Communion

I made it to church this morning.  I woke at 630 and that was that. I couldn’t go back to sleep.  No reason not to get up and take Madigan for a walk, do my normal morning routine, and make it to church.  If I sleep in it doesn’t happen. It’s been months since I was last there. Months since last communion.  Zoom doesn’t quite make it. There was a time I was in church daily. Meditating with Benedictine monks.  Studying theology three nights a week.  Now I pray and meditate and know the time is ahead for meeting God , levelling up , through death.  There is no denial of death. I even like Leonard Cohen’s approach

As I lay dead on my love soaked bed

An angel came to kiss my head

I caught her gown and wrestled her down

To be my angel in death town

She shall not fly, she has promised to die

Oh what a lucky corpse am I.

The whole of life’s form, the clothing, the shell, the identity and all the memories and wars and loves are let go. They are on some iCloud but I and these ‘ego’ related ‘creatures’.  My thoughts are not my ‘self’. My ‘self’ is ‘soul’ and that which I am will remain and go to a different form. Heavenly or reincarnation.

I will meet God and ask him what was it all form.  Love , I’m sure.  Like the Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, some random number, will be the answer.  

I’m growing deaf. My dog was a rascal in church. There was another dog. Older well behaved. But that lead my dog to ‘rebel’ against me , his chosen master. He whines if he’s not with me. The sermon was on rebelllion.  The need for us as Christians to remember that Jesus wasn’t a goody goody two shoes. He was rejected and killed by church and state. He was a rebel and an outlaw.  Today Christians are persecuted again.

26 churches burnt to the ground. The lying Prime Minister would have declared Martial Law if only a few Mosques were burnt to the ground , or Synagogues.  26 churches burnt to the ground.  Who is the threat to authority?  The Communists, the religion of aetheism, have always persecuted the church. The Muslims have always persecuted Christians and Jews. The Middle East was once all Christian, Zoroastrian and Jewish. Mohammed changed that with his Jihad and war.  The lie is Islam is a religion of peace. Just like Marx said of his religion, Communism, there will be war until we win. So too there will be war until Islam wins.  

I want love and peace.  I’m a Christian.  The bullies always lie about the Crusaders. The Crusaders were defending Christian Civilization from Muslim Barbarism.  Mohammed men had invaded Spain and were only stopped at Venice.  Christians are slow to anger,. They turn their cheek seventy times seventy and then ‘that’s enough!”  “Enough is enough”. And the Christians fought the Nazis Socialism.   The Christians fought Chinese and Korean aetheists.  Today the traitors have welcomed the Trojan horse. The 5th columns are in place.  Corporations and Communism are Aetheist.  The aetheists have ‘God’s.’  They just don’t acknowledge them as such. They worship power and Monet. The communist God is the State. The corporate God is Money.  The Christian God is Yahweh, the same as the one God of the Jews.  The Brahma of Hinduism is akin to this God.  The Buddhists have a creator as the Taoists and Pagans. The tribal God of traditional society was one and many.  The aetheists communists and corporate aetheists are materialist. They worship the Golden Calf.  St. Paul called the Christian God the ‘unseen God’.  The God ‘within’.  

One must be humble and open minded to learn.  Aetheism is arrogant and closed minded.  

I’m a scientist. All is hypothesis to me.  Scientists are mostly spiritual. The essence of science is debate and possibility.  

I felt good seeing Emilie, the priest I know.  She was a friend of Vivian who has gone to the ‘happy hunting grounds’ of her people.  I am visitted by those who have passed before me. They visit in my dreams and I know them in synchronicity.

I ate the body of Christ.  This is my body I have shed for you.  He died. He rose. He will come again.  Jesus is my Lord.  Jesus son of God.  God omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent. I too am a son of God.  He is the first born.  My saviour.  In death he will join me in light and carry me over to the other side.  There will be family and friends and a wonderful reunion. A big meeting in the inner sky.

My dog was a rascal.  At the end he wanted to leave early. He bit his leash which he’s not supposed to do. He fussed.  He had the devil in him.  I laughed thinking of Molly another puppy who must have the naughtiness walked out of her.  Madigan had sat most of the hour and been quiet. I had to pick him up a few times.  He settled when I did. I forgot to bring a chew for him. A chew is like a dog’s colouring book.  But at the end , he’d had enough.  Even growled at me. I’d have swatted him for ‘talking back’ but he knew he had the upper hand, Witnesses and cameras. If we weren’t at the end of the service I’d have walked out but I wanted to hear the sending forth.  I was confused too because Emilie welcomed me from the front. I can’t hear without hearing aids and masks that muffle voices. Meanwhile Madigan is fussing and I think she asked his name but I gave her my name like she didnt know.  I used to bring Gilbert who she knew but Madigan is the year old and smaller and not the bishop blessed dog Gilbert was.  Madigan despite being at times angelic during the service, sleeping, was full of devilment when she was talking.  Covid and masks and hearing are a challenge. The stem on my glasses was lose so they were sliding off.  Another parishioner spoke to me in a whisper. I didn’t understand her but nodded like a fool.  We survived. Emilie asked us to join the others for coffee. I thanked her but said I had a meeting.  I wanted to get a lone with Madigan and wring his neck. But once he was out of the church he played with her dog and was adorable. He was so happy with our outing. In the car I couldn’t very well chastise him now. He was a really good guy, happy to be with me. Happy with all these people and happy to have made another dog friend.

God might well be a dog. 

Zoroastrian’s celebrated the dog,

In Hitchiker’s guide to the Galaxy the mice were the higher species doing experiments in the labs on the scientists.

God is good, All of the time. 

With Madigan I realize the challenge my parents had raising me.  I love that my nephews and god children are being raised by loving parents. I’m not very tolerant of Madigan in public. At home he walks all over me. But in public I notice I’m still embarrassed when he jumps up on people. He launches himself right into the crotches of women head first. They definitely have mixed reactions. But I try to stop him .  I don’t blame him. I’d like to meet and greet that way too. Now with Covid we are all so far apart.  I’ve so little contact in my virtual world.  Madigan is my hug buddy.  He’s learning not to jump up on me though he forgets and does. I’ve spent little time teaching him. My previous dogs had much more time and expectation and training,  I’m still teaching him ‘down’ and ‘no’ and ‘sit’.  He has food available all the time and doesn’t particular care for treats unless they’re from my plate.  I know the way is to control him with food but I don’t do that.  He’s ‘spoiled’. He’s more a room mate than a dog. 

Lord Jesus help me with my dog Madigan. Help me have patience and take time to train him more .  

Thank you for all my teachers and mentors. Thank you for the leaders I’ve been blessed to know. Thank you for this life. Thank you for St. Barnabus and Priest Emilie. Thank you for the mall where I must head out to again today.  

I’m getting red finger nails and toe nails for Christmas.