Frazerway RV, Gratitude, Acceptance

It’s a glorious summer day. I loved walking Madigan and enjoying breathing the clear air.  

I’ve a clinic this morning downtown east side. I continue to return despite having my life threatened there several times, a gun pulled on me, even my dog was threatened.  Stuart, my Scottish terrier was killed by drug dealers but ex navy seals killed the culprits. No joy in vindication. I used to like seeing justice and karma play out. Today I wish there were just fewer bullies and less stupid people.

I reward myself on the way to work with a Mocca. Anticipation of that gets me through the cleaning and dressing rituals.  30 years and more of service now.  

I just read that when a congressman tried to bring action against pedophiles the democrats rejected it saying pedophiles were a conspiracy theory.  They vetted the clergy and teachers but not the law and government.  Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts.  Steal a little and they put you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king.  If 50 shades of grey wasn’t about a billionaire it would be an episode in Criminals Minds.  

I’m still having intrusive thoughts about Frazerview RV, James Epp and Diana Smith. It was 9 months ago that I took the camper I bought from them in after an accident.  The insurance adjusters say that the water damage inside was ‘pre existing damage’ but have offered to pay repairs.  Diana Smith has stonewalled and gaslighted me for month.  I’ve asked to speak to her superior and totally exasperated repeatedly asked what the delay was. The last time she deigned to return a call she repeated herself from 4 months before.  ‘She said that in March before she left when she said she’d have the camper ready for May when you wanted to use it.”  She did in deed say that. Now it’s July and typical of sociopaths she had created a crisis.  These rare summer camping days are here and I’ve been a burnt out physician dealing with the horror and chaos of the covid pandemic. I’ve just read Band of Brothers and learned that the suppliers were stealing supplies so the front line combat troops were freezing in the Battle of the Bulge because of the lack of supplies occasioned by the businessmen making their ‘killings’ in businesss.  I pray for my enemies. I turn the other cheek 70 x 70.  I know stupidity and incompetence and lack of common sense are more common that nefarious individual behaviour.  Each day I wake now and ask why God have I attracted these people and this situation into my life.  

I do the serenity prayer. I am taking my 25 year cake for sobriety next month and miss the alcoholic response and insaniety of my youth when I walked into peoples bed rooms at 3 am and discussed our differences.  I haven’t had a swat team or military unit surround me in 25 years.  I have had dinner with a liberal and conservative prime minister and take joy in my American general friend calling me a ‘Canadian hippy’.  So I am much better advised today than when I was raging.  Yet there’s a repetition of the behaviour of my ex wife who never did what she promised she would do and whatever agreements were made legally and officially were broken. I am aware of ‘gaslighting’.  I’m interested in this novelty in business. I see Trudeau doing all the behaviours we associate with drug addiction and sociopathy. My Pentecostal Minister friend says its a spiritual war that’s raging.

I’m personally going to attend Pride Parade for the first time in decades because I won’t be travelling to the international conference I usually attend.  I’m interested in the inclusivity and exclusivity questions that Christ Church Cathedral and St. Barnabus addressed. 

I’ve got to run.  The clock is always calling me.  Too much to do each day and not enough time. It’s more and more difficult to help people when I’m being stabbed in the back.  I feel like I’m expected to do Surgery here and the people who are supposed to ensure there are lights are partying.  

Yet here we are with Sun. God is good all of the time.  I’m going to heaven.  I’m here in heaven today. I just need to put a suit on and get to work. Madigan likes the outing and all the staff at the clinic are so kind to him. They’re so helpful to me.  

Thank you Yeshua