Foggy morning

Last night I took a propane tank in my Mini to the Lougheed gas station to have it filled, It’s been cold these mornings. I’ve been anxious about heat.  I miss the tropics of Saipan.  I’m looking forward to driving south to warmth in a few weeks

“Is it foggy like this often?” The gas station asked.  He was brown skinned and I knew that would offend some racist if he knew I was thinking in colour. But those haters lump my freckled white and broken skin as white lumping me with the peaches and cream English lot. 

“Not so much here in Burnaby but it’s really foggy in winter near the sea.  False Creek Kitsilano, ‘

I’m from India and I’ve only been here a couple of winters.  It’s very foggy there’.

‘Where in India?” 

“Punjabi”.

“I was there four years ago I was in Delhi, Bombay and Kerala. I loved the warmth in the south.’

He was masterfully filling my propane tanks making it look so easy.  He then lifted it into the back of my car for me.  I liked that he was caring for me I expect because of my age,

There had been so many Singhs in the news recently for crime that I wondered about the culture of India.  Aren’t the mother’s raising their children right any more.  I didn’t like the Singh who was caught with dozens of catalytic converters.  Mine had been stolen off my Ford F350 in my parking lot.  I felt there needed to be worse laws against theft of men’s transportation.  It used to be your horse was inviolate. The joke is that no one sees children on bicycles only meth addicts on stolen ones .  My friend has had her workman’s tools stolen from her van twice this year.    She couldn’t work that day till she went out and bought new tools, a major expense in her trade.  

I was raised with the 10 commandments.  Thou shalt not murder. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt no bear false testimony.  Yet Canadas has such weak laws as to encourage crime under Trudeau our prime minister whose family has been called the ‘communist crime family’.  Communists don’t even have truth gut always defer to the latest edict of the party. Power is right.  Most have fear based societies,  But integrity is about doing the right thing even if no one is looking,

“It’s too hot in Keralla in the summer.” He said.  We’d walked into the till and he was ringing up my order $35.  $10 dollars cheaper than when its delivered,

“I’m driving down to Mexico in a couple of weeks,  It’s too hot in summer but older I find the cold in Canada less appealing,”. He was smiling like he understood old people and their preference for heat,  We become like reptile dependent on the sun to mobilize our bodies.,  He’s young and warm blooded,

I drove away in the fog liking the young man feeling his simple kindness and care had reassured me about his people.  I have so many friends from other cultures.  The Sikhs I know unlike our opposition leader are wise and caring.  The media portrays that Sikh as a baffoon The media portrays everyone negatively.If it bleeds it leads. 

“All my friends were from all over ,” she told me showing me a picture of a half dozen girls as teens, every colour and shape and size represented.  I moved to Saskatchewan for a couple of years and though everyone was so white I felt black because my upbringing in Kits had been so multi ethnic.” 

I would have thought more of this but I was remembering bicycling in the south of France seeing the yellow headlights in the low lands where the fog along the river was pea soup thick.  I was with the mot beautiful woman in the world andd young and in love.,  I like that memories like that and the time in Kerallas with another gorgeous female creature come to mind, I feel rich and warm then,  The chill goes out of the night and I’m warmed by all the blessings I’ve been known.

 Just now collecting propane and meeting a delightful young human from halfway around the world away in a country I’ve visited a couple of times and so enjoyed the richness of culture.  Here I love the tandoori chicken and mango lassis. We’re mostly introduced to novelty gastronomically like babies who will put anything in their mouth.  We beginning open mouths and some of us are fortune to remain open minded but there are sadly those whose minds are so open whatever marbles they had fall out.

I’m here saying the serenity prayer.  Thank you God.  Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 

It’s foggy again today. I must dress and hurry to the clinic.  The day is beginning, I’m truly grateful for this life and this world I’ve so thankful for all the blessings,  Without white I’d not appreciate black and without black I’d not appreciate white,  I’m so glad my mind is not binary but appreciate the full spectrum.  When I’m afraid or angry I’m reduced to us and them but when I’m calm I know God is all and I’m so thankful to feel the presence of this higher power.  Thank you God for this life, this creation, today the events I will face and the good memories I carry. Thank you for peace of mind. I know that now I see through the glass darkly. I play hide and seek with Jesus in the foggy days and love the light and warmth of your love and gaze, Thank you God. 

