Total Aquatics, Inc. Napanee, Ontario

My brother Ron likes aquariums and tropical fish. I remember when he made his own aquariums then he got into salt water and coral.  It’s a meditation too.
In Napanee his favourite store is Total Aquatics.  Amazing family run business with fish and coral everywhere. Off in another room they also have snakes, chinchilla, hamsters, reptiles.
 “Adell doesn’t mind the fish and dogs but draws the line at reptiles and snakes.”  Ron says.
After much discussion , Ron came home with some fine new corral.  The Angel fish found it delectable.
“That’s what I mean about making sure everything in the tank is compatible.” Ron laughs.
Back at Total Aquatics, he finds some more choral.  Hopefully less tasty than the last bits.
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Ballet BC Program 2, 30th Anniversary Season.

I love Ballet BC.  Emily Molnar the artistic director brings a unique perspective to Vancouver. Ballet BC is  extraordinary  modern dance.  Every show I’m lifted out of the mundane into a different dimension where sound and movement mesh in specific and peculiar ways that expand my everyday seeing. Tonight’s two pieces by French choreographer Mehdi Walerski, Prelude and Natus, again did just that.  They were so different that were it not for the program I’d not have known they were by  the same choreographer. As ever the dancers were gifted and spectacular, hard half naked glistening contortionist bodies of elegance and discipline.
I loved the Prelude duet by Rachel Meyer and Scott Fowler.  Peter Smida playing the Man in Natus was everything from hilarious to hysterical.  “Where is the party?”  This line was  repeated through the dance in an almost Kafkesque way. The dancers moved rhythmically to a mixture of drums and words. The amazing set of distorted mirrors and burlesque lighting created a truly special space.
As the curtain closed, the audience burst forth in shouts of Bravo.  The cast bowed again and again as the standing ovation crescendoed.  What a truly culturally rich evening of unforgettable performances.  

Laura's Smart Car

Well it began with a Honda Big Ruckus 250 cc scooter. Laura loved my little 50 cc Ruckus and we thought if she had the 250 she could ride along beside me and Gilbert on my Harley.  She’d previously ridden on the back of my Harley roadster but Gilbert came along when I graduated to the Harley Electroglyde.  We tried the Russian side car Motorcycle for a while but it really wasn’t a comfortable ride.  Gilbert liked the cadillac comfort of the Electroglyde but really didn’t like to share his seat with Laura.  So for the sake of peace in the biker gang I got Laura the Big Ruckus.  Great city bike.  However the first time Laura and  I took it on a trip to Harrison she dropped it and banged her elbow something fierce.  Painful ride and not particularly fond of the bike after it bit her.  It was a heavy beast too so not easy to load onto the truck. We tried it out on logging roads hunting but it really didn’t like to climb and off road it was so heavy that it really wasn’t at all like my much loved Honda CRF 250.
That lead to the Yamaha 250 cc V Star.  A lovely bike. We traded up with the Honda and Laura was sure it was fine.  But then she got scared.  Riding it around parking lots was fine but Vancouver traffic spooked her. Out on the open road she’d have been fine but getting there was not going to happen.  So this beautiful new motorcycle lived in her car park for most of the year then came over to me where I kept into under tarp intending to sell it.  Laura’s Honda Civic had died and it just seemed like the Smart Car was going to be the solution.
Gilbert hurt his back jumping out of the truck so it was even questionable whether or not it would be good for him to go on long treks on the motorcycle.  Laura and I looked at several small cars over the year. I love my Mazda Miata sports car but other than that the Ford Fiesta, Cooper Mini, Fiat and Smart cars were the best bet. Laura with glasses and Vancouver traffic liked the Smart Car best for visibility.  So sure enough with a couple of extra thousand and the sale of the motorcycle she’d be able to get a Smart Car.  They live forever, are best in the city, but can go on trips.
So now the plan is that Gilbert can ride with me and the camping gear or he can ride with Laura in comfort. Knowing Gilbert he’s going to mutiny and choose to ride in comfort with Laura.   I’m going to ride the Harley Davidson no matter what. .  We’re planning more camping motorcycling trips.  That means either she’s back on the bike and Gilbert stays home, we manage with the three of us  or she  and he comes along behind in the Smart Car.  She loves Smart car. She says its like an enclosed and comfortable motorcycle.    The guys HIM motors  who sold it to her were terrific.  Diesel.  Red. Sun roof. Automatic.  As my friend Tom says it has it’s own cachet.   

Anti-authoritarianism and God

I’ve woken up again into a complex world of form and colour and sound. I don’t recall making it. I don’t know how to create it myself. I’ve a memory I don’t know how I came by but it remembers things much the same as they were from yesterday.  The dirty dishes are in the sink. I’ve got the same number of hands and feet and such.
I exist. I’m the perceiver here. But I don’t know who or what created this space and stuff and my mind and senses and such.  I don’t seem to be the author of my own existence unless I’m already demented and forgot some special powers I had and don’t seem to have now.  It’s way beyond 3 d printing. It’s a life I’ve got and I don’t really know how that’s come about. There are Ideas I have and hypotheses but none of it is really better than bullocks.
I like Buber who described this experience as I and the Other.  There is a sense of separation.  Me and this computer. Me and this air about me.  I see at least in a dualism of sorts.
Now because I’m humble and don’t have the capacity to create reality out of thought to the best of my knowledge I grant the existence of a creator.  Some “other” that made or is this world I, my limited self, this ego, have woken up to.  I think the aethesist are weak minded and don’t give thought to this basic dilemma of existence.  I’m here waiting for Godot and they’re going on about there not being a God while I’m in awe and gob struck by the table and the chairs and the mundane sacredness of existence. When I stepped outside it was even more awesome.  I have this little dog to and he’s utterly curious about everything like any minute he’s going to find the answer. Now I appreciate that for decades I’ve been looking for the creator and had but glimpses and experiences.  I’ve not actually met some black momma or white dude in a cloud.  I’ve just felt safe and secure and not alone. I have this sense of a positive entity. This other is kind enough to share this creation with me.  That may be projection. That may be a wishful thinking.
My aethesist friend would say that when he wakes his bed has ever been there. The Multiverse dimensional reality forever and to forever may have existed in all it’s complexity as is with my sole preoccupation making sense of it.  But my other friend once a gold loving light hearted person is now heavy hearted and philosophical in a tedious sort of way.  So I do like the humour of the god folk.  They’re less wicked than those who seem like wankers. We meet and congregate and share our faith.  For it is faith.
I’m anti authoritarian with the creator as much as I am with everything and everyone else.  I object that I woke today to my own place with the dirty dishes of last night and wish that this space was a self cleaning entity.  I have a number of complaints like the aches and pains in this body.  My memory suggests that they follow from my over use strains and even abuse of this body but still I wish a creator would grant me a new pain free body.  And I don’t like the aging experience much so I would rather be think and wrinkle free and no longer have grey hair.  I’m anti authority about those things. I have a memory of an unappreciated younger self that ran faster and jumped higher. I’d like that today.  So despite the ignorance I have of this whole of creation I’m critical and even think that I could do better. I may do sit ups today and remedy some of the problem but it’s still much easier to be negative and wait for a magical solution to my minor discomforts.
I haven’t even got around to considering that this other might have a ‘purpose’ for this wonderland I’ve been gifted with.  I don’t even know if I have a purpose. I have yesterdays plans and goals and all the relationships in my memory but this is a new day.
I fantasize that I could pack and grab the dog and head off to a war zone with a sniper rifle and play out the game I watch on tv and play in games. I could buy a romance experience with a slim young erotic person like the literature that is so popular in the culture.  Love and war.  Instead I will have another Kaffkasque day living a Camus existence celebrating life in a mundane sort of office way talking to be people about life and why to not destroy themselves or other while they’re trying to figure things out.  Everyone is quite hysterical.  There’s even these television and computer news files that show strangers having all manner of insanity, talking heads and drams and music and sports.  It’s amazing what people get up to in this prison of life without really knowing anything about the ‘why’.
I’m fascinated with the why and sometimes shout in the night in the woods at God ‘Why’.  I’m anti authoritarian then.  I’m not as filled with acceptance at times when I’m experiencing pain in this body or fear or worry. I remember this is a little ball I’m sitting on and it is spinning around a sun in a galaxy somewhere at the arse end of the universe.  Its not like I’m in the centre of anything but my own mind where I appear I am a legend.
Today I will try to be less anti authoritarian.  I know I’m appalled at the so called ‘political’ leadership and the ‘bankers’ and ‘lawyers’ and ‘eurocrats’ that are enough to make anyone want to escape to reality tv.  It astonishes me in the news that there can be such corruption and greed and waste and narcissism in this democracy.  I feel like it’s a riot or a farce but then I have to ask what really do I think of this existence I’ve just woken up to. The metaphor I use seems so much to define my feelings about it.  It’s entertainment and distraction.
I feel I’ve been here a long time and still don’t know whose life this is.  I know there are abortions going on daily and people being killed and thieves stealing food but right here and now I’m still not knowing really truly whose life this is.  I have hypotheses and  I have faith but today I’m really going to focus on the authority. I don’t think it’s me.  The author of this life could have been me. One theory says that we get together between these reincarnation lives in a place called the bardot and there we write these existences.  I may be meeting with some of the other script writers today and we don’t knows. That’s the Cloud of Unknowing. It really wouldn’t be fun if we knew everything.  So yes I may die to day but death is just an awakening to true life.  That’s my favourite thought. I’m less afraid and angry when I think that.
Now despite being anti-authority and angry that I have so many limitations and inadequacies, I don’t fly, and I’m not the worlds greatest lover, richest, most sensitive, wisest person, but rather mediocre, instead, despite all this I am going to talk to this other in a way I remember is called ‘prayer’.  I’m going to ask that today be special and that I come closer to knowing whoever or whatever is behind my waking today here and now. I also want to do what is best for me today that I may be of most service to whatever the grand scheme is.  I don’t want to be whining and complaining and pushing back but rather I’d like to go forward with a bounce in my step and a smile on my face. I ask God, because I chose to call the other God, that God be with me and guide me and show me the Way.  Thank you God for this awakening today, for the bed and warmth, the little dog, this body, the toilet and the food. Thank you.  Now I’m going to use the shower. I I seem to recall this is one of the greatest creations of all time and always gives me joy as this thing called coffee has given me joy. Thank you.

