I didn’t make it to church this morning. When Helena asked I responded that i’d been to visit Laura in the Westend Friday and Saturday. That’s enough outings for a post covid recluse. I will get back to chruch soon. I love the rituals and place of worship, the minister and others sharing faith.
God I thank you for this day. Thank you for light. Thank you for warmth. Thank you for Madigan. Thank you for communiation. Thank you for family. Thank you for coffee. Thank you for clean water. Thank you for Apple computers and Ipads. Thank you my mini Cooper. Thank you for my Vespa. Thank you for all your blessings .Thank you for this life of adcenture and learning. Guide me to my next project. Thank you for my work and the ability to serve and heal.
God, I understand you as energy I believe i am made of star dust, energy and matter created by you. I know you as the crator. You are creator and sustainer.
I know that time is central. You are in the centre of the centre, the present. You are omnisicent. I am a child of God using the anthropomoric language.
I imagine you created me as a child to grow. I see that nature has babies, children, adults and old. I see the example of life in all of nature. I question my purpose and meaning now.
Buddha said desire is the root of all suffering.
Jesus said Love God and Love your Neighbour as yourself.
Kierkegaard said life is suffering untill death.
Love is the lesson. Lust to Agape. Attachment to mother to attachment to God.
Thee idea of God as a higher power, that I am not God, the movemnt from narcissim to altruism according to Freud’s daughter.
Jung and the myths and archetypes.
The journey. The hero’s journey according to Campbell.
If I produced children I could relax and beliece they’d prickd up the relay as Rudyard Kipling would proclaim of the next genration in the era of empire.
We’re post modern, post rational, a trans nation, ruled by ‘useful idiots’ and ‘fools'
Consumerism is the material worldd of fear and paranoia - those with the most toys when they die win according to satan.
Yet peace of mind is not something you can buy nor love. Nor can you buy your way into the afterlife.
Pascal’s wager.
Karma and divine retribution. The non accountability of those who think all is construction, the denial of a reality , which is not just the seen and unseen.
The idea that reality is an idea is fine but Vonnegut said we are peepholes on reality. The idea of a collectice unconscious of Jung.
The Tibetan Book of the Dead says we reincarnate as a team that has written their script in the bardot between incarnation.
We are walking each other home.
Yet I believe that I can not get to heaven ‘first’ till all have gone before. The Sermon on the Mount spaks to the mystery at the core. Jesus is waiting for me and you to pass through so he can rejoin hi father
I’m doing the laundry and the power to the washer drier tripped. I imagine this has some insight. As above so below. Everything is interconnected. There is synchronicity and yet the externalization of polcie and gocernment is my concern.
I am the child within but I’m also the parent within. I have anxiety about government today, failing banks, lunatic lying psychopathic leders.
The oldest law of the world is the Chinese law of the fish There are big fish and little fish.
Shit happens
I’m amused at all the games the young play, like that story of the war games that were in deed strategy and tactic developments that won a distant war against aliens though the children never knew they were any more than games.
In our own ways we’ve developed skills and competencies. The admiistratice managerial sorts are of course grandiose But then I’m a science grad and consider my science skills superior to my poetry skills because of the money value. Money is what the woman told me she worked three jobs for. I’ve had goals like sailing across an ocean the decision following my partners desire to live in Shaughassey and her undermining of our homestad. I really loved the country homestead but was constantly dealing with betrayal and subterfuge.
She has what she wanted. Her minimal work and return to her mother’s mausoleum, the house and status. She was always afraid and met those men who compete always. I won but I wasn’t competing and lost only when betrayed by Jesebel. But that was necessary for my own larning. All has been a learning experience. What my friend calls an AFGE - another fucking growth experience.
I’m older now and in that world of dying friends and sickness. I hace been reborn to what purpose.
I don’t like revenge porn. I would discuss that with my Jewish friend filled with anger and hate at the enemies of his blood line. Generational war. I see that with my black friend now.
Personally I’m Jacob/israel wrestling with the angel. I’m playing peek aboo with Jesus. I don’t want a penthouse suite in downtown vancouver or New York or Bombay. I want to be in the country in an RV park with wifi . I want to walk my dog in differ3ent fields. I want to swim more and do more yoga and tai chi. I want to write more.
The aliens looked alot like me. Mirror images of my bipedal form. Yet they had red jackets sto my blue. Their weapons were newer. Their shields less pitted. I didn’t know what they wanted but they clarified that when they shot at me. Offensie little shits. I’d once again trusted and against my better advise not accepted the best defence is an offense. I did duck and dive and roll and came up shooting myself. My fire was more accurate. I watched the two of the bastards sizzle before my ray gun.
I liked that I had a ray gun. Others in my platoon had rail guns and lazer rifle. Mine was a thing of imagination and spirituality. Beyond science. I called it excalibur. It could cut a wide slice or narrow to a sniper beam.
What were the aliens doing here. Other than wanting to kill me what did they want. There must be a bigger plan.
“You okay, boss.” We heard the weapons. He looked beyond me to the piles of arms legs and goo. The head and torso of each was gone but still steaming.
’That’s them, boss,” Harry asked,
“I guess so. They fired at me so I retured fire. Lucky I wasn’t the one fried."
‘Command didn’t say if they were friendly or not. Just to be on alert. “ added Sheila. She was distinguable but her oversized armour. She was tiny and that was the best they could do on short notice. So many called up when the lights in the sky appeared.
“At least now we know they’re not friendly.” the whiz kid computer man was saying while lighting up his screen to communicate with command . I didn’t need to tell him. These were elite crew. We’d trained together and I was fortunate.in those who joined me. We had a diffeernt command structure. Individuals joined the command structure but like old time militia could seek the leader of their choice on a first, second and thrid basis. Leader and recruti talked . If they fit, they were now in the traditional command structure. The democratic nature of militia didn’t include leaving whnecer. The crops could wait.
“Command, this is Helio, alpha, mike, come in. Command, hello, alpha, mike?
Command here.
“We’ve been shot at by two aliens and returned fire killing them both.
‘Roger.
Are there more.
No.
Picturs and viedo en route.
at that the whizz kid took over.
We would wait. Already some of the team had taken up perimeter positiosns. Our drone was in the sky circling already but it had not warned of the elien,.
Pete was still looking at the puddle and crap, You’re not that interested in it.
Looked just like me. Don’t know if that’s camouflage or real but the body looks dead which is what I like considering they’re response to mel
You’re sure you didn’t trigger them Captain.
No sarge I didn’t . Beyond bein in full armor and carying a ray gun. They liftd those stick things and pointed at me and had I not ducked I’d be the puddle
Pete was still looking at the sticks ‘ Firesticks ‘ he said looking at the burn mark beyond me.
“Helio, Alpha, Mike come in this is command.
‘Roger, Command, Helio, Alpha Mike.
“Proceed with caution.”
Oh well, it’s fun to live i nthe fantasy world when naked sex dolls spring to life and talk like women on the View as a personel hell for men who just want to go fishing.
The washig is done. No more leak of significance so I can head out and get a new magic key board and hopefully get the old one in for repair. I’ve been usingthe mac book pro.
Madigan will enjoy the car ride and I’ll try adn get a bigger bin and some listerine. I should swim later. Maybe pick up dinner on the way.
I’m just getting by, muddling forward. The one thing I wanted to do which was get the bank app working to download the missing spread sheet can’t be done till the work week when they open. Tomorrow im in the clinic in the morning.
Life goes on with cliches and attitude.
Thank you God.
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