Monday, November 16, 2009

Prepare for Cleansing

Prepare for Cleansing p28 Drop the Rock, BillP.ToddW.SaraS. Hazeldon.
"How is our language used? Are we gaining maturity? "
I sometimes think my language was best when I read alot and knew nothing. I was a 'yuppie' once and considered the 'golden boy". I was well pruned for high places and admired by some. I almost learned to say the present day "heil hitler' having the same kind of zeal for the political correctness of today as the Nazi youth had for the political correctness of Germany in the 30's and 40's. I would have made such a good young Communist aparatchik too when I was so much younger. My language at the time was rather pristine and I dressed in three piece suits and was very dapper. I had the wife and the suburban house and attended all the right functions. I was very much 'the university man". I almost became an academic. Almost.
There is no doubt I've matured. I'm just concerned at times that I've become jaded. I don't want to be naive to the disease of the university or the suffocating staleness of the protected and removed. I know the power of the critic and the safety of the beaurocrat. I don't want to ever go back to the 'innocense." I talked with the snake and I'm glad I ate the apple even if it put me out of the garden. The relationship I had with God back then was umbilical. Today I work at it but it's more a mature relationship and I'd not give up my time in the dessert for an "honary degree', a "pat on the head" , a "good boy or good girl" accolade, "indexed pension" or any of the medals that come with as much mixed blessing as my own collection of awards and achievements. The achievements that I most admire are too often not considered as valuable who would have a part of me but don't want the 'whole." I don't like the 'hollow men' that T.S. Elliott so described and yet today those very Hollow Men take pride in not knowing T.S. Elliott.

"Do we swear a lot and make crude remarks about the opposite sex and use biased and prejudiced language?
"I still swear too much. I try not to. I think at times I have Tourettes. It just pops out like fingernail biting which I still do. I didn't used to swear. I spent years with very proper language. I also mixed with the 'right' people and none of us 'swore 'or used profanity. We just killed with negligence and were corrupted by the impeccably mannered. I learned later that psychopaths and sociopaths are the very best chameleons. Jesus used vulgar language. Many of my heros were "unpolished". I have seen too much that is not "polished" but merely "protected". The ivory tower and the 'courtly courts' of today's monarchs and other corporate designates know how to use profanity without swearing and live disgusting deceit lives without any mention of genitalia or the sex act. They say things like "pacify" and "peace missile" and "re educate" and have so fucked with the language that Christians such as I are seriously asking what words will be appropriate when too many Christians fill the church who don't 'shit' . The government put out a memo asking that soldiers don't swear when wounded as it's bad 'pr' for the war effort. I once found it really easy not to swear. I lived in a rich house in a rich part of town and hadn't heard Pete Seegers "Little Boxes" song.
That said I swear too much still and know my father, mother and aunt and brother and sister in law would like it if I didn't, as would I. Maybe I'm getting too old for that shit anyway. Besides the blacks are doing it and it's not white to swear! I could end up as prime minister of Canada.

As for crude remarks about the opposite sex. All my life I've heard put downs by women against men. Maybe in the 50's there was this other way around but my life has been a litany of feminist negativity and the promise of a better world when women were in charge and wherever women have been in charge they've taken the country to war and women in charge seem to just do what men in charge did, abuse power, get corrupt, fool around, lie, steal and such. So I've backed too many women and been disappointed. I don't make crude remarks about the opposite sex but I sure am tired of all the crude remarks I hear women making about men. I've even got into physical fights challenging men who made crude remarks about women. I've defended women a hundred times physically and verbally. I just don't see much going the other way . I don't see women physically defending men other than blood and I don't see women routinely shutting up women in the media who shoot their mouths off about men. I know they do and it's probably the media selection of women that's the problem. In my life personally I've known the greatest women in the world. I've admired and loved the finest of women. My cup runneth over with women who have been extraordinary. I wasn't predjudiced but I felt like I did when I supported a political party that said their winning would be good for everyone and it was only good for themselves. I find myself wanting to move to Australia or some other civilized country when I hear how emotionally fragile rich priviledged academic Canadian women are and see how poorly the east end women are treated. There's these huge gaps and yet even questioning it is 'against gender religion'. Like at church where they say the creed as "she" but it's 'written"as "he" and I just like it when everyone is saying the same thing . But women power there has to override the group unison ofwhatI think is spiritual versus the other which I think is political. To God we are all feminine anyway. And politically they say 'mother god" but won't say 'goddess' becuase one is okay and the other is not. These are major "flag debates" that consume billions in resources like the 'gun registry' when so many more important things (to me ) are not being addressed. Like health care. Poverty. And how the rich steal with sleight of hand and think by "tokenism" you're getting democracy.
Yes I'm aware of when I use "biased" language and am aware that I have predjudices. I like hunting and am very predjudiced against people who don't like hunters. I believe in 'live and let live 'but it's 'cool' to be vegetarian right now and not cool to be a 'meat eater". It's okay to spray paint someone wearing mink or put spikes in trees that kill loggers. I don't know about this stuff. I don't like being 'predjudiced" against "terrorists" but I am 'predjudiced" against terrorits and I' m 'biased" towards democracy."
The truth is that political correctness and the language of political correctness is a weapon and one of the ugliest propaganda tools going.
Yet in step 6 I'm being asked to look at these things and clearly I do and have. I"m a writer and communicator and hypnotist and therapist and consider my language and behaviour under the electron microscope from a dozen different angles all the time. I've been under the microscope all my adult life. Professional men especially professional white men and older males in our society in general are suspect always and there's very little wiggle room except for the rich and powerful. The rest of us are trying desperately not to lose bowel control or fall asleep during the day. We've been walking upright for a lot of years.
And yes, I can do a better job. This thing is about me. I've got to change. The world will change as much when I am open to seeing the change. I recognise that I meet 100 great women and remember the real bitch or I'll hear a hundred great things and focus on the lousy thing. I'm the one that has to change .I've got to look at my character short comings and ask am I what I ant to be. No I'm not. But it's spiritual progress not perfection , thank God. And yes God I ask your help with this because as a doctor I am expected to be God especially by the Beaurocrats who are God and I'm expected to please everyone and not be a people pleaser, be truthful but popular and not make a mistake but not be a perfectionist. The list is ad infinitum. I might as well have been an orthodox Jew because the list of rules for "correct" behavior is beyond human scope. So yes God please help me.

The writer has alot more in that one paragraph.It goes on to discuss'gossip' which I'm pretty good at not doing. Drop the Rock is a good book. Even if it's irritating. Like the best therapists I ever had. Like my best teachers. Irritating. Loving.

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