Facing Friday Morning.

The snow is almost gone. It’s been raining steadily. Today though it’s just grey. Gilbert crawled into bed with me and lay down beside me , licking my cheek. Now he stands at the end of the couch looking out onto the street.  I am so thankful for his presence and friendship.
I so busy and overwhelmed with the office closure business. I can’t express my anger at the Landlady for renting me a suite without proper zoning. I’m equally incensed by the City for refusing to consider a psychiatrist office like a psychologist office but holding it strictly too the medical office definition. The zoning is there only related to the numbers and were it a medical office of general practice it would mean fifty people a day 5 days a week but I’ve only worked there half time seeing at most 30 patients a week.  But beurocrats have the dubious distinction of dealing with their rules and regulations never having to face reality or humanity.
It is no surprise to me that Confuscianism was countered by Daoism and Buddhism.  The Confuscists know nothing of the ‘Way’.  The bureaucrats have lost their way.
I have struggled to hold true and with the kindness of friends have found places where I can continue to see patients in clinics of friends.  Now I’m dispersed to three clinics.  I’m letting go of my staff and moving out records and furniture.  In a week I’ll see my last patient in the old place.
I’ve had these living room spaces of healing I’ve created for over thirty years.  I started though in a medical examining room. As a country gp I did my first psychotherapy and hypnosis in a room where I also lanced absesses and did examinations.  It’s like that again.  A sterile environment, functional.
Today’s beurocratcy doesn’t like couches.  It’s gone Sharia. Every man is a rapist. Every doctor is a sex offender. We’re all guilty and the ugliness is everywhere.  I have focussed solely on healing. I’ve struggled with the wonder of creation and the struggle of life.  I’ve insisted that I’m a healer and not a policeman while watching my colleagues in high places run in terror from the front lines of disease and suffering where the uncertainty abounds ,to the safety and security of the humourless committee rooms filled with cowardice and pomposity.
I am comforted though by the humans in my new surroundings. Other labourers in the healing process. We’ve not sold our souls to the policing controlling superior safety of the beaurocratic insanity.  There are more and more regulations with less and less evidence of value and less and less time in healing with more and more time in writing.  I hardly have time to look in the face of the sufferer and yet those who make the rules have long ago rejected contact with the hoi polloi.  The machines are more interesting. They love the numbers.  The human touch of hand on wrist is disgusting to them.  They develop ways and means of gathering data electronically.
We are fast becoming lifeless.
There is a death smell in the system where fewer and fewer heal and more and more give orders.  We carry a burden of disease in beaurocracy.  The cancer of the incompetence of administration is profound.  It is said that peace time is forever condemned to the corruption and expansion of the useless bureaucracy until war forces efficiency and relevance on the force with overnight paring and reduction.
I’m struggling with my resentment to the powerlessness I feel facing untreatable diseases, dying patients, dying family.  I’m alone at times in a foxhole and the messages that come in from headquathers where the perverted fatuous party goes on day and night with endless resources and countless bodies is at stark contrast to how little we have on the front.  I don’t know if it’s them I am angry with or God.
In my own dark night of the soul all I can ask over and over again is God help me to forgive the bureaucrats, their grotesque sins of omission, their Nuremberg mentalities and self righteous posturing and utter utter stupidity.  Please God forgive me and help me see them as the angels they are.  Help me again to face the disease with my patients and give me strength to stand by and touch them even as the Judges and all the august tell us to not touch, not look at, not be seen by the sick.  The sick are all lepers to this administration. Their contribution is solely abortion and suicide. They don’t like life other than their own.
But I’m raving.  I’m catastrophising. It’s just the grief speaking. It’s just another death by fentanyl that’s hurting me today.  I’ll go and talk to another person who has lost a friend and miss the person who isn’t coming today that I saw last week but isn’t coming today. So many don’t return these days and I hear they are at the morgue.

