Sunday, November 15, 2009

Excessive Masturbation

Within minutes of writing "excessive masturbation" , 3 piece suited men and women descended from helicopters with clipboards, butterfly nets and chastity belts, ECT tazer instruments set on full auto. I was pinned down in seconds and had my privates exposed. Using advanced cameras with electron microscopic features they took multiviews of my penis and video taped it as well. No signs of abrasion were apparent to the naked eye but not withstanding lack of hard evidence my hands were put in 2010 Olympic mittens. I thought this was an award ceremony until they pulled out the white tape and taped them together.

I had my Sex Addict's Anonymous Scoresheet which showed I still haven't qualified. I tried to explain that 'excessive' could mean once or one hundred times depending on attitude. It's more a personal thing but that's not the way the thought police believe these days. Anything 'sexual' is illegal. This is Canada. Masturbation especially.

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