Latest life review

I woke at 4 am today. I was having a good sleep and sweet dreams with visitations of family who have passed,  I’d gone to bed early at 9 and read till 10 am,  It seems that 6 hours is all the sleep I need now. I tried to return to sleep but didn’t.  I cuddled Madigan petting him and repeated prayers. At 5 am I climbed out of bed to begin my day,  Toilet and shave and brushing hair.  It was chilly. I was in tshirt and underwear but pulled on sone sweats,

I brought out the chair I use and sat to meditate,  I was there for a half hour.  

I am asking God to keep me sober and sane. I pray for family and friends and patients., I ask for meaning and purpose and guidance. Today I prayed that he would take my hand and lead me. I’ve had enough directions, I have so many maps But still i wander off course. I feel lost. Even though I’m probably not. On a good day I’d see it as playing hide and seek with God. Now I’m just a bit tired winding down to being off work. 

I’m looking forward to heading south. I’m like the birds.  The child has touched me, Migration time, I’ve fulfilled a myriad of tasks with passports and chip up date for the dog, truck maintenance and camper maintenance, I’ve arranged for storage.  Last night I took a couple of large bags of clothes and shoes to the storage bin, many moving parts. 

The Post Office Strike has interfered with my Christmas gift giving.  A number of toys were returned and now I don’t know what I’ve sent. I’ll ask the parents.

I’ve been concerned about finances .It’s unreasonable and I need to be grateful. The trigger is travel and time off.  It bothers me that Trudeau has been so incompetent, corrupt and a spend thrift causing excess inflation and continuing to give our money to illegal imnmigrants,  I’m going through the states and the Canadian dollar is only 70 cents under Trudeau. 

The media is full of stories of criminal behaviour and every once in a while i feel anxious about adventure, I’m like a Hobbit older, I could just stay home then one day I’ll just stay in bed.  I asked Peter who gypsies with his Allegra and Larry if he was concerned about the election affecting Southern California.  He wasn’t . That was assuring, I don’t want to be in riots with a camper a dog and a Vespa.  

I’m better equipped for virtual work and travel this year. I enjoy my Apple office and Starlink and cellular communication.In fact I want to go to do it one more time at least to prove to myself I’ve honed the skill, I’m actually looking forward more to visiting relatives in May, seeing the little ones, I’d go there rather than south but am concerned about driving difficult roads in winter.  I have the outboard boat to bring back too. Fishing plans.

God I am yours.  You have given me this life, You are my creator,  I don’t consider myself a random event.  My presence is solely due to your grace, I am blessed too with the fond memories of parents and grandparents and teachers and mentors. It’s been a hard journey but with discipline, resilience and struggle I’ve come through this far.  I still am weighted by the memories of trauma, humiliation, failure, shame, struggle conflict. That’s not a true reflection of the journey but rather the errors of my media mind.  If it bleeds it leads.  I’m so thankful that more often now I’m reminded of all the blessings I’ve received.  God, you are good all the time, 

I ‘d love to tell my mother I loved her one more time, I ‘d love to tell my father I loved him one more time. I ‘d like to say the same to my Aunt Sally and brother Ron,  I’d love to say farewell to ex wives and intimate friends and remember them for the best not the worst. I want to be more forgiving. I do miss sex and nudity and the carefree confidence of youth. 

I feel alone and must remember you are there and there is a phone I can call others with,  I’m more of a recluse due to my work,  I don’t like the pain but won’t exercise enough.