Anti-Authoritarianism and Politics

Anti-authoritarianism is fundamental to individuals and to the species.  Developmentally the first major conflict zone between the authorities and self is the parent child struggle named the Terrible Twos.  Developmentally at the age of roughly 2 to 3 a child exerts his individuality with contrarian distinction to the will of the parents.  Historically this was symbolized by the refusal to potty train or the 'no' and the 'temper tantrums.

Developmentally it is also a feature of the early teen years when children are moving from identification with their family to that of their peer group.

An old and simple truism is that the greatest leaders are the greatest followers.  There is great pride and narcissism in our culture with Frank Sinatra's song, "I did it my way" celebrating individual industry and endeavour. However there's a tremendous likelihood form most that this means a horrendous waste of time.  The NASA program doesn't encourage people to avoid the experience of learning from previous astronauts and just try jumping up in the air. Reinventing the wheel is avant garde but frivilous of resources.

Most creativity is done by those who have already accomplished the skills of those who have gone before them. Hence 'we stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before" is a truism.

There are 'exceptions that prove the rule' but the facts remain, in todays society there is a direct correlation between years of education and probability of success individually and in community.  It is true that there are PHD's driving taxis and Grade 6 drop outs who have become dot come millionaires. However the ratio is that more than 90% of PHD's are making more than $50,000 a year income while 90% of Grade 6 , perhaps even Gr 11 , drop outs are making less than $50,000.

Inflation in education is that today a Bachelor Degree or Journeyman papers are the same standard as the old Gr. 12 educations.  There's ratios.  The more complex the activity the more likely the need for advanced training.  No one wants a jetfighter pilot 'winging it'.

The difficulty with drug abuse and alcoholism is that they interfere with learning.  They also are strongly associated with anti-authoritarianism. Commonly those in 12 step programs who are supposed to do a Step 4 overlook addressing fears and resentments which they have to institutions and principles. Authority is perhaps best understood as a principle.  The major authority structures in society are government, education, religion, police, military, banks.

We have just had an election in Canada in which three outstanding individuals who all had great leadership skills competed.  Individually most Canadians were well spread in their appreciation for any of them and an anti authority joke that made the rounds was that 'choosing a politician is like choosing which STD one wants."  However, Mr. Harper  had been Canada's leader for 2 terms demonstrating his outstanding democratic leadership skills when winning ever one election is extremely difficulty.  Mr. Mulcair was leader of the NDP Opposition party and while he didn't win the election was a greatly admired leader of the Opposition and NDP>  Justin Trudeau, the present prime minister did exceptionally well as leader of the Liberal Party bringing this third place party to win the election.  His leadership skills on this alone are to be admired.

The fact is that all the Canadian leaders are A students when it comes to political. If there were an exam for "Political Intelligence" , Mr. Harper, Mr. Mulcair and Mr. Trudeau would all score A.  To date Mr. Harper has been A+ as a democratic leader serving two terms and having 8 years of leadership experience under his belt.  Mr. Trudeau has survived many months now and continues to lead his liberal party and the government of Canada while having only 40% of the popular vote. Mr. Mulcair has many years of experience and is facing another leadership conference. But the fact all these leaders are exceptional leaders.

Right now the American election is in the beginning delegates phase with Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders all leading in the races.  Again , all of these individuals are exceptional leaders. They have demonstrated great success individually in their own personal and public life and now are demonstrating their impressive leadership skills in these really tough campaigns and debates and the rather ugly spectacle of rough and tumble American politics.  Given American Transparency and Journalism every wrinkle and slip of the tongue is enlarged and distributed the world over whereas in the rest of the world where so many police states and so much of politics is behind closed doors no such public demonstration exists.

Elections in western countries are rather like blood sports and the public has a front row seat. That
truly is the issue of democracy whereas in communist totatitarian countries and other dictatorships the public doesn't know and there is no allowance for criticism and dissent.  America quite possibly
can be called the country with the greatest level of free speech in the world. Without 'free speech'





  
there is no freedom and political correctness is today the greatest threat to 'freedom of speech' and

'freedom' and "democracy" since Nazi Germany invaded Poland.

In a democracy with freedom of speech everyone has the 'right' to criticize the government and the authority institutions.  In Muslim lead countries we have seen that criticizing, questioning or repudiating Allah and Islam is a punishable offence with actual death as a consequence. Charlie was killed in another country by Islamic terrorists but the actions of those terrorist were supported by the Muslim Brotherhood and by Pew Statistics a majority of mainstream Muslims. In Thailand there is a professor in prison for criticizing the historical behaviour of an ancestral King. To criticize the Royal Family today is to risk incarceration.  To criticize the Royal Family in Saudi Arabia is to risk death as death was the lot of so many Argentinians who criticized their government in the terrible years.

Freedom is still a quite rare entity. So many of the leaders of the United Nations countries are guilty of major human rights offences and are quite frankly anti freedom for their citizens and often only pay lip service to the very idea of democracy.  Much of the world is ruled by old style tribalism, akin to gangsterism.  Power whether taken by gun or inheritted by those whose parents and grandparents took power by violence is in many ways the norm for much of the United Nations leadership despite their fatuous rhetoric.  The United Nations Authority has given rise to the black humor joke, "How do you know when a politician is lying. His lips are moving."

However, every leader in the United Nations is an A student in "Political Intelligence" and political leadership.

I'm personally not a very good leader. At most I've been in charge of a unit of 10 to 20 staff. I've been the acting head of units of a few more people but not that many. Mostly my businesses have at most had 2 or three assistants. I've not managed a marriage well. lasting 10 years in that endeavour and haven't had children. By contrast my brother, an highly accomplished administrator has wifh his wife of 30 plus years managed a family of 5, in addition to managing many many people in the work place and handling million dollar budgets.  Note that these are the true basis for judging leadship skills. Critics today are a dime a dozen and usually unskilled in and fundamentally ignorant. They are
however a 'legend in their own minds!"


I can only admire Canada's Prime Ministers and Political Party leaders for their "Political Intelligence'.  My brother's "political intelligence" is greater than mine. Obvioulsy Mr. Trudeau is
very bright politically to be the leader of a nation just like those who are leaders of the United
Nations.



It also means to my mind that they were all likely less 'anti authoritarian' than I am.  A communist leader might have got into his position of socialist leadership by killing a few competitors just like a leader of the Hell's Angels or Jacuzza or Mafia.  Justin Trudeau, Harper, Obama, etc. all got to their positions of leadershi by playing the 'game' without overt illegal behaviour.

The trouble with 'criminal' leaders is that they may in fact have political intelligence but they're a bit like people who bring guns to golf games. Criminals may win the golf game in their mind by killing the Tiger Woods. That doesn't make themgood golfers. They're losers except as killers.

Authority is power.  The democractic leaders as compared to the totalitarian leaders and the criminal leaders don't solely depend on fear and force. In a great movie excerpt from the classic Grand Canyon, the stupid thug Rocstar has a gun on the old man Simon who is discussing respect with him. Rockstar "are you asking me as a sign of respect or are you asking because I've got the gun' and Simon says "You aint got the gun, we aint having this conversation." Then Rockstar says, profoundly, "That's what I thought: no gun, no respect. That's why I've always got the gun."

So authority comes with fear or love.  Totalitarian regimes and gangter oligarchies and communist Committee run countries  are lead by fear.

In a democracy, the fact is 40% of Canadians voted for Justin Trudeau. Justin Trudeau individually didn't force them to vote for him. He didn't threaten them (except perhaps with the fear mongering Climate Change Cult, vote for me I'll save the world, vote against me and we all die because the planet is going to die) but really, he put forward his 'best sales job' and beat the other two guys who were doing their best to get votes and the majority went to Mr. Trudeau. The same happened for Obama.



In contrast many elections around the world, especially the phony communist elections and the fake democracies, if you don't vote for the dictator you're killed. He rules by the gun.

Now our government may well have the 'illusion' of democracy with the Elite, that 2% of every country that really rules, doing whatever they want to while giving us the illusion of choice.  In the
real politick of communism and socialist countries and other dictatorships the appointed people
simply take charge and tell you what to do.  There's no 'illusion of choice'.


That's fairly cynical and yes, all those who are cynical will naturally be 'anti authoritarianism."  Nihilism and cynicism are by nature 'anti authoritarian'.  The "loser' in the struggle of 'claw and tooth' in the wild will naturally be negative about their not getting the bone. Watching hyenas and lions is a study in such behaviour.  The multiplicity of carion beasts and the hierarchies of any society are complex.

But it remains that Mr. Trudeau and Mr. Obama today are A students in 'Politics'.  Just like Stalin and Hitler, and Henry the VIII and the Ottoman Sultan and Lincoln and Gandhi before them.  These men were all great leaders.

However, as the Golden Bough showed societies like to have leaders as 'scapegoat'.  Collectively the Germans who supported Hitler overnight denied association when the Nazi regime fell.  The same occured in the Bible with even Peter denying his association and following of Jesus, one of the greatest leaders of history.

Jesus was a great Authority, like Mohammed, like Moses, like Buddha, like other religious leaders. Personally I feel Jesus is the son of God but objectively all the religious leaders were A students politically and socially.

So when I criticize Trudeau who I personally do not like, his politics being as opposite my own as say the Montreal Canadienes Hockey team is from the greatest of all hockey teams, the Canucks.

In a democracy, with freedom of speech and political debate we can criticize our government openly
without wanting a revolution.  I love the Beatles song, "We don't want a revolution!"   I can understand why Americans want Hillary Clinton jailed and I can even understand why as many want Obama impeached as did Bush.  I would be ecstactic is Trudeau were step down from leadership of Canada and let someone more to my liking  win. I'd like the Canucks to win the NHL too.


I am interested in this issue of authority and anti authority though because a lot of people who have never even 'lead' anything or anyone speak as if they could do better than Justin Trudeau.  And it saddens me. I don't like Trudeau or even Obama but I really don't think with my experience and record I could do a better job than they are doing.

