Friday, October 25, 2013

Waking Friday Morning

I woke at 7 and didn't get out of bed till 7 30.  I was enjoying my dreams.  I love when I dream and the world I'm dreaming of seems that parallel universe.  Friends now dead in this time line visit me there and there's a sense of belonging in some of the scenes.  It's like all the divisiveness, especially ideological, aren't there in that dream world.  I was sitting and talking with an old friend and others were moving about.  One of my favourite dreams is being a young kid with all the elder ladies, mostly church ladies. My aunt and mom are in the group and I'm welcome.
Then there are the dogs and cats. Old friends that come by in the dream and hang out a while. Shinto, Moon, Calico, Sunny. I've had visits with dogs especially from throughout my life. I miss the geese though. I'd like to visit with the geese again. Last night there was a horse in the dream. I think I was feeding it sugar. I don't remember ring but I rode a lot when I was younger. Grandad was a rancher.  It wasn't dressage or anything fancy. Just riding a horse like a bicycle because we were kids and horses were friends and great transportation.  
Gilbert jumped into bed with me. That's why I got up at 7:30.  Squirming hairy tongue licking body all over my chest and face.  Well, okay, it's time to get up. The first reward is always bladder relief.   I pray and meditate.  I want to be closer to the Creator. I want to know God and be a companion of Jesus.  I enjoyed discussing with a friend the way the Trinity relates.  Bernie loved the Holy Spirit. I've had my Holy Spirit times though mostly the Lord is the Lord and frankly I anthropomorphize God a bit like my father.  Aloof, loving, caring, present, not too talkative. An engineer creator but someone who can always fix things, worried about me.  So the Lord is a bit like Dad and all the other collection of elders in my life, Prime Ministers, Professors,  Teachers, Church Leaders.  I've been blessed by hundreds of fine older men in my life.  Even now I can think of Ron, Phillip, Willie, Arch, John, George.  Some of those I know are only a few years older than me but they're wiser. They've gone before me. They've survived. They've set an example.  And in those I know I really am blessed because they are the kinds of people I'd like to be. They're closer to God in ways and I'd take them as Lord. I'd give my allegiance to them. I'd follow them in battle and certainly I'd come to their rescue or the rescue of their families in a pinch.
It think that's the Tribal Scottish thing. We're loosely knit but ferociously loyal. Put a dastardly Englishman in our midst and even the Campbells and MacDonalds might stop mealy mouthing each other.  That's the way of tribal groups and I think of my friends in basic tribal terms.
I think of the Holy Spirit as more maternal.  As for Jesus, the closest idea I have of him is my childhood friends Garth and Kirk and my brother when we were still kids.  Older I think of colleagues. I'm at best one of the apostles and I think of the guys I love working with in clinics, those fine doctors I've shared offices with over the years. One is in Houston now.  So many are in Winnipeg and Toronto.  I still have so many fond memories of the doctors I knew on the island and the north.  Here in the city I have this loose relationship with a collection of family physicians and specialists and that's the apostle type thing. But Jesus is special. He's a Best Friend Forever relationship and I look to him as companion.  So when I pray and meditate I feel and listen for the relationship.
Then it's blessed coffee.  I had peanut butter sandwiches today too.  Then it was the mail.  Countless emails. Some spam.  Groups I belong too and wish I had more time to participate in more but I simply don't .  I want to study Hebrew simply to learn the meaning of biblical words that intrigue me and I  don't have the time for that. There's a dozen books and a dozen movies on my table.  Writing festivals are going on. I've a book of poetry to get too.  I've a book of short stories thats now collected but just needs editing. The great Canadian novel needs writing. I've not shot a deer for the winter freezer yet. I've got fishing to do. My little boat is so wanting to be ridden on the waves. There's the motorcycle that longs for a final ride  before winter storage.  I've a weekend ahead of me and I'd liked to take that train ride to Seattle just for the fun of it but there's chores to do.  I fixed a couple of the lights in the boat but before winter there's a myriad of maintenance tasks I have to do before I could leave it for the RV experience.  Heat is still a problem here because a neighbour is using what I think is my 30 amp socket leaving me only 15 amps.  The electric heater doesn't quite do it. I feel like I did in England when I had to pay the meter for heat and didn't have much money or had to decide whether to be warm or go to a play.  I have a propane heater that I can turn on and the diesel heater certainly gives a whollop of heat. I've a 5 gallon jerry can of diesel on the truck and another in the boat. I could go fill up but I'm leaking oil and it's a hassle in the fog.

That's how the mind goes.  But I've a day of work to do.  I've a ticket to the theatre too and shopping that needs doing.  Gilbert already got me to throw the tennis ball a half dozen times.  Now is napping again.  I like my work mostly. The paperwork is making healing and saving lives less appealing.  All those folk who want to criticize and look over your shoulder and tell everyone else how to do things  but can't do diddly squat themselves, well, I'm getting old and realize that after 30 years of doing my best work for the least pay without any of the promised resources these self righteous arrogant interfering bullying sorts aren't really part of the solution and yet they lack any shame.  I find myself more and more looking at places outside of Canada to work simply because of the soul sucking strangling beaurocracies.
Another group of professional 'activists' held up hastings yesterday.  I don't know what their cause was .  There seems to be the same group every week or two. I look at the CBC and see this group of people being filmed and the 'cause' they represent being bolstered by a photographer doing his best to make the numbers look more than they are.  There's a permanent nest of them on the Art Gallery steps.  Reminds me that England's democracy required "Speaker's Corner" where all these sorts could get their 'say' without their having to do the hard work of democracy.   I heard Russell Brand yesterday going on about revolution and thought yes, there's a rift between the rich and the poor but an article that bemoaned this fact overlooked the truth that never before in the history of the world have there been so many people and so many people living so well despite the rich who have always been with us.
Now I've got to rush and shower and get to work .  I seem to be always 'late' , rushing from one task or activity to another.  All the research on the cases I'm seeing, the evening meetings, yesterdays talks of new innovations in my work.  Last night the emergencies and now it's a final day in the week and the weekend.
Just another waking friday morning with so many behind me and so many more to come.  Thank you Jesus.

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