I’m not sure of religion or politics.  It’s confusing.  I don’t like that Biden pardoned his coke addicted psychopath of a son, the king pin in his criminal family but then I’d pardon my son if I was a father. I’m too indulgent of my dog,

I watched BLITZ last night and enjoyed it though I don’t like the secular religion preachiness about racism and socialism.  There was even a Jews soft selling Marx and portraying the physical as spiritual,  Capitalism and corporatism and progress I’m weary of the out dated politics.  I’m enjoying Yellowstone.

What I do get excited about is the Starship.  I like the idea of space travel, I want to meet other races from other planets, I want to be enlightened by Jesus Christ, the trans dimensional being who will lift me out of my ego and limitation and tendency to catastrophic and self pity,.  I am the hero in my Joseph Campbell Journey but the Fool in the deck of tarot. I grieve my innocence and want sophistication but fell trapped between the two,  Twin spirited,  I missed church on Sunday. I slept in. I enjoyed hearing Christmas carol on Praise in the car and singing along.

I would do that which is right but don’t and i would not do that which i wrong but I do,  Sin and addiction, I look for joy and god in the wall of creation or in my mind. I love laughter,

I am grateful, I go to the clinic to day so have to dress.  I’ll see Mary Lou and Garry. There’s a new doctors Roberts I don’t know and  the new young psychiatrist. I realize I’m the old elephant and feel the lack of respect but know I’m just tolerated till there’s a drought and everyone needs the old again.  I was thinking how Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran wrote and sang soothing music like lullabies.  We need our love stories but they we faced Vietnam and now there’s Ukraine and Syria and Israel and South China Seas,  There’s a cacophony of noise and the young people want to either express anger in rap or be soothed by pretty. 

 I wanted awakening when I was young, looking to religion and philosophy anthropology, science, psychology, for answers, I readDoystoyevski ,  Black like me and Gun Germs and Steel later. . Now I’ve just read gene and artificial intelligence,  I was thankful to pass the Oxford course on Prehistory and write an essay on shamanism,  I’m thankful to have had Adell and Aim to reach out to.  I too easily forget that I know the best of the best people and they are there to help.  I think of Phillip Ney and want to visit but he’s on the island and I’ve not taken the camper on the ferry.  Then there’s Willie too and both have the Bible and family. They’re father’s and related to God the father but I’m a childless man and think of aunts and uncles,  I’m anima and animus.  I’m a childlsss man.  

I have to pay the WPATH and Doctor dues.

I have a dog, Thank you God for Madigan,  He’s come close to being neutered and to being euthanized ,  I worry about his viciousness when he’s around Laura and yet alone with me he’s adorable. I don’t know about the dynamic of three,  Two adults and a child, He constantly wants to be the boss in that arrangement annd is psychotic trying to hump her, something about hormones, pheromes and treats. and feels that Laura and He are together against me. It’s a classic Mother Son against Father dischord.  I’ m back in family 101 and don’t want to be trying to guide women. The same dynamic occurs over and over , the under mining,  the female lion and old male.  No wonder we want to be alone.  Then I’m with my dog and we’re okay and she’s off with her whole social network.  It’s all about sex.  She’s here and  I’m unable to control my dog’s behaviour .  I think it’s microcosm of society and our times. The Muslim religion with four wives and sex slaves and concubines is flouring while Christian me go without sex or gay. The feminists are outdated and strange with major masochistic or rape fantasies wanting Hamma over Israel.. 

My dogs before were different and socialized,  this guy is a covid dog with little socialization in the first year adn then terrible trauma with hair cuts and now very anxious and defensive yet dependent and adorable. I just feel he’s my responsibility. I have this duty streak and the gene is strong.  Like truth and love and a whole group of other traits we called Christian or Canadian or such.  Now they’re all disparaged by our leadership and media and we’re condemned. All our successes are being taken from us and torn down while we’re disarmed and the women are celebrating the pretty boys.  Long necked women of the bible,  Toxic masculinity. Dirty whites. Kill bill. There’s even a movie and the rats and mice. Feed at night on the dead left over from the war.

