Forgiveness

Please God, help me to forgive my enemies. Help me to let go of the memories of those cows and weasels that so infested my life with their poison and venom as to leave huge gaping holes in my consciousness and my own ability to love and care for others.
Let me remember always that you are all and they can only be an aspect of you who is love. Help me to let them go and let those memories go as they were only lessons in life. I survived those little peckers worst, their greatest of insults and most frightening of attacks, their betrayals, failed promises and putrid stink.  Help me to celebrate more and whine less.
My survival is your doing Lord, for weak as I am, and you know me, without you I would have hunted them down to the last of their family and friends and castrated and sterilized every last one, after I’d cooked up and eaten their best parts, and made a feast of their flesh for the birds and animals, and used them for compost for my vegetable garden. But you Lord have reminded me over and over again that I should do unto others as I would  have them do unto me so I have not done anything that I would have done, like burying them in anthills alive or posting them on my front law with their ravaged intestines spilling their own deaths into their slow dying screaming bodies.
I have as you taught me never retaliated but rather turned to the kindness of police and courts and authorities who have more often than not done squat to capture, punish or stop the killers, rapists, thieves and bad genes.  This has lead to me having even more resentments, now not just again the original piece of shit and spittle, but now against the smegma authorities, who I pay in taxes to protect the innocent and maintain law and order.  Help me most of all to forgive the governments, politicians, police, bureaucrats and  military who I have felt so failed me off spending my taxes on their parties when they should be protecting me from the bottom feeders and nuking my enemies so I don't think of their thefts and abuses because I find myself carrying grudges most against those ones I didn't smote.
Thank you lord for letting me know that as I get older some little shit that hurt me in grade school has died now from an awful disease and I can have moments of gloating, but far fewer than I would think appropriate given the taxes I pay to have the wrong doers jailed and fried.  So especially Lord help me forgive the useless help, the utterly shitty security systems that let the fat cows and their minions through the defences and have me personally wasting precious time defending myself from their pathetic onslaughts and lies.
Now Lord, I know that I am to forgive my enemies because these people could only be my friends if we all agreed in the karmic bardot to have a play and this time round I’d play the long suffering one while they’d play the asshole and dickwad, otherwise these people must be my ‘enemy’.  Because God, you are the orubunga and alone in the universe divided first into light and dark and then played the game of hide and seek, leaving me not knowing whether you or we are the ass biter or the ass.
So God I forgive you biting my ass and will try for ever not to bite yours so together we can find peace and go back to that glorious time before our game of hide and seek when we were one and the kids weren’t bothering me with their incessant drama.
But Lord, help me to let go of these resentments and forget the times when I bit my tongue till it bled or hit the walls with my fists till they bled or isolated for as long as I possibly could getting as far away from my fellow humans as humanly possible,  knowing my own nefarious self to the depth of my own evil and cunning and treacherous killing ways, knowing I did not retaliate as I could but instead moved on, ever believing that loving was superior to killing, fear and retaliation.
So Lord let me forgive my enemies and their raucous institutions and their principles of evil.  Help me to see the good in all and pray and meditate on the light. Don’t let me give evil for evil and thereby become like the diarrhea and slime that they are.
I admire their performances Lord, knowing that my greatest teacher is the one who causes my death but Lord help me to forget these times when it cost me so very much to act civilized among the immature, my enemies,  whose mothers and fathers raised them as insects rather than as humans.  Help me tolerate those who are not house trained or even human, whose parents were even more feral and incompetent.
Help me Lord to Love all life and see you in all rather than responding to my own sense of fear and desire for revenge.  Help me Lord to love always.  Mostly now help me to forgive. I forgive all those who in the past have harmed me and been so harmful in their natures to all others not just me.  I forgive the insults of the past but know too well Lord that even as I am forgiving this moment later today I will remember the tours and let those bad feelings and thoughts return to help me wall off that memory without necessitating early dementia.  I know that resentments and fears and schemes and hatred eat up the RAM's and feel the hard drives of the computer so help me Lord to lighten my load and free up more space for love and life.
I pray that all these bad actors and bad actresses also find their goodness and next time round we can stop the violence and play well together. I ask now Lord, that you bless these enemies and their institutions and all that ass biting half, the darkness in the world ,that we may all together know the light that is truly you.
For all is you Lord. You are the light. And all is love and I know that I can not come to your table while I hold onto these resentments against bad ex’s, bad governments, bad bureaucrats, bad philosophies, bad religions, bad enemies of the state, bad thieves, bad liars, bad animals killers, bad baby molesters,  bad drug dealers, bad arms dealers, bad tobacco CEO’s, bad wall street little penis people, bad bankers, bad lawyers, bad feminists, bad special interests beggars, bad climate change and non climate change news hoggers, bad media, bad gangsters, bad everything. I have to love you in all your manifestations, and understanding Job and Mishnah and all the works of religion at it’s truest know that I am in myself, the devil and the lover ,and must love the devil with forgiveness not celebration or joining, but with the love of a father for a son who is lost as you know and love me for I am so often lost.  I know Lucifer was your son and you loved the prodigal and I am the prodigal and I am always returning to you Lord, loving you and understanding that all those who I have played with in this life have only been doing their ‘part’ in this great drama of life.  Everyone and everything are just facets of you God who I love with all my heart and all my soul and all my being. Help me love today and let go of the sadness of my memories of enemies. Help me to not worry about enemies in the future but rather live wholly in the present in love with you.
So for my forgiveness ,I have to forgive as you forgive. I would be as you God, loving, so let me stop the nasty thoughts and remembrances of these shit eating holes and their pissy little friends and institutions and instead love you and love all that is good, for it is me that turns from the beautiful and looks at the ugly, and it is me that is forever looking for the negative when you would have me look to the light and glorious. I beg you to help me moment by moment to always love and never fear for you are always here, and I am always with you, and we are all here together in your love, and death is not an end but just a new beginning and even now I know so little that I don’t even know when I’m biting ass or having my ass bit ,so help me walk in the light lord so I can at least see whose ass is whose.
I pray for my enemies to wake up and see the light and be with you and forgive me my poor dance steps and misdeeds and lack of love and respect for them who are just you in disguise Lord.  I love you God and would walk at your side.  Help me forgive my enemies because you know I’m clearly not very good at it.  And please Lord, Stop Biting My Ass!  And alright, I'll try to stop biting yours.