Gilbert, the Cockapoo, is Three Years Old

Gilbert is three years old. Right now he is involved in an experiment. So far alone he has attracted far more beautiful young women than he does with me. He is presently being photographed by a couple of street photographers with big cameras. It's obvious he was right. I've been cramping his style.
He's let me know, now that he's three, he expects a place at the head of the table. He expects me to make myself scarce when the sweet little cockapoos come over to visit. He'd like his own can opener too, made so it can be worked with paws.
His friend Laura sent him an new squeaky toy but he'd rather have live birds, like chickens and maybe little rodents like hampsters. He's knows the toys are an imitation of the real thing so being that much older he thinks he should be able to graduate to "live" to. He thinks Hannah could arrange for him to kill at least one chicken each day at the office. He did like the chewy that Laura sent.
Apparently he also dictated a letter to Hannah earlier in the day demanding a representative from the pet therapist union be sent over. He'd like to lodge a few complaints about his working conditions. He'd like the carpet replaced with dirt so he can do a little digging when the idea moves him.
He also wants the waiting room chairs to go. He's tired of jumping up on people so wants all his friends down on the floor where it's easier for him to kiss them and lick their faces.
He'd like the spa visits to be scrapped. When he rolls in dead fish he wants people to appreciate his right to personal expression.
Knowing that I get his best kibbles from Waga Babba pet store, he's planning an Occupy Waga Babba movement beginning soon. He expects a flash mob to join him.
He'd like to thank all the help and support he has had especially the walks that my assistants take him on. He misses Aim, Joanne and Elizabeth and hopes they'll visit him whenever they can. He wants Joanne to tell his girlfriend Kubie he especially misses her.
He likes off leash parks and when he's mayor of Vancouver he plans to convert all the bicycle lanes to off leash dog walks.
It's been a pretty good year for him. He enjoyed flying West Jet to visit Bill's family and Tanya in Ottawa. He liked chasing the squirrels in Ontario.
He liked sailing with Laura and Bill to Salt Spring Island and going on a cattle round up with Tom and Bill in Merritt. He's looking for more adventures this year so hopes everyone will help him have the best year of his life.
In conclusion he says 'thanks'. Bow Wow. Gilbert!