I'm a ship's captain and a rather adequate one.  I noted that when my ship was in a storm all the crew less experienced and capable than me wanted to be in charge.  I learned then that people who are afraid and unaware of their fearfulness, want to be in 'control'.  So often I have seen those out of control in my psychiatric practice want to 'take control' because this gave them the brief illusion of 'safety'.

I actually believe that our generation dominated by drugs and alcohol , television, movies and video games has an immense egotism and arrogance about their capabilities. I've seen so many picturres of rank beginners jumping on motorcycles and driving them first time. I've play video games. And yet, when I first drove a motorcycle it wasn't long before I crashed it. Even after advanced training and much experience I find riding my motorcycle a very advanced complex skill.  I've done these 'pilot simulation' series and I've been quite good. I've even sat beside dozens of pilots and had some basic training in flying. Still despite all the movies to the contrary I don't want to ever have to pilot or land a 747 or a jet fighter.

A professional is judged by his lowest level. The professional is one who does a whole lot of something and because of experience has quite outstanding successes but mostly can attest to a minimum standard of success.  There is no perfection in this human world despite the demands of authorities.    However a military sniper will hit the target with high probability most of the time.  They can have a bad day. By contrast an amateur can 'get lucky' and hit the target once.  Having delivered a hundred babies or so I see the great tv deliveries by the children, police, neighbour or whatever and think that's great.  90% of the time I really didnt' think I needed to be at the delivery. However there's at least a half dozen or more of the deliveries I attended that mother and child would
have died if I hadn't been there and I had n't had the greatest of teachers.

Because again, the greatest leaders are the greatest followers.  Just as I followed the instructions of
Rusty who taught me motorcycle riding, I had followed the instructions of the obstetricians and psychiatrists and other teachers who I was truly blessed to have as mentors. I also followed my father
and mothers instruction, perhaps not as well as I could have and certainly in retrospect should have, but I did follow them. I am indeed an extremely good follower.

But so is Mr. Trudeau.  He's been a great follower and learned from some of Canada's greatest leaders.  His father, Pierre Trudeau is just one. Both Mr. Paul Martin and Mr. Chretien supported and guided Mr. Justin Trudeau. Sadly even the Conservative weak link Mr. Joe Clark supported him.  He is clearly a great follower with great mentors and despite all predictions he has not totally bankrupt the country in the first 6 months of his leadership.  Obama might well be the devil incarnate but similiar America survived his rule just as it survived Mr. Bush.  Both Mr. Obama and Mr. Bush were as demonized as Mr. Harper in Canada was.

But the fact remains at this time they all are as great leaders as Mr. Putin or Mrs Thatcher.

Anti authoritarianism contains the inability to appreciate 'authority' in general and comes out specifically in a lot of situations.  Those who do drugs and alcohol are commonly anti law and order because it interferes with their addictions. Criminals are naturally 'anti authority' preferring to be 'a law unto themselves.'

Che guevara was as great a military leader as Ghengis Khan by some arguments but he wasn't as great a political leader as Khan or as his buddy Castro.  A great military leader or even a military hero might well not have the skills or political acumen to be the kind of leader that Truman or Kennedy were.

Political leadership is of a 'kind'.  It's a kind of 'authority'.  One feature is whether it's legitimate, criminal , or democratic.  Is is a product of force or attraction.  Is it 'respect' or is it a 'gun".

Now followers are fickle.  Mr. Harper, one of the greatest leaders of Canadian history, elected two terms and managed Canada through two world economic crisis is rejected overnight by the electorate one the basis of 'change'.  Anything is better than the old ways. Mr. Obama was elected much the same way after.  In democracies we don't as much vote for a person as against the last person. Even Winston Church lost his election despite what he'd done in WWII.  In democracy when a country is doing well the leaders may actually stay in power but the minute events change out they go.


It's been said that Benign Dictatorships are the best government overall for a country or a world however it's also said 'Power corrupts and Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely".  History shows too that regimes corrupt and eventually competition replaces them with empire after empire till the present world empire today.

Now the whole idea of 'freedom of speech', involves 'criticism' and therefore I can criticism authorities and thankfully in Canada the retaliation is not what it is in Saudi Arabia where the regime is so weak it cannot tolerate any dissension.  It's a government by force compared to Canada and even the US where the government is by attraction.

What's interesting in politics is not just the left and right dimensions but when the quality of criticism is by leaders themselves.  Not outsiders, but rather those leaders who have been before or themselves had the job of running large complex social structures.

The joke of the Alberta NDP election was that never before in the history of Canada or perhaps even the west have so many utterly ignorant and incompetent people gained so much power democratically. The vast majority of elected in that province had far less leadership experience than me and I've run a business, been an expedition leader, had masses of education and am a ships captain. The majority of candidates there had no leadership experience to speak of and had never managed budgets greater than a hundred thousand or so.  Yet despite the bankruptcy of the province they're muddling along showing that politics can 'survive' with all kinds. When there is a revolution such as the Lenin communist revolution that deposed the Russian government lead by socialist Alexander Kerensky after the abdication of NicholasII there is a similiar situation with generally politically ignorant, naive and incompetent people taking their leadership by force and establishing control with a gun.

The loss then is monumental. But it's interesting that a multi billion dollar business like the country of Alberta can be taken over by critics and school teachers and it muddles along.  Indeed experience is mostly associated with efficiency and without corruption, saving.

Now I'm looking forward to the leadership races in Canada. Rona Ambrose has been an amazing conservative interim leader and Mulcair is up for review by the NDP.  Meanwhile Donald Trump and
Hillary Clinton look like they will be the contenders for the next American presidency.  I personally like Country Rock or Country Folk Music but I like to think of these leaders as different types of music,  Obama was probably Rap while Hillary might be called jazz and Trump rock and roll.  I think of Justin Trudeau as hip hop myself and thought Mr. Harper classic rock.  Trump might be Metallica but the bottom line and that's what I want heard here is despite my fear and criticism of Trudeau and Obama I fully recognise them as A plus students of politics. As a Canadian I will follow Trudeau's leadership as well, kicking and screaming as I go. I'm paying his outrageous taxes and choking on his wasteful spending just like Americans who felt that neither the establishment Democrats or Republicans served them so look to the genius of Donald Trump, definitely a major leader.

But this analysis is like respect that which fighter pilots had for each other in WWI.  Downed pilots were treated respectfully and returned exchanged in prisoner exchanges in a civilized way before the rule of mob violence.

ISIS today definitely is lead by an A plus leader but his leadership is coupled with barbarian behaviour.

I guess it's summed up by recognizing that Lucifer was a great angel and remains a great angel but thankful he doesn't play for the Canucks. Personally I think the Angel Michael and even on good days that Jesus plays for the Canucks.  (Jesus was not playing for the Canucks this last season).

MacLean's Triune Brain and Psychiatry

Neuroscientist Paul MacLean formulated the idea of the brain being '3 brains in one" based on evolution.  His ideas in comparative neuroanatomy seem simplified today with the increased understanding of bird brain development however the concept remains a powerful basis for understanding behavioural neurology.
The triune brain consists of the reptilian complex, paleomammalian complex (limbic system), and the neomammalian complex (neocortex).  It was thought they were added sequentially however it appears from bird research the evolutionary aspect of this idea is questioned.
What remains relevant is that there are essentially three major structures to the brain, the basal ganglia.  A variety of functions are associated with the basal ganglia included activation, control of voluntary muscle, procedural learning and habits. It's associated with 'action selection'.
It is of critical importance with obsessive compulsive disorder, addiction and movement disorders.

The paleomamalian brain consists of the septum, amygdala, hypothalamus, hippocampal complex, and cingulate cortex.  This is called the Limbic System, a term introduced by Maclean who argued that these structures were associated with mamamalian emotion, reproduction and parental behaviour. today we know the limbic system to be principally related to emotional relations, family and tribal behaviour.

The Neocortex , found uniquely in high mammals, especially humans is associated with the ability for language, abstraction , planning and perception.

The functional MRI studies of cocaine use show that the frontal brain, the neo cortex are indeed associated with delayed gratification and that these centers are impaired after cocaine use for three months.

Drugs and alcohool are 'disinhibiting' with regard to structures of the brain. The ability to see sound, which is an experience of babies is what occurs with hallucinogens. Nothing 'new' but rather an uncovering of something 'very old' occurs.

Drugs and alcohol therefore do not 'add' to experience but rather 'uncover' earlier experience and cause different associations.

