Thursday, July 16, 2009
My first thought on waking this morning was how rested I felt. I love when my body hits the bed at night and I sink into forgetfulness and dream. There were no nightmares last night. There was no sleep shattering pain. There were no calls of crisis. No emergencies. I never once woke running to face blood, tragedy or terror. No alarms went off. No phones rang. The wind did not blow the windows in. There was no smoke. I did not have a partner whose resentment and anger seared the very air sucking all life from the atmosphere around. I did not need to have a gun or knife beneath my pillow because a violent psychotic bully neighbour had been shooting his mouth and gun off with equal hostility. I did not have a storm throw my life around causing me to feel infinitely small, alone and afraid. I did not have to stay awake for days and nights on end with crying meningitic sleepless babies. I did not worry all night I'd made a mistake and someone might die. I did not think I said the wrong thing knowing too well the wrong thing could slip out of a mouth and cause such damage. I did not have my room flooded and wake floating. The roof did not cave is so that I woke in wet and rain. The heating did not go off. I did not wake freezing in snow. I did not wake in my own vomit. I did not wake to angry shouts. I did not wake to the terror or the previous day continuing in the morning of the next.
No. I woke gently. Feeling so gloriously rested. Maybe it was good to be with friends last night. Maybe it was just a gift for weeks of hard work and strife. Mostly I don't take notice of the important things and may have missed this any number of times. I take so much for granted.
But I noticed this today though. God this feels good I thought as I rolled over and looked at the clock and fell back to sleep for another hour of bliss. Languishing in bed.
How grateful I am for such simple pleasures. No rich or powerful or self important man or woman can know a better sleep than such a sleep. I 've known my share I'm sure.