Faith, Lust, Attachment, Addiction, Gluttony, Sloth

I was moved by faith.  Cogito ergo sum, I think therefore I am.   It was heady stuff to be an intellectual as a young man, reading philosophers, debating, studying logic and rhetoric.  Later I’d study theology.

Patajali was the wisdom teacher of the east.  I liked Trungpa, the Buddhist leader best.  The idea of attachment to this world was central.  Buddha taught desire is the root of suffering.  The Christian theologian said life is suffering unto death.

I was interested in addiction and addiction medicine.  Emerson the great American pragmatist was less obscure and rarified than the European intellectuals who sometimes seemed caught up in words.  I appreciated studying Jung that the ideas he was proposing were so original it was difficult to find words to describe them. Later I’d know the ideas thanks to his crude mapping,  I felt more and more I could ‘skip the intro’

Buber described the sense of I and Thou following I and It. That I am not alone. God called himself ‘I am”.  I’ve studied the various origins of the names of Gods and people,  Most tribes simply call themselves ‘the people’.

I have a life long list of associations with attachments like family, friends, colleagues, dog,

Paramahansa called this world ‘maya’, ‘illusion’ , not real.  All that is changing is not God. God is one and permanent.

Communism is the religions of aetheism. It’s unscientific, nihilistic and doesn’t work.  Pagan religions have been adept at human sacrifice.  Jesus, the son of God sacrificed himself to end death. He rose from the dead.

I liked Pascal’s Wager,

Studying spirituality I had the epiphany I had studying chemistry.  I knew. I ‘grokked’.  I find God an experience,

The question today is how to be closer,

The idea of sin is the ‘miss the mark’.  Attachment to ‘senses’ and ‘worship’ of carnal. Addiction is like that.  A person would sacrifice a life for the ‘false high’ of opiates, cocaine, nicotine.  It’s like the garden of eden and eating the apple.  

The process addictions are more interesting to me today.

Avarice - love of money

Envy - comparison

Lust - sex addiction

Gluttony - food addiction

Sloth - in activity

I find myself asking if I’m meant to be a monk or merely to moderate my behaviour. Moderation is popular with physicians. If I exercised more and ate less I would feel better and be healthier. So much organ disease follows from poor diet, excess, or sugar addiction ,diabetes.

I am often told that I am depressed and didn’t get out of bed for weeks. 

In addiction work we would argue that the depression as much as precedes the behaviour as it follows the negative behaviour.  

The Irish say ‘you can’t get to there from here’.

In addiction medicine we say you must abstain so you gain right thinking,  Only abstinent does the ‘right thinking’ follow.  FMRI show abnormality in the brain processing and judgement for 3 months with addiction,

Some have argued a year abstinence.  The research says for sure 3 months.  90 meetings in 90 days was the observational data that came from watching new comers become cognizant of their descent and recovery.  

It was so apparent with cigarette addiction that 3 months people liked the improved breathing ,sense of smell and taste, I proved health.  The cravings are often gone in weeks though under stress the can return. Rat studies show that addicted rats abstinence for some considerable time will return to the ‘rat bar’ if their cage is shook,

Sex, gluttony and sloth are are more interesting to me as the society collectively is confused by these as evidenced by the media and societal leaders.  

Underlying all addiction is anxiety and fear coupled with resentment and self pity.  There’s isolation over participation and contrariness.  I’m learning.

Thank you God, higher power, other, the self I wish to be, the becoming one.