies of Vancouver Island independently and collectively approached me and thanked me for what I’d done with getting the alcoholics in treatment.

“As along as your colleague called them Bipolar and refused to diagnose them as alcoholic , neither the union or management could do anything. There were a dozen of the worst and they caused us all a whole lot of grief. After you came the accident free days in North Vancouver  Island sky rocketed. Never underestimate what you’re doing. You’re really appreciated.”  That kind of praise certainly made me feel good. 

The word had really got around and my colleague felt threatened and hated me .  Repeatedly men and women I’d meet in church or at the hunting club would tell me “Thank you for what you did. I worried every day my husband went to work. It’s a dangerous enough job but with drunks running cranes and driving the big trucks it was a nightmare.  Now he says the place is sane and the bad boys have all gone off for drug and alcohol treatment.”

Nobody worried much about marijuana. It was a principle industry and it didn’t cause the problems that alcohol and cocaine caused in the workplace.  

“I was terrified working but you got the crane operator in treatment. I thought those guys were going to kill you. They all talked about killing you.”

My friend in the mill told me I’d been targeted.  

Yet 6 months later all these guy were either sober and attending AA or had been fired and left the community. Since my biker friends had driven through the town with guns no one had bothered me again.  

The beauty of industry is once there’s a diagnosis they really work with the union to keep you working but sober not drunk.  Apparently my little ‘community medicine’ intervention had it’s pay off. The public health nurse assured me I’d made a lot of difference in a very short period of time. “But that’s because you care about medicine and the town. I  guess you know your colleague is a different sort.”  It would later come out that his family had some criminal tendencies with his lying and the family lying issues actually getting front page. I thought it explained his friendship with the snake politicians.  But then that was a problem with the community all these eastern bureaucrats wheeling and dealing.

The drug abuse and adolescent crime were an issue so I tried to get a skate board area for the kids. I was working with the police and public health and damned if the town council wasn’t a group of these recycled Ottawa sorts.  Painful to talk with them.  Every excuse and fear mongering and underhanded tactic known to a politician.  Meanwhile the kids literally had nothing to do and nowhere to hang out.  

It’s amazing what I remember. Every day I ‘m seeing dozens of patients and doing all this regular medicine. Highlights are just that. Things that stick out. They’re unusual. We simply remember the greats and the ugly.  

I’d been having these fabulous visits with Marion in Parksville, her family, young kids and noise and dogs and just all round country living a blessing. I’d be driving through the most beautiful forest in the world to do out reach psychiatry with a great old English doctor with an amazing moustache. I’d see these unusual cases only found in the wilderness and at the end of the earth.  Vancouver Island was just that sort of place. People moved all across CAnada and crazy smacked up against the ocean, having no place further to escape so stayed on the west coast. 

There was a town of in bred folk left over from a commune at the turn of the century.I spotted  the too close eyes and low slung ears, something twigged me in my pattern recognition so I  asked around and explored the history. Sure enough fifty  years previously this bit of today’s paradise had be the place of Deliverance.  A crazy American had come north with his flock.  His commune died but some of the incest survivors stayed to live in this area. Another hippy commune continued to function. 

We had a lot  of hermits and villages that worked on barter and lived off the grid. I’d meet the finest people from the islands.

I’d love this genius who lived on an island I won’t name.  I’d got in with a group of ‘survivalists’ and met this truly extraordinary guy and his lovely wife one night. A folksinger or poet introduced us. He was in a cabin on the island raising small kids but had a computer and communications array that NASA would envy. Did a couple of PHD”s in engineering and computers before heading off the grid. Whenever I had problems with my computer I’d call him up, only a couple of times, he was not someone I’d want to lose as a friend. He’d take the whole thing over through the phone before this was being done and solve my ‘glych’ and go off the grid again.  He knew my friend in CSIS. They are a really tight circle.  

I was having increasing problems on the ward. I’d had a violent young borderline admitted and left specific orders that no one was to go into her room alone and that security should always be on hand with her for her sake. . She was a tiny waif of a thing but totally paranoid and incredibly sneaky. Turn your back and she hit you. You had  to count all the cutlery and not even leave plastic with her. She responded well to medication but it took time. It was awful. There were some nurses who were less than stirling and they used this poor thing to get time off. She was so weak she couldn’t hurt anyone but within a week a half dozen of the less that stirling nurses, drinking friends of the other pscyhiatrist and the head nurse were off on extended leave for being ‘hurt’ in the workplace. They ‘milked’ weeks. The tragedy is this little girl then had to be moved to the ‘state asylum’.  She’d be there a year. She got the reputation of being violent. I’d meet up with the poor thing year later, a not atypical story of the abuse that schizophrenic encounter. . 

