Tuesday, Thank you for waking me up God

Thanks to my doctors I’ve learned that stretching before getting out of bed reduces the sharp pains of getting out of bed, moving from horizontal to vertical and dealing with gravity.  My spine is better capable of doing the shift if I do some stretches before getting up, “Like a cat, ‘ she said.  

I saw the chiropractor and that dulled the pain. The sharp pain is what bothers me most. I can live with the dull pains and have for as long as I can remember. I was depressed I’m convinced because the background pain came to the foreground and reinforced my self pity.  Exercise helps it.  I’m best after swimming but kids have been in the pool this week. I get pool time like others get laundry time trying to find when no one is there.  I’m doing pretty good. Walking Madigan throughout the day is good too. I call him my dog physiotherapist.  He’s right now chewing on an old bone my foot found in the night a couple of nights back. Felt like a big Lego in the dark.

Laura wrote and said sun is promised this week.  I’m looking forward to backyard sun bathing.  

Frazerway RV continues to delay my camper repair.  It’s now 9 months of their corruption and incompetence.  Such a shame for a business to function that way and then expect perfection of doctors.  We’d have mass death in our communities if our doctors and nurses functioned as Frazerway RV Abbotsford.  It used to be Abbotsford was a Christian community but it’s anything but Christian at Frazerway RV.  Customer service is communist if anything.  I am convinced they vote Liberal by the failure to work.  I bought a defective unit from them and when an insurance claim exposed they’d sold me a defective unit they simply won’t repair it and to date have put nothing in writing. I’ve waited, turn the check 40 times 40.  Don’t express concern.  I am used to dealing with insane and psychopaths so I wait. Everyday they are more and more incompetence and bullying like Ottawa.  I wake thinking about the utter abuse.  I never would have thought in a thousand years when I bought the unit and heard all the promises and claims of Frazerway that I would be without a camper for 9 months working through covid and now continuing to work with more and more people struggling with the increasing number of bullies and despearate sociopaths .  Each day I hear of people struggling with inflation, cost of food, evictions and I am distracted by my own demonic attack by Frazerway RV obviously possessed as they continue to communicate with callous arrogance. I suspect as always it’s the drugs the staff are on. This level of offensiveness almost always indicates drug abuse and alcoholism. I deal with it every day in my work and find that if a person is an asshole, you just have to add alcohol or drugs to make the person an asshole turbocharged.

 Meanwhile I figure like Jung teaches that I am attracting this and am trying to detach with love.  I pray for the lost souls of Frazerway RV.  It’s a country in a world of fear led by the devils own Justin Trudeau the incompetent corrupt perverted dictator wannabe .  As Bob Dylan sings ‘there’s blood on the saddle’ and the world has gone crazy.  

I am exhausted selling life each day to the suicidal, wrestling with the devil trying to have a person stop the slow suicide of addiction.  It takes all my energy and at the end of the day I’m utterly exhausted.  Meanwhile I’ve errands to do and distract myself with whatever works.  

The war is real.  

The Wuhan virus continues psychologically.  The damage to families and connection is only now rebuilding.  Deaths continue.  

I’m finding it harder and harder to reassure people. I’m an eternal optimist and know that people like me who believe in the success of patients have a 30% greater success rate than those who don’t.  I’m feeling burnt out despite my strategic R&R and the use of all the things I recommend. But the back pain,, I was in a plane crash on a mercy mission as a flyin doctor to the northern reserves,  Later my car was hit by yahoos as I was driving to a hospital to deliver a baby. Thank God my colleague could replace me.  I was in an emergency myself being assessed that day.  A guy going through a stop sign hit me as I was bicycling down a hill on my way to church and truly I thought I was going to be paraplegic after i flew over the roof of the car and landed on my back behind him.  I am so thankful to UBC and the doctor who returned saying that the Ctscan showed my spine was fine.  I am reassured by technology on occasion. I know all pain as psychosomatic and feel ever in a fight between life and death, sensitive as I am to the yin and yang.  

It’s all light and darkness. Without pain I’d not know pleasure.

I’m truly blessed. I’ve known so much joy and wonder in my life. I’ve had such depth of joy in study. I’m get such glee reading an learning. I’ve such fun in nature. It’s such a joy to be there helping a person ‘change’ from dying to living. I love watching the light come on in their eyes. I enjoyed watching the spirits return to bodies in the ICU.  I feel auras expand when the hopelessness goes and life returns. It’s a real pleasure to be with people helping them out of the rabbit holes.  I’ve walked so many miles in so many moccasins I don’t judge. I was told by Jesus to Love God and Love my neighbour as myself. I ‘m learning everyday to be more loving.  I’m living more in the moment each day. I’m evaluating truth more clearly by separating hearsay and disinformation. I’m struggling but doing the heavy lifting of forcing my mind to turn from the propaganda and loud brass bands of the bullies to the wee small voices and the cclestial bells.  It’s amazing I’m still alive. I never thought I’d survive so many times in my life when all I had was faith and grace was ever kind and generous.  

Thank you Jesus for your presence and teaching.  Help me and those I know and love another day of this sacred journey. Thank you for Madigan and thank you for Laura.