Thank you God for the rest.

I am grateful today.  I’m settled back into my residence with Star Link finally working.  I’d restored electricity , water and sewer and had the marvellous ladies from Merry Maid come to clean my place as well as clean and sort the camper.  I had simply done so much since arriving back from two and one half months in the south missing winter here. It’s not a minor matter.  So many matters need to be addressed with even a short term move. I’m still sorting out my mail which wasn’t forwarded but collected at the post office to be there when I returned.  

The greatest challenge was the death of Starlink, the cable and dish interface failing. Starlink sent me a new dish and cable but in the the couple of weeks I had to use Tengointernet which has a limit of two devices and sometimes intermittent coverage.  It really did tide me over. Now my Star link is up.

At Apple gifted myself the new Titanium tough watch, good for scuba diving and having gps and maps. It replaces my Garmin and the Apple iWatch that really was too gentle for the hunting and camping trips I took it on.  I was glad for the $200 trade in.

There was the mini ipad that Apple Care replaced since it had broken with a bang being carried in a knapsack.  I bought the new Samsung 43 QLED Smart TV having had such pleasure upgrading the tv in the camper to a ‘smart’ one. I was able to give the old one, still in great shape to a friend who told me his smaller tv had just begun to fade.  Timely advance

Kelvin of Travco helped me with the getting the electricity and water and ensuring the camper was set up for storage.  Murray was so kind to make the time to come out to Chilliwack with the camper, get it off loaded then tarp it against leaks. He drove my mini home and I drove the truck.  

I worked the week too. I even made it to the clinic and gave Karen the hard copies of work that I’d turbofaxed her from Yuma.  

Today I’m picking up my new hearing aids.

I’d kept money in reserve while travelling in case of any calamity in the US.  Only minor costs , like fixing the sewage outlet arose so I felt I had this ‘saved’ money so could do some self care. I was even able to gift family which always feels good.  When I was young my aunt use to surprise us with small gifts of ‘fun money’ she called it. 

I had my hair coloured and nail painted black.  I’ve been to church and meetings.

It’s like I’m reestablished in my home.

I learned some things.  One was that I didn’t ‘use my city’.  What I enjoyed away is right here at home.  The beaches and birds of Oceanside California with the surfers and people having fun on the beach is readily available in English Bay. It’s simply been to long since I ‘ve made the time to go there. Covid so disrupted my life that I became a homebody. I used to have season’s tickets to the Ballet, Theatre and often went to the Opera and Symphony.  Since Covid I’ve just made it to a couple of sympthonies.  I’ve the New Westminster seawall I can walk and I’ve done that a couple of times. It’s not quite Stanley Park but it’s a working riven and truly lovely. I really need to do that more , having the fish and chips on the outings.  It’s been too long since I’ve been to Steveston’s.  I haven’t had chilli at the top of Grouse or Cyprus and haven’t been snow shoeing or skiing since before Covid.  Since Covid I’ve mostly walked the Brunette River with little change in routine, a circumscribed life and too much time watching tv and not venturing out. I realized that while I ride my motorcycle I’d not done more than day trips and the fun was weekends in the saddle a camping nights.  I’ve been hunting a few times and still love Princeton and Merritt and 100 mile.  I’ve done a few weekends at Harrison but simply not enough. Away I was taking trips to ghost towns, riding my bike to the Marine Airfield, going to the Proving grounds, checking out the wildlife museum, trying out different outdoor cafe’s.  I love people watching on Commercial and it’s the best but too much time I took the path of least ressstance.  I did several virtual meetings a week but before Covid I was doing them in person. I was attending the Canadian Author Association monthly meetings and making it too regularly.  I was participating in my city.  I realized that and have made the plan to mend my ways.  More exercise and more being a tourist in my own town. It was good to see Murray , Dave and Mack.  Covid isolated me and now I’m realizing I need to make the effort to reconnect. 

I gather I was depressed by the time I left.  The stress of Covid and illness and all the patients struggling with finances because of government corruption and mismanagement. It was great being away because I wasn’t hearing of Trudeau mania, the frenzy of a bad kid spending no everyone else’s money as if it was his own.  Twisted and evil.  I let it get to me because finances were so hurting my patients and as I listened to them every day it got to me how the lies of Ottawa were hurting the little guys of the west.  I got away and for 2 and 1/2 months didn’t see the devastation, didn’t have to watch the countries decline to a third world nation.  America had its problems but they were not my problems and I was just passing through. I really have to let go of the politics of my home because I’m just passing through.