I hated those nurses. 

There was one bully past her shelf life, quite the dog in her 40’s and I admitted this hermit farmer from up island.He was depressed and suicidal but came with a million dollars in big denominations in paper bags. He’d been storing them under his bed and knew he needed to come to hospital and was afraid it would be stolen.I admitted this guy with these shopping bags full of hundred dollar bills. Apparently this was his ‘cash’ and that he had much more in land and banks.

He was almost melancholic.  That night this ugly cunt climbed into his bed.  Days later he was better. A week later he was married. I objected vociferously when I heard he’d been literally sexually assaulted by a nurse in the hospital. The nurses coulnd’t understand or accept my reaction to this obvious gold digger. Apparently a couple of the nurses were upset that the bitch had beat them to it.

When I raised the issue with the head of the hospital she being catholic thought there was no problem. Marriage made everything right. The nurse was catholic.  My dirty minded colleague thought I was being ridiculous and that a wife would either cure him or give him something to be depressed about. He was obvious depressed with his marriage and simply lacked ethics and morality.  A difficult man to work with.

A very blizarre psychiatry unit. 

I’ve always regretted I didn’t go to Campbell River where I’d have come under the influence of the great doctor in AA but then I’d not have had the equally joyful time of meeting the incredible nurses, pharmacists, gps, specialists, and psychologists and other people I had the joy to work with. Always the good people outnumbered the bad 10 to one but evil flourishes because no one dares confront it.  Never my problem always my curse. 

 The head of the local mental health was said by his staff to be sleeping with young women. There were several police and politicians involved in the drug trade and all manner of nefarious real estate and construction being done for cash. British Columbia did billions of dollars in the illegal marijuania industry and I was near it’s epicentre. 

 I was really out of my depth. I even befriended a hell’s angel that year becuse the courts were denying him access to his son.  Angel Acres , the major Hell’s angel gathering place was in Parksille an hour south of Comox. My patient  was a criminal but a good dad and a good guy. We fished and hunted together one weekend when a non patch wearing mutual friend introduced us.  He had more ethical and moral development on a personal level than my colleague.  He was a part of a wolf pack though and his wife an ex prostitute heroin addicted  was ruining his son.  So there I was in court defending him as a father. I’d do a lot of that. But I’d also liked the local judge who was amazingly apolitical and a great man. We’d have coffee together and get to know each other and talk about the town.  I have been truly blessed to meet the finest judges with rare exception. This guy rode a Harley too which enamoured him to me. 

He told me 

“The problem with the child custody in the north was all the guys were away in camps. The women didn’t have anything to do.They longed to be in the big city. So they’d dump the guy and take their kids to the city. The guy would have to pay child support but could never make the same amount of money in the south that he madein the north. He was literally stuck here and she was being a party girl down in the city.  When ever these cases came before  me 200 women from the community would be mustered to sit in the court intimidating me and the guys were always stuck in the camps because her lawyers always knew how to play the systems. The women have a better family law school among themselves than any offered by a university.  It’s awful but I can’t really do anything. When you give me a report saying the guys sane it helps but the system is flawed. Eventually it will change. The law gets it right but there’s always a delay and right now the children and family are suffering.”

I loved North Vancouver Island. I am pleased today that there are a half dozen or more psychiatrists up there. The people were great and deserved good medical care and not to have a little shit making a fiefdom for himself.  I am thankful to say that while I didn’t stay, though I’d return, his ‘monopoly’ was broken and his lies exposed. I’d learn later that the College Registrar was thankful for what he called ‘Dr. Hay’s reconnaissance.”  It didn’t help me. I returned to the city probably even more paranoid. But I had a collection of great memories, great friends and would be blessed for life by the experience and friends I made.  

Last I heard the other psychiatrist was dead.  The NDP was replaced by either the Liberals or Green.  Life moved on.  

I really loved the nun chaplain and did great grief work with her. A military major introduced me to the amazing knife maker on Quadra Island. I still have the knife he made for me and have butchered many moose and deer with that superb blade. The natives introduced me to the extraordinary native museum there. While I’d studied anthropology of the aboriginals and continued to read, it was here that I’d begin to learn a lot about the Kwakiutl and Haida. All the time I’d be visiting with Bill and his family. His son was a great boy who became a great man.His daughter was a beautiful school teacher who’d I’d gladly of dated but I knew by then her father was the most amazing long distance rifle shooter.

