Another friend is taking a cake. I’ve been on zoom meetings this week, my schedule ‘clicking’ with some doctors meetings even. I’ve such a heavy work week. This demand for me to drop everything and deal with an ancient case from decades ago when the lawyers want me again as the ‘expert witness’, a continued claim for damages. The medical opinions all align but the participants won’t agree and I don’t see that I can say any more today than I did then and I’ve written all I knew then and today it’s a different world. I’ve not even seen any of the people for a decade or more so don’t know why this is even a priority in the midst of covid when a week doesn’t go by with a patient today expressing suicidal ideation. So many are all alone and facing overwhelming stressors and its well reported talking to a psychiatrist briefly, not me, just one of my rank and training, stops the crisis. I’ve so enjoyed advising family physicians remembering when I was a family physician and how difficult the psychiatric patients were compared to infectious disease or other areas of medicine. I thought of it as three dimensional chess and the challenge attracted me as much as the fact that the mentally ill and addicted were most discriminated against.
Now I’m here on a Sunday with a free day and a dog. I admire others who are going on local adventures. On FB I see that friends are going out for hikes and taking their dogs to ‘special dog walks’. I did that when I lived on the north shore and we had that wonderful off leash dog walk where Gilbert met all his little friends. Here Madigan has several friends and on nice days we walk as a group, the gang, and Madigan is so happy to be ‘apart of’. Mostly he dominates me as his ‘human’. I have to remember as I read ‘chewing’ is the equivalent for Madigan. So many toys and bones have been consuméd here while I have read countless books.
I’m enjoying Stuart McBride’s detective series set in Aberdeen. The stories are reminiscent of Ian Rankin crime novels but lighter and more chaotic. Logan is the classic smart but somewhat jaded Clint Eastwood sort. Ian Rankins police are more like the Irish family in the NYPD series of Tom Selleck. I enjoyed Carole Lawerences Edinburgh detective series too. Preparation for travel. I’m plodding through the history of Scotland. Increasingly history seems mostly one group fighting another. Great tribal wars. I just read the history of the Moorish invasion of Spain, the betrayal of a Christian King assistant the Muslim conquest. It was Al-Andulsa to the Muslim empire. 500 years of conquest. I just read a Griff Hosker historical fiction book of the early el cid , The Castilian Knight, the first of the Reconquista Chronicles, set in the years of the downfall of the Muslim Empire .
I like historical fiction. I read it beside a regular history book and enjoy the interpretation and it certainly helps make the often drab history come alive.
So more reading today. I imagine I could take the Vespa out for a ride. I don’t have to. I’ve avoided people as much as possible with Omnicron. I just down want to get sick. It’s a bit like whether some one asked me if I wanted to get bit by one flea or many and I’d say none. There’s little congregation of people that needs my physical presence so I’m actually enjoying the isolation though I can tell it’s affecting me somewhat. I’m feeling that cabin fever isolation a bit. I don’t feel connected with others though the zoom meetings help. I notice that all my connections are old connections and I’m not make ‘new’ connections like I used to in meetings and church and school. I’m living off the ‘savings’ of good friends of old.
The forecast is for the post covid times to begin this spring. After I come back from overseas and begin camping again I expect I’m just going to accept the risk and get on with socialization. I look forward to rallies and concerts. I’ll certainly be social as a tourist overseas but fear quarantine before I go or before I come back. It doesn’t affect my work though I miss the colleagues . I actually had a lovely pleasant dreams of my colleagues in the clinic, chatting with staff and clinicians around the kitchen area enjoying the brilliance of my associates. I’m so intrigued by these interesting people. As we get older each person has a story. I hear the negative, sadness, tragedy in work but would love to hear more of the positives. I actually must write more of the good times.
I’ve had flashes of my past, the beautiful times with ex’s , the dancing, the cross country skiing, the down hill skiing, the boating, the bicycle rides, the love making, the concerts. The nights talking over coffee, the parties. I am so thankful when these memories arise. I’m weary of the resentments that come forward and I do all I can to dispel. My past is a garden and I don’t need to focus on the worms but that’s what I tend to. When I raised chickens I loved the individuals characters and their eggs and all the egg recipes and the joy but more often my mind takes me to the infestation of the rats and my one man war like Cuddyshack against these invaders. Today because I’m happy I can laugh at that but then I was wearied and self pitying over the frequent failures to dispel the little beasts.
I had mice here and am so thankful that these little blue light machines that emit this particular frequency have disturbed them enough to to move along. No more mice. I still wonder about having a cat and think about another one missing my cats I’ve had over the years.
I liked that they were Interdimensional beings and felt that they protected me as my dog does. The ‘pack’ each in it’s own way wanting the group to survive.
The sun has actually broken through the clouds. Hallelujah.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment