Life and cleaners

Cleaners are coming today. Merry Maids.  Strangers coming into Madigan and my space. It’s exciting. I love being clean. I loved last year when post covid a couple came for a day and cleaned the floors and got the dirt behind things.  I loved when I had a cleaning lady once a month before covid.  It’s wonderful.  But the clutter here concerns me. I’m due for a trip to the storage locker. I’d like to minimalize. I’d like to be able to stow everything in an hour and be on the road. But right now this is a home. I’ve no intention of leaving now. I image though if it was less chaotic I might get it together to be able to tow.  I think next year maybe but then I also think trade this in for a road version. My little house becoming a bus.  A complete overhaul of dreams. Last year I was all set to trade in my harley and then I enjoyed it again and my strength improved. This year I love the Harley.  

But the camper remains in Limbo with the evil machinations of Frazerway RV and insurance companies.  I carry on.  I called a lawyer but he’s not returned my calls.  

This is the world of post covid, delays and shortage of staff and lack of local parts.  Transportation and communication problems

I should be simply grateful. It’s sunny. It’s summer. I have a “reasonably happy life’.  I know joy. I have th comfort of a cute companion Madigan who ever day grows more adorable and endearing.

I wonder what to do when I grow ups. I am technically post retirement but this life I’m leading is fulfilling. I can continue to do as I’m doing.  One day at a time I celebrated 25 years clean and sober Aiming for 30 now. I’m 70 but feel like 40 except my back which feels a hundred at times. This week it’s been much better. I called a Tai Chi school and am on their books for their next in person courses.  I’ve been swimming more. I need to exercise and stretch more. I’m seen Dr. Ready the chiropractor tomorrow.  That helps.  I’m less anxious about my back. Mina and Lydia have leased my psychosis.  No spine cancer.  Stretching in bed before getting out prepares me for the crush of gravity standing.  I suppose it’s significant I have an old spinal fracture. I’ve been through a lot. My life has been a grand adventure. Today I naturally look at the lack of children and dwell on the negative of the abortion and the cruelty of women and the abuse by men.  Here I am today though blessed with moments of joy and all the manure of the past has given rise to the flowers in my garden.

I’m faced still with what will I do when I grow up.

1. My boat is set to sail the Great Lakes or go down the inside passage to the Caribbean. I’d like that.  

2. I’m a virtual doctor and I enjoy that.  I like virtual reality especially for psychopharmacology. I feel like a Lordco parts guy. I know what is best and have this knowledge though I miss the psychoanalytic psychotherapy and hypnotherapy and general medicine diagnostics. I imagine that I’d like to develop a teaching blog on utube perhaps.

3. I’ve three books well in progress and would love to sit in libraries again with my dog and have access to the books and my ipad. I’d love an editor.  I’ve all this ‘data’ and yet I’m less motivated to put it into a ‘form’. I’ve lots of material.  

4 I imagine writing and travelling. I’d thought to do that with the camper.  Write a couple of hours a day and drive a couple of hours a day and hang out a couple of hours a day.  I wanted to see the history of the US>

5. I thought to travel to South America. I could have done that with the camper or on my motorcycle.  I can’t take Madigan on my motorcycle

6.  I thought to have a sex change I just want breasts and to wear dresses and present as an eccentric entity. I don’t want bottom surgery. I just want the different identity, But I don’t particularly like gay people . They are so liberal and ready to be offended and so angry so often. I am afraid of LGBT people often though I have individual friends an I have patients I enjoy but overall I find them ‘prickly’.   There’s certainly some adventure but a lot of narcissism .  I rather like the mundane by comparison.  Perhaps its competition. I’m he unusual one in most crowds.  I don’t vy for the spot light but don’t enjoy the Pride and drama but I like the acceptance of sexuality and diversity.

7. I don’t want to be a monk but I want to continue my spiritual journey. I think of Laura and I and our mutual love of God and our fun under the sheets and I simple enjoyment of life together. She likes my love of church’s and art and I enjoy when we are on the road with the dog. She has this whole other life and is winding down whereas frankly I’m winding up.  I’ve served in work for decades and now I’d like self care, retirement as a new adventure. I imagine I’m good for  another 30 years and she’s talking like she’s not here for another 10. I was thinking of going back to university and formalizing my theology degree. On a bad day I think of getting a law degree.

8. I am looking forward to the cleaners and the organization imposed.  It’s a beginning.  

Thank you Jesus.  YESHU.