Thank you that I have water. Yesterday I backed the trailer into the water hose post catching the hose on the trailer and pulling off the top causing an unstoppable geyser requiring public works to be called. She was sitting beside there and didn’t call to tell me I was going to hit something. I couldn’t see it in the mirrors. I’m no good at backing up and relied on her there to help. « I didn’t know what you were doing , » she said, « I couldn’t see. »
I was blaming and upset. Another expense I thought. I could pay but equipment costs too much to maintain. I did damage my last trip out also backing up the trailer. There are problems in design of the equipment. I’ve asked for help and been brushed off. It’s the story of my life these days. Aging. I express concerns and they’re brushed off. I aware of death.
Thank you for this day again. I’m glad to be alive.
Yesterday I got lost in the back woods driving my quad. I took a left turn thinking it would lead to Jura, It eventually lead to Eris. But I’d started to secondary main looking logging road only to have it descend into a rock strewn steep trail that had me descending in a bit of terror using first gear and a lot of braking. Madigan was on the Honda Tracker quad behind me. I’d long given up looking for game and was focussed totally on the descent and not pitchpoling or tipping to left or right. I was glad to cross the railway path but turned north rather than south. Fortunately some kids on motorcycles appeared and I headed down from where they came up.
That’s when I found the Eris fire department. Across the road a delightful man was backing up his hoe. I drove the quad to him. He got out of his cab when I asked him how I’d get back to Heimbre Mountain Road. He asked how I’d come to be there and told m I’d made a wrong turn at the sand pit. He drew me a map. His kid come out to watch the adults. His dogs visitted my dog. I turned around the quad and headed back out only to find myself in a private property.
I came out of the private property and turned up a road leading up the mountain. It didn’t seem steep at first but when I hit the bend I could see the next stretch was way to steep. It was broken rocky uneven and I’d have to stand the whole way up if I hoped to make it. I tried to back down but the path was uneven and I immediately feared tipping to the side. There was only one hope, gun it. I did. Ending on a bit of flat beside the trail, heart racing and breath shallow. I didn’t even bother looking back at Madigan. He was leaning into my back his little heart thumping. I was about to be frozen so gunned it again making it to a turn on the off road moss not quite tilting over as I came around. Then it was straight and back down the trail convinced I’d been guarded by angels and nearly escaped rolling with a quad on top of me, I headed back to Eris and took a different trail up the mountain eventually arriving at the railway trail , back to the sand pit and onto the tunnel, the helpful guide had marked in his hand written map. The tunnel clinched it . I was going to be okay. I found the highway and took the Hiembre Mountain road back to my truck.
Thank you God the truck and trailer were undisturbed. Thank you God that Madigan and I were unhurt. Thank you God for the beautiful sunny day with just a touch of rain and cloud now, Thank you God for the Camper. It was great to see it there and great to see Laura sitting outside. I’d thought on the way I’d ask for her help backing in. But as she was sitting outside I thought she’d be watching, That’s when I backed the trailer into the tap and created havoc the geyser creating a puddle as I went to get the manager.
He returned and called city works. It was a municipal campground,
They had it fixed and I was thankful. I was tired and didb’t know what I was thinking. That they’d shut down the camp. Catastrophising as usual. They did shut the water off for a few minutes but only to that site.
With Laura’s help I actually backed the trailer into the site without hitting anything else. I then unhitched the trailer and backed in the truck. For future reference I won’t bring a trailer to this campground. We’ve been coming here thirty years and only twice have I brought a trailer. This is the only time on season and the park was packed and maneuverability was anxiety provoking. I’m exhausted at the end of the day of hunting too. Too much time on the couch and Netflix since Covid. I walk the dog but no athleticism sinc the crisis. The camper has been in repair half the time too during hunting season because I keep breaking something or it’s just wear and tear. This weekend a happy jack failed and I’ve had to hand crank the jack. When I get back I’m hoping John will fix it. The waitlist for repairs on trailers is 3 to 6 months. Now I’m in the season when I actually use the trailer. Oh well, Thank you God I’m alive, Laura’s alive, Madigan’s alive and we’re out here in the wilderness taking a break from the city and the work demands and insaiety. Thank you for all your blessings ,Thank you for Oxford which has been continually distracting me and filling me with doubt and concern. Looking back is difficult these days as there seems so little forward. I’ve begun reading old books and watching old movie s and enjoying them. I simply don’t see a future. I’m just muddling along and that’s okay but the new adventure just isn’t there. I m. I’ve a list of achievements but I read Thomas Merton on obscurity and consider the need to surrender and question letting go. I am going gentle into the night and I’m not raging. Just muddling. I dob’t like the politics and the lies and taxes and the corruption upst me. Gratitude is the answer. God is good all the time. The Infinite holds every possibility. Phillips was right . My God is too small. I must trust and accept grace. This too will pass. The Hound of Heaven will find me. The long dark night of the soul will end, I’m do the next right thing, Time is of an essence, Joy awaits. Thank you Jesus.
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