I am praying every day. I meditated daily but not long enough. Not deep enough. It’s like walking the dog. I do that every day three times , about an hour and a half to two hours but I know I’ve done a better job when on some days I’ve walked him more.  In Arizona I had a longer walk routine and we both benefitted from the exercise. He’s my physiotherapist.  

 I’m supposed to be writing books but frankly I’m enjoying my work and time.

I’m astonished at the ‘mess’ I’ve created since returning. I really need to ‘cull’ my stuff. I’m far too cluttered and after living just fine in a little camper for 2 1/2 half months I can see there’s just so much I’ve got that’s duplicated or in excess. I’ve pots I don’t use and mugs I don’t use and everything is duplicated in the storage locker.  I have a dozen dress shirts and would only wear those if I had to go to court.  I have so much trouble reducing and wished I had someone I could do this work with.

Should I keep this, give it away, or toss it ?  Person. 

I’m going to make an effort.  Maybe a trip to the storage locker too. That’s gloomy though and I’d love some help there. I’ve spent so much of my life entertaining others and serving their needs that it’s good now to show self care. I’ve not got into the chiropracter her though my back has been painful. My knee has been problematic too but I did swim and can do more of that.  Before I left I was swimming twice a week though not doing enough laps or spending enough time.  I picked up a couple of hand weights and need to simply move with them to help the tremor in my hand from the neck injury in the pitchpoling rolling car crash, my first near death experience. God has been good to me , what with helping me survive plane crashes, motorcycle crashes, truck crashes , assaults and being held hostage. it’s been an adventure and always God has been there. Thank you Jesus.  

I really need to read scripture more but I do this is spurts whereas I did better when I took courses and need to do that again, commit to study. I’ve a conference in psychiatry I must attend to find the answer to questions I’m encountering.  One day at a time.  One step after the next.  

Today I’ll address the hurdle of banks and taxes.  That’s the next step . I’ll get started right now.  

Thank you for the air, the earth, the trees, the river, Madigan, wifi, cell service, propane, heat, running water, electricity, my heater blanket, the refridgerator, expresso maker, milk, honey

thank you for all this God. Thank you for feelings and the temporary material pleasures of consumer happiness. Help me to seek joy more in you and know that attachment is still a struggle. Help me to over come fear of financial insecurity and better manage my time and resources to your  end.  

I’m happy in my own adventure. I know that so many do it. It’s not like bicycling a cross Europe, becoming a specialist, being a flyin doctor in northern canada or on tropical islands or sailing solo to Hawaii through winter hurricanes. It’s fairly mundane.  Driving a truck and camper with a dog and motorcycle down to the Mexican border and skipping a Canadian winter for a season, living and working virtual for 2 and 1/2 months.  It’s something I dreamed of doing when I read Steinbeck’s Travel’s with Charlie and a dream I had when I sailed my sailboat to Sea of Cortez and left it there to return to only to have a divorce limit that dream and adventure. I know now to chart my own course but while I invite others along they don’t share my dream and have their own ideas of what brings them joy.  Now I’m again wondering what I’ll do when I grow up.

What’s the next adventure. I imagine Venice, Berlin and Vienna or Thailand and India again. I ‘d love to return to South Ireland and scotland but truthfully I’m travelled out and think maybe this year I’ll just visit family and maybe join a moose hunt. I do want to go to Victoria again. It’s one of those places I’ve been too long away from.  

I continue to explore the anima feeling I’ve done my animus time as best I can and physically feeling no longer capable of the ‘masculine ‘ idea of being the ‘woman’s tool’. Serving her lifting and carrying and defending and supporting her. I’d instead like more massages and maybe visits to the hot tub and spas.  My body has really hurt with the storms and weather here. It was more comfortable in the dessert but I expect that in time that would have worn. I love the air here now as I loved the air there.  I am here with the coming of spring and that’s joyous.  I love the bird songs and look forward to the migration that’s so exciting here.  

thank you Jesus.  Son of God you came to earth and faced the ignorance and fear of the closed minds of the worldly.  Help me open my heart and mind to your lesson of faith.  I would know your grace and be more aware each day. Thank you for all your blessings.

Thank you for the dreams. I loved that the toilet that accommodation had been painted, the room was white and not the sordid shitty mess that it so often is.   I loved discussing paranoia in another dream with my esteemed colleague. It’s like I’m emotionally able to confront the greatest threat and time of greatest abuse in my life in a different way. I can look the betrayal in the face racially but my unconscious is letting me know I’ve moved forward.

It’s like every time I finished a motorcycle ride I’m again assured that God loves and protects me. Thank you Jesus.