An Otherwise Shitty Weekend

It was definitely a shitty weekend. The valve on my black water sewage holding tank had closed shut. No one would fix it in situ because of the heat and tourist season.  Because of an obvious design flaw when these valves crap out, if they crap out in the closed position ,there is no way to get the crap out in the normal way. Further, when the old valve is to be removed, there is necessarily going to be some spillage before the new valve can be installed.
My friend Tom had siphoned out the tank through toilet itself.  This procedure caused an evacuation of our sweet neighbour next to us. Who would have known she had a severe respiratory condition?One whiff and apparently she turned purple and blue wheezing,choking and coughing. Tom was very apologetic. The ambulance crew was friendly enough.  That was just a whiff portend of the future.  Birds flying over died in flight  but suddenly came alive again on the ground as zombie birds that attacked  children and small animals.  The park management hinted that it would be best if l solved my leakage problem elsewhere.  There are no "Depends" for RV’s.
The last time I moved the RV was a couple of years ago when I caused such damage that it was in the shop a couple of months.  I love my Keystone Energy RV and felt such guilt for catching her slide on that nasty cement wall as I turned just a little too tightly around that very inconsiderate corner.
When we hit the highway, naturally there were high winds.  The trailer began fishtailing just like my first trailer did before it did that 360 turn  on the freeway taking us with it  before flopping over dead in the ditch and pulling my new Ranger truck into the grave with it .  Laura had been screaming "We're going to die! We're going to die!" and I hadn't thought so since I'd crashed other vehicles at higher speeds and lived through those.  Laura wasn't nearly as experienced with high speed crashing before she met me but that trailer truck event really moved her along.
Both trailer and truck were write offs . I was very thankful for having bought the best insurance.  It turned out that the second hand trailer had  been sold to me with a faulty brake system and I was exonerated for once.  That's when I began buying trailers from Travelhome and have ever been thankful. When this trailer began fish tailing I slowed right down happy that the brakes were working at very least.
I pulled into Travel Home RV in Abbotsford.   As is my normal response,  I was considering trading the trailer in for a 5th wheel.  Thankfully they had no fifth wheel toy hauler in stock.  I might have stayed married in the past if there'd been no trade ins in stock.
What they did have and suggested was a better hitch.  Again I might have stayed married one of the times if some one had suggested such an original idea.  Keeps the wife. Get a better hitch!. They really are the best at Travel Home.   For less than a $1000 I had a 4th way state of the art hitch for a much heavier trailer installed while we waited.  What a difference!  No more fish tailing and no more lurching.  No more shame about having overloaded my trailer either.
Heading up to the Coquahalla is when the truck died. It didn't suddenly die.  It just suddenly lost power.  An evil wrench icon in the Hal computer communication window flashed on saying the truck was now in the possession of the truck safety police and would only 'limp' home.   It did this once before and it was a manufacturer gasget glych in this model and year of F350 Fords. The dealer was terrific and rebuilt the engine all on warranty. The truck'sbeen a trooper for the last 50,000 km until it’s been kibitzing about these last couple of weekends. Tom volunteered  to take it to a Diesel sub-specialist who charges more than neuro surgeons. It was supposed to be perfect after they do a mechanic's voodoo dance and replaced a random part of the turbo charger.   I asked Tom if he'd checked whether the fellow voted Justin Trudeau before letting him work on my very conservative Harley Davidson edition truck.
At 60 km/hr  we made it almost to Princeton, way out  in the boonies.  We pulled off the highway at  a place where it looked like others had been dumping a variety of shit. We hoped our discharge would be minor..  The tank was sucked clean but apparently, according to the instructions, you’re not supposed to leave your valve open  for long sits because solid collects and the wet  flows over.  We thought there might be some kind of crystalline science fiction monster lurking still.
Tom got under the truck. He’d come equipped with overalls but I noticed he used my wrenches. I didn’t mind.  I was literally catatonic with the thought of reacquaintance with my own shit of perhaps 2 years previous.  What would we  say to each other? What was the etiquette? I shone the light on matter.  There were only 2 nuts that needed removing, not a particularly reassuring thought.
Tom opened the pipe and yes there was a gushing moment, that adolescent instant of blushing release. It wasn’t a whole lot in terms of sludge but the odour was noteworthy.  The paint on the RV peeled and nearby trees wilted.  Squirrels developed rasping voices.
While Tom was swiftly putting in the new valve,  more birds fell from the sky.  Much to our amazement little creatures and insects descended en mass on the  discrete effluence, this purified treated and conditioned human waste.  I’d added all manner of enzyme and  RV treatment to it  hoping that might help appease the pouting valve..  These little creatures r began instantly consuming this exotic substance and instead of dying took on hulk like Lilliputian appearance of Olympic Russian athletes,  their little bodies steroidally swelling before our eyes.
We both washed. excessively, after the event. I had only been in splash range but no amount of soap and water seemed enough.  I was glad for the shower.  I did shit in the now functional toilet. I very much enjoyed this important throne moment in the privacy of my home. If I was Justin Trudeau I suppose I would have taken a selfie but the thought never crossed my mind.
Neither of us had much appetite after the experience.  We did feed Gilbert well if only to discourage him from his French tendency to ‘mange de merde’.  Half poodle, half cocker spaniel, we blame his rude behaviours on the French side of his nature.
That night with the RV generator supplying electricity we watched a black and white film of the Tobruk defence in WWII starring a very young Richard Burton.  Tom and I felt that in our own way we had brought the RV through a long and shitty siege and prevailed despite overwhelming odds.
 It was great to awake in the wilderness having my very own toilet to relieve myself at, no longer fearing overflow.
Tom, of course, got to use the facilities too but Gilbert was left to the outdoors.  As a connoisseur of butts we thought the previous night’s experience with the RV  would have raised his appreciation for the Keystone Energy, in his doggie mind.
Given the trip was downhill the truck engine gave little trouble on the way home. Tom amazingly parked the RV without doing major damage. I really thought that was very good of him.  He’s planning on getting the truck back to the guys to find out why it was still acting so shitty.
Now that he's gone, I think I’ll just sit on the throne.  It's not that I need to go but it feels so good.

