Lazy Sunny Weekend

Laura called on Friday to say she was sick with dizziness. That was concerning. We’d hoped to spend the weekend together but she was better staying home. She didn’t want to go to the ER either so we discussed her symptoms over the next days as she took gravel and NSAID’s .  She slowly was better. Sunday she’s walking without stumbling and that’s good. She’s had stuffed ears last week so it’s sounds like a labyrnthitis, common with viral infections and with Covid. Her Covid test was negative though.

I really didn’t do much. After working Friday morning, I spent the afternoon getting the mail and walking the dog. I’ve been reading Rundell. Learned he was a Baptist minister before writing historical westerns.  There are a lot of visitors here so the pool has always been in use but I’ve enjoyed the hot tub twice.

Saturday I saw Dr. Ready , Klein Chiropractic.  I get hope and several days relatively pain free each visit and the sense that I’m improving. I gave him the X-ray Dr. Antonious did. Dr Waterson said it was ‘a good looking spine for an old guy.’  We laughed.

In the afternoon I got dressed up  and did a trip to Professional Nail to have a pedicure and manicure and colour change. I wanted yellow for summer.  When I sent Laura pictures, she said “that’s what I like and Robin my neice does too>”

I enjoyed the colour and walked to the gem store to buy some yellow amber. I love amber. I’ve even thought I’d like to go to the Baltic and Poland to get some directly. I’ve considered going to Hallstadt the site of the Celtic smiths in Austria.  Amber was the favoured celtic jewel.  I’ve loved it since the Latvians introduced me to it with the insects captured in some thousands of years old.  I liked that.  I had the smoked salmon and made lox and cream cheese and fresh Cobbs white bread sandwiches for a couple of days. 

I rode the Vespa home and changed to shorts to sit outside in the sun.  I had some ‘sun tanning’, my plan for the weekend.  At night I watched an episode of a Navy Seal done wrong by government and revenge.  I walk Madigan around park 3 or 4 times a day.  I’d say he’s guaranteed an hour or two and sometimes more walking and sniffing and peeing.  We had Costco chicken pie and frozen pees microwaved. 

Sunday, I slept in till 9 so any thought of church went out the window.  I started reading the Wilbur Smith Storm Tide hardcover and did a a couple hours on the lawnchair and the hot sun.  It was splendid. I enjoy seeing all the friends on Facebook at the beach or at lakes and rivers. I’m really enjoying my back yard like I never have before.  I used to enjoy weekends on the sailboat the same way.  My own little safe place. Lots of folk moving through .  I enjoy their energy.  This place feels like Banff or Whistler in the summer so many in the area travelling or moving on. I heard 500,000 had left BC this year already.  I okay here. I’m looking forward to bow hunting at the end of August.  

I was anticipating the Pride Parade. For decades I’ve missed it because IDAA overlapped . This year I didn’t go to IDAA though it was in Texas and I loved being there.  But I didn’t want to face international travel yet.  Too much Trudea arbitrary control and disruption going on.  I was content to hang out.   

Then. Monkey pox hit, mostly spread men having sex wth men and spread by kissing even and possibility aerosol.  I don’t even like to be in crowds with Covid.  So I thought it would be nice to show solidarity, dress up with the tribe but then did I really want to ‘mix’. I had thought of the street fest and the fireworks and it just seemed to much disorder and chaos.  I go out and about and don’t wear a mask but I dont’ want to get sick. I’ve not had respiratory illness since India which I figure was probably early Covid. I was treated for a year for TB and I’m just happy to be alive. I’m in a survival and recovery mode.  I enjoy my meetings.  I liked the idea of being in crowds of people who don’t judge on appearance.  

