Moving IV

It's the last day. The hazmat suits are on. I've used whips and tazers to get the suitcases to move towards the front door. This is no orderly exodus. We've lost the cat somewhere in the midst of the little boxes. A couple of sweaters were crushed when the pots panicked and pressed forward en mass escaping the dying kitchen.

Laura made the last bacon sandwiches. Mark and Rod are getting last Rites and purifying in sweat lodges before the final foray between apartment and storage locker. I just found my summer clothes from last year neatly packed in a box. I didn't need the new shorts and sandals obviously.

An air raid strike has been called for the afternoon. Painters have been by but had to duck incoming mortar fire. It's a toss up for management to renovate or enshrine.

The walls are screaming 'don't go, don't go', breathing in and out while the carpet is belching and burping and the ceiling is grabbing at my hair. The bedroom just told me, "You're like all the others, come in here and promise you'll stay but then you just use me and leave." The faucet is ashamed of herself after all she's given me. The toilet asked that I put the cover down before I leave to hide his shame. The balcony has said too, "You're going to tell all your friends what a good time you had here too so others will come and take advantage of us. You're just like the all rest!"

Meanwhile I'm hoping neighbours will begin to gather around a large stain I found on the drapes. I think it's coffee but it may be a portrait of the Lord. One way it will bring new tenants. The other way it will definitely affect my damage deposit. It looks more like a sheep to me than a face of Jesus on a shroud. I'm hoping others have more imagination.

Looking at the cat hair clumps on the carpet that I've finally found I can see the merit in dirt floors.

A freezer full of venison and grouse is now at the office. I hope it won't offend psychic vegetarians. It will need to be transferred to the new home freezer but for now the object is to vacate this place. Stuff is ending up in the storage locker or office that belongs elsewhere. Laura told me on one of her family moves the new tenants were moving in while they were moving out so her movers took all the new people's kitchen cabinets to Laura's new place.

They have to burn incense and paint here to disguise the cat's daily transdimensional cat world visitations. I knew she was up to something looking so smug when I got home but now that I'm leaving people all around have told me my cat was the ring leader for the all year Halloween activities that have gone on here. Many have seen their cats disappear and walk out through the walls of my apartment mid day. She looks so innoscent.

Imagine I'm moving on Halloween. Fitting. Vampires witches and were wolves will be out on the street when this place if finally behind me and the new digs will take on a life of their own. I just had a flashback to a 60's move and am really thankful no one has suggested mushrooms on this move. There's a whole lot of advantages to being sober and/or mature.