Resentment, Forgiveness, and Justin Trudeau

I haven't been personally so disturbed by someone since I was divorced. I remember I couldn't stand the way the ex wife spoke.  She was stoned and would try to appear normal. I knew her so well that I knew when she was being dishonest.
It's the same way with Trudeau.  I just think he's not present.  I want to drug test him every day. I remember Reagan saying, "you can drug test me any day".  Yet here's Trudeau whose admitted to criminal behaviour, breaking the law, with marijuana use, first as a teacher and then as an MP. 

But the issue is my reaction to it.  I'm clean and sober and I did the same as he did. I was every bit as arrogant and megalomaniacal as he. I remember thinking as I smoked a joint that I was 'special'. I was above the law. I was part of the 'insider' group. I was buying dope from physicians and smoking dope with doctors and lawyers. I was 'in'.  I was 'above the law'.  I had arrived.

That's the distinction between alcoholism and addiction.  The alcoholic isn't breaking the law. He may break the law once he's loaded but he's not breaking the law when he gets loaded.  The addict however 'intentionally' sets out to break the law.  Every time he lights up a joint or crack pipe or smokes heroin or shoots heroin he's thumbing his nose at authorities.

I understand it must have been very difficult to have a distant father like Pierre has been described, a rather cold fish with emotional difficulties. His wife and the mother of Justin was absent with her drug addiction so the poor guy grew up loaded with all the red flags that go with mental illness. Stalin's wife killed herself. Paul Johnson's classic book, "The Intellectuals" records the life histories of the highly intelligent men who were equally lacking in emotional intelligence. I get all that. I personally am normally empathic.

But I'm afraid. I'm taught when I have a resentment to question how this is personally affecting me.  First is the person having a negative  effect on my financial security. Well, yes. I think with Trudeau throwing around money like a drug addict does giving away the countries savings and buying votes left and right that I'm not going to have any old age security.  I'm old and fearing I'll never be able to take a break from working.

Unlike Trudeau I've worked since I was 16.  I've worked the equivalent of three jobs for thirty years and lived under the Liberal government for most of those seeing all the wealth of western Canada being stolen by Quebec. That's the legacy of Pierre Trudeau.  I remember liking his carnation and how naïve I was politically when I was caught up in Trudeaumania back before anyone knew how many hundreds of millions of people had been killed by the Communists.  The left wing made the right wing Nazis look like beginners when it came to extermination of it's citizens.  We didn't know this till the fall of the Wall.

