Hillsong United

Laura and I arrived at the Pacific Colliseum at the PNE in Vancouver an hour early thinking we’d stop for a bite before the concert.  Already the parking lots were filling and people were streaming in large groups to the grand old building.

‘Let’s go directly there. They’ll have hot dogs there, “ Laura said.  “This is where all the big rock concerts played when I was younger. Vancouver didn’t have Rogers Arena then so the Beatles played here.”

Even though we had tickets the entrance line to pass security snaked around the building. It was a lovely sunny day with a fresh breeze off the nearby harbour.

What I first saw was colour.  Black people, white people, brown people, yellow people and red people were a poly mixture through the line and in the crowds. It became even more pronounced inside as we stood in the White Spot burger line watching the world pass through the entrance.  For those who speak so much about diversity and call everyone else racist,  usually the aetheists who use such words as a weapon, or the rainbow crowds, they’re usually white or white and brown but not at all like this incredible phenomena of true inclusivity. .  Christianity is the religion of the earth.  I see Muslims dominated by the Middle East beards and black curly hair with spattering of others in their midst.  The only place I saw such a polyglot of colour and people for Jews was in Tel Aviv one of the truly international cities in the world.  Asia is dominated by yellow.  Whole countries and continents I travel to are homegenously one or two colours and distinctly tribal. 

Vanilla is becoming another flavour in God’s great ice cream stand.  My favourite.  

The Phillipinos were out in the force here.  I shouldn’t be surprised.   Christian music is grand Karaoke.  Christians love to sing.  Our gospel says ‘in the beginning was the word’.  It’s scientific in it’s accuracy now we know the vibrations of the strings. Scientists even have looked to music of the spheres for their metaphors of life.  Here we lifted up our voices in song and praise.

Hillsong United burst into Christian awareness for me in the last 20 years.  Whenever I’d attend a singing church where the Bible is prominent I’d see a Hillsong in the repertory the congregation sang along too.  Alive, and present and repetitive, words taken directly from the Holy Bible, these Australians from down under simply got it right. It’s mesmerizing. It’s enchanting. It’s uplifting.  

Now I was sitting eating a burger and fries wondering how I ever got tickets so high. Almost needed a Sherpa to get here..  Thought I lost Laura half way up.  Began thinking of faith healing looking back at her wheezing and staggering up the mountainous stairs. I was praying my knee would hold out and I’d not spill my fries.  All around me people weren’t thinking of their stomachs but  celebrating God with song and praise.  It was so loud.  I’d arrived in heaven on the Baptist clouds with ten thousand voices singing praise, angels among them, the lamb in the room and my knee and my back hurt and  I was hungry.  I chowed down not waiting for Laura to do the final bit of this Grouse Grind.  Our God is a loving God.

In the dark  I’d found the flashlight on my iPhone and found our seats. Others were using their iPhone flashlights like candles like waving them about in the air. This beautiful pink haired woman was dancing in her seat beside me. Young people everywhere. Exuberant. It then occured to me we were definitely the very oldest people in the stratosphere.  There was no Emergency Oxygen and we really were dependent on faith and love. 

 This adorable toddler was being passed back and forth between mom and dad in front of me.  I could see the stage filled with light and love between the upraised arms.  Laura collapsed in the chair beside me. Another young woman beside her was dancing in the aisle. Behind us more beautiful young people celebrating God.

White Spot makes a great Original burger. The fries were delicious.  I know I have demons.  Laura offered me vinegar. We sat in a little huddle of delighted gluttony knowing it’s alright.  God loves us human. I had this huge Coca Cola too.  All around me people are dancing in the aisle and singing praise and the music is loud.  The whole arena is rocking.

Okay now I’ve eaten what next my being is saying. There fries are decadent.  There’s a tug inside me I notice too. A bit of me already wants to leave. This isn’t good. Sure sign I’m in the presence of God.  Not all that cozy warm feeling. Always some awe.  Laura is happy and sated beside me like a young seal. .  She’s already tapping her foot and moving to the music, a big smile on her face. She normally doesn’t like crowds. But my demons are acting up. I keep them as pets.  Silly of me.  Pride what it is. I’ve got them now telling me to get out. But it’s not claustrophobia or the masses of humanity around me. It’s the love. I’m unloveable. I’ve got bits of shame and guilt that keep me apart from fellow Christians. No one can understand me. I’m not loveable.

Yet that’s what they’re singing and the girl beside me is smiling. Laura said that the girl beside her would accidentally hit her as she danced and stopped and rubbed Laura’s  shoulder.  Spooky people.

