Davie Street

I left the little guy at home. I can see him on the security camera.  It serves as my baby cam when I’m away.

I rode the Vespa to David.  I was wanting to start PReP. It’s HIV prevention. I suspect it’s PTSD from my time in the VGH ER during the height of the Aids epidemic. I’m not sexually active with men but I always fear I wouldn’t say “no’.  I’ve had condoms with me at all times for decades. When ever I cross dress and go out I’m feel vulnerable. When I learned that PReP provided 99% efficacy as prevention from HIV I decided I should take it. 

I’ve wondered too about estrogens.  I’ve been with Laura for a couple of decades, fairly monogamous relationship with rare exceptions.  After divorce and all the losses , personally, emotionally and financially I really regretted the women I did’t sleep with. I decided after the last fiasco I’d not make a ‘committment’ sexually.  I find that women have lost interest with more security and my committment.  Laura of course is the best. Sex has been great for a couple of decades. She remains gorgeous but I’ve declined with age. I told a friend that the days and nights of lifting women and impaling them on a rock hard member are past. The lifting would not work with my painful back and even viagra would only make a leaning tower of Piza, searching for the angle would not be good. We’re both heavier than when we first met and older. Not in mind,mind you. 

It’s fun to be cross dressed, an attractive old lady, a Mrs. Doubtfire at best. Not a sexual object. Estrogen takes away the sex drive in men. The weight of years of service and being forever in parental mode, on call.. I feel no compulsion to ride to the rescue, fix the car, solve the problem, save the day, fight the dragons. I’ve a life of that. In a dress I’m more concerned with breaking a nail. Let other girls wear cammo and carry guns and wrenches. I cross dress and I’m off the clock. I’m receptive and observing. It’s another mode. 

For years I only felt comfortable out of the country beyond expectations. Now dressed as an old lady, a modern Klinger, I’m beyond the chronic criticism and demand for perfection. I’m in ‘girls just want to have fun mode.”

Great Thai lunch with Laura on Davie. I felt right at home as several others passed by. Considering women have been crossdressing, pant suits, slacks, jackets and ties, it’s fun to be among men who challenge the restrictions on male, the military uniform equivalent or worker jeans Man as Tool. Well I feel light, playful and childlike in a dress.It’s freeing. 

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