Saturday, October 23, 2010

Morning of

There are mornings after and mornings before.
But this is the morning of my day.
What day it is, I do not know
But hope I use it better
Than any day I've had before.

That's not that my will is in it.
I give my day to the Lord.
Lord of Creation! Lord of all. Lord of before and after.
Lord of this day

I would know you more. Be closer to you.
Be gentler, more humble, more skilled and accomplished.
I would celebrate and praise your wonder.
I am in awe of you, this life, this time.

I watched and heard a small bird sing.
I Walked with the dog along the river
Stood under the bridge where traffic passes,
Lovers linger, old men and old women drink from cans,
And teen agers write grafitti.

I am home again, drinking coffee.
There are no mountains to scale or oceans to cross
On this days agenda.
I've laundry to do and errands to run.
Tonight I'll attend a performance of the opera.
I share my company with my lover.

I wonder what all this has to do with martyrdom,
World peace, finding a cure for cancer, and learning to forgive.
If only my thoughts could be more pure and kind
And I could see the good in what I think is evil.
If only I could sit here with another cup of coffee
Reading my book of history
And feel more wrapped in your arms, my Lord.

Maybe then I'd have the courage just to face the rest of this day,
Struggling to recover from a work of war and misery,
Hoping to find the spark within to go another week,
When every fiber in my being screams to run away.

To flee to my own devices, to live in my own shadow.
To take orders from no one and be defiant with all,
To criticize but never give except to my own ,
Who I expect to owe me even when I deny my own
Selfishness and utter fear of mortality.

Self pity. Save me lord from the sour sweet whine
Of my own smallest of violins.
Let me walk tall with angels and stand with those
Who answer good to bad and see the positive in the negative,
Find solutions where others only see problems,
Say nothing if they have nothing good to say.
Help me in my endeavors today
Even if the outsides of my routine are mundane,
Let me be a saint in my soul
Let me know Thee more,
And love my neighbors more,
Especially the stupid, undeserving, angry, whining
Bullying, obnoxious, ungrateful, sullen, ugly, smelly,
Irreverent, yapping,arrogant, sons and daughters of swine.





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