Sunday, July 12, 2009

Cognitive Therapy

It doesn't take much to change a mood. Cognitive therapy has taught us that what we feel is what we think. I can change what I feel by changing what I think. More importantly I can change what I dwell on.

The taxman sends a letter saying I am in debt. I am in debt because I hired a criminal staff member and a criminal accountant. Somewhere the police stopped arresting criminals and instead solely record crime. Further Canadian beaurocrats can make countless errors but citizens can only correct those errors through high personal costs in time and money and lawyers fees. Wronged citizens, especially tax paying ones, are rarely compensated. Most Canadians now are looking for ways to avoid taxes, such as growing marijuania or getting into government. A University of McGill study showed that positive work declines with increasing punishment. The Bible showed that building the wall of Jerusalem could only occur when builders were protected.

Every Canadian owes $35,500 individually because the Taxman is in debt. Brunei, a tiny country I have never heard of, is one of the only countries in the world that has not put it's citizens into a bad debt.

Most of my friends who were highly responsible and conservative with their money had it stolen by criminals in high places who to date have not gone to jail. The evidence, especially in the unravelling of the cover up, that in 9-11, an inside job, Dick Chaney was responsible for killing tax paying citizens. Covert aggression kills just as certainly as overt aggression. The very rich simply have tax shelters, insider information, assassins, private armies and bought off Taxmen. A National Post editorial in Canada freely asked what was the difference between political parties and gangs such as the Hell's Angel and Tong.

To date no Taxmen have been killed by their country here. Soldiers are routinely killed by our country or it's allies in Afghanistan. Now the Bible talks definitely about Taxmen and says that they can be 'saved'. A taxman figures prominently in the gospel. Jesus eats with one showing the depth of his compassion.

Now I could think along these lines and feel badly. Taxmen have children and care for their own just as sociopaths do. Buddhists ask what is 'right livelihood' Can you be a Taxman and be a Christian? Can you be a Taxman and be a Buddhist?

I could fixate on Taxmen and ruin my whole day despite knowing that I'm doing what most Canadians and most countries are doing, that is, playing the game of "I'm less than". This is a game all bullies create. I have and you have not. The fact is I have this beautiful day. I have the air. I have the sunshine. I have life (until the Taxman reads this.)

I can focus my mind on flowers. I can seek peace of mind and know that no matter how hard I work and how good I am a Taxman can come along and try to ruin my day.

Right now my knee hurts as a result of an injury. It's causing me a great deal of pain. I'm getting over a cold or flu and don't have much energy. My friend is dying. I always seem to have a friend dying but then I realized that's only because I have a lot of friends. Again I can focus on whatever side of the equation I want to. I can further have faith that life will get better despite my aging and slow death and daily increasing need for cosmetic surgery and every other medical aid to slow the inevitable, along with others' body organs. Brain first, please.

Or I can 'psych myself up" for my day. I can pray and meditate and exercise to the best of my ability and associate with positive friends and positive activities. Today I'm on the way to the church because I noticed I had got into the bad habit of listening to the fear mongering in the news. Last week I almost committed suicide because Michael Jackson died. Then I realized that I don't even know Michael Jackson. This wasn't like the shooting of John Lennon, either. More a Sylvia Plath - Kurt Coban variation.

I'm more jaded with age. I'm more easily thrown into a loop by a beaurocrats threatening letter.Only beaurocrats these days are still ill mannered and offensive. Normal people are becoming a lot more civilized a lot faster because suicide bombers are a dime a dozen. My neighbour may have a meth lab he could blow it up if I don't tell him his green hair looks okay.

Taxmen talk like they represent the country that is good. They don't even realize that everyone owes taxes because the country was supposed to stop the taxes after the WWII and it didn't. The Taxman is not good but it's a job he does like the guy who breaks legs for the casino. Some people just take these jobs. Prostitution and drug dealing and being in politics and maybe being professionals, like doctors, lawyers and kindergarden teachers. Kindergarden teachers are baby jailors by a different name. I can make my self crazy thinking about these things.

Or I can look at flowers. I can go for a walk. I can play Handel's Water Music. I am the one who chooses what I dwell on. I love the expression that goes , a bird can fly over your head and shit on your head but that doesn't mean you let it make a nest there.

One letter in which a beaurocrat makes an error saying I didn't pay my taxes when I did and I'm thinking about the unfairness, the poor me-ness, the above the law nature of erroneous Taxmen, how Taxmen aren't monitored, how they should have daily drug testing, and how no one with less than a phd should have a Taxman job in any enlightened universe.

Or I can think another beaurocrat made another mistake and it will be corrected and life will go on. This beaurocratic mistake didn't kill like the last one that gave me nightmares. Stepping in the blood that came from a beaurocrats error. No big deal.

It's a sunny day. Your good leg works. You're no longer in bed with the flu. Your other friends are living. Life goes on.

Cognitive therapy says I am what I think. Change your thinking and you'll change your mood.

Ah but if you had my problems. Yes. But.

I find the serenity prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (Taxman incompetence and bullying, sore legs, friends dying, rain earlier this week, work) The courage to change the things I can (my thinking) and the wisdom to know the difference. Helps me shut off the lawyer in my head that makes a case against my having a good day.

Now I'm going to go to church and a meeting and be with positive people seeking love. I may be in physical debt but I don't have to be in spiritual debt. God loves us all individually and equally and unconditionally. God loves the Taxman. Maybe I can try to be like God and love the Taxman and the Taliban and Dick Cheney and Kindergarden teachers.

1 comment:

bobbi said...

Keep coming back my friend,,,,
Keep coming back