I don’t know what I’m doing. I loved when Cunk said she was asked what she was going to do in 5 years and she said she was just trying to get to Friday.  

I enjoyed the VSO at the Opheum and loved the  violinist playing Stravinsky. I do like Tausk too. A lovely evening,  We're going to Bach Choirs’ Hansel’s Messiah at the symphony this week. I would like to go to the Nutcracker,  RWB is in town and Goh is doing it again.  I liked the Pacific Theatre Christmas show in the past but haven’t been so engaged since Ron stepped down. I have not been to a ballet this year. I am looking forward to going to the theatre and museum in LA and maybe San Diego. I’ve been reading up on the Impressionists and wanted to go to Berlin, Vienna and Venice. Laura is better now she’s seen a doctor.  The issue of health and stamina and financies are all ‘limiting’ especially as I have the disease of ‘more’.  What I need is more gratitude and more presence,  Practicing the presence of God.  

I’m enjoying the Ethiopian coffee. I roasted more beans on the weekend.  

Thank you Jesus for a new day. May I serve you and do the best I can and be the best doctor today.  Thank you

  

Dark Morning

It’s dark outside. I woke at 530 am, Darkness,  Now it’s 730 am and there’s some light in the southern sky. 

I read social media and news. Epoch and Tucker, Facebook, Instagram and X.  I felt tired and depleted after that. I’d woken from dreams of being with friends.  Kayaking at the beach ,  Community. I loved seeing Art,  He’s a reserve Air Force colonel,  He became excited showing me a transport plane he was cleared for,  I know the feeling of having larger boats gives me, The increased sense of power but I do like the nimbleness of my Vespa today,

There are two sides to me, Anima and Animus,  Vespa and Harley.  The Vespa takes me back to when I loved to cycle everywhere but the Harley is part of my Ford F350 truck and trailers.  I supposed I long these days for both a house and parking lot and my simple truck and camper,  

I do identify with the idea of ‘twin spirited’.  Yet the bible bemoanss the double minded.  I’m clearly wanting God, I meditated today on my rekatiuonbship, I read of the fellow who talked to God driving to work, He called that meditation,  Prayer to me is talking to God ,  Meditation listening,  Today I repeated the word OM as I sat mindful of my breath., My mind would flit to various thoughts and scenarios and I’d bring it back, I liked wherein the circle of light formed in my mind dnd I thought of times past as I explored this ‘may the circle be unbroken’. Moment. Other times I counted flaming numbers in my mind, I was creative in days past,

Today there is just today. Memories are just that. I’m in my routine and slowly progressing.  I’m not pulled or pushed and certainly not in a hurry.  I was once so driven.  Today I’m not in a rush.  I might even develop some patience,  I will know God today in your actions and ny actions and the unfolding of the day,

I prayed to be sober and alert, I like the parable of the candles and waiting for the master’s return,  

That’s another part of me I miss, the hippy.  God seeking hippy.

Probably these thoughts are coming to mind as the war between Russia and Ukranie is stirred up by outgoing Biden regime,  Politics is draining,  All these people wasting lives.  Malthus.  War and plague.  

I miss dancing too. I become whistful about past activity.

My circle of friends is narrowed. I’m not nearly as active. I walk the dog.  When the Jets were taken out of the whirlpool I stopped going there and swimming at the same time. I thought to do that today.  

A part of me is in limbo waiting to head south,  Long hours of driving.,  Great views, Challeges.  Adventure. I’d just as soon drive across Canada but the snow makes driving a truck with a camper a bit too challenging, The attraction of the south is heat and sunshine. I’m uncertain whether to head for Rasarori or Algadores.  I hope to stop in LA on the way south so I can cvisit some art galleries, I’ve been enjoying the impressionists,  I’m reading the history and lives like someone might read the stories of rock stars,  I’m a bit of a groupy that way.

Tonight I’m seeing and hearing thee VSO performa Stravinsky.  I pick up Laura at 6.

There’d s meeting at noon,.  