I don’t want to wear ‘military’ wear and like cross dressing. I liked sailing wearing only shorts and a sarong. I liked the kaftans I wore young and just lose clothing.  I don’t want confrontation and seem to be having so many intrusive thoughts of defending women and others from gangs and bullies. Now the government is the bully and I don’t want to do anything more than Klinger.  I’m fearful and know that God is with me. I trust in Jesus. And I don’t think he cares how I dress or anything about sex. I did many years of marriage and didn’t have children. The church is an institution of family and I don’t feel theres’ a place for single folk like me. I don’t want to be a monk and I’m satisfied with my relationship with Laura but we’re not married.  We represent a large minority of folk who are being excluded by the church which is failing in other ways.  God for the traditional family. Good for children. Good for marriage. But I’m not ready to be a monk and asexual.  I think the spiritual paths of Hinduism and Buddhism and the whole asceticism for sex thing ignores greed and gluttony. I’m sober 25 years. A long fast. I’m doing my bit. But the fact remains I’m in Limbo.  World war on the horizon, Canada government corruption unlike ever before, WEF, UN and WHO and everything a mess. I can’t plan more than months a head and keep doing what I’m doing for want of a better thing. This is indeed how most people have lived whereas I’ve had the privilege of choice. Families have restricted people as much as they’ve enlightened them.  I have a dog and he even restricts my choices in a positive way.  I might be a dance star without him.. An old Fred Astaire but he prefers walking by rivers. So I’m looking forward to hunting with him.  

For now I do enjoy dressing up and getting my nails done and coming home to a lawnchair and sun.  2 hours out of a day.  Now today it’s just lawn chair and sun. What a do nothing weekend.  I rather like it. It’s quite the change.  Maybe it’s aging.  Recuperation.  I like that my back isn’t in pain and I’m taking NSAIDS.  I would have preferred Laura visiting but I’m glad she’s getting better.  

I’ll be at work next week. I realize that so many are satisfied by work and preparation for work. I did begin another medical course for veteran affairs.  It didn’t work on my ipad so I’ll have to continue on my laptop.  I’m looking forward to getting  a new ipad when it comes out. I may even get a new laptop. I use them daily for work.  

I have prayed. Asked direction.  Asked guidance.  I’m sitting on the bench mostly. What Im doing it okay.

Not only did Monkeypox lessened the excitement of being at the old parade I’d attended a half dozen times years back but then the worst infection occurred. Trudeau is one of the co leaders, a mascot of some sort. That did it for me.  The Pride Parade is important politically.  I was glad to make the pilgrimage to Stonewall. I appreciate the politics of Pride. I know so many who have been demonized as a minority.   I know the discrimination.  I don’t see deviance as demonic.  I’ve grown inclusive and softer. I’m uncertain and don’t trust those who claim certainty.  I believe God is loving.  But I can’t abide Trudeau and I feel like boycotting Pride if they allign themselves with him. It was like that pride where the 8 is too late , man boy love society marched with their banner.  I don’t like the drugs and alcohol at Pride either.  Do I want to go to that ‘mob’.  I didn’t go to the Fireworks because I didn’t want to be out in the drug and alcohol world. That’s probably just age.

Now George’s 46 year cake is that Sunday and he’s asked me to give it to him. That Trumps Pride by a long shot so if I go to pride it will only be a drive by rather than participating in the whole festivities. Like the times when I stopped at a party to ‘make an appearance’ as I was invited to several.  Today I feel I show the flag in costume and apparel.  

My gay friend laughs at my nails. He says that says it all.  Of course I bite my nails and since Covid I’ve stopped myself not wanting to damage the shellack. I’ve not been sick at all during Covid and like that. I’ve been sad though and my back has been sore. Anger turned inward. Grief. So many dying.  So many of those I was closest to gone.  

I’m okay.  

This weekend has definitely been a ‘vacation’.  Thank you Jesus. Thank you Creator. Thank you God. Thank you God of my understanding. Thank you Higher Power. Thank you Love. Thank you Yahweh. Thank you Yeshua.

Thank you for this day for the sunshine for my health for all the blessings you bestow upon me. Thank you that I ‘m still of service.  Thank you for my family and friends. Thank you for the summer.  Thank you for my backyard and Madigan and my home.