A martial artist had come to the mill and Bill told me he was bothering the other men always bragging about how he could kill people with his hands or  a kick,  Bill said he his  black belt. Bill said “because it was ruining the lunch room atmosphere I had to lean over and tell the guy, “you’d better tone it down. I can hit a silver dollar at a mile with my rifle but there’s several other younger guys here who are better shots than me and they can hit a dime at a mile. So I’d quiet down about what you can do with your martial arts up close. You’d never reach these other guys who aren’t as old and civilized as I am.”  







Saturday, June 8, 2019

31 yo Churchill,canoing, polar bear, hunting, Jack Hildes, Northern Medical Unit,

Maureen had made a unilateral decision to continue on in Pediatrics. She felt that I’d betrayed her by leaving surgery. She certainly had no plans for country medicine or going to Africa. With my being away so much she’d consolidated her plans to be a pediatrician and have a practice with his twin sister.  This had been there longer standing dream.  She was a feminist. Her family had been communist. She called herself agnostic and wasn’t even sure she wasn’t an aetheist.  She loved nature.

She was going to be a pediatrician and we were going love in the city. I certainly was rethinking my future. Every doctor I knew was having trouble with the administration in the city. No beds, rationing resources. I was headed north and enrolled in a community medicine fellowship.

We lived to canoe and cross country ski back in those days. My fondest memories of Manitoba are canoeing.  Taking others along with us to camp in the northern wilderness was my joy.  I loved tenting. I loved the campfire. I loved barbecuing steaks over an open fire. I loved boiling potatoes and making bacon and eggs on the Coleman camp stove.  I’d done the Winnipeg River white water canoeing with my friend Jon.  

At graduation we’d decided as a group of doctors to go white water canoeing. There were 4 of us, 2 canoes, ice on the water. I’d save the life of one of the guys when their canoe flipped in the rocks and rapids. He popped out at the bottom and we rushed to him. His mate made shore but he was struggling.I caught him and pulled him in. I got a fire going immediately and we had his clothes off and a towel around him.

“I’ll give you anything for a fire,’ he kept saying between chattering teeth.

We’d had our California friends come up for a week of canoeing. My brother had a cabin in lake of the woods, a classic A frame with a lovely wood veranda.  We began and ended our trek there. I liked portaging out of the main lakes where there were power boats into these secluded quiet lakes where only a loon’s call broke the silence.  We saw bear and raccoon and lots of swans and ducks and geese. Otters and beaver along the side of the lakes. I caught pike from the rocks casting. We skinny dipped. The girls were beyond playboy.  Such beautiful young women. We were all so healthy and athletic and vigorous. It was so much frolicking fun. At night we’d make love in the tent night bird and animals sounds coming from the woods to join our sounds.

A young bear poked it’s nose  into the tent in the middle of the night pushing the mosquito netting before him. I woke to the sound, Maureen sleeping beside me. On one elbow I used all my might to punch him right in the nose.  Bear are sensitive there. He backtracked and was gone in a minute. Maureen stirred at the sound. 

“What was that?” 

“Squirrels’.

We’d been woken by squirrels jumping on the tent before.  She went back to sleep.  I never told her about the bear.

Miles was a writer and editor I’d get together with him for one of our writer’s circles. 

Previously I’d met with these two girls and a fellow who’d go on to be on the Canada Council for literature.  We’ meet every few weeks and each read stories and poetry.  The beautiful talented sisters had set that one up.

Later I’d meet with Miles and a couple of others. We’d have beers while Miles did his laundry, the pub stratigically attached to a laundry, favourite place of the young men.  The rule was the person who had the best rejection slips had his beer bought by the group. Miles got his rejection from New Yorker and we were impressed. I was rejected by Playboy and Reader’s Digest.  When ‘feminist’ Margaret Atwood claimed she had nothing to do about her ‘feminist’ writing appearing in Playboy all the writer’s laughed uproariously. Everyone knew that Playboy paid the most in the industry which was why more starving writers tried to get published in Playboy than any other journal.  Margaret Atwood was an artist but Like Suzuki she always had her eye on the money. 

Some artists like money a whole lot. Others’ not so much. Margaret Atwood has always liked money a whole lot.  Nothing wrong with it. But really, “I was a victim of my agent. He made me publish in Playboy.”  Classic feminist. Whining Gloria Steinem shit.My female doctor friend loathed them, “rich privileged white girls who don’t have enough at the top they need to steel the limelight from the bottom claiming they’re victims too. I hate feminists.”

“Margaret Atwood had started out at a great writer.  We all so admired until  she became a propagandist.  A bit like the city Toronto. Once a lovely place, now as corrupt and urban as New York and LA.” One of the guys in our writer’s circle critiqued.  

