Christianity

I can sense the presence of a higher power. I know I didn’t create this world I wake to.  This morning I am in an elaborate set and ongoing story. If I created this then it’s higher power within me, like the French philosopher’s Overself.  The very idea of a creator whether within or transcendent isn’t an issue. I don’t feel alone. I am here with my dog but there’s also a sense of something more with awareness as I have awareness.

I have a story of the Bible that I wake each day with.  Jesus Christ.  Son of God.  I have this idea that God, the creator, gave his son to the world.  I imagine a factory owner sending family in to check out the project. I have no trouble with that.

Even the virgin birth doesn’t cause me concern.  Miracles abound even though much later we may retrospectively ‘explain’ them with science as yet unknown, a miracle in its self.  The world is unfolding like a story.  So I believe the Bible thus far.  

I’m not sure of St. Paul.  He carries some blood sacrifice ideas and seems to have Jesus as a fatted calf.  I don’t follow that. There was the Old Testament story of the rejection of child murder for God so the ‘explanation’ that God would ‘sacrifice’ his son.  I don’t know.  I have no difficulty with Jesus as Rainbow. His death is like a cosmic event following the flood. I see the symbolic significance.  Perhaps that’s the death of children event. Jesus loved little ones.  

I don’t like that there are no dogs and cats in the story.

I have no difficulty that man, the government and church and foolish men in groups, would crucify the emissary of God.  I had a vision of the solar system having a beware sign for teens joy riding space mobiles. “Don’t go there they kill God.”

So I believe that the message is that we need to be less murderous yet still the world revolves around killing and weaponry rather than healing and growing.  Governments waste all resources to build more guns and ammunitions.  Barbarians.  I like the Tibetan monks and the Christian monks and Merton and St. Francis. All these people are ‘peaceful’ .  I believe that’s the message of Jesus, love and peace.

C.S. Lewis’s describes well the message of ‘love’.  The Trinity is that two, Father , son and Holy Spirit as opposed to just ‘one’ god, the personhoods of god and the family of god and love.  It’s definitely more together .

Today I strive to serve God. I am a cog in the wheel, diagnosing and providing medications for the various concerns, a modern day shaman.  Collectively we are more successful than ever before with more people living longer and the number who encounter starvation still a mere fraction of what it used to be.  There is such reason for hope despite the rhetoric.  The ‘Cold War’ did not lead to mutual annihilation.  The world ending prophecized by the climate change cult hasn’t occurred despite claims for decades and decades.  

We’re muddling along and more are gaining enlightenment with meditation and prayer. I meditate and I pray to know Gods will for me and have the power to carry that out. Now I’ll walk the dog.

The Zoroastrian’s had dogs.  The dog is the oldest companion of man.  But I like the donkey. I wish I could have a donkey like Jesus did. My dog would like the donkey companion but we have a motorcycle.  AI doesn’t have ‘presence’ .  Everything is God. We are in God and all is God.  It’s just easier to know God in the living flowers rather than the rock.  God is present in all.  The friend God is Jesus. Jesus Christ mans God within and God will come again. I seem to be play hide and seek with Jesus and also ping pong with love and fear.  This too will pass.  Life and death.  The contrasts create the meaning.  

Magnolias at Anil’s 

He told me how he planted them some 15 years ago.

What wonder!

Cherry blossom streets in Vancouver.

 

