I’ve more work this morning. Working helps me procrastinate about cleaning away winter clutter and tidying. I’m thinking I’ll learn to pull this big rig and to do that I will need to stow.
I’ve been focussing on truth , that which I know is not hearsay but what I’ve experienced or even heard first hand by trustworthy reputable human source. I learned that Descartes did something similiar. Knowledge. Then there is memory. What I know and what I believe. I’ve journals for this and yet there is little need to consult them. The liars persist in lying even when confronted with the truth and the courts continue to put politics before justice. Even now there is censorship at all levels.
I’m happy this morning. I woke from good dreams, more of the peninsula and this time I had an apartment and looked out at the sea. There is hope. I had the back pain getting out of bed but walking it was gone. It’s just the transition from lying to standing. I’ve applied Balm of Ilead again. I’d wanted to go to the chiropractor now that I know the X-ray has nothing new. Yet I let the deluge of work this week with the despearate and angry demands over ride my own needs quite again. I miss the personal staff who once protected me by ensuring and remembering to not put two vampires consecutively. I was drained of energy before one morning ended and shuddered to face the afternoon.
I’ve been enjoying the dog walks with the black and white gang. Our little dogs, Dave’s Emory, Peter’s Luka and Bella. Men walking and talking. Kind of like those A&W coffee meets of old men but here we’re walking and the dogs are happy in the gang. I’m so much alone with work that the casual conversation is a treat. Billy joined us talking about singing in the choir and his girlfriend . He’s in his 80’s. We’re older. George called and is helping. The other George has countless stories and experiences. I worry about Murray and must call him. Barry called but didn’t leave a message.
I’m connected this way. I touch people and am touch. We text and share social media as well.
Each day I appeal to God. I ask God what is my purpose. I ask for guidance. I would know God more clearly. I’m able to sense God . God is an experience not so much an idea. I feel the presence of God. To do this I just have to detach from immediate cares and get out of the worries and fretting. Today I was just looking at the blue sky behind the clouds. Contemplating. I was absent from myself for a bit there. The ego is back of consciousness and the self and over self emerge.
My mind is so often on tasks and improvements and things to do. Business. I’ve been thinking of licensing my Harley or trading it in. I really would like to have my camping trailer. Frazerway has had it in their shop since last November and two insurance claims of $30,000 have been made but they wanted more money and frankly I don’t believe it’s worth it. They sold it to me and Laura and I heard their salesman promise there was no water damage. That’s a ‘precondition’ which was at issue in a previous rig so we were adamant about obtaining assurance about that. I think he even said they peel back places and made sure there was no damage before selling the unit. The seals were checked by Erik that sumner. I have my seals checked each year. Then Frazerway said the seals needed to be checked every 3 months and no where is it suggested RV owners climb up on the roof and check the seals . So the insurer is saying the water damage is pre existing but pre-existing the accident but that could only be a month to when the assessment was done but when the repair folk talk it’s like it’s months and years and they seem to suggest that they can tell the difference between 1 month of water damage and now it’s 6 months or more in their yard damaged so I really can’t see how they can know by observation and accuracy that the ‘pre existing occurred in 1 3 or 6 month. The point remains they sold it to me ‘without water damage’. It’s only a couple of years since I bought it and now they’re saying this $40,000 unit has need of essential $50,000 repairs and I need to pay $20,000 more. It’s obviously a whole lot of ‘clever’ buck passing and I’m deluged with patients knowing that all my life I’ve worked under market value when I’m not doing charity work because of the ‘clever’ and quite inferior business work sorts nickel dining and playing insurance games. I hate to think I’ve got to get a lawyer to deal with this sociopathy because they would rather wheel and deal than actually work but it weighs on me. I told this insurance company that I would have to ask a lawyer to deal with this because it’s no distracting and soul destroying. I hate the betrayal by the company. Either the water damage occurred after the accident or was there when Fraserway sold it. I’d settle for parity but to have this abuse of elderly. We don’t have the potential years that these hustlers have and I can’t sell a unit in their garage.
Given the St. Michael the avenger statue on the wall I know that God doesn’t want a good doctor abused and the consequence of the betrayal and deceit is as usually their themselves and their families being cursed for their evil. It’s always happened. I look back my back trail and see all these cases of disease and don’t think it’s just me but the mental state that has one conniving is sickness inducing. Further as I’m a nice guy when this is done to me then it’s likely they must have done this to really bad people and a whole ‘list’ so the attraction of evil incarnate they have explains the apparent ‘random’ bad luck they experience. I don’t wish this on them though if I’ve cursed someone they see to be cursed by so many. I pray for my enemies and struggle to let go of resentments so that I can focus on healing but with the devolution of Canada to a communist dictatorship under an aethest pervert criminal the most unethical idiot in our history it’s hard to let go of resentments. Jesus was killed by government and church . We get the government we deserve. I pray for healing and for all to be better. All shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well. I will consult my mentors and the multimillionaires and those in construction and the judges and MP’s soon to see if I need a champion or advocate. I expect these folk are just scared and recovering from Covid and God will solve this conundrum. I may just license my Harley and get some wind therapy so I’m not distracted in my meditation by the distractions.
I really am blessed. My home is good here. I have to clean the fridge. I shook out the carpet and cleaned the living room floor. I cleaned the toilet this week and last so I’m managing. There is clutter. My run to the storage locker was good. I might have to consider another. It’s the weekend and I worry about losing potential errand and work time by whittling it away reading. I have been thankful for my increased walks and swims.
Right now I’m trying to get the apps and passwords working again on the replacement iPad, It’s another task done. I am thankful for this new iPad but hate waiting on the phone to deal with assistance. Yesterday a n hour on the bank addressing their online password, Even the help couldn’t help and I was thorough frustrated by the offensiveness of their security people. I forget that the paranoids and sociopaths are employed and I only see the worst of them in my office. Whole industries celebrate paranoia especially now that there is war in Ukraine. It’s like the constant threat of the skies falling. Now we’re back to being threatened by nuclear war to add to global warning and Covid. There’s just not enough space in my mind and heart to handle the level of government hysteria and greed. I struggle to reassure patients they’re not going to die today and it’s okay to go outside and visit and yes wear a mask and yes get a vaccine but increasingly these are little more than burning sage the way the government arts students interpret the sciences and the lies and outright fraud in the sciences makes it all seem greed. I continue to take vitamin D and pray for the sun. I laugh to think that if Trump had been wholly pro vaccine and made a campaign for it then half of America would have rejected vaccines because of political affiliation. It’s seems to me the left wing moves emotionally and the right wing move intellectual meanwhile I’m afraid of the body of the bird where the beak and claws are an that great ever growing cancerous belling of the Beast of Government
I want to know more joy so must think of media and government less and focus more on the blue sky The sun has come out this morning. Hallelujah.
Thank you God for the sun, for skin, for air and blood and healthy hearts and healing and the children and the mothers and the parents and the fathers and the family and the friends. Thank you for the dogs and cats and safe homes. Thank you for clean water. Thank you for all your blessings.
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