Meanwhile we were drinking cheap beer in a pub attached to a laundromat. Dissecting writers and writing was a a great time. Miles was  funniest man alive. Droll. .  He was a friend of Franks.  Frank was the doctor who assisted surgery. He’d be one of several people who’d meet at the dinner parties that Maureen and I had at our place.

We had bought the new house. 

“It’s a good house. The roof and wiring are good. The foundation is solid.” Dad had approved. 

It was a bungalow on Oxford in Riverheights.  We’d love it. I had the hard wood floors installed that I love so much.  Several houses later I’ve always had hard wood floors.  We had a friend Gord who did fine wood work. We loved his wood furniture, clean simple lines. I loved wood. Gord was a master. Like my friend today Nick. I often wished I’d stayed a carpenter. I sometimes dream of having a studio and just making furniture. Nothing could be more joyful.. I love the smell of wood. I love the grains.  I love wood. I’ll bet Jesus wished he’d stayed a carpenter. 

So Gords’ cabinets and tables adorned our new house. We’d order a piece and wait patiently.  The table was a masterpiece. Oak and long and sweet.  Maureen ,thanks to our California friends mostly ,developed a sophisticated taste for interior design. It became increasingly a problem because I was excluded from her equations.

“It’s a pink house, Bill. She has you in a pink house. You don’t belong in a pink house. She wants to castrate you and hang you on the basement walls.” My friend told me.

My friends talked to me like that.  I felt bull dozed on lots of decisions about the decor of the house. I loved the foundation and roofing and wiring and all the solid stuff but then there’d be these pink walls.

“They’re peach.” She exclaimed.  

“Can you get rid of those pictures.” She demanded. 

The pictures she referred to were a picture of a polar bear and three cubs eating a seal. I’d walked up to it with a regular camera and taken the picture at 10 feet. It was used by the Manitoba government for a travel brochure. Polar bears rarely have three cubs. The mother earlier in the day had chased me when I was out bird watching looking for the famed Ross Gull. Because a biologist had been studying the polar bear with three cubs he saw the Cub take an interest in me and the mother following as I was backing away certain I was dead. Like Evil Keneeval this guy on his motorcycle had charged down the coast leaping boulders and come along side me.

“Get on!” He screamed. I didn’t need to be asked twice. I literally leaped on as the bear broke from a walk to a charge almost catching us on the sand where traction was not so good. . I swear I felt her hot breath on my neck. Later that day I’d find her and her cubs eating the seal. Trusting she was preoccupied with dinner and the kids I got up close and took the greatest wildlife picture of my life. 

The other was a beluga whale.  I got that up close from a dinghy at high speed in the Arctic Ocean. The other was a bull moose I’d chased through the marsh on our trip to Yellowstone Park.  He’d stood 10 feet from me and I’d got the picture. I’d escaped one charge before to get that picture. 

“They don’t belong in the house. You can put them in the basement. I don’t like all the wildness.”

I remember calling my dad up after that. Her tone of voice, superior, judgemental and dismissive got in my craw. I mostly just did as she told me. Best not to argue with her.  My Dad had invited me hunting with him. 

“Adell doesn’t let Ron come hunting since she had the babies. She’s quite the little mother that one.” He’d say. 

He was still duck hunting and wanted me to come along. Mom was glad I’d finally agreed to go because he’d be safer and we’d really have the time of our lives. I also figured if Maureen was going to object to pictures of wildlife I might as well get back to killing. There was no compromise with her. I decided then to draw a line in the sand. Granddad hunted, Dad hunted. Ron had hunted. We were all birdwatchers and loved wildlife. But if pictures of wildlife offended her suddenly I was not giving any more ground. 

I felt that my wife was becoming impossible. Everything was a matter of ‘give an inch and then she’d take a mile.’ There was no compromise. She was just inexorably moving me to the basement.  I was always wrong. She was always right. She would only know set backs but she never changed her mind. I know today that’s classic alcoholic family business but then it was just royally annoying. Impossible to live with.  

I liked that we’d have dinner parties and people would ask about the pictures and I’d get to share ‘my stories’ about the north.  After we bought the house with the money I made working as a general practitioner and flying each week to the north while she was doing a residency I’d like to talk about those northern trips.  I was writing stories for the Medical Post about being a fly in doctor in Northern Manitoba and Northern Ontario. 

