Thursday, March 10, 2016

Resentment, Forgiveness, and Justin Trudeau

I haven't been personally so disturbed by someone since I was divorced. I remember I couldn't stand the way the ex wife spoke.  She was stoned and would try to appear normal. I knew her so well that I knew when she was being dishonest.
It's the same way with Trudeau.  I just think he's not present.  I want to drug test him every day. I remember Reagan saying, "you can drug test me any day".  Yet here's Trudeau whose admitted to criminal behaviour, breaking the law, with marijuana use, first as a teacher and then as an MP. 

But the issue is my reaction to it.  I'm clean and sober and I did the same as he did. I was every bit as arrogant and megalomaniacal as he. I remember thinking as I smoked a joint that I was 'special'. I was above the law. I was part of the 'insider' group. I was buying dope from physicians and smoking dope with doctors and lawyers. I was 'in'.  I was 'above the law'.  I had arrived.

That's the distinction between alcoholism and addiction.  The alcoholic isn't breaking the law. He may break the law once he's loaded but he's not breaking the law when he gets loaded.  The addict however 'intentionally' sets out to break the law.  Every time he lights up a joint or crack pipe or smokes heroin or shoots heroin he's thumbing his nose at authorities.

I understand it must have been very difficult to have a distant father like Pierre has been described, a rather cold fish with emotional difficulties. His wife and the mother of Justin was absent with her drug addiction so the poor guy grew up loaded with all the red flags that go with mental illness. Stalin's wife killed herself. Paul Johnson's classic book, "The Intellectuals" records the life histories of the highly intelligent men who were equally lacking in emotional intelligence. I get all that. I personally am normally empathic.

But I'm afraid. I'm taught when I have a resentment to question how this is personally affecting me.  First is the person having a negative  effect on my financial security. Well, yes. I think with Trudeau throwing around money like a drug addict does giving away the countries savings and buying votes left and right that I'm not going to have any old age security.  I'm old and fearing I'll never be able to take a break from working.

Unlike Trudeau I've worked since I was 16.  I've worked the equivalent of three jobs for thirty years and lived under the Liberal government for most of those seeing all the wealth of western Canada being stolen by Quebec. That's the legacy of Pierre Trudeau.  I remember liking his carnation and how na├»ve I was politically when I was caught up in Trudeaumania back before anyone knew how many hundreds of millions of people had been killed by the Communists.  The left wing made the right wing Nazis look like beginners when it came to extermination of it's citizens.  We didn't know this till the fall of the Wall.

Pierre Trudeau's communism was exotic in the 60's and 70's but when the Berlin Wall came down in 1989 the lies of the left became available for everyone.  It turned out the USSR economy was built on the slave labour of Gulags.  Today everyone hears about the American prisons but forgets that Communism everywhere depends on slave labour.  China's gangster society with hundred millions deaths and countless slave labour is the latest lesson in left wing politics.   Now we have another Trudeau and communists kill or imprison any one who disagrees with them. Further the fact is that Hitler was a reaction to Stalin.  Communists begat the Nazis.  Read history.

So I fear Trudeau, personally, because I fear and always have feared Police States.  Canada is daily now moving into a worse police state.  Our basic rights are evaporating and the only ones who can afford the courts are the rich.  The Poor and the Middle Class are daily more disenfranchised. Freedom is such a rare and vulnerable luxury which so few in the world have and yet its loss occurs so easily.  Hitler took over Germany within a couple of years. Trudeau wants to change the way we vote.  He threatens every freedom Canadians have won over many many years.  His father's dynasty is the destruction of western Canada and the English.  The only real winners are the courts and Quebec.  Now the Charbeaneau Commission tells us Quebec is ruled by mafia and bike gangs.

So I'm afraid.  I'm afraid of Trudeau and those who are beehind him. 20 years as a Liberal I became disillusioned by the corruption in the Liberal Party and in Quebec.  I left all political association.  

So yes I'm afraid. Fear is the precursor of resentment.

My second question is, after money, what about personal status. My own personal status and my sexual life as well are declining with age.   So yes here' this young punk flaunting his sexuality like a cheap whore showing off his tits and pects.  

I remember Kim Campbell just showed her shoulder .   The women were furious that the PM position would be won by flagrant sexual sales job. Yet now 50 Shades of Grey is the female rage and women are filling the treatment centres for addiction. Myra Cyress and the Kardashians are the new female superstars.  So everyone adulates the bimbo boy PM.

The standards for social behaviour are plummeting and I'm no prude.  But as I've paid the equivalent of a million forfeigt as a consequence of smoking dope, I've paid the equivalent of a million dollars for using the F word. I didn't lie like Pierre did .  Pierre Trudeau said he didn't say 'fuck' but that he said 'fuddle dock' instead. Asked if I said fuck, I was truthful as I've always been saying I said "fuck'.

Now I'm am supposed to forgive my enemies.  I'm supposed to think Trudeau isn't bad but just a sick man.  I'm supposed to pray for my enemies.  Each day I do this.  I'm praying for forgiveness and for Trudeau and for Canada.  I'm praying whenever I'm not working or doing something else.  All I'm doing is praying because it seems a day doesn't go by without him giving a way another billion or throwing another party.

He's taxing the air we breath.  If he taxed O2 even the scientifically illiterate Canadians would figure out that he's taxing the air.  But instead he and Obama with their Climate Change Cult tax 'Carbon'.  And no one without science training figures out that CARBON DIOXIDE is air.  So Canadians are now paying Trudeau to breathe.

And I have to pray for him. I have to forgive him.. I have to learn to focus on the light and not to be distracted by his sickness. I"m taught to 'detach with love'.  Well I'm trying and I'm not doing very well.

So please God help me pray for Trudeau and forgive him.  Help me have hope for the future. Help me to look for the positive.

Now I must look for my part in it.  So God please forgive me for voting for Pierre Trudeau. Forgive me God for not listening to my father and all those other wise older men and women who saw that he was a Marxist Leninist and knew what murderous sociopaths communists worry.  Please forgive me for not listening to my mother who had no respect for Margaret Trudeau.  Please forgive me for my youthful stupidity and superiority and for smoking and thinking I was so hip, slick and cool compared older people despite my ignorance and arrogance.  Forgive me for my inexperience then and I pray now that I am wrong.  Please God fill Trudeau with your light and love.  Help me overcome my resentment as I know that resentments are just taking poison and hoping the other guy will die.  Help me overcome my fear and have faith and trust in you as you have always loved and cared for me.  I am so blessed Lord.

I know in my work I see such poverty and waste and feel so empty with so many good people suffering. I see and hear old men coming back to work as doctors unable to retire because of the rising costs. Everyday I learn of another death.  Sickness surrounds me.  Help me see the humour and find the joy in life Lord.  Don't let me be pulled down by all the suffering in Canada.  So many people I see are homeless.  The elderly are without health care.  The elderly can't defend themselves from the thieves that are everywhere now. The courts have abandoned the old here in Canada.  Every where I turn another old person is being threatened.  Forgive me Lord for my fear and identification with all these good people who worked as I did and now are lost and forgotten.

Please Lord help me forgive.  Tonight I pray for Trudeau.  May they know truth. May they know you.  May I grow in courage and have more faith and know more love.

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