I started to sing along. I was standing with my hands in the air thinking of Willi and Anita Gutowski and how much they’d love this. We’ve sung so much gospel together. Among the great worship teams of Saipan we sang these Hillsong themes.  I thought of Philip Ney and his love for Jesus and his campaign to save the unborn babies, crying on his knees begging Jesus to come. I thought of Bernie calling “Holy Spirit Come”.  Of course I was crying. I’m a fool. I felt like David dancing and singing for the Lord.  Hillsong opens that channel. The demons were silent in side me, anxious. Nice change for me to calm and the demons to be anxious.  Brought to mind C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters.  All the addictions and idolatries and rationalization and pride began to quiet down. I still wanted to escape but the love was holding me. I thought of my Mom beside me kneeling by my bed as a child, the her sister and her  singing praise. I looked beside me and Laura was standing and singing along.

I wouldn’t have been surprised if we had all broke into Kum Ba Ya. It was that strong a revival. Took me back to when we sang They will know we are Christians by our Love.  I’m taking pictures with my iPhone and the Australian singer on stage looks to me like Weird Al Yankovich.  I realize everyone is young and I’m feeling young. My knee and back don’t hurt and I’m dancing, dancing in my seats.  It took me a song to realize the words were flashed above the stage. I thought all these people around me had them memorized.  I’d just been to the Carrie Underwood concert and the young girls all knew the words and were singing along. This was better. I love cheat sheets. Half the reason I’m Anglican is they accept the demented in their midst and give us all weekly instructions.  We’re the people of the book.

I start reading the words and singing along.  It’s magnificent. I love the love.  I’m still crying. Tears flowing down my cheeks. Laughing.  EVeryone around me is too. The children are the best. They are there with their parents having a heck of time. Gilbert would love this. He’d be barking and chasing his tail. It’s that good a feeling. I’ve not known anything like it.  So much love. So many people singing. This is what heaven is like. It’s a piece of it here and now. A preemptive show.  A preview.  

I’m not so bad. God doesn’t make junk. Right now I can repent. I can get up tomorrow and do a better job. I love when they put up the word battles and say that I don’t have to fight alone. I’m always fighting evil alone. Struggling against the bad bits of government and the evil forces, the Satanic, the cruel and unkind, the mean and the lost and unbelieving. I’m always offering hope and being told there is none. I’m saying look at the light and being told it’s only for me and not for them. 

I’m reaching out a hand to stop a person dying and they’re spitting at me. I’m trying to help a stranger and they’re biting the hand that feeds. I’m struggling every day with adversity. I’m turning people back from the grave. I’m feeling like I’m standing on a cliff pushing individual lemmings back while the whole mass threatens to take us all over the side. I’m older too and I feel the burden of decades of being with the sick and forlorn. I’m the sinner among sinners.  I live in the hotel of God. 

 Now it’s the fentanyl epidemic. Now it’s the easier softer way of the government promises. Now it’s the ‘free drugs’.  I have a demon of self pity that eats at my happiness. Right now he’s not sticking up his head. Saint Michael is there and he’s protecting me even from my naughty friend self pity. 

I feel good and whole and wanted and loved and we’re all smiling and the music is fine and the room is rocking and the words are straight from the Bible. Promises after promises and I dont feel afraid.  My body feels like it does in a hot tub. I just feel my arms raised and my face in the biggest grin. And the woman beside me with pink hair is laughing with her friend.  We’re all laughing.  

Are you ready!!!!!!!!

Yes

Jesus.

Yes.

I buy swag on the way out. I like my t shirt. It says “There is another in the fire”.  Thank you Jesus.

‘That was church on steroids’ says Laura when we’re back at my green mini pulling out of the parking lot heading back to the burbs. “ I loved all the voices. “. She’s glowing. I’m glowing. It’s a lovely ride home. That night I sleep like a baby.  

Delmar and the Night Lights

Tom and I had stopped by House of James for a coffee in their cozy little coffeeshop off the main book store.  Before we did that  I had to get myself a big print NIV Bible. I wouldn’t say I ‘need’ it but I certainly enjoy the easy reading compared to squinting with the little print editions.  Tom explained his fondness these days for the King James Bible so when he wasn’t looking I got him a big print King James.
Over coffee I said, “Here’s a big print King James.  I know you don’t need it yet but when you read it you’ll thank me for the easy read.”  We laughed.  We’re both over 60 and have known each other since our 40’s.
It turned out that Delamar and the Nightlights were playing on stage there that night so we waited around to hear the band. We were glad we did.