“My mother calls you a throw back.  No one wants to hear about polar bears coming into in hospitals or you going down white water rivers with a bunch of stupid doctors.  Grow up. People want to talk about the theatre.  My friends don’t want to hear about what you’re doing . We like to discuss  food and fashion. You’re a bore.  Everything you do is so juvenile.  I don’t want those wild pictures of bear in my sight. It upsets me and it upsets my friends.”

The only one who was ever upset was her mother. 

Dad and I borrowed my brothers Irish setter Tartan. He’d a couple of rug rats who ‘d grow up to be my great nephews. At the time they were in diapers doing that high speed crab routine across the floor to attack the dogs. Tartan loved being a baby body guard but when Dad and I showed up to take him hunting he was in dog heaven.

So we all drove to the marsh with Dad’s truck. He laughed at me because I shot a mallard and Tartan thought the water too cold. So I undressed to my skivvies and swam out to retreive the duck with Tartan swimming beside me and my Dad laughing on the shore hands on his need hardly able to get a breath.  I swam back and Tartan accompanied me. He thought this was a great sport but when it came to him fetching the birds on his own he would always look to me wanting  ‘us’ to do the fetching together.  I’ve fetched birds a couple of times to get the dog going but it’s not my main duty. Fall marshes and rivers are freezing. 

When we had a half dozen ducks each we came home. Tartan who had endless energy was surprisingly mellow. He’d had the day of his life and would love his future breaks from baby sitting duty. He loved the nephews but days off with Dad and me were the best. Rainy the female setter was just as happy to stay home with her hairless puppies.

I brought the ducks in and deposited them on the table my friend Gord had made and I’d bought.  

“Get them out of the house.” She screamed. It was overly dramatic to deposit them on the dining room table. We’d always pluck them outside before bringing them in. I was making a statement. 

“I shot them.” I said. 

“I don’t care if you shot them. They don’t belong in a civilized home.”

“I’m going to pluck them and eat them.” 

“I’m not.” 

So I plucked them in the back yard. I had my friends over for roast duck and I was the ‘hit’ and she was angry, slow simmering angry.  Meanwhile my friends had never had wild duck and being connoseiurs truly loved the experience.  They laughed too when I told them about Tartan, my father laughing and me swimming with Tartan to fetch the duck.  

I’d love making salads, soups and stews  and anything that required chopping in the day. Gord had made us a great kitchen with opening to the dining room. I loved our cabinets .I loved the counter . I loved cooking.  Maureen liked to make the entre. She loved the praise. The girls competed with their dinners.  She had a French recipe book and we’d have sole in white wine and other dishes . I’d do the turkeys and roasts. The wine cabinet came and went. Dinners were ribald affairs with lots of wine and liqueurs and great story tellers. Paul my ex brother in law was a great artist. I had his photographs on the wall. His black and white of the opening of Rocky Horror Picture show would become iconoclastic.  Frank would tell of the politics of the day. His family had escaped Checkoslovakia and he really knew his politics. Things he said thirty years ago have all told true.

“The communists just want control of the world. They’re into power and dominance. They’re a dictatorship really. A gang mentality. They were so angry when the ‘workers unite’ didn’t work. They actually thought all the workers of the world would rise up and want them to lead.  IT was a major disappointment . So now they’re into saving the planet. They’re trying to re tool to be environmentalists and say ‘planet lovers unite’ so they can get control and have all the power and money and be the dictators.  I don’t think they’re going to get people to buy into their save the spotted owl and the planet’s dying spiel but that’s their plan. They’re do anything for power and greed. The left is all about dictatorship but they never tell you that. You learn when you live under rule.“. 

I remember Frank telling us that back in the early 80’s .  The Latvians and White Russians had told me about the left killing hundreds of millions. It was Frank who told me the communists were retooling as environmentalists promoting fear so people would accept dictatorship. 

We sure laughed a lot though. The girls at those parties were always dressed well as we guys put on sports jackets. Genteel affairs.  Discussions of movies and books. Talk of medicine and rotations. 

I’d begun flying to Churchill.  I’d be up there a week or two at a time. The routine I’d eventually mainly be in was to fly Island Air to Island Lake and then from Island Lake take a bush plane to St. Theresa Point and Wasagamach. The bush planes were my taxi. Mostly I’d fly in the Cezna, single prop and sometimes the lovely Twin Otter. My favourite was the Dehavilland Beaver.   I’d eventually fly to a dozen other reserves and locations in the next couple of years. When I stopped flying north full time after one to two years I’d continue to make week long trips every month or two as a consultant.(  Later as a psychiatrist in BC and the Yukon I’d fly consults to Northern BC and the Indian Reserves upthere. Even later when I worked in the Northern Marianas Islands I’d fly consult trips to the little polynesisan islands.)

