Surrender

AA teaches that we surrender.  We cease fighting everyone and everything.  Righteous anger is a dubious luxury in those in recovery.

I probably wouldn’t have joined AA a quarter century ago if it weren’t for reading that American soldiers continued to fight the Nazis in Italy while remaining sober in AA.  I did not believe e in pacifism. I believed in self defence.  I feel Trudeau is attacking Canada and Canadians and has placed himself above the law.  But is it my fight? 

 In my work and personal life I’ve met hundreds of individuals personally harmed by communism first hand.  Even as a representative to youth parliament I spoke out against communism in my 20’s in the Ottawa parliament.  Even now my patients have described Communist Chinese police and military in Canada spying on our soil and threatening citizens who speak out against the latest invasion of Hong Kong by the communists.  When I met with the Dalai Lama he was still speaking against the genocide of Tibetans by the communist Chinese, the invasion and ethnic cleansing of the local Tibetans replacing them with Communist Chinese.  

The Uyghurs continue to be imprisoned and the organs extracted for communist Chinese officials,  It’s like Auschwitz continues, but in China.   I read Solzinitzin ‘s Gulag about the slave work camps in Communist Russia.  My colleague survived the Concentration camps of the communist Pol Pot.  The Cambodian communists murdered millions, half the population of Cambodia.  I listened in horror to his personal story and his individual courage.  I was just in Ethiopia where I heard of the horrors when then the Communist overthrew the government and killed so many before they were again overthrown,  I talked to survivors sitting and sharing in the churches I was visiting, 

Working with refugees from Communist regimes I heard first hand accounts of torture and terror.  It’s horrifying to know that Trudeau has invited the communist Chinese military to train on Canadian soil while he treats Canadian veterans and hero’s with utter disdain and disrespect. 

I am taught, Let go and Let God. Having a resentment to Trudeau  is said to be like taking poison and hoping the other guy dies.  I am old. My back hurts,  I’ve given my life to service and caring for others. I’m the original hippy.  A peacenik  I don’t want a war.  Make love not war.  As a Christian I am taught to pray for my enemy and turn the other cheek,  Jesus’s disciples were armed and his message appealed to Centurions.  I loved. CS Lewis’ Christian messages to the troops on BBC.  The fight against fascism was like the fight against Communism.  Christians are slow to anger but the disciples were armed and defensive and protected the women and children in their midsts from the robbers, murderers and kidnappers in their journeys.  

Though my father was Air Force and my uncle Military Police I chose medicine and healing. If the Vietnam war against the Communist north Vietnamese as a proxy war was expanded  by Communist China I’d work as a doctor not as a shooter. The Korean War in which Canada was so successful and admired was another Communist Chinese Proxy War.   Korea was divided with the north still firing missiles over Japan and over Guam where my friends live. 

Communism is the ideology of perpetual war.  Yet even Putin claims his ‘invasion’ of Ukraine is ‘defensive’.  There is no truth in Communism.  Whatever the Central Communist Committee says is true.  With the fall of the Berlin Wall and the exposure of the Stazis files the reality of the massive deceit and terror in Communism was again exposed,  

CSIS says the Communist Chinese have infiltrated the Canadian Education, Media and Government to the highest level, 

Jesus commanded ‘do not be afraid.’  Worrying in wicked. I’m admittedly anxious but I lived under the threat of Cold War.  We did drills during the Kennedy Missile Crisis curled up as children under desks and by school walls,  When the city siren went off we filed to the basement of the Hudson Bay fearing separation from our fanily.  Our city was just north of the American missile sirens on the direct route of the first strike Communist Inter continental nuclear missiles,

Communist China’s latest missiles are aimed at the west coast and can and will strike Vancouver and Seatle,  Xi Jing Ping has threatened this.  Once again I’m living in a nightmare with Trudeau singing Queen at the death of Queen Elizabeth a monarch and world leader I had so admired,  During WW 2 she stood up to Fascism and would stand up against the Communists. She worked as a mechanic in the war effort.  Pierre Trudeau flew Nazi  flags , trained in Communism in Russia and celebrated Communist Castro.  His son celebrates Xi Jing Ping.  

I probably have PTSD still. I have waves of anxiety and need to accept that God’s divine retribution will take care of Trudeau.  I wouldn’t want his karma.  I need to let go and let God.  

What’s also true is I really haven’t much of a clue about Trudeau or the Liberals today because it’s all hearsay.  Elon Musk has exposed how warped and bizarre Twitter became with the FBI with Hillary’s campaign creating a false Russian disinformation dossier and deciding what and who could be heard.  Conservative voices were blacklisted like in Canada.  The CBC and other Canadian media have been bought by Trudeau so they are little more than government public relations,  Canada’s “People’s Daily’.  With all the misinformation and disinformation in the media, Trudeau might well be a good guy, just another victim in the horror show of Canadian politics with Communist Russia’s war in Europe,  Communist China’s war in the China Sea and Covid leaked from the Wuhan lab. The Pangolin were falsely accused along with the wet markets which didn’t sell bats.   So whose to know if what we are told is Trudeau, is Trudeau. Maybe the actor is replaced by an actor.  Reality is crazier than fiction,  Who is the real Justin Trudeau?  

I believe those I know personally have sufferd at the hands of the Communists.  I have seen and touched their scars.  I may be a Conservative Canadian today but when I drank and smoked I was a liberal. Today I have liberal friends and know so many who are pro Liberal anti Trudeau.  I even have patients who know Trudeau and swear by him. Just as I met Turner and Chrétien and Harper and swore by them they swear by Trudeau. They see him as loose and a flake but not inherently evil, At most what Lenin called a ‘useful idiot’.  So why am I doing feeling such negativity for him.  Isn’t it as much my counter transference issues.  

I didn’t cause Trudeau, I can’t control Trudeau, And I can’t cure Trudeau,  God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (Trudeau) , the courage to change the things I can (me, my attitude, my fear and resentment). And the wisdom to know the difference,  

In my work I ‘ve had guns pointed at me, Ironically by criminals and police.  I was held hostage and my life threatened so badly I have nightmares still so admittedly a lot of the media and threats and fears of the last few years have touched and triggered me. I’m blessed to have colleagues and friends who have supported me, I have my faithful little dog Madigan and Laura has been a comfort along with my family whose lives are so creative and loving,

I do listen all day to patients who are suffering mostly these days from inflation and negligence and lack of resources.  It’s getting harder every year to be on the front lines, working in the complaints department of life. .  I can only empathize with those who escaped communist countries and are here seeing their safety once again threatened,  Younger I was better at carrying on but older I find it harder to forget the stories of the victims of communism.  Hundreds of millions were murdered in the USSR and similar numbers by Mao in the communist cultural revolution which began as ‘cancel culture’ and ‘gag orders’.  Any doctor who disagreed with the horror of totalitarianism  was called schizophrenic and locked up in the Russian asylums. When I was a member of Canadian Civil Liberties and Psychiatrists against Political Abuse I heard so many first hand accounts,  Only a decade ago I was asked to go to China as a missionary psychiatrist meeting with Christian psychiatrists and hearing first hand the horrors of the Communist Chinese regime. 

Today my back hurts.  I fear its anger turned inward. I believe everything is psychosomatic.  I simply have to let go and let god and pray for my enemies,  I’ve found when I pray for my enemies I don’t want to do that so I stop thinking about them. It’s time, Trudeau doesn’t need anymore Fuddleduck Trudeau sentiment. Today I’ll start praying for him, He and his fanily do need prayers. Mostly I need to stop fighting everyone and everything,  I have to surrender and accept my position is overrun.  

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou aren’t with me,  

Hallelelujah!