Good Morning God

Well, here we are another day, God.  I talk to you.  Formally in prayer. Lots of repetition and positive affirmation, mantra talk with mindfulness meditation and breathing and focus. I hope that hours upon hours of practice over half a century or more should help. But I could be doing it wrong and I can’t rest on my laurels.  But it’s not like I’ve just begun seeking this relationship.  My mother taught me about you and prayer as a little child. I know all about the Hound of Heaven. It’s like you’re a lover.

But I do feel I suggest going for Pizza and you wanted me to pick Sushi. You don’t make it clear sometimes and other times I simply don’t want what you want and I don’t like or feel the consequences are fair.
It’s like you’re a date and I’m trying to seek your approval but you’re like a mother who approves of me whatever. So then I wonder if it wouldn’t have been better if I was a serial killer and joined ISIS.
 I call you Jesus, Messiah and really like the story.  The main story. The central story of our time.  Crucifixion. Religion is supposed to address the question of why bad things happen to good people. I want divine retribution I guess. I”ve been pretty good. And I know to those who have most are expected more from but even then I look at my life compared to most and I’ve been mostly caring productive, creative, building, cooperative. I’m certainly not perfect in the eyes of others. I just wonder if instead of being a doctor I should have been Che.  I’ve done all I could to maintain order and contribute to progress. I’ve not torn down and destroyed things in general.

But I’ve wondered if I was doing enough or if I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Like sins of omission. Would it be better if I were to become a missionary or a monk. I looked into the monastery idea and found that little would differ in my life. This being a doctor bit would remain. Most others, other than my government, admire education and training and experience and doctors.  My own government and it’s doctors hates us and has reduced our numbers by half and taken the resources for doctors and given them to their chatter box cronies.  They like committees and talk and self congratulations. 

Yet I’m second guessing myself all the time now. I’m doing the best I can, doing as I was taught, making diagnosis which are respected in the broadest and highest levels. I’m doing therapeutics consistent with the latest research. I’m trained beyond the beyond, not only at the highest levels initially with this gift of an IQ and crazy workaholism and the most incredible teachers but ever since I’ve been incredibly studious.  But the goal posts have been moved.

I was taught to help people stay alive. The idea was good work as a doctor was judged against ‘quantity’, length of life. If a baby could live and I negligently caused a death, I was wrong.

Yet today our government, the leading authorities, those that license doctors celebrate MAID.  Euthanasia , death , is okay.  So if a person dies on my watch, someone suicides for instance, it’s not my fault and probably good. I”m supposed to look sad and go throug the politically correct emotions but so what.  I reduced the suicide attempts on the chronic suicide ward from 30 a year to 10 and the deaths from 3 or 4 a year to O but wasn’t even thanked. The individuals didn’t know because these traditionally critical stats of ‘quality care’ are not ‘overt’ but ‘hidden’.

I tell the story of the great research project so common. A Surgical unit discharged patient to 2 wards. In one ward the death rate was high.  In the other ward pretty well all the patients lived.  The surgeons were concerned because they wanted the best results from their work. So they investigated this.  The first ward had a head nurse everyone loved.  In psychiatry we call her a ‘good tit’.  Melanie Klein one of the first and leading psychiatrists said children see the world as a ‘good breast’ or ‘bad breast’.  If you are giving and positive happy happy you’re a ‘good tit’.  By contrast if you are not giving milk you’re a ‘bad tit’.
 On the second ward the head nurse was one of the ‘battle axe type matron’s, like Florence Nightingale and Sister Theresa.  High standards, demanding, critical and conscientious.  The key to survival after surgery is movement.  Patients in the ‘good tit’ ward were dying mostly because of blood clots. While on the ‘bad tit’ ward the patients were being made to walk according to the doctors protocols. The nurses were following the doctors orders and the patients were following the nurses orders and they were living and complaining about what bad ass or rather bad tits the nurses were because they were only happy if the patients were eating and walking and sleeping and generally being good patients and doing as they were supposed to to. On the other ward it was permissive, kind of like public schools, and everyone was happy except for the dying and dead and of course the surgeons who were accountable.

So while administration was very upset with the unpopular ‘bad tit’ nurse the surgeons loved that head nurse but her staff didn’t get a whole lot of chocolates or flowers. The living on the other ward however did give those nurses flowers and chocolates and having seen so many other patients dying during their stay thought the nurses who were being so kind and understanding were making all the difference. The fact was that these lucky ones would have probably lived with or without the ‘good tit’ nurses since they had other qualities of survival and genetics that may well have a ccounted for their survival.

The key here is that the dead didn’t get a vote.

The dead don’t vote.

This is the story of Communism of course.  The communists ‘stole from the rich and gave to the poor’.  Lenin, Malotov and Stalin before even Lenin murdered the Czar and the others killed the democratically elected leadership in Russia, were robbing banks and assassinating people.  This was a murderous gangster lot much like Mao in China.  Every communist socialist country to this day has had high death rates and poverty. The riches are made from taking them from the previous government.  It’s what Liberal governments are doing today but they’re stealing money from the children with creations of debt. It’s what Pierre Trudeau did in Canada and his son is doing now.  It’s a tried and proven rape and pillage tactic that began tens of thousands of yearss ago.  Warriors road across the tracks and stole the neighbours women’s and food.  

The famous statement ‘hide your potatoes’ came from Ireland because the English came across the water and stole everything so the Irish died of starvation en mass.

If someone is going to take what you make then you might as well not work.  So communist socialists countries run down simply because everyone sees there’s no reward. In capitalism the person who works more gets more.

However if you can’t get rewarded positively for good work then you learn to ‘hide your potatoes’.  This is the ‘black market’.