I certainly could make a run to the storage locker to drop things off but that could wait till tomorrow There’s some work I could do, phone calls to be made.  I’m also enjoying the thriller I’m reading and could do a litttle read and nap on thee couch with a nearby cup of coffee,

It’s a fairly blank slate I ask myself how best I can fill in the spaces.  I do a lot in spurts, I’ve done a week of work some days even more than 8 hours and gone out a couple of times to clinics, It’s the off time I’ve been questioning,. I’ve completed a variety of government forms and licenses, I rely on a PO Box and the mail strike is certainly negatively affecting my business and Christmas preparation,  Peter has a private mail service and I m now seeing the merit in that. Mail should be an essential service if I’m considered an essential service.  I filled out he new dog travel to the US form and received the receipt.  That was a coup.  Madigan’s need for eye drops alerted me to the new border crossing regulations, 

I’n enjoying Elon Musk’s progress on Sarship and his complaints about government overreach and cover regulations.  I feel the weight of government especially the WEF ditactor want to be Trudeau and all the totalitarian moves with censorship and communist chinese involvement in our elections and government. Indeed the media emphasis is irritating.  I’m seduced into their pet peeves and the propaganda invades like rats,  I know it’s Friday.

I’m Alive, I’ve food and shelter heat and safety and purpose and plans and family and friends, I’m blessed.  I’m grateful. Thank you God for this day.  

Sin and the 12 steps

Richard Rohr, Franciscan monk, proposed that sin was the biblical word for what we call addiction today.  Sin was used in archery to denote ‘missing the mark’.  

 In Romans 7:19 Paul said, For I do not do the good I want to do but the evil I do not want to do …this I keep doing.”

This gets to the core of intention and outcome.  Dr. Phillip Ney felt that the second law of nuclear physics pertained to sin in the world,  A perfect state would be described by the first law of thermodynamics without entropy.

Milton in Paradise Lost best described the first angel , Satan, as preferring to look at his shadow than to turn around and lose himself in the light of God’s gaze.  

Pride is the first sin and also the hubris of the Greek philosophers.  

The 12 step programs once called  the “way out’, describe the individual aa overwhelmed by separation and alienation and seeing their individuality, the ego, as all.  Psychological studies of alcoholics and addicts showed them to be developmentally regressed, selfish and self centered..

Anna Freud, the child analyst daughter of Sigmund, described the developmental journey from the narcissism of the baby to the altruism of the grandparent.  Alcoholics and addicts were seen as “stuck’ in childhood or adolescence using coping skills which no longer served in the mature adult world.  

C.S. Lewis , the great Christian theologian said ‘ don’t look for God in the wall’.  That’d like looking for love in all the wrong places.  

The old joke about the materialist scientist of the distant future is that they confront God and say they can create human and all of life from dirt just as God did. But as they are about to demonstrate their prowess God says, ‘get your own dirt’. 

In the church the sins have been separated in to most serious or mortal or lesser. Venial..  Pride is considered to generate all other sins,    Humility is considered the ultimate antidote as is the understanding of Grace,  The song of addiction is Frank Sinatra’s I did it my way’.  I especially like the Eagles Song, Desperado. The first step of AA is ‘surrender’ but not as in the military use of the word which my friend skips to say ‘her own position was likely overrun’.   It’s more like the Kenny Rogers song the Gambler. You have to know when to fold them,  We don’t need to take the down elevator to the basement or subbasement. We can get off at any floor.  

The 12 mortal sins are 

1, Murder

2. Adultery

3. Theft

4. Bearing false witness

5.  Blasphemy 

6. Apostasy

7. Despair

8. Gluttony

9. Greed

10. Lust

11 Sloth

12. Envy

AA and NA address these in the 12 steps and it’s interesting to consider the 12 step spin offs that have occurred.  Sexaholics anonymous focuses on lust , Overeaters anonymous on Gluttony.  Indeed Alcoholics, narcotics, cocaine anonymous and marijuana anonymous could all be said to focus on gluttony and sloth.  The addiction is not just what is done but what is neglected.  