I delivered twins in Churchill. It was an Inuit lady. I delivered her 11th and 12th baby. We didn’t know about the 12th.  She was smiling through the delivery mostly.  She’d touch me ‘to reassure me’.  After the first baby was born I was acting like it was over but she smiled and wagged her finger at me and sure enough she delivered a second one. Then she smiled contented ly.  But despite the placenta being full out without any missing bits and the oxytocin going full out she was continuing to hemorrhage. She motioned me to come to her side then she took my hand and pushed it down on her belly motioning me to kneed her uterus in slow circular motions.  I was stimulating the uterus to close by expelling blood clots. She smiled after that and glowed when she had her two new babies on her chest. 

One day I was dog with a bone down his gullet. I was doing the veterinary work in the north suturing dogs after fights with wolves and now this bone.  My colleague , the anesthetist and I , decided the sigmoidoscope was the answer. We sigmoidoscoped the dog under anesthetic.  I operated the scope and my friend passed the gas. I never saw a bone but we must have dislodged it. The dog recovered but the hospital administrator didn’t.

He went  ballistic.

“You can’t used a human sigmoidoscope on a dog.” 

“Do you know what the sigmoidoscope is? “ My anesthetist colleague asked.  “It’s for the asshole. if anyone should complain it’s the dog!”

We d autoclave it so was good as new ffor human asshole.

I was dealing with major medical and surgical issues and administration was always up to it’s old tricks looking for irrelevancies and turning them into major issues. They always wanted to be the Center of attention and wanted to move the patients doctors and nurses right out to make the hospitals a perfect place for the cleaning staff  and themselves. They liked the x ray machine dusted and thought that was more important than the cardio pulmonary resuscitations we were doing a lot of . Diabetes was a big deal in this populations. I was being flown out to little reserves and once over to the Inuit on the islands in the bay of Churchill.

I’d write a lot about this in the Medical Post and other journals. I’d have time free in the evening and enjoy writing about the experiences.  It was a great time.  I’d come back home to Maureen and her mother and all the problems in her family, the older brother’s drunken divorce, the depressed communist intellectual brother in the mother’s basement not getting a job, her concerns about academics.  IT was okay but the north was exciting and home was not so. I had a lot of academic work in the city too formal community medicine courses and lots of reading. Maureen was doing the same. We weren’t going to the library but studying in the homestretch Gord’s table or in the second room we’d made into a library. 

I’d eventually build a small consultation therapy room in the basement and see patients there. Maureen was always worried about money. She didn’t do anything herself but complain and I worked three jobs making us rich by others standards.

I’d be attacked by dock workers in Churchill  and almost be killed .  6 of them. A little East Indian Internist who came up to the waist  of one would try to stop him kicking me.  Because I had martial arts experience and being a gymnast I actually ‘kipped’ to my feet and was upright ready to fight. The drunken thugs attacked the doctors and nurses in the north.They broke up the bars and lounges. But the judge would do nothing. He fined these guys who 6 on one tried to kill me.  

The nurses had taken me for a drink to thank me for all the good medicine I’d been doing, They really appreciated competence and I certainly was getting a reputation for that. The dockworkers told the judge ‘this guy had all these babes to himself and we figured if we got rid of him we’d get all the girls. ‘. The biggest guy  rabbit punched me. He’d sat down at the next table with his mates and were insulting the nurses so we just got up to go. No one had even spoken with them. I was standing to go and his well planned rabbit punch caught me completely unaware, lifting me, flying, like in cowboy movie, over the length of the 6 foot table, land ing on my back on the bar room floor. Then the six cowards swarmed me,  surrounding me, putting the boots to me. That’s when I saw the Lilliputian Indian internist jump on the back of the big guy to be swatted away like a fly. They were trying to kick me in the head but I was swivelling and taking the kicks in the kidneys. Probably the source of my later kidney bleeding episode. I’d protected my head but I was on my feet with a kip that shocked them especially as I came up with my fist dduking it out.  Seeing that little East Indian internist on the shoulders of this big bruiser was worth the flight through air. 

The police were outside and rushed in When I tried to hold one guy the police pulled me off, ‘we’re trying to help. If you touched him he could charge you with assault. Here these guys had tried to kill me or at least leave me a fork with a head injury and my touching one guy could get me charged with assault. Everyone in the town apologised to me but the judge seemed in league with the criminals.

My back sure hurt from kicks but I was glad I’d saved my head.  6 on 1 , these sociopaths had done this before and would do it again.  In another world I’d hoped I’d have hunted them down one one one and beat the shit out of them in the dark alone not letting them know who I was and giving them no warning.  I like karma and have volunteered for service in the great chain of karma in my time. 