“That lead guitar player sure was something, “ Tom said later.  Tom’s a mean fiddler so when he says someone is good, they’re good.  Personally I liked the whole band sound and told the lighting guy as we were leaving, ‘those guys could play at any biker rally.”  Some country rock and blues sounds were there but mostly it was hard hitting rock that reminded me of the gospel stage at Sturges. I loved their music and hope they get a CD out soon so I can play it on the Harley driving dow the highway.
Loved the harmonies. Loved the girl voice.  But the musicians all were great.  Terrific drums and base and the organ just sang with lead guitar.  The young rhythm singer was a whole lot of fun.  Tom and I were glad we stayed.
We couldn’t stay for the second set though because I’d left Gilbert at home.  Tom headed back to Chilliwack and I headed back to Vancouver.  A great night.  Thanks House of James. Thank you Delmar and the Night Lights

Lander, Wyoming - journal

This is a sweet little cowboy town.  Quilting and rifles and taxidermy in the fashionable clothing stores.  Lovely little MiddleFork Restaurant across from the friendly bookstore.  I walked about the town before stopping for a coffee here in MiddleFork.  I've decided to have eggs benedict even though I had an express breakie at the Super8 this morning.  With the stream running through this restaurant it's a cool sanctuary from the hot sun on the street. It's only 10:30 am and it's going to be a scorcher. I've enjoyed riding through cow country remembering this is the land of stage coaches, cowboys and Indians, trapping and hunting.  There's even a one shot Antelope outfitter down the street.  I love the tumble weed and craggy layered hills chiselled out of the earth by ancient rivers and land movements.  Lots of pick up trucks on the road.  In the music store next door there were ukulele guitars and lots of fine Christian music books.  I liked seeing the Amy Grant.  I've been making time on this ride doing doing hundreds of miles a day.  Today, with my destination of Denver in range, I decided I'd ease up a little.  Subsequently I've stopped to take a picture of a little church on the way down from Dubois. Now I'm stopping here for breakfast.  I was missing Gilbert on the ride, thinking how he might well have done okay with it.  The heat isn't so bad going at 70 mph.  A dog tied outside the restaurant barked happily when his owners joined him.  Brought the little one to mind.
I was thinking about friendship on the ride down here.  Someone in the last couple of days asked if I was riding alone. When I answered, "Yes." They'd responded with a quizzical expression.
I've always had friends and done a lot with them.  Mostly though married or with a girlfriend, she has been my companion. My father was like that.  Some men have a family and a range of friends they do other things with. I've hunted and travelled some with men but like being alone too.  Guy spoke about feeling lonely after his divorce and a breakup with a girlfriend.  Much of our emotional life revolves around women.
On the road I see a lot of couples, two guys riding together, a guy and a girl on separate bikes, the occasional couple alone and the loner like me. There are a few groups 2 or 3 bikes and usually there's a girl.  I've only see a few "gangs', a half dozen bikes and they're mostly mixed.  I remember reading Jordan's book about being gay and how he said 'gay men have such difficulty being among straight men'. He hadn't realized how sensitive and deep they were but that they had a defensiveness about letting anyone 'in'.  I was surprised in a men's group how many men struggled with their sexuality, their relationships, their feelings of guilt and shame, their fears about fatherhood and being sons.  It was clear that we all share in the human dilemmas.
I enjoyed riding with Donny down to Anacortes.  Another time riding with Dr. Cho and his friend was fine.  But only a few of my friends ride motorcycle, sail or hunt for that matter. Then my schedule is always so complicated. Theirs are more often 'fixed' in a way.  It's hard enough for me with my work to keep a commitment to family plans.  I have had holidays disrupted so often.  Even on this trip I'm getting calls.  My colleague stopped taking holidays, he told me, last month, simply because the work on his return was so much greater and overwhelming.  Now he'll take a few days off but mostly is life is his work. My other clinician friends tend to use their getaways for relaxation time with a woman friend.
I'm a loner in that sense.  I'm riding along missing my dog.  I didn't shave this morning.  Quick shower and hurried getting ready, to a quick breakfast and now I'm a couple of hours down the road enjoying this break. When I'm with others I always seem to be 'waiting' or going slower or taking it easier.  Alone I drove yesterday through hellish heat, horrid downpours with rain that bit my face, then cold high altitude riding with the road covered in mist at times.  I tried to find accommodation but the lodges were full and I almost camped but that would have required going off road some and my fear was the campground would be full.  In the end I was "rescued' near midnight by the Super 8.  When this has happened when women were along they've 'blamed' me and been angry with me, as if I caused the rain, the cold, or the accommodation being full.  Other guys gets somewhat irascible or hopefully have the black humour that such miserable conditions deserve. But even they, like myself, can be ornery. Alone I figure I don't inflict myself on others and I'm freed for a space from their negativity. I deal with so much fear and negativity in my work.  Countless times I feared going off a canyon edge taking a wet corner a little too fast though I'd slowed down. I could worry or just try harder next time to get the angles and speed right with the ever changing and often dangerous road conditions.  The 'bullet has to have my name on it' though I don't want to encourage death.  The trials of adventure and expedition are part of the overall excitement that heighten prayer life and make one feel truly alive. I suppose smart people really would just lie on the beach and stay in 5 star hotels.  I learned from a woman last week that her idea of 'travel' was taking bus tours and going shopping in malls.  I have to remember that when I think of travel it's been bicycling a cross europe, hitchhiking across Canada, driving and camping north america, sailing solo to Hawaii in winter and now motorcycling across the cowboy territories of the US eventually ending up at Sturgis I hope.  It's a different sort of travel.  Most people like the 'idea' of my kind of travel but they don't do it .
I could see bringing my RV to Lander. There's lots of massage and physical therapists in the town making me think that a lot of retired folk with arthritis or rheumatism come her for the hot and dry.  I wonder what the winters are like. Probably similar to midwest Canada but more south I'd think they'd be shorter and more enjoyable as a result. Lots of snowmobile trails signs on the way down to Dubois from Yellowstone.
I wonder if I'll stay in Vancouver if I ever retire.  The cost of housing and the risk of theft is so high I wouldn't want to be living there among all the drug dealers on a fixed pension.  I'd like to retire where 'theft' is considered wrong and not a 'necessary' or 'clever' occupation. I'd like to be among peoples who shared my morality rather than considering my generosity and truthfulness stupid. I guess at some level, when I look at older age and vulnerability I don't want to be in a place where I'm not allowed a gun and must be among criminals who have guns and don't respect the laws.  But then I think of Canada fondly, my home and native land.
Lander looks like a sweet country town. Reminds me of the places I worked as a physician and psychiatrist in the country. Probably lots of gossip but all the pleasures and beauty of small town living.  I did like the man that said Denver was just too busy.  Says a lot about cities in general

