Gratitude

I’m thankful to wake another day.  The little body of my dog, Madigan’s, is curled up next to me. It’s a new day of useful work. I’ve heat and running water.  I can shower today.  I have work, virtual, after going to both clinics in person this week.  I still wonder which is easier. Each has it’s pros and cons.  

I have trials still. I ask God for the help and resolution of these,

1. My one toilet has been dysfunctional now since the big freeze. That’s a month now. I replaced the frozen water line which had contributed to that mayhem.  Finally the heated commercial hose arrived. I have that now.  I’ve suctioned the toilet and hoses and it’s just waiting for a blockage repair, possibly a new valve needed.  Please God see this completed.  It troubles me that it’s prolonged.

2. I lost a hearing aid at the clinic.  Possibly taking off a mask.  When I have resentment negative things happen,  I no longer care for the masks, There have been many things like this that I’ve accepted and tolerated but the persistence with little evidence and so many other apparently greed driven factors and political aspects wear.  Invasions of military aged immigrants.  That’s how George described it before he died. I miss George and our soul dinners and White Cliff and our church tourism,

3.  I have to get Madigan groomed.  The groomer half finishing leaving him looking like a clown dog was disappointing. She said he was ‘hurting’.  Wanting him sedated. I have an appointment with his vet.  One more activity with a schedule already overwhelming.  I have time in the evenings because I’m just watching tv and working, exhausted at the end of the day.   When am I to find time to see the Vet and then arrange for another groomer and have a trial of therapy.  It will work out. It does but it’s all a bit overwhelming

4.  I ‘m continuing to work and make money that pays these costs but the costs are skyrocketing with inflation.  The evidence is overwhelming that the inflation is ‘government made’ and they want to blame us for ‘climate changer’, a lie of the UN IPCC.  I’m wearying of the evil.  I must surrender and gain acceptance and trust in the Lord.  The evil of these theives wildly wasting money on man made crisis and greed and evil, The disclosures of the released Twitter files are as damming. The collusion between communists and sharia terrorists against democratic west is extraordinary, the FBI working for the Democrats against the Republicans in the last elections,  Davos,  All these hostile forces and lack of justice.  I am paying so much more for basics and feeling there will never bear security financially and savings and responsible disciplined behaviour is punished because one evil people like a trust fund stoner PM who claims that ‘budgets  balance themselves’. I’m weary of watching the constant private jet partying and holidaying and all the scandal corruption and unethical behaviour.  Each month all the money goes.  Yet I had that wonderful time at Harrison and was even able to share but frankly it’s medicinal and while I felt relief and peace at the end I returned to the anger and blame and soul sucking even worse than before.   Whatever spiritual strength I gain seems to be witnessed by demons in the depressed and I’m under renewed attack.  I pray all day and go to war against evil as my job. The old medieval language more appropriate than the modern psychological language.  I’n like a man who gains some little wealth and suddenly the hoards are there attacks and steal from the golden goose. Ican’t channel happiness and peace enough to meet the increasing demand, anger and entitlement,  I’m at the front and those who sacrifice me and my kind of care givers are laughing their way to the bank.

Yet I’m struggling

5.  My back hurts and I walk like an old man on egg shells sometimes tilted and unable to straighten up out of the car.  My vanity is worse than the constant pain.  I’n reminded of the decades of pain with intermittent relief.  The strugglers with the violent in the institutions and lifting bodies,  No time to warm up.  Despite all the best prevention and training the strains and tears and the plane crash and TB and all the weight of responsiblity and the demands without resources,

It’s thee self pity and resentments,

I told a friend at a meeting last night that it had become so bad that I’d prayed that Trudeau got a Lamborghini. We both laughed. He knew about ‘praying for your enemies’. And expelling the demon of resentment, that poison you take hoping the other guy dies. 

Now God those are the struggles, I’ve also an invasion of ‘stink beetles’.  I feel like Egypt and would expel the Jews without their killing our first born,  I’ve painted blood on the door.  It increasingly becomes supersitious and insane when I see through the propaganda and corruptions, All so far about my pay grade.

Another day. I’m grateful. I’d like to live to see justice for those perpetrators. I’d like to see homes on the moon and Mars,  Mostly I’d like to see Media overhauled. I’m so tired of the People’s Daily CBC.  Always the bullies and instigators are claiming victimships.  Gaslighting and woke. Cancel culture and entitlement. 

I want hope God.  Help me trust in you and see more the daily wonders and all the good that happens each day when the sunrises and the days grow longer, Thank you for these warm days and return of the sun.  Thank you that I continue to struggle forward even if it’s so slow and seeningly like Sisyphus with threats abounding,  

Thank you Lord for life,  Thank you for a new day,. Help me to do my part, Help me to maintain faith in face of the vicisstues of life.  Help me to continue to care for others and see your hand in all things,  Thank you for all your blessings,  

The doctor is in,