Confidentiality and Privacy

Commonly people tell me that they think a large ‘space’ of their lives is ‘confidential’.  They have this Canadian delusional idea of ‘privacy’. The political immaturity of the average Canadian appears almost comical were it not such a reflection deep reflection of the powerful programming and propaganda of the Canadian ‘state’.
There is no ‘privacy’ or ‘confidentiality’ is a better truism than the assumption that there is any ‘confidentiality’ or ‘privacy’.  Canadians are commonly mislead by the television and journalism and the proximity to America where there are still vestiges of ‘confidentiality’ and ‘privacy’.  In Canada all confidentiality and privacy is relative.
Within my life time the law has changed diametrically to take all privacy and confidentiality.  If a judge requires anyone to share information then that information must be shared or the individual with the information faces incarceration, loss of income, public humiliation, and more.  This was not so 20 or 30 years ago.  The last battles for confidentiality were lost for individuals when both psychiatrists and priests were required to release information.  “Talk to the authorities’. The authority in Canada is supposedly the Parliament which writes laws and the Supreme Court which interprets laws and the police which uphold laws.  However the power of parliament has declined dramatically since Pierre Trudeau and the enactment of the beginning of the Legal Theocracy in which we live. The last dispute about who ruled Canada was the conflict a couple of years ago between the elected Prime Minister and the Appointed Supreme Court judge.  Democracy lost that dispute.  One of the final nails was hammered into the coffin.
In the day to day running of the country little has changed.  Tyranny is a sneaky business.  Unless their is a bloody revolution the process is quiet yet steady.  One day we woke up and had less freedom than we had the day before.
I see this in the world of information.
When I began as a psychiatrist I had only to write down ‘Anxiety’ or ‘Depression’.  I could keep ‘process notes’ regarding my patients but these were uninterpretable without my presence and explanation.  Then the ‘billing bodies’ without discussion with the patients and little if any discussion with doctors demanded that doctors ‘record’ much more detail.  If we didn’t record ‘detail’ then we’d not get paid.
Next the principal arm of State Control of Doctors, was the College of Physicians and Surgeons.  They introduced increasing ‘requirements’ for doctors regarding ‘note taking’.  Patients had no direct say in this and yet there was an ‘appointed’ representative to this ‘beurocratic body which itself was appointed by the Minister of Health who was supposedly ‘elected’ but never on a platform to ‘invade patient privacy’ or ‘destroy all manner of patient confidentiality’.  Despite this the State or government has stripped the patient of all previously held rights in this domain. The doctor patient ‘space’ is now populated heavily by members of the College of Physicians and Surgeons, the Ministry of Health, various patient advocacy groups, activists, countless insurance agents of varying training, records personnel often with no training in privacy and some who hardly speak English or French, some people very poorly paid indeed, and countless lawyers and their assistants.  I often find that this ’space’ has become so crowded that there really is no room for the patient or the doctor in this crowd of competing agendas.
Because health care has moved from a “private’ matter to a ‘public’ domain patients are called ‘customers’ by the ’State’ and the very ‘patient-doctor’ relationship is reduced to that of a person buying shoes.  There is no ‘covenant’ however the doctor can and will be held accountable to an impossible standard of perfection and every day knows that if he doesn’t stand with the masters against the patient he will lose his license or be faced with major financial punishment.
When patients see doctors and have private insurance companies they sign a ‘release of information’.  At this point they see what the Public Health Care system is doing all along.  The insurance company demands extensive information and all files of the visit and asks the doctors details that essentially are a request for an HD Video release of the patient doctor encounter.  Otherwise they won’t paid the poor and dependent patient the insurance they paid for.
What patients don’t realize is that 25 years ago insurers essentially asked. Is the patient sick?  Is it Anxiety or Depression?  When can they return to work?   What was said between doctor and patient was not considered their ‘business’.  Now if I do a rectal examination, the insurance company wants a sample of the stool or at least a report of that stool sample.  They want to know everything the patient says.
The College of Physicians and Surgeons treats the doctors like criminals. All doctors are guilty until proven innocent. The Minister of Health and all the activist organizations making millions parasitically off the doctor patient relationship have in their minds justified their largesse on the basis of their protecting the patient usually from sex with the doctor, which is actually an incredibly rare phenomena.  This ‘ends against the middle’ illogical rhetorical position has justified the invasion of the ‘doctor patient’ space to the point where neither the doctor or patient have any actual ‘control’ over ‘privacy’ or ‘confidentiality’.
When I began working as a physician, the College of Physicians and Surgeons was a licensing body which had no more actual power than the ‘driver license’ bodies.  The question was ‘were you fit to drive?” For doctors this was ‘the license credentials’.  If the police caught you being a danger to yourself or others driving your license could be revoked.  There wasn’t a whole lot more that was involved.  Though today even that body is using the ‘insurance’ and ‘prevention’ model to invade every car much like they have in medicine.  It wasn’t always thus.
Then a judge said , “if it wasn’t written down it didn’t occur’.  And the College of Physicians and Surgeons essentially  began to create a ‘patient as the enemy’ model for doctors to follow.  The doctors own insurance lawyers then told doctors that ‘for every five minutes with the patients they had to chart five minutes’.  Psychiatrists were actually encouraged to have cameras and recording devices in the office because the ‘doctor’ was called a liar and a killer by the ‘activists’.
This pattern occurred in medicine. it  has occurred in every other area of the individual’s life.
With computerization all information is readily accessible.
When I ‘hacked’ in the 80’s it was a relatively easy matter. All one had to get was the phone number of the data entry connection of any institution.  There were no firewalls. There were no laws against the phone numbers . All one needed was a modem and software.  All government and hospital agencies files were readily available to a person with a PC.  Today there is minimum of state information protection yet my friends in ‘software security’ tell me it’s nothing. They being smart young geeks find all the ‘government’ security measures outside very limited areas ‘laughable’.
Now the supposedly most protected area of information of Canadians is our ‘income tax’ data.  The income tax data however may be viewed by hundreds of people and many agencies outside the Revenue Canada Agency (Canda’s equivalent of the IRA” .  The whole portions of the  countries income tax files have gone missing at times.  The information has ended up getting lost and showing up in wide open services repeatedly.  Besides of of Canada’s security has on several occasions been totally hacked by Chinese military.  Their concern for the confidentiality of our individual medical, legal, financial data that is in government computer banks is little if none as they have no concern for their own country men.  So this information is potentially all over the web.  It is more reasonable to ‘assume’ that every piece of computerized information that government has ever collected on you or any information you have ever given to a doctor, dentist, lawyer, bank is available to an interested person.
I became aware of how little privacy I had in my divorce.  Information that was ‘sacrosanct’ to me was publicly distributed.  There was no relevance to the divorce process but it’s release was personally damaging and the motive was simply ‘spite’.  In contrast given the amount of money to be made from ‘identity theft’ extortion or a wide variety of other ‘information’ abuses it was a really minor thing at the time.  It did tweet my interest even more in the issue of ‘confidentiality’ and ‘privacy’.
To anyone interested , the choice of judges in the US is an education in privacy and confidentiality.  A judge’s computerized ‘video’ selection showing he’d ordered’ Debbie Does Dallas’ or some such ‘soft porn’ caused him to be passed over for the position. it was not even certain that he rather than someone else in the household had used his credit information. But given the now ancient understanding of ‘privacy’ he was ‘assumed’ a pervert.
CSI Cyber is a good television show if only because it shows each episode the ‘limits of technology’ which everyone increasingly uses but no one it appears ‘understands’.
My latest iPhone was chalk full of spy ware.  I can’t buy a computer related device now that isn’t ‘spy wear’. My internet history is recorded everywhere. In the past a ‘private eye’ had to go through my garbage outside my door to get to know my ‘habits’ but today the amount of time i spend watching CSI cyber is available to any mildly internet savey person.  I have ordered on line ’spy ware’ ’search’ programs that make anyone a private eye.  This is ‘public ware’.  It’s not any of the specialized expensive software.

I have a few friends who live ‘off the grid’ though this is increasingly difficult because there are increasing laws against this.
The latest ‘long census’ is a move back to the detailed ‘collection  of data on citizens.  It’s antiquated but it’s more ‘invasion of privacy’ at the group level.
A black homeless man told me that ‘we don’t know anything about the rich crackers because they pay millions for security and live hidden lives behind closed doors.  We can’t even get inside. We live on the street so the social workers and police know everything about us.  When Harry tried to fuck a dog last week everyone knew.  But we don’t know anything about those rich crackers so I figure they have all that security because they are all fucking their dogs up in those mansions and when they’re not they’re fucking somebody’s children.  I am not. But nobody cares about me.  That’s the only privacy I have.  I’m nobody."
It got me thinking.
So I’ve begun to live ’transparently’.  My divorce got me started. Prior to that I thought there was some vestiges of privacy in the world but when I watched the courts and government in that process I learned that there’s only lies.  The psychopaths, sociopaths and pedophiles live in the dark.
I’m happy to live in the light. People know I masturbate. People know my real income is. People know I’m not rich but that those who are rich own major buildings and planes in fleets and can hire people to hide anything in their past.  It’s even possible to get rid of a criminal record.  Not completely.  But if a person doesn’t have the funds to search a simple name change or geographical move can complicate findings .  Identity is a whole other matter.
Anyway the reason I write this blog is about this ‘idea of transparency’.  My friends know I wouldn’t steal, rape, torture or lie, not that I couldn’t but that if I did there’d have to be millions of dollars involved.  I’m on record as saying that I understand doctors who take money like escorts but I don’t think it’s good for the profession if doctors sell out like cheap street whores.  We know a lawyer can be bought and so can an accountant.  It’s assumed that every politician has a price and most are low.  Businessmen will do most anything for money.
Ralf Nader was an interesting fellow. Millions of dollar were given to private investigators to ‘find’ ‘dirt’ on him and none did. He’s apparently the most boring man in America.

Which is what the conclusion is. No one but a very very few boring or extremely rich people can be in public today because of the grossly outdated ideas of ‘privacy’ and ‘confidentiality’ .  Everyone has a cameo and everyone has a computer so it follows that as everyone masturbates at some point in their lives except maybe 1 % everyone is going to have a picture of themselves doing something sexual or deceitful or bad or ugly at some time in their lives.  There is not a young person today who is going to be able to ‘elected’ because of the loss of ‘privacy’ .
It’s become a liars world. Unless we assume ’transparency’.  But even ’transparency’ is rife with ti’s own new set of problems.  But anyone who thinks there’ s privacy or confidentiality is watching too much television and not at all aware of the times.
As for the law. I spent thousands of dollars on the most advanced encryption and computer privacy enrichment only to have a girl helping in my office steal my password over my shoulder reading upside down and bypassing thousands of dollars of encryption.  When I reported this to the police there was absolutely on consequences for ‘information theft’ even when they were caught red handed. I was actually told the police assumed it happened all the time but that I was the only one who had reported it  The ‘lesson’ in this matter cost me a hundred thousand dollars.  The message was the no-one cares and even when you catch a thief red handed there are no consequences because ‘privacy’ and ‘confidentiality’ are a lie.
To be a ‘free man’ in Canada today I have to accept that the STATE and every other agency is ‘free’ to enter my space and that those who were supposed to protect me are the most likely to profit from betraying me.
The old way is dead so there’s need for a new system or for people just to learn to walk about naked knowing that those who are clothed are more likely lizards than human.  

Panic Attack

I know anxiety. I know panic attacks. Yet I realize as I ask people in detail about a panic 'attack' or an anxiety 'attack' they have a different idea of what medicine means.  Life is an anxiety attack is poetic justice but not clinically relevant.

The DSMV lists Panic Attack Specifiers. Panic attack is not a mental disorder itself  They can occur in the context of other mental disorders, (e.g. depression, ptsd, substance abuse) and some medical disorders (cardiac, respiratory, vestibular, gastrointestinal).