Pierre Trudeau's communism was exotic in the 60's and 70's but when the Berlin Wall came down in 1989 the lies of the left became available for everyone.  It turned out the USSR economy was built on the slave labour of Gulags.  Today everyone hears about the American prisons but forgets that Communism everywhere depends on slave labour.  China's gangster society with hundred millions deaths and countless slave labour is the latest lesson in left wing politics.   Now we have another Trudeau and communists kill or imprison any one who disagrees with them. Further the fact is that Hitler was a reaction to Stalin.  Communists begat the Nazis.  Read history.

So I fear Trudeau, personally, because I fear and always have feared Police States.  Canada is daily now moving into a worse police state.  Our basic rights are evaporating and the only ones who can afford the courts are the rich.  The Poor and the Middle Class are daily more disenfranchised. Freedom is such a rare and vulnerable luxury which so few in the world have and yet its loss occurs so easily.  Hitler took over Germany within a couple of years. Trudeau wants to change the way we vote.  He threatens every freedom Canadians have won over many many years.  His father's dynasty is the destruction of western Canada and the English.  The only real winners are the courts and Quebec.  Now the Charbeaneau Commission tells us Quebec is ruled by mafia and bike gangs.

So I'm afraid.  I'm afraid of Trudeau and those who are beehind him. 20 years as a Liberal I became disillusioned by the corruption in the Liberal Party and in Quebec.  I left all political association.  

So yes I'm afraid. Fear is the precursor of resentment.

My second question is, after money, what about personal status. My own personal status and my sexual life as well are declining with age.   So yes here' this young punk flaunting his sexuality like a cheap whore showing off his tits and pects.  

I remember Kim Campbell just showed her shoulder .   The women were furious that the PM position would be won by flagrant sexual sales job. Yet now 50 Shades of Grey is the female rage and women are filling the treatment centres for addiction. Myra Cyress and the Kardashians are the new female superstars.  So everyone adulates the bimbo boy PM.

The standards for social behaviour are plummeting and I'm no prude.  But as I've paid the equivalent of a million forfeigt as a consequence of smoking dope, I've paid the equivalent of a million dollars for using the F word. I didn't lie like Pierre did .  Pierre Trudeau said he didn't say 'fuck' but that he said 'fuddle dock' instead. Asked if I said fuck, I was truthful as I've always been saying I said "fuck'.

Now I'm am supposed to forgive my enemies.  I'm supposed to think Trudeau isn't bad but just a sick man.  I'm supposed to pray for my enemies.  Each day I do this.  I'm praying for forgiveness and for Trudeau and for Canada.  I'm praying whenever I'm not working or doing something else.  All I'm doing is praying because it seems a day doesn't go by without him giving a way another billion or throwing another party.

He's taxing the air we breath.  If he taxed O2 even the scientifically illiterate Canadians would figure out that he's taxing the air.  But instead he and Obama with their Climate Change Cult tax 'Carbon'.  And no one without science training figures out that CARBON DIOXIDE is air.  So Canadians are now paying Trudeau to breathe.

And I have to pray for him. I have to forgive him.. I have to learn to focus on the light and not to be distracted by his sickness. I"m taught to 'detach with love'.  Well I'm trying and I'm not doing very well.

So please God help me pray for Trudeau and forgive him.  Help me have hope for the future. Help me to look for the positive.

Now I must look for my part in it.  So God please forgive me for voting for Pierre Trudeau. Forgive me God for not listening to my father and all those other wise older men and women who saw that he was a Marxist Leninist and knew what murderous sociopaths communists worry.  Please forgive me for not listening to my mother who had no respect for Margaret Trudeau.  Please forgive me for my youthful stupidity and superiority and for smoking and thinking I was so hip, slick and cool compared older people despite my ignorance and arrogance.  Forgive me for my inexperience then and I pray now that I am wrong.  Please God fill Trudeau with your light and love.  Help me overcome my resentment as I know that resentments are just taking poison and hoping the other guy will die.  Help me overcome my fear and have faith and trust in you as you have always loved and cared for me.  I am so blessed Lord.

