Monday morning, new week

I have a difficult case I’ll talk to Gary with first thing this morning.  It disrupted my sleep and was on my mind throughout the weekend. I was told by a woman I knew who had a business with multiple staff that if someone caused her to lose her peace of mind over the weekend she’d fire the person or close the contract.  Her peace of mind was that important to her.

I know this is a case of my people pleasing, caring for others more than I care for myself despite Jesus saying love your neighbour as yourself. I know I’m a mark for psychophats and sociopaths and must establish boundaries or do something to protect myself so the problem doesn’t continue.

I have the self pity reflex too. I don’t believe anything I do will protect me from the institutions that support the criminals. My experience with the beuorcrats repeatedly is that they have supported the psychopaths and sacrificed me despite my doing the ‘next right thing’.  

I’ve an unresolved issue with authority. I don’t trust God to be loving but rather consider God a ‘trickster’, a coyote.  I am forever challenged and fear if I let down my guard I’ll be brutalized and humiliated. I am trying to keep low. My issue with gender is that as a woman I don’t think I’d pos a threat. I obviously posed a threat as a whistle blower and as a truth teller. I’m a threat now because I continue to point out the lies and hypocrisy of authority.

But what is there for me to do if I don’t. 

I am too old for this shit.

It’s time for the next generation to speak truth to evil. And the evil I see is communist China, the religion of aetheists.  I don’t like the Palestinians and jihadists either. I’m pro LGBT and don’t think people who are anti bikini’s have made it to this century.  I also think that sexuality is a private matter and that a secular society has red light districts and room for every religious persuasion. Yet the fundamental rule is ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ .  Also ‘live and let live’. Tolerance and respect for one another.  Your customs and habits may not be mine but I can accept them out of sight out of mind. I don’t like prosyletizing and I really don’t like these mobs of people marching in the street. 

I think our democratic institutions and legal systems of justice can’t deal with tribal cultures.  Block voting and lack of ID are at issue

I’m thankful today for the flowers.  I am thankful for the trees and grass. I’m thankful for the morning quiet I experience walking my dog. Thank you for Madigan.  Help make my home whole so I can be mobile Lord. Thank you for my family and friends and work. Help those people I know.  Help me address my anger and fear. Help me be forgiving.  Guide me in all my endeavour. Let me know thy will and give me the power to carry it out.  

Thank you Jesus