Panic attack is distinguished by an abrupt surge of intense fear or discomfort and reach a peak within minutes, during which time four or more of the following symptoms are experienced:
1. Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate
2. Sweating
3. Trembling or shaking
4. Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering
5. Feelings of choking
6. Chest pain or discomfort
7. Nausea or abdominal distress
8. Feeling dizzy, instead, light-headed or faint
9. Chills or heat sensations
10 Paresthesia (numbness or tingling sensational)
11. Derealization (feeling of unreality) or depersonalization (being detailed from oneself)
12 Fear of losing control or 'going crazy'
13. Fear or dying.

If you are having you, first stop should be the emergency to make sure there's nothing physical especially if your name is Sigourney Weaver in the Aliens.

Resentment, Forgiveness, and Justin Trudeau

I haven't been personally so disturbed by someone since I was divorced. I remember I couldn't stand the way the ex wife spoke.  She was stoned and would try to appear normal. I knew her so well that I knew when she was being dishonest.
It's the same way with Trudeau.  I just think he's not present.  I want to drug test him every day. I remember Reagan saying, "you can drug test me any day".  Yet here's Trudeau whose admitted to criminal behaviour, breaking the law, with marijuana use, first as a teacher and then as an MP. 

But the issue is my reaction to it.  I'm clean and sober and I did the same as he did. I was every bit as arrogant and megalomaniacal as he. I remember thinking as I smoked a joint that I was 'special'. I was above the law. I was part of the 'insider' group. I was buying dope from physicians and smoking dope with doctors and lawyers. I was 'in'.  I was 'above the law'.  I had arrived.

That's the distinction between alcoholism and addiction.  The alcoholic isn't breaking the law. He may break the law once he's loaded but he's not breaking the law when he gets loaded.  The addict however 'intentionally' sets out to break the law.  Every time he lights up a joint or crack pipe or smokes heroin or shoots heroin he's thumbing his nose at authorities.

I understand it must have been very difficult to have a distant father like Pierre has been described, a rather cold fish with emotional difficulties. His wife and the mother of Justin was absent with her drug addiction so the poor guy grew up loaded with all the red flags that go with mental illness. Stalin's wife killed herself. Paul Johnson's classic book, "The Intellectuals" records the life histories of the highly intelligent men who were equally lacking in emotional intelligence. I get all that. I personally am normally empathic.

But I'm afraid. I'm taught when I have a resentment to question how this is personally affecting me.  First is the person having a negative  effect on my financial security. Well, yes. I think with Trudeau throwing around money like a drug addict does giving away the countries savings and buying votes left and right that I'm not going to have any old age security.  I'm old and fearing I'll never be able to take a break from working.

Unlike Trudeau I've worked since I was 16.  I've worked the equivalent of three jobs for thirty years and lived under the Liberal government for most of those seeing all the wealth of western Canada being stolen by Quebec. That's the legacy of Pierre Trudeau.  I remember liking his carnation and how naïve I was politically when I was caught up in Trudeaumania back before anyone knew how many hundreds of millions of people had been killed by the Communists.  The left wing made the right wing Nazis look like beginners when it came to extermination of it's citizens.  We didn't know this till the fall of the Wall.

Pierre Trudeau's communism was exotic in the 60's and 70's but when the Berlin Wall came down in 1989 the lies of the left became available for everyone.  It turned out the USSR economy was built on the slave labour of Gulags.  Today everyone hears about the American prisons but forgets that Communism everywhere depends on slave labour.  China's gangster society with hundred millions deaths and countless slave labour is the latest lesson in left wing politics.   Now we have another Trudeau and communists kill or imprison any one who disagrees with them. Further the fact is that Hitler was a reaction to Stalin.  Communists begat the Nazis.  Read history.

So I fear Trudeau, personally, because I fear and always have feared Police States.  Canada is daily now moving into a worse police state.  Our basic rights are evaporating and the only ones who can afford the courts are the rich.  The Poor and the Middle Class are daily more disenfranchised. Freedom is such a rare and vulnerable luxury which so few in the world have and yet its loss occurs so easily.  Hitler took over Germany within a couple of years. Trudeau wants to change the way we vote.  He threatens every freedom Canadians have won over many many years.  His father's dynasty is the destruction of western Canada and the English.  The only real winners are the courts and Quebec.  Now the Charbeaneau Commission tells us Quebec is ruled by mafia and bike gangs.

So I'm afraid.  I'm afraid of Trudeau and those who are beehind him. 20 years as a Liberal I became disillusioned by the corruption in the Liberal Party and in Quebec.  I left all political association.  

So yes I'm afraid. Fear is the precursor of resentment.

My second question is, after money, what about personal status. My own personal status and my sexual life as well are declining with age.   So yes here' this young punk flaunting his sexuality like a cheap whore showing off his tits and pects.  

I remember Kim Campbell just showed her shoulder .   The women were furious that the PM position would be won by flagrant sexual sales job. Yet now 50 Shades of Grey is the female rage and women are filling the treatment centres for addiction. Myra Cyress and the Kardashians are the new female superstars.  So everyone adulates the bimbo boy PM.

The standards for social behaviour are plummeting and I'm no prude.  But as I've paid the equivalent of a million forfeigt as a consequence of smoking dope, I've paid the equivalent of a million dollars for using the F word. I didn't lie like Pierre did .  Pierre Trudeau said he didn't say 'fuck' but that he said 'fuddle dock' instead. Asked if I said fuck, I was truthful as I've always been saying I said "fuck'.

Now I'm am supposed to forgive my enemies.  I'm supposed to think Trudeau isn't bad but just a sick man.  I'm supposed to pray for my enemies.  Each day I do this.  I'm praying for forgiveness and for Trudeau and for Canada.  I'm praying whenever I'm not working or doing something else.  All I'm doing is praying because it seems a day doesn't go by without him giving a way another billion or throwing another party.

He's taxing the air we breath.  If he taxed O2 even the scientifically illiterate Canadians would figure out that he's taxing the air.  But instead he and Obama with their Climate Change Cult tax 'Carbon'.  And no one without science training figures out that CARBON DIOXIDE is air.  So Canadians are now paying Trudeau to breathe.

And I have to pray for him. I have to forgive him.. I have to learn to focus on the light and not to be distracted by his sickness. I"m taught to 'detach with love'.  Well I'm trying and I'm not doing very well.

So please God help me pray for Trudeau and forgive him.  Help me have hope for the future. Help me to look for the positive.

Now I must look for my part in it.  So God please forgive me for voting for Pierre Trudeau. Forgive me God for not listening to my father and all those other wise older men and women who saw that he was a Marxist Leninist and knew what murderous sociopaths communists worry.  Please forgive me for not listening to my mother who had no respect for Margaret Trudeau.  Please forgive me for my youthful stupidity and superiority and for smoking and thinking I was so hip, slick and cool compared older people despite my ignorance and arrogance.  Forgive me for my inexperience then and I pray now that I am wrong.  Please God fill Trudeau with your light and love.  Help me overcome my resentment as I know that resentments are just taking poison and hoping the other guy will die.  Help me overcome my fear and have faith and trust in you as you have always loved and cared for me.  I am so blessed Lord.

I know in my work I see such poverty and waste and feel so empty with so many good people suffering. I see and hear old men coming back to work as doctors unable to retire because of the rising costs. Everyday I learn of another death.  Sickness surrounds me.  Help me see the humour and find the joy in life Lord.  Don't let me be pulled down by all the suffering in Canada.  So many people I see are homeless.  The elderly are without health care.  The elderly can't defend themselves from the thieves that are everywhere now. The courts have abandoned the old here in Canada.  Every where I turn another old person is being threatened.  Forgive me Lord for my fear and identification with all these good people who worked as I did and now are lost and forgotten.

Please Lord help me forgive.  Tonight I pray for Trudeau.  May they know truth. May they know you.  May I grow in courage and have more faith and know more love.

Trudeau "Men, Women shouldn't be afraid to be feminists".

I almost puked yesterday.
I heard  Trudeau on the radio say. "Men, Women should not be afraid to be feminists."
I could taste the bile.
"I am not a feminist". I thought. I rather agree with Lauren Southern whose talk "Why I am not a feminist."  is world reknowned. I just wish Trudeau would have spent more time doing his homework than smoking pot and catch up with the times and reality. .  
 I am not afraid to say what I think or feel.  How typical, though,  of the controlling immature language of the totalitarian left as to pigeonhole the feelings of anyone who disagrees with them.
The First Italian Woman to climb Mount Everest meeting with one of first women to sail around the world in small sailboat were asked by a silly American journalist, "Are you women feminists?"
The women replied.
"No we are not feminists.  Feminists just talk.  We are women. Women do things."
I love women. I've always loved women.  My mother was a woman who did things.  My aunt was the executive assistant to Canada's ambassador. I was raised by strong women and by and with great women.  "I love International Woman's Day".
I can't can 't  forget the year the Women's Liberation movement was hijacked by Social Communism, Egalitarianism overnight changed to Tokenism.  Feminism until proven otherwise stopped being a woman's movement and became an 'anti male movement.    
Today's Feminists are 'afraid' of 'free speech'.  They thrive on emotionalism and threat. They demand  Justin Trudeau feminism,   They try to ban the likes of  Christina Hoff Sommers from speaking on campus. They say they are too weak and  'terrified" to hear anything that disagrees with their feminism, the new religion of hate.  
Professor Sommers  wrote the classic book, "Who stole feminism? How Women Betray Women".  She described the hijacking of the women's movement by invested interests: non egalitarian 'gender feminists!" With the typical bullying tactics of the Left,  her womanly campus talks were  boycotted by angry girl feminists.
University of Ottawa's Professor Janice Flamengo's has clearly stated "Why I am an anti feminist" She clearly  Feminism has 'double standards'.  Her You Tube series is excellent but she is now 'boycotted by Feminists.  Robyn Urback's written of this in his National Post blog, "If this is the new women's movement, it's no wonder girl's don't want to call themselves 'feminists'.  I'd argue that if Trudeau calls himself feminist there's no better reason than that for the majority of Canadian men and women no longer wanting to be associated with a crazy cry baby cult.
"I was a feminist 20 years ago," my male medical colleague said.  "I wouldn't say I am today.Is anyone still a feminis? All the women I know wouldn't call themselves that. They're doctors.   lawyers and architects."
Prof. Aim Sinpeng, Political Science Professor, University of Sidney has argued that the International Women's Movement is critically important.  She makes the case for  "International feminism' speaking to basic human rights  for women, the right to life, liberty, freedom to vote, protection from genital mutilation, and sex slavery, etc.
The vast majority of Canadian men and women, especially those who have little or no respect for  Trite Trudeau, support equality for women.  The Conservatives especially, lead today by the powerful Rona Ambrose, Canadian Opposition Leader,  are  most dedicated to stopping abuses against women and ensuring equality.   Canada's first female Prime Minister was indeed the Conservative Kim Campbell. She was a tough Canadian woman much like the present Supreme Court of Canada Judge Beverly McLaughlin.  The Real Women of Canada are  brave women as they've spoken out for Canadian women, not just feminists.
Troudeaus are not known for their bravery. Neither are feminists these days.  It's sad that Trudeau would even suggest that 'fear' is what motivates Canadians to reject today's feminism, a weak sister to what went before.  Possibly because the Trudeau "Brand"  got the kid elected he clings to outdated 'symbols', weak sister politicking on past perceived glory.  International Women's Day is about Women, not just feminists, male or female.  Lets celebrate International Women's Day with the respect women deserves.  Trudeau should leave his divisiveness of leftist language politics of abuse, implied and otherwise. Canadian women have always been and will remain resourceful without him.  .