Dr AbrahamTwerski addresses much of these ‘errors’ in his classic book ‘Addictive thinking, understanding Self Perception.  The alcoholics and addict wants to be the ‘victim’ and say ‘poor me, poor me, poor me another drink’. Yet in AA the men say’ get down off the cross we can use the wood’.  

The idea of right size is finding purpose and meaning and joy and pleasure in right measure but not in over indulgence or unhealthy abuse,  As Joni Mitchel sang of Wood stock we have to get back to the garden. For  most that means we have to sacrifice something, the apple being the image.  Each person’s apple is different.  The epidemic of America is obesity and fentanyl and the study of disease is about not judging the person who has a different addiction  Take the log out of your own eye before you try to take the sliver out of another’s eye, said Jesus.

Trungpa, the great Buddhist teacher,said that we in the west suffered ‘spiritual consumerism’. We wanted to ‘own’ and keep that which is at best rented or leased.  Ernest Becker wrote the classic psychiatric book, the Denial of Death.  Existential angst is fundamental root of human existence.  Yet in communion we can love and only love conquers all.  Jung talked of the shadow self. In 12 steps they say we are as sick as our secrets. Addiction is the symptom of the spiritual disease. The anxiety we feel is described as the god shaped hole that substances can’t fill but community can. We are not alone.

Gratitude Monday

Thank you for this day, for life, for Madison, for sobriety, for light, for heat, for scent, for sight, for feelings.

Thank you for thermonuclear reactions

Thank you for DNA

Thank you for food and kitchens and living rooms and indoor plumbing

Thank you for Madigan,

Thank you God for all creation, Thank you creators. Thank you for ‘luck’ and ‘chance’ and ‘coincidence’ and all the other ways you act anonymously. Help me see you in of the events of my day. Help me do better to day to be a better person and more kind and wise.  Thank you Creator Thank you Holy Spirit.

Thank you for love, Thank you for family and friends,  I pray they all do well today. Thank you for work, Help me be the best I can be and be of service to those who I can help.

Thank you for clean air and the recent rains and recent blue sky.  

Thank you for oceans and mountains and meadows,

Thank you for nano technology and the crisper.

Thank you for universities and colleges and schools, Thank you for good judges and good government.  

Thank you for communication.

Thank you for iPhone 16,  Thank you for vehicles Thank you for my Vespa 300 Super Tech GT. Thank you for my Ford F350 and Adventurer camper. Thank you for the city and the country and the opportunity to explore and drive.  Thank you for adventure.  Thank you for camping and coming home to the luxuries of running water and furnaces. 

Thank you for pottery and utensils

Thank you for hospitals and factories and airplanes,  Thank you for technology.

Thank you for choirs and Christmas and symphony and dance,

thank you for the Churches

Thank you Jesus,  Hallelujah

How elderly can stay in their own place

When people get older they are at risk of being institutionalized.  Elderly can be forgetful but so can the young. However if an old person leaves the bath tub water on floods the tub and damages the apartment building they will be considered a threat to their neighbours.

The other major reason for the elderly to lose their independence is leaving the stove on or causing a fire,

I used to be called out on home visits to assess if the elderly were ‘competent’ to live independently.  Water and fire were the principle concerns.  

Today there are devices that can be put on faucets to shut them off automatically.  They are called “automatic faucet shutoff’,  I found a cheap one at the Alzhemer’store but there are several more just line the ones in the airport

There’s also sensors that detect when you leave the stove on and also stove switches that are always on a timer to reduce risk of fires.  

When I head about these devices first in England help the old remain in their homes I looked on the internet and found a very few. Today I looked and there were many more. Amazon had a range of choices.  My plumber friends says she installs them.  I expect any electrician could install the stoce timers’

Burnaby after the Bomb Cyclone hits west coast

I pulled in my awning last night. My home was shaking.  Madigan was barking. I consider first an earth quake or someone hitting my home. The convulsive nature of the movement told me it was the awning. I rolled it in with some difficulty noting the heavy rain I’d only noticed then.  Laura had texted me her building was shaking.  On facebook Anita said their power was out. I was thankful for my generator.  

