Harrison Lake

Dear God,

The morning was beautiful, blue sky, fluffy white cloud, sun rising slowly behind ice capped mountains.  I enjoyed the Canada geese on the trail, the ducks in the lake.  It was quiet still, the little tourist town not yet awake. Another dog walker and a runner were all I saw.  Madigan was happy sniffing all the cannine messages along the trail.  I suspect he note night visitors like raccoons and foxes I didn’t see.  I stopped at a bench and prayed to you but the wind was brisk and my little buddy was out without his coat.  

Thank you for the waking me again this morning, the scent of pine and spruce in the air.  I like being by the water taking the long walk around the lagoon.  

Now I’m drinking cappuccino after a breakfast egg croissant, an apple fritter, and an orange juice.  My palette is happily awake with tantalizing tastes and my belly feeling content.  In a while I’ll go out to sit in the hot mineral water and enjoy all the young bikini clad eye candy and the old surviving wisdom.  The wrinkled expressions mirror my own..  Who would have guessed we’d grow old.  I feel just like the 30 and 40 years old despite being nearly twice that age.  I am thankful for a good life, many accomplishments and adventures with numerous close friends and loves that have deepened the breadth of experience.  I am thankful for my dog Madigan and the dogs who have gone before.

Now I know this is your creation.  If I made this world then I’ve lost the key.  I can spontaneously create objects and events in the outer world like I can in my fantasy world.  There is the idea of the collective unconscious and the collective agreed memory.  Reality is being changed like neuroplasticity as archeologists explained the record further into the back and astronomer geologists reach beyond the earth.  We could be co creators as a group endeavour each day beginning anew.  

I’m always asking your purpose for me, guidance and protection.  I wish to know you better.  The idea that I am not God but a product of God is fine but why can’t I be more present in this relationship.  I would have more peace of mind and more wisdom, flexibility, kindness, intelligence and wealth.  I’m grateful for all I have. I’m rather blessed and don’t have regrets except for marriages and perhaps lack of children.  I always feel I could have been a better person but I’ve worked so long and served so many and done my best each day. There are those I admire more and I have been blessed with parents and mentors that grow still in my appreciation of them and their influence on me.

But can I manifest life as you do?  Is the path I’m on the best path?  Could I serve you better in some other capacity?  My life is rather hedonistic these days despite the continued stress of difficult work. I continue to have anxiety about government forces so like the Borg and communists before them.  Yet this moment they are only a bad thought.  They come into my consciousness now when I let my guard down. I struggle to be present, let go of the and forgive those evil men and women who abused me in the past using their power for greed and grandiosity and abusing me because I was an outsider to them.  I have fought for so many underdogs and advocated daily for the weak or marginalized.  

Now I’m here asking to know you more. God come into my heart and heal me.  Heal my mind as well. Lift me up and help me rejoice in this glorious life you have shared with me.  Thank you

Thank you Jesus.