The Great Commission as understood by a Kindergarten Christian

Jesu said:  “All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always to the end of the age.”  Holy Bible, Mathew 28:16
When I read this I consider what a luke warm Christian I am personally.  I realize that those nut bar Christians that are embarrassing everyone sane by preaching on soapboxes and ranting on late night television are indeed just following the Great Commission.
Jesus gave this message to the 11 disciples so as I like to read the Bible for loopholes like lawyers, accountants and Pharisees,  I’d say this Great Commission was meant for the church leadership. Not for me.
Yet I did take the time to get a Masters of Theology and studied at various seminaries and am supposedly an elder. My emotional age isn’t anything near my grey hair stage.  Yet here’s this clearly Evangelical statement and I don’t particularly like talking about Jesus with others. It’s awkward.  I mean, if I’m asked I’ll speak. I wear a cross to show that I’m a Christian. Also it does remind me that I’m at least trying to be ‘good’.  Like the song “Johnny Be Good”  Good.  Godly.  So, if I was going into a whorehouse or a bar I might see a reflection of myself in the glass and note the cross and ask if this is really where a Christian should be. Knowing myself I’d probably follow that up with the lame lie that I’m going in to evangelize.  I would have years ago.  Now I avoid places that don’t like dogs and children.There are some signs that I'm progressing in this spiritual journey.
I think as a modern day Christian one really shouldn’t be indiscrete about their religious affiliation.  It’s alright for the vegans to be the loudest kids in the room.  It’s alright for the pot smokers to stink up a place. It’s alright for all the politicos to go on and on about elections. It’s even alright to get really passionate about football.  But one really shouldn’t discuss the teachings of Jesus.  Philosophy yes.  Ethics even.  But ‘to obey everything that I have commanded you’.  What exactly did Jesus command.  “Love your neighbour as yourself”.
“Make disciples of all the Nations”.  That doesn’t sound ‘ecumenical’ or ‘diverse’ or at all politically correct.  The Great Commission says that I’m to make disciples of the Nations.  That sounds as bad as Moslem world dominon or like the Catholic Church in the dark ages.  It’s fairly colonial if you think of it.  Very in your face.
Not quite my kind of Christian.  Not someone you’d have for dinner.  Sounds like a megalomaniac.  A twit wit really. I wouldn’t want to be that kind of Christian.
Yet that’s the command, it seems.  “All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me.”  Jesus says.
“Baptist them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."
That’s clearly trinitarian.  Three person god.  The three faces of the One.  A multiple personality disorder God.  Not a neat ‘Father’ only God not an Allah, not a Creator alone God,  but a Parent Child God and an invisible God.  Weird almost science fiction stuff.
And Baptizing.  Should I be going about the world staying in youth hostels and shooting strangers in the face with a water pistol.  Don’t think that would go over well in Muslim countries or with the atheists of China.  Evangelism can seriously get a Christian arrested.
I know that the early disciples were martyred.  Just saying you were a Christian can still get you killed all over the world. Christians are the most persecuted people in history.  But you wouldn’t know that.  It’s not like Christians control the airways and the television.  If you asked kids who was most persecuted, they’d probably says the Republic on Star Wars. .
Most Christians are not fond of the idea of being martyred.  Nice church services.  Great music.  Safe hanging out with other Christians.  Sanitized Christianity.  Martyrdom mostly never has ever appealed to Christians.  Given the choice of denying the relationship with Jesus, even Peter, at first chance, denied Jesus.
It’s just something Christians do.We're sinners. Christianity is Sinners Anonymous. Except the Great Commission unfortunately says we're not supposed to be anonymous.  Damn.
It's not dissimilar to Adam wearing fig leaf when God talked to him after eating the Apple.We're kind of ashamed of being Christian.  At least that's our behaviour.  Mine anyway.  It's not like I really wanted to be a Christian. It's so much easier to be Politically Correct.  Atheism is hip and always has been.  Better to be a critic than to actually espouse anything original.  Christianity just isn't that fashionable, not like Sex in the City.  I wouldn't watch a tv series Jesus in the City, that's for sure.
Now the academic in me wonders if this “Great Commission” was really what Jesus said.  Or was it added sometime later. It’s not mentioned in all the gospels.  It’s big in Mathew but Mark is thought to be the earliest text and it’s not there.  So it’s possible that it’s mistranslated.  It’s possible that Jesus didn’t really say this quite like this.
Now I don’t doubt the line ‘All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me.”  I think of Jesus as spectacular, as real spiritual Goreski skating about ancient history. If he hadn't been born in a desert he'd have been a hockey player for sure.   He’s the word of God. He’s God.  I can accept all that. It’s easy to ‘believe’.  I can sit in a classroom and agree with all manner of nonsense I learn. The only problem happens when the teacher says ‘now, you do something’.  It’s like language classes.  A whole lot of fun till I’m asked to speak. Then it’s really embarrassing.  So I don’t think I have any problem with Jesus, per se.
It’s that line “go and make disciples of all the nations’.  It's Evangelism that sucks.  That suggests I have to convince strangers and others that Jesus is Lord and I have to get them to let me drown them.  Not drown them but at least dunk them. I started out as a Baptist and we believed in full body immersion.  But when I got to the university and became really educated I moved to the Anglican church where we sort of lightly sprinkle or dribble water on the forehead.  None of this overt John the Baptist dunking ritual.  Rather a dainty, effeminate, rather elegant and fashionable ‘baptizing’.   I expect some new Christians are actually using bottled effervescent water for their baptism. Maybe a Pellegrino.
I actually think we could just get a firefighter air plane and fly over nations, focussing on cities and dribble a little water from the plane .  There'd be no need to explain to our our neighbour,.  We'd just be ‘baptizing’ them.  Our government bombs people sometimes indiscriminately so why not sprinkle water on them.  I could do a fly by over New York city or maybe Hollywood.  Discretely.  A modern sophisticated baptism.  Maybe bless the riot hoses that police use.  I wonder if that would be enough. I’d not personally like to be associated with the activity.  I’d rather it was done behind closed doors and certainly not where people could film me.The last thing I want to have is someone taking a picture of me being a Christian and seeing it on Facebook.  That's just too ridiculous.
I know that Muslims are killed if they leave their religions so the government wouldn’t want me to talk to them about Jesus because that would be ‘offensive’ and definitely not ‘politically correct’.  The Buddhists usually just smile and don’t listen when I talk about Jesus.  Hindus are more interested but they tend to laugh a lot.  I could go to South American and Africa and find some real pagans to baptise but the fact is Christians ‘attracted’ converts from all the great religions of the middle east, Africa and Europe.  I suspect they acted and behaved better than me.  They lived a Christian life. They prayed and “obeyed’ Jesus.  I don’t like that word ‘obey’.  I think it wouldn’t go over well today. If I could just change the Great Commission to suit me and the times I think it would “sell’ better.
That’s what I think
I feel , however, that’s not what the Great Commission is telling me.
So if I am to call myself a Christian I really ought to act more like a Christiian and come to terms with what a nut bar a Christian really is.  I’m going to have to accept that I will appear like one of those Evangelicals, and the atheists and muslims and Jews and Buddhists and Hindus will laugh at me sometimes because I do believe in Jesus.  I actually think of myself as a disciple or student of Jesus. Not any smarter than his first ones. Indeed I’m a whole lot further behind. Maybe a kindergarten Christian at best.  But still a Christian.
The Great Commission is most unfortunately Christian.  The part I like best though is the end, where Jesus says, “ And surely I am with you always to the end of the age”.  I need all the help I can get.