It’s estimated now in Canada that 50 to 75% of the economy is ‘underground’ because of the theft of government.  Government wants to redistribute wealth from the workers to those who are their friends.

In Canada in the health care system, which began as a ‘Medicare system’ paying for doctors, nurses and hospitals and equipment, has become a bloated cancerous burocacy with a whole bunch of half wit cousins of the Liberal party in positions of power with longer and longer waitlists and fewer and fewer people actually seeing patients and doing what was supposed to be ‘medical care’.  They ‘change’ the name of things.  This is what political correctness does.  

So in the DTES millions of dollars are voted for medical care and health care but instead we get ‘free crack pipes’

In the military medical care of veterans is given to murderers of policewomen. 

It’s so insane that psychiatrists like me said that the bars were on the windows of asylums to keep the world out.  We’re too sensitive for this lying cheating deceitful shit.  British Columbia after Quebec is the most criminal province in the world. It’s world renown for it’s 85 billion dollar pot industry and billions a year pass the border from China in fentanyl and heroin.  It’s a regular Los Vegas.  The Casinos are money laundering havens and the housing costs are so high normal people can’t afford to live here because international criminals, especially the gangsters and their families from Communist China have bought speculation property housing.

The Middle East is a gangster religion with the Tribal groups like aboriginals having economies based on jihad military and slave sales and any business goes with crime and corruption so bad that whole states are no go zones.  The persecution of Christians is rampant and gang rape is the normal. There is no peace except for the wealthy and the wealthy have got wealthy paying fortunes for protection.

The US is the most sought after nation , the ‘promised land’ where people from all over the world run to. They don’t run to Saudi or China or South Africa. They come to Capitalist countries because if you are an inventor and work, if you are a businessman and work and if you are a doctor and work you will be rewarded .  Taxes are low.  Costs are low.  People are rewarded for working. Those who work can have good lives and their children can have better. In Saudi Arabia and especially in communist countries there is little upward mobility.  Most of the world functions on who your father and mother were and which caste or tribe you belong to.  Education is reserved for the rich.  If you are a successful singer an agent will fund you and take all your income.  Here there is a chance for a successful singer to keep enough potatoes not only to thrive but to have their families thrive. 50% of millionaires in the states are self made in their own life times. That’s why it’s called the ‘land of opportunity’.  

There is a war now between the communists and capitalists, between the Liberals and Conservatives, between the ISIS and the Christians.  

The best song of our times for this was Leonard Cohen’s There is a war between the rich and the poor, a war between the man and the woman.

A friend just bought a house. I learned she never bought anything new. My brother never bought anything not on sale.  These are good people. They are discerning steady eddies. My present lack of a space ship isn’t because I’m ‘oppressed’ by the rich but because I’ve preferred spending my money on chocolate and television. I’ve wasted a whole lot of resources while the richest man I knew , the owner the mercantile bank of London, singleminded worked from childhood to amass wealth and own a London bank. He was ‘single minded’.  These guys are like General Patton. My grandfather, a Reece and Rancher wasn’t anything like the Kardasians. He lived and breathed cattle. I’ve spent my life doing medicine and psychiatry.  I’ve specialized.  Specialization depends on having potatoes.  I need protection and reward to do my job but don’t feel I have that here.  

God guide me today.     You know I’m ready to die.  I go to bed ready to die and wake up here. And here is great. I’m grateful for my dog and the cat who are alive and remind me I have to feed them and work to feed them.  I have to continue to build for the future. If I wake up tomorrow I’ll need food. I exercised some today. I meditated .I’m going to get out of the house which is very frightening. It’s very hard to leave this house and go out in the world where there’s kamikaze cars on the commute and all the angry entitled people and all the social justice warriors. Every woman looks at men like the English looked at the Irish. We’re peasants and oppressed by their sexuality and their sexual claims.

Is it 50% or more now that women claim sexual abuse/harrassment/rape. -it’s never clear what this is. Even the courts have a moving target. And daily ‘thou shalt not bear false witness’ is accepted by women in the workplace. I am today wondering if I could get a job in a male jail because it might be more safe but maybe some woman in my junior high school thought I sexually harrassed her and with a slick lawyer will come for my potatoes. I don’t know if I can keep anything because liars and criminals are so much more rewarded in CAnada than the workers and the actual soldiers who fought for this country and were wounded are being thrown under the bus by this government which doesn’t like doctors, and hates the educated, well what hope is their for me. I’m a bad tit.  But you woke me up today God and I’ll get going with my day.  It’s like invasion of the body snatchers out there. I’m truly terrified.  It’s so hard to get out of the room. But you woke. Me.  I’ll have a shower. i like hot showers and I’ll put on fresh clothes and I like my car so I’ll get in my car. I preferred trains but didn’t like being pick pocketed or looking down and seeing a knife at my ribs in public transit knowing that the government doesn’t protect me from criminals.  I’m afraid of all the violent dangerous gangs of men from other cultures who lie together and I’m getting old and can’t defend myself with running like I could as a kid and getting old in Canada is terrifying.

But I trust in you God.  PLease Lord be with me in all my endeavours , protect me and guide me and help me safely through this day.  Help me help others and protect me from those who want to kill doctors and nurses and hide their true intentions with smiles.  Help me not suicide today Lord. I know the government makes money off euthanasia and it wants me to kill myself . It’s minions have indicated as much. They want us old men , especially the old white men to die. They convinced the women to abort the babies. Now they want us to die.  Help me to live today. You woke me up.

Bless me like Joaz . Expand my territory.  Help me to Laugh like Borther Lawerence and be Like St. Patrick and see like St. John and take heart like St. George.  God be with me, in me, above me around me and help me to hear and see you always today. God is good all of the time.