I know in my work I see such poverty and waste and feel so empty with so many good people suffering. I see and hear old men coming back to work as doctors unable to retire because of the rising costs. Everyday I learn of another death.  Sickness surrounds me.  Help me see the humour and find the joy in life Lord.  Don't let me be pulled down by all the suffering in Canada.  So many people I see are homeless.  The elderly are without health care.  The elderly can't defend themselves from the thieves that are everywhere now. The courts have abandoned the old here in Canada.  Every where I turn another old person is being threatened.  Forgive me Lord for my fear and identification with all these good people who worked as I did and now are lost and forgotten.

Please Lord help me forgive.  Tonight I pray for Trudeau.  May they know truth. May they know you.  May I grow in courage and have more faith and know more love.

Underground Solution to Global Warming, Environment Change and Population

All the concerns of the ‘doom saying’ environmentalists and population explosion propagandists can be solved by admitting the principal ‘problem’ is the ‘above ground cities’.
I was recently called a ‘denier’ by a  colleague scientist and was annoyed.  I don’t deny the need for change on earth but I do deny the validity of any of the silly and short sighted expensive and usually self serving solutions presented today by urban academic activist environmentalists.  They are almost all critics who live and work in the city or university and their solutions usually involve everyone else, not themselves, making the first sacrifice.  I don’t like that.
It’s is a simple fact that administration and government are hundreds of years behind the advances of scientists and science.  The lack of education of the masses is despicable.  The evidence of the mass stupidity of the planet is the nature of political debates and the presentations of the media especially the ‘talking heads’ portions.  The news commentaries are little better than the sports commentaries and now the weather man has rebranded himself as an environmentalists so we’ve yet another ‘entertainment’ device masquerading as intelligence.
In the quiet north, not the vocal south, people have been increasingly building their cities underground to solve the problems of wasteful heating and harsh environment.
The greatest risk to the planet would be a solar flare.  Skip the need for bunkers when we all felt a Superpower temper tantrum would incinerate us.
The technology is available for building mines and oil wells and amazing underground cities of the likes that Buckminister Fuller among others have envisioned for oceans and seas and lakes. Our mining engineers, the trolls of Texas, and diggers of the north, have been honing their skills in search for gold and oil. It's time to put these tracking folk to a true test.  Have them build holes to house cities.
There is room on the planet for billions more even without sending the young explorers off the planet (Columbus et al did it) leaving the ‘known’ world and going interplanetary and intergalactic.  The potential and hope for human expansion is unlimited no matter how the fearful and angry would "deny' it.  L'Chaim.  Life!!  To be or not to be!
The problem though is right now we have parking lots and roads and cities on our very very best market garden, forest, pasture land.  Where I live in Vancouver, all the best farm land and forest land of the lower mainland is now utilized for urban housing, mostly of bureaucrats and executives and office buildings all of which could be better placed underground.
There is technology today for light and air shafts and wonderful underground living even a politician would find acceptable. It is far superior to the living space on the space station that Colonel Hadfield thrived in.  Underground dwelling is not a space station. It's indeed back to our roots. We began as cave dwellers.
Our ‘hot house gas’ problem would be solved with this highly ‘green’ solution.  Put MIT, Stanford, Harvard, Yale, and all the newer universities underground.  I think there's a place for saving Oxford, already a mental museum, and sites like Jerusalem but Tel Aviv can go underground as could Cambridge.  Build a forest onto these.  Leave the White House and Lincoln Monument but put the Pentagon and all the office buildings and even the museums underground.  The Kennedy Centre's acoustics would improve underground.  
In Old England , the ‘commons’ was the area where everyone could use the ‘wilderness’ space above ground for whatever.  Instead of Central Park being a few blocks of space in miles of above ground buildings of New York,  there would be a few building and miles of Central Park.
To achieve this end, we’d simply require that no new buildings above ground be accepted in urban areas.  Every new complex would have to be underground and a forest and pastureland or commons above land would be incorporated into the city planning.  We have various city ordnances, like nuclear weapons free zones, or the ‘bike lanes of Vancouver’.  So what’s wrong with ‘no above ground building’.  No ‘sky scrapers’.  And when sky scrapers come down, a 20 or 40 story underground development goes in.  Even if we replaced the 2 and 3 level above ground accommodations with 3 or 4 level below ground accommodation the capacity of the city would multiply exponentially.
Further, all existing ‘parking lots’ would be required to have trees planted around them turning this horrible eyesore and waste into a marvellous solution, until they were placed underground and surrounded by mushroom farms.  Joni Mitchell’s song, “they paved paradise and put up a parking lot’ would be history.
No more sky rails but underground subways everywhere.   Subways built with the consideration of earthquakes and tsunamis if we really are concerned about ‘climate change’.
From this day forth, I will not listen to a ‘environmentalist’ who hasn’t converted his urban high rise office or academic building with a ‘view’ ,into a basement suite. Everyone should boycott above ground environmentalists and "deny" listening to any 'weatherman' (rebranded environmentalist) if he is not broadcasting from below ground with free range chickens running above his head.
People living in basement suites today are the true saints and heroes..  Rural dwellers also to be applauded.
Once the city becomes pasture and farmland the cost of transporting all the food from the hinterland to these obese consumer ‘critics’ would be solved. They’d get their ‘ greens’ and euthanasia fanatics hankering after 'solyent greens' would be silenced.
Even space aliens would be confounded by this beautiful planet, it's cities fully camouflaged with forest and farm lands,  without the horrible acne infestation above ground cities and suburbs. Ban the above ground urbanites and suburbanites!!!