I am the resurrection and the life.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.  Do you believe this?” John 11: 25
This is a passage I’ve seen in various churches at various times. It’s probably one of the most repeated Christian phrases of our times.  “I am the resurrection and the life.”  is definitely a catchy phrase.  It is said that the Council of Nicea 325 ad. was when ‘reincarnation’ as a tenet of the Christian church was laid to rest.  Eastern time is considered more cyclic and western more linear.  Yet here is Jesus at the resurrection of Lazarus speaking to life after death and saying that death can be altered.  The timing of death is altered here. Lazarus dies and Christ intervenes.
I’ve felt I’ve done that repeatedly as a physician.  I’ve ‘resurrected’ people.  They’ve been dead.  I’ve ‘resuscitated” them.  God forbid we as scientists should use a laden word like ‘resurrect’.  Yet that’s been the miracle I’ve seen in my work.  I’ve pounded chests and restarted hearts. I’ve watched people who are ostensibly fully dead take that first inhalation like a new born.  I’ve had nurses with me. There have been witnesses.  We’ve altered the course of the individual life quite dramatically.  There is a whole literature in psychiatry about these individuals.  It’s recorded under the Near Death Experience title.  Dr. Moody studied the phenomena for decades. The neurosurgeon,  Dr. Eban Alexander’s Proof of Heaven is just the latest in this extensive area of research.  Another physician, whose name I don’t remember but whose talk I heard researches the ‘reincarnated’, those children who remember past lives and carry on their bodies birthmarks consistent with the scars received in previous lives.  There’s no way these children can speak other languages and remember former lives by any ‘realistic’ means.
But Jesus says that “Those who believe in me will live, even though they die, and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.”  I believe this.  I call this ‘my soul’.  It’s that part of me which transcends ‘reality’, the limits of this space. It’s the Namaste bit of god in me.  It’s the Christ within.  It’s that eternal ness I sense but have so much difficulty naming. It’s the faith I feel.
It’s kept me hoping and praying and believing in quite impossible situations. It’s the connection I’ve had with something that refuses to accept disease and death as ends.  There’s times when I do.  Elderly happy folk looking forward to death have been people I’ve gladly let go. I look to be like them one day.
I have real concern about ‘physician assisted suicide’.  I know I can change the time of death but my life as a physician has been to ‘extend’ life and increase the ‘quality’ of life.  I know that abortionists are all the rage politically. I know that we live in a death culture. I know that I don’t really discuss my ‘beliefs’ with my colleagues a whole lot. Those of us who believe in life share a certain hopefulness and faith that we sometimes complain our colleagues lack.
I see eyes that have gone dead in my work today.  As an addictions I see people who are quite literally ‘zombies’. They are walking about with a lack of ‘life’ in their eyes and their movements. They’re on autopilot.  They’re robotically looking for their next fix or they’re in another dimensional world because they’ve just had a fix.  Not all drug users.  Just those who’ve become chronic and those who sometimes have that death stare.  I like to wake them up. I love to see them come off their drugs and return to the world of humanity. I see them as born again.  Their drug has been their God and religion. Their drug dealer is their priest.  He’s or she has no faith. Money is their God.  As CS Lewis says , ‘why look in the wall for the architect’ but the materialist does this.  Seeking God , the unseen, inside job in the outer manifestation of the world in money and drugs to the end of not being here and now but elsewhere. Escaping.  Dreamlike.  Dead.  Dead eyes.  I like to see the life return. I like to see resurrection.  It’s a daily given in my work today.
But more and more there are those who lack hope for themselves or others.
I like to read this passage.  I believe.
The killers delve into their lizard and animal selves to fight.  The elite are ever at war. The whole nature of this existence is a structural violence.  They call it competition and survival of the fittest but it’s just old news. It’s animal.  What is divine is to me this other thing called ‘life’.  I believe in eternal life.
If I was an atheist who didn’t believe in afterlife, quite likely a loving God would not force that upon me.  It’s not necessary for everyone.  Emmett Fox describes God as giving people what they believe and want as evidenced by their behaviour.  So atheists who insist there is only this material world and there is no afterlife or transcendent reality but just ’tooth and claw’.  Well I think that’s what they get.  Finite reality.
That’s not my reality.
“whoever lives by believing in me’ is my reality and with that comes eternal life.  There’s a certain ‘determinism’ or ‘fate’ in the other idea of existence whereas I freely choose to believe in Jesus and resurrection so I believe in ‘free choice’ and that the ‘String Theory’ is beyond the machine like idea of the world and indeed has possibilities of infinitude and life after death and miraculous occurrence. The Multiverse with it’s infinite dimension and present idea of time has the same possibility. It’s reasonable in this regard to believe in eternity and afterlife and resurrection.  Dr. Mario de Beureagaard, the neuroscientist, who wrote Spiritual Brain, indeed describe those others who believe in a lesser world as ‘pseudoscientists’.
The makers of the UN Agenda 21, lack faith and have that IPCC fear based money oriented outlook.  Their industry is ‘fear mongering’.  There’s no ‘peace’ in their hysteria or in their demand for money.
I’m no so sure about that.  All around me I see death and rejuvenation.  I see the winter come then the spring. I see waves of changes. I see hope everywhere. I have faith but then I believe.

Delmar and the Night Lights

Tom and I had stopped by House of James for a coffee in their cozy little coffeeshop off the main book store.  Before we did that  I had to get myself a big print NIV Bible. I wouldn’t say I ‘need’ it but I certainly enjoy the easy reading compared to squinting with the little print editions.  Tom explained his fondness these days for the King James Bible so when he wasn’t looking I got him a big print King James.
Over coffee I said, “Here’s a big print King James.  I know you don’t need it yet but when you read it you’ll thank me for the easy read.”  We laughed.  We’re both over 60 and have known each other since our 40’s.
It turned out that Delamar and the Nightlights were playing on stage there that night so we waited around to hear the band. We were glad we did.

“That lead guitar player sure was something, “ Tom said later.  Tom’s a mean fiddler so when he says someone is good, they’re good.  Personally I liked the whole band sound and told the lighting guy as we were leaving, ‘those guys could play at any biker rally.”  Some country rock and blues sounds were there but mostly it was hard hitting rock that reminded me of the gospel stage at Sturges. I loved their music and hope they get a CD out soon so I can play it on the Harley driving dow the highway.
Loved the harmonies. Loved the girl voice.  But the musicians all were great.  Terrific drums and base and the organ just sang with lead guitar.  The young rhythm singer was a whole lot of fun.  Tom and I were glad we stayed.
We couldn’t stay for the second set though because I’d left Gilbert at home.  Tom headed back to Chilliwack and I headed back to Vancouver.  A great night.  Thanks House of James. Thank you Delmar and the Night Lights

Frazerway RV and John Garvey

After the BC Hunting and Fishing Trade Show at Tradex in Abbotsford we stopped in at the Frazerway RV.  John Garvey was a really good guy showing us around the Motor Homes and Toyhaulers.  I really liked a couple of really good deal Motorhomes we saw.  A whole other level of living. The 5th wheels didn’t offer much more than I already have.  They’ve got a Hurricane Toy Hauler motorhome coming in so I asked if he would call me so I could see that.  It was good to have Tom along because we could discuss the pros and cons of the various platforms for travel, living aboard and hunting. He had some good questions about the engine and performance that I’d not thought to ask.  Of course it’s a matter of money too.  The new ones are outside the price range but there is a possibility to upgrade with a used machine. The one’s John Showed us were mighty fine.  We really enjoyed all that John knew, how he answered our questions and showed us exactly what we were looking for.

BC Boat and Hunting Show 2016, Tradex, Abbotsford, BC

Derek reminded me first about the BC Boat and Hunting Show.  “Some of the guys and I are going out Friday."
I didn’t think I would make Friday.  But I told Tom about it.
Saturday morning, Tom called, “Still want to go to the BC Hunting Show?"
“Well, if you hadn’t phoned I would have stayed on the couch drinking coffee and wallowing in self pity?"
“Meet there at 12."
Okay.  Gilbert couldn’t come because they foolishly don’t allow dogs in the hunting show. He was left doing guard duty for the day.  My truck was in the shop being repaired so I took the Mazda Miata and drove out with the top down. Hot and sunny day for early spring.
Tom was already there, having driven down from Chilliwack.
Great show.  We loved the boats and sea dos and Yamaha Wave Riders.  Capella  Outfitters werethere.  Steveston Marina had the Icon radios we needed.  Great show deals so typical of Stevestons! I got Laura a pink camo skirt.  The Langley guy who does all the get your boat and ATV onto of your truck equipment was there again  this year. He’s  amazing.
We had burgers and fries.  Trade show fair.  Couple of cute country girls in square dance dresses sat near us. We'd talked with a mother and her 3 month old baby waiting for the burgers.  Asked if she was getting the little girl baby a fishing rod or a rifle, the very attractive mother said, "I think I'll buy her a rifle first."
I talked with a guy who hunted moose and bear. Told me about his buffalo hunt up Ft. St. John way.
Then we walked about some more looking at boats and motors.  Honda has a new 500 side by side 4x4 that looks like it could beat my Yamaha 450 for versatility and fun.  I ‘d like to have Gilbert on the seat beside me rather than behind me.  But the Argo amphibious machine is a whole other level of mobility.  We liked the aluminum boats.  Terrier knives were there.  Aussie boots.  Lots of camp and boating gear.  Rifle and binoculars.  I actually was taken with a set of Nikon opera glasses. Even Harley Davidson had some bikes there.  But the sweet offload on road was my Honda 250.  The suzuki 650 enduro is still sweet machine.
There were the big aluminum perfect boats and the great fishing boats, all the outboards too.  A fly tying demonstration was going on.
Rifles of all hunting kinds were being sold. Everything one could want for hunting or fishing was on display.
We really liked the new Iridium satellite safety text phones. Great safety tech.
My Vortex binoculars I got last year after seeing them at the Tradeshow were brighter than my Bushnell’s.  You can’t have enough binoculars or knives. (or boat, or atvs, or motorcycles etc). All the guides were there with pictures of their incredible sites for fishing and hunting.  British Columbia is a seriously beautiful province.

All round a great event!

Sunshine Walk Brunette River

Glorious day.  Blue sky. Sunshine.  Sunshine burning off fog. Dog romping.  Big healthy poops.  River running below.  Call from friend in Hawaii. Walking along river. Birdsongs in the background.  Another life. Another world.  I’m here with the dog sniffing everywhere.  Hurrying little feet.  More poops.  Dribbles now.  More sniffing.  No Kingfishers this morning. But I’ve seen the Kingfishers. They’ve returned another year. Tried to get their picture on the iPhone but they flitted too fast..  Distinctive bird song.  Twitter.  She’s talking hard Bible and religion.  I’m walking along the gravel. Listening. Watching the dog on the leash. He’s no longer pulling me.  The walks settled into just that.  She’s anxious. It’s sad.  I’m thinking of family.  Trials close to home.  The slog of life. One foot after another. Here the sunshine today.  We got through the winter. I felt like the ancients this year wondering if the sun would return.  Worried I’d not done just the right ritual.  The superstitious cause of ritual and myth of control.  We contain our own anxiety in the bodily perfection. Leonard Cohen wrote, “I touched your perfect body with my mind.”   What comes out of our mouth is more important than one goes in.  I still swear.  We’ve moved from bowel movements to intercourse to genitalia and still the language lags.  Smegma may yet catch on or we could return to the disease swear words of medieval times.  Pox on you  Stupidity is timeless.  Our politicians are even called idiots and stupid and then the other charges one with disrespect for handicaps.  Swear words come out as lies.  It’s insane days. If this is end days then they’re insane days.  The bars on the asylum were to keep the nuts out and protect those within.  I’m enjoying the fresh air.  The after rain air.  As she speaks I remember sailing the Hawaiian islands. I miss my sailboat.  I took my truck into have it fixed yesterday.  I’m glad for that. I finally had the money to ensure I could pay for the repairs.  I’ve ridden with the sky roof not quite closing for months now.  The power steering fluid leak has just required carrying some power steering fluid.  Unfortunately they can’t fix the winch.  She talked of diets she has for her allergies and health.  Vegan.  She talked of doctors curing cancer with diet.  Anecdotal studies my mind responded.  I have cured cancer.  Placebo cures cancer.  We all cure cancer.  But cancer is that which you can say in no other way.  It’s also a way of dying or a way of resurrecting. I’ve stolen death from people who were unhappy with me for interfering. I’ve kept people alive for family to visit. I’ve fought with God and now have trouble walking at times. A reminder. It’s an individual thing. Something to be respected.  My disease of insanity is a choice. It’s always a choice or it’s always fate.  There’s attempts to mix fate and free will.  My favourite is that which I blame is fate. That which I revel in is free will.  I respect disease. I respect the individual.  I love the communication.  Kurt Vonneguts description of us as ‘peepholes on reality’.  Jung describing the collective unconscious and we’re all looking in from the circular sphere of it all.  This life so brief a kindergarten for reality.  The afterlife the real life. It’s all belief. What we don’t know is so unfathomably huge we call it the ‘mystery’  with the respect it deserves.  God is the mystery.  I am the observer. The creator and creation are the other.  She spoke of food formulas. I spoke of forgiving.  My Jewish ambassador friend can’t wrap his head around ‘love your enemy’.  But as the Sun shines on all and God loves all so to be god like we must love all.  We argue over coffee. His life is that of a mensch.  Mine is nothing in comparison. His wisdom and grace are transparent. I can only admire him and disagree.  I am a healer and a teacher. I have followed in the footsteps of Jesus.  His footprints are there. Every now and again I see them.  A life awakens to my touch. Mere coincidence.  Statistically I took a ward where there were 30 suicide attempts a year and 10 deaths and reduced that to 10 attempts and no deaths.  They were afraid we’d lose funding in administration. No good deed goes unpunished. Now they’re bringing in ‘physician assisted suicide.’  No one can afford a baby since they made abortion so cheap.  Now euthanasia will replace the waiting room at God’s door.  Suicide bombers are hurrying to their death all the while the drug addicts are dancing with death.  And we offer them different drugs.  Drugs with safety. But the thrill is gone.  Thanatos and eros.  The dog watches a bird on a tree.  She continues to speak of ex husbands and babies and homelessness in a personal  ancient pass.  I’m reading book of India and Afghanistan and the British and Russian there.  The British are trying to stop the sail of child brides and the businessmen are angry at the foreigners interfering with profit.  Wars and guns and whisky and opium.  It’s no different today.  Gilbert watches the passing dogs. Their owners don’t want to let their dogs play. Their dogs aren’t socialized like Gilbert.  He’s rude.  Sniffs butts too long and licks a genital when it’s only appropriate to sniff.  My gay friends say I should tell everyone he learns everything from me. He’s indiscriminate anyway.  Equally likely to lick a girl dog as a boy dog and worse he’s been known to lick a butt or two.  We say it’s the French poodle in his breed. The English cocker spaniel is not at all so rude.  But he never starts a fight. He never plays bully. He doesn’t try to get his neck over the other dogs. And the insecure dogs of all breeds make war not love, trying to prove themselves like adolescents.  Dominating.  Gilbert not a fighter but he will defend himself. I’ve seen him be an amazing little acrobat , biting his way free and then loving a chase.  The bully dog furious with his quick witted twists and turns.  I’m worried though. He’s healing from his paralyzing back injury.  He still tires easily climbing stairs.  I am always protective. He’s cried when a pitfall charged him and rolled him over in an attack.  So I grabbed the pitfall off the top of him by the butt skin and neck skin and threw the dog into the face of the owner who hadn’t had his dog on a leash. I followed it up by a verbal tongue lashing that had the two sociopaths cowering away.  Gilbert was actually surprised by ferocity of his back up.  It’s happened a couple of times. Men and women who are passive aggressive and act out their hostility by walking their big dogs off leash around the little dogs.  The civilized leash their dogs when they see aggression or disproportionate size.  In the wilds the dogs would pack and sort things out becoming friends but with psychologically disturbed masters, male and female, it’s never certain the body language these disturbed people are giving to their dogs.
I said goodbye to the friend on the phone glad to be back in the sunshine walking the dog.  Hopefully listening to their litany took off some steam.  I phoned a fellow who just had surgery telling him about the sunshine and how I’d thought of him walking my dog and hoping he’d be out walking his.
Now I’ve had coffee and peanut butter sandwiches.
I expect I’ll shower.
I’m so grateful for the sun.
I think that nuclear dirty bombing of the west would create a cloud cover that would destroy the solar panel energy grid for some time.  The high winds would knock out wind power.  I grew up in the cold war. We lived with sirens and bomb shelters in my formative years.  Now everyone is getting a home nuclear weapon and they’re carrying them around in suitcases.  But coal and oil still produce energy reliably in crisis. I found that at sea.  I loved my solar panels and wind generators but in crisis the diesel engine was the saviour.  But I’ve measured energy for 30 years. It’s crazy. I still have to figure out volts and amps and storage and here I’ve changed many alternators myself and installed coils batteries and solar panels and done all that work while every ignorant energy Facebook person like DiCaprio and Trudeau and their friends call me ignorant. I’ve got to stop associating with people who only read the news and lack any experience or competence. I enjoyed generating energy to power my iPhone on a mountain last year with wood smoke but how can you translate reality for the city pot smokers who argue to be big dog because the drugs have destroyed their soul and independence.
Right now I’m enjoying propane.  I’ve been living off electricity while my friend in Hawaii told me she’d lost her electricity.  For her this mean lights. I remember when the electricity went in Winnipeg  and up north , or the furnace went and I was face with freezing because heating is a matter of life and death.  The coal plants made the electricity for the north but then we got hydro electricity and later the nuclear electricity.  I’m thankful for electricity and heat.  I was cold yesterday waiting outside in the rain for an hour for a taxi.  The dog was shivering.  It was rush hour.  If I’d not phoned the taxi I could have walked home then.
I’ve been transparent.
I taught people years ago that if you turn over a stone and find all manner of bugs and awfulness you’re actually not nearly afraid of what is there as what is under the next stone.  Most people live tight little lives of terror refusing to look under ever a pebble of their lives.  One dimensional.  Silent.  Hidden.
Mysterious?
A black man told me that the social workers know all about our families because we live in the open on the streets with no where to hide. The rich and powerful hide in their deceit.  When I fought a few of the rich and powerful I found them to be pedophiles and cowards and the dirtiest of all, canniabls that would eat Einstein and Justin Beieber and say that Justine Beiber tasted better.  I’ve known good people in authority but they’re pitted almost life and death equally with these neanderthals.
So I live transparently.  And those who hide behind thick walls and dark shades are more likely fucking the children and animals than us on the streets.
That’s not to say transparency is the answer. it’s a phase. It’s an art statement. It’s a change from the days of journalists writing high and mighty intellectual critiques judging everyone while they were stoned and fucking sheep in back rooms with vengeful pens. The lawyers and judges are like that today at times.  Parliament is televised and we see their how ‘human’ our leaders are.  The bankers are equally so. The judges too.  I’ve know judges and bankers personally and they are the salt of the earth. The doctors I trained with were collectively the finest people.
That’s what keeps me going. The idea of proportion. I believe 1 in 10 Hells Angels is probably a Christ like guy, misunderstood bad boy, struggling ethically and morally, like the media portrays him in Sons of Anarchy.  But by contrast I believe 9 in 10 police men are really stand up guys and gals.
It’s a way of thinking. There’s no idealism. I’m no longer naive. I loved the cartoon that said that picking politicians is like picking STD’s.  The taxman isn’t the saviour. Justin Trudeau and Obama and Putin and Merkel are all very narcissistic selfish people who are getting rich in their work. Hillary Clinton is a multi millionaire.  She’s covered in muck like her husband Bill.  There’s no Robin Hood or Santa.  I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny. I love the realism of the friend I made in Istanbul who told me that the people there understood politics. They knew that the people at the top got most of the gold and water but they tried to pick the one who’d let at least a trickle of the wealth get down to the people.  In Canada we are taxed to the point of slavery.  Now they have brought in Carbon Tax.  That’s Breathing Tax. That’s Carbon Dioxide Tax.  People are so ignorant scientifically that  they don’t know what CO2 is.  Now if they’d been told they was going to be an Oxygen tax they’d have paid more attention to the politics of the IPCC and Agenda 21 but that’s democracy.
In Moslem countries they’re still fighting against women getting education though in Pakistan and others women are becoming for scientifically literate than the average Quebecer.
I am simply thankful for O2 and Co2 and energy and the generator and this dog.
A friend just phoned and now I’ve a point on the day map. He’s on for going to the Outdoors show.  thank god for shower and a vehicle.  It’s a sunny day and we’re going to play outside.  Thank god for friends. I just mentioned it to him and here he is following up and wanting to get together. There goes aloneness.  I’m actually excited for an excursion.  Just wish I had the motorcycle to make it even more exciting.  That’s coming. Motorcycle weather next month.  Cherry blossoms are out. The Kingfishers have returned.  Daffodils and crocuses are up.  Soon there will be tulips.
Thank you God for another day.