This time I left it with the judge who took their excuse that they needed to let off steam saying they went out to ‘fuck or fight’ and only made them pay for my broken glasses., they’d ground under their boots. He also said doctors and nurses shouldn’t leave the hospital . 

 Most of the judges I’d work with would have some smarts but in the north it was evident they themselves were terrified. The RCMP were few and far between and frankly I just figured the judge was a coward who gave into the bullies to protect himself. Also he was jealous of doctors and nurses , the hospital being absolutely necessary while he was a pretty much an  accessory. Churchill was a Wild West town. The law happened then and there .Judges were always talking about distant yesterdays .  The dead piled up regardless of them.  Their presence was only a reminder there was this other world outside the community.  The natives and everyone else would pay back the dock workers.  That’s the way it worked. I knew you didn’t attack doctors 6 on 1 and hit nurses and get away with it. Inuit don’t like that. Cree don’t like that. I’d be surprised if the ring leader lived to finish that year. And maybe the judge knew that too. 

Judges are canny guys so while I was pissed at only having my glasses paid for and getting assaulted with no compensation, Churchill was a pretty great town with lots of great people and it grew so the law was doing a good job or that would n’t be true. The thing about the judges is that they had a more birds eye view of what was happening and generally did a good job with the extra insight. I was really for the RCMP especially in the north where they were the greatest allies. We knew the law was an ass but everyone worked together to maintain civilization in the wilderness.  I’d lived.  Maureen was angry and it would continue to be hard for the Northern Medical Unit to recruit people to the north because doctors and nurses other than me had suffered from the low life. 

It was dangerous back but decades later a young female doctor would go north and write about her experiences, it sure sounded a lot tamer and suburban, She didn’t get the RCMP riding the moose down the street having tried to cut its throat only to have it stand up with him then shooting himself in the thigh itch his revolver before shooting the moose really dead. Civilization just keeps spreading.

Indeed they’d not been able to recruit a Canadian doctor to the north despite 2 years of advertisements and major incentives.  Churchill befcause it was a hospital centre could get locums but not the nursing stations. Finally Jack got an Irish doctor and an English doctor to join me.  

We’d all do northern wilderness training making Igloos and Quincies and being stalked by polar bears. Thanks to my Irish colleague I’d drink a bottle of Bushmills Irish Whisky in an Igloo we’d made ourselves,with him and others singing Irish revolutionary songs in the arctic.  He’d go onto marry a beautiful Native princess.  I smile as I remember this time and those days. We were so young and it was so crazy.

I’d be in a couple of plane crashes too. The DC 3 flipped on its side landing crushing it’s wing.  I’d hang from my seat belt sideways in the plane till the ordeal ended. .

I’d be stalked and chased by polar bear more than once. Our skidoo would go through the ice on a mercy run. I’d write these stories up and see them published time and again. They really helped Jacks recruiting efforts. He asked me to make an album of pictures they’d use for recruitment. I’d do interviews like the television one I did for recruiting doctors to the country for CBC. 

The joke was that me walking along with stethescope and whit lab coat became favoured CBC stock footage so I’d hear from my parents who always watched the news that I’d been shown time and again where the doctor story was positive or negative. The trouble with being photogenic with an acting background. 

I’d have Indians try to kill me several times. “Kill the whitey. Kill the whitey” That’s a cry that sends chills through me especially if they’re shooting guns at me or chasing me with knives.   Running through reserves with drunken mobs chasing the doctor and the sober Indians trying to rescue me.  Drunks love their entertainment. 

Maureen didn’t like any of that.  We were growing more and more apart.

I had also arranged with Dr. Hildes that my years up north would be coupled with a Community Medicine Residency with Dr. French. So I’d be studying and taking classes when I wasn’t flying up north. I’d complete two years of Community Medicine as it was.  Thanks to that I studied all the Canadian health care acts and all the laws and all the statistics and did epidemiology, public health and social policy. Id’ complete a year of anthropology of aboriginal North America too.

 In Churchill I did two clinics and saw a hundred patietns a week. There were three of us doctors there. On the reserves though Jack wanted me to be solely a consultant. He said I must never see a patient without a nurse present because my role was to teach the nurses not do their work. HE was adamant about that because they’d be there alone without me around when I flew back to the city. Some reserves would only have a doctor once a month for a few days leaving the nurses alone the rest of the time . 