Third Day - Langley

http://thirdday.com/
 I first heard the band Third Day at the West Coast Biker Church. I couldn't believe how much the music moved me.  It was the very best of rock and roll with as hard hitting a Christian a message as the drums and rythm section delivered the soul.  Mac Powell's voice  was simply pure and true to me.  I left the church on my Harley Davidson Roadster that night. Laura remembers me buying my first album within days at the first Christian music store I came across.
Next I'd be sailing across the Pacific Ocean with my friend Tom. We'd break the mast on my forty foot sailboat a thousand miles from land.  With a jury rigged mast  we continued our trip. At night in storms I'd be listening to Third Day's , "There's a Light at the End of the Tunnel".  When it was darkest and I was worrying most we'd not make it through in the wee hours, that song would come on and I'd know God was standing watch beside me.  We'd be okay.
When I returned I wrote a letter to the band, probably the only time I've done something like that, thanking them for helping me in through the dark night of the soul.
When I bought my Harley Davidson Electraglide I had a sound system that came with it. Of course I had all of Third Day's albums by now and was always listening to them as I roared along. There's a lot of scripture in these songs. I loved the Creed.  I loved the old time Blessed Assurance. I loved all their songs but most of all I loved "There's a light at the end of the tunnel."
Then I heard they were coming to the West coast on their Wave tour. I couldn't see any Canadian sites online but saw they'd be stopping in Washington.  Work and so much else took up my time so I simply forgot.
Then Ryan came in one day, and knowing I loved Third Day music,  said, "Third Day is coming to Langley".
Hallelujah!
It was three days before the concert.  I had my secretary book us tickets.  Laura and I had the ballet that night but  we changed that till Saturday.
Third Day was coming to Canada. That was something I wasn't going to mis..
I worked later than I expected. Laura was waiting. I drove my new Mazda Miata with the roof down and Third Day playing on the radio. There was construction and I confess I worried we'd not be there in time. But we were and I even had time to buy tshirts before my size sold out.  Then Laura and I both loved Trevor Morgan and Matt Maher. We got the three cd set with Third Day, Matt Maher and Trevor Morgan for $25.
I already had the Third Day, Move album so now had a second.  The Langley Events Centre was packed.
In person Third Day was  simply awesome   Laura loved them. "They're such beautiful people, inside and out."  I liked that their minister travelled with them. I like the message too.  Revival.  They came down onto the floor and played some acoustic numbers before returning to the main stage.
When they were finished we were all standing applauding,  though we'd mostly be standing all along.  They came back for the encore.
And that's when they sang "There's a light at the end of the tunnel."  I cry now to think of it. I was crying there hearing it.  A bit of serendipidity and whole lot of remembering those lonely nights on watch.
Later that night Laura and I  drove back to Vancouver  feeling good through and through.  The Third Day Wave album was  playing loud on the radio.
Thank you Jesus.

Banish Loneliness

Banish Loneliness

-william hay

Banish loneliness

Banish pain

Banish loneliness and pain

Jesus, Son of God

Cast out demons

Live in faith

Let there be miracles again

Jesus, Son of God