The weather station at the air port said we had 40 knot/hour winds gusting to 50’s.  On the Beaufort scale that was gale conditions. I’d sailed uncomfortably in these often.  I like4 30 knots and 40 at most or I was pulling sails. I’d been in storms and hurricanes but at sea with lots of open water I just had to face my fear with the cat and dog.  On land I’d no such fear.  There were 70 km to 100 km winds on the west coast.  I’d been knocked down in the Juan de Fuca so know that South easterlies out there are a major concern. Tofino would be wild.  Here in Burnaby we were okay.  I did see flashes on the power lines so knew conductors were blowing off to the west.  Exciting times.  I’m awed by the force of nature, humbled really. 

I stayed home after walking Madigan before the rains came.  I ‘d had a long day, driven into Doc Side and home, then seen patients virtually into the evening. I considered going out for fast food but remember the chilli I had in Tupperware.  Thank God for microwave.  With toast I was fine.. 

The furnace kept me warm with the dancing flames of the electric fireplace.  I watched Cross occasionally glanced at Facebook to see how others were handling the weather.

Sadly the crazy weather change cult were crying that it was the act of GAIA their god and we would all die because we’d used plastic.  The worst of the fools is Trudeau who sounds more and more like a deranged televangelist demanded more taxes or your genitals would shovel and we’d all be dead because you didn’t take him seriously enough. More doomsaying going on about monkey virus.  Then demented Joe Biden tells Zelenskyy to send long range missiles into Russia.  Trump is to take presidency Jan 6 and had already spoken to Putin about Peace talks.  But no, the Democrats and Kamala want war and any means to maintain power. They really are afraid of what may come to light when they can no longer control the FBI. It’s like the Stazi and the fall the East Germany.  

Democrats who had accused the Republicans of being violent and not want to turn in their guns to the Democrats are now calling for Civil War and the assassination of Trumps. He’s survived two actual attempts by the grace of God.  The US Democrats seem as deranged as Trudeau and I just wonder what drugs they’re on.  The Chinese have been caught saying they manipulated the last TRudeau election with interference in a crucial 40 seats.

I’m normally immune3 to doom zooming. If it doesn’t bleed it doesn’t lead.  But Trudeau wanting WWW3 is concerning given what a foolish weak coward he is.  

My interest is I’m planning to drive south with truck and camper to spend a couple of months working from home in the south. I’d hoped to go to Rosario in Mexico even but wonder if Southern California will be safe.  I can just detour to Yuma where I’ve been the last two winters.  It’s safe and solid so that may be a plan. 

I am reading Richard Rohr’s Breathing Underwater. Rather I’m listening to the audio book. John gave me thee book years ago and I read it then.  Now I’m enjoying revisiting it the same way I enjoyed revisiting Mario de Beauregard and Evelyn Underwood,  

Today I look forward to my meeting as usual. I’m hope the Merry Maids come this week but it may be next week. I’ m taking the truck in for service tomorrow and may make a chiropractor apt with Dr. Ready for the weekend,  The doctors are having their Christmas meeting Sunday morning,  I did enjoy church last week,  I’ve tickets for Handel’s Messiah and the VSO .  Two nights at the Orpheum coming up. Life is good.

I’m thankful. I’m trying to be present always. Keep your head in the same place and time your ass is!  It resonates with me, But I do enjoy the moments of nostalgia. I was touched for a week there remembering coming home from school to have Mom waiting with tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of milk.  I loved that she had a Star Trek themed birthday party. I can think or mom and dad and my brother Ron and be thoroughly touched to the heart such that tears some to my eyes. I’m so thankful that I’m beyond the time when all I remembered was trauma and loss. Now the good times and they were mostly good times come to mind,

Thank you Jesus.