Some of the nurses didn’t like that because they wanted us doctors to do the clinics letting them have more holiday time. I showed them I could see fifty people in a morning and when they accompanied me to a remote reserve I’d see a hundred or more in the hours of daylight the planes could fly in but if they didn’t want to use me as a consultant I just sat studying community medicine texts while they did the well baby stuff. Teaching is always harder and slower. I’m a good enough teacher. Not terribly patient. Maureen was a great teacher, one of the best I’d ever know, We’d been blessed to have the best of teachers. But I only really liked to teach the keen. On my own I got things done efficiently and the way I liked them done.

I ‘d be on 24 hour call 7 days a week to radio phone.  I’d get these calls in the middle of the night and advise on emergencies.  It was all very exciting. The medicine and emergency decisions and calls were all very easy by now. I’d just become very experienced in a very short time. We used to say that a year of country medicine was like 5 years of city medicine. None of my urban colleagues had even done a spinal tap. I’d done literally dozens and dozens.  I’d diagnosed TB and syphilis and all manner of rare things plus the garden variety stuff. I was the only doctors thousands of people saw for years.  It was an immense responsibility but an incredible training experience. The best part was that Jack had such a great relationship with the university that everyone I called for advise took it as an honor to be helping the Northern Medical Unit. We were world reknowned. I was personally well known and well liked. I don’t think Maureen liked that. 

Maureen was always competing with me. I found women doing this and I didn’t compete with women.  It was always a no win game for men. But I didn’t compete so much as compete against myself and increasingly clinically just want to get the job done and save a life. I was way out of the academic political scene and she was in it big time, Her family were that way and my family wasn’t. At the university hospital everyone was still comparing and competing. 

I had this high status simply because I was working with Jack HIldes and the Northern Medical Unit. I was publishing my stories across the country and was known. Maureen was being a good pediatrican and academic. I was on tv and in the public eye and she was doing what she said she wanted to do work in the hospital. I was a shining light. She was a star.  I was never ‘jealous’ of her but she would make these weird comparisons. She’d always knock what I was doing. I never put her work down. I always celebrated her achievements but she was always negating anything I did.  Constant back stabbing belittling and comparison. It was painful.  Always low key and always insinuating. 

 She was never interested in sex anymore. Claimed she was always tired. But never too tired for listening to her mothers ad infinity calls. She was always so depressed after that. The woman could have sucked the soul out of Mary. Maureen was depressed a lot with her father drinking heavily and her parents physically fighting and her mother always emotionally extorting Maureen,

I’d be between her legs for years before she’d let me mount and then she’d get upset she was ‘messy’.  Sperm was ‘messy’. And she’d not talk about having children. She even suggested adopting but ‘why adopt’.  “I’d like us to have kids”.  Her sister and her husband were Christians and family was more important. She was into feminism and always angry. Before her mother and Pediatrics she’d been this wonderfully happy wild person who loved sex. Now it was work except when we’d get away from her mother spend some time holidaying together then the marriage would come back, the chronically demanding depressed angry mother wouldn’t be there and we have love and sex and laughter. I so envied her sister and her husband getting away from the drunken angry home with all the drama. 

I loved the north. I loved being ‘necessary’. I loved ‘service’. I loved the adventure.  I’d go through the ice on a ski doo and walked 10 miles wet and frozen with polar bear stalking us and my ski doo driver saying. 

“I don’t like the look of that brute but don’t run or they’ll be on us.” 

“I cant’ run. My clothes are frozen from the water.”  He laughed at that. 

We laughed and sure were glad to get the village when the polar bears veered off and left us. I saved the life of a child there. An old man had had a stroke and I could take care of him too. It was so fulfilling to know that feeling of being ‘necessary’.  In the north it wasn’t about being the very best doctor, I was good, but it was about being there. They just needed people who cared about them. No one did. It was terrifying at time.  The drunken Indian chasing me about the emergency with an axe.  These aren’t the things that make people want to be a northern doctor. But we all cared. There was this amazing young woman doctor  who was brilliant and she just loved the ‘medicine’. “Where else can I see al the stages of tuberculosis.  I can’t work in the south. It’s too boring. Here I’m seeing everything. Here I’m right in the centre of medicine. “ She was the old 19th century doctor who loved to diagnose and treat and she was amazing. I loved working with her. After Churchill she went even further north to work with the Inuit. 

It was great times. I was early days. Lots of people would follow.  Jack Hildes opened the door. Now there’s lots going north but it was 2 years before they could get me and they had to take an Irish and an English doctor before years later they’d get more Canadians willing to go north.  

I loved it. I’d always jump to serve ‘where the greatest need was’. There’s so much fulfillment and the other people working there are there because like you they’re a bit ‘touched’.