All those people who have done horrible damage to the planet and planetary resources so they could get a ‘view’ , so their apartments and offices could sit on ‘prime real-estate’ where a farm belonged or a sheep herd,  would no longer go to environmentalist hell. Instead of shovelling shit they could shovel the earth and build a home for themselves rather than continuing to proselytize doom and gloom.  Each of us is dying but the human race has never been more alive. The world's future has never been brighter if we could only get bankers to get their heads down where their asses are and wake to the earth's potential.

And those in LA and New York and Paris and Madrid would only have to come to Winnipeg or Edmonton to learn how to live ‘naturally’ with true 'respect' for the environment.

I love David Suzuki for all he has done for Vancouver, creating jobs and building an empire but I’m not going to listen to another word until he puts his money where his mouth is and moves into a basement suite.  It’s hard to believe, but in contrast to the evolutionary advanced Edmontonians there are,  in supposedly hip and green Vancouver,  worse in Seattle and San Francisco,  actual houses that don't even have a basement.  What a horrible self centred waste. I'm not saying the owners of these obscenities should be lined up and shot ,but I do think that all houses without basements should be the first to be bull dozed to make room for the underground future.

9-11 was a wake up call. The era of the skyscraper is over. As the great poet writer of Ironjohn said , the skyscraper was the final epitome of patriarchy, it’s time for the true ‘womb’ like experience of the safe secure ,environmentally respectful , ecologically advanced underground city with the potential of countless billions more living in earth. As spiritualists have been telling us all along. The answer is 'within'. The present day womb like shopping mall may as well be underground for all the light it sheds.

Urban and suburban above ground dwellers, especially the bureaucrats, executives and academics must change in face of this concern for the environment.  They must set an example by giving up the high rise executive offices, haciendas, dachas and above ground mansions with swimming pools.

The first tax should be on executive suites.  Basement dwellers should be awarded compensation for their adventurous demonstration to their lesser evolved suburbanites that underground living is good for the human race. It has long spawned students and artists and the greatest creative minds.  When people, have risen with the Peter Principle, they have usually been given higher and higher offices where there are more and more like  ‘air heads’.  They have all manner of power but rarely think with the gravity and genius those do who live in basement suites.

Mostly we need the universities and government buildings to be buried to save the planet. Free range chickens, goat herds, vegetable lots, forests,and cows where campuses, government offices and parking lots once were.