Anti-authoritarianism and God

I’ve woken up again into a complex world of form and colour and sound. I don’t recall making it. I don’t know how to create it myself. I’ve a memory I don’t know how I came by but it remembers things much the same as they were from yesterday.  The dirty dishes are in the sink. I’ve got the same number of hands and feet and such.
I exist. I’m the perceiver here. But I don’t know who or what created this space and stuff and my mind and senses and such.  I don’t seem to be the author of my own existence unless I’m already demented and forgot some special powers I had and don’t seem to have now.  It’s way beyond 3 d printing. It’s a life I’ve got and I don’t really know how that’s come about. There are Ideas I have and hypotheses but none of it is really better than bullocks.
I like Buber who described this experience as I and the Other.  There is a sense of separation.  Me and this computer. Me and this air about me.  I see at least in a dualism of sorts.
Now because I’m humble and don’t have the capacity to create reality out of thought to the best of my knowledge I grant the existence of a creator.  Some “other” that made or is this world I, my limited self, this ego, have woken up to.  I think the aethesist are weak minded and don’t give thought to this basic dilemma of existence.  I’m here waiting for Godot and they’re going on about there not being a God while I’m in awe and gob struck by the table and the chairs and the mundane sacredness of existence. When I stepped outside it was even more awesome.  I have this little dog to and he’s utterly curious about everything like any minute he’s going to find the answer. Now I appreciate that for decades I’ve been looking for the creator and had but glimpses and experiences.  I’ve not actually met some black momma or white dude in a cloud.  I’ve just felt safe and secure and not alone. I have this sense of a positive entity. This other is kind enough to share this creation with me.  That may be projection. That may be a wishful thinking.
My aethesist friend would say that when he wakes his bed has ever been there. The Multiverse dimensional reality forever and to forever may have existed in all it’s complexity as is with my sole preoccupation making sense of it.  But my other friend once a gold loving light hearted person is now heavy hearted and philosophical in a tedious sort of way.  So I do like the humour of the god folk.  They’re less wicked than those who seem like wankers. We meet and congregate and share our faith.  For it is faith.
I’m anti authoritarian with the creator as much as I am with everything and everyone else.  I object that I woke today to my own place with the dirty dishes of last night and wish that this space was a self cleaning entity.  I have a number of complaints like the aches and pains in this body.  My memory suggests that they follow from my over use strains and even abuse of this body but still I wish a creator would grant me a new pain free body.  And I don’t like the aging experience much so I would rather be think and wrinkle free and no longer have grey hair.  I’m anti authority about those things. I have a memory of an unappreciated younger self that ran faster and jumped higher. I’d like that today.  So despite the ignorance I have of this whole of creation I’m critical and even think that I could do better. I may do sit ups today and remedy some of the problem but it’s still much easier to be negative and wait for a magical solution to my minor discomforts.
I haven’t even got around to considering that this other might have a ‘purpose’ for this wonderland I’ve been gifted with.  I don’t even know if I have a purpose. I have yesterdays plans and goals and all the relationships in my memory but this is a new day.
I fantasize that I could pack and grab the dog and head off to a war zone with a sniper rifle and play out the game I watch on tv and play in games. I could buy a romance experience with a slim young erotic person like the literature that is so popular in the culture.  Love and war.  Instead I will have another Kaffkasque day living a Camus existence celebrating life in a mundane sort of office way talking to be people about life and why to not destroy themselves or other while they’re trying to figure things out.  Everyone is quite hysterical.  There’s even these television and computer news files that show strangers having all manner of insanity, talking heads and drams and music and sports.  It’s amazing what people get up to in this prison of life without really knowing anything about the ‘why’.
I’m fascinated with the why and sometimes shout in the night in the woods at God ‘Why’.  I’m anti authoritarian then.  I’m not as filled with acceptance at times when I’m experiencing pain in this body or fear or worry. I remember this is a little ball I’m sitting on and it is spinning around a sun in a galaxy somewhere at the arse end of the universe.  Its not like I’m in the centre of anything but my own mind where I appear I am a legend.
Today I will try to be less anti authoritarian.  I know I’m appalled at the so called ‘political’ leadership and the ‘bankers’ and ‘lawyers’ and ‘eurocrats’ that are enough to make anyone want to escape to reality tv.  It astonishes me in the news that there can be such corruption and greed and waste and narcissism in this democracy.  I feel like it’s a riot or a farce but then I have to ask what really do I think of this existence I’ve just woken up to. The metaphor I use seems so much to define my feelings about it.  It’s entertainment and distraction.
I feel I’ve been here a long time and still don’t know whose life this is.  I know there are abortions going on daily and people being killed and thieves stealing food but right here and now I’m still not knowing really truly whose life this is.  I have hypotheses and  I have faith but today I’m really going to focus on the authority. I don’t think it’s me.  The author of this life could have been me. One theory says that we get together between these reincarnation lives in a place called the bardot and there we write these existences.  I may be meeting with some of the other script writers today and we don’t knows. That’s the Cloud of Unknowing. It really wouldn’t be fun if we knew everything.  So yes I may die to day but death is just an awakening to true life.  That’s my favourite thought. I’m less afraid and angry when I think that.
Now despite being anti-authority and angry that I have so many limitations and inadequacies, I don’t fly, and I’m not the worlds greatest lover, richest, most sensitive, wisest person, but rather mediocre, instead, despite all this I am going to talk to this other in a way I remember is called ‘prayer’.  I’m going to ask that today be special and that I come closer to knowing whoever or whatever is behind my waking today here and now. I also want to do what is best for me today that I may be of most service to whatever the grand scheme is.  I don’t want to be whining and complaining and pushing back but rather I’d like to go forward with a bounce in my step and a smile on my face. I ask God, because I chose to call the other God, that God be with me and guide me and show me the Way.  Thank you God for this awakening today, for the bed and warmth, the little dog, this body, the toilet and the food. Thank you.  Now I’m going to use the shower. I I seem to recall this is one of the greatest creations of all time and always gives me joy